Art is blooming online. This is what I wanted, and I hope to be part of it. What have I been doing? Valiantly trying to grow in art and photo between job sessions and outside work. This year's leaves have peeped their way in. I kept up until the last few days which have been hell. I'm out raking in snow and trying to drag the stuff to the end of the driveway. I'm a rebel. I don't drag my stuff to the area right by the street for pickup, I make a pile at the end of my driveway and stomp on it, like a vat of grapes (I Love Lucy rerun, where I learned this) to get it down flat, and I keep doing this. Then I erect a small fence on either side of the drive. They still have room to come in to the drive to shift the leaves to the street for pickup. I do this because I do not like the slight tracking on the yard, when the leaves sit right by the street. I hope this keeps working. I checked twice yesterday, and before, to see if this was alright again, this year. It was. Hence I was raking and blowing leaves ALL DAY to make sure when the final DROP came there was not an over burden of leaves to take care of. I have a tree which is going to drop, and one that will probably drop in Dec!! Always fun to rake then, if I do at all. I wish I had help in this, it is really a two man job. I still have more to do. They drop on the roof and stick to the roof, and the leaves are thick in the eves. It's been raining and is said to stop. I hope it does. This is not a fun time, although I love being out...but I got no tree color shots because of it.
I've decided to keep another diary (if I can find one that is public) and write in it when I'd like to write thoughts or something...and keep writing in this one sometimes. I'll give you the address when I get it set up. I can't find one yet that takes pictures. I can't be picky if I want to get this set up. I hope you can get to it. If not maybe there will be another way. Not that I am so popular a journal keeper. I will post in Live Journal also sometimes. I'm missing posts and thoughts, if I don't do this. Please know that I'm not stopping Live Journal because I like Russians, or the Russian Astronauts I've seen on television. But I have never been, and could in the past hardly afford to travel to Russia. (And there are other people from other countries posting in Live Journal.) In not being to the country I can't tell where the foot fall is with all the public and private people. I tend to like my Russian tendencies, but that is only what I have to go on. Being an artist I can't see beyond that. I do have an American foot fall, and I am generally happy here. And I like my Russian and other tendencies. But if America is widely hated or less liked by Russia, I don't really know it, and no one else that I trust 100% is talking to me, so I would believe it. If that is so, I am sorry I have not left yet. But Russians are people just like everyone else on the planet and I find it really hard to believe they hate us that much. I don't write in the diary that much and someone in Russia may find it entertaining to find out what one American is doing and feeling. So this is the only thing I can think of to do. I hope you can get to the site once I get it set up. If Live Journal closes in the future, just boot me out. I can find another blog/journal/diary and place to post my photos. Unless the Internet goes out. Thanks for reading this! Maybe I won't change it.
Wish I could have been over there, so I could draw my own conclusions. The new war in Israel. Is it real, set up for real reasons, or both?? Is over population a reason...for both sides? Was really surprised, but I keep tabs on the news because this is an unstable, or seems to be, time to live in. I'm scared, it scares me, I'm scared it will grow. Life is somewhat more peaceful here. Sometimes. It's been raining off and on, so I have been kept busy this summer mowing again. And that means much other work I must do, everytime I mow. So it has been a lift when I want to photo or draw. The last two weeks, when I work at my part time job, there has been perfect photo weather. It's hell when I walk out and watch a beautiful sunrise and day and have to be there tied down. I'd like to quit, but it's a good job. Why do I have to have a "job!" Why can't it be art? I did go out this morning and got some great landscape shots. They will be tricky to process because there was beautiful reddish sun, mist, and deep color of the deep morning cloud bank and low sunbeams spilling on deeper fall color of the trees. We have had rain and rain. I got the sky just the right (dark blue+grey), but the darker colored tree breaks - some may need lightening. To see it meshed like I did! Some pics are too dark. Probably because I forgot my exposure compensation was set to -4 stops. Sounds bad, but the perfect ex comp was -3. And I finally checked it.
I was trying to revamp supplies in a nearby city. While trying to eat dinner in shaded car, I thought I heard on the radio that Queen Elizabeth had died! Did I hear it? Which Elizabeth? Who? They were so offhand!!! No No let it not be. No No this can't be...who was it? Who was...Then it was her. Right away again, like background... The queen of England has died. The queen has died. Oh No! It was her ... It was her, that's what he said. No, I don't want to believe it but he kept talking. I never met her! I wanted to met her! So sudden that day. I was just eating dinner in a car having a nice time getting away. I felt so guilty, but how can I get over there and meet the Queen! I could get over there, but I wouldn't be meeting the Queen.
I'm a royal watcher, my grandmother was and probably my mother I've watched her all my life on TV. Watched the kids when they were still kind of kids. Most younger people don't know. The Queen, her mother and sister were always on TV for openings, speeches, travel work, and many other things in the line of duty. Always on TV in the news. Far more than now. You couldn't tell Queen Elizabeth from her sister! Her mother and Prince Philip were sometimes there also. The royals got covered so much. More then than years of late. The Internet does a lot better job of this today I think. That is why I know that she was a tireless worker. And not just for years. She was there all the time. Until she got much older. I can't quite get used to Charles as King. Everyone wondered when is he going to get married. But he did and along the way I noticed an in depth understanding about the world in what he said and did. I'm sure he will be an unbelievably great king.
The Queen as she grew older reminded me so much of my own mother who had passed away by then. I couldn't believe it! My mother was never interested in politics or government, like the Queen was. As far as my mother was concerned the government was mostly tax. Washington was full of fat cats who grew richer off the working class. Father too probably. But with that aside, they (Mother & Queen) were very much the same in immediate everyday life. I think they were related. I really do. Their mannerisms and expression was really the same sometimes. Really! I wouldn't be surprised if I was related to the Queen. My mother is too close a split. The Queen's mother even reminded me of my grandmother! (Mother's mother)
So even though my mother was dead (and I miss my parents so much). I could be with my mother again in dreams and when I saw the Queen. It was like parts of my mother again. All my mother's generation was alive again and I would feel whole.
It was so sudden. I guess everyone thought because she was so strong, steadfast, and loving that she would never die, as she was always there and always had been. Many probably thought she would be bedridden before she died. She got that cottage mansion and people were thinking, as I, she would spend some years there in retirement. She did walk with a cane of late and had been looking less healthy. How is anyone to know. TV is sometimes a show! One actor looks like he is really aging and you see him again later and he looks very young again! There are some many drugs around for so many things.
I'm glad she died in Scotland at Balmoral Castle. Her mother was Scottish decent. Also her father...I think. I wish I had met her. So many people who have shaped my life through television and have come and gone. They are all gone and I will never have a chance to thank them or meet them. Maybe in Heaven. But isn't it all to get you to reconnect with them through a new person? Then it's like they have never left and you and your parents are all there again. Even though your parents are dead. They are not dead. Their spirits really live with you and your loved ones. You are not parted from your parents and they are not parted from you.
But I was really shaken up about this, and selfishly, for a time, saw it as another burden I have to bear. When I should be thinking about the Queen. But I'm sure she is in Heaven with her family and God. But it does feel empty and I hope I can find people who reflect her and my parents. And I pray that the Queen is happy reunited with her past family and is once again surrounded by love. It is going to take me a long time to adjust to this. Her comforting directing voice will be lost. And it will be an empty world. And this will go on and on. But someone, or many voices will ring with truth again. So we really haven't lost her. She still lives on and is really alive through other people. We worry so much about the dead. Maybe they are really here in spirit, happy, and it is we, that should be worried about, when we feel so bad about them. God Bless the Queen a million times. A million times. History should really remember her. With film future people can love her. I don't know what to make of this except watch as much TV coverage I can on it. She was really a kind of a mother to many people. And many will miss her presence and wish for the sound of her voice and the truths she spoke to everyone. Truth and love can come through anyone, and they are royal. And Elizabeth will be speaking. And maybe really speaking to everyone. Through everyone's thoughts and voices. Maybe she is REALLY still here. You don't know. I hope she is. I hope all our friends and family who are gone, are really still here, loving us in spirit form. Wouldn't that be something! So I want to go on remembering her...it is a sad time and she hopes we all perk up maybe. I'm glad I can watch the funeral.
FINE ART ROOTS
Generally, growing up, I thought fine art kind of developed when art did. Art was free and art developed. Didn't think anymore about it. But I'm out in nature so much! 3/4 of the year! I'm looking down and I'm looking up. It's unreal, even if you do look up, the amount of scanning and looking past things in a deep and discerning way is mandatory, you have to protect yourself. You have to look and listen for fine things. Approaching beehive, rattlesnake, a deer. Leaves, grass, trees, foliage, shadow combinations. So fine and always new and ever changing. Invisible variations! You have to scan all the time! This is the finest fine I have ever known and you can't pigeonhole or dismiss it. Always new, always changing. Peering continually into this web. This really is the root of fine art, I think. Our distant ancestors had to know this. Intelligent perception. Their life depended on it. While walking or a few steps, your faced with a whole new surrounding environment. You only see bits and pieces. They had to look deep! Hear deep! Or they could be attacked at any time. Group dynamics was good. So I think all this looking for fine things and into fine things was the way fine perception stayed with us. Nature is the king of fine. You can't just perceive nature as a calendar picture. You have to look way past that and into super subtleties hidden within it. For instance, there is a color of a deer - it is unique. It may be light, it may be dark. But that is it! If I am scanning and I see it, I jump, because hidden way there, is a deer! Tracks and track condition, this all is fine art. Where it came from. And it's all very hidden, very subtle.
Art, or fine art has done a good job of keeping this alive for people, who now, mostly live in cities, where mostly nothing visual, or hear wise, is very fine. People don't know how fine an enviornment we came from. We had to look and listen for plants and animals to eat, or be eaten by them! It's amazing how total fine art nature is. Total fine art! the finest you can imagine. And they had, and you have, to keep adding it up seriously as you move along in it. It's no wonder we have good eyes and ears out of evolution. Nature is the king of subtle.
A funny footnote of this...I keep seeing these strange faces and beings in the backgrounds of my nature pictures! Strange vestiges looking back at you! No I am not nuts! If you keep looking into these "backgrounds," you will see that this is not a face, but a juxtaposition of leaves, stalks, and backgrounds with more growing elements. All intertwined just right to look like a face when you stand back! I could make a living, fishing these out, arting them up, and selling it to the movie industry. I'm sure this has been done before! I'm wondering if our past ancestors saw the same thing and came up with the belief in elves, fairies, leprechauns, pixies, etc...:) Magic, beauty, mischief-makers, evil spirits, seduction, hidden fauns, dancing over medows on misty mornings. It cracks me up. "hidden people," I wonder. This was a whole realm for our ancestors! Tales were told, sights were seen, oddities were blamed to elves! This certainly could be a root for these beliefs! We see them in books and TV today! If I had more time I could put in a picture of what I am talking about. Sorry I can't do this so far, drawing and fall photos can't wait. Maybe sometime. I hope to because this is funny and interesting-cute!
I've been in and out taking pictures some days. The insects have hushed, but not all, but some of the flowers have been hanging on. Trying for frost, but not too much. This morning had some. Flowers take, but dying and drying is not a sure thing. I just hate it when I take subject matter and the background looks better. In drag! It has something to do with distance and apreture and focus, sometimes you can see it and sometimes you can't. But I really don't know how much distance with ap and focus. I use my depth of field preview sometimes. Pictures of object matter in the fall is harder, I delete more. I'm keeping up sometimes with taking a second picture with more depth so some of the more in focus points could be edited into the shallow depth picture version. It probably only amounts to pixel points, but the real thing is there. But I don't know how much they, or professional editing, that no one knows about, (if that exists) can do. Can they correct focus? Can they correct subject motion? There is editing for camera shake, and some lens or cameras have that built in.
I've had nothing but bad weather. The wind has not stopped around here, paired with straight sun. Also I have gotten a new lens, not as expensive, but labeled a "speciality lens." This takes time to get used to, esp. since it has no auto focus ect... I didn't use it this summer. But I'm getting to know it better and liking some of the things it can do! And the dammed thing can take landscapes just as well! So a few days ago I came to the realization that I had to let up on fall photos and get it on with the leaves. I got out there and dutifully raked and blew all the standing leaves. Then mowed. Then got the leaves blown off the roof and eves. Everything looked neat as a pin. I did this because it was going to rain the next day. And I didn't think what would happen! I got up the next morning and it was like I hadn't touched the lawn at all! Rain just dumped a ton of leaves on the yard and roof. I raked and got piles going but had to stop and rest yesterday. Like I said I got some photos this morning, but I still have leaf piles to clean up. I'm glad I like being outside so much or I would never do as good as I do with the lawn. The only saving grace is that, as I wrote before, our last big tree in the front is gone, and I don't have to rake it's leaves. I'm doing some art stuff, but I have gotten no pictures up in here. My photo cross index is still not running. But the livingroom is cleaned up from dust...and that includes sucking my teddy bear collection from dust. They look so cute, and clean, all together on the lion's paw dinning table that Father refinished for the livingroom. There is a pile of unwashed dishes in the sink, and that is not like me, but outside work has gotten in the way, and there is something in the water, (etc?) So I've got to change from my photo clothes into my outside work clothes and then I won't have enough energy after working to clean up the inside walkways.
Why some of the world's problems? Outcome, trying to get the US to sit back some? I don't know? Maybe to help out more the third world countries? I don't know. Maybe I would benifit a bit more? I don't know. If anyone tries to explain this to me, I don't know how much I would believe. But it chages all the time. I'm tired of things in food and water sometimes. Why Why Why? I really don't know why there are as many problems as there are. Everyone is dressed, fed, and walking around. Who are the ones in trouble? The poorer nations? Why fight when the poorer nations take all the brunt? Or do they cause things? I don't know. Maybe it's all a safety net.
I don't think I'm am going to vote today, my kidneys hurt from the same things being put in food and water. No one ackowledges it and I'm not married. But maybe I should vote. Unable to decide on this. I am wearing a white belt. Someone does not know 100% if this is just irratation, they never will know.
On the flip side, I have been really working on leaves. My last back tree still has some to fall. So far the roof is clean, so far, but I'm sure the weather can be altered. Barring leaves blowing into the yard from others, I will just have the back to do. I left my stick pile and they can't pick it up at this point. This call was a victim to food adds, raking, work and weakness from it. So I had to deal with that pile yesterday plus more and my kidneys hurt this morning. If I want to mow again I will have to take out the battery, warm it up, and that just invites more leaf blowing. You can't keep blown leaves out of your yard during the winter, even without scriped wearher, I guess! I don't pay attention to things like that. I want to think about running the house, work, art, photography, eating, resting, reading, or online. But your not supplose to do these things, esp. art! you have to do just what everyone around you is doing! And that is not in the Constitution, it's every person's individual endevors are protected, if not hurting others. And this does not cover others wishing they could and trying to stop yours, if it is in their means to plan this into their life too. So I hope to have happier news, but I doubt it, it is holiday season and that is the worst time of the year. Things will not get back to normal until after New Years! Sorry if there are words not spelled right, I don't have time to correct them.
I finally had a day to draw, but my kidneys still hurt. I went somewhere the last time, but it's a nightmare. Today was one of these drawings I have to erase more than usual on because I really don't have 100% internal view of how, what I am doing, will begin to look. I've managed to avoid one of these for a while. I don't why. I use masks to preview as I go. Just slabs of tone, big and small. Maybe that's it. This need to work faster gets underway. . But I'm choosing, jumping in and willing totake chances. It's almost crushing. But I don't see what is next. It just has to be next:)
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
I was a Playboy bunny on stage for Band Bust in 1969! Not naked! I don't feel good. The stuff is still in the food. My kidneys hurt. Just because I like art and want to be with like friends. Everyone puts their pictures up. I don't know if I don't know! I don't know if this food add is all over. As far as I drove, it was beginning to lessen, when I went, days and days ago. Yard work is finished. So what.
It is Winter Solstice TODAY! The Sun is COMING BACK! Wonderful! And to those who love winter, you still have half to go! Very important ot our ancestors, who evolved to recognize Winter Solstice...when to plant in the spring, and when they could use some of their winter foodstuffs to put on some weight!...midway through the winter! I wonder how many times they were caught up in this, as the second half of the winter was worse than the first! But winter is half over! And I think Winter Solstice is so close to Christmas, the two should be celebrated together!
I had to work through the storm so I couldn't go surfing... in the snow. Meaning walking in the super cold and very very very wind. Feels just like surfing! But this time might not have been so uplifting. And I didn't feel good because stuff is still in the food. But it was beautiful, if not scary.
1/6/2023 While passing through a woods I saw a bunch of Robins. Everyone said when I was a kid that they migrated south. Well apparently they don't. The stuff is still in the food. I have done nothing but sleep. I know this poison is a ploy to stop me from doing artwork and photography, while so minor it doesn't affect others who are less translucent. Something is going to come up to make me work more on my job for bills. And someone is going to suggest that I get married and use his medical. One way or another I won't get a new camera when I need one, or through community property, I lose my house. There are probably many ways to do this. If anyone suggests that I'm mentally ill for taking pictures and not being afraid of someone, I will lose it that way. I really don't want to live here anymore. It's one problem after another. One roadblock after another. Filling up my time, so I can't do what I'm supposed to be doing and like doing. And without one friend that is really like me, I'm nowhere. I don't want to be a star. I don't want to be a minor star. I don't want anyone to be a star. I wish, like I've already said in here, that everyone could be in a group, maybe a large group, and be noted that way. I'm tired of being abused. I'm going to have to do something. I don't know what. Because everyone around me will say there is nothing in the food, even the doctor. That's how it happened before. I don't know where to go. Sorry to be so unhappy in this entry. I'd hope to put some pics and drawings in. Don't know what to do. Can't catch my breath. Can't eat without pain in the kidneys and I'm sick of it. And I don't know what to do, and I don't trust many people. Maybe it will get better.
More of same...Haven't written in here in awhile. There is something in the food and it really irritated and hurt my kidneys. I haven't been able to do anything. All through Thanksgiving and Christmas. It got better, and now I don't know. This morning I tried a drawing, but I'm afraid the food is coming back. I'm sick of drawing teddy bears, but that is the best for getting looser. I want to mix paint in, I have been, but I don't know how to do bolder. I'm writing this now because I don't know when I will get back. I found this ring light on sale, don't know, but I thought it could maybe light drawings for photos. I don't know though, if you knew how cheap on sale it was. I need to get it on first. I'm getting something else together. The food trys are pushing it, but I've just managed to keep that generalized. I date everything and throw out some. That's all for now.
Well I guess that's really all for now. I can't renew my custom user head. In a few days, if I don't, the whole account reverts to standard and, I guess, I can't post pictures in here. I've been trying to renew my custom user head and my Live Journal Pro package tonight, but it will still not do either. I have no tokens. I thought those were kind of weird. Now I see they can be rainy day insurance, like this Russian war and credit card sanctions. I have no tokens and you have to buy them too! I tend to be a snot about things like tokens. I hope I can get myself more grounded and feel more love and understanding about things like that. It's a purely innocent way of buying and trading things for you or your friends, plus insurance. There is so much love in it. I hope I can shed more of this built in fast forward shit. I have gotten rid of so much of it.
I can write in here, I think, but no pictures. I guess I will have to get the address of some other image hosting site and you can go there to see new pictures. Can't think of anything else. If that will work, and for how long. The stuff in food is laying there, every new food shop is fear city. I've been in the house, but working on something else. I can report in the future when it's done. I'm perfectly happy working on this, but never think it will take so long with so much work. I worry about other people who don't like the weather, or the winter. They feel that they are closed in with nowhere to go and nothing to see. The winter blues, because I don't get them. But these other people seem to get the most out of summer, while I still tend to stay inside and draw, unless I'm out taking photos. I just can't believe I am going to lose pictures in here. And for how long? This war is going on - I don't know how long. And I tell you, I don't want to be stuck with this pink background. All I can think is take the background image address out and it will then revert auto to the pre-setup background color. But I will then, never get another background in. Maybe I should change the background now. Enjoy the pink. Nothing will be harder than picking out a background that will be in here for years. My journal is not going to revert until the date of subscription run out, so I guess I can keep this pink until after Valentine's Day. :)
Sorry I have not been here for awhile. More writing sometime soon.
I have not found another board yet. I don't know anything about background politics of countries, I never have.
Everyone is eating. Man does not live by bread alone. Who is getting what, or who is doing, or not doing what? How important are certain things, or are they very important. The enviornment? I just don't know anything, and I'm not good at picking up basics alone, from around me. These kind of things can cause fundamental disagreement. The Russian form is very strong, but what they are doing (war) I do not understand. I have never traveled anywhere in the world except one small trip in Canada. Even in the US, so I don't know fully what people are like anywhere. Television can get you just so much. Much is set up on TV because it has to be. It is not like walking through real towns or being in grocery stores, where you are around many more people. Then you could come closer to all types of people, including the government, from that country. I just know, as long as people are eating and being taken care of, why fight? But that doesn't take into consideration other things sometimes. One is the fear of collapse of the above. So what would be deemed "collapse?" And to who? And why? Or the lack of certain things sometimes. Or do some people just want to take over? You can't know these things unless you know fully the base from which it comes. So I am still here until I can find another place. I'm not going to close this board, just start another. I would leave the address to the new one. Can't think of anything else to do. I feel very very sorry for Ukraine and I don't know why this has to happen to them. Why does this have to happen at all? There should be no war! But there is.
Have not found another board yet. Quick. I'm trying. I have one in mind, but have questions and no time. Right now it is taxes, paying bills, this entry, washing clothes (my washer didn't run it's spin cycle???) More research into replacement supplies...everything, it seems, is not being carried anymore. Brush pile cleanup and leaves...winter is still on! Getting a new phone and all the hangups that goes with this! And I want to edit a photo and search for more, but putting them here, I don't know at this time. I'm searching for a new site, like LiveJouranl. I'll keep Live Journal. Maybe some agreement will be reached with the war in Ukraine and I can come back. I will name the new site, if I get it, so anyone reading this can look in at me. But I will still be writing, a bit in here, to keep LiveJournal active. So you would have two sites to spy on, or read. I hope this works.
Finding another site is going to be harder than I thought. I don't understand what they are saying. I'm reaching out elsewhere. Not as easy as getting into LiveJournal.
I guess I'm okay here for now. Thankful for that.
PUT YOUR WINDOW SCREENS IN!
I did a really dumb thing this fall and I think a lot of people, younger and older, could benefit from this. Even city dwellers.
I must have had a bug loose in my bedroom and I took my window screen out and opened the window a crack so he could find his way out! I put the screen to the side of the window and forgot about it. Then it was winter and bugs were gone. I didn't put it back in. Maybe to have a quick way out! I think I am getting old, and thin perceptions of danger have ebbed away! I left the screen off. I closed the window when I left the house and when I went to work. Otherwise it wasn't open, but often had it cracked, (or more) thru the night, because things, sometimes, are still coming thru the gas heating register below...even though its covered. (I've talked about this before.) Of course the colder it gets the less you have to open a window for outside air to get in. So this spring, I'm aware of birds there. (I have a thick line shrubbery across that side, and I would sometimes hear birds. Even in the winter.) I knew it was getting warmer and I did spy one small insect flyer in my room. I was lying there two nights ago thinking of how I needed to get the screen back in, and I thought, as open as the window was, a bird could get in! Most of that window is also covered with newspaper for insulation, but a side is partially open. Thinking of the bird, and they all have different personalities, and are tired of winter and looking for places to nest... So what if one got in while I was asleep!!! HE COULD PECK MY EYES OUT!!!!!!!!! Nice little vitamin E!!!! I put the screen back up in my leggings. I hope the neighbors didn't see! And this can happen, birds will peck eyes out! And thats not all...cats, dogs, fox, racoons, snakes, bats, rats, mice, scorpions, lizards...the list goes on, even a deer could stick his nose thru to get something to chew ...even a person might be able to get in!!!! [You have to make noise to get a window screen cut, but if it's out!] Even in your skyscraper a bird could get in. If your baby or child, or you, are sleeping in that room - it's just the silent creature and what he wants to do, once he is in, which will decide your kid's fate. Better to have screens in! City people have other dangers, like the sewers and toilets, but something like this could happen. So my screens are back in, and birds are still coming around, but they will not be able to get in.
Just thought this was an important note. I know someone out there has, or is doing this right now. We are all safe in our homes, but it is a whole other world with the animals at night. They are happy in their freedom, but don't be their victim, they can be supreme entrance artists!! And there is always the smell of food.
Time just flys by! I got yard stick piles picked up plus yard sticks etc, and some leaves, but I paid for this for at least three days of nothing. That's not like me. I guess it was after the kitchen floor clean. Then I cleaned the outside of the Refrigerator. Today I got the bathroom floor done and washes. I really have to decide not to do stuff, if I want to do art...or write in here. I guess the city picks up again in May. I've got more leaves, but don't want to junk up the drive with leaves yet. The weather is lifting! It was 60 degrees F yesterday! I had to rest. I got some different pics of my Teddy Bears using crystals. They turned out. I tried to copy some bear drawings. I hope I can get back to drawing after all this cleaning!
They are looser. Just wanted to update. Some people can do this right away, even more so. Some have to work. If you have to work, it will become looser. But I think my lines is where I'm going, like the ones in the background picture. I love to do these other things, but my mode of attack is always changing underneath, the more I draw. I am going to try and look into getting another site, but with yardwork and spring inside cleaning, my job, and others, I'm losing time. But there is always hope!
When you want to switch to something (media or media combination) you know you will not be good at (HA!) go ahead! Don't get put down by it, go ahead to go back and again to something in your prefered media and then go back and play in the new media. I'm going to try watercolor. I can't yet do color anyway, but thought I would stick to grey/black. Later I'll try color. I won't be good in this, but some compositions can be so simple. I need to get my feet wet and make a mess. You would be better for this. Esp. if your curious about mixed media. But of course I have to clean out the back of the house from leaves today, and other downer things going on. Watercolor has the most steps you must follow of any media I have encountered. With other painting you can paint over, but not always with watercolor. I have picked up a few ways of doing things. I have no real artist watercolors, should be a gas.
Fine morning. Things that should take no time at all, take years, and things can take up time, do not take up any. I was out photoing in backyard, and took another approach, and I got better pictures! Now I've got one thing yet before drawing. Great day! Sun & Spring! If something happens to this journal, look for some form of Jasperita and I'll tell you I was Jasperita at Live Journal, or one of them. Michigan and photo of Log Cabin and Storm Horses Picture. Teddy Bear drawings. How I got going in drawing. If I can run photos there, I will run some of my past photos.
I have some new photos, not here, I'm working on this, I didn't think there was two of the same. With the front tree blown over last summer the dandylions have started to take over the front yard. Years ago I got the back. I have been pulling them this week with the fork tool. My dad's old weed puller. I got all the visible dandylions in front. And I didn't feel great yesterday. I don't like the weed killers. Now I am suppost to be jotting down notes to get a new mower battery up and running and I'm on the Internet, something that is so easy to do!
5-17-2023 I was going to write in here, but the build-up lace in food & water is getting to me. Right when the yard is in hand, the food keeps me from working on photos and art! This can not keep going! (I got more to do than the yard!) I finally am getting the yard though. The dandelions I have forked out of the ground, and the weightless seed spheres I have picked. It went on for a few days. My back is so tired, I can't believe it. I was up this morning to take a few pictures, but slept the rest of the day. The mower battery is another. The new one didn't seem as strong as past. A real slight slight difference. I charged it and the mower started and I mowed all the long grass for the first time, but thought that after a few days I better mow again because I'm not sure the battery would start! It did. Now I'm wondering that after the usual time-lapse between mowings, will it start a third time? I would have liked to get the bush trees cut and fallen screens up, but I couldn't make it. I had to sleep. I started to review the photos I had taken and couldn't finish that because I was not sure on what to delete, (I'm so tired) and that never happens. (Sorry, for the people out there that rightly say I should be reviewing the photos on a computer screen, not my camera.) I just don't have the time. Anyway, there will be dandelions in the front yard next spring, but not a sea. The front tree falling really let sun in. I got all the big ones, and their seeds. Next year there will be another pass, but it will get easier. I don't believe the backyard! I have hardly a dandelion there because of pulling!
I have decided to get a big bag for camera extras, if I can safely store them. I'm still learning photography and I would like to keep all my side stuff in one bag, so I know where it is. I can't believe I'm remembering to use these! Storing in my camera cases (I have two) is not making it, because the stuff keeps moving around from one bag to the other. I got so mad I couldn't find my pop-up diffuser. I lose so many things, not just camera equipment. It happens all the time. I spend a goodly time searching for lost items. Most of the time I find these things, but looking takes time. I should be glad I find most of it. Putting something on your lap while driving is not a good idea, because when you get out of the car, it drops to the ground! I've found more stuff down on the sides of the car floor than I can say. I've lost stuff forever too. A camera battery, and quick release plate. Pockets in clothing or coats is another good place to look.
Post Script...
I think history will speak of people who wanted and tried to live together. This is not cheerleading (which is not bad). Not like in way past when some people could care way less and wanted to be way seperate. I think we do change a slight bit, from generation to generation. My opinion. It's hard to know about anything without knowing about it. Feeling it out might work sometimes too, a bit. I don't know.
It's really heated up. We had rain, but for a very long time straight sun, no clouds. Remember I lost the last tree in the front...last summer? Sorry to involved in art, photo, and house, job to remember exactly that. I had to have the stump grinded and they wanted extra money to haul the pile of sawdust and soil. I broke my back yesterday putting the pile of dust & soil into bags to take to the land fill, or what ever they call it. I did make a dent in the pile. A big one. I imagine I will have 1-2 more goes at that. I can't carry the stump pieces. Tried to save baby trees growing right by stump, but not having much luck, with all the work I am putting into it. I've had a lot of extra work this year with all this. I haven't gotten to the sidewalk and garage floor yet. I may have to forgo the eves this year. There are other things that need doing. Tried to wash my car and got water with wax!! It's been so hot and so much work I have not going out to photo like I had been doing. I have been making up combos of 6-5 pictures per picture in an editing program. I've got them up. Not standouts but you don't always get standouts. It would be nice to see photographer's holding folders or contact sheets. To see their "almosts." And some "almosts" are better than others! I really don't know where to jump to next. Can't do anymore yard work until after work days. I'm getting ready to reinstate my photo cataloging program after the hard drive failure. I'm trying to ready myself for it not to work. I really worked at that, for years of understanding and the years I worked in it. It may be all recoverable, but not for me now. I guess I'll just have to contine my Index of folders. But I won't be able to keyword photos, unless it's with my camera's program... That is another big worry. I'm just going to have to face it. One double click, and a few other tries and it's a yes or no. Maybe the board can help. And another worry...with virtually no one person I can talk to that knows about this and really knows deeply about it, politics and all. I'm worried if I have to go on subscription, they will be able to see exactly what I am doing and how I am doing it and then mess up my editing program! It's problem after problem and I'm getting tired of problems. And it will be a time consuming and expensive problem to push back on this. I don't live just to eat. I see to and take care of eating, because it funds all I want to do, but I don't live to just eat. So I still can photo and do artwork, if my back is not broke from labor. And it always is. Hope for rain. Our springs are so green here, but summer comes and tan edges in. Need to get out.
6-26-2023 I got out some. June 21, my mom's birthday, was a great b-day for both of us. I felt like my mom...she was with me. (She's passed) And that was the day my photo cataloging program came back. That one double click!!! It was a wonderful day. I felt golden. Stump grinding sacks are all picked up. I saved $100 by doing myself. Dandelions are forked out of front...first pass this year. The heat set in and I'm trying to keep some small trees living by the downed old one alive. I don't know. Work is everywhere. I'm putting together combined photos which I love and have yet to investigate another timesaving plug-in for my cataloging program. I'm scared to pay for it. Whether I can start from a specific number and have a sequential number from that I don't know. It's too slow to do Caption numbers by hand. I'm thinking of just putting the Captions in and leaving numbering them for some other time. With that I can make more time. I REALLY wish I had more money so I could work outside in the summer. But I am being happy with taking shots. I'll have to try and draw out there. I have one deer trying to scare me out of one place. I need a dog, but I can not swing that too with all my equipment. I like my combined pictures. Tomorrow is maybe photos, plug-in study, bottles and trimming the front growup around stump hole. I got the roof blown and most eve cleaning done. Places need to be washed. I really need to get the front bushes trimmed. I'm getting a quote. But as the last was $700, I know this one will also be too high. Their getting wider and it get harder to do this myself. Dam things are growing to be towers on the end and wet snow comes and bends them to the ground, they need to be cut and tired together. I would liked to have given a white wash to the back, but I don't think I will have enough time. I would like to travel, but I don't know how I would pick out one trip. I love art.
