A Son of the Rock

The Parish Church of Saint Martin in Bowness-on-Windermere has in its churchyard a memorial to the Boer War.

The dedication reads, “This cross was erected in the Year of our Lord 1903 in grateful remembrance of the declaration of peace in South Africa and in memory of those who fought and fell for their sovereign and Empire”

The Amazing Mathematics of the World’s Most Watched Object, Princeton University Press, 2025, 130 p, including 4 p Credits, i p Preface, i p Translator’s Note. Translated from the French LA PETITE HISTOIRE DU BALLON DE FOOT, (Odile Jacob, 2023,) by Teresa Lavender Fagan.

The translator’s note at the beginning informs us the history of both names for the game played with the titular object is fascinating but she has chosen to call the game football rather than soccer (as is only proper.) There was only one lapse.

This book could almost have been designed for me A football fan (well, a fan of the Sons of the Rock, so arguably not football) with a scientific background and therefore a grounding in maths. How could a discussion of the mathematics surrounding the football not interest me? Nevertheless it wasn’t a book I sought out; indeed I was unaware of its existence until I unwrapped it as a birthday present.

Amazingly (to me at least, I discovered it in this book) the rules of football state about the construction of the ball only that it must be made of a suitable material – but without specifying what constitutes suitability! (It must also be spherical and lie within a certain circumference and weight range with internal pressure between 1.6 and 2.2 atmospheres at sea level.)

The book starts with the familiar Telstar ball, dating from the 1970 World Cup and containing twelve black pentagonal panels, twenty white hexagons and requiring ninety seams. It is impossible (despite the illustrations on UK road signs which indicate football grounds) to construct a sphere only from hexagons, or indeed solely from pentagons. In this regard the logo for the (so-called) Champions League is incorrect. The actual ball has five-pointed stars surrounding curved hexagons, three stars around each hexagon. The logo, in places, has four.

In terms of geometry the Telstar is in fact a truncated icosahedron (ie one with its points cut off) and then inflated to [near] sphericality. It is also extremely symmetrical, ensuring stability in flight, but the pattern for cutting out the panels is very complicated.

The balls for more recent World Cups are truncated versions of other Platonic solids. Teamgeist (2006) was a truncated octahedron, the Jabulani (2012) a truncated tetrahedron with eight panels which weren’t flat, the Brazuca (2014) a truncated cube! (Albeit that last had curved panels.) 2022’s Al Rihla was based on an icosidodecahedron.

So much for geometry. The other criterion considered here is drag. It is the interaction between drag and gravity that determines a football’s flight. Without drag the ball’s flight would be inherently unpredictable and, due to turbulence, slow down too quickly! The ninety seams on the Telstar ensured sufficient drag. The Jabulani’s fewer seams and relative smoothness made it seemingly erratic. (Drag reduces with smoothness.) French goalkeeper Hugo Loris called the Jabulani a catastrophe. More modern footballs like the Al Rihla, as a close-up photograph demonstrates, are dimpled (in a similar way to golf balls) so as to reduce drag.

This is an excellent book for those interested in both football and maths but I think its explanations, not to mention the copious illustrations and diagrams, are sufficiently clear to pose no barrier to the maths-phobic.

Pedant’s corner:- “The horizon is a straight line” (It isn’t; it’s actually slightly curved,) “the English government” (there is no such thing. [there is a UK government, though],) uses English plurals (rather than Greek) for the Platonic solids.

ParSec 15 is indeed live and I now have my copy.

I found it does contain my reviews of City of All Seasons by Oliver K Langmead and Aliya Whiteley along with The History of the World by Simon Morden but not that of Project Hanuman by Stewart Hotston.

I have four other reviews there though:-

The Measurement Problem by David Whitmarsh,

Halcyon Years by Alastair Reynolds,

Exiles by Mason Coile,

plus Solstice by Ruth Aylett and Greg Michaelson.

One more week, another obituary. This time of the Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir.

The band was primarily known for its live performances and not for its singles. They had a few top 100 hits in the US, though, but never troubled the UK charts.

This was written by Weir.

The Grateful Dead: One More Saturday Night.

Robert Hall Parber (Bob Weir) 16/10/1947 – January 10/1/2026. So it goes.

NewCon Press, 2025, 115 p. Reviewed for ParSec 14.

This was published as a novella but reads more like an assemblage of short stories with characters which cross over from one to the next, though outwith their own tale, usually only in brief appearances. Its background premise – something strange (but unspecified) has happened and people have been advised to remain indoors – may be a literary response to Covid. The setting is a small village in Scotland – locals call it a clachan but incomers have used the description hamlet (which I note is actually a particularly English designation) for so long that it has become more common. The village ‘spinsters,’ however, still frown upon it. Apart from the first, very short, chapter which introduces the strange event, each section is given over to the experiences of different characters, Beth, Polly, Helen, Eve, Robyn and Jeanie, with the novella ending with a sort of epilogue from the point of view someone called the Spaceman.

The stories’ time scales are not always immediately apparent as some chapters start before the strange event or more or less ignore it happening. However, there’s enough oddness going on even without it.

Responding to a voice calling to her, Beth, who has inherited her home from her mother and not improved it in any way, instead letting it run to squalor, manages to move through the pipes in her plumbing, whether by her shrinking or the pipes expanding is moot. Eventually she is drawn down to an underground chamber to chat with the spinsters about the end of the world. The chapters which follow may represent different ways in which that end happens.

Thanks to the green-suited spaceman who appears at her window one night, schoolgirl Polly travels the universe and becomes both a witch and a princess.

Helen begins to produce videos which attract internet followers but increasingly show her lack of control of her life.

To escape the locked down city Eve has come to the cottage she rents out to Matthew (known locally as the Pest.) Not a good choice.

