Sha Gojyo

S ・ A ・ U ・ D ・ A ・ D ・ E
'But the true light sleeps, deep within the darkness.
That's why the worlds are still scattered, divided from each other.
But someday, a door to the innermost darkness will open.
And the true light will return.'
Premise | Game Setting Quick Reference Page | In-Game Rewards
Saudade is a panfandom community game with a backdrop of Kingdom Hearts and absolutely no requirement to have played (or understood) the games. It was shiny, so we snagged it for our funtimes, and it helps us power-balance. We accept applications for AUs and OCs, prior game experience, duplicates, and minor characters in addition to the usual canon ones. The FAQ is geared to people with no Kingdom Heart familiarity.

Reserves are always open! Applications are open every other weekend! The game seeks to encourage player plotting and mod-provided Missions, so adventurous types who won't sit idle are encouraged.

Other pertinent info:
- The mods have a sense of humor (see: 90% of the game's info pages) meaning pitch us something and we're likely to Rule Of Cool it!
- Keep a lot of your characters' powers, or give new ones to non-magical characters!
- Prose / logging encouraged, but a Network does exist!
- Visit other canon worlds! But return to the central world of Penrose.
- The game has a plurk account saudademods for announcements, discussions, and plotting.
- You don't get your very own keyblade, but Armor is an option - see Awakening - and other cool items or clout - see Soberan for full details!
- Game size is small

'Even in the deepest darkness, there will always be light to guide you.
Believe in the light, and the darkness will never defeat you.'

To see our current taken characters, check out the Cast page!

PLAYER
NAME: Frudence
EMAIL: iblamejen@gmail.com
PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She
BEST CONTACT: frudence
TIMEZONE: Eastern
AGE: 28
PLAYED CHARACTERS: n/a
LINK TO RESERVE: [Link]

CHARACTER
NAME(S): Sha Gojyo, Gojyo being his given name.
AGE: 19.
CANON: Manga/Anime - Saiyuki (Gensomaden Saiyuki/Saiyuki Reload/Saiyuki Reload Gunlock) by Minekura Kazuya.

BACKGROUND HISTORY:
[CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE, CHILD ABUSE, AND INCEST]

Sha Gojyo was born to a human mother and a youkai* father, but his mother wasn't his father's wife. Both blood parents committed suicide and tried to take Gojyo with them but obviously failed. After that, Gojyo somehow found himself in the "care" of the woman he came to call Mom - his father's legal wife, a youkai, and mother to his older half-brother. Since Gojyo was not her child by blood, a constant reminder of her husband's adultery and why he was no longer in her life, she beat Gojyo, yelled at him, and could only be comforted by sexual placation with his older brother, Jien. Yet for all that abuse, young Gojyo still wanted to make her happy. One day, Mom tried to kill Gojyo with an axe, and Jien made the desperate decision to stop her by killing her instead. Gojyo was 12**. To the present day, Gojyo carries two scars on his left cheek from where his mother scratched him. The brothers parted ways and didn't see each other for approximately 11 years - and beyond Gojyo's canon point - when Jien had taken on the name Dokugakuji and was in service of the youkai prince Kougaiji.

*Youkai live longer than humans, tend to have elemental powers, and are marked physically by a small tattoo somewhere on their body, elongated ears, and fangs. In Gojyo's case, the element is water because he is a "kappa", or water demon.

**At first, canonically this occurred when he was 8. Later in canon it was retconned to age 12.

This next interim period of the series - after Gojyo separated from Jien but before the four protagonists including Gojyo meet - is known as the "Burial arc", which isn't revealed in canon until Saiyuki Reload vol. 4, the 2nd installment of the series. In the Burial arc we learn that Gojyo made his way as a child wandering the streets of Chang'an - which is probably nearby his childhood home, but not the exact same town - by street-fighting, stealing, and other desperate measures. He hated the thought of dying and fought desperately to survive, but having any kinds of expectations that his lot would improve hurt just as much. The human-dominated city was not kind to a teen half-youkai. One street-fight caught the attention of Banri, a youkai involved in the criminal underbelly of the city. Banri nurtured Gojyo's baser nature, teaching him how to play cards, rack up a beer tab, smoke Hi-Lites, and become quite the lady's man, all while doing criminal jobs around town. Gojyo was already very capable of street-fighting when he and Banri met, but Banri taught Gojyo how to making a real living off that and cards while they lived together in Banri's place on the outskirts of town. Banri made Gojyo believe there was no other trade or destiny that youkai would be allowed to pursue except by leeching off the humans, and that that included a half-youkai like Gojyo, colloquially known as a child of taboo***. Most humans don't recognize the taboo children based on physical characteristics, while most youkai do. Thus, while Gojyo has lived among humans for most of his life and feels more comfortable in their culture, he's not comfortable enough to live with one in town.

***Taboo children are half-youkai and so-called because it is a social taboo for the two races to fornicate. They are marked physically by blood-red hair and eyes; apparently possess no elemental powers; and yet they do have some measure of extraordinary strength, speed, and life expectancy.

One day, Banri is gone. Just gone. We find out a year later that he had an affair with a politician's wife and fled town. This leaves Gojyo with Banri's place and enough skills to survive, but no personal relationships to encourage him to thrive. He gets through the days playing cards, drinking, and generally slumming it up, then gets through the nights with a warm body beside him. Repeat ad infinitum. That is, until the day Gojyo comes across a nearly-dead man lying face down in the rain. (Gensomaden Saiyuki vol. 5) Out of curiosity, Gojyo approached him and found out he was aware enough to look at him. By Gojyo's own admission, it was the look in the guy's eye that made him want to help keep him alive. Gojyo took the man (Cho Gonou who would become Hakkai) back to his house and planned to have a doctor look at him when the Darkness took hold of him and brought him to Saudade.

For additional canon reference beyond his pull point, here is another application I wrote most recently for Gojyo at age 23. This wiki's history also does a good job of assembling the Sannenmae/3 Years Ago and Burial Arc vignettes about his life prior to the start main series.

PERSONALITY:
Hakkai is quoted very early on in his friendship with Gojyo as saying: "Honestly, you make a terrible villain." This could not be a better summary of young Gojyo. He thinks he has no future except on the lowest rungs of the ladder and literally can't afford to embrace the heart of gold he has. He doesn't expect any kindness from anyone else because he doesn't expect anything of himself. He's literally chained to his heritage as a taboo child, unable to grow beyond that identity. Unfortunately, he needs help to see that he can, and it's easier to just pretend the pain isn't there than address it. Hakkai is canonically known for his plastic smile, but at this age Gojyo has one too, which is one of the reasons he feels comfortable around Hakkai almost immediately. Letting people believe he's nothing more than a barfly who happens to be really good at cards is a safer life to lead than making friends. So he jokes with people about their skill at cards, lets women hang off of him to distract the other guys, and never lets them call his bluff.

Saying that Gojyo is rough around the edges is an understatement. He never had formal schooling, he smokes, he drinks, he sleeps around - yet he never gets so drunk that he can't walk home and he carries condoms with him to have sex. He drawls lazy syllables around a cigarette most days and doesn't have a large vocabulary, but treats women with respect. He loves gambling, but isn't surprised if he loses. Gojyo once asked Gonou/Hakkai if he was the "clever, poor type" or alternatively "jack of all trades, master of none" and admitted that he (Gojyo) was too. He's not as dumb as Goku and Sanzo tease him for being in the series, but he won't apply those smarts to things he doesn't care about. At 19, all he cares about is survival - unless he gets new companions. You can't even call them friends because he's used to having feelings that aren't reciprocated as strongly as he gives them out.

Later canon shows us the kind of man Gojyo wants to become. He sacrifices himself to a gambit of Banri's when he comes back into Gojyo's life, allowing Banri to live on even when he knows full well Banri wouldn't have done the same for him. Much later, two brothers were being deceived by a man called "Kami-sama" and Gojyo in fact left his companions (who at first continued on their journey without him) to try to help the brothers, nearly dying in the process yet again. While Sanzo and Goku both accuse Gojyo of being "lecherous", it is nearly always harmless flirting. In fact, the girls he hits on will often indulge his advances and it is only then that Gojyo "gets in trouble" -- being smacked with a paper fan by Sanzo and teased verbally by Goku. In essence, while he enjoys sex, he can actually restrain himself, and is more interested in love, which he has never experienced and has said before that he'd "like to experience it at least once".

This also goes back to his history: he's the only child of a married man and his mistress, who both decided to commit suicide & tried to take Gojyo with them. Afterwards, he ended up in the care of his father's legal wife and her son Jien (Gojyo's half-brother and a full youkai), but his "mother" was so distraught by what happened that she often abused Gojyo physically & mentally. To stop her, Jien engaged in intercourse with his own mother. She still cried all the time and that was why Gojyo (approx. age 12) was wiling to die if it stopped his mother's tears. As a result, Gojyo doesn't think he's ever experienced love in his whole life, not even familial love - although Jien may disagree.

The original story that Saiyuki is based on focuses on redemption, on obtaining enlightenment after a fall from grace. Gojyo relying on physical pleasures and downplaying his need for emotional connection, or even intellectual pursuits, is a part of that. He has some increased strength, a great deal more endurance, and some improved speed and dexterity, allowing him to jump and swing his bladed staff. Despite all that, his fighting style remains crude - mainly tavern-brawling, including punches and kicks - and his only "magical" ability is his power to summon his weapon, which comes from the weapon itself. Some extraordinary talents - ability to hold his breath for long periods of time, impressive charisma, as well as elevated strength/endurance/speed/dexterity - are often ascribed to his heritage as a half-water-youkai, only vaguely reminiscent of the kappa of Japanese myth that he is often called as a nickname. There is an inherently good child locked away behind the solid walls Gojyo erected to protect himself. He can be a light-hearted older brother instead of a sassy punk, he can be a loyal friend instead of a business partner, and he can go on a completely different journey than canon allows for to get there. He just needs something or someone to spark his interest again, to get him caring about himself and others enough to stop existing and start living. He almost had it with Gonou/Hakkai, but I pulled him from before that friendship could develop.

Gojyo's biggest problem right now is that he's unwilling to face his issues. If something triggers memories of his mother, or brother, or his heritage, etc., his first instinct is to shut down or walk away from the situation because he thinks no one can possibly understand what he's going through. He's only 19 after all. Gojyo even wears his hair long as a daily reminder to himself that even though he's living, it was at the cost of his mother's life, to remind him of blood - her blood and his taboo blood too. He's the kind of person who is more than happy to focus on other people's problems and help them through it, rather than working through this own. If his triggers can be avoided, he will be one of the most fun-loving raucous guys in the room. He will crack jokes, encourage letting loose to have a good time, impropriety, and fending off law-enforcers with gusto. Occasionally, he can pull out witty banter, and sometimes it's just loud cursing, but he's always a vivacious presence in a room when he's in the right mood. Gojyo's just a punk who pushes his luck as far as it'll take him.

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS:
Blood Parents: Gojyo never knew them. He was too young. He also doesn't know that they committed suicide.

Mother: Even at 19, Gojyo doesn't hate her for trying to kill him or taking solace in his brother's arms. He thinks the best of her, that she only did what she could in a really bad circumstance. There's every evidence that his childhood was just as much a barely-making it experience as his young adult life. When she was about to kill him, he reassured himself that if his death made it so she would stop crying, then that was okay. As a result of this traumatic experience, he can't bear the sight of any woman crying, and will come to the defense of one when she's being bullied or taken advantage of in any capacity. For as much as he cusses, you will never hear him use pejoratives relating to female animals (b*tch) or female anatomy (c*nt) for all of these same reasons.

Jien: Typical of younger siblings, Gojyo thinks his brother did no wrong. They might have had some friendly spats as kids, but Jien always took care of him more than Mother ever did, and after all was the one who saved his life. Canon gives no concrete reason for the boys separating, but considering the way they act when they meet, it can't have been on terrible terms. Jien might have convinced Gojyo that it was for the best or somesuch. Regardless, he loves his brother very much.

Banri: The last time Gojyo saw Banri, he was getting chased out of town for banging the mayor's wife. More than anything he's upset at Banri for not looping him into the situation, but the guy always has been more of the criminal mastermind than Gojyo has. At this point, Gojyo still considers him a friend, since he gave Banri grief for all of 5 minutes when he saw him again in canon.

Cho Gonou/Hakkai: Gojyo would recognize Hakkai if he ever showed up, but does not know his name at this point in time and has not spent any time with him yet. They're not even roommates, let alone friends. However, he'll at least be more lukewarm to the guy than the other two who would recognize him...

Son Goku, Genjyo-sanzo, Kanzeon Bosatsu, Kougaiji, Yaone, Lirin, Dr. Nii, Hazel, Gato, etc: At this point in time, Gojyo does not know any of them and will think they are absolutely batshit crazy for implying he should. Gojyo doesn't even have memories of his past life as Kenren to get pings for Goku and Sanzo.

STRENGTH OF HEART MOMENT SUMMARY:
Gojyo found Hakkai/Gonou lying near-dead in the rain and it was definitely kind of him to take the guy back to his place, but it could have ended there. Gojyo is a guy skating barely above the poverty line; he literally lives day to day. For as good a heart as Gojyo has, he never has the opportunity to show it until later on in the series when Sanzo is footing the Ikkou's bills. So really his Strength of Heart Moment is when Gojyo goes out to the human city, looks for a doctor, pays him, and brings the doctor back to his own home. By all accounts this is the first time in a long time - perhaps ever - that Gojyo has done something so incredibly selfless, and without even talking to the guy considering he was unconscious! It can't have been cheap either and surely Gojyo doesn't expect Gonou to ever pay him back.

Therefore, Gojyo will be pulled into Saudade when he gets to the doctor's house and knocks, fully prepared to pay and commit to helping this guy recover. It showcases the best of his selfless behavior, the good heart he has in spite of his childhood, and the moment he breaks out of the drudgery he was born into and on the path to a destiny alongside the other Ikkou.

POWERS
SAMPLE - THE AWAKENING:
Maybe he'd had too much to drink after all? He hadn't blacked out quite this bad in probably years, not since he'd first tasted alcohol. But damn if the falling sensation wasn't one of the realest feelings he'd ever had in a dream.

... Well, that and the rain falling upwards.

"Th' hell is this?" Gojyo gasped as he felt the tiny droplets against his bare feet. As he slowly descended, he realized that his sopping wet clothes were getting steadily dried. His dark jeans were getting a bit of color back in them without the dampness of water, and they were even shifting in the strange breeze, no longer dragging under the combined weight of cloth and rain. Even the sleeveless white shirt that had been clinging to his chest started to billow with his movement. All of a sudden, his toes slipped into warm, dry socks inside of his usual boots, and as soon as his body weight really settled onto both feet, a bright light shone up from the ground. "Bringin' out th' damn sun now too? Shit-" He covered his face and squeezed his eyes shut, but that could not have prepared him for the sight unfolding around him.

His whole body froze. One faceless human woman and one youkai man with jet black hair reclined on the edges of a circle in broad patches of color. In the center of it all, beneath his very feet, was a small child with red hair curled up even as both of their hands reached for the child.

"Not again..."

Wine red eyes scanned the expanse for literally anything else to focus on, since his feet were still seemingly pinned to the spot. Rising out of the floor all at once came three ghostly apparitions, all people facing away from him. It took a moment to realize who they were.

The first was Banri, his scraggly blond hair kept short but his youkai ears plainly visible as a result. He never wore limiters to conceal his nature from humans; he faced them head on, sought them out sometimes even. Banri seemed to be facing a mob of would-be attackers, and was pulling something out from his belt loop underneath of his shirt... ah. A gun. A wry smirk came to Gojyo's face. "Don't see th' guy in months an' first glimpse I get, his ass is in trouble again. Figures."

The second person was someone his age, but also a youkai. His hair was only a bit longer than Banri's, but spiked upwards seemingly naturally. The guy was even lither than Banri though, all lean muscle and maybe not even that... but as Gojyo saw who was on the other side of the young youkai, he knew who it was instantly. There was Mom, tears streaming down her face as usual, but with her hand raised in fury. So the teen was his brother Jien protecting him. Again. Gojyo's eyelids drooped noticeably as he tried to look away, but her expression kept him from that reprieve. Speaking softly and somberly, Gojyo apologized to the spirit stuck in time: "Mom... I'm so sorry..." When his knees threatened to give out, the shadow of his brother seemed to stretch even taller, the angle adjusting so that Gojyo could no longer see his step-mother's face.

Frantic, he did look away at last to the third vision... which felt like a complete let down. There was literally nothing there for all he could tell... if anything there was something beyond the same space that Banri and Jien had occupied and someone else much further off. It felt like a cloud was obscuring his vision, or maybe the same kinds of heat waves that spiraled upward from the street when it was forsakenly hot out. Out of hopeless curiosity, Gojyo took tentative steps toward that vision, finally thinking that maybe the person further out is actually facing him...

He had to squint his eyes and as he did so, his jaw went so slack that the cigarette in his mouth started to slip out. "What th' fuck am I even looking... at... Woah!" Gojyo took a step back in surprise. "It's that guy!" The one who'd looked at him so severely, intent on relishing the bliss of death while so incredibly amused about something. The two of them hadn't even spoken after he went unconscious, yet Gojyo had left for the doctor's so quickly after getting him out of the rain-

Bangs parting, the young man looked up into the pitch above him, glistening with suspended rain. "That's right... Gotta wake up an' get th' doc out to see him."

'Is that how you will approach problems? Inner strength, but outwardly unsteady at times... without a clear picture of what's going on, equally capable of helping or harming? A mystical path.'

"What? Fuck no, I..." He looked at the other two people. "I don't even know the guy. I just- Wait..." His face fell flat. "Why do I even gotta pick anythin'?"

'To help you face the world.'

"I've faced plenty of the world, sweetheart," Gojyo drawled as he inclined his head to the backside of Banri. "An' what I've seen? Ain't nice."

'So you would rather strike first, with courage on the brink of destruction? Lashing out with force as you would brawl in the streets?' Now Gojyo was sure the voice sounded female but also incredibly upper crust. Oh well, he'd already been incredibly crass this whole time. May as well keep himself honest.

"Yeah. Sounds good, why not. Kept me alive this long."

With that, Banri disappeared, leaving Jien and the blurry man.

'Which method will you deny? Defending those most important to you even at a cost to yourself, or...?' The voice had already explained the third option after all.

Gojyo looked back over at his brother and mother, expression gloomy yet again. He didn't take long to think about it at all. "I could never deny what he did for me."

Instead of one or both of the spirits disappearing as he'd expected, the whole floor canted to the right side, completely catching him off guard and eliciting a string of colorful language as he scrambled to the left. No matter how he tried, nothing but smooth glass panes had made up the floor he was trying to grab onto. Instead of screaming his lungs out some more, he lay with his back on the floor and his boots giving as much resistance as he could while he looked up again instead of where he was sliding to.

A flat smile. That was all he could muster. "This doesn't change a damn thing, though."

'It will.'

And as his back started to burn with the skidding sensation of the glass figures - the one human and one youkai, threads of dark fabric started to fly out behind his arms out of absolutely nowhere. He'd given up expecting this dream to make sense though. So when he heard the rustling of a long coat after he had nowhere to fall but back into the Darkness, he really wasn't surprised at all. Gojyo just closed his eyes and waited for the next thing to happen, knowing he was powerless to argue with his half-memory half-dreams.

SPECIAL ABILITIES:
Gojyo chose the Sword and gave up the Staff, making him an Avenger. This grants him a coat to protect against Darkness, as well as retaining his canon physical prowess. He is stronger, faster, and more agile than a normal human, but as of his canon point he has no weapon either. He just uses his raw power behind clenched fists to knock someone out or pin them to the ground using his experience as a street-fighter.

That being said, he is savvy enough to pick up any sort of weapon at this point, since he became quite proficient with his canon weapon in less than 3 years. The fact is that being a hanyou and not a youkai means he's not a top-tier fighter by birth like a superhero or demigod from some other canons. The question is his enthusiasm for picking up a weapon instead of using his bare hands.

The newest canon chapter also hints that if exposed to some sort of Minus Wave (negative energy) equivalent for long enough, Gojyo might begin to express more youkai traits. I will not be taking this into account in game until we know more, but I just wanted to cover that base.

INVENTORY:
Just a pack of Hi-Lite cigarettes in his pocket and a wallet. Other than that, the clothes on his back and a new black coat.

NOTES/ASPIRATIONS
Gojyo is one of my favorite muses to play, but I usually play him from the same spot in the series, at age 23. I've never played him this young and without any of the Ikkou character relationships. I will be interested to see if he grows in the same way with different people around him. Considering the game's focus on building relationships alongside developing powers, neither of which Gojyo has at 19 years old, I am excited about opening him up to the characters in the game, independent of any castmates.

One of the things I love about Gojyo is that as you learn more about the other guys' pasts, you realize Gojyo did a lot of growing already. He dealt with his issues and was the most together, as an adult, all the way up until the Seiten Taisei vs Youkai Hakkai fight. By taking him from age 19, all of those issues are still present. He has no expectations of himself but he has no friends to tell him otherwise, but he's also not suicidal. He really is a Drifter.