Been outside some. Beginning to get the yard in control. The scrubs are next. But outside work takes a back seat to outside photos.... Wanted to sketch outside this summer! I can just see me deep into drawing and a deer nose comes down! They are thick! I've been real tired too. It seems it costs so much money even to eat. There are things I have missed to date. I still haven't made it to the graves. I've been taking many pictures and deleting more too. Also I am putting together multiple pictures for viewing online. I'm looking for another place to put them. Haven't found anything. Sleep and rest are the ticket. It's wonderful to be outside. Miss my parents every day. I wish summer would never end, it goes so fast. I don't like winter and being alone in the house. In summer you go out and life is all around, soft wind and friends everywhere. My art editing program is not getting any harder and since I did get my photo cataloging program back up I've taken steps to cover. If suddenly I have to update both programs, I will not be in the lurch, not knowing what something is, and how to operate it! Not that I am so good, but I try. Most of the time I wish I had a better camera, but that would mean new lenses. I get good pictures, but sometimes you get better ones. Did I do that! How did I do that! I have a new lens which is fun and adds interest to shooting because it is so different. The flowers and the bugs are not as easy this hot dry summer. Marks or you can't get close. But still I go at dawn and forget about nothing and don't come back til noon. Wonderful!
Trying to find something for my photos. I found two. Where I am is really too small a picture. I've got more yard work if it doesn't rain. Been on computer working on photos. Had a big time getting them posted. I went shopping out of town twice. It was really good getting out of town. And this time I did get a few clothes. I'm wearing out clothes. Went photoing yesterday. Got a few. I kept more than I thought. I have to find time for scrubs and sidewalk. Tonight I have to finish up my mow yesterday. Hope to get another combo photo going.
Again I can't renew my account here to professional. I am reminded my professional account is going to expire and links are there to pay with credit card, but the transaction always fails. I've been taking photos and getting outside. Good for the soul and health, except deer. I would like to explore more of the park, but deer have returned. I still have gotten some photos. Yesterday it was cattle had broken into the park. The sheriff dept said he saw nothing. I saw nothing today, but am still scared of deer. In one picture a peaceful group of deer feeding in the way distance turned into all stags when I zoomed in on the taken photo. They did all run when they saw me, and it was quite a ways away. Another encounter was closer, but I thought few deer were in the park then, and I was back further. They left, and I headed for the road. My outside house work is getting along. My scrubs still need cutting, but that is for cooler weather. The last big tree in the front is gone in a storm and I have saved money by cleaning up the stump grinding debris myself. It still needs grass planted. Again, if I get a new place to display my photos (I still probably can here without a professional account, but I don't know what to do, with the war) I will give the address. It's been wonderful being outside. I always think I should go out during the winter and do dead things, but I've never done it yet. I tried a sketch outside, which was fun. I was photoing wild flowers by deep hedge windfall and heard a very close noise like a deer trying to get up fast. I never heard anything else. (I didn't look in!!) I was there the day before and got better photos of these flowers, and did not hear anything. I wish I had a dog, but as yet can't find a way to manage the dog AND my camera/tripod. This morning was the worst. Wind, Sun, nothing but wilted flowers. But I found a few. You never know what will form a usable image, blur or not. Most are not good, but you never know what will click in. I don't want to welcome the fall, I want to be a snow bird. I might sign up for a class, but I don't know about that.
Photo tip. Always turn around to see where you have been, it can be more photogentic than ahead of you. Also can see anything following you. Try photos with other lens, if you have any. Bracket or take same photo with different apertures, if you are shooting macro. Later on screen, or on computer you can pick the best aperture or apertures to keep. Do not forget, or remember that you can edit a more infocus spot in a picture (or a whole duplicate global picture that is more infocus [by using a smaller aperture hole]) under the first picture, (which has less depth of field) and erase mildly on the top picture[which has less depth] to show the bottom picture to bring out a spot that has a bit more focus to it. (By erasing the top picture down to the bottom, more in focus, one.) Start with a mild erasing first, to see how it looks. And make sure in editing,that these two layers are completly aligned before you do this! And take these pictures, to begin with, on a tripod that does not move, with all it's handles tightened down. Edit this afterwards, only if the picture would look better with a spot or larger area more in focus. It can be the opposite - if you want an area less in focus. Keep in mind, that this doesn't happen much. You need to know how the picture needs to come out to make it a better image, to begin with. I often take more than one exposure of the same macro picture (from my tripod) bracketing aperture (depth of field). Some cameras have a button that lets you see just how the picture will look at the depth of field you have dialed in. On my camera, I'm always looking thru the widest apreture by default. I must push the button to see just how the actual picture will look if I have set a different aperture. This is pretty serious for macro photography. Later I go home and delete the extra photos taken at different apertures that will not help me. You need to know how basic DSLR photography works to begin with. You need to know how different apertures will change a picture's looks. This is way more apparent in macro photography, than in other kinds of photography. And seeing these subtle differences, while outside taking the picture, in all the outside light, is next to impossible to see.
Also carry sunburn lotion/stick, mosiquoto spray, hat, map, compass, and protection. Another person along to carry tripod, leashed dog, etc... I wish I had that. In the winter you better take care of your exposed face and fingers and toes. Wear insulted boots. Buy them bigger and stuff with extra socks. Don't get too far from the car, and have someone to call with your cell phone if you get in trouble. Keep charged cell phone and extra camera batteries near you, in pockets, or under your winter coat for warmth. Be aware of animal and human tracks on the ground, if you can see them. And try and know a fresher track from an old one. Downer... Best not to change lens outside. Always do it in a car (without heater blower running) or inside a house. This is where richer people have a one up. They can afford to buy two cameras and put different lens on each! Wish I had that! They can do macro and then switch cameras and take a landscape with a different lens on the second camera. I've been taught, and in experience, that zoom lens are far more flexibe for landscapes than primes (only one fixed mm). But primes have a bit better resolution. Most macro lens are primes, but for landscapes you can get just about any zoom mm. Shorter are probably better than longer zoom ranges. (You can buy primes for landscapes too.) I don't know. And if you want a way long telephoto, be advised that something you see far away and looks good, will look less good thru the long telephoto, because it will be clearer and more in focus, and just of a smaller zoomed part. If your going to use a way long telephoto, use it for compression or on something you can't get close to, like birds, wildlife etc. Don't worry because these tend to be expensive! And you probably will need a tripod again. And don't take anything I've said for the ultimate truth, now! Talk to an expert first. You don't have to talk to just one expert. Read on the Internet or watch videos for information. What I have said about equipment here, may be older information. You need to know now. And there are used options also, at lower prices, at good outlets. But anyway you slice it, photographic equipment is very expensive and you should know before you sink a lot of money into something. Do you even know if you like photography and are going to continue with it? Some people can throw around their money, and some people should be careful. You could start with a lower priced option. You don't have to use it up for years. Just use it to see if you like photography. Then, if you want to go on, you can sink more money into better equipment.
Another downer tip for frail artists. Did you know that it can get so cold, that in the act of breathing, the cold air you breathe can start to freeze your lungs!!!!! It is instant. Stop and breathe through your hand. Be very careful in just how cold of weather you go out in and don't venture very far, if at all, from the car. It's happened to me when I was jogging, and much younger than I am now. Be careful of the very cold and windy conditions, and or snowing. You could pass out. You will know this when it starts. Stop and breath thru your mittens. When I stopped running and breathed through my mittens, it instantly stopped. You can die from this, and with no one around, no one will know your in trouble.
Got a little energy, I hope the storms don't come. It's been boiling. Got on the roof once to blow, but yesterday I weeded, blew the drive and chipped the back. Meaning scraping and repainting over the scraping. I got worse things to attend to like doing this high! I've been taking lots of photos. I pretty much have a new lens to learn. And love it. It has different depth and I have to find best aperture to get pictures. That is why more pictures. I bracket aperture, then back home to LCD. (After a hard drive failure I'm still not back on my computer.) The way to do this, is see how these things look right in the field!
Turning to simpler problems to fix... I also had to get a new bag. Walking outside with breeze I like to fit one bag inside another to have added protections from dust and wind. I also got some covers for the camera and lens when out. That takes a lot off my mind. I'm going to carry a ground cover so I can sit my bag on the ground (sometimes). I like these pictures...well, some:) and glad I have the bags and coat. Now if I don't fall down! I wish it was allowed and I had a battery powered golf cart. The carrying of all this is really hard. Taking pictures expends so much energy. My back is taking a hit! Don't forget mosquito repellent! Would love to sit outside with this.
I'm getting some recent pictures ready to show. I don't know whether I should be putting them here since this board is Russian. In depth I don't really know. I don't know where else to go, it all takes time. Cars keep going by right now hitting the same sewer cover going click click click and way eariler a dog barked across the street and I ran to see who or what was walking by when I started looking at pictures. I don't think this is random and they are trying to scare me. It could be as simple as changing to another site. I haven't anything solid yet. Where am I going to put them up? Why don't I know? If this is going to happen, why was something done earlier? This is going to uncover something maybe. You know no one is up there representing art. I've never liked the ones they put up. The last liked is Impressionists and a very few modern. I see more stuff I like on the Internet. I want to be with a group that feels everyone is equal and there is not a top artist. Is there a site where artists display or not? I don't know it. So I ran out of camera battery and am charging one now...now we will have a power surge or outage! I might as well go out and work unless I draw first. This board is open to anyone who obeys the rules, but I am going to be putting a lot (I hope) pictures up. The following is still one of my favorites!
I will try and get those photos. I got Photoshop going. Night stars! Checking on if it had rained where I go and I grabed fast shots of new flowers, not expecting much, then a young frail spider walked out on one and I got a great shot, also a Skipper sat on a flower in perfection. When I try harder it's sometimes less than perfect. I had to run because of work. House needs painting. So at work I opened the door and saw a black widow spider inches from my hand. Not a widow, but something. Glad I've watched a lot of television.
Last night I was running around the country looking for fireworks and deer were watching it!! - one was, transfixed and having fun!!!! I died laughing! It was one of these nights, moon out fireworks shooting up into the sky! He was real close! Later I almost ran over two foxes chasing each other through a field! I didn't see them until they were in the headlights! Various coons and fireflys, stars, moon, fireworks, animals crossing the road, it was a wonderland!
The other night I was shooting star landscapes. I was in a park where people walk down trails and fish. There were people fishing in the dark! I just got done saying to the women, I will probably chicken out when you leave. Sure enough when I saw that car pull away and I was all alone in the dark, I chickened out. I grabed my camera and tripod and as I reached my car I heard coyote or fox! God that scared me, they could tear me up! I'm nothing and they know it. I was so relieved to get in that car. I drove to another place that is a vista surrounded by fields and it had a large dirt covered pulloff to take pictures on. It's right on the road. You could just make out the large area of light dirt all around, so looking for dark shapes was easy. I got star shots and was glad to get back in the car because enough time had elapsed that something coming over the fields to investigate would have gotten there. Night is cover and animals know it. They are in their element! I'll just have to insert this star sky into the deep twilight landscape. Go with someone else when you do this! High Fun! Have Fun!
If I could just get to my scanner, so why do I bump that in favor of taking my ending (so far) photoshop notes on masking. I have a hard time with masking and curves. This time I learned more things and got some of it in notes. With these directives I might try a b&w gradient with a layer mask. That's what they have all been doing for years. I just learned that adjustment layers can be re-edited and do not take up much space. I did all this note taking yesterday and after I got the lawn mowed. I thought I might pass out, but after I started mowing I felt better. That's done. I've been trying to do something with my parents grave and other for so long and I just can't get it done. It's depressing me. I need to get to a scanner!
Something I found on Internet. I don't teach, this was from a class. I like the first one! But the other is getting on to being realistic classical rep. Both are good. I like the looseness.
Not too good, I need to install another version of my photo browser
I wondered, why don't I feel good...it's the heat. I turned off all the lights in the house, opened windows at night and took off most of my chothes. It helped some. I don't have AC yet. One fan is on. The day before I decided not to leave looking for things in the car. I'm glad I did. I hope I find those things in the future. So I might hose down dirty parts of the house outside if I get my energy back. It's always something. I mean it's always something and it doesn't stop! Back to school! (not for me) I picked up some stuff cheap! There were these giant 5" erasers with "OPPS" on them. Cracked me up, I had to get one...$1. Maybe I'll frame it, or just use in on big things. That type of pink eraser does not work very well, you need better quality. When I was in college all you could find was better quality ones. Half my erasers are antiques! Mother said, "If you find makeup you like, buy a lot. It won't be there the next time!" I've lived by that moto, so I have a lot of erasers. One time a very long time ago I wrote a company about a white eraser. They sent me a box of them! So I have many erasers of a type! I can't find the box, it's somewhere.
I went photoing this morning. Bachlore Buttons, Ha, but I forgot they are one flower that needs to open up, so I couldn't see them and drove way out to find some while there are some closer. So I got other flowers waiting. I have not been out in a while. I just didn't want to photo bugs. I had to go by this one house when long ago this kid came out and screamed at me what are you doing. (I was taking pictures of flowers by the side of the road. I was parked off the road and it was a back one. He wouldn't let up. Finally he went in and I know he called the police and I know they told him just what I did. I was driving by and saw the set of his patio chairs and it was so formal and rigid, that's when your suposed to relax, in the backyard. So I got by that and no one came out. Everytime I go by there I think he is going to come screaming out again!
I threw a pot! This is the second. I'll try and photo it if I can. It turned out pretty good! Today I was trying to process night storm photos and I learned how to change one photos colors to match anothers. Wow! I thought there was some way but I didn't have a term or anything. I'm really happy about that...there is an easy way! Called Match Color, or something.
There is more of something I can't eat in the food. Innuendos say if I put up more photos here, it will get worse. I can only eat a few things. Please let me know about staying on the board. I don't want to make trouble between countries. I also got more fireflies for my firefly bank and used some in the storm pictures, I took a week or so back. Boy things have changed outside. It's half summer and half beginning fall. I would like to get some landscapes. All I hear is lawn mowers and I have got to do that next. So glad to be able to be back on my computer editing photos! Now if I can just get my cataloging program back up! And it would be a dream to be able to work outside. Wireless?
I got some other pics edited today ON COMPUTER! First I had to find them, their recent. Was faster editing and Camera Raw edits sometimes do look better. It made one of my pictures! Now when I put these up I'll have trouble. Everyone is free to do this and many do it frequently. Why should I be any different? Because I don't know the site to put my photos on? Why don't I know it? Maybe I should go on a paid site. If I do the price will go up and the amount of photos will go down. Maybe. Tired of being put down because I'm into art. Should I affiliate with another town or move to another country. Seems like too much to have to do.
But the photos turned out well. With one flower the things I thought up worked and I halfway blocked and smoothed its buds etc. I have forward plans. Hope I can get to them. Finally, got some house painting done and that dragged me down, so I could not do another thing this week. I am not house painting, but white washing parts of the outside. This sounds like it would be streaky, but it isn't. I washed it first. I have to get up on the roof now. Can I fit in eves? I hope so. Didn't do them last year! But in looking for pictures to put in here, I have started getting the new ones in order! But I really happy about my editing in these photos, except too many fireflies in one, Ha!
I did get out. I got away but I didn't get it all done. I got in trouble with something I have worried about, but it has never happened yet. Fill you in later. It was very hot, even with my car's AC. That may have had something to do with it. I did get to lay flowers at my relatives graves. Late, but since I stay there talking to them, I don't think they mind. I got lost so many times and had to be re-routed because of a race. I should have gone to it! I only thought of this when I was home!!! The same beautiful countryside as I remember and the people are so full of energy and excitement. Things were really popping! I saw the largest windmills for renewable energy I have ever seen in my life. You can't tell how big these are on TV!! Gargantuan White and spread across open fields against darker sky, BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't believe the site, it was unreal! Now why didn't I photo...even with my cell phone...didn't think of it! So I also saw some of my alive relatives and had a good chat. I Miss that area. It reminds me so much of my parents. These people at the race and lake are so much like my parents running around, having fun and experiencing life. Talking about everying and making so much sense. Didn't want to come back. I thought I would spend two days. Got home all the way watching heat lightning. Patches of peach heat lightning near horizon with occasional bolts. Then peach somewere else. Then another bolt! It was beautiful. But the clouds, lightning and silhouetts were such that you couldn't tell if there was a twister amoung it all. No hail or wind, so I didn't know, but I thought I, for sure, saw one! and stopped ready to turn around, but it was clear when the lightning came back. I will try and get my macro pictures, or some up hear after work. Maybe tomorrow. It was a beautiful trip. Don't want to give it up. Want to go back have some exciting fun!
I was out in a blower storm at 3AM couple weeks ago. My hemp dragon and a beautiful flower...
Looked better in Photoshop, maybe you have a better monitor!
Thought I better get some flowers and insects while I can. The whole landscape has changed with tan. I've been so busy with art and my computer failure, when I got back, it was a shock. And with our much needed heavy rain going near a woods brings on mosquitos like I've never seen!!!! Even with stiff repelent they still fly all around your head non stop wherever you move!! They even fly into your eyes and nose. Their last chance, the nights are now cold with the days hot, or at least with all my drab for photoing on. I sweat and wipe, and the blights bite the " " out of me. You should see the welts around my face. I did get some pics though, but deleted many of them. Watched a deer watch me and worried about my driving in the dark to get to my photo site. Deer crossing the road. I slow down and stop, watching mother and fawns get safely over the road and then as I start up one of the fawns goes right in front of me! Scared me, but I didn't hit it. I wonder how long he has to live when playing with traffic that way! Yesterday, as I said, I didn't find much so when I come to blooming bush with bees on, I go right to work. This was further back in a spot I haven't gone to much. I see, when walking back, this running doe. Then as I've got a few bee pictures in this other bigger deer comes running by like something scared it. He looks at me and then takes off. I got some more bee pictures, but there was no tree very close. So this morning I went back. This field irrigation system was spraying water all around and I had to time it so I could go up the trail. Is this a sign, or just sucking irrigation? I thought it was funny! Anyway when I got there the flowers were dried up. I tried to get landscapes. Tonight went better as I cleaned up my notes on restoring files to my computer. Nothing outstanding, but being outside all day really gets me back to myself, even with bites all over. At one point I felt venom all over. Hate that hum. Hope the repelent never falls out of my pocket.
Last Thursday (8/18/2022) I went out again to photo. Very hot and uneventful. The bugs were hot too. Never letting me close or flying before I trip the shutter. My back was breaking. I'm scared someone will get in the car and steal a lens, so now I must carry all extra lens and I can't change them outside, I would have to walk back to the car! Don't change outside. Better to take one lens unless you think you might want landscapes that day too. You have to make these awful choices unless someone else can go with you to carry equipment or stay in car. So I can't take more than one or two extra lens if I'm walking a long distance and photoing a lot. On a sunny day I carry an umbrella too, besides tripod (to shade photo subjects if needed). Umbrellas are great for flowers. Bugs will fly or lose their virgin stance if you start messing with umbrellas and tripods. Takes too much time. Sometimes you can shade with your own body. Other than that, if the subjectmatter is real good, but you can't get it how you want it through the camera, think post editing. Take the picture anyway. Can Photoshop fix that? * Could new innovations in photo editing fix it? No one knows about new innovations until companies come out with it. Do these already exist? I have taken pictures, that I don't think Photoshop can fix, but advanced photo editing innovations might. Educated guess for extending editing capabilities that are there now. (Like, how much can a smart sharpening tool, if it knows a bees structure, can rebuild and sharpen parts of your bee photo which are lost in too much blur? Subtle information is still there but not that much and impossible to sharpen. How much could this rebuild and sharpen a lost point or the area around it?)...
There is a fix already for my bee example in Photoshop. Take more pictures with the focus point moved. But if the bee moves before you can do this, that doesn't work. (They're always moving around and going on to the next flower.) Or if you really can't see this tiny lack of focus, or depth, in your camera monitor, being outside, you don't know anything is wrong, and go on to the next shot. (You can't see your camera's monitor that good in outside light. It's horrible, especially when there is sun!) Or if your only shooting single shots of bees and don't ever look in the monitor to begin with. (But you should once to try and estimate the best depth of field to use according to most of the bees distance away. Or be able to change it fast when you get a close or far one.) I hope that in the future there will be a smart rebuild feature if possible. You should learn to adjust all your F stop, Shutter, ISO, Exposure Compensation, Manual or Automatic focus etc...and what they do with practice. But don't exclude the idea of later editing the photo. And what you can do with that. Don't not take a great photo because something isn't right. Maybe editing can fix it.
Photoshop has "Depth of Field Blending." You take multiple shots (on a tripod) of the same subject matter, with the focus intelligently changed to a different area in each photo. Then Photoshop stacks all the shots and presents all the photos merged into one, using only the sharpest focused information from all the photos. [Using a tripod, when shooting this way is probably essential. Have the tripod knobs all tightened down and hope there is not a strong wind.] But you may not have time to take all these extra shots on a tripod! An advanced smart sharpening tool could reach into its knowledge base for that type of bee (at all angles and lights) and know and rebuild that very blured area and make it sharper! Photoshop CC has or had the Patch Tool and Content-Aware Filling to rebuild areas of a photo. But the example given was for a shadow area which had some underlying darker information. Not less information to work from as you would have with much blurring. I don't know the full scope of how these work so I can't go on with this. But editing might be able to fix a certain aspect of a photo so take the shot!
One of my problems is that I can't see a picture I've taken outside on my camera's monitor that good. In macro, depth of field can be all important. I end up shooting the same thing with different apertures and that eats up card space, to see what looks best. Because I can't see them outside very good, especially with sun. When you come home in a darkened room, you can see the photos better, even on your camera's monitor. You should see them again on your computer's monitor... it will change again. And you will see even more information from the picture. And another problem I have is having to lug a tripod, plus other things. Makes me tired. Taking a picture is just as bad. As much tension as walking with all the gear. You always have to be on guard that nothing falls all the time and this really tires you out the longer you walk and take pictures. And uneven ground or rocks can trip you and your equipment at any time.
To get back to Thursday. Wildflowers come out at different times. By and at large there may be only 3-4 of the same good flowers in bloom at any one time of the summer, if you don't go that far. I got all those. But of course there are individuals doing individual things and combos of flowers and backgrounds, and backgrounds by themselves. I try to get the prettiest shots, but some don't add up when I get home, so I delete. When dealing with wildflowers, sometimes it's best to look around through the viewfinder, moving the lens to hunt for a better composition. Or sometimes you do see it while walking or looking. And then you see a bug on a flower! Or a Praying Mantis in the background!!! The very best on Thursday was a tiny grey blue butterfly. That's one I would give to Photoshop or future editing. But I haven't seen it yet on my computer. Also there was a Cicada portrait upside down on a flower bush. Probably dying or not enough water. I tried my best in the hot sun. I prefer dawn, but that doesn't last very long when there is clear sky. He flew on my tripod as I was about to leave. I don't like to leave in that instance. It breaks my heart.
You can never count on finding a Praying Mantis in the wild. You just come upon them at a certain time of year - Now... maybe. Stand back and don't scare them, get everything together and then edge up to take the picture. What works for me is to start taking pictures back and then edge forward. Praying Mantis is a predator so they are less likely to fly off, but you can scare them with sudden moves or noise and they move around behind the stem they are on to hide from you or down to the ground in the plant & stick mesh. As you click the camera you are happy and fulfilled with every shot and they know this is true. The click is what you came for. They might let you get even closer. Sometimes I get so close (not with Praying Mantis, but other flying things) that I'm out of minimum focus distance! Mostly Thursday was a day of missing shots though...and more hot sun. One time, out of frustration, I moved this non flying bug back on top of the leaf and got the shot...funny!
I know bugs look better in a studio setting. One you can control. But I like photos in the wild. Bugs set up in a studio is better but they always have unhappy countenances of being trapped. Maybe better to raise them from hand. I wonder if that also does not work for expressions. I don't know. But in the wild, if you get close, they might have one eye on you and that shows also. But on the other hand, they are always mixing well with the background or sky, in natural positions, on natural things. But they also really look great set up in a studio backdrop. It really sets the bug better in a photograph. Outside is more naturalistic though.
I wish more people could get in this. Camera shops do rent equipment sometimes. Photographic equipment is more expensive than art. Especially if you want full frame single lens reflex cameras with lens or the digital option, not to mention medium format cameras. I don't know what they are doing with less expensive cameras. Maybe they are getting better? As I said before, too much emphasis being put on art as the highest of the high. Which is less true today. I think this gets us into trouble. But photo artists want the most quality in their pictures. Happy awe of the past, today everyone wants to do it. Have the time to do it. Or how many people who watch TV want to really go there and can't afford it. Or could afford it, but want to reserve their saved money for their kids or something. So they still can't have money to spend on themselves. Maybe borrow someone else's camera? Some will be surprised at film. The editing and filming work that goes on behind a movie or program. Sure the filmers get to go to exotic places, but they may be there years to get enough footage or use camera traps or have multiple flimers doing it, or all three. You have a choice to watch the film to see all the best footage and learn as you watch. Or you can travel there (and you need to do this too) and see in life 1 or 2 of the previously filmed sequences on the ground or far away in an airplane or helicopter. Don't despair, you will be seeing much more of everything you didn't go there for, like crazy. Even animals and landscapes, plants, smells, and people etc... Do you really want to stay there a year to see life examples of all the filmed sequences!? It's having the money to do it. How about free travel?
And thats what I did last Thursday. Monday was another photo morning day but there had been much rain in the past. I got a few more photo opportunities, because the plants and insects were renewing from the rain. I did get landscapes too sometime. :)
*(On the problem of the price of Photoshop. I worked with Photoshop Elements for years [it is still standalone now] and it had 98% of Photoshop in it. It was under $100 dollars and everyone knows Photoshop is only subscription (can only buy through a subscription) now and can come together with Lightroom. Maybe a year for $120+? Back when I bought Photoshop standalone, it was $700+ or so. Talk to someone in know about all this. I have seen no difference between the same features in my Photoshop Elements and my Photoshop. Photoshop Elements features had just as much quality. But comparing them at that time was not a set job of mine, I just relied on my perception of things I bumped into. I don't know about the latest versions of Photoshop Elements today. Is it the same quality? I want to tell you it is, and Adobe will tell you the same. You need a knowledgable person who can trace tendencies from the past into the present about PSE and PS [Photoshop Elements and Photoshop]. Some boards might. I now have my older stand alone version of Photoshop which I have been able to keep so far.)
I've been blowing my brains out trying to get my catalog program set back up from computer's hard drive failure. All I can think about is Spaghetti. There is a pile of dishes. I've got still to clean the inside floors and my computer has to be turned off. This morning a slight windfall. I was going my usual places and came apon a wild turkey hen. I really froze and tried to take photos with a braced tripod. They were pretty cool, it was between forground blur and she did not freak away! Just looked nice at something nice in profile. I don't like the green leaves, but I can take that out. I didn't get much else all day. Didn't feel well and had to go back to the house twice for a card and purse. I've got to do the dishes!
This is a recent entry I didn't get to at the tail end of summer after my lightning shots in here, but recent. Another lightning storm.
Another muggy singing night. After work I got everything out of the car and taken care of. I sat there watching horizon lightning until I decided to go out and try for some more lightning shots. It may be the last. It did keep up while I was driving but I had to find a clear overview spot. This lightning was slower than the last. I finally found a spot, but then I kept having trouble. I didn't want to go on tripod because it was slightly windy at times. The country road was black dark - no cars. I got myself in the opposing seat, window down and remote cord, focus, bulb. What was ISO? It's not easy to brace the camera against the car window frames as to not move and use the remote...in dark...it can be done. (I prefer to out pace an approaching storm and use my tripod while taking time exposures. There is another problem, I don't know about other cameras but mine has to wait as long as the shutter was on bulb, to process the last picture! That is a lot of time lost while lightning is going on! I missed many shots) The first few shots went okay, but then the remote was not working. You can't see anything in the dark and all I had was a small flashlight. The remote was okay, but in all the squirming I had moved the shutter (on Bulb) to 30 sec. So that was fixed! Back on BULB. The lightning was different! WOW! It was very thin. So thin it represented as a line of dots!!!!!!!!! The shots were great against shaded dark and light clouds with some heat lightning. (But no city light forground.) And the times I had trouble and had to turn on the overhead were so cool with the backdrop of smuggy things in the car! So I am very glad I went. It finally started raining and I drove toward home with many road leaves and hopping frogs. Animals have fun in the rain too! I saw two deer, fawn, racoon, groundhog...everyone was having Fun! Soft warm surround damp. It was a soft loving night. I found another spot and got a couple more. No one was ever out, it was just me and storm and animals I wished I could be with. Glad I went. So many storms petter out. I guess I'll try and get out more. Dotted lightning? Wow! I'll never see that again. Maybe I'll move to Florida:)
The tail end of summer kept getting cooler with cool nights. I went out, but now I'm really waiting for the cool to lift and sun to come out. I got a couple more praying mantis shots, nothing to rave about. And outside house work has to be fitted in. I had to have a downspout cleared, but now I can get the last eves done.
SNOW STARTING. I liked this. And am not trying to be offhand cute. I do like this filtered picture. And will my filtered pictures look like this again? I'm sure not [maybe], my computer has been on the Internet. I don't know. But I think everyone who wants to record images should get theirs up too. And not below the top artist. I don't believe in a "top artist," for some people. Their art should be recorded, as everyone's, together. Not a top to bottom scenairo. For the people who want a top to bottom, there can be a division for them also. With a top artist and a few below only, or a group only. Or they could include many others below them. That all could go for other endeavors, or jobs also. This could be a gift to you this holiday season. It's only an idea, my idea, and I don't want to incur that this is the way it is. It is only my idea. I've talked about it before in here and how evolution could be poised, right now, for this option. Like I said, think about making some art, or whatever you do, history needs you!! And history needs the top to bottom people too.
I'm right in the middle of something and can't put anything up so here are a couple of previous pictures in color. I like them both ways. Have a happy new year!
Snow is light here, but it is freezing!
I work weekends so the time off is greatly appreciated because I don't feel 100%. Mostly I don't feel good after I work. I cleaned out under kitchen sink this morning. Who does that? I'm sure many, and I do it too, every few years. This year I threw out some way old things and some rusty bottoms. Looks great. Now have under the couch to do. I have art books and things under there. Samples and sample catalogs. The couch gets vacuumed too. The pillows are done. Need to clean out refrig too. But on a better day, I could have done both (under sink & couch) Not at this time. After cleaning the sink I went to sleep and didn't wake up til noon!
I have a small inexpensive order and was working for that. Most came today. One item is still to come. It's very cold here, hanging at 20 degreesF or below. The coldest I've ever been out in is 20 degrees below 0 F. I was much younger then. I really pile on the clothes in layers with everything else. I'm not cold when I go out. I carry a extra bag in the car with extra socks, mittens, and face socks...even ice cleats! I have extra coats and leggings or pants in there. There is a shovel in the trunk. It can get pretty cold here for a time and with all this global warming, or fluctuations, I don't know what to expect. The thing is, the colder it gets, the easier the cold temps get in the house. The house heat doesn't offset that. I can remember a long time ago, we (parents & me) had a kerosene heater and it was way below 0 F. Our house heat was way going. I was right infront of the kerosene heater and my front was warm, while my back was cold!
I draw when I get the chance. Drawing and photo really come first, but I try and balance things. It's just when I work, I can't do art that day. My drawing is going great. Practice is wonderful and moving me around. When it hits a truth, my body knows it, and then it tells my mind. I'm not drawing 100% by eye anymore , but can go back to that or incorporate more of it into a work. I'm working on how much to distort some pictures. I can distort, but when I start a picture, I want to take off and draw the thing by hand first! I'm working on putting the two together more, when needed. I usually use simple pics on my cell phone for subject matter. I did get a white card standup for still life. I can photo from there too. The place becomes a mess, but have not spilled any watercolor on carpet yet. The cleanup is quick too, since, as yet, there is no traditional oil paint involved. Since I really have no studio, I call my bedroom my studio. I'm getting better with the problem of not knowing how to finish off the ending details in a picture, because my physical problem is getting better. I have been going back over some older pictures and finishing them closer! :) I'm seeing ending things better! If you can't see the words highlight them. They didn't used to run together(?) I'll try and change to black or white next time.
Passing by the theory that the Chicxulub asteroid was the primary reason the made dinosaurs go extinct, and then swinging back to this... Was that a natural smash, or did something engineer it? Placing an 6 mile wide asteroid to hit earth! Perhaps something or someone who would rather not see a dinosaur ancestor was the base for higher intelligence on Earth!? They would prefer mammals. Ha Ha, but a passing thought I've had. Not to put down way out thoughts. We need them! So, if we find a dinosaur fossil that lived far closer to us (was more recent) we can erase this thought. Maybe, but there are birds! Maybe birds are needed to develop higher intelligence and not humans! They know humans will die out. Who knows. But I believe something else is out there. Maybe too far away to get here or do anything like this. But who knows what they do, or have done! This is why science is so interesting and way out. I believe that with the amout of worlds out there, there is other life. We happened! Maybe it is not as intelligent yet, as us, but some sort of fundamental life is out there. And if we find it on Mars...WOW, this would mean it is probably alot all over. And with the amount of space, maybe some intelligent life. Have we, or have we not had a lot of things come our way, just so, to get to this human intelligence? Who knows? But every new find has a story to tell!
LEAKING NUCLEAR RADIATION and cleaning it up...I know nothing about this...words...spelling....what is going on. This is not my area...chemistry, physics...and I have no time to delve into this. I have art, photo, house, and job to keep up and I need long rest peroids to keep going. So if all this, what I say, is wrong, forget it. But, because this is important, I thought I would bring it up anyway, even though I don't know enough to write about it!