At Helen’s request Robyn builds a doll’s house as an exact replica of Helen’s home but realizes it also needs a doll’s house inside it and then another inside that and so on down.

Jeanie begins to act strangely and eventually locks herself away from everyone. She is however revealed to be a figment, a skin the narrator wore to make her life more amenable. The implication is that all the viewpoint characters are such skins. (But this is the essence of fiction. The reader temporarily becomes – or at least empathises with – a book’s characters.)

The Spaceman is from another world.

The Hamlet has aspects of a fairy tale (but there do not seem to be any happy ever afters, except perhaps for Polly,) has some of the heightened sensibility of magic realism (with a faint echo of John Burnside’s Glister,) moments of horror, and makes a foray into Science Fiction. Whether the disparate elements necessarily cohere into a unified whole is a matter for the individual reader. Corrance can write though.

The following did not appear in the published review.

Pedant’s corner:- “The McIvor’s lived in” (the McIvors lived in,) sat (x 2, sitting, or, seated,) “Mums washing machine” (Mum’s,) “paper mâché” (paper mache:  if its ‘mâché’ then it’s papier mâché,) “it sloped passed me” (past me,) airplane (aeroplane,) “the High-lands” (the Highlands,) curb (kerb.) “‘So where did you learn to cook?’ She asked.” (‘So where did you learn to cook?’ she asked,) “when they played drafts” (draughts,) dollhouse (doll’s house,) “most Saturday’s” (most Saturdays,) “and come pick me up” (come to pick me up,) miniscule (minuscule,) “the little girls’ eyes” (it was only one girl; ‘little girl’s eyes’.)

Just up Lake Road from the Royalty Cinema in Bowness-on-Windermere lies Windermere’s War Memorial, a stone wall with plinth in the centre surmounted by a tapered rectangular column. A laurel wreath and sword of sacrifice are on the front face of the column.

The WW1 inscription on the wall reads “In undying memory of the men who fell in the Great War.” Posts at each end bear WW2 names on the internal panels:-

Central column:-

The plinth contains names for the Great War:-

The external left hand post bears a name from the Korean War 1951. Great War names beyond.

The right hand external post contains a dedication “On active service 1985.” Great War names beyond:-

Second World War Names on internal faces of the posts:-

The Design, Meaning and Symbolism of World Football’s Most Famous Club Badges, Bloomsbury Sport, 2018, 255 p. First published by Pintxo Förlag, Sweden, 2016.

This book does exactly what its subtitle suggests, exploring the history of football club crests (that is what are called badges in the UK) or club emblems used on shirts, programs and stationery.

The contents are divided by country. There are 27 English club emblems discussed in detail, 12 each from Spain, Italy and Germany, 9 from France, 20 from the rest of Europe, 6 US clubs, 3 Australian and 5 South American. The entries give a potted history of the badge and (some of) its variations – many clubs have not kept a history of the changes – that club’s date of founding, its present stadium and capacity, its nicknames plus names of selected historic players, along with illustrations and descriptions of the relevant badge’s evolution.

As an addendum 126 “notable crests” are illustrated with the relevant badge, founding date, stadium and capacity, nicknames and country.

Sadly, despite its historical importance as the first outright winner of the Scottish League* and its badge depicting an elephant with a castle on its back Dumbarton FC’s striking emblem is not included. I note that Coventry City’s badge also has an elephant and castle and is given as one of the notable crests.

Manchester United’s historic players’ list contains Bobby Charlton and George Best but does not include Denis Law (though he appears with Derek Dougan in a photo on the Wolverhampton Wanderers pages) Sunderland’s list misses out Len Shackleton (I know a Mackem whose favourite, oft-repeated, football tale relates to him.)  Tottenham’s omits Danny Blanchflower. I first supposed the author is perhaps too young to be aware of these illustrious forebears but Charlie Buchan is in Sunderland’s list and he predates Shackleton by twenty plus years.

One of Aberdeen’s nicknames – along with ‘the Dons’ and ‘the Reds’ – is said to be ‘the Dandies’. I must confess that I had never heard of this though it does appear on the club’s Wikipedia page.

This is an agreeably idiosyncratic way of discovering something of the histories of the various clubs discussed.

*Neither is that of the first winners of the (English) Football League, Preston North End, though that too is fairly distinctive.

Pedant’s corner:- The author is Swedish and the book’s first publication was in Sweden so it is perfectly understandable that some infelicities should occur. No translator is listed so the author may have performed that function himself.  I noted a misplaced comma, “the claret and blue colours was the main motive” (the claret and blue colours were the main motif,) “the 1997 Champions’ League sinal” (final,) “forceably relegated” (forcibly,) “(1963/640” (1963/64,) “the Ukraine” (just ‘Ukraine’.) Arguabaly (Arguably,) “one star resembles ten titles” (one star represents ten titles.)

Our sojourn to Barrow (see earlier posts) was really to take a look at stuff in the Lake District, whose main town is Bowness-on-Windermere.

Among others of Bowness’s sights I found the Royalty Cinema, which has Art Deco touches in the white painting and horizontal bands but also feels a bit Edwardian. It was opened in 1927 and so is on the cusp.

Or at least it ought to be.

The publication date was yesterday.

I’ve not accessed my copy yet but this one should contain my reviews of:-

City of All Seasons by Oliver K Langmead and Aliya Whiteley

The History of the World by Simon Morden

Project Hanuman by Stewart Hotston

Those reviews will appear here in due course.

From my familiarity with it on radio play I would have thought that this had been a hit in the UK but it seems it wasn’t. In fact only one of Seger’s songs ever made the UK top 30 and that We’ve Got Tonight was as a reissue – in 1994.

Anyway this is a superbly accomplished piece of popular song writing and performance.

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band: Mainstreet