I name thee Pretendy, and thou are funtimes

[ Where are you right now? What are you up to?

Because whatever you were doing, you're probably now distracted by what appear to be hairline cracks in reality itself. As they widen, you can see infinite eyes peering out at you from the darkness between worlds. There's a heavy, horrifying feeling, like you're witnessing something entirely unholy.

Then just as quickly, there's a flash of light and the horror gaps are replaced by two cute girls. Each girl is holding a stack of papers.

One of them blinks, as if surprised to be seeing anyone else. ]


Oh, hi there! We're probably interrupting, huh? Sorry about that!

just because i can't play in court doesnt mean I wont play in court

 You have been invited! By Santa, well, a Santa. Possibly a combination of Santa-like figures. It's a little fuzzy but your invitation seemed on the up-and-up. You have been invited to take part in the Several-hundred-something-annual Wish Run.

The Holly Maze is several miles wide in any direction, and the path to the center from any of the six entrances would take hours to travel under the best circumstances. But luckily you can see the gargantuan Yule Tree towering over the maze from the center- glittering and glowing and generally just looking like the hugest most badass tree of all time. The grown is lightly dusted with snow, but it is expected to be at least an inch thick by the end of the first day.

Here is what you know:

1) At the center of the maze is the tree, and under the tree are gifts. Anyone who makes it to the center will get a gift, but the sooner you get there, the more magic goes into the creation of your gift. (If you're hoping for money, first place will be getting half a million, a dozen or so people in, you'll be lucky to get a hundred.)

2) There will be OBSTACLES in the way, which will include:

Mistletoe: if you stand under it a kiss is required to leave. Sometimes a peck on the cheek will do. Sometimes not.

Bloodholly: the Organizers would like to remind you that this is NOT "mistlefoe" it has its own name which should be respected. Also you gotta fight if you're under it. Also you'll WANT to fite if you are under it.

Dumb traps: which may snare you, toss you over walls, cause you to constantly jingle everywhere. Etc.

3) There are SIX ENTRANCES no one knows which is best to get to the center. But it also means that you might start alone or you might head into the maze with a few people.

4) SOME POWERS HAVE BEEN NERFED in ways that like im not going to spell out but idk whatever makes it fun

5) YOU HAVE SUPPLIES:
- A Nice Parka
- Warm Boots
- A Backpack
- A BUNCH OF DELICIOUS ELF-MADE MRES
- idk maybe some other stuff if you absolutely must have A Canon Thing then ok i guess

6) NO ONE MAY ENTER THE MAZE WITH WEAPONS BUT THERE ARE WEAPONS TO FIND: (im sorry a crashed tab ate my nice chart, please look at this page to see appearance) 

TWO HANDED: (means u can weild only one at a time)
Candy Cane Whacker - hardwood core with festive candy-striped padding, for save, seasonal bludgeoning
Popgun Rifle - Beautifully crafted, exquisitely accurate.  Peg your opponent between the eyes with little cork pellets at up to 100 paces
Winter Staff - Balsa wood. Can make localized spots of cold, gales of icy wind, or disorienting bells and lights.  its light weigh and poor aerodynamic makes it far less useful for bonking
Slingshot - there is no better way to launch a snowball.  None.

ONE HANDED: (so u can use two at a time)
Wooden Sword - Lighter, but also less blunt than the Candy Cane Whacker
Magic Wand - can make very tiny cold spots and icy gusts
Toy Dagger - Good for putting out eyes and murdering monsters
Bell - It's deep ringing is extremely disorienting to the target.  Getting hit on the head with it is also disorienting, TBH.

7) Throughout the maze are shelters- tiny tiny cottages, some barely large enough for one, some could fit a few if you cuddled tight.  The shelters have a small stove, many fluffy blankets/animal furs, and a cocoa station.  The Cocoa station will have magically-warm carafes of cocoa and coffee, along with cream, sugar, rum, and healing elixir.  YER HEALING ELIXIR CAN BE TAKEN FROM THE SHELTERS, but it only speeds up healing.  It also induces sleepiness and warm feelings of good cheer.

OK GREAT SOUNDS GOOD then the first rays of the sunrise peak over the snow-capped idilic mountains in the distance and the giant festive red ribbons blocking the entrances unravel and THE RACE IS ON.

[ MEANWHILE IN THE MANSION OF SOME RICH TOOLBAG MASTER WHO'S STILL NOT RELEVANT TO THIS SCENE, Caster is sparkling onto a chaise lounge where she sprawls like a pleased cat. Archer, meanwhile is doing his best vs several decades of dust. ]


Wow, you're so hard-working! I'm impressed.