I hear of monitoring nuclear waste in deep sea instances. I do not hear of cleaning anything up. Has there been a cleanup of the most dangerous already? Is cleanup more of a danger than leaving it to sit? Esp. in the sea! How about the ground water? Who is going to be around to monitor and clean up after we die? Maybe some, but a little further into the future, there will be no insurances that there will be one human on earth, capable of cleaning this up! Every person around the world could go into varying degrees of digression of intelligence. As part of necessary human evolution. Evolution might need us to rest for a long time (millions of years of digression, which would be like renewing sleep) before we can recover high intelligence...just so our species can live and go on!! And what happens to nuclear waste leaking into ground water and the sea then?! For all that time, how much life does it kill? I'm not saying this to be funny. I'm saying it can happen. It could happen.
Like I believe, life (in all it forms) has one purpose - to live and go on. There is nothing else. It fluctuates to achieve this end with ongoing, changing, outside pressure (or inside) (Evolution). There is no insurance that we will go on getting more and more intelligent with time. We could stay as is. We could not. We could digress in intelligence, maybe a lot and for a long time. Will there be anyone there, in the future, able to read and interpret our left directives for cleaning up nuclear waste if we now, do not clean it up? So it won't leak for all time! Are there any left directives? What is the story? Will this waste kill everything, or not all, or very little with time? I know this waste takes very very very long to break down. I really don't know why we made a decision to implant this nuclear tec to begin with, like we have!! ...At the time of implantation there was a lot of optimism around. Optimism fine, but in the future, will there be anyone able to clean this up? Did they think of that? Or did the few people who were thinking of this, overruled? The overruling party's thinking - if we are gone in a million years, so what! We will continue to monitor until we are gone! What happens then is of no importance. What about the plants and animals? Do you not care about other life? Do you not want it to go on? The life that made US!
So there it is. It's a huge job discription. And not a pleasant one. But maybe we do not need to do this ever? I don't know! But I just thought I'd bring it up. I know no one who could direct me to the exact site on the web that talks about this. Is it there?
I try to get moving snow, but can't. I can not learn every last detail. I can't see this, I can't edit, do not have any more time. pics up here maybe REALLY COLD Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I really have to work on not drawing so exactly. I don't know where to stop.
Snow really coming Wed...
Landon has hit! It started last night, snow and snow, so I had to go out and take pics downtown. I was the only one downtown,except a few people in cars. No plowing. So I broke thru alot of virgin snow, and nice for the pictures. It was hard, I was weak and tired. (Was just about to go to sleep when I first saw it snowing!) This was a moist snow and it was hard keeping my camera in the case and out of the case for pictures and wiping it off in between. I can't carry a bag and tripod and umbrella. Your suppose to use an umbrella above the camera while taking pictures with wet snow, but I can't hold that and manuver the tripod and camera on slippery snow! I forgot to put on durag before my snow hat and I had super trouble with long hair getting in eyes. So after an hour or two of that I got gas and a pop and went home to shovel the 2-car drive. That was hard and I got it done just at dawn. Back into the car for country shots of snow. Still no plowing, but I'm good at driving thru it unless it is way too deep. I was out until 12PM. I had my pop and some crackers, but didn't eat anything. It got colder. I wanted to make a snowman before I left, because it was warm, but didn't have time. Again no one was out at all, but after I left this park, they had plowed country roads. It wasn't bad, but I don't want to take the car out at all tomorrow. So I got home from that and there was a great cleanup from photography and a cold car to clean out of photo stuff. Then I had to shovel the drive again and it was hard. The end was really hard. My body can't take much more. I started worrying about when will this stop and I am not going to be able to keep clearing the drive. I can't keep lifting that heavy snow over the high side banks because they are getting higher and higher. So after I finished the drive I decided to run the shovel back over the drive which had new snow on it! And as I got closer to the house, the new snow got deeper! I'm waiting for my camera to warm up now so I can look at the pictures. But again, I can't get to shopping and other duties downtown. I going to eat now and pass out.
Some shots did turn out! Had to do HALF the drive again this morning. There was 4-6". Hope it doesn't snow much more, I won't be able. Can't hurt my back! Valentines Day...
Happy Upcoming Valentines Day! I'm afraid, our whole county was declared a disaster area last summer, now we will get a tornado that destroys the house this year! I'm afraid of upcoming ice. At work it was warmer, still snow. Setting sun reflects yellow and tan geese. They don't know where they are going!!! Is the smell is covered by snow!? All my snow shoveling gave me back problems that I never got before. I thought I was doomed, but after one nights sleep and food it healed. I got the other side of the drive last night. I was up til 1AM last night doing household stuff. I have major cleaning plans today. I think sleep will over take back pain.
I'm destroying the outline. I did it, and filled it in. This does really relax the drawing and makes it flow and it then does not look studentish. I am going to continue with this. At this time I don't know how much to do it. And how much to new different compositions. I swear I will be painting soon because I want application to flow more, but don't want to lose my lining. I also don't want to always do things like this, in this wacked out outline all the time. I'm setting this wack-out up. it's not like another person's native relaxation in drawing. I've never been like that. I've had to fight years to get it this far. I do relax more and more in drawing with more drawing practice. Mybe that will catch up. But in the end, whatever happens, I still think I should do a few choosen pictures more by eye. I have one or two drawings done more by eyeup at my journal that look great. So that is where I'm at in drawing. I don't have enough time and this is bugging me more and more. I wish there was a way out.
Today I'm trying to do a Valentines Snowgirl outside. I've already drawn pictures, so I had drawing practice. It's going to be small and sit on a snowbank. I have no idea what this is going to look like. (I'm lousy at design and outside house decor - can't see it.) And I have to sit the snowgirl back so the plows won't wreck it.
I shoveled salt snow today and then went thru the livingroom and edged and sweeped by hand edges and under things. I don't feel good. When I get like this I think I'm getting older and it is going to always be like this and it will get worse and worse. I don't know why. I then remember that I worked hard today and I may feel like this for a day or two. I don't know why I don't remember this. I'm glad I got the livingroom done. I decided not to clean the rugs and carpet because of the dampness. It's damp outside with melting snow. It was kind of raining and I couldn't do the Valentine's Day snowman. I've got to work tomorrow and I don't know if I will get the snowman done. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Thought I chance it and drive to take snow pictures. We have had more snow and schools are closed. Really nice morning. I got a lot of good pictures while I chanced it again driving thru halfway plowed roads. Some or most, where I was, were tracked, not plowed yet. I was constantly having to make decisions...not go up that hill, take another route, can I get in there, will I get stuck. White snow and white snow. I was mostly treading snow to drive through. Not too bad. I can do that unless it's pretty deep. (Last night I got the drive and came out again, way late, to clear the end. So I could go this morning.) I got a lot of pictures and all the high tension driving went really well. I thought I'd leave going out on this less used road (they all were dirt) because it had some views. I got more pictures on it! I was coming to the 2nd of the last tight 90 degree turn and I could see there was a mud ice track sinking way to the side, so I steered away from it on the curve. Then there was another road off this one, on the curve. I took my eyes off my road a split-second to see if there was a scene on the other road...a split-second, and I must have moved the steering wheel a micron because I felt my back wheels slip down. I stopped and then attemped to drive out real slow and it would not go forward or backward. The wheels began to spin a bit. I don't go into that. I stopped and turned off the car and got out. There was no one who was going to come thru here. I got my snow shovel out of the trunk and went to work. I had not slipped down into the muddy track and was far from it. (By not spinning my wheels.) I worked 2 hours or so clearing the wheels and did not make much progress. When I would stop and start the car, the wheels just wouldn't catch. So then I remembered something. I have front wheel drive. So I knew any rescue would have to come from the front because the back wheels are just along for the ride. So I spent another hour or so chopping with my plastic snow scrapper and snow shovel trying to clear paths down to dirt for my front wheels. The scrapper broke but I still had the stub. I got in the car and it was like night and day... in low I moved forward, got myself in the 100% middle of the road!! I got out!! Couldn't believe it and it was so easy! It was like night and day! So happy! I was going to have to call someone if this had not worked! Yes I had my cell phone. I got myself out!
That is the third time! Because I'm prone to driving in the snow and ice on back roads for pictures. First time I got stuck in way deep snow at an intersection of two country roads. The plows just drive through and another plow comes through from another road, thru the same intersection. In doing this they pile already deep snow super high and you can get stuck in that! So I went to work on shoveling just the snow and I had one more shovel to go before I tried to get out. Then a guy stopped and started shoveling for me! And then I was unstuck! But I know I would have done this myself with more shoveling. The other time I went down to this boat loading dock through icy tracks and snow. I got down alright but there were absolutely no pictures down there and I couldn't get back up the trail after. So that was another two hours of shoveling and breaking ice. Finally, I got traction up this long grade in low gear!
So thinking now, when I go out on one of these snow ice photo trips, I am going to carry an ax and/or something else to break ice, and kitty litter. My dad had an ice pick, but he loaned it to one of his friends and lost track. I wish I had it now. So that was my excitement this morning. I'm tired, starving and need to do housework before bed. I work tomorrow. Hope you can get thru this. There may be misspellings and grammar.
I haven't said anything about what is going on. Live Journal is owned by Russia (?). If this Journal goes down ...is it being seen now? Has it been seen everywhere in the past? I'm Public rated. And if it is not being seen, who is doing it, and from where? If Live Journal goes down, I will try and continue temporally at another popular blog site. Just look for "Jasperita," or "Jasperita from Live Journal." If it goes down for good, I will try and keep my temporary site for the time. If I can do that. Hopefully what is going on's purpose (among others) is not to stop the public's access to the Internet. But who knows. Because I'm not married, I don't trust much people or endeavors. I don't hate anyone, I just don't trust. And I don't feel qualified at all to write about this. I just don't know enough. Maybe moral fixes sometime. I love this journal, I hope nothing happens . Just look for Jasperita.
I don't know about this...anything! Something to think about. I don't think US is importing this. But what about everybody else? All this is known, but I'm scared of another World War and this may not even be in the works.
History and countries now. These are my ideas of this. I am not putting these ideas forth as the ultimate truth. I think this all should be discussed.
I believe that we all over the world are a bit different than our grandparents or great-grandparents...even our parents, a bit. Our parents - grandparents... generally reflected an historical country hierarchy all over the world. An organization in which countries or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or power. Wars were fought over this. I think the farther back in history you go the less tight this was. (Rulers and subservients)
War, allies, cooperation,and this organization had to happen to obtain solidarity, solid trade, safety and peace. Or you could say it was war or friendship to determine who would obtain the best or most assets or money and who would recieve less. Humanitarianism was tried to be put on top, but not always. Today most people might think that our ancestors hierarchy was a bit brutal. I think it fitted their form. What evolution had formed them to that point in time.
I think everyone today is not like, as much, our immediate and historical ancestors...because of evolution. Slight Slight evolution. We, today, are much more able to set all this down and join together in a loose, equal coalition. All try to take care of everyone, I'm hoping. All try to see to everyone's needs and do not do not see any country over another, and all will go down in history as equal. Becaue all are really more like this now and have just as much abilities as the next. (Heaven help us if another world war starts!) I'm talking about this in open theory. Devoid of any standard standing groups today. An organization where no one country or alliance takes any of the credit. Of course there are still countries now, around the world, who naturally do not feel comfortable with this. They want a top down organization. That is their form and assets and should be respected. Their mix is needed to keep all going. Vital to all. (A gene pool theory I have among others.) Highly underrated. I think most of these would like a top down organization with their local group at the top. This two-part causes problems between the two ways of thinging. The all equal, and all not equal camps.
I'm just thinking that History will see as favorable or better serviceable (with this ongoing evolution) the willingness to watch out a bit for everyone...because we are all evolutionary different from what came before. To be part of a discussion for the safety of everyone. No one will be seen as weak or "taken over." All equal. No one should be left out of assets. No one should be stripped of their country's idenity. We all trade. We are all together now. I just think this could be more of a historical truth now. Or one side of it. And I'm thinking that the recording of history is not always done by the people who are making it, but later when all is said and done. This is just an idea I have about this angle. The angle of evolution changing the operations of one generation to the next. History, as it is written, is just a recording of one political ideology and the historical term for it, to the next. Or one system of governing to the next. No one ever questions why, or skims the surface. I think evolution, as the reason why for all the ongoing changes is important and can explain the "why" for all the changes. If people's form changes from one generation to the next, so must govermnent. I worry more about over population than different governmental issues. Govermantal issues is a second worry though. Global Warming? How will the next generation govern? These are things to consider and I worry about all of this. Just my opinion.
Why is all this happening? I've got my evolution ideas down and I believe in them. But beyond that, like why this is happening, I have no clue. I don't follow much international, inter country politics. I know a bit. This was a surprise to me. I watched the middle east. I have a feeling that people do know certain things. I also know that some things must remain a secret in times of war. But no one person has ever said anything serious to me ever, throughout my whole life about politics! Not one time! There has been alot of ranting though. I'm suppose to read a book. That's not all right. Television is all I have. The news feels right and truthful. But I can't believe it 100%. Maybe many people only have TV. If someone did talk to me about this, would I believe them...? The one thing I have is the Twin Towers. Mother asked me to go out and get groceries that morning. I went on my way and stopped to get gas infront of the grocery store. When I was out of the car and at the pump. Someone I didn't know, who was just there, asked me (or in so many words) if I knew about the Twin Towers? Deep in me, I had expected and feared something big would happen. (On TV, over and over, many richer people were saying...I have this, lived or worked here, or did this, and am taking my life in my own hands.) So I drove straight home and told Mother. We watched the news all day and I got food later. I have this. Either people behind this person wanted me to know, or this blessed person saw I didn't know and cared enough to tell me. This is a good sign to remember. Now I have this journal and no one probably wants to tell me anything! Someone may be reading it. Why is this happening? Is it on the surface? Is Russia and/or Putin really trying to take back Ukraine, or as much as he can? Or are there other more far reaching reasons? ( I can't believe these other reasons becaue people are being KILLED and so much DISPLACEMENT...IN WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... Is it to lower the world wide economy in the long run for global warming or to keep population from growing. Starting with Ukraine? The troop movement from Russia on Ukraine is not an exersize anymore. I do not have any sight for the reasons for this at all. I'm really thin or translucent and I don't have any sight in this. I have no body depth. Other people seem to know what is happening. I'm always doing art, when I can. Totally watching politics would do me no good because, sometimes, politics, as most people know, does not always reflect what is going on. And it changes. But I believe the coverage in news is mostly truthful. I wait for the big stuff. So I'm watching and don't know 100% why this attack. This is horrible. I have loved Russia and Ukraine and this makes me afraid, shocked, and So sorry and So sad, and I don't want to see and know anymore. It's horrible! I want it to stop and everyone get what they need. Or sometimes what they want. But remembering some people around the world have much less.
I'm looking at all this. Why is this happening? There could be a war like this today? Love is all there should be, love and safety. Love and safety. Love and safety.
MY RECENT IMAGES ARE SHOWING TO ME, BUT THE WHOLE OF MOST OF MY OLDER POSTS ARE NOT SHOWING MY IMAGES AND HAVE PLACE HOLDERS. THIS MAY BE THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF LIVE JOURNAL. I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T TELL IF IT IS LIVE JOURNAL OR MY IMAGE HOST. I hope not I love Live Journal.I took off my background picture...now my whole journal is like I'm looking thru a cheap filter. I may move. I don't know.
I don't know about this. It's horrible. It's so horrible. What does Russia stand to lose in the future if things go on like this? It would never have happened this way, or wouldn't have happened this way. Their selling of gas etc? (Changing to renewables?) Ukraine's wheat? How much do they stand to lose? Does the average Russian really not know what is going on? Can they know? I really don't know the bigger picture.
I don't know?! How many Americans will die if Russia nukes US? I know Russia is and has killed many Ukrainians. If they up their attacks to us, it could mean many many more Americans than Ukrainian will be killed, right now! Russia wants Ukraine. There have to be people there to work Ukraine's economy. Unless they want to replace the population with Russians! (I know Russia doesn't want this, but stop and both Russia and Ukraine could have enough money.) No one is giving it to you. It's yours by natural rights.
I wish this "who must be on top of the world" would stop. Why can't Russia be assured (so they know everyone is telling the truth) that they will have enough money in the future to run their country as usual and prosper more. Their fossel fuels are being passed by with the movement of adopting renewables. (Global Warming!) With out Ukraine wheat and others, they have none of that, or will have none of it. I know Russia wants, or probably wants to stand apart and be Russian. They have done that already! This is not a handout! It is their and Ukraine's share! And Ukraine has paid the price.
Is this what happened in Germany during WWII?
Unless Russia really wants to take over the world and do away with Democracy.
I'm putting forth this idea because it could be a peaceful way out. Why do they have to kill people to get money? Sure this has never been done before - but that does not mean it can't be done this time. If your country's natural resources dry up, why do you have to lose all your country's capital and become poor and preyed on? Why does everything have to run on resource today. Safety yes, but not on natural resource if your country loses it's resources. If this keeps going people are going to think this is just a ploy to reduce worldwide population! It will grow and grow and many many many people will die all over. You can't kill people if you honestly lose your money. Something needs to supplant that, even if, in history, this has happened. My idea is those people in history that lost their capital, crops, or warfare, were better able to absorb that loss in their historical form. They went on somehow because all is good and I have so much good inside me in this sea of love and wonder. Today, because of evolution, we don't get as much internal river as they did and it is not as right that we get so cut off.
I'm probably blowing this way out of proportion. Probably didn't need to write this. Don't know. Had to write it.
Having trouble getting in. I don't know about next time.
I watch News everyday and can't do a thing about it. I don't have money enough, I don't have any physical energy or strength to go and help. I know more of what is going on, but really don't know any more than that. I pray it stops. I wish I was rich and had a nice big house and could help some refuges. This house is too small and crowded. I am not living a nightmare that I am going to die like some Ukraine people, but I don't feel great sometimes. My outside work is on hold as it is too cold. My small real cheap cell phone went off it's service and I'm trying to get another cheap one. (I have some photography stuff, I'm not going to get a wonder phone...I can't.) It would be a wonder to have the Internet. A dimmer light switch broke in the house and I'm trying to fix it. I know nothing about this, but I'm going to try. My dad used to fix these. I hope I don't kill myself. I hope I can come back here. These are very old dog photos...like 2004! One taken at a show, one a park, and the last is a farm dog. They fit in with the above Collie! I'm going to try and finish a drawing now. I finally got my computer back working. Maybe some new drawings. If I can't get back here, look for a Jasperita. If I can't get back here, I can't tell you the new site.
I'm waiting for the yard to dry out before I try and start the mower. The battery has been out, it's good or bad, but I couldn't remember if I put treatment in the gas tank and ran it last fall. Your carburetor can gum up. I have been working with the computer since my hard drive failed. I need to update something to get something to work and implement something else to get something else to work. Everything else is spot on. Before Hard Drive I had been smelling the lightest hints of burning. I turned the display way down and cleared out behind the computer. Not one hint today. Now I have to place what was behind the computer. That will be hard. It's working fine. I'm under a new operating system. Gee it's cold. Going to eat something. I would like to clean out the door of the refrigerator. Drawing. Trying to use new materials together with pencil.
How Much More Of This Is Going To Happen!
Why did he get in that school? There should be a guard at the door...The doors should be locked...Do we have to do away with windows at schools! I guess so. Should we have only online learning? Those kids could not get out. We have to shop! Why assault weapons? Why not better background checks? We are in trouble, this is not going to get better. It's going to happen and happen, and the more it happens, the more we will Have To Do Something! How much is it going to happen?! We have to do something! We have to trust! We have to be safe! We have to be able to operate some type of system that provides for us!
Something has to be done about gun reform and the age at which you can buy a gun. We can't sit here and watch innocent children get killed, people die in grocery stores, church...etc. Sweet little kids who have done nothing to anyone! Are trapped and get gunned down! Killed! Over and over! What about people with problems and are aggresive? Anything to head that off. Maybe its better not just to walk away from something that looks like something, but nothing has happened. The youngest have a kind cover, who knows what they will become. Who knows what they are thinking, who knows if they will change for the better while they are growing up. And growing up is not all easy. But it all comes back to the guns. I'm afraid that as Covid has been scaling down, people somehow connotate that with attacks or terrorism. It's all settling down. I don't think it is.
If you can't protect your kids. My kids would still be online for school. And that is just as bad - where is their socialization!
This blue sky today...it unique! I've seen it before! It's a more conservative blue - not the blue sky blue...it is beautiful, backed with traces of black and violet - it is so beautiful - I think it only happens in spring. I love this blue sky, I wish it would happen more:)
Sorry about background. I've got a million things to do and I want to photo and I've got a million things to do!
Sitting here and lost a day. But I got help with my yard. Wonderful and much needed as I am tired. I need shoes for work so I'm going to check that out, but that means I can't go where I wanted. Because the last 24 hrs or more there has been something again in the air. Not outside air - so far - but coming thru the pipes. Something has been in the drinks and food also. Drinks bad, food not so much. I tried to eat a potato last night and it had so much iodine tasting stuff in it I threw it away. I don't eat all these foods as a rule if I can help it. Spring has sprung and it is wonderful. Now I only have to get the mower going (oil change & battery in) and other lesser jobs. Might as well go somewhere and breathe good air and eat food. It only affects me because I'm fine and other people don't even know sometimes! So how can I call police, although I have thought about it, or testing. And who do you belive with testers? We, or I didn't not have ANY bad air all winter, and that is when it came last time. Well to the bath, and another day, hoping drawing at end. Videos have been helpful! But befor bath Eat! And not tainted food.
xxxxHINT! Is it universal that grocery stores do not sanitize the coin return slot on the auto checkout??? That has to be the most germ ridden place in the world! Swiping your hands to get the coins! I gave management a suggestion but thought I would put that out here because it would be the easyiest thing to fix in the world! Gas stations? Some do wipe the gas handles and button places...how about your credit card slots & swipes, wipe the germs off the card and edges!
I just changed my background for spring. Highlight the text if you want to read it. The black font really does not show up. Highlight it and you can make it out to read. Thought this would be a break for awhile!
Sitting here, cold, with a dead new dragonfly which I found on garage floor. It came to and I thought to put it back out before it flew away in the house, but the cup blew off outside and I found it on the ground with it's legs folded in the death position, before the cold came here. I would have kept it in til it warmed up. If I had known. Maybe it's too early for them to leave the water. We have cold and it snowed! I was going somewhere but don't want to drive on wet residue salt roads. I've been hard at work as usual and I can't talk about it. Sometimes the only time I miss a family is when I get hungry and eat. It pulls everything together:)
Don't worry, I will try and put my more refined background up. I wish I was drawing! I am getting my winter pictures into folders and have more work. I kept a lot of them (have been deleting some before this) the snow flakes were good for backgrounds I thought. I sometimes feel I need to be in photography or drawing, it's hard to do both.
Bright sunny spring morning! Birds are silent. Are they silent because we are unhappy? It is not cold today, does it take them that long to recover? As usual I have been holed up inside - days, trying to get something else together. And I managed to get picture folders done, but files need names, so I changed to indexing because I couldn't help it! :)
Saved a little turtle. Crossing the road inside city limits. I had three cars behind me and truck coming. I would have run over him if I had not stopped. Honk! I hoped their frustration stopped when they saw what I was holding. I ran back so fast and took off so they could get going. I hoped no one else showed up to stop me! No one did. That happens more out in the country with no traffic. I get that from Dad. He saved turtles crossing the road. I hoped I would not see a squashed turtle on the way back from work - I took another route. Yesterday there was nothing. :)
There is usually one night of frogs or toads. These one nights they are all crossing the road. One time I was on my way home from afar and they were all crossing. I had to drive very slow (country roads) and search for any dark objects in the road the whole time. I saved some. Hearing frogs trilling spring nights is so wonderful.
Last day of work. Another beautiful sunny spring day -- Swifts up in the air? Why do they need to call when in flight? Maybe they do something like bats to find prey. A beautiful spring morning and the birds are not silent today!
I don't know, or have anything to put in here now, I'm starting my summer photo macros and wonder why I need to be in Photography and Drawing because I don't have time or energy for both. Esp. since I have to index my photos and take care of a house and a part time job. So I was going to put this here...
This is the progression of one picture I had for my class. It looks just like it looked because I followed about every movement of the teacher. It would take me a long time to shift over only to what was being taught. I am remembering this way of building up a drawing and will try and experiment with it along the way. Because I feel I am still too exact. The features are almost perfect because they were placed. This represents something about myself and drawing. What I learned that I'm really happy about. I am so light and translucent of body that I finally discovered a truth about me and drawing. Most other artists are not as frail as me. They can draw better from the get go. I can draw well for simple subjects...fruit, teddy bears...but when a critical more complicated object or composition comes into the picture my drawing of it falls off in time. I really can't place a backboneish line to bring it all together again. So I returned to my beginning days of tracing. I don't trace but trace parts of the original image (photo/cell phone photo) onto a pieace of acyrlic glass and then look through it onto my own drawing. If I can hold the glass still enough while looking through it, I can trace the needed line onto my drawing. It does not need to be perfect. This gets my drawing right back on track while not interfering with the looseness. I've never heard of this and no one would sign off on it...maybe when they saw me. I'm so happy this works because I would have faced a dead end for subject matterlike like this otherwise. And added drawing practice will not get me any further, I'm sure. I'm so happy I discovered this. It's like an acomplishment. But I also cringe everytime I've talked about this because I'm afraid newbies to drawing will hop on this trick instead of learning to draw from practice. And they may have 100% of the groundwork needed to totally draw by hand!
More somber, because I put this up here I fear I will never get paper like this again. It will still be this paper but dry as cardboard. Maybe not. I can't eat anything. If I get something, I never is the same again. Not as really delicious to horrible. It is always more common with something in it to spoil the taste so it will psycologically hold me back. I just ate some rice that tasted like human was mixed in! I can't wash my clothes well because there is acid in our water. My clothes dissolve. You have heard about the fumes in my house. I feel like not paying my bills and going to jail. Maybe this is the way of getting me out of the way. I always find someone or something to be on my side so far. So maybe I will find other paper. It is like some people want to define art as only one way and get rid of the rest. Well maybe this will get better. I don't know. In class we had to draw this from a picture. I'm not used to charcoal, but I can work with it. It is easier to erase!
THE BEST IN ART
Again, I believe that anyone who loves art, is “serious” can be great, be recorded and stuff. And everyone is not judged in a top to bottom way. Everyone can be equal. By “serious” I mean loves and values art, not make fun or degrade it, wants to do it. Or sometimes wants to do it. It is not a lark. This can’t be a laugh, you should really care about this and feel hurt if you were to see only a few people in this.
Only a few people in history were chosen to be THE ARTIST’S. (And they usually were dead when this happened. And during their lifetimes most of the established art world’s hair stood on end to think these new “artists” could ever be admitted to this level!) I believe this kind of top down order was done in the past - because it reflected the truth of the matter. There were a very few serious artists and the other want to be(s) really didn’t give it a thought when they didn’t become one. They never looked back and this didn’t not mar anything about their mental state for the rest of their lives. It did not, in the end make them hurt or sad. They went on and had a full life, bar none.
So I think this way of doing things in the past was a true way of choosing or filtering for artists. Today so much is done exactly as it was in the past. I’m not questioning this or putting it down, I just think things should be looked at to see what things might be done more true to form today. Things can’t be a 100% reflection from generation to generation. We can reflect the past, but I don’t think completely 100% every time, every last instance.
So like I said. Go ahead, do art, learn about it, practice and create, love it. Don’t be worried that you seem to be good at one thing and not another. I don’t think anyone in our generation can be good at all facets of art. You are fogged over at finding the truth because in the past there tended to be a few artists alone, and they were good, or mostly good at everything. Maybe they were good at mostly everything but not drilled down in it. You will be breaking new ground. Forget the trumpeted admonishments of new composition or creative subject matter as the peak of human endeavor in art! That too is a human idea. A good idea to direct things in the past, but not exactly the ongoing truth now? There is a time for going ahead in nature and a time for resting and generating new things from that. Who is to say which is best? The idea also, that only the present art is the best, or the past art is the best I don’t believe. Always looking for the best. This practice probably was used to keep our pre-historic brethren safe from lions, tigers, bears…etc. But in art? Art to teach, art to record, art to inspire, art to look at – just like a sunset. Should we put so much importance in trying to find out “the best now?” What is the “best” in our generation? Maybe theirs, but ours, now? We are only a product of physics/nature or God . And that goes on and on to it’s own. And right now I don’t think things in art should always be so top to bottom. So restricted. What are we restricting… the truth? I think there is more than room for all types of artists who care. This is only my opinion. Everyone can make up their own mind. I just have ideas and want to add to the general discussion. Hope you have fun making art.
World Turtle Day was last Sunday. We need to help our sea turtles. Fewer and fewer tracks on beaches. An idea would be to ban activities that hurt turtles (and probably others- including us!) on great swaths of ocean. I think it is a great idea because I don't live by an ocean and turtles seem okay where I live and I don't think of the sea. I wish I had more money to donate! People all around the would are doing a lot of work to clean up our seas.
Reminds me of my dad who to make me feel good, because I wasn't fast told me a childhood story!... A turtle and a fox were in a race. Everyone knew who would win! Well the race started and the fox took off and was out of sight before you knew it. Left the poor turtle to slowly lumber forward. The fox ran and ran and ran until he was so far ahead of the turtle and knew he would win, that he became bored with the whole thing and decided to take a nap. The poor turtle kept slowly and slowly step by step moving forward. The turtle kept at it though. He kept slipping and sliding forward inch by inch. He never gave up, he kept going. After a very very very long time the turtle reached the fox who was deep asleep. The turtle passed the sleeping fox and then won the race!!! So keep that in mind you who are out there and are not getting anywhere! Although I don't 100% like putting this up because I think we need both fast and slow people. But that is the fable my dad told. There should be one about fast people not fearing die hards also. I think we should do more with animal conservation and tree and natural plant conservation. I was thinking how beautiful the area around were I live could be or was in the past, while little by little it is disappearing.
Was out in force yesterday photoing. I got more insects than I thought I would! But then there was going home and I had so much work piled up to do. Sunday was yard, but Monday was inside. I worked from when I got home from photos until late at night straight! And then I drew a picture! I got everything done except the car. It needs outside and inside cleaned. I thought I could not walk today, but so far I can. I'm out in a lounge chair today (among others) and that becomes boring and relaxing. I really wish I could do photo indexing outside.
Here's one! I've been talking about 'we are only born to burn energy' like the sun etc... It probably depressed some people. I'm sorry, my head is full of things and I think you know them too. Probably most people do. So why do I write it in here?! Anyway my head thinks whatever it thinks and here is another depressing thought, but it turns out to be a ray of solid hope to me!
So I've grown up like you - follow all the new astronomy discoveries. I've grown up in the age of discoveries and follow it all. Each time you find out a new truth, whether it be from telescope ... study, rover, probe, or new technologies, you change. Your ideas change, you put together the new knowledge with what you already know. Somtimes the new supplant the old. The old framework of your knowledge of the universe now has a few new parts growing it together. The questions you have about the universe now spring from the new knowledge foundation. (Such as the more recent truth that the universe itself is made up of the same elements everywhere, not just here on earth. Correct me - this may not be 100%. We may not have every last element here. But the biggest share are everywhere!) You keep going with this new knowledge...seeing to the edge and the birth of our galaxy, the Milky Way, black holes, black hole at the center of our universe!
So you keep asking the same questions thru your new knowledge. What is the cosmos? Why is it? How did it come to be? I was running through this lately and finally had the thought... Why does there have to be anything? And that is depressing. Of course...this can be answered by:
The cosmos always was and always will be. But we are too human! We always have to have a "nothing absence 0" from which to start our calculations to establish our intellectual relationships so we can add up the world around us. We have to have a starting point. We can not concieve of a ultimate relationship or structure that contains everything and has always been and will always continue. We can not concieve it. We can't concieve that this has always been. We have to have a starting point. We have to put everything into a place. So Universes and suns can come and go but what they are in has always been maybe. There is no starting point. It has always been and always will be. It is everything. It is everything. It is everything. The cosmos always was and always will be. Maybe the big bang was not so all encompassing. This could be one explaination for what the cosmos is all about. It just always was, peroid.
Then I could ask the question of this - why does this "contains everything" cosmos, that always was, why does even this have to be????????? Why does even this have to be? Why does there have to be anything, why does there have to be anything at all? Why does there have to be anything??? This is depressing and some of you think I'm cracked to think it, but I'm thinking it!
Here is the turn around...there is something! I don't understand alternate universes, but I'm into the here and now and there is matter, gravity, elements! We are! There is not nothing! There is something everywhere as far as we have looked! This would not be true in the 'Why does there have to be anything' idea. This truth will stand. You can't deny that. There is Something. This is a great telling truth and starting point to understand what the universe is. You could say that someone is making this all up in an alternate universe, but they have to be there to make it up! If we are an alternate universe, there is matter in it. We are here and that is a elemental truth. A fact, or building of the cosmos. And to me that is not depressing. This opens the hope for heaven and seeing my parents again etc. I haven't brought God into this. He probably, as the Bible forefathers said, made the world. So whether we are an echo of the burning sun or not, we are here and we can think and discover and do everything humans do and want to do. We are not just burning energy. There is something when there doesn't have to be. There is something. :)
I'm out shooting today and yesterday. Plenty of flowers. I didn't get caught in the rain today. My back is so tired. You have no idea of the tension you have to use 100% of the time when shooting and carrying on to the next photo. I wanted to take along a brace tripod because of wind, but I couldn't do it. I have a sun unbrella, but I have that so it is slug with a strap across my chest. Didn't need it today! I got the house straightened around and batteries charged so I was ready to go out. I see some wildlife. Two Blue Heron, doe with two fawns crossing the road. I thought the doe was past and then I saw the fawns. I wonder if I saw the doe as a fawn, but that was a long time ago. Rabbits, hege hogs, not photoing but on the road. Birds and I wasn't quick enough to get that shot. I'm remembering to focus stack some photos now. I can't do them, but someone has the raw elements to lend a bit more focus into areas. I lost my mosiquito repellent right out of pocket. I've got to tie that on my pants somehow. I'm lucky, I still have the almost gone first bottle, because the mosiquitos would not leave my alone. I have a pair of knee pads which are a real luxury when I have to get on my knees for shooting. By far, the worst thing is continually have to adjust the tripod legs and keep the camera safe while doing it. I always have a hand around the camera, even while it is on the tripod! It is nice, but I keep filling up cards and they have to be proccessed somehow. Now with this stacking it's getting worse. The only thing is to delete more. I'm trying. But I have to keep decent pictures. RSVP I tried to put a changed color background in here and the saved background looked changed or horrible, I'm waiting on that. Playing around, I got it changed. Maybe I did it too many times. I'll have to keep this for awhile and then change to something else. Back to the one that was on. I wanted it blue blue, it didn't go on right or something!
We had a warm spell early in the spring that lasted. I think it killed dragonflies. I don't see many. I'm so busy, did I already talk about this? I feel like all the pros are out there getting in the wild insect shots, who didn't have a warm spell - and many more shots than me. This really depresses me. I have some shots but there are not many dragonflies even yet. But I haven't been out in a week real good. Now at this time I have computer problems and can't get any pictures up. I don't know when I will. I wish my name was on their pictures - I wish everyone could all be under the same name. That's an idea! I will try, but it will be a stunt. I just don't have any time to do much. It's been a great summer with more to come and I've got landscapes. Everything is such a deep green, deeper and darker than I have ever seen!
I was going to see a relative but we had another storm. A tree in front was demolished. One half went in the road and the other over the drive. I mean we had trees and cover all up the street...the whold town was blown down in trees! This storm traveled and leveled other towns with tree damage. There was close lightning too. Sometimes I would wish to live in a more tepid weather area. Our storms can be so vicious. Nothing stays the same and your afraid your going to die, even when you head for the basement. I couldn't get the car out. My neighbor and I devised a plan to cut some minor limbs so I could back out and drive through his yard to get out. The tree is in a dangerous position and I'm waiting for tree service. Crews can only do so much, even with others coming in from other places. I now can get food. And something else has ended and I'm trying to piece that together with not the outcome from working, as sometimes is the case. I'd like to get in the car and drive as far from here as I can, see someone and have a mini vacation with laughs and adventure and excitement.. I need to force myself though, to wash the kitchen floor and look at pictures. I need to get out. Anyway, on to the floor!!!!!!!!!!
The tree really went in thirds. 1/3 on the road, 1/3 on the drive, and 1/3 still standing. It won't live. I'm still dealing with it. Write more when I can. You should see the damage all over. Our county has or is trying to declare dasaster. You go out in the country and see all the trees down in woods, along road and down on people's property. Our town is a mess. The roads are bordered with tree debris. And this is not just here, it is many other places, maybe like a swath across part of the state. The crews really have it hard. They are asking that only people with trees on the house or blocking the drive be serviced first. Other tree people around the state...have volenteered to come and help. We haven't lost everything but there is damage along the way in spot after spot as you drive along. My tree was very old. Someone a long time ago had planted maples all along our street. You could tell this more when I was a kid. Many have been cut. Now the last are all but gone. Mine was one of the last. I feel like I want to be in that pioneer world and plant mapels all up and down the trail again! I live on land that was part of a farm. I know where the foundation of the farm house or barn was. Maybe the farmer planted the trees!
We are having more storms...just us! This is not random. I don't think so...maybe???? I looked further and there were popup and in many places over time. Conditions are right. I don't know. It's today and tommorrow... I got some house cleaning done. That's it. This is a heat box ready for storms!
The tree is taken care of. I don't want to go home. I asked if I could be away when they cut the rest of it down and I could. I covered my eyes to go back and write the check. I'm sure they will remember me because I broke down and covered my eyes. But they are paid. I don't want to go home until it is dark, but have no where to stay that long. I suppose I can cover my eyes and draw the drapes. I wish this had never happened. Inside the trunk it was so hollow and looked rotten, so the guys who cut it said it had been dying for a long time. The huge hole from where the other 2/3 fell was most of a side the trunk. It never would have lived. I don't believe this. Like a family member said, I won't have to rake it's leaves or shovel the salted road snow in the winter to help the tree live. I'm sure the neighbors and any passer by thought I was nuts shoveling snow in the front yard. But I heard salt was bad for trees. I need to get away and calm down. The 1/3 that was cut today could have fallen on the house if the wind had been right. We had another storm last night and I thought it would or might fall then, but it didn't. It's a wonder I got any sleep last night. That is where the tree would have fallen. I was planning to move the bed to another part of the house, but the service came this mornng. Probably because there was a chance it would fall and if you could have seen how gutted it was from the first 2/3 fall, it was going to go anytime. Like I said, I'd like to get away and put this behind me, but that is going to take some time. I don't know how long it takes for a tree to die. ;(
I'm sorry no drawings. I wanted to finish one but I have been trying to take bug & flower pics and that tires me out and then this tree fell. The electricty went out and I had to shift all my bedroom and studio so the tree would not fall on it. Then I couldn't pass up the chance to deep clean in there. I just got everything back. Watching the Kabul attack. Also I have another problem I can't talk about now until that is fixed. So I am behind. But it has been wonderful before to be walking among birds and insects and flowers. A beautiful beautiful summer. I have never seen it so deep green around here.
Are humans controling the weather with tec? Or is it global warming, or nature alone, or right now the hurricane. Or some of all? I don't know, but since highschool, the weather I knew has not been exactly the same. Global warming? I don't know. I wish this heat bowl would go. I like heat, and summer, but not this much. I wish I could draw. I will have to grow new grass next spring. It must be dead under all the tree stack. I don't know why I am unsettled, it will have sun. Well got to get going, I hope Louisiana doesn't get hit hard.
They got all the tree picked up. I never looked. The stump is something else. The stump is rotten. It's probably a good thing it is down. But it was my friend and the remaining standing 1/3 would have fallen on the house. I was trying to clean up the drive and a storm came up. I'm so scared about storms. It's great that I got the roof blown. Glad all that is done. I'm scared we are going to have another storm tonight.
Still waiting to get something else in here. Fall is whirling by and leaves in back are some. It's raining and I could do some things in the rain outside if I could have the time... wheew! Now I'm trying to replace a molding strip on the garage door. I got really involved in a kind of side research today and didn't pick up food things or paint. Trying to do that. I haven't felt like drawing, but I did the yard yesterday. The car is done, lawnmower oil not changed, paint chips not done...don't want to do peak and the raking will be less this year. Also I don't have to shovel salted snow from plows in the front yard...no dying tree. Maples don't like salt. Glad because everyone driving by must have thought I was nuts to see me shoveling snow from the front yard!!!
Something was wrong with my computer. Not had it back yet because with tree fall and computer I am out of it. I've been trying to catch fall photos. It's been so dark here, warm, but rain and silence. I've gone out to find landscapes because I want to draw some and don't have enough. Doing landscapes I noticed there were still some ending flowers and occasional insect. No one out except occasional bow hunter. I wore red. Sometimes I'm on back road and sometimes a park. I tried macro of flowers and shot a Skipper (type of butterfly or moth), grasshopper, and fly. The hopper and fly were down in the grass, both good pictures. I got a few nice landscapes before today. More than that. I try and delete the obvious on camera and delete again when I see them on computer. I really need some way to see the photo bigger and without the light & glare in the field. Even with glasses I can't see my small camera screen well enough to get into macros. You can stack or insert things into a edited photo, but sometimes it comes down to the exact apreture. And I'm always trying to guess or bracket. Sometimes bracketing is the only way...if an insect will stay in place. They're dumpy now but if you get too close, they stiffen and move off. So much beauty all around. When taking the skipper he moved off and down the way. I started forming flower weed vistas with him. Didn't want to burn up too many pics so I turned to standup and he was right in front of me! I feel sad, I've a warm car to go to and they are all dying. Maybe some younger ones are not. I saw this spot in one of my landscapes and it was a dragonfly flying! Kind of cute, but I didn't get many. Maybe tomorrow. I got the computer fixed and I'm catching up on photos, but the house needs touch up painting outside and that is not happening. Rain gets me out of it. But I'm not missing photos. And lately the only good photo weather is when I have to work. And an art supply I have been looking for was right before me in a store yesterday. I got it and it works just like it should!
Working like a pig as usual. Internet research. Twarted sometimes by help answers being read from a script (which takes care of most answers...but never some of mine) and no delveing into the software. So I solider on. Sometimes the absense of this Internet answer over multiple results is telling and helps. Also you have to improvise, trick, or reword querys, or even go to a store or computer repair. Even hands on a display model! Things sure are not the way they were. I correct that because I have not recieved my model yet! But when I read in so many reviews people lamenting about their older model of electronics being so much better in aspects, I begin to see a drift. It doesn't help when I also see cheaper material in clothes, less tasty food, and less well constructed marketing choices from a good share of merchendise being presented now! I hate this overall target consumerism! It's not benefiting a share of all the people out there. I'm not saying a small share, I'm saying a share that should have another product choice. But there again, I am probably not in the right place. There are sometimes better made choices, often residing in higher priced stuff. Thinking goes, an older person, or whoever, can now afford it...wouldn't they want to do some traveling?
So I'm stuck on the internet day after day hoping to fish this out. Shouldn't I have an advisor? I'm telling you, whoever wants more money - more money is nothing without an advisor if your choices are more delving than the obvious presented. That should be part of the "more money."
I need to take more photos...height of color. It's been raining and that complicates and builds the tension. I'm now going to wash up and go downtown to try and tick things off my list. But I might take pictures. I missed the morning. My phone just went off. No one on my contact list. I couldn't log on, but then I could???????? Got to go it's foggy out. I was going to bring up one thing. (?) Our weather is not exactly like it was. The change of seasons is now completely gradual. There were more pulses. Is this global warming or is it being made that way? This doesn't seem to be hurting anything, but I don't know, ...could the absence of any pulses of higher tempretures and then colder as it becomes colder be hurting anything unseen? Like animals, bacteria, future weather? I don't know, maybe not, but I wonder if this little change, might not be so little? I really don't know and I thought I would throw that in there. This really threw me that I could not get in, or log on here. I hope it was a fluke. I tried to log on and it said I was temporarily banned. But then I tried again and got in.
This is an older photo. I think it is film. I changed my plans, I didn't make it out this morning. It was pretty but I had to miss it. I hope to blow the roof this morning and later tonight I hope to find someone to pick up something heavy that fell and I can't lift it. This is a cute photo-not displayed quite big enough. I know not enough about this kind of thing (I could have posted it bigger) and I don't have time-with all I have and want to do, to learn more. It's 100% color doesn't show as much in this size. I got some older photos. Might post some of those. With the big tree gone in the front, I have not needed to rake much. I've just mowed. I suppose I should do the roof and eves. There is more to come. I have this premonition there will be a lot of snow this winter. Not like this. Do you remember the first time you saw snow! My mother told me about this and I ran to the window each morning to see if it had snowed. Finally I saw snow for the first time! Mother was wonderful and let me go out and touch it and stuff. It was that mottled first snow. Going over my pictures in here-I'm not even getting the composition 100% maybe!!!! In the last entry, the last two snow fog landscapes before the snowman portrait. The third to last set needs the background tree band narrowed on the left and maybe the brown weed buds out(?) Have to see it. The last one needs the sun out(?) This makes me mad. I thought it was right on when I put it up! As I said...getting better all the time. My body is re-building it'self the way it was suppose to be and never was. I don't know. But I hate to see fleck off things in here when I've already edited the picture. But in those I was just running reality, not a gallery photo.
I'm still waiting on going. I used the time to really get caught up around here on leaves and the roof, then it was bills and bank statements. I'm swamped with all the work around here! I thought the bank had made a mistake on my statement (it never has) but I had added a check in twice by mistake. I tried and tried to go over it on every detail but they had to find it. I'm not 100% with math, I have never been. I do my statements with a calculator and I do it by myself to see if the total matches and that works good. All I can say is I have not had a problem in a long time, and being me, I should be happy about that. Got to go, I've got more business downtown and there is probably a bit of yard when I get back. This is starting to peve me off - I never am rested enough to draw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did go back to the library to renew an online subscription. It finally took. That did work. would rather email them back, but I don't think they have the option to edit the email or delete it. Onward with slave driver! I am trying to put some new pics in here but I have a fixed computer to face and I'm really scared to try it. This is such a big deal. I figured after turkey day sometime and leaves and I was trying to aquire something else. Have a real happy Thankgiving!
Pictures I put in here just mix the mark sometimes! Not fine enough-boxy! It's this rebuild. They have a great thing going on, but are left too boxy. Sometime I will have to fix or sample fix one. I'm still not well enough to know how to fix my drawings 100% to the end. I'm better, so more is being fine tuned at the end, but not all. It's funny! My thrust to get looser is going great! It's doing just what it should with practice and drawing pictures. I'm loosing up with every drawing! I'm getting paint in on it! I'm distorting pictures and all the while remembering where I came from! They are looking more spontaneous and relaxed. I just still can't finish a picture down 100% yet! In college I couldn't miss finishing up a drawing everytime. But then I was just copying with my eye. Then something in my body collapsed and I have been rebuilding little by little all my life! While picking up drawing in the last few years. I think I have a birth condition that didn't start until I stopped growing. And it's correcting itself!! The worst part, it took away art...until the last few years. I had two teachers show us how to shade an apple to look round. My apples looked good! After this slip I couldn't see to do it. I couldn't do it at all! I'm doing better at that. Can't get myself to do anything last few days. I have to clean carpet. Yesterday was really warm! I've got the yard done already, but you know the leaves still blow in. Who is going to keep up with that. Got to go down town. Glad I don't gain weight, all I have done is eat! As usual no time to draw.
Walking in clouds and the cloud is going to disappear. I've been working on my stuff and I'm glad it's colder and I'm left alone for some time before I have to go back to my part-time job. The outside yard is done. I warmed the mower battery and cleaned up leaves. I thought the mower or battery would explode. I called someone. I am not smart and need help. It didn't explode. I should have gone online. I had to back up the light though.
I'm drawing (while not taking photos) and am getting much out of practice. I want to get connected. I have no friends in art. Working on it goes slow. But when you have worked on it for awhile, wow it really takes off! I also don't want to lose realism! It's getting fun! And interesting. Rewarding! But it doesn't always go well, but when you have done some drawings, it's way easier to take chances and grow.
I haven't cleaned the carpets. I wish I didn't have them sometimes. There is wood underneath, but haven't had the time for any of that. I'm going to need room to paint if I keep going like this. I can't slop it off my bed like I've been doing. That was alright when I was just drawing. I can stand at an easel, but sitting has to be done on a bed or couch. I never did get a drafting table until garage sale. And so far it has only been used as an entrance table to put groceries on. It's none the worse though. I have a drafting table. Most of the time I drew on my knees with my cat by the window. I miss college.
Got some fog shots. I have to lighten them. I got 1/3 of a thing done. Yen for a sandwich spread sandwich and it was really good! I've never seen such gradual weather! Got drawings done, or as far as I could and that is farther !! HAPPY!! To show how far that is, I'm finishing drawings out! Not all and not to the end, but just about there. That is what this thing is - I get better and it gets better. So right now, on cue, there is something in all the food to slow down the metabolism. I feel it right away. I'm getting tired of all these blocks. Especially around a holiday...Xmas. I want different people to come in and test the water and air. Most people are unaware that something is in the food. I'm sensitive and I'm aware right away. Some people don't want me to do art. Because of Covid I can't work the church lunch and I have one more day off. I just don't rebound as quick as other people from work. And with all the responsibilities of taking care of this house, I'm usually too tired to do much. I just get past leaves and mowing and shopping and something else starts dragging me down. I don't want to work, but it is just part time. And if I didn't something else would appear somewhere to tired me out without it affecting anyone else. So in all happyiness, I have gotten some artwork done. I wish I could arrest these people who are responsible for this. It is a crime. Or not be subject to it. Just like the dog business... I walk into a store and the owner's huge shepard runs like he is going to attack. He was going to jump me. The owner murmurs offhand to the dog and the dog runs into me without doing anything. That dog is like a past police attack dog. I say, Why don't you keep that dog shut in a room while your here!? He says, "I'm not going to do that!" That's when I called police to give them the heads up to what was going on in that store. And if he was shutting down the store, I got in the door with no trouble and didn't know the store was going out of business. But I don't know! I'm sure this was aimed at me, but what if it had been a young mother and small child? I'll tell you right now, many people around here don't like me taking photos and drawing. I'm sure they have had time enough to locate me somewhere else. All my life!! It's against the law to stop me from doing it. I obey the laws. And if in a general sense it causes bad vibes...others are doing art, and again, why have I not been moved or helped? I can't support myself with these jobs. So then if you want to look at it as a disability, why do I not have friends in art like me? Why am I not connected to a serious artist community? Why do I not have a job I can do in art? Why is everything my fault? Why am I not helped? I think some people would like to call it a disability, but I don't think it is yet. I got sick with somthing that is still trying to correct itself in college and doctors took blood pressure and heartbeat and said nothing was wrong. One doctor even said, "If you keep saying something is wrong, I'm going to put you in a mental institution!" He did not because my mother was alive and sitting there. So our hospital has closed and Kalamazoo is the closest or where I have heard many go. I sometimes think I am a political prisoner. But I'm not in a prison. Just a prison of not having any like minded friends. I'm on the verge of going many places and asking for help. I should not be having to eat laced food. I should be connected to somthing. I'm wishing Christmas was over. Happy my body works wonders with each picture. In the future my mind will know more of my true relationship to drawing and paint. If I don't get back here before Christmas, to everyone else out there, really do have a Merry Christmas! Love Val
Some snow views from last pile up. They’re all edited. The best one I couldn’t run. Without a solid composition, they are more towards a record of the snow. But pretty. My skies of this sort have wrinkles. I either don’t know how to utilize Photoshop fully, or it lacks. I ended up taking panoramas but I wasn’t serious enough about it looking for one shots. I didn’t have the right lens on for panoramas and my version of Photoshop doesn’t deal with this as well. I ended up having two suns in one shot! That was hell editing and that is where the skies come from! I couldn’t even them out enough – you have to read that into the composition! He Ha – not 100%. Don’t want to flatten or blur them too much either. Look back this summer and cool off! It was fun being out. But I think I’d like medium format for landscapes. You know I want the television’s stuff. Turn the lights out and watch the beauty shots of Blue Planet etc… it will look more like they took it but I swear they have the BEST glass and in the background a exquisite subtle way of warping the pictures. And I don’t mean global warping either. And I’m sure they can just call that up. Or is it varying renditions of standard lens? I need that in these pictures. Hope you enjoy, it’s just snow conditions over normal fields etc I had fun with Photoshop this time and it made me mad too. I never know if it is me or it! I’m still learning new things as I go. This time I used the history brush for the first time, learned a new way to select a row etc, and looked more into the blur filter. Have fun and get a serious book on it…and get a “idots” too. Also look on the Internet. All will discuss tools and other things in (their own words) and with all those different voices you may understand the one thing you don’t. Also ask a guru. I made the zoomed in cartoon's lips smaller in the last entry, but didn't look good. Tried new backgrounds, but haven't had time to mull over that:)
I got a couple more. A fine tune adjustment and I don't know how.
In all my talk about photography I forgot abut the virus. I'm sure some people would love to get away from it and delve into something else. But concerning the virus, if I had a kid, I would not want him to attend school this fall. I would rather him or her would go online. I know, no socialization but nature has built in socialization. You know when you like someone, they just are not being with all the others, which is probably just as important. They have got the computer and it's camera, but going somewhere where there is strict social distancing for conversation would be nice. Young kids need this far more than married adults. Everything is new. Love to compare notes with their frends and group. As for the virus. I don't know what route they are taking. Because without a vacine (which I am scared of) no matter how much you get the virus to go down, it is so infective, it will just spring back up. I heard another idea a few months ago talking about letting it come in waves, and then backing up, so the people who get sick on a succesive wave will have room in a hospital and equipment. This probably would work but sounds as it sounds - horrible way to kill this. I don't like vacines because this is all being done so fast. By my own age group. And everyone is going to get it. I'd almost prefer a dead version rather than a weakened strain. But today maybe it is genetically altered. And I'm sure the virus is natural from bats. I have to say it. We can come together. What is everyone afraid of? Less money? Less job preference? Less credit for accomplishments? Life is built on everything, it is built on all types. Hopefully we stand together against this virus. Because that is the enemy. We are walled from much of life, but it bore us and you can't always be on top of life. Hopefully we get around it. So far that is what I feel. I wear a mask when I go out unless I forget to put it on, which is easy to do when you have been home and free from it. I keep it in my purse. It is hard to keep breathing through it though, for me. But I am sensitive to carbon. I guess the fall scare may not be as much because in the top heat of summer the virus shot up again when people started getting together again. I think the butterflies need work but I just don't have the time yet. My back went out. See what it looks like in the morning.
Summer tilt time. Mirror reverse. So reflected in macros. Brown things. Fields reflect every ongoing change, every summer moment. You can pinpoint the month just by looking at them. Bees bad humor. Flowers not pristiene condition. Bugs back up and leave after one shot. But some insects have mated and have time to play. Dragons move their heads just as shutter trips or they get into the game and alight everywhere giving me more poses, and they wait there, letting me take pics!!!! They know I think they are beautiful. So different than in early summer when only fatique or curosity let them stay for a minute or two. The dam deer have antlers. Thought of taking a temp photo setup in the field but my first attempt didn't work. Could not get bug in cup, but got head shot in grass. You have to start dealing with hunters too, depending on where you are. I don't go back and wear red.
I am so tired, I’m working more and more, filling in for other people. I don’t want it to make me more tired and more tired. My heart can not take much more.
I was sitting in the guardhouse Sunday (my job). No one was there and I saw a leaf fall – no big deal now, but it fluttered, so I kept watching. Was it a butterfly or a leaf? It spread and glided down and landed spread and did not move. So I went to see. The biggest moth I have ever seen!! Tan, with eyes! He was dying and did not move much, there on the hot sand, in the sun, he was by a tree – short of the shade but camouflaged. So I took him in, hoping to get a picture at home. He wasn’t going to move and I extended his life then. It was a moth, not a butterfly and the closest I could think was “Buckeye Moth.” Years ago I shot one Buckeye Butterfly. At home I looked under “Buckeye Moth,” (images) and found a Polyphemus Moth which matched the wing design. This is it, or the closest I can come. They do die at the end of summer, are gluttonous caterpillars (what caterpillar is not) and go on to several metamorphoses to become this huge moth which can fly miles and miles to find a mate. So he has had a good life and I hope made many babies! So he was a still subject and I could take indoors…which I have none studio set up for. I’m happy that 100% of my insect shots are in the wild, living, and go on living after I have taken the shot. I even thank some! :) But I do think studio set-up shots are the very best to display an insect in a photographic setting. Even if the insect looks less than living. I’d like to try some of these shots. I wish there was some way to quickly set up in the field, but perhaps the insect will not settle down and looks strained. I will not pinch. I don’t know about the extra equipment involved. There is not much on Internet about temporary set up for taking insect pictures in the field. Inside studios are a big jump to get started in (I guess) and I haven’t had the time for study. I like my field insect shots. Finding and figuring out how to shoot it and stalking, bowing, or what ever it takes to get in to the picture! Everything is brand new and anything can happen. But the inside shots stand up the best. The outside shots can be finer in composition and display, but mostly do not stand out as much. Not to mention the constant hang-ups of background, stance, scaring, wind, and lugging equipment that the field shooting always has…not to mention deer. A net, glass jars, labels, seem fetching, and you could always let it go after the home shot, in the place you found it.
A very beautiful huge moth! This summer I hung a sheet and light up one night and got 1 medium moth all night. I guess I live in the wrong place, time, etc. I tried after a rain. One guy on internet had his sheet covered with moths of all shapes, color patterns, and sizes. Probably well south of here. So I’m very happy to happen on this.
Here’s my photo… I used, I guess, a little known Photoshop tool called Depth Of Field Blending. It is the stacking and blending of same separate photos with the focus point at different depth of field points for each photo. Like foreground, mid ground, and background. It combines all the best focused areas into one picture, which has better focus all throughout it. It works better if you give it more photos with more depths in focus than I did. I just used three different focus distances in three photos. The wing span, for scale, was 5+” across! It was a big beautiful moth!
RED DRAGON RED LEAF
IT’S COOLER, NIGHTS ARE COOL – STILL SUNNY IN THE DAY. I WALKED MY OLD WALK AND THERE WERE NO BUGS. THE FLOWERS THIS YEAR JUST HAVE GONE CRAP. I TRY TO FIND SOMETHING IN WILT AND LOOK. LAST YEAR THERE WERE MORE, IN THE SAME PLACE. MAYBE THE WEATHER OR HAVE BEEN RIPPED OUT. MY RED DRAGON WAS NOT THERE. I KNOW HE IS THERE. I’D LIKE TO GATHER THEM UP IN MY ARMS TO GET THEM WARM, BUT THEY WOULD DIE ANYWAY. THEY HAVE SUCH AN HONOR TO LIFE, IT’S AN HONOR, THEY HONOR TO DIE. BUT SURPRISINGLY I FOUND ANOTHER PREYING MANTIS ! (I NEVER THINK I WILL BECAUSE CAN’T REALLY LOOK FOR THEM, ONLY WONDERFULLY SURPRISED WHEN YOU SEE ONE.) A BEAUTIFUL GREEN FEMALE ON PERFECT YELLOW GOLDENROD. SHE WAS COLD, COULDN’T MOVE, THE MORNING WAS STILL AND DEW COVERED HER BACK. THEN AT ANOTHER SPOT THERE WAS A TOAD WHICH LET ME GET CLOSE. BUT NOTHING ELSE. I’VE BEEN TURNING TO LANDSCAPES. I PARKED OFF THE ROAD AND THIS GIRL CAME UP ON BICYCLE SAYING “WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF MY LAND?” WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? IF YOU ARE PHYSICALLY ON PUBLIC PROPERTY YOU CAN TAKE PICS OF ANYTHING (WITH SOME EXCEPTIONS), ON PUBLIC OR PRIVATE AREAS. IF YOU ARE ON PRIVATE LAND YOU HAVE TO ASK. I WENT ON AND CAME CLOSE TO A BETTER LANDSCAPE. NO MATTER WHAT LANDSCAPE I TAKE IN FUTURE I WILL ALWAYS FOCUS STACK. I REALLY NEED TO SEE A BLOWUP OF THE PICTURE, NOT THE VIEW SCREEN, WITHOUT THE DAYLIGHT GLARE, WHILE TAKING PICTURES. TWO MATING PREYING MANTIS WERE IN SHALLOW DEPTH, BUT NOT QUITE AS MUCH AS SHOULD. I COULDN'T SEE. I’VE BEEN CHECKING EVERYTHING ELSE. I GUESS I’M TOO PRESSURED AT MY ONE CHANCE TO PHOTO A PREYING MANTIS! THIS SUMMER I’VE KEPT UP WITH FOLDERS PRETTY GOOD AND HAVE MADE BETTER PROGRESS ON INDEXING. I WATCHED THE 9/11 SHOWS. I WAS IN NEW YORK TWICE. I WISH I HAD GONE UP ONE OF THE TOWERS. I MISS THE PEOPLE, THEY TALK LIKE MY PARENTS. PART OF ME LIVES THERE.
WELL HAVEN’T BUMPED INTO ONE STAG YET. LANDSCAPES, SO FAR ARE SAFER. WANTED TO PUT MY RED DRAGON’S PIC ON HERE. THEY SPEAK, MOTHER, SMILE, PLAY, COMMUNICATE! AND THEN GO OFF. LOOKING FOR FROST, BUT I WILL PROBABLY MISS IT WORKING. WHY JUST LOOK FOR FLOWERS??? FALL FEELS GOOD. LOOKING FORWARD TO FALL LANDSCAPES. AND THEN IT IS A REST UNLESS SNOW PICS. FALL FEELS NICE:) here's my red dragon...
Killed myself trying to get landscapes. And I did get some, kind of bushy but some were good. Got house problems, but I trying to take care of them, but not before I get my indexing done. That has been going. But I got the garage door fixed, the drip is fixed and the roof has been power washed. But now there is more. This afternoon I white washed portions of the house outside. I held off with stuff this year because I'm just getting sick of doing it and I want to photo. It's either extra work or yard work. I'm tired, why don't I have the money to pay for all of it? Others do. But the leaves have not started yet. It's kind of silvery out. Boy, nothing gets you to clean up the house than someone coming over. It's amazing how quick. My inside suffers from not having a good income. Things are around so they can be jury helped if needed, rather than pay for it. But in places just one layer, so I can clean it up quick. I wish I had an income I could lean on and not have to have these things all the time. I have always horded clothes because of income. What a luxrey to have a good income and be assured of being able to get good clothes when you needed them. There is a pile, and I mean a pile of spare clothes in my bedroom. I havent had an impulse to draw. Makes me sad, I hope it is not gone forever. I have not had time to get a drawing in here yet. Looking a bit blank.
TUNA FISH CASSEROLE
COOK GOOD NOODLES ACCORDING TO DIRECTIONS MIX IN A BAKING CASSEROLE DISH... REGULAR CAN OR POUCH OF TUNA FISH - DRAIN FIRST - CRUMBLE ADD CAN OF CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP ADD CHOPPED ONION AND CHOPPED GREEN PEPPER CAN ADD SMALL CAN OF MUSHROOM PIECES SALT & PEPPER MIX POUR ENOUGH MILK OVER TO JUST COVER OR IF WANT A BIT LESS DOT WITH BUTTER BAKE 350 DEGREES F 1/2 HOUR OR IF WANT UNTILL TOP STARTS TO BROWN CRISP
This is the homemade version. Look on Internet for others. If you don't want to go into all that, just get this stuff and mix up. I make my own version according to my dietary restrictions. It's good! Real comfort food!
All I want is to be warm.
Wow what a WONDERFUL day of landscapes and then it dumped everything! I couldn't see anything!
Well I did get my landscapes and with the next day a laying deer...the morning after the big field party. Deer were in every field! Groups of them! I went the last landscape by my house and there were deer in that field too! I backed out and in rearview mirror deer were running across the road from the houses! Almost hit a jogger! Now that I may be safer from them I feel sorry that they have to share such tight spacing with us. Hope I catch a frost this year. There is a white moth or butterfly that hangs outside and gets frosted somewhere. It is unbelieveable - I saw on television but I didn't catch where, I was so busy looking at the photo. I want to get that shot - it is so beautiful! My frostings are mainly foliage and one grasshopper and flowers. Never tight enough frost for me. Went down some trails I haven't been - mainly because deer were not there. This is a park so it's bigger. I got landscapes in parks and roadside. Trying to dodge hunters. I look weird. The only thing I have to wear is my dad's red checked wool hunting coat and a red and white spandex top for a hat. (Red is not me.) Does the trick. Red is not deer. This time I had to pee so bad I locked myself out of the car and had to call a locksmith. My camera was laying in the car and If I had not parked under a tree I would have been in trouble. But everything was okay and the sun was still not too hot before the car was unlocked and the front seat was in shade. I wish I had a combination lock on car, but mine is too old for that. Beautiful out - kind of windy as time went on so I set my ISO & shutter higher and took advantage of the fact that farther subjectmatter does not pick up as much motion. Foreground elements had to be focus stacked and waited on for lulls. You should wait for lulls and I did mostly. If there are any, and there were this time. This dark moth picutre was just some days ago. I have been enjoying this because I know it will get cold. I have been enjoying fall more this year! Also been keeping up with falling leaves and service appointments on the house. Probably the last picture of an insect I will get this year. I've been fooling around with my cell phone and taking movie clips.
Photoshop's new tool to make sure an image is genuine and not had any editing done to it. I hope this is seen as another tool to have in it's tool belt and not a trend. What would the average photographer do withont editing? It's great for someone who needs to have 100% non edited work - but even then a photo might need to be cropped or resized. Not to mention raw photos need sharpening. Not to mention Tif and Jpeg files are already edited a bit when they are formed in the camera and you can't change that.
But what of the Photographer who wants to display images for their esthetic value? Editing is the mainstream reason for that. Editing can bring out the idea of the photograph! It is a far between photograph that does not need a touch up or two. Sometimes more. I hope Photoshop is not starting to say, camera pictures must stand alone without editing to be considered for anything. I'm sure they are not. This is why...
Sure there is photographic material around everywhere. Some subject matter, though, does not grow on trees most places. If you are into Landscapes, Cityscapes, Seascapes, Rivers, Farms, Barns etc... If you want to mostly take a photo of only the real subject matter before you, you need to travel to it. The rest of photography mostly contains more heavy editing or studio work (which probably has less editing.) But National Geographic or the main camera companies use and display flawless subject matter to advertize cameras and teach. They use photographic models, who fit perfectly displayed into a photograph. (They recede.) Not many people know photographic models or can afford to travel to these specific places or set up these specific photographic enviornements. Or even know about them. I think the "top" photographers have spotters all around the world and get sent all around the world to get these top photographs. (Meaning photos needing little, if no editing and are perfect compositions - just take the shot. These sites are not infinite.) Something the average person would have trouble paying for, let alone know where these specific places were.
In my experience, and probably yours too, there is the area around where you live. Maybe a 30 mile radius. And you know where there are a few sites that take a good picture. For better subject matter than that the incidence falls into the 100-200 mile radius. With this radius you may fine more good image subject matter and one or two excellent shots needing less editing. This goes on. If you want the perfectly top notch sites, you must go world wide and they do not grow on trees. And it costs money to get there. If you want fresh, better subject matter around you, you have to drive out further in your area. Running down your car, and even then you don't know where these better sites are and you have to keep driving and driving, hoping to come across something! Unless someone tips you off. (I'm now talking about taking a photo of real subject matter, not making it up.) These better images don't grow on trees. By driving further out you may run into more better pictures and one or two excellent ones. (All without any PS retouching...depending on the weather.) Nat Geo photographers probably get to the sites (at the best time of year) and then wait for perfect weather or light conditions!) If the search area expands to all around the world, then there are a few top notch sites that are creative, new and occur normally with little editing needed. None of these better photographic sites can be gotten to by you because of lack of money and not knowing where they are. So the National Geographic photographers get all the honors for the best photos?
So my jest of this is you want to take top notch photos also. You naturally take the pictures you can get around you and edit the kinks out to make the picture sing. You can get better professional pictures that way. Also on the plus side for you are conditions outside...weather, lighting, seasons are always in a state of flux. The images in front of you are always fresh. You can sometimes snag a great creative local shot just as it stands at the moment. But editing is key sometimes. That is why I think this new Photoshop tool is more for subject matter that needs to be untouched...crime scenes, medical photography, fossils. I think that is just what this is for. I'm very tired and this passage is probably loopy. I have no more time to write, I'm going to sleep. But outside photo opportunities of specific sites are a pain because you grow out of them, in time, taking so many pictures of them. That is part of the reason I got into macro photography. It has far more subjectmatter right under your feet. But in some instances edited (fake) photos are just the thing! What if you want to darken a sky or take a foreground branch out of a landscape shot- it is just the right thing to make a composition whole! A photograph becomes a work of art! Just what you would choose if it was standing infront of you 100%! These perfect compositions live in your head-it reflects you. So what if some of your pictures need a bit of editing to bring them out. You can't always fly around the world to find a few flawless landscapes in perfect light, so that you have only that one picture accredited to you because it is not a "fake" with no after editing! But again, I'm sure that this is just a well thought out new tool in Photoshop that will help some photographers very much with verifying unbelivable grab shots and others where genuine, non-edited photos are required. And I have left out people who heavly edit their photos or make up new images entirely from scratch, or use technique, movie stills, or studio to make photographs. I just used landscapes to get a point across. When I see all the new stuff in Photoshop now it blows my mind!
And another foot note. I have been driving or walking around for years looking for photos. It is not in my mind, I have seen too many instances of planted, parked or removed elements in landscapes. Something that would mar a perfect scene. Why do pepole do this? Because they hate art. Because they either hate the people doing it or want to get in it also but think it is not their place. I believe it is their place and we have many more artists in the generations alive now than we did. It is not a only one top person! We need you, who want to get in, but think it is not their place! I believe everyone who is sensibly serious is equal in fine art. History needs YOU! It really does! Have fun!
I woke up and couln't walk or barely walk for pain. My hip, the last thing I thought would go is a hip! I never fell. I could walk, but had to limp. I couldn't stay off it due to leaves and work! I made mental notes day by day and the pain did shift and make like it was trying to heal, but I was not letting it. So it began not being much better the next day. The pain left to other areas of the hip and back. It is really not my hip, but the leg socket. The pain was there for weeks. No kidding I did not fall, twist, misstep, bump, hit it or anything. The only thing I can think is it is winter, I'm getting any younger and I've had years of walking down trails looking for photos, lugging a camera, camera case, and tripod in steel toed boots. I also walk spradically at work and I'm always doing yard and house work. It's not just the lugging, it's the taking of pictures. The camera can't fall and the tripod has to be set up just right and fast if it's live creatures. It's even more taxing than carrying! And this is 100% of the time, no breaks. Yesterday I walked way better, even climbed stairs without anything! So I hope I keep improving, since there is nothing else to write about!
Dark brown cloud wheel
Falcon attacks hawk bunches sky
Sun peeks
Leaves Fall
...Sleep
Croucing Grey Gail stings
Winter has come
* BROWN SUGAR MEASURE When you measure brown sugar for a recipie, don't just pile it in a measuring cup. You must take the back of a spoon and pack it down, and add more and pack that until the packed level is that measure. Brown sugar measure is different. And there is always dark brown sugar! BAKING TIP FOR TURKEY DAY!
Depressed. No one really cares if I know about medium format photography around here. You have to see it before you. They could care less. They could care less, I'm nobody, I need to talk to someone. And boy, pass the buck. My art came back. I'm drawing. That's good!
Well Santa froz his buns off this time. He does live at the North Pole. I'm sure Mrs Claus reminded him to wear double long johns. I has an okay Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I've got something. Do you ever dream that you stole, missed the test, being chased by someone or something, lied, lost your job, or were going to jail because you had broke the law. You wake up and are So relieved that it was JUST A DREAM, and it takes you time to lose all the fear. And you got out of it! Then, in back you worry that you really are a criminal, because you dream this. You really want it. You don't like the law. I have an opinion. I think underlyingly that something else is going on. We live our whole lives to pre thought out rules and regulations. This is probably how we had to evolve. It's normal. It's healthy. That is not the problem. The problem is that it is 100% our whole lives. Before we evolved we were some sort of small mammal. An animal. Well they get on like nothing else. They don't hesitate or worry about when they have to steal, fight, decieve, or, if have to when it comes to it, kill. Nothing is wrong about that in their world. They flow through their lives. It's healthy. They don't worry much. This is healthy for them. I guess most life is like that. We make rules which get in the way of that flow. We get by with rules and live very well like this, but I believe sometimes our rule centered life gets in our way, our mammal root way. So ingeniously our body gives us dreams inwhich these rules go out the window and we can flow. We can run away from the monster. We can drop the test. We can steal, commit crimes and get away with it. This dream allows to get this flow side of things under your hood again. These dreams get your mammal root flow balanced inside you. You wake up and are so relieved that it was just a dream. But really your washed clean. Your distant behavior, that is also healthy is now free inside you and your can go on living in the human world of structure that we love. We are happy and healthy in this rule world. But we can't 100% turn our back on our distant past. So I don't worry about some of my dreams. I just thank my distant mammal relatives for coming up with a renewing health adjustment! Because I want to go on living like I do. Sometimes there can be too many rules, and we can fix that, but generaly basic rules are our human flow at this point. Around my generation.
Here is another version of poem above! I didn't go to sleep!
Dark brown clouds wheel fall / geese and muted color Crow attack falcon Rivits in my head Sleep Sun peeps and Bluebirds come Crouch in blue gale Sting Winter comes
I've been out trying to take pictures, but I lost the virgin morning to work. So it was ice and ice with snow. I wished I could have gotten paid for these two days I was stomping, it was two eight hour days! And the landscape results were stretched. Cold but not as cold as it could have been. Don't forget mittens. I have these finger out ones. Now work is building up at home. I wish I didn't have to have a job sometimes. I hate ongoing work around this house. I have a small easel! I haven't used them much but I might in the future. There are so many. I got a kind of one that will fit many places. We still have ice here. I was freeking scared we would lose power. I put so much gas in my car. I've never had it so full and was scared there would be a leak in the tank I did not know about. So kept looking under the car. Everything was okay. No matter how much I go out food shopping I still can't have it or forgot to get it. Going now to try and do some of the many things I have to because I take out time for drawing and photos. :)
Sorry the smile could be more-eyes smaller? I'm so pressed for time. The upper right black spot is an eye and the left is an eye, the group below them is nose and the two pink amebas are the lips if you can't see this! It is a face! This is a big file and the entry preview displays big. But in the journal it is down to size. Still chasing my feeling to do art. These are done with filters on photos I have already taken. Love it and the filters. It is like another media to produce art! Still very busy but my order has come through and am I relieved this is all smoothed and I have the order in order! Now back to work. The first thing is to take a bath because I'm not fresh, pay bills, and on to the next on list. I hope my job holds and the food here may be off and what some bread tastes like I will not say. Hope you like the picture. I hope all artists become equal to one another. Any artist that is so pissed seeing pictures online, I believe, (is not like before) and has types of talent that artists online don't have and should also be displaying theirs. We all can do this! Because in history the main artist had all the talents rolled into one. Now I believe, not so much. I'm sure there are people who can do this way better. But I like putting mine up. Since I just got on to this!
2-11-2021 Hell bent on drawing. I got some out. Got part of carpet cleaned, and did all the stuff I had to do while being oh so tired. I went out to photo. There was medium snow stick on trees, I thought I should go out, but was ready to come back, and was scared because it was in the single digits. Well I'm glad I did...there was snow fog with the rising sun and I got some of the best shots I may have gotten at another place. I saw a Pileated Woodpecker, I've never seen one! The bird book said they were uncommon and that is right, I've never seen one all my life and the book says they have always been here. They are big! I'm going to try and put something in here, but that involves editing and I don't have a drawing yet. I really wish I had a studio where I could place all my materials. I know I have things, but they are so buried or I've kind of forgotten just where they are. I have a list and that helps. But, you know, I want just to grab for them.
Snow snow snow. I've been keeping up with my drive and I've had help. But gone are the virgin sweeps of inch snow. Now it is coming down and I have to keep up because more is comming. And the salt thrown up on the yard. It's cold too. I'm sitting here in layers and layers and I am not hot!
I thought I was going to draw. today was the only day. Weather conditions and snow shoveling. I had to go out and look for pictures. You should have seen the drive. I went out the night it was suppose to happen and it was already been snowing for hours. I did the end third and then shoveled wheel tracks down the rest. My back is so tired from keeping it up. I shouldn't be shoveling anyway. You should have seen it in the morning. The end was knee deep in frozen road pile and the rest was knee deep in snow. If I hadn't done what I had done the night before I wouldn't have gotten out. And I was up well before dawn. I got it just at dawn and could go out for pictures. What a lift because pictures are another lift. So yesterday morning I was all for rest and trying to draw...before I looked out the window and there was icy frost on the trees. I just about lost it. It was dawn and that is when I should have been already out. I should have been to my spot, but that is miles away so I opted for first light around here. Well the day was still and I had until about noon for snow fog shots with the sun orb just showing thru or not. So I have not drawn unless today and I wanted to get something in here. I feel good about the advancement of drawing in my body. Getting loose and not fearful. I was leeing my stuff and it worked. Now my body wants to go back to not leeing for a bit. I saw the pictures and I want to go back to leeing. So I had a happy day and last night, Drawing. My last was a pen drawing because that is what the other two were suppose to be but were not. The last drawing I forced. My pen lines are a a bit too varied for pen and ink, but not too bad. I learned tonight a trick. It you want to fill in a passage with pen and ink but can't quite do it without going over the outline (you want the outline edge even), trace the passage outline on copy paper and then cut the tracing out. Then you have a negative mask (outline without anything in it) that you can lay around the passage, then use your pen to fill in the hole by lining over the mask paper, your paper, then back onto the mask. Works good. I've never come across this tecnique, but it worked for me this afternoon. And I need to go back into charcoal.
Tired, don't want to stop, but I have to. I don't want to have to work, there is always something else to do around here. I like work to be part of something but don't like the time it takes up. Maybe next week I will get to this, but I don't think so, it's warming up. If it warms up too much I will need to build a snowman to take portraits from. I have a new coat I want to put him in. Ha! But I still hope for time to get something in here and draw. And I sorely need to make new folders. My card is running out. I have more, but this card is 64GB. Now I need to relax, put things straight around the house and sip on pop. Dream of how cool it would be if I had a studio and could get my paper and materials ordered so I could just grab and go, not unpack to find something and then repack:)
Been editing photos for 2nd day. Some are a breeze, others never end. More than half done. Two Cranes Horizon of fog , grown of clutch, the sky is light, the sign of spring, signs of wing
Two and a half of editing straight. I'd edit all day and then go on to one more picture at night,even though I should have stopped. It's like there should be a faster way of doing things. I bet there is faster smarter ways of editing things. Pointing out stuff and having it all done in a zip. Not like global color shifting that we have already, but things more involved, like reflection removal. I just bet there is. We have quick selection. Makes me think that is the tip of the iceburg. Anyway it was the longest I have edited photos and I have more pictures to go and I wish they were done. Not many more. I wish it was done so I could get it up. All I've been thinking about today.
BEFORE YOU CAME WE HAD MORE. I MAY NOT HAVE THIS CONNECTION FOR LONG.
I got on the Internet. I don’t know how long it will last. Maybe one time, maybe 2-3-4. I have problems with it. Everything has been hell, like most others concerning the Coronavirus. Is it real? I thought not, but now I do. I haven’t lost or been laid off from may part time job yet. I almost wish I would, and then I don’t. I watch the news all the time. The worst is going to the stores, a lot here think it is a big yuck and don’t even know about the 6’ rule. Going home is the worst. My heating is still throwing off fumes and it changes. Amount and type. It’s worst at night. And when you open a window, you get laced burning smoke air. Who could stay home? I can’t. I’m about ready to tell somebody. This is not cool. I can’t keep going like this. When ever I want to do some artwork etc it gets real bad The appliances that vent this have been turned off and still I’m getting stuff in the house. My lungs hurt, I can’t stay in the car, the gasoline has something in it. And I’m afraid being on here is adding to the problem? Well I don’t know what next.
Just before all this I started an online drawing class. Never done an online one. It’s really cool. Teaching online is ment to be! Trouble is because of working and Coronavirus I have fallen behind. But if you download the lessons, you can keep going. It’s in charcoal. We passed by this in college and I was different then and didn’t follow. Now I would like to walk into a more painterly approach, or see where it goes. And even the dividing line is questionable because the more drawing I do the more relaxed I become. So to have this is a good thing for me. Also I had to leave college start of third year because of the slump I’ve talked about before. So I’ve never been walked through painting. Charcoal is the doorway! So that was the last thing I was happy about. Here is a drawing I loved. I didn’t go all the way with it after the hair because I loved it. The hardest thing about the class is ruining what you first put down and working over it, little by little. As usual my picture suffers from being too wide. I hope there is something to fix that for the online displays. (I don’t think I’m the right set for art!) But I want to do it. It’s like a slice of my life. But I don’t define my whole life by artist. I’m into a few other things. I hope there is some application tool to thin this down. I’ve seen online displays and printed digital pictures that do just that. I don’t know what it is.Smaller pixel squares?
I know the news is a bit better for Coronavirus, but act like it was worse. Fear this, do not go out. I don't know what they are going to do about this. If this seems gone in future, I'm sure it will still reside somewhere in unique places or a few places and there will be cases again. How long do people who are carriers last? I hope they do something about open markets worldwide. I hope they do not kill the bats (considering how many there are around the market). Years back our city had many bats flying around at night. They disappeared in future years, I think to guard against disease spread. But we are pushing wild animals to the brink. I hope that is taken into consideration! I would rather see a one child policy per couple worldwide and let other forms of life live! They are needed for the web of things too. Remove those wet markets and let the bats find wild food! Ofcourse virus is a form of life also! Probably close to the first life.
I've been home, but I've had to go to work part time. I guess I'm essential. I don't go out much anyway, but have not had the energy to finish my leaf raking for the City pickup. I guess they have another pickup. I'm wrung out because of the venting in the house air. It comes and goes, so it is not an appliance. One good thing I came apon was making a photo of my artwork into a cellphone wallpaper. Not bad. My winter one was great, but too warm for summer.
If you can, to be advised, watch the news or Internet. The news is talking about everything concerned with this! Someone should tape the added information segments and get this to interested people. It's hard to watch much of the same reporting to wade through to the added information. I just saw about the wet open air markets. There are probably phone numbers or chat for questions.
KEEP OPERATING LIKE CORONAVIRUS IS GETTING WORSE! KEEP DISTANCE STAY HOME WEAR MASKS
DON'T LISTEN TO THE BRIGHTER ESTIMATES. DON'T START GETTING TOGETHER -STAY AT HOME! IN MY OPINION MAY IST IS NOT A GOOD TIME TO START PEOPLE GOING OUT AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW OF ALL THE RAMIFICATIONS THIS ENTAILS!
WHERE IS THE VIRUS? IT IS EVERYWHERE AROUND THE WORLD. IN PEOPLE AND IN UNIQUE PHYSICAL PLACES PROBABLY - LIKE WHERE IT CAN LIVE BY ITSELF! IT IS STILL NEW! IT IS HORRENDOUSLY INFECTIVE? SO WHY CAN'T WE GO OUT IF IT IS STARING TO GO DOWN? WE REALLY DON'T KNOW IF IT IS REALLY STARTING TO BE "DOWN." ACCORDING TO NEWS, IT IS JUST STARTING TO INFECT IN SOME PARTS OF THE COUNTRY...LIKE RURAL AREAS! I'M NOT A DOCTOR, MY BRAIN IS ALL MUSIC AND ART. I PICK UP OTHER THINGS MORE THINLY. MAYBE WHAT I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT CAN BE OUTLINED AND EXPLAINED BETTER? MAYBE IT HAS, I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS 24/7.
THE CORONAVIRUS IS IN PEOPLE. PEOPLE ARE CARRIERS. PEOPLE WHO GOT IT, WERE SICK, GOT BETTER AND HAVE IMMUNITY (HOW LONG?) AND HAVE ANTIBODIES FOR IT IN THEIR BLOOD. PEOPLE GOT IT BUT DIDN'T KNOW THEY DID, OR WHO DID NOT FEEL AS SICK, GOT OVER IT AND NOW ALSO HAVE ANTIBODIES IN THEIR BLOOD FOR IT. OR MAYBE A CERTAIN NUMBER OF PEOPLE ALREADY HAD ANITBODIES IN THEIR BLOOD FOR IT AND DIDN'T CONTRACT IT AT ALL, OR JUST IN THE BRUSH OFF STAGE. THIS IS WHY THE NEWS AND SICENTISTS ARE TALKING ABOUT EVERYONE BEING TESTED.
MY QUESTION IS, HOW LONG (IF EVER) DO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE CONTRACTED THE VIRUS AND NOW ARE BETTER AND CARRYING ANTIBODIES IN THEIR BLOOD HAVE, TO INFECT OTHERS? DOES THE BODY KILL ALL OF THE VIRUS CELLS, SO IT CAN'T GROW ANYMORE? IF SO HOW LONG DOES THAT TAKE? HOW LONG DO PEOPLE WHO WERE SICK AND GOT BETTER HAVE TO INFECT OTHERS WITH THE CORONAVIRUS? OR ONCE OVER IT, THEY CAN NOT INFECT OTHERS.
ALSO, YOU HAVE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT, THERE WILL BE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THAT GET INFECTED WITH THE VIRUS, PUSH IT BACK, BUT BECAUSE THEIR IMMUNTY SYSTEM IS NOT 100% , THEY DO NOT KILL 100% OF THE VIRUS AND THE VIRUS LIVES ON IN THEIR BODY IN A RECESSIVE STATE WITH NO SYMPTOMS OR MINOR SYMPTOMS. THEY COULD INFECT OTHERS! AND THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE THROUGHOUT THE WORLD ALSO! I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT 1 OR 2. I'M SORRY IF EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS THIS BY WHAT THE NEWS HAS SAID ALREADY, BUT I AM DUMB AND DIDN'T PICK IT UP, AND NEED INDEPTH OUTLINING! THIS IS PROBABLY WHY THE NEWS IS SAYING WE SHOULD BE WEARING MASKS INTO THE FUTURE!
I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, BUT THIS WILL SURELY DEFINE OUR NEXT STEPS IN DEALING WITH THE VIRUS. AND I THINK MAY 1ST IS TOO SOON TO START UP THINGS. THE VIRUS WILL NOT BE CONTAINED BY THEN. THIS IS ALL AROUND THE WORLD AND EVERYWHERE AROUND THE WORLD. I GUESS THEIR GOAL IS TO GET IT SO GONE AND CONTAINED THAT VERY LITTLE IS LEFT. AND THEN IF THERE IS A LOCAL OUTBREAK, THAT CAN HAVE A HUGE OUTLINE AND BE CONTAINED WITHOUT THE WHOLE WORLD BEING STOPPED. I HOPE THAT CAN WORK. MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL HAVE A CORONAVIRUS TEST WITH US. WHEN SICK USE IT AND INSTANTLY CONTACT A HOTLINE.
ANTIBODY TESTING THEY WILL KNOW IF EVERYONE HAS ANTIBODIES OR NOT.
DON'T STOP MANUFACTURING THE VIRUS FIGHTING EQUIPMENT THAT WE ARE LOW ON AND DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF. KEEP TIL WE HAVE ENOUGH. ARE THE OPEN AIR MARKETS BEING FIXED? GIVE THE OWNERS AND EMPLOYEES MONEY AND CLEAN IT UP, OR GET RID OF IT. I'M SORRY. IF I OWNED ONE OF THOSE MARKETS, I WOULD RATHER LIVE THAN RUN SOMETHING THAT FED GERMS TO THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE AND KILLED MANY. DON'T BLAME THEM - IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO LIVE SOMETIMES. EVEN IF THIS PRACTICE OF WET MARKETS WAS PART OF A PEOPLE'S HISTORY. THESE HISTORYS WERE SURELY AT A TIME WHEN THERE WERE HARDLY ANY HUMANS AND MOSTLY EVERYTHING WAS OPEN NATURE. NOTHING, OR MOSTLY NOTHING EVER COULD START INFECTION THROUGH OPEN BUTCHERING AND THE KEEPING OF SMALLER NUMBERS OF ANIMALS AROUND, OR WAY AROUND. THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH OF THIS GOING ON! A COUNTRY WAS A SMALL COUNTRY WITH MUCH LESS PEOPLE AND THERE WAS NO INSTANT WORLDWIDE TRAVEL FOR ANYONE. YOUR ANCESTORS GOAL WAS TO LIVE AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR PEOPLE. LOVE. IF THEY COULD COME BACK ALIVE AND KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON, THEY WOULD TEAR DOWN THE MARKETS THEMSELVES!
SORRY FOR ANY MISPELLED WORDS, I DON'T HAVE A SPELL CHECK.
I TOOK FOR GRANTED THE CORONAVIRUS TESTS, TESTED FOR CORONAVIRUS SPECIFIC! NOT JUST FOR THE PRESENCE OF ANY VIRUS!!
Smog wise our skies are really clearing up because no one has been doing anything!!!!!! This blows me away!! But we have a ring around the whole world way up there that won't go away so fast. We have to do something about this. Because I don't know what I am talking about. Maybe now would be a good time to start really cleaning this up. I have noticed throughout my life that there seems to be more clothes and cars etc etc etc etc just sitting around throughout the selling year. The vendors will say "Oh they all sell out by the end of the year!" I don't believe this. It doesn't look right, over and over again there are just lines and lines of cars, chothes, etc. I never said anything. Who am I to upset status quo. Maybe they can break down all that product at the end of the year very easily when it doesn't sell. But now? It takes energy and human effort to produce all this - that part of, is just sitting around to be junked. And that makes emmisions! Smog and carbon. I'm not talking about food stuffs etc. But maybe it would be better to have a store or dealership set up just to show off the product, then you could order it! That way far less would be produced, and everyone would still get what they wanted. Doing this for many things (minus the everyday essentials like food and other things sold at some chain stores) would decrease it?. Around the world? Would this help?
But now back to the virus. We all now have a front row seat, to see what will become of these lifted restrictions. I hope it holds. But a virus is not as restrictable as animals, or as predicable. Waiting for further instructions!
Some reopening for Coronavirus. I am afraid of this. And afraid of some people's reaction of being shut in without anything to do. So many people worldwide have grown up in a sea of winning and there are some things around that we can't win against. I hope everything goes alright or that in the future this fall, it doesn't resurface. I don't think many of us, including me have much mental reserves to pull on when it comes to a worldwide deadly viral infection pandemic. No history of it. Not much comfortable knowledge of things that went before like this. The info is there if you want to delve, but it's not on most people's list of dangers. To me, this would be better if it was a climate change emergency. At least then we could go in steps. This virus danger is everything, all at once! And to make it really really worse, we don't know 100% about the virus. It is new. A worldwide deadly virus - right now! From a new virus. Right Now! We are flat out trying to come up with some things, out of less than ample. KEEP UP SUGGESTIONS! And all kinds of our actions and implements and directives are Weird as Hell to many people. And the directors keep changing things! Or a few things. These are solid directives. But some people probably think this is a hoax put on by nut jobs! It seems to me that everything that has transpired so far, as I know, is a normal and concerted effot to counter the virus, with what we know of it. We do have tons of sicentific data on virus, I sure. Not just this one. As I know, virus and bacteria are close or come from the stem of the beginning of life. They are everywhere, air, water, dirt, us. I'm sure they are so small that virus and bacteria easily out number everything else on earth! They, or something close to them are our ancestors and the ancestor of every other thing of life. (Please do not take this as bible.) They have always been inside our bodies from the very beginning, and every other living thing's body. Some help us, some do nothing, and some (if out of check) can attack us. Their not just all bad boys floating around. So I'm sure the scientists know virtual tons about this. You know they do when it comes to diease. If I were to get in a tight position, I would drop everything I was doing and take it step by step. I would watch the news, talk to friends that knew, and keep weighing in. This is a trying situation for everyone and it keeps going on. There is truth, there are stories, and there is truth. And there is frustration. The problem is most people didn't know much about this to begin with and it's modern day look and operation is really foreign. We have all been dumped into another world with no forewarning and we have to stay like this. It's a shock that keeps us from what we wanted to be doing and it doesn't go away. If you can not do what you liked to do, or are getting tired of doing nothing. Try to take the essence of what you liked to do and force that into another container. If you liked physical labor, try to exercise or make factory parts in your garage, or get a part time job, or something! If your into office, try and do it at home or something other office. Fix up the house...something! Finding the container is the hardest part. Your body will probably lead you to it. I'm trying to suggest something. Lets hope this virus is on it's way down for good. We don't have a 100% solid hand at fixing this and it could go on for 2 years...we don't know. Try to find something solid. Dirt was here before the virus! That somehow comforts me. Atleast that is two years and not forever.
THE VIRUS WILL PROBABLY COME BACK. I CAN’T UNDER ESTIMATE SOMETHING VERY DANGEROUS AND UNPREDICTABLE. I FEAR IT. NOW, IT SEEMS, RELIEF AND FINALLY SAILING THE SUMMER IN THE SUN. I HOPE IT DOESN’T COME BACK. I CAN’T FORGET THIS. I STILL WEAR A MASK AND SOCIAL DISTANCE.
I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE OTHER. IT’S TOO SAD. IT’S TOO SAD. I WOULD HOPE THAT ALL PEOPLE CAN LIVE TOGETHER AND GET WHAT THEY WANT AND MAYBE WE CAN FEEL RELIEF AND GO ON TO OUR LOVE AND DESTINIES. ALL TOO SAD.
BEEN OUTSIDE. IT’S GREAT TO BE IN THE SUN AND RELAXING IN THE WARM. BIT BY BIT I’M GOING THRU THE SUMMER LINE UP OF YARD JOBS. I LET THE BACK GRASS GROW UP LONG. WHY I DON’T KNOW. IT’S LESS TAXING TO JUST MOW THE FRONT. DON’T DO THIS. THE GRASS SEED BLOCKED THE SUN TO AREAS. IT MADE BROWN SPOTS. THEY WILL PROBABLY GROW BACK BUT THAT CAN HAPPEN! I’VE SAVED MANY LITTLE LIVES THIS SPRING AND TWO DAYS AGO I SAVED A BIG LIFE. A LOST WORRIED DOG. AND YES I’VE BEEN OUT PHOTO’ING AND MY DEER PROBLEM HAS NOT GONE AWAY. AND I AM SCARED. THERE IS ONE WHO WOULD PROBABLY LIKE TO TAKE ALL HIS ANGER OUT AT ME FOR BEING PUSHED OUT OF HIS NORMAL RANGE BY A NEW PARK AND THE PEOPLE WHO ARE LOVING THE WALKING TRAILS HERE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. THESE PLACES DON’T GROW ON TREES.
MY CAR IS A MESS AND I JUST GOT PART OF IT CLEANED. I HAVE REALLY MAKE HEADWAY IN PHOTO INDEXING. I’M PUTTING A LOT OF WORK INTO THIS APPLICATION AND I TRULY GETTING COLD FEET. SO I DECIDED TO PICK UP ON MY METADATA SHEETS AGAIN. THAT IS A TEXT LIST OF PICTURE FILE NOS, SIZE, DIMENSIONS, CAPTIONS, AND KEYWORDS. NOW THIS IS AUTO. BELIEVE ME, HAVING THAT SEEMS A MORE SOLID BACKUP. ANOTHER BACKUP. OF COURSE I SHOULD ALSO BE WORRIED ABOUT THE PICTURES THEMSELVES. NOT THAT THEY ARE ALL GOOD. BOY YOU LEARN AS YOU GO. I JUST GOT DONE WITH MAKING 3 NEW FOLDERS AND I HAD AN EASIER TIME OF DELETING BAD AND HO HUM STUFF. INDEXING IS GETTING EASIER, MY KEYWORDING IS NOT 100% LABELING. I GO INTO OTHER ANGLES. I HAVE OVER A THOUSAND KEYWORDS, BUT I DON’T USE MUCH OF THOSE. THE OTHERS ARE THERE IF I NEED THEM. WANT TO START ARTWORK. I HAVE PICS TO PUT IN HERE. I MISS MY CHURCH FRIENDS. STILL WORKING!
Here are some of last year pics. The last pic is probably the best. Now trying to get writing in here!
I'M DOING EVERYTHING! OUTSIDE OUTSIDE PHOTOS, NATURE, EXERCISE! BOY I GET THAT! I SAVED A DOG AND A THOUSAND OF SOMETHING ELSE. THE DEER ARE THERE BUT SO ARE A THOUSAND DOGS. WELL MAYBE NOT THAT MANY. ONLY ONE DANGEROUS HUFF SO FAR. A HUFF IS A NOISE A DEER MAKES TO WARN OTHER DEER TO RUN OR TO WARN YOU (WHEN HE IS NOT AFRAID) TO GO AWAY. IT IS VERY RELATIVE TO THE SITUATION AND CAN BE LIKE MUSIC IN MEANING. THERE IS A MALE FAWN JUST HANGNING AROUND TOO. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIS MOTHER. DOES HE HAVE ONE? HE IS NOT SKINNY TOO MUCH. I GOT A COUPLE OF PICS THIS TIME BECAUSE THERE WERE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. I AM SO SCARED OF DEER, I MISSED A SHOT OF TWO SOMEWHAT GROWNUP BAMBI FAWNS. WALKING RIGHT UP TO ME WITH CAMERA ON TRIPOD! TRYING TO PHOTOGRAPH A MOSQUITO WHILE THEIR MOTHER WAS REPEATEDLY CALLING THEM, IN THE SWEETEST WAY, TO COME TO HER. I WAS PETRIFIED SHE WAS GOING TO KILL ME! BUT THEY COULD RUN LIKE THE WIND AND THE MOMENT I MOVED MY LEGS TO STEP BACK AWAY FROM THEM (BECAUSE THEY WERE GETTING TOO CLOSE) THEY BOTH TOOK OFF LIKE ROCKETS! NO PHOTOS...THEY WERE RIGHT THERE! ANOTHER TIME DEER WERE WALKING RIGHT BY ME IN A WOODS AND I DIDN'T HAVE A CAMERA. I'VE GOTTEN SOME FAR DEER IN FIELDS ONLY. I THINK SOME OF THIS DEER STUFF IS BEING SET UP - PHYSICALLY OR THROUGH HERDING WITH WHAT I DON'T KNOW! BUT SOME DAYS AGO I WAS HAPPY TO EXPLORE TRAILS IN A PARK I HAD NOT BEEN ON BEFORE. EARLY MORNING CAMERA AND TRIPOD. VACANT TRAILS. I DIDN'T THINK MUCH OF IT BECAUSE THIS PARK IS A CAMPSITE, LAKE, AND TRAILS AND SEEMS VERY BUSY. I WOULD BE NEW TO ANY DEER. OLD GROWTH WOODS AND A LOWLAND TRAIL BACK. I LEFT DIRT ARROWS TO FIND MY WAY BECAUSE I GOT LOST IN ONETIME. THEY DON'T HAVE MAPS. MADE THE TURN AROUND BUT NO PHOTOS. I WALKED THE LOW LAND TRAIL OUT AND STARTED WORKING A HEDGE TO THE LAKE. HUFF HUFF RIGHT FROM WHERE I HAD COME. HE WAS MAKING SURE I WAS NOT COMING BACK! I'M TALKING DEER SOUND. IT KEPT UP AND UP AND FINALLY A CAMPER WORKER MADE SOUNDS BACK TO SIMMER IT! ON THE DOCK I THOUGHT I SAW A PONY GRAZING IN THE REEDS, BUT IT WAS A DOE! ACROSS THE LAKE WAS ANOTHER DOE CLASSICALLY EATING WATER PLANTS JUST AT THE BREAK. I GOT A SHOT OF THAT. THESE ARE NOT "GOOD" SHOTS BUT EDITING CAN TURN ANYTHING TO ANYTHING. THE SUMMER BEFORE I GOT A SHOT OF TWO CANADIAN GEESE AND 24 GOSLINGS THERE! THEY ARE ALL GROWN UP NOW AND STILL PART OF THE FAMILY GROUP! CLICK! CLICK! THE DEER POPULATION IS GROWING EVERYWHERE. BUT FOR ONCE I CAN SCRATCH THIS OFF MY SMALL LIST OF SITES BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE ONE SHOT ON THE TRAIL. REALLY THERE ARE SO MANY DEER AROUND THAT SOON THEY WILL BE COMING INTO TOWN - LIKE MOOSE IN THE NORTH!
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO INDEX 2019 PHOTOS. IT WAS A BIG YEAR. AND KEEP UP WITH PRODUCING NEW FOLDERS FOR MY NEW STUFF. PRODUCING NEW FOLDERS IS HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS BECAUSE I HAVE TO DELETE. IT'S MORE THAN NOT LIKING JUST ONE PICTURE. I DO CHANGED COPIES OF THE SAME PICTURE FOR FOCUS STACKING OR INJECTING AND PICTURES HAVE TO BE STUDIED FOR OTHER THINGS. THIS ALL SOUNDS GREAT, BUT I DIDN'T GET THE INSIDE OF THE CAR CLEANED OUT! (YESTERDAY I GOT THE BACK PART CLEANED.)
THE WEATHER HAS BEEN GREAT, BUT WE HAVE LOTS OF TREES DOWN. AND I MEAN THE WHOLE TREE TIPPED OVER SHOWING THE ROOT CIRCLE. I GUESS STRONG WINDS WITH FULL GROWN LEAVES ON SOGGY GROUND. OR BULLDOZERS? I HAVE SEEN TREES OVER IN SWAMPS WHERE A BULLDOZER COULDN'T GET - NO TRACKS. BUT I HAVE SEEN TREES DOWN AND TRACKS. MAYBE GETTING IT OUT OF THE WAY AND SAWING SECONDARY LIMBS ON THE DOWNED TREE. THERE ARE A LOT OUT IN THE COUNTRY. OR WHAT GOES FOR COUNTRY. I MISS THAT DOG I SAVED. HE FOLLOWED ME SO WELL AND WAS NICE, BIG AND WOULD SCARE DEER! I HOPE HIS FAMILY TOOK HIM BACK. THEY DID, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW. I CAN'T MANAGE A DOG ON MY PHOTO TRIPS. SOMEONE ELSE WOULD HAVE TO GET IN ON IT. LOVE HIM BUT A MASTIFF LIKE THAT - I COULD JUST SEE HIM RUNNING OVER MY TRIPOD, LET ALONE BARGING IN ON SHOTS!
TRYING TO ORDER SOMETHING AND CAN'T GET IT. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME FOR THIS, BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS AN EXTENDED TIME. MORE THAN A WEEK OR TWO. YEAH! I CAN'T ORDER MY BOYFRIEND! NO JUST KIDDING:)
Wanted to say my ideas on art again. Because of evolution (minor generation to generation change) I don't think we are exact copies of our parents or grandparents or further back in time. I don't think it is 100% right to say only those interested in art/photography or majored in it are only the ones who can leave or put up their work. I mean history, I mean display. Of course there has to be some kind of line. People who want to tear down and hate art this is not for. This is for people who are hurt or sad when they see beautiful lead in scenes in movies or specials or see great photo or art online because they want to do it. I think if you actually yearn way deep down and pine to be included in this, you can. You can have your artwork put up and saved. This (in my mind) is not a handout. Your art should be completely equal to everyone else, including the die hard career people. I just think in my generation we all have equal talent. It's not right for just a few people to get all the credit. Even if you want to do only a few pictures, or many, that is okay. Normal, natural right. (If some want to vie for the top spot, then let them do that. They don't need to be included in with those who believe as I do, they can have their own division. There is no right or wrong in this. It is right for them to vie.) I believe in this, and it is for all the people who feel hurt that they are not included in art. It doesn't matter what you do for a living. It doesn't matter where you are from. This is based on the belief that we are all more alike intellectually than in the past. In the past people who didn't get in, did not get hurt or set back, they laughed it off. There are tiny changes generation to generation. And more people need to travel and some want to be serious in the arts. They want to get in the art swim and try it out. They want to be included. They want to do art and be included. Like I said. I feel we are all more intellectual now and we all can produce more serious art. Evolution. You can do it and be counted. Your not going to be on the lower tier, everyone will be equal. We are equal, we are recorded as equal. That is my opinion. Hard to put into words because many people see this only as it has been in history. A few people in a group selling a bit or being funded to work. Art was the future back then, it formed the future somehow. Art is still here, I just feel more people are in it.
Now cost. To produce art it costs way less than photography. Less for materials. Unless you want to physically hang your work. You can get away with many different types of price ranges for media. Some types of media are more expensive...throwing a pot, encaustic painting, etc..., but on the whole you have a whole range of prices for the same thing. And if you are only making it to photo for the web or to save, it matters less. You can even make art on your computer only, or mix it up with digitized physical work. You need to become acquainted with what is available and procedures on how to work with different types of media or the one you are interested in. Books or the web.
Photography can be different. Consumer cameras can have less features and the look of the finished photo may be finely different. But do not be miss led, those cameras can produce fine art. Also cell phones have more and more megapixels. They are turning out expensive work. Some people have expensive cell phone cameras. The camera market is stocked with lower – mid – higher priced choices. There are a lot of camera choices at many prices with many different features out there. And lens too. The problem probably will be the handbook. Your going to run into things you don’t understand. I’m now talking about DSLR cameras, Digital Single Lens Reflex cameras. These cameras have a lot of things on them that you would have to learn about to use, but happily most, to all, probably have auto point and shoot along with the advanced features, and you will get stunning pictures without having to learn about apertures, shutter speed, ISO, or manual metering. The more professional you go, the more the price climbs. But not as much as a motorcycle or travel trailer or trip! A few thousand depending on how many lens you want. But this still leaves a lot of people out. I wish you could rent equipment more. They have some to rent at some camera stores, even around here. If you want photos of a type, the price goes up and I don't think that is fair. Could you borrow equipment? There is also refurbished used equipment at lower prices. The top of the line is medium format photography or large format. The sensor is way bigger and you get far more detailed photos. But get this, a medium format digital back is 20- 30 grand. A medium format camera is approx 10 grand and the lens for it is 6-8 grand. Each type of lens is that much. I can't afford it and I think my landscapes suffer because of it. There is a slightly lower priced company for medium format too, but it’s still in the thousands as far as I know.
This cuts me to the core and what really makes me mad is that out here I can't even see any physical photos from medium format cameras. I never have been able to. You can see pictures on line, but that to me is not seeing them 100%. You might be able to see them in gallerias but the pictures I see are never labeled as coming from a medium format camera. And the ones who are, are coming from one camera from one time. I don't know how, or if the display look from these medium format cameras has changed over time. Long ago they were only film cameras. There is no way to compare. As yet I don't really like the display of mirror-less cameras. Are the newer medium format going this way? Some photographers never left film for digital. So if you go with a DSLR camera get a FX full frame camera and a FX lens. Don't get DX. You will then have more ability to enlarge. The pictures will be more clear because the sensor is bigger, a full 35mm size. Look into this to see what is actually going on. Of course the medium format cameras have far larger sensors. Don't rule out a tripod. And I'm not savvy with video, I'm sure that is high also. It's all out of reach compared to art supplies. But you don’t have to go with a DSLR. There are many cameras less than that out there.
So I'm surly not standing in anyone's way. But I wish they would make photo equipment more available to people. Also travel. You sit there and watch all this on television and can't afford to see it for real. So that are my thoughts on art and photography for more people.
That fly needs to be worked on but I didn't do it. No time. Not as ditzy now, I got rest, or the lie of it. I ditzed around all yesterday with a new cheap power washer because my small garage sale one died. It may last, I still don't know. It took me all day to go thru the manual and make decisions, then take it out and put it together and try out. I had to call the company twice. It did work, but then it didn't work. So I have to try again and I'm working, I'll have to wait. I have to flush the pump and I'm not going to have to do that everytime I want to release the trigger. Boy my dad would have loved this. It is kind of fun using them on a hot day. I was going to get a bigger, but I then backed out because I couldn't get it on the roof. Last year I used the older one and washed one part of the roof that was beginning to grow moss and had darkened a bit with leaves. It did work with a lot of work because this was not powerful. I waited. Your not suppose to do this on this kind of roof, so I thought I would see how much grit was in the eve this year, and it was not much! I'm going to have to get a new roof anyway. I still don't know. But to have someone do it would probably cost as much as the washer! We don't have very many places to rent equipment here, and I had to call a bigger city too. But they do clean sidewalks good-powerwashers. You don't use these much. I think a neighborhood should all chip in and get one to use for everyone! If everyone was careful. Cars, I don't know, you can wash them or at a car wash just as well. Not suppose to use for painted siding, but for other it can. And it's just water. Wish our neighborhood could get together on this. Hell, my parents and neighbors threw beer parties every summer and had a lot of fun. We are all so cost concious today, this might work! This was a damselfly that stayed put and let me take a lot of shots. Early to mid summer they don't let you get as close. So, if you take far shots, they let you get closer! Its been hot and I was really tired from my last trips and working and house work so I didn't go out today which was perfect. I'm mischievous today, but I can't do anything, so I have a laugh and think!
So hot and heavy. Been working and not getting much. Last night I felt bad, thought I was getting old and would never be the same. But it was the house air and food. I hadn't eaten much in two days and I knew all this when I went outside and breathed normal air. I got better. All very low level.
It's been hot but the stars are burning to match the fireflies! I want to jam a photo with them. It's been so hot the bugs are gone. I've seen this before. They take off. A damselfly let me take one picture. They sit still more if you don't get too close. I stopped going out -maybe tomorrow morning. I stopped going out and started feeling sick. Thought I couldn't take the exertion and I was getting old. But this was all to do with the house air.
It's still pretty out. Tanning green grass, full trees, oak trunks. The other night I put out a sheet but photo’d very few moths. Maybe after rain.
I've been trying to replace some photo items. My tripod head is slipping and thought a remote release would be a good idea along with diffuser. I had to get yard implements. This sounds so nice, but I can't devour a manual. I have to take notes. Must know dangers and operations. Things like that have to have directions on them. You can't manhandle a camera. And I have to get the cheapest, which never works 100% and is more trouble than it is worth. I have to call companies with questions, and then make up notes. I have to follow directions! Work. I've got car oil change, mower work. I need more calls made. No one is there! You can chat, email or wait for a call back when you are lucky. I don't have time to relearn how to put my phone on speaker. The yard is not mowed, mailbox numbers to put on. The eves are not done and probably won't be. The car needs further cleaning. I just don't stay at home and work. I go out and walk around carrying equipment for pictures and that takes it out of my back. I get some, but had to stop indexing for fear of power outages in this heat. There are dark clouds to the west, have not seen lightning yet. Very tired. Low because I have not gotten all my work done. I had to work at my job over the forth for many days and that did it. Started the decline. I felt better today because I ate. I forced it and felt better. Never off my food. This week I was.
The Cicadas have started singing in the trees at night and there is a moth curled up in a fold of my shorts. I've had to put many Earwigs back outside. They love cool. The tree shadows keep that going. Last night one stung me. My job pay stubs keep getting harder and harder to see and print. I don't have a printer. Still can't do any of my heavy computer jobs outside. Very tired!
Well the next morning it was black! I cared out to photo the blue black cloud storm drifting east! It then started pouring! I tried thru windows and wipers. Changed my lens and that helped. Then I thought of going to where I usually photo – it has some vistas. I tried there. The rain let up and came back. (Most of these pictures really need to be reviewed on computer. I throw out a lot more than I used to.) I then chanced the dock. The sky was dramatic clouds and lake. On my way back RAINBOW and simultaneously two deer moving under! I didn’t get the deer but I got the rainbow. With this morning shots I’m out of card. I’m trying to get the remote trip going. It sits in the hot shoe. Take the hot shoe cover off! Mine has not been off since I bought the camera. It won't budge. I got a bit of it, but won’t go further. Calls! Now the remote has to dangle. Can’t find anything on the internet. Now I’m freeking scared that taking off the hot shoe cover. wil Itl will put my focus out of adjustment or stop the flash. The lack of pressure? You never know what underlying unbelievable fine adjustments will throw something off – and just by doing what you should. Pre programed. I’ve seen this happen. At the camera store they will probably tell me this can’t possible happen by the way it is constructed. So I’m up in the air. I, for the first time yet, put the camera on spot meter. It looks like it focuses better. I keep getting these pictures and I focus on the eye of insect and the body or background is more in focus. Usually I’m in center weighted metering. Of course in spot metering a couple of my pictures were too light or dark! Now I have to delve in the handbook to see if I can somehow lock metering, then change to spot??????? I don’t have time to turn around. I still haven’t even gotten a simple remote set up. I think it would help. So today I went out anyway and spent the morning in sun. I got a good spider, better shots of immature baby frogs/toads and a good flower. Also dragonflies that wanted to play with me. It actually helped when I talked to them. I walked my back off. Everything is so beautiful. I then got an instruction sheet printed up and my pay stubs. Last night I couldn’t test the power sprayer so I cleaned the rest of the inside of the car. That’s not it. I really go thru that car. I clean the trunk and wipe off what is safe of the motor and then clean up the inside of where the car doors close. Then I turn to the outside. I’d like to fix scratches next but living here you don’t get color choices. I already ordered the original paint used on my car and it’s too dark. So now I hope to mow the yard. I hope I wake up tomorrow morning. Ha Hee
I wish I could find some way of knowing just how mirrorless cameras and medium format look in the raw. I'm still searching. I do have a file taken in a photo store. I took it with one of their mirrorless cameras...Nikon Z7. The same picture was taken on my D800E. Not close to the very ideal of landscapes or macros though. I can compare these. I don't know about renting. I'm sure there will be a hitch. Only one camera, not Nikon with a lower Mega Pixel number. I don't know about Medium Format Camera. Unless I rent I can't see these outcomes. THIS IS MAJOR. I know they are more refined. This is the cruxz. This is the critical point with me. And to further critically mix this up, I don't really know what is professionally fixable to these higher megapixel photos. After they are taken. There is Photoshop and there is what Nikon displays in it's ads. I could see if I could rent, but summer is almost over and I really don't want to interupt my macros for the rest of the season. I didn't think of it or look into it until today.
When I see my own journal photos and compare with a mirrorless camera pop up ad in the journal I freek. The ad is so much more clear and detailed. But it was made with a printed side, not standing on it's own. Ad photos never stand on their own. Sometimes I think image history of our time will be of ads combined with their printing. The printing helping the image to stand on it's own!!
The ad in my journal is more exact than I have seen with other online examples of mirrorless photos! How are they doing to this? Is it the camera's native pixels to begin with? Have I been quitely tossed into the garbage can as usual? All my work on the D800E camera I have, that cost a fortune to begin with, is natively dull, fat, and round. Is it the pixels? ;( Is it super professional editing software that clears it up? Is it their 20K lens? My D800E macro points of clearest focus in journal photographs came close to the whole picture of a bird that I saw in the ad. On the whole my picture is not that clear in the journal. But being macros, mine were shallow depth. The bird ad was mostly a flat side and probably not a macro lens. Probably a prime lens though, but could have been a zoom. My photos need to be cut way down to fit in the journal also!
So now, just because I can't see for real mirrorless and medium format photos I come to another quandry about the average display from each camera type. (My D800E, a Nikon Z7, and better to best medium format cameras and their lens.) The whole point of representation of the newer mirrorless cameras and the latest photos online from medium format (that I see) is to procure a more and more and more detailed look. This can be heaven, esp. with the younger set. You can virtually take a picture of ANYTHING and get a historic fine art look. Not that they take a pictures of anything, but that is what I am seeing. But, and here's the point, I know in my spine that all this extreme detail has a downside. It must have. You can't keep going in that direction and represent, Well, a composition. I've grown up seeing photos as compositions, not copies. I guess it's an age thing. Compositions have points all through them that lend to the whole. The picture is a musical note of curves, definitions, and non definitions to fuse into a photograph which is a beautiful photographic symbol of the subjectmatter before you. It is exact, but not all exact. I can't explain this well. I does not depend on just a flat represestation. It is a different enity. You look for color, value, subject matter, subject angle, design, background, light, and add camera controls of apreture, focus, shutter time, and exposure to bring out this composition. You seek to blend all these values for a compositional photo, not a exact exact flat copy. (Sometimes you can see a random extracted composition from all these exact details from the newer cameras, but its not worked or thought about. It just happens. I guess.)
But the newer photos are not really built as a composition. All this exact detail across every pixel from the newer cameras will start to cancel out some sought compositional value info. It will erase it by forcing too much exact detail from areas or all areas. Again I don't know if editors take this into consideration and can extract or form a composition from all this exact information from newer cameras. I just don't know. I might benefit from a slight up in megapixels from a camera. I just don't know. I can't see the outcome. This is a big deal. I don't know two things - how it looks and what they want and can do with it. What am I suppose to do? Pictures from these new cameras that I see are an advancement in tecnology of resolution but the pictures look lifeless, stark, and mechanical to me. And it could be a generational preference. But they show only some example pictures online, not enough. These cameras could take better pictures. I need to see my own examples!
You could argue that, why are you putting so much weight on a more exact image when you are getting a far clearer one that most DSLR cameras! You getting a great image. Not as exact, but clear enough, and representing a composition. Maybe the film diehards have something! I guess it goes back with me to the New York ad days. No one knew this then, no one much knows it now, but most photography was hopefully shot with medium format so it would stand out clearer in print. I've never lost that. But today, I'm thinking that to display your work it would be on the net, not printed for one museum or magazine. But something to consider. How long is storage going to last? Prints will last for some time. I can't go any farther, it's like I'm at a dead end. I'm sad because I have to go to work. It's a great job and the people are really nice, but I get my heart cut out if the weather is good for photos, really bad, like I wish I could quit and never work again and sell the house or something. I'm not thirty. And also to add to the above. I'm not the greatest in seeing like a camera. I try to squint my eyes but mostly I see in the raw and take a picture. Some turn out, some do not as well. My father saw like a camera like a whip! So that added to the mix.
MAYBE BACKGROUND PLAIN...IF YOU CAN'T READ SCRIPT, HI
I had higher hopes for these and not. I really can't see the difference between my computer display at home and when I get to the library. Some touches in finishing are not there (?) You have to cut stuff down to get in here and after that with a cheap cell phone (it’s not an iphone because I have a big main camera) when you cut down it loses. Also I have a couple of faux pas in composition (the cloud bank needs some indent and another. The ink lines was pretty at home. These were taken on my cell phone to draw and I have and they are really good for that but seeing them on screen, I hoped I could put some thru filters and come up with something. It was a beautiful fall. It looks like I am flying. Taking is a kind of work flying, but processing is more work. There is more coming. I hope to get some insect pics in too. I don’t know about next spring. I’ve got so much processing and drawing to do. I might drop taking anymore pics this upcoming summer. Don’t know if it’s a good idea. I could store on cards I bought because the year after this, will I be able to cover as much ground as I am now? I don’t know. But these were fun and I’m telling you, I wish I had an iphone to see what the camera has to go with it and aps. And by the time I got one that will have all disappeared. I do have some independent filters and they are really nice, but I still don’t think I have found the perfect filters for me. But it was all fun and you should see all the chaff sitting on my computer from this that has to be deleted. Ga Ga! I have another but a lot of what I take gets demoded some. And the fisheye filter I am taking them through. It's different than my big fisheye. It doesn't push the scene away from you as much. I don't know what it is called (I don't have the time to find out) but I'm sure all of these options in cell phones (if other phones have them or aps for them will be stopped. I don't know why then don't sell expensive fisheye lens that express the scene in this way? Maybe somewhere there is one. Maybe they can't get as refined resolution with this makeup. I don't know. But it sure takes a cute picture.
Again I wanted to say my idea on artistic talent. I think that today we each possess a bit of the total makeup of artists in the past. Meaning an artist in the past possessed all the kinds of talent together. And today this talent fragments and we each tave an outstanding measure of that past talent. Everyone has a measure, but not fully all. So each artist and want-to-be artist today is talented and should be counted equal. And also there must be a palce for artists that want a hierarcy too. It is just my idea. I see people that wish they were so much. Too much and this much wishing naturally crosses over into actually being an artist. Part time artists also. Just my idea on this. I don't like talking about art and putting it up here like I am a unique "artist." I don't feel I am.
I few days before Christmas I wrote this: Coffee, orangejuice, chocolate! Wanted to try further mixed media toward painting. I just need to start one work because I have all the basic notes. But my back is not 100% and time has been sliced. So last few times I have fit in more comfortable drawings which is my main evolving. It should be fun! I wish someone would stand up for graphite drawing. I'm the only one I know. Is anyone else out there who loves to work in graphite? I'm also trying to review materials I don't have. They put so many out there! They put so many sets out there. Acyrlic, oil paint, pastel, colored pencil, I wish they would put together samplier boxes of all art materials in general. Great school tool. And so many are taking up mixed media now. I used to get hands on knowledge at art stores, they had displays you could try etc.... Now most is sealed in plastic and the sample displays are gone. The most I see are sample paper with many shoppers marks on it. Rare now to find concerns that will send out samples either. But I'm not aquainted will all stores. Some aspects of art are easier. For instance. The art tool box. Maybe some can get by with a medium box, but I just go ahead and buy workman wrench and hammer tool boxes and they work just fine. And they can be bigger! It's the painting supplies, if your into painting and mediums that cost keeps adding up depending on how much artwork you do. Watercolor paper! I keep thinking of how Vincent Van Gogh's brother gave Vincent money for supplies and I think part of his keep. They must have loved one another deeply and are buried together, side by side today. Today you have online videos which I think are A Number One Great for learning anything. The frozen still pictures in art instruction books showing how to work a tecnique where discriptive, if you were lucky, but there is NOTHING like seeing it done in a video. (Books showing still photos of artist's work were and are GREAT.) But for how to work in a art media, I think video takes the prise. Only better would be hands on in a class. Yes, I have been ready to fit this mixed media thing in but need a strong time to start it. I have everything.
I must get this from my mother. Been drinking but sober, sitting on the stool talking to her sister. She said “I WANT TO BE A BIRD……………………………………..a dirty bird so I can fly around and shit on some people!" So funny! She was never like this, and was the most loving person. She only had to walk into a room and everyone would like her. So I must get this cartoon side from her. And cartoonsim can be serious fine art. Mine are not! HA!
Probably should have chopped more off of this or nipped in a spot - can never tell how it will look on other displays. Maybe I'll change it, look great on my display at home. I had it cropped and chose this. I've been under the weather. I've been cleaning inside the house to a room that really needs it. I've been drawing and wondering how or where to put extra art materials. I'm running out of space in my room. I would like to be able to just quickly get my surface and materials I want to use and I can't do that now. I can't even work too well because I have no room to put my stuff as I am working. I've been working on indexing my photos. I can't get anywhere now because I am faced with two things that must get done for backup if I am going to go on. That is why I am seriously thinking of not Taking so many pictures this spring/summer. I should get more caught up. I afraid something will go wrong with my computer or application that will set me back. And it will. I face having to buy a new machine with a new operating system among others. I'm considering axing some programs I don't use, if it happens,to make it all easier. After these two things get finished I will feel much safer. I got a new pillow, bowl and snow shovel. I needed clothes after years of neglect and still need some things. Bras don't fit me today. I'm on my third that isn't working. Lonely at home and hope I can get more connections which will bring more friendships. All appliances are still holding. This time inside without yard work is all too short. :) So which one? It all depends on how I feel that day?
WE ARE HAVING BAD AIR FROM THE HEAT. BEEN SLEEPING AS WELL AS, OUTSIDE TO BREATHE AIR. I’M VERY TIRED. ALMOST FELL ASLEEP AT LIBRARY. I HAVE AN ONLINE ART CLASS AND GOT SUPPLIES. I’M TRYING TO CLEAN WALLS IN A ROOM IN THE HOUSE. I GOT THIS STARTED AND NEED TO DO ANOTHER INSTALLMENT, GOD IT LOOKS BETTER. IT LOOKS LIKE A BRAND NEW ROOM. MY MONEY JOB IS OKAY BUT CAN’T WAIT TO GET HOME. MY ART & PHOTO JOBS ARE EASY TO WORK THE DAY THROUGH AND INTO THE NIGHT AND STILL BE RELAXED AND NOT STRESSED. AND NOT WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT UNTIL I’M TIRED. HOW IS EVERYONE? STILL TRYING TO GET FLOWERS & OTHER PICS UP HERE IF I FIND THE TIME! think lips smaller - too tired
Joined my first online art class and scared stiff. Downloading it so I can look at home. It has a Facebook side that I know even less about. But I am hoping the experience will lead me on or establish more about a working place in art. With more work and shifting. Working in pencil since I started, I tend to outline and fill it. Never became looser. Now I want to walk into there. But in college I passed by charcoal. I did a few pictures and saved my charcoal. Sweet to see my original ivory box of vine charcoal for $1.19. still nestled down in the case. Now who says ever that adults can not have adventure like when they were kids! Fun!
I backed away in the online class exercise to erasing and will have to follow all in the main exercise. I must jump in and swim or not. I don’t have problems with doing, it is what it looks like after. I am so buzzing and wiry by my bodies build that it comes off blocky or overdone. I often have to remove half of a picture to get it to set right. And I think this will compound in charcoal and paint. But you can’t find out where you are unless your body does it. And you can’t faint away when ugliness is before you afterwards. And the snow and my job intervened. So I may be a follower. But I just love doing this at home and being able to go back and review what was just done. Just in an Open Modeling Session a year ago and that was fine. Really great and I could openly draw bigger subject matter. I could do that, but when handling something new like this, being home and alone is wonderful. It is just what is needed. You can forge things. I really like online classes! Really!
I did a second drawing and got about half way thru and then had to stop and try and make that my drawing. So I again left that and thought about it and am going in again (with a Bristol because my paper supply is limited) and try the full layers in a third!! I’m still processing my art order. For first time I have two things to go back. They have tinges of color I don’t want. This is a quandary because for the money to send back I could drive to farther off stores and look for myself. Some things I want are more sensitive than others. But it was a big order and everything was okay. All this took time and it’s 4:20 pm with time left to perform the drawing again. Boy do I need a place I can set up. Love the sun.
So I got thru the second video and had a face. Still learning to maneuver the charcoal and yes my willow stick is kind of brown and it’s blending in. I have even used my charcoal powder. Still learning tips like squint or blur the reference photo. Will try a second time again with this one. This time after I put the hair on I could not lose this picture. The hair was done with vine charcoal and put on “kind of fast” and heavy. The sprinkles of charcoal fell down. I knew to tap, but thought they really made a great addition with the picture. The work has been propped up in the bathroom for two days, I tip toe around it because now I really have a problem. Charcoal tracks can not be moved or jarred or they move. I’m trying to take a photo. This probably needs fix because glassine sheets, which I have will touch it. Which fix? Need to ask. This may only live in a photo. Next time I will start from the blurry reference photo or squint. I can’t take a photo because I’m too tired. There has bad air in the house for a full week from my heating. It is not my appliance. I’m probably sleeping in the car. All this upheaval and sickness wears me out. But I did get a picture done. Probably fall behind in lessons. Next Monday is coming up. Would rather try this one again but I work on weekends. I like working bigger. Of course the cost goes up. I’m not using as much charcoal as I thought I would. I’ve got my vine and willow pieces in two little boxes. I would really like the small brush, because I have nothing like it, and it is cool tool with charcoal. Got to go for now. Keep trying and sometime I believe I will reach all levels!
CORONAVIRUS AMPLIFIED
Very important to be aware of cleaning around you! I know this will not stop some infection, but it could prevent infection from spreading to you or your family. Just think around you, where you work, where you live, how you interact with others. Don’t go about with anymore people than you have to. Stay at home…lucky people can work at home and go to school at home. But around home?! Think surfaces and clean them! Get some killing cleaner. Wash your hands a lot and have everyone else do it to. Hand sanitizer and clothes, towels, washcloths, sponges. Have everyone have hand sanitizer with them, also in the house. So CLEAN…. light switches and around them, both doorknobs at every door… and around, window surfaces where you open them, space heater handles & switches, refrigerator door handles and around, faucets, heating thermostat and air conditioning controls, MICROWAVE! Oven handles, stove dials, MOUSE and computer (clean with computer cleaner, not kitchen or bathroom cleaner! Check computer manual for cleaning. Use computer screen cleaner for screen. Goes for DESKTOP – LAPTOP – I PAD – CELLPHONE! YOUR CELL PHONE COVER – contact company for cleaning that or online. How many people are twisting off caps to liter bottles of pop in the refrigerator and putting bottle back in? How about your cars? (handles [inside & out], buttons, steering wheel, safety belts, radio) Everywhere fingers and hands touch. Can openers, lids off, and coffee makers. Dishwashing machines, and if you wash dishes yourself make sure you get the handles. Like for cup, mugs, and silverware. TV remotes. In bathroom I would up the number of times you clean the stool and get a stiff cleaner and how old is your brush? Clean the rest too. Don’t forget the flushing handle, seat, under seat, top and sides, and what is holding your toilet paper? Does anyone sit on the lid or lid covering…wash it. Of course the tub. How is your shower head and shower stall, clean them. You may need lime scale cleaner too. And get any handles. You can clean any plastic chairs etc… but check what it can be cleaned with. Do a spot test on a very small that can’t be seen. What is the inside state of your refrigerator? Maybe that needs to be cleaned out and old food thrown out. (But best to keep old food in there until the day the trashman comes.) Keep trash emptied and in a plastic bag if you can. Clean eyeglasses, sunglasses, jewelry and clothing. Wash cloths, bath towels, anything that touches you. And let some fresh air in the house – then close it back up if it’s cold out and reheat the fresh air, not stagnate carbon dioxide. Clean purse handles. Avoid public bathrooms. If you have to – flush before you go, and after. Do not use the first few squares of the toilet paper. Wash you hands big time after you go. Don’t use the auto dryers or touch them. And after opening the bathroom door to get out, your hands are again covered with every germ imaginable from the handle. Carry hand sanitizer and use it. Or use toilet paper or a clean hand wipe towel to open the public bathrrom door and then throw it away. Your grocery cart handle – take something for that to wipe it off with or sometimes they have wipes to use for the handle. Get one for your hands afterwards too. Pick an off time to shop. At night! Gas up at night. Where you work. Is it ventilated? Ask if that can be made better. Make sure your lunch pail, sack, or thermos is clean and don’t leave old food in there overnight. Wash what you carry your lunch in everyday. Don’t eat bad food. Keep your work space clean. Don’t group for lunch or breaks. Go out, go to your car. For the office… Do others use your office or not? Even if your unaware? Clean touched surfaces everyday. If in a cubical, could you clean the panels that surround you, windows by you? Inquire, and what is safe to clean them with? Another spot test. Your keyboard and mouse. Cleaning a mouse and cell phone is easier than a keyboard, but you must know what to clean them with. Wash your fingers after typing or at the end of the day. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. DO NOT TOUCH ANY PART OF YOUR HANDS TO YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT WASHING THEM A LOT, AND AFTER GOING TO THE BATHROOM. Sanitizing wipes at desk. Your companies telephone, phone handle? What to clean it with? Chair arms. Coffee maker and cups or mugs right at your desk? Does your office have a kitchenette? Is it clean? Like the refrigerator door handle. There is not rotten food inside? How about the handle, buttons, and inside state of the microwave? I wouldn’t even use it if it is always dirty. Same goes for the refrigerator. Do you have a vending machine? How clean are it’s buttons? This is all where you pick up stuff, or can. How about the office ventilation? How clean are their bathrooms? Flush first! Faucet handles. Hand sanitizer. The outside door handle and light switch. What do your kids keep in their backpacks, rooms, bathrooms etc… Keep your kitchen clean, and it’s floor. Handles and unused food and dishes. I feel like I wish someone would fill in the things I missed. And I’m sure I missed a lot. These are a few things I can think about for cross contamination. Cooking times meats etc… ANYWHERE HANDS TOUCH KEEP IT CLEAN AND DON’T GO OUT! Just some cautions for the coronavirus.
My close-up photo with all the rain has ramped up. Next summer will be dry [probably?] All the critters and their attitude toward me cracks me up. I love them. I guess they all see me as a baby because I’m not with anyone and didn’t have a kid. So I’m seen as a tottering infant. All right with me. And I’m butt based and tired all the time so when I fumble slowly crouching when I couldn’t possibly spring at them – it’s a plus for me. What is she doing? I’m not hungry and no thoughts of eating and I try to blend in clothes wise. [I see while back why they were selling camo tripod covers!] Just want to take a shot. I guess they get on to this and my emotion after I take…I got what I came for, I love it! I’ve seen pics of people holding animals… a great mother or father can get them to feel safe too! The interplay with me is hilarious! And fun. Some disappear or change position and some stay. I start taking farther off and edge in. Any adjustment to tripod or camera is done farther off. Sometimes I’ve hand held (I have VR on my lens and need it – I’m not a steady handholder). Sometimes I brace a loose camera on top or against a leg of the tripod – this works better with the VR on.
I should photo deer – I see so many! I’ve gotten better at flowers (thought I never would, but I remember to look at the background and judge flower subjects. Sometimes I squint which helps me see more how the photo will look. I’ve never done this – surprised I got some! I’m getting better and if I can see the outcome display without overhead glare! You never can in brighter light. (You need a full laptop screen looking at it with a black cloth over your head and computer! And time to go back and shoot all over doesn’t exist!) I’m getting more comfortable with wide aps. This is where I need the laptop! Getting right ap, splitting aps for edit injections, expressing something in a new way. But seeing real good after taking is the most critical. I have no way of doing this so I take a few more options. Helps. Only a few missed that have no split to take from and just don’t have what the picture really needs. So far. I haven’t thought or done much with patterns yet. Or studio display.
I got one side of garage roof cleaned – that was a big one. I’m trying for the driveway too. Also other side of garage. Tired all the time. Really sick of back to back work if I want to make it thru my life and photo too. I’ve been out so much this summer I have not missed not being able to do my organizing outside. Deer have been the big problem.
Why do foods taste like cheap garlic? Nothing like eating a Boston Cream Doughnut with garlic as an sick after taste! Went to a new park and got a tire flat…I don’t know where I got it. I thought the noise was the road? So I used my emergency road service. If you could see how challenged I am at using a cheap cell, or any cell! I finally made connections that I understood, and they came. I might have changed the tire! Ran on the rim too long and needed a new tire. Last year just got 4 new ones! I covered them this time. Cell phones – some of these abbreviated texts I don’t understand! I'd like to get some pics up here too - whenever the time, when ever the time.
Most of the time I don’t know where I’m going, I hope I can hold it together. I haven’t drawn in so long and I don’t know where I’m going with it. I had a fun day at work today, new stuff I could do. I had to not run but walk trot and a few years when I did this my knees would give out, today they held up! I am getting better. There is so much work with all this art/photo. If I could get back together 100% my body would take care of this one way or another. When I was in High School it all blended together. Right now I’m just hungry. I got my phone contacts saved, so the next time I misplace my phone I will not have to face redoing if I have to buy a new one. Their all there! Aug is going fast! How much fat is in these new veggie burgers? I love these, but need low fat. Do I or you want daylight savings all year? I want to photo frosted insects, but can’t ever find any. I did find an early death butterfly, I guess due to the cooler nights. Back home to eat!
I go out looking for pictures, and I’m forcing myself at this point telling myself, don’t get repeats, but the more you go out the more likely you might run into something. I did – I think a caterpillar secreting something – this might be cocoon? (The things I don’t know. It doesn’t help not having the internet at the drop of a hat.) And I ran into my second flash hummingbird shot. This time the camera focused on the bloom in front, but I got an acceptable image. The other day my application stopped working and would not open. I tried opening it from another account and it worked! I thought, delete the preference file for the application in my account. I got with the company and they said that the file or files are proprietary, so update. That’s the trouble today, you don’t know if it is a line or it’s really true. And it can be true some many more times today than it was, and they were innocently telling me the truth! So I’m running the ap from the other account. My bodies getting tired of beating the bush. I went home and after cleaning camera bag and tripod, floor and others I finally got to watch “I was Prey.” Then work takes it out of me. I didn’t mow this week just to rest. The grass isn’t too long. I went to catalog photos and had half of the new stuff I needed to do done! If I can just get at it I make headway. Now I’ve got some pictures off the net and am going to compare them with mine. I hope I get close. [I changed my font to anything, tired of flower Bradley, but now I want Title "Jasperita" as Bradley and don't know how. I also hate that user profile head! Yuck!]
It’s the afternoon and I want to take a bath, write a check and pay bill, I’m not going to get to my bank statement. I want to go to the library and get a few food items and sweep livingroom and kitchen. And how can I take pics this evening. I got some more funny faces on my tablet. Please, I will try finer things which are not fine, but mowing and falling leaves.
Really tired. I have had the best two days! I felt just so wonderful to be living and my work. I’ve never felt so happy…never! God is giving me gifts I’ve never had before with this turn around. I’ve never felt so good at just being alive! It’s wonderful! Now more energy hope!! I got a call to help with bush trimming I hope. Also leaves one time. I’ve gotten quite a bit of varied cataloging done. Great. Without my notes I would not know where I was. Spiffed up Livingroom and Kitchen. Sweep (not all I try to do to floors sometimes) and dust much. Concentration on table and chair legs. The Kitchen tablecloth & curtains need it but our water is really off. Really mow passed a good one this time, trimming and a few others. Leaves are tipping, but not starting yet. I’ve not been out photoing since last time. Last night I started drawing again, Really didn’t feel like it much but I have wonderfully left off where I stopped and picked it right up again! Can’t finish the drawing yet, needs dark in places. So I missed “Eight Below” twice. Saw “I was Prey.” Got outside in backyard for a bit. All that rain slowed our little white butterflies and Cicada. The little whites are picking up and you should see all the Cicada molt skins. Here is previous drawing cut down – can it ride in here? Maybe I should display the bigger ones on a journal sized white frame? I don’t know. Maybe just continue the cartoons. When you go on with art & photo, you don’t stay in the same place and your execution changes. Everything is flux! I’m glad I bit the bullet and picked up a drawing last night, just to get something down. I really feel hollow this time of year, but newly happy!
Not going well, probably 9/11 anniversary. My heating is choking me, I can’t breathe!!!!!!! I spent last night in the car so I could breathe, and I can’t do anything about it unless But I’m going to. Others, I can’t get help from our aging machinery for the county. I don’t know how this is set up among different counties. We have two volunteers and they are always booked up. I got help this spring. Two bulbs ordered are broken. Now I have to buy food and I’m scared to do that. I stink because there is acid in the water that eats the clothes every time they are washed. I had to go thru my recent photos for panorama shots to put together these to see if they are good enough to keep. One was. I edited and edited, I had to reform it at the end to get anywhere – you can’t arch anything. And oh – If I want to get anywhere else, the motion is I have to do something for someone else, and I’m not going to do that. Not going to blow a kidney. I don’t feel very safe here. I’m too thin and have come too far to have any of this be right. That’s my boo boo for today. Work tomorrow and no time to find something for here. My drawing is not going backwards. I am developing passage, but I still can’t see exactly how to finish the ending parts! Maybe someone else could!
Still getting photos. Among deer smell. Less confident about that where I am. Wilted flowers, brown and fresh! Lots of bees! I saw an insect that I hope to see, but never can look for. One eating, two mating, and one for pictures!! Happy about that! I discovered a new lake but it’s hidden and learning about this. People fall off but there is still a tarnish glint to everything. And of course the dragons and birds are still around. Flies! Haggard butterflies. I don’t fall back and still go out looking for photos. Am trying to study some harder standard Photoshop points. I’m getting on to Adjustment layers with masks. Now if I can just get gradients in on it.
Too many birthdays, anniversaries, holidays – year long carousel you don’t get off of! I got off and I’m glad because I never knew that seasons imperceptibly glide into one another out in the wild. It’s beautiful, everything has an exact moment, and there Is so much. It’s always beautiful, in a way most people only see in fine art. And how many look at that. Maybe Blue Planet beauty shots. We used to live in this all the time. I’m not down on holidays or stuff, just would like to get outside more. I love Thanksgiving and make up a dinner sometimes just for me and anyone else that might happen along. Mostly I go to my girlfriends. But I really glad I got the chance to know this. It’s big. I love it. It's so surround and full of love.
Hi, I’m sorry about the script up there – it looked okay on my screen, but too scratchy and small on library screen. Horses blured more on one side?
WHO IS ONE IN ART? I want to say again about who is the one in art. I don’t agree with this for the baby boom generation. It’s my idea, only my idea. Sometimes I don’t know because I’m so transparent and light I can’t read or look into people like everyone around me is so good at. I’ve had friends, but I don’t know that they would understand this…maybe, so I never talked to anyone. I mean I can’t go around asking everyone, ‘what is that person really like!’ So if most people could care less about getting up in art, I don’t know it. Severity lives around me when talking or am doing photos or art. This puts me in really moral mode and how to correct problems, because I don’t think they like it. How to know there is a problem? Why is there a problem when in the historical past everything went in place finally.
I mean in the past there was a “group” of artists. Recognized and un recognized. They all knew about one another and often got together. Drink or not I’m sure there were heavy philosophical discussions about art and politics. I never heard of others attacking them because they wanted to get in to be top artist. They always seemed to be far behind the artists and not as serious, or young up comers. Was this the lay of the land? In general did the others turn to something they liked better? I never heard of any fighting or broken hearts. I read once that Vincent Van Gogh had many artists that were technically better, but he was chosen (after he was dead). I don’t believe in the death part. Maybe for the past. I’m not sure even, that Vincent died. Gunshot all set up,and he lived on and married in some foreign country. His art was so stable and filled with love. I don’t know. But that is something else.
I was obsessed with this for years in the past. I want to know reasons for things and that is where I found human evolution. At first it was a wonderful happy brand new science! A big adventure of reading and knowing for everyone including the new kids and older scientists in the field! Everyone, it seemed had so much fun with this (except the Creationists). I never let this down and each new discovery and book was a big happy deal, a big adventure. I mean, these past people are also are our relatives! I added it to my historical division when musing on the “whys” I was trying to solve. I’ll never forget one afternoon on the couch I lay all afternoon trying to include prehistory into my backwards journey on human form and culture and knowledge. Finally I broke through and could hook this on, and then wondering about the thinking process in evolution. If you read books, the minute we started using tools as standard, that was it, we were modern and there was virtually no difference in those people and us today. I disagree in transparent washes. Look today…do your children want to do everything 100% as you do? I’m betting not 100%. How about your parents or grand parents. Generations (seems at this time) are not 100% a duplicate. This is also evolution. Most people think of evolution as a change to walking. Yes that is what happened after time. But to my mind forward in evolution is not necessarily forward but a change. Maybe changing to keep everything strong and ongoing and if that means sideways or back – the more power to it! But to get back to my problem in art…
Ihooked this into art too. If this ongoing generational change is happening today, maybe everyone, or many more, are good at art and want to be counted! Evolution has made them into this. I don’t think anyone should be on top. I think that everyone should go down in history! And because they can do things other than art, they are supposed to act just like the people in the past generation who did no fine art. Become carbon copies of your parents or your socioeconomic status. Walking around acting out your whole life. And I walk by, flying into art free (when I’m doing it), because I can’t really do anything else very well. These left out people (who probably take 100% of TV as bible) know they are going to be left out. They seethe – they are not going to sit in an arm chair and just watch tv all their lives! They get mad, they become heartbroken.
Other people in the past that didn’t get into art, you can bet, didn’t seethe and become deeply depressed because they didn’t get in. They went to what they really liked, I bet. Getting mad about not getting into art (if your really into art) means you should be there! You don’t need to fit the picture. Your not, or your generation, is not a carbon copy of the past! You get pushed back because your art doesn’t look as others or seems not good enough (how much have you practiced and delved, or become acquainted with how many ways art can be expressed?) Or you stalk with a big stick because your art looks so much better! (All art from artists has value esp. today!) If you don’t want to practice – fine! If you do fine! ) No one really is above. All art today from committed artists is great or has potential to be. But this really creates a problem for the people now who want this to be a top down organization. I’m comfortable with two divisions, (one equal, one top down) but are they willing to want our part in?
So to people that are put off and hurt because others are doing art. You really should think about your art. This is yours, it is not owned by other people. It’s yours, you like art – love it. God gave it to you. Have fun and love it. No one is going to put you down, no one should put you down if you do it. If you feel uncomfortable with this because no disclaimer has been made yet. Do it in secrete! Talk it down, but save it. Protect it. Have fun it and with any journey or development from it. Don’t get mad and strike out…Your in! Others in the future or distant future would really like and need to see your work!...
Like I said, this may not be the case, and everyone is comfortable with a top down order. I really can’t see into people around me and know anything more. This is my opinion. Things like this get discussed. I’m not saying this is the way, I just believe it for me until otherwise.
Seems like the food is off and I haven’t felt good this week. No one else seems bothered. Our leaves have not even turned yet! Will I get them all in before snow? I don’t think so. I found this great art site online and I have been learning some things…it’s like putting together things that were there in my head already, kind of. I might take a class. I have been experimenting with being looser. I’m beginning to paint more. I haven’t gone there, but I would like to extend it in B&W and know more. If I like it as much as graphite or combine both. It’s beginning to be fun, but I can’t paint in bed. I already spilled acrylic paint on my pants. Then happily I went back and did a looser graphite drawing and worked into it. Of course the side peak of the house is not done. Wouldn’t take too long to get the ladder tied down and go up to the top (which I hate and is scary) to scrape and paint a group of peeling spots. Art and photography. My latest go around photoing got some remaining insects (great fly shot) and couple others. My blind bend to the stream provoked cracking noises. I thought falling acorns, which make wood noises quite regularly now, was the reason, but it happened again twice as I approached. I knew a stag with a rack was asking me to go away, so I turned and left. I could see anything (blocked by bush & trees). Looking back all the time. Whew. I do carry a few things and look for tree trunks, but still don’t want a confrontation. I did cling to the safer areas earlier until the fog lifted. I got a panorama of that. Don’t know how that will look. There won’t be any flowers to catch frost this year. I consoled myself with sand and leaf patterns and a charging brown squirrel. I walked more than I thought and was a day recovering. Then the food set in. I drew today.
Not funny. Haven’t missed work yet. All I can think is leaves will come down at once in the rain or snow. I can’t manage it. Wish I had a bigger room. I’m just beginning to out grow that bedroom. I watch these videos where people are innocently sitting at tables. I don’t have all this expensive furniture, but you know I don’t have a decent easel. I do have a garage sale drafting table! Haven’t felt good.
Been working too much – on drawing. I don’t think I have a good surface for pencil. Also I’m wanting to go faster and faster and I lose pencil object tools and finding means breaking my flow, oh this makes me mad. I’m really squished for space in my sleep room. Everything is in there. I need more space. Lucky I do have a garage sale drafting table. I wish I could put it somewhere. My advice to you is make sure you have table space all around you when you work to put stuff on, and make sure you can clean it up from spills after. I was looking at easels. What I might get into is way different from just my pencils and erasers, but I figure this is at the far end of where the cut off point for how I work is, so I need to investigate since I got sick in college and couldn’t finish my Art major. But gee, do you change your way of working, or wanting to work the more you do and practice. My first big thing was beginning to have so many drawings already that I felt that I could afford to take chances on drawings. I mean make or break chances. A while back I email a company and asked them if something could not be worked up that could involve soaking or boiling a piece of paper like you are working on so you could make up a paste or paint of the stuff to paint over mistakes, because nothing like the paper you are working from is best to cover mistakes that can’t be erased. But, yeah, I don’t know much about papermaking practice. It was negative. When you get into paints alone with graphite (watercolor/acrylic) it is almost impossible to erase a paint mistake. You have to know exactly how the outline is going to be and just where to lay the paint. I’m not 100% on this. If I go into what I might take in class, this would be easier because you can always paint over dried paint or pastel over it. I’ve really had some success with painting under darker graphite patches and using graphite hatching over it. The graphite always looks smoother and the covering takes a fraction of the time it would take to do a dark patch alone in graphite. I’ve got all kinds of stuff in my boxes, I even have a paper telling me what things are in which box. I have tried to look out for myself by collecting major things. But still there are holes. I’m always on graphite because I’m teaching myself to draw and apply. I have things in the boxes I haven’t used yet, but I’m 100% glad I have these unused things. Gee so much a halfway free of toxins or chemicals meal is alone with a better pop. My kidneys are not hurting now. Now I hope I poop – have not for days. Sorry to be so graphic but when you have any kind of kidney trouble, the last thing you think of is talking about your elimination problems!
Why can’t there be a site for artists to exhibit their work. What sites are being used? I think more people would like to be included. I believe that rather like in the past (do to different micron changes in recent evolution) all facets of talent were rolled into one person…today…we all contain a few facets well and others less dominate. None of us have all. I wonder about this because I don’t see all the facets. I don’t know. Just an unproved theory I have. I need to get to the facts(?)
I work for a company that is contracted thru another company. There is a lot of matriculation to become an employee for this company. Every time I log online to see my payroll stub it gets harder and harder to get through to them. This is where the web and computer really get to me and I think that it is not organized right to begin with, and it is all too strung out. Others of my generation avoid this all together and maintain the older way is best. I’ve held out. I’m losing a whole day to this and no second try will probably work because no one else will know what is going on either. For now I am calling the numbers they provided. I’ve gotten through before, but if I’ve added an “Av” to my address and they don’t have that or I gave them my home phone address and not my cell phone, I don’t know it because I have nothing recording what I gave them to begin with. This is either my fault or not being able to copy the form at the time. It’s almost beginning to be too much at working a job you are not 100% suited for. You can’t make someone care for something they are not 100% about. 98, but not 100. Division of labor. So I hope I have better things to talk about next time!
I tried to get a photo printed I worked all yesterday and it disappeared! Not with me, at a store! I buy a writing journal and they disappear at the store. Could be me or the store's computer. This happens over and over again through the years. Anyway, I’m going back to see if I saved a copy of the picture. My book journal goes well. I talk about my drawing and whether to take a class. My work and leaves, what I did that day. I got another jab at leaves yesterday and the day before. Got on the roof. Saves much sludge and stain getting leaves off. The new blower I have has a higher speed and it moves leaf banks and eve buildup. Love that! I had a bunch of stuff this morning on a list. I got downtown and did most of it, but lost the list! Always losing things! I got pics off my cell phone and now have space. I’ve made up my mind I will print off the drawing pics on there to gain more space. Bought more food, but don’t know if there is stuff in there that will hurt my kidneys. We have had a reprieve. Won’t last. I got around the art class though. I figure that I will try out what is taught first to see if I could work with these media in this way. Doesn’t hurt to save money if you can. I want a lot of stuff. But I am pretty good about buying new anything unless I’ve gone over just why I want it and how much the cost and can it be done anyway else. I just have not had time for pics up here yet, and drawings. There is a show I could try out for, but I do drawings just this side of casual and not that side of the other. But I should probably submit anyway. The problem is I’ve been working so hard at advancing that most drawings are okay but I don’t see to finish because of slump problem. Photos have dried up, but thought I might try and get more ending color landscapes. That day in the park was magic. That dam cell phone does better at fisheye then my expensive lens!!!! Not really. Maybe I will try and shoot fruit to draw. It is so dark. The temperature dropped way low this afternoon and the sleet should have been snow. It’s still yellow!
Sorry I have not been in here! I want to try and put something in here but I tried to take a vacation and now I might get time but just on cue my heating system is making it so I can’t breathe so I can’t do work. I may have to move and do this somewhere else and then the outside air will be filled with smoke! I’m getting ready to quit and I mean everything. Why can’t I enjoy the holiday? I’ve done my time. This really makes me mad. We will see. I just finished some extensive art tests yesterday and have another picture going but this one needs the most masking or inlays so I know where to go, that I have ever had. It’s a snowman portrait and I wondering if it would work with white with the blue black background or a graphite over. So I’ve got that to do. Got to shop now. I’m trying to put my cell phone landscapes in here, but I don’t know how it will look (fliters?) here since these pics look better on the phone than they do off. It’s hard to get them on computer but I have a example ready. No time. I’m happy with my drawing. I still don’t know where to finish the ending details off, but I’m relaxing more with every picture. And it shows. I hope I don’t go off the cliff on the other side. Maybe some overall knowledge of where I want to go with art or maybe I will tell myself to plow back a little.
I got a problem downstairs. I thought it was my appliances. I can’t breathe! I’ve spent $500 already having things checked and tested and replaced and nothing works. I was going to spend another amount on something else. I remained objective on a side detail and went over to my neighbors. The same thing happened over there (90% happened, he had just bought a new furnace)!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything is electric here except water heater and furnace. I couldn’t believe it. I must be super sensitive to the something new in gas or something. It stops and starts. This started two days after Christmas. No one else seems to be affected.
In the process people mentioned mold. I do have mold in the basement from a water main break up the street that flowed into the sewer and the sewer backed up into everyone’s basement around 7 years ago. My insurance paid and I had the basement cleaned up but I said no to them tearing out the paneling. So mold has shown. I thought it was strange that everyone started jumping on the mold thing like it was the only cause! So this cause started immediately two days after Christmas!? So and so and so. My cousins came over and helped tear out the paneling and I am in the process of getting rid of most everything in the basement due to the mold. There’s nothing much down there, but there is some to clean out. I must admit that for many many years prior I have kept my heat down – way down to save money. So this problem must be addressed. But it’s not the mold causing my breathing problems, maybe adding to, but not the cause. Everything is fine when I’m outside or in electric heat. So when I went over to my neighbors and then to certain stores and other homes that I freaked, when the same thing happens, I can’t breathe! How do I get away from this? I can’t replace my furnace and water heater both with electric and probably couldn’t afford to pay to operate. I don’t think this is intentional, but once again I get taken down by it, parts of me are so sensitive. So sorry nothing much in here. I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I lived way up north, far from anything. So when you are trying to solve a big problem try all solutions, no matter how weird. In this case I got a irrefutable answer. Sometimes the evidence is not so clear. I don’t know what I am going to do. I’ve been sleeping in the car, but I can’t do that in the cold weather.
WINTER HINTS
Really, don’t do anything with sugar, flour, or dry milk but over the sink. Trash can – plastic bag and grocery sack inside that Plastic runner inside entry door and leave shoes there. Step outside shoes and onto carpet or floor not plastic. Wearing clean socks in house, not dirty outside shoes keeps floors super clean Don’t let dirty dishes dry out Car gas low? Stick “GAS” sign over speedometer. Write due date of bills on outside. If need set timer for charging phone Important job? Two alarm clocks, one not electric. Don’t bring up basement dirt, wear thongs down there and set them by upstairs door. Winter close-up? Open door/windows and get cold air in, then close…fresh warm air. Winter brighter lights inside. Big shop? Go online or call with questions. Watch water meter after freeze to make sure no outside leaks. Can insulate outside spigots. Tax deadline April Spring Forward daylight savings time. Cold weather bag in car, mittens, socks, coat, shovel in trunk…etc Clean under your kitchen sink, closets. Make you feel better. Perhaps try extra iron in diet! Get a bit of exercise. If can, go somewhere.
Practice pics. How I feel back tired. Limb on roof, stuff not in gas exhaust so I can breathe.
I still have art block. It’s better but I still don’t have a clear strong back the way I did in college. It’s better. And I think it’s coming back enough in future to set my stuff up 100% like I used to, but I’m sorry if I keep trying to do figurative stuff and am not relaxed enough to pull it off. It looks square. I can’t see this yet. I used to know what I was seeing. I am seeing better and better as I get my original figure back, but it’s not all the way. I think I am leaving too much in. Maybe I should only be doing lines in here. I want to do figurative things and can do just lines, which is easy to pick. But lines are never enough work. I don’t get my full feeling, so I keep doing figurative stuff. I hope this is an explanation for tons of not-streamed-lined crap pics! Then I don’t know. I have done, as I said before, really abstract portraits that I thought at the time were junk. Then seeing them a year later, I thought they looked better. I wish I could get this figure junk out of the way. I went into a slump in college and it is still slowly going away. I wish I could speed things up. So I need to adjust many drawings that I have done recently. With quality copy and Photoshop, it is not so hard. The physical item is not so easy, esp since I want to go multi media and am sometimes doing pen…UgU. So maybe I’ll try some lines again to hope it comes off more sophisticated in here.
The power went out at 8PM last night and after the oil lamp fumes and candle my lungs were again feeling bad………………then something again was in my furnace gas exhaust that hurt my lungs I think it was. I got 3 drawings done yesterday and this morning with no sleep and took snow pics this morning. I find that if I squint I can produce a more relaxed composition that looks right on rather than always the jutty ones. This is a big deal. It was really cold, nothing much on somewhat level ground so I was making it up and did find a few trees and barn. Another pretty barn is gone around here too. I’m glad I also do art. 3 pictures done. I get pictures and I get practice. Don’t know where that is going, but it’s going. Glad I got it. I don’t feel good.
Been drawing. As I go I feel more at ease. I’m getting the feeling I want to take off. I want graphite gel! That isn’t possible. Painting is starting to nudge me. All my life people have been trying to get me to paint and I didn’t like it. I still love drawing. If I were to try painting I would have to put together some kind of looser composition that I don’t quite know how to do. I’m too tight. I’m becoming looser. Like I said, when you practice drawing and practice and practice it takes you somewhere. You don’t stand still. But it would be another thing to have fun with. I’m sure I will still want to draw, because I can’t even come close to refined hedging display without drawing. I also need more photographic filters. I have some, but most don’t warp or display like I would want to. I haven't explored all yet. The best one does things I like but gives off a bad vibe instead of a good one. If there were a quicker way to display filtered results I could process a lot of images that way. But I have the impulse to draw or paint by hand, not just on the computer. That is not going away. I’m cut off from knowing about all these phone aps for apple etc… My cheap smart phone does good on some filters, but no warping. I keep coming up with cool looking pictures if just they were warped. And in transfer, they look slightly better on phone than on computer. And photo editing. I haven’t been getting any in with all the sickness about breathing. It’s like I get punished with that when I do art. I’m beginning to see that most people have more around them and this leads to more relaxed artwork, but I feel that I have a place too. I can swing it a bit. The trick is to keep leading out and practicing and remember how you used to do it so you can tie that in when needed also. REALLY HAPPY ARTWORK DOING!
Winter is losing it’s grip!
GALLERY TRIP Couple days ago I wonderfully got out of town and went to a art gallery talk, over expressionism and the figure. I need a proof reader now in a big way because these terms, artists, dates, and ways of thinking in art history I don’t have a grasp of. The astute reader may find many mistakes. Although I have immersed myself in art, artworks, trains of thought and have seen and studied many many artists and their works through history, I don’t encompass all, I skip over what I deem secondary and in skipping I miss things and forget things and never learn things at all. So this is a misbegotten muddle of my own thoughts on art that I have encountered throughout my life. Don’t take references as law, I fly like a bird through this because I want to produce art, not scrutinize it. I still have studied it though. I started art in college because I was in band throught high school. I took art classes. But in the time I grew up in…1950 – 1970s the whole world was the biggest display piece for art and music etc…you could ever want. If you wanted to study art, serious art, you never had far to look. You could do it on your own and I did unknowingly through TV, magazines, advertisements, books, newspapers, backgrounds and set designs. It was all over. Because this show took my back to my college experience. Like viewing New York art world then all again. I was a great show. And I am interested in this Expressionism trend because it is close to what I am exploring now with my art. My practice practiceing to become more fluid, or travel down the emotional path to see where it goes. There were some great pictures in the show. I must report that viewing the slides shown with the talk did not come near to seeing the same paintings in the show! This really hits home. Anything I put in my journal, anything I see in a photo, really does not show the artwork as is. I think you can represent design better by photo or digital than fine art. Maybe I’m seeing the results of less quality computer display, than some have at their disposal. I always feel my photos look square in my journal. So when you looked at the paintings in the real (not from a slide) you could then see true color relationships and detail that was really missing from the slides at the talk. Really the “fine” was put back in the fine art. It was compelling! Another reason anyone interested in fine gallery art might want to (if they haven’t already) take an adventure of visiting a big gallery. The bigger you go, the more available to see in any past century. By standing feet from the paintings or drawings you can see more than you would be able to see on line – I think. Most past paintings were made to be seen in the raw, not from a photo or on computer. But, we have today, the luxury of being able to create art on the computer – it looks on other computers just as it should. But for anyone working not on computer, this is a problem. The paintings in the show were immediate and full bodied, honest and mostly free from uptightness. Compositions were honestly wrought as they were and strived for. I have hiccups. I don’t know, or have not seen enough of art 1900ish. And what I am laying out is not wrong or right. First during probably 1980 to somewhere close to now I have noted a strong advertisement through the Impressionists, to educate and love fine art for anyone interested or becoming interested in it. Gallery advertisements, gifts, books, talks, shows etc etc… all displaying Impressionism. It has gone on and on through all this time. I loved this! I love the Impressionists. I lived their lives through books written – I know them! Would love to see Giverny! I love their artwork. I love historical works older than these throughout time past also. But I do feel at home with the Impressionists. In my mind they laid the groundwork for television. So after Impressionism I get a blank. And this show helped. Because you also want to become acquainted with the artists who were your grandfathers and fathers, not just your great and great great grandfathers! Maybe I didn’t take this college class, or was absent that day covering very modern work. But I lay a blank with the most recent past. Thinking about it, I think that way deep people got into recent art and set it into a sophisticated separate abstract. (Which has always been the case in which “art” is visual symbols, and then with realism waving in and out more through time.) So I think that more recent art and artists were trying to take the next step in visual advancement this way. I’ve never been to galleries much – but I have been to them and have had mostly to view examples through photos only. My gallery visual experience was with the Impressionists and earlier. I’ve never seen raw work by more modern people. So I would like to. I get the feeling that I am the problem, not their artwork. Because I feel like the more recent artwork that I have seen almost looks like the direction they are taking Expressionist / Abstraction is the right direction with the wrong artists in it! I know that is probably not the case and I am not seeing these works in a gallery. I am a full bodied potato and I like to see artwork like that. But I feel I am missing the lighter abstraction sophistication of these artists. So I liked this show and maybe I can find time to look into this more. I’d like to go to a gallery and see the big recent names in person! I’ve always noted a break from the Impressionists on, into less art of my liking. Van Gogh did amazing modern portraits! All on his own, new ground, and hit every painting with a unique symphony of newness, abstraction, freshness, right before you, and still drawing it all together! It worked! I’m willing to go into further abstraction but I can’t find a favorite artist with the recent moderns. Nothing comes together. So I want to explore more and see these in the raw. I may be missing the boat, because I want to see full bodyiness with the big names. You can’t always expect art to be visually part of the physical world. Such things are debates throughout the artworld all the time. You probably know the most recent examples of “art.” are even as strange. But Warhol did stand it out somewhat again and Basquiat also became figurative and abstract. So seeing the show got me thinking about these things that I just hadn’t brought to formal decisions about yet. This was always on the back burner of feeling. I had a great time. And I really don’t want anyone to get the idea that a more designedly application can not be fine art!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, all doors are open. And computer artwork has no physical barriers!
Drawing Tip Paper is probably more prone to degrade with this method if you don’t gesso or cover it (I looked but can’t find much on the Internet about this). The way we washed graphite in college was by using turps (turpentine). I’m not turning you away from water-soluble graphite at all, but throwing out another option that way works with plain graphite. We had no water-soluble in college. Just starting then with the square graphite sticks in grades. I still have mine! Or some. Turps really wash plain graphite! Does not work with water soluble graphite. A person I called said Rubbing Alcohol worked with water- soluble – I haven’t had the chance to try this yet. He also said that this turps application would not turn the paper yellow after 50 years, unless the paper itself yellowed. So keep in mind the paper degradation – I don’t know much more about this part of it. But turps really wash plain graphite out. If all you want to do after is photo your work – your all set! Don’t breathe turps in an unventilated area.
1ST robin!
LATE WINTER
BRAND NEW SNOW STANDS TREE SEEDS, BACK AND FORTH SIFT, DAPPLED POWDER SHADES THE LEAVES, SKIT ON THE ICE, WINTER CAN'T COPE, SLOWLY, SLOWLY, LOVE MY SUFFICE
ARTIST MUSINGS I know there are people around that are hurt or mad when they see others having shows, or publishing, or gaining any kind of esteem in college, institute or galleries, or anywhere. It doesn’t bother me because I have certain ideas about this in todays world. This is my idea, not preaching. I’ve talked about this before, not clarified a few points. First I’m talking about not just in US but all over the world. I have talked about my idea about evolution…yes like the big science of human evolution. Certainly we took millions of years to form tools and advance, but it’s my idea that we change ever so so slightly from generation to generation also (from somewhere in the past til now.) Very slightly. It’s like the differences between everyone in your grandfather’s generation and the differences in your parent’s generation and the baby boom generation and younger generations. I’m not talking about growing or losing fingers or toes although that may also be going on invisibly. I’m talking about our conception of the world and adaption to it. Our endeavor towards it. Of course we are still using most of our grandfather’s framework to live in this world, and that framework was wrought way in the past step by step. But we change things micron by micron by micron from generation to generation. Good apparent example is government, laws, outlooks. Did the parents of the baby boom generation have an advertised Woodstock? So in my mind things change so very micron by micron right now in passing generations. Very little, but I bet, if you were to compile a huge amount of random photos of all kinds of people from one generation and also compile them from surrounding generations and then run a slideshow loops of these pictures side by side - you would see a difference in generations. To simplify, make three to four picture frames across a computer screen. In the first frame only run thousands of different photos (in an everchanging loop - of the generation that bore the baby boom generation. Any body, action, or head shot from thousands of different people all over the world will do – but they must be from that generation. In the next frame only the baby boom generation, the next children from the baby boomers generation. And then run all the frames side by side, at the same time, in their different loops. And watch it. Watch it for a long time, or everyday. Kind of like an autosterogram. You may be able to see the pole difference between these generations, ever so slight. Thsi is what I’m talking about. You might be able to see a generalized difference. You might be able somehow to do this with film too. So I believe in this slight difference in generations. So in humans recorded history we have used art to communicate, worship, symbols for ideas, and present interpretations of beauty, emotions, life. Some like it, love it, and mostly hold it in one kind of high esteem. Artists of now and later generations are and were held in a kind of high regard. So I think that in the baby boom generation something might have popped. I think that in the past and way past generations people did hold or decide on one or a group of artists were THE TOP [probably after they were dead – but that’s another thing]. I believe that these artists held all the components of great art. All together, each person. Today I more tend to think that some components are held by individual artists, but not all components, like in the past. And/Or there are many many many more who are structured to and want to produce top fine art. Maybe that is very generalized, but I think it could be true. I think that more people are serious about art in all walks of life. I’m sure more want to explore it. So why could not their artworks be deemed really great? Even if some people (who were serious only did one to a few artworks!) Why can’t all these people be put on the artist register? If it’s true, it’s true for history. And this is because of the point of evolution we are in now. How the generations today are made up. And I am talking about people who are serious about art, not piggybackers. But, also, by serious, I don’t mean that you have majored in it in college, or do it continually, or have given up other things you want in your life. But it’s a part of your life. This is what I feel. And I think that slightly, this kind of thing can filter out to other human endeavors also. Many people want to be the best and the best is set up somewhere else. And probably they are also the best. But that set up, probably, just as seriously, helps keep everyone uniform and safe, with no high confidence and law breaking. So I internalize these thoughts and don’t get whacked out of place when I see others art put up. In the long run I believe this. I believe I am good too. Ha! Although I would like to travel and be able to be more freed up sometimes. So I think many people can and are good at art.
So I didn’t outline this the first time I talked about it. Hope you can follow. I’ve been thinking about evolution since high school and remember stuff, so you may not know exactly my train of thought. It's out there though, but mainly evolution is concerned about more evident things like onset of upright walking, time of gestation, onset of tool making, leaving Africa etc..., but I think about why things change in modern history, different images and clothing, ways of doing things...Why? and I came up with my own theory.
3/20/19 I'm sitting here, my back is shot. It's in the air again...of course I'm going to Kazoo tomorrow to see art! Monday did come together, I ate something to help me and it freshly worked and on a day that was warm and dry and no wind. I got (I don't believe it) all the hidden leaves in front and back to the street. And this was more than you think. I couldn't believe my real luck – I may not have another chance. This was real backbreaking and I thought my back wouldn't hold up. After the front, I thought I wouldn't be able to finish back. My back worried tinned hurt, I felt dizzy, but it didn't give out. I was a hollow item, but had no kick back except the air when I got in. Got tax done. But I've got a fallen ice limb on roof, most basement stuff to get rid of. And now a faulty stool to fix...because I was so tired from leaves. It's not done – the sticks and there are more leaves! I'm sick of this!
I had some fun last night watching videos – I went to sleep. Some of these kids doing them are really good, cute, and real. I like this. Wish I had it in college. Lord knows there is nothing on TV lately. It's rainy tonight and I wish I had Internet on my little laptop, really I'm at the coffee shop and sitting up at this table is killing my back, I need to be in a lounger. They take a stab at chairs like that in some public places but I wouldn't sit in them. Oh and to the kids explaining kind of new tec stuff on videos. I think your videos are great! They are so good in spacing and dropping a word or motion to try and clear the way for less tec savy people trying to learn. I really like what you are doing. How about written transcripts for certain harder tec stuff? I think videos are a wonderful new way to inform, teach and entertain. Thank You! Thank You again. Wish I'd had this in college. This is a wonderful new addition! Not new, but I get late.' It's really great.
I'd like to draw, but I'm tired. I don't want to go home – the air. I got some silver ink to put down and then draw over, but my tester patch dried and all you can see is sparkles, and I can't have it. There are some nice younger people along the way. I ask about canvas paper and the instantaneous answer was Bristol. That would work. Probably with painting. Have some already, packed away from a ways ago. Tomorrow Kazoo because I love art. Jasperita
Days later………….. I got the stool fixed. The silver paper tube was in it. I hoped it would be, I flushed it once, the time it happened, and have had to go somewhere else while waiting the fix. Afterwards had to clean up all the runners I put down in the house so no boots would touch the floors. Then I had to clean the toilet because he had to take it outside to get the bracket out. Boy is it good to be able to Go at home. I couldn’t eat or drink for fear it would make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The branch is off the roof. Some friends came over and took a stab. We all agreed that this was a tricky circumstance and after cutting off all they could safely, called a crew. They did it without boom! Yard pickup is going, my neighbor took the bigger pieces for his fireplace. It’s a wonder that tree segment did no damage to the roof, but as it fell it’s top branches ran into other branches from another tree. Sounds good but it’s other big branch was laying on the roof! Or tick points were. God was watching out for me on that one.
STUDIO TIPS
DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF ART STUFF? DIFFERENT MEDIA, PAPERS, TOOLS? DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT IS WHERE? YOU CAN MAKE THIS A LITTLE EASIER IF SPACE IS LIMITED. I DO THIS. FOR MEDIA TOTES OR BOXES LIST WHAT IS INSIDE AND PUT THESE DIFFERENT LISTS INSIDE ALL THE TOTES YOU HAVE…WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT THE MINUTE YOU OPEN THE BOX. ADD ALL OF THESE LISTS ON A SEPARATE PAPER, DIVIDED INTO THE SEPARATE TOTES… SO YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING QUICKER BY GRABBING THAT PAPER FIRST. PUT THIS SUMMARY TO DIGITAL ALSO AND BACK IT UP. CAN DO SAME WITH ANY OTHER THINGS – STORAGE OF PAPER OR SKETCHBOOKS – CANVAS – FINISHED WORKS – OTHER TOOLS? BECAUSE IF YOU ACCUMULATE A LOT AND DON’T HAVE MUCH SPACE IN A ROOM OR SPACE, YOU WILL HAVE PROBLEMS GETTING TO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE, ESPECIALLY CLOSETS. YOU HAVE TO EMPTY THE WHOLE CLOSET TO FIND ONE THING! (WHEN ORGANIZING THE CLOSET, PUT THE LEAST USED THINGS TO THE BACK AND THE MOST USED TO FRONT.) LIST CLOSET ITEM PLACEMENT ON A PAPER. PUT INSIDE CLOSET AND ON THE SUMMARY PAPER ALSO!
CLOSETS HOLD MOISTURE. UNLESS YOU CAN LEAVE CLOSET DOOR OPEN TO GET DRY HEAT OR AIR CONDITIONING. CAN CONSIDER CLOSET HANGERS WHICH WILL DE-HUMIDIFY A CLOSET. MUST RE CHARGE THEM FROM TIME TO TIME. OR RUN SM DEHUMIDIFIER IN STUDIO. DON’T GO OVERBOARD AND GET THE RH TOO LOW.
CAN YOU ACQUIRE A BIGGER SPACE FOR STUDIO IF NEEDED? ATTIC/BASEMENT/GARAGE/OUT BUILDING/ LIVING ROOM/ DINING ROOM/ ANOTHER ROOM? SHELVES? STACKABLE FILING CABINETS? OPEN CLOSETS, CLOSED CLOSETS. TABLES, CHAIRS, COUCHES. I MENTIONED SHELVES BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH EMPTY SPACE NEAR THE CEILING IN A ROOM. WATCH THE WEIGHT BUILDUP IN THE ONE ROOM. DON’T WANT THE FLOOR TO COLLAPSE! YOU CAN COMPILE OTHER INFO NEEDED ON OTHER LISTS TOO!... DRAWING/PAINTING MEDIA COMBINATIONS AND TIPS PAPER. DAY TRIP OR OUTING LISTS TO CHOOSE FROM WHEN WORK ING OUTSIDE ON LOCATION OR TAKING TRIPS. WOULD YOU WANT TO SCAN AND DIGITALLY ORGANIZE YOUR FINISHED WORKS?
WHAT ALSO IS BEING STORED IN ANY PORTFOLIOS YOU HAVE? LIST IT AND LIST ON PORTFOLIO. WHAT PAPER OR SKETCHBOOKS ARE YOU STORING IN THEM? ANY SHOWS, GALLERY SHOWS, JOBS ORGANIZATION? LISTS FOR ANY PEOPLE, PLACES, ORGANIZATIONS ADDRESS OR PHONE NUMBERS. REFERENCE BOOKS, PAPERS, FOLDERS OR BOOK CASE. SOME OF THIS CAN GO DIGITAL REAL EASY. BACKUP!
WANT YOUR BED, COMPUTER, LAPTOP IN THERE? CONSIDER COMBINING COMPUTER STUFF WITH ART IN STUDIO! YOU MAY WANT TO CROSS WORK.! COMPUTER TABLE, DRAFTING TABLE, ART HORSE, EASEL, TABORETS, LIGHTING CHOICE, WINDOW LIGHT SOURCE, MOVABLE AND CLIP ON LIGHTING. REFRIG? BATHROOM? VISITOR SEATING, REMOVABLE SEATING FOR PARTIES OR TALKS? SOMETHING ON WHEELS TO MOVE STUFF AROUND? TRACING AUTOGRAPH? PLEXIGLAS. ANY STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY SETUP?????????
THIS CAN QUICKLY GROW TO THE SIZE OF A LIVING ROOM OR MORE! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IN ART AND/OR PHOTOGRAPHY IN FUTURE? CAN YOU PROJECT THIS? IF YOU CAN, THIS CAN HELP ESTABLISH WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NOW WITH THE STUDIO. WATCH WHERE YOU STORE THINGS THAT MIGHT BE A HAZARDOUS FOR YOU OR OTHERS. STORE AWAY SEALED. DON’T CONSTANTLY BREATHE THIS IN WHILE WORKING OR SLEEPING. AIR PURIFIER OR STORE IT SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM YOU. HAVE A RH AND TEMP GAGE.
TELEPHONE, CELL, TV FOR BREAKS, MUSIC, BED OR COUCH FOR NAPS. ANSWERING SERVICE, CALENDAR, REMINDERS, DRY ERASE BOARD, STICKIES, GARBAGE CANS. YOU CAN SEE HOW EASY IT IS FOR ARTISTS TO LIVE IN THEIR STUDIOS!!!!! MAKES SENSE IF YOUR SINGLE. IF STUDIO IS WAY BIG, YOU CAN RAISE A FAMILY IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EQUIPMENT SAFE FROM KIDS AND PETS. I HAVEN’T COVERED SCULPTURE OR POTTERY OR PRINTING, MURALS, INSTALLATIONS ETC… FOR THIS TIP, I FEEL OTHERS COULD ADD THEIR NOTES IN TOO.
OF COURSE THERE IS THAT HORRIBLE REALITY, OR MAYBE IT IS NOT THAT HORRIBLE, OF ANOTHER JOB TO MAKE MONEY IF YOUR NOT MAKING THAT MUCH OR OTHER WAYS TO GET OUT OF THIS. IT’S ALWAYS GOOD HAVING A LITTLE EXERCISE OR MAYBE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE FOR A BIT OF TIME. I DON’T KNOW. SO THIS HAS HELPED ME. I ONLY SUFFER IN THE SUMMER WHEN I WOULD LIKE TO DO DIGITAL WORK OR WEB SURFING OUTSIDE AND I AM RUNNING OUT OF SPACE IN MY ROOM!!!! :)
Soft sunny day – Felt Good! Great Institute Movie – I could have written! Serious music - human hand. No Bristol, no catalog. Explored new fast food noodles and got a bag for drawing, can be a purse! A small insect flew on me! Lights out at Meijer’s …black! Black!! Bookstore. I thought about my friend here. Do I get one more day to clean up sticks? To explore storefronts. Professional art! Back thru cloudy bluster wind…Nice day. Frogs singing. A deer & Sandhill Crane pond, so cute.
It’s next day and I got sticks up. Leaves under scrubs. Chore guy get? I ordered something and my phone calendar is full. If I had resources? Saw another photo place burned and another barn down. There is so much Spring, just yet to tip green.
NOTRE-DAME CATHEDRAL HAS BURNED
NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL FIRE
Money is coming in. Keep it coming, please it always costs much more than projected estimates. Now I hear billions. I want to talk about this, but I know next to nothing – but I’m putting down my thoughts, trying to help whether I’m right or wrong.
This can’t be a replacement job. The closest example I can come to is how some antique cars look after a repainting job. To start, an antique car’s original paint job is eroded and mostly not there. Take basic black. They remove all the remaining paint on the car and repaint it with “Black” car paint. A modern cheap black paint. That’s it . The antique car, a serious endeavor, a luxury attainment & achievement (wrought by hours of thought, testing, advisement, research, analysis, and tons of suggestions, meetings, free thought, work and work and work) becomes a piece of junk – a joke, because of the “new” cheap looking paint job. I know the people who have it, like it and may be innocent about that, and have every right to do this but…it is driven around as an advertisement of disrespect and/or stupidity to some. Like I said, I’m sure the owner is satisfied – whether by intent or mindlessness, and there are other models of this antique car around – so be it – but there is only one Notre Dame Cathedral. In the car example the older paint was just removed!!!! No chemical analysis to recreate the color. They see black – they put black. The older black was not just black! It was a blend of chemical ingredients, process, and exact genuine pigments, not just black, other colors were in there. It was not a flat , economical modern-day car paint.
France knows this. Recreations (I think) take time. Last I heard, I won’t even be alive by the time this restoration could be finished. It is money, but it is also analysis and implementation. I’m sure they have done homework before, as much as possible, on everything or essential elements of the cathedral. Testing, samples, gaining knowledge of processes used, materials, ways of working. Fire is a constant danger (then & now) for everyone. The loss of everything to fire is something serious to plan ahead about.
So to me this restoration, which really needs all the money and expertise it can get, is a fine art scripted extended process. The more way out circus stunts you see, or know about being used on this restoration, the better it is for the Cathedral looking just as it did. I’m not saying that today they won’t add in modern elements in to prolong it’s life and to combat dangers. (Maybe they can rig or add a sprinkler system way up in the roof, like they said it didn’t have.)
At this point, as I am writing this, it is the next day after the fire. I hope the stonework holds.
It is very lucky they were in the process of restoration already and many relics were already removed. And many other elements…paintings ect…were heroically removed after the fire started! (I’m getting most of this from TV reporting.) Ceiling timbers, vaulting? Stained glass windows and probably statues with whatever else, was lost forever to the fire.
Lost forever, lost forever. How close can we get? The “forest of timbers” in the ceiling. Did these originally come from a certain forest? Where was it? Probably the strongest and best timber they chose for this purpose. Are any relative trees of these ceiling timbers alive today? Are they as fit? What was done to this timber? How was it formed and built into the cathedral? Improvements to new timber to be used today? The original ceiling timber today was old and maybe it today didn’t look anywhere as good as it did in history. It burned quite well!
Anything in this area of completely burnt and lost (to me) is in a netherland of restoration. Of course you can restore any of it. But restoring it just as it was, is sometimes impossible. You must settle for degrees. Why? Because you actually need the medieval.
As example the ceiling timbers. Of course we today know the layout plan. But during the original building maybe the architect, or one of them, gave out secrete advice or angling details for a few timbers, or something more sensitive and vague to do while erecting the beams. Gave it to the roof building leader. (Or maybe something vague was done to timbers or specific timbers before they were ready to be installed. Or maybe the framework they were to be installed in was somehow slightly partly altered.) The roofing leader saw that this fitting was just subtle right on every day. The architect overviewed these subtleties. It’s really hard to get around all this. These people lived in a different world. There was God and there was Earth. They never dreamed or felt that they could ever set foot on the Moon. The Moon was the Moon. Unattainable wonder, part of God. (I sometimes think that by going to the moon and other achievements, we think that we are better than them…they are the stepping stone to us. I think this is two different ways of being and there exists no better or worse way. We are here because of them. They built the Cathedral and we are here.) They didn’t go to the moon, but lower down I feel that in some ways they knew a lot more about lower. Finer and more elaborate. And this is a slide rule thru history. We may never even be aware of all they did do to their materials, placement, and workmanship. I do believe that we will miss some things they did in building Notre Dame Cathedral. We will not be able to recreate 100% but close. Their hand, their way of endeavor.
Stained Glass Windows. Some were lost in the fire. I don’t know, were microscopic maps or photos taken before? Is that possible? Can this map be microscopically recreated into new stain glass in this way? Or using certain really relaxed people or artists to recreate the images by hand? Or use both or a mixture? Completely recreating the glass, pigment, lead mix? Is this possible? The closest way you can get to build the same flourishes and color and quality of the glass. I think the glass has to be the same. The color and lead and The Images…. Some things or operations may have to be invented!!!!!!
And Workers! Who could work? Sadly many people who could work with this are probably now in the field working on other projects – fulfilling their own lives and the worlds too. Where possible, is it possible some of these people could shift a bit of their non essential work to others and have time to oversee, advise, and check workings for a space in time? Temporary space or spaces in time…and then be able to resume your own work or do it in tandem, as long as this didn’t get in the way of your career? Just a suggestion because I know that some older and younger people are committed in their fields. And these are people who can work with subtlety. Just something to throw in a hat. You know more about this than me. Can other people shift and do fill in work for the people taking time off? or generally work on some aspect of this? Computer and cell phones will help along with sometimes physical being there to see and check.
I don’t know. I see all these television shows on restoration and wonder what would the restoration of Notre Dame Cathedral be like. Perhaps a new show (TV Internet) for to be able to know. Because this is an awful thing. Was it an accident? That would be easier. So many have known so much good all their lives. Now they will carry this bad with them for the rest of their life. Although history is full bad. I hope for the ongoing best. What do we do next?
MY HEART MOTIF IS TOO BIG! SPRING HAS SPRUNG.
Spring is passing fast. Why is everything at the spring and fall, I have no time to experience it. I haven’t been outside to get to the yard. Blessedly I had my eves done and other things. I have got to study now. And I moved a weight bearing item out of studio and am replacing it with another materials case. I have just enough room in there to sleep, watch tv, do photos. With all the storage, I have a problem with sketching and doing artwork. Getting by. Yard work may have to be set back til next week. I don’t know if my mower is going to work. And I can’t test until I am going to run it. The car is still undone as to cleaning. And the red spot is still on it. I’m staring pictures but not finishing them because I don’t have enough rest to see. I have a new sketchbook that I won’t use up, but I bought it on sale since I knew I could get into painting in it. Under painting and over painting with acrylic and pencil etc... I needed watercolor too. I wish I had another room and far more room and cabinets and storage for paper and books. Really crammed in that room. Miss just knowing where something exactly is and then going and laying hands on it right away! With the new bin, I will be able to store less used equipment, freeing other bins for newer stuff that is keeping the older bins from closing correctly! I still have to unstack bins to get to the one that has what I want. My tv is not working correctly, or cable. I’m hungry. I just got back from getting bottle deposits back and bought some soap my Dad used to use. I miss my parents. not a heart up there yet Got so close to putting pics in here, but drawing, working on origins for edited, edited 3rd draft list, and tests. My cataloging program got a workout and did wonderful! Computer worked and I worked on a photo document. Didn’t get pics done. Takes scrutiny to get pictures in and that takes time. I wish I had money for all the searching I have to do when I don’t know how to do something on computer. That empties time!
Lately not eyeballing I just let my emotions take over for practice. More sure of marking practice. These not so sophisticated, I think. As I go sometimes the outline becomes more relaxed because of practice and that cancels wideness I guess. Practice is an ever changing slide rule. If you don’t get good results it’s a growing downer. What are you going to do? You get more confident in marking and you might then have more room to eyeball as you draw and make changes you know will look better. I don’t know. In here never looks as good as the physical. Cat's left ear sticks out too much in journal, at home wasn't so bad. I need a better scanner. I’ve thought of dropping drawings in the journal and just do little digital outlines only. But still putting drawings in. On better monitors, it always looks better. Continually obsessed that mine must look like theirs? I have impulses to make, why should I not follow them? Continually comparing my art. Maybe I should forget that. I freeze though, when I look too boxy, I hope I lose more of that. A gallery owner would probably crop more out of the picture in my case. Sometimes I do! Maybe you always end up wrestling with something. Practice does change things though, I already want my darks to go faster. I thought donkey photo cute. There is another better cat picture, not in. I’ve been gaining ground with practice. Am getting pictures and slowly am gaining confidence to draw on better paper. But it’s true, you get better at drawing, you can paint. In my case I’m going to try. I still can’t do color. I’m thinking that painting will take longer than drawing because you will have to fiddle with detail (?) Painting stands out more. Who puts these on walls anymore except for city galleries! I don’t know! Maybe a website here, which I have this journal site. People will buy prints sometimes. Anyway I love drawing and I love having this activity to turn to. Want to take it with me!
Here is me running to catch up with everything! I admit I just got a refurbished tablet for fun! I’m not a cartoonist, but I remember my first art lesson. We had to scrawl and look for a picture, and this is how I made this! My cousin calls me the white tornado and that is what is has been like. The tablet is loads of fun. I can’t wait to play around more with it, gee I even used a COLOR!
Sorry no pics. I’m taking a ton, but just time to get them off card! I have a thousand stories to tell, but would just get me in trouble with taking pictures. For now. 50th anniversary of moon landing. I remember that so well. EVERYONE was watching, hoping they would actually get there. What an adventure for everyone! And they did walk around ON IT! What a deep rush, everyone though deep about that. A wonderful thing, for man. I try and follow the universe when I get the chance or when new info comes in, on TV. My opinion now is that Black Holes (which I have followed all the information and new discoveries) are a fundamental pole of the make up of everything, or what we can see or apart of. Perhaps the Big Bang was a explosion from an ultimate hole and we are drifting back again to another big bang. I think they are fundamental. I think they are to the other side (of some sort) The first time I herd about them, I thought it was a stupid. But I have followed this and now take and believe in them. Esp. at the center of our galaxy. I hope no little ones come by! But I have been thinking. Aside from God, why does there have to be anything? Why does there have to be anything? We are a fundamental part of this and believe that we, like the universe are the answer. But why does there have to be anything? My dad was once talking about that everything may be contained in the leg of a chair…outer space and everything as far as we can see and know. I’d rather think of that as another life form that is so big that we can not see it. But whatever! Why does that life form have to be!? (I go as far as this and can’t deal with alter dimensions and realities.) I really wonder at this – why does there have to be anything? So maybe it does come down to physics. Because of Physics. Reflecting Physics. Birth, Death. But if there has to be something, it means that something is something and there is a reason or outlet for something, rather than nothing. And that is a profound, a key, maybe evidence of God. And then I come down to earth, feel better, and want to take pictures or draw, be with people, laugh, investigate other things. Outer space is so big that when I think about it or look at stars for a long time I get freeked out! But I finally came up with this. We must be part of something.
I was thinking...the lack of anything is fundamental. But why is not the idea of birth and death - burning and falling into a black hole to be reborn again into burning, so not fundamental. It can be the only thing there is, the only way ANYTHING can be. Why do we need to understand this? By it's nature, we may never. Could be God.
Another photo day! Went two places. Saw two deer. Went to a place I hadn’t been to all year. Had to leave note in car. (I’m blown out from photoing – still have to pay a bill.) Sun just breaking and I saw a silhouette of interest way up ahead. Looked like a deer, but you can’t be sure, it could be anything that far. I dove in my camera case for my opera glasses. The first pocket did not have them, and after looking in the second pocket, the silhouette was gone – SO IT WAS A DEER. Probably a young doe not knowing. But they, for all their sweetness, are the most resilient dense things on earth within their framework. They will edge in and test you out next time and the next. Some will. So I took a few pictures. This is not so much of a space, but quite a walk. I made it back to the car. The second place I went, I know well. I was busy walking, lugging my case and tripod and camera in plastic. I had just finished a picture and wrapped up camera and tripod when I heard a deer crashing away at the corner. He was freeked! I was soundless taking the picture and soundless getting my gear ready to walk – I just turned and looked up to walk away and this started in the underbrush. He was probably down at the lake line getting a drink. It got worse! I have never heard so much crashing running away for so long from a deer. He must have scrapped his legs. The only thing I can think is that he is telling me he is going to bash my brains in or he ran into the new electric fence. There is a brand new animal pen there and the solar fence runs back into the woods. He probably ran into it. It’s a newer park. Feel sorry for the deer. They have drinking spots all around the small lake. Never mind, there are deer all around the whole area! People jog there and walk their dogs, ride horses. But deer can get used to anything except fear for their lives, and I can’t do that. I have my tripod and I look for trees and I have my cell. Most the time in the past they run away, but now they are not doing that as much. I hear blows all the time. On the outer edge, most people are making more money than me and can afford to buy a higher end camera etc… I’m up there in years and I want to take pictures. I have written in here that I go for everyone being equal and show pictures equal. This could be one of the options. But not all want to read. One of my greatest loves is also one of the most dangerous for me. If my parents were alive again and knew what I was doing they would either volunteer to go with me or kick me out of the house, or say ‘You are of age, you know what you are doing and how dangerous it is.’ I’m mad I don’t have people to go with me or that I can’t carry a gun to scare the deer. I can’t afford to travel the world to the best spots and wait for the just right time to get a good picture. And I’m mad that some people can, and I have only certain spots to take pictures here and they are being eroded and not all of this is random. So I turn to Macro and now that is being eroded. There is such a big deal of hunters and hunting in the fall and our deer herd is growing! If I was a pioneer and had a gun, I could provide for a whole neighborhood just in the summer when I was looking for pictures! So I continued my rounds, and found friends. ( Heard some gentle hoofing in the background that went away.) More friendly than humans (as yet) are the birds, rabbits and flyers. I hate it when winter comes. I walked too far and had to go around the whole park instead of backtracking. I almost didn’t make it back to the car. Looked at the clock and I still had enough time to do church lunch. It’s volunteer. I’m dead on my feet. I still have to get tomorrow’s groceries for work. I work tomorrow. Our summers go by TOO FAST!!!!! I have more stories from shooting but if I told them the place would probably burn down. I’d like to tell them and make this more interesting, but I can’t now.
Hope everyone had a great Christmas. Mine was fun and warm and a good dinner. Then the next day I got the flu and did nothing but sleep and be sick for, I guess it was 3-4 days. A lot of people are getting this. I’m lucky I dodged it for so long. Only gaged once. It could have been worse. Today when I woke up my back was more in frame. I needed meat so I had to go out to the hamburger stand and shopping and it is so cold out now. I can hardly walk. Hopefully I will get better than this. Cartoons seemed the only appropriate and eye catching thing to put in here now.
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my latest advancement in drawing. It doesn’t look like it maybe. I relaxed the line. Maybe this helps and maybe it’s too relaxed. This is the direction I think for painting, if I wanted to do that. But if the subject is too relaxed, If I can’t find a way to put relax and a bit of tight together that looks natural I’m sunk. I think. This seems like nothing, but it is everything. I’m glad I thought this out before I started. I still have more realistic style pictures I can do . This will probably tell the tale though, maybe. I’ve got to work this out. I was going to wait and put this in later but I want to get all this done since I can’t do it from home. And want to be there.
My back has healed. Don’t think about it! Whew! Latest activities are sleep and shovel snow, and sleep again. This, with eating fixed the back. Only a couple of drawings. Yesterday I did a landscape and could not figure how to finish it off. I’ll have to sit it back. Actually I’m getting tired of teddy bears and snowmen, simple things I’ve set up to extend and practice on, but they work. After the landscape I did a teddy bear in environment drawing relaxed. Took 15 minutes! I pasted in the mask I did for the background and that was fast! Also the background paste was of copy paper and was a micron whiter and bluer (under the shading). This was interesting because it worked, sitting under the shading. I’ve got this slick paper and I’m going to try a teddy portrait on it. Still to know how it would accept watercolor. My new (cheap) cell phone works well for drawing subjects! I missed a grand photo op of white tree branches a few mornings ago because I didn’t know it was going to happen and I still had a sore back and was tired. So charged up for art. I’ve also come to the conclusion that unbelievable filters could also produce works of art fast on good photographs. This could be a mainline. I have filters and some might work well, but the filters I am dreaming about would have far more controls and horizons. Maybe they could exist. Maybe I’m not seeing the filters I have good enough. My screen? I always have the problem of distortion blurring. Could that be corrected? But the filters I have are still out of sight, I need distortion refinement. All these things go out the window when your drawing, you can distort yourself and your lines are crisp enough.
This background better, too many lines. I did get my new photos into folders and backed up. I have to sweep up my misc. photos into their site and then maybe I can fit in cataloging with drawing. I got more than I thought, so far. Soon I will have to relax this.
ROOT DREAMS
I thought it might be interesting to write about a certain type of dream I had this morning. Once in a great while I have dreams like this and wake up panicking that I have done something wrong and great relief that it was just a dream! Usually I am dreaming I didn’t take a test, or someone or something (often extraterrestrial) is chasing me, or I am on someone’s land or inside a structure I shouldn’t be.
The thing is I wake up (and other people too) thinking that deep down they are a criminal. Well I was thinking this morning. Maybe you are a criminal! But not in the way you think you are. In another form! Maybe these dreams go far back beyond your human ancestors to a mainline ancestor…like the evolutionary type of rodent we all came from…or even back beyond that! Everyone knows how animals act. They have the greatest love for their offspring, but will instantly unleash all hell and evil when they are threatened or hungry. Remorse or God does not exist, just a means to an end to live. And I believe this is right as rain for them (not people now) but animals.
We humans needed to follow another course having more extended deviations from this and other things (some rules & regulations) to ensure life, or we might have ended up dead long ago. This is my belief.
But I believe some of this root animal wiring is still in us. Your hair stands on end, adrenalin courses through your body, you know something without experiencing it before, or your senses tell you something does not match up.
When we are young we need to learn about things, experience some things first hand. But as we become adult we can find our interests and we know about much of the rest of the world. When I was 16 my parents drove to N.C. on vacation to see relatives. We sometimes went through the Smoky Mountains. I was entranced to see mountains! I became entranced to stand inside this carpet of trees I saw everywhere. I wanted to see what it looked like when I was in it! I found a way that didn’t get me in trouble for running off. I followed a piss trail that lead off every stop off view overlook that was on the highway. I followed one to the end and suddenly I was standing inside this carpet of trees and could know just what it looked like everywhere!
By the time you are a grownup you know a lot about everything. From television or wherever you know things and it’s not an adventure to know about that anymore. You sometimes find adventures or outlets you can get into through the human structure and can go with that. You are safe and deal with the rest and know it. Your horizons shift from an animals, but it is still a natural horizon for a human. And you live your life like this happy and fulfilled for the most part.
But it is my belief that after going years like this, some parts of that rodent wiring that lies at the root of your brain or spinal cord does not get used. And it needs to get used every once and awhile to keep it healthy and functional to all of your being now. So you have dreams! Something is chasing you or you are exploring somewhere that in real life you shouldn’t be. This is really healthy for a rodent. It’s normal. They go out every night and it must be a real seamless adventure to move through the night unless they are being hunted or especially hungry. They must get their share of this weightless pure safe adventure all the time and it is normal wiring for their body. I bet a lot of things are so refreshing, moving through the night, unafraid and experiencing each new thing, free.
We still need a bit of this. But we are not aware of it.
So we have dreams that we are being chased or fight or explore…like a animal or rodent. And this dreaming completely freeform is renewing our whole wiring, (the part that is being missing), without doing it while we are awake. And it is good! It renews us! The missed small part is there again and we are whole. And it makes us better in the end! And less likely a criminal!!
I’m not going into real human criminals now. Only to say that it is my belief that the human race gene pool probably needs opposites as much as it does the bigger middle ground. Good/evil, healthy/not healthy/, smart/dumb, happy/sad…to even keep going. So law breaking will probably be something ongoing, not something to eradicate completely in the end. (I don’t mean that jail should be done away with, we have to keep safe!) That is my belief. So I was happy this morning to come up with this idea. It seems to fit! We renew ourselves with our dreams. And I have more evidence of this with another dream I had long ago…
I was having one of these dreams that you don’t remember when you wake up. ( I think I have already wrote about this in here.) You never remember these dreams. It’s always like that. At least it is like that with me. But this particular one I remembered when I woke up. (It’s never happened before or since.) I was dreaming a string of things that made no fundamental sense at all in any dimension. The elements were elements in waking life but the relationship between them, in time, made no sense at all. And I was dreaming this slowly over and over, like a loop, over and over and over. And each time I dreamed it my brain felt refreshed and renewed! Each and every time. Refreshed and renewed! And I woke up and remembered the whole thing! WOW!
So dreams can warn you, interest you, release you, and take care of you like a parent. They probably take care of us more than we know. So when you wake up feeling so relieved it was just a dream, you don’t have to worry that deep down you are a criminal. You are not! But the rodent stock you evolved from had to be a criminal (along with everything else) to live. As we humans had to evolve and change from some of these criminal practices