Yeah, it's been awhile...

Alrighty then.  It's been, um, maybe years? since I've posted.  I honestly don't know how people with young children manage to have jobs and care for their families and have hobbies AND blog.  Holy cow.  And not AT ALL to say it can't be done and isn't done by you fabulous ladies out there - it's just that the road to finding balance - for me - is always so darn off-balance.  :-)

Catch-up time.  We've got another baby; she's an adorable 4 1/2 months old.  She is a joy and loves to spit up, wake up for feedings, and get really mad if she is not in the midst of the chaos of a large family.  If she even senses that she is alone in a room, she will let you know of her displeasure!  Her name is Aria and she is a gem.

Chronic perfectionist that I am, I am going to lay it all out - I am overwhelmed.  Six kiddos, a part-time job (God is SO good; He made it work that my workload is manageable and not a stressor [much]), and homeschooling?  Oh, and let's not even think about laundry, meals, personal time, personal spiritual growth, healthy eating and exercise, yadda yadda yadda.

God is SO good.  I must not forget that.  But I have to be honest that I am feeling overwhelmed and kind of on my own in this crazy life of mine.  Not really on my own - but sort of, if that makes any sense at all.  There's only one mom here and I'm her.  Yikes.

So, that's why it's been awhile.  And it may be a long while again, or it might not.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  But that's okay.  Because He knows all and He's got my back.

Overheard

Nadia: Kass, can you stop reading books all the time?

Kassia: (silence, nose in book)

Nadia: Kass, I said, can you stop reading books all the time?!  I want to play with you.

Down memory lane with James

This is a question for my mother, who will know the answer from memory (I only know it from photos).

Mom, does this remind you of anyone?

It's February

Can you tell it's February?

I can.  It's the month where homeschoolers (or maybe just me-ha!) start to go a little insane.  We've been inside, weathering the winter illnesses and staying away from chilling winds and blizzard conditions.  We've hunkered down and done our work for months now and the end is still months away.  It's when I start to look for any reason to get out and have a play date even if said play date leaves me exhausted (not used to going out anymore, apparently) and then we end up not getting our planned work done for the day.

Yesterday my husband had to work out of town.  And I knew it would be a late day for him, so I anticipated a long day for me.  And in the morning we had Nadia's Little Flowers group (which was, as usual, AWESOME - and I got to teach this time!), but after just that one activity and the thought of our fridge and pantry looking a little bare as we didn't get groceries as planned over the weekend, I went home from Little Flowers via the McDonald's drive thru (which is very rare for us).

And then we managed to quasi-school and quasi-work and quasi-housekeep and my husband called and I learned he was going to be even later than planned and it was suppertime and there was nothing new the last 5 times I checked the cupboards so I fed the kids graham crackers in milk (like cereal - I love it, actually, but I don't usually give it to them but eat it in front of them because I'm the mom and I get things that they don't) and divided a bag of microwave popcorn amongst them (save James).  To top it off, they got juice, slightly diluted as usual.  And they thought it was a treat!!!  Thank heavens they don't yet see me as too lazy to go to the grocery store.  Or to open a can of soup or feed them something more ____ (insert word here, like substantial or nutritious).

Today we had a playdate and when the littles were napping, I briefly napped on the couch.  And being that we still have the same grocery items here that we had yesterday (we do have plenty of food, I'm just tired of my fallback of noodles of one variety or another), we did open the cans of soup for dinner.

And, no, I'm not expecting, it's just February.  But March is lookin' pretty good.  I'm sure we can make a grocery store run before then and we'll probably have increased our stamina for springtime and schoolwork and play dates and all that.  Oh, and March is the first of the "months of birthdays," so that's something to look forward to, too.  Sort of.  That reminds me that I need to get some gifts!  OK, so maybe March can take it's time coming until I'm ready... 

What happens when you give up chocolate for Lent

When you give up chocolate for Lent (and ice cream), you're going to want some chocolate or ice cream.  When you are diligent in avoiding ice cream, you happen to drive by a frozen yogurt place and have to be strong and remind yourself it's in the same category. When you are diligent in avoiding chocolate, you give all your chocolate snacks to your kids (in reasonable rations, of course).  When you give all your chocolate to your kids, they begin to realize you have much more chocolate in the house than they ever realized.  And when you do your best to keep all chocolate packed away and hidden so that you are not too tempted, then your son James gets the cocoa out of the cupboard and spills it on the floor, leaving the delectable aroma of chocolate floating in the kitchen.  And you have to clean it up and dream about what you could make with it.

Oh, how I miss you my chocolate and ice cream.

Friday Challenge

My challenge today is to treat every interruption as if it were Christ himself needing my attention.  It's going to be difficult, that's for sure.  :-)  But I am hoping it will help me to be more attentive to my little one's needs, even if those needs are very, very little or not needs at all.

I've been trying to spend more time in prayer and it does not come easily for me - first in developing the discipline to set aside time for it, second in the discipline to not let other concerns enter into my mind during prayer, and third in being patient to wait for the fruits of these attempts.

Yesterday I tried praying the rosary along with a recording.  First, I got hung up when the reciter said "blessed are thou among women..." and it kept bugging me because I think that if you're going to use "thou" then you should use "art" instead of "are."  So instead of being focused on praying, I cringed each time I heard the words and tried to mentally speak louder with "blessed art thou."  So ridiculous.

And then the interruptions were no longer from me but from my children.  First it was screeching from one child not getting what they wanted.  Then it was screaming from another who minorly bumped herself.  Then it was the tattling from the self-proclaimed overseer of the time-out chair who had a report for me on the lack of silence from the child on time-out.  Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway - it was not helping me get into prayer or even a prayerful mood.

Eventually I turned off the stereo and said, "Lord, that's all I can do right now; I'll have to try again another time."  Because what good is it for me to try to set an example of prayer for my children that is overwhelmingly full of missteps, distraction and exasperation?  This is one reason why my prayer life leans toward being comatose.

But today is a new day full of it's own issues, and I'll tell you all five of the kids are louder than they should be and I can't seem to tame the tendency of the rising volume and I am praying that we can get my husband's office soundproofed for all our sakes.  And if I am going to be better at prayer and more attentive to my children, I had better get off the computer soon and pray a bit in earnest before the interruptions come.  St. Emmelia, pray for me!  (St. Emmelia homeschooled her 10 children, one of whom was St. Basil the Great)

You're My Friend

So, James' fever turned out to be nothing.  Maybe he had a tooth moving around, maybe it was a 12 hour bug.  Whatever it was, he woke up in the week hours of the morning wanting to make up for his slow morning yesterday and eat, eat, eat.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that guy.  No drippy nose, no diaper rash, no cough or ache or anything other than his determined belief that I must be visible to him at all times.  But I don't regret deciding to stay home yesterday at all.  It was the right call.  Besides, this evening at supper, Luke said he prayed for James to get better yesterday and that he is better and that "It's a miracle!"  And I believe that little prayer probably has a lot more oomph than most of mine.

So today we all got to go to Mass together and it was beautiful.  I don't know why it was so much more wonderful than normal, except that we had a lot of fellowship following Mass, the kids were great (James entertained the people behind me by grabbing and twisting my nose and working to rip off my veil), and Paul and I had been working to make this weekend all about making the most of our time enjoying our family.

One thing that struck me today was how much it meant to hear the words,"You're my friend."  It was kind of silly - I was touching the head of a sleeping 3 month old whose mother and I had organized a few play dates for our kids.  Midway through stroking that downy hair, I realized that this action sometimes bothers people and said, "I hope you don't mind me touching your baby; I just love babies."

And she said, "I don't mind.  Besides, you're my friend."

Maybe it's weird, but I can't even remember the last time I heard those words.  I know I have friends, and I love them dearly.  We tell each other things like, "You are such a good friend" and "I am so thankful for our friendship."  In fact, I was recently blessed by the.most.beautiful card from a friend a couple of weeks back and it is something I will treasure always (along with our friendship; it's really such a blessing to have even one of those kinds of friendships).  But there was something about this proclamation - it's purity and simplicity, the gift that it was...it touched me.


Anyway, that's just a little something that made a difference in my day.  And I hope that I took that little gift and shared it as I cuddled and goofed off with Luke, snuggled Sophia, played chess with Kassia and helped Nadia get her wool hat on just right so that it wasn't scratchy while she played outside.

It was a good, good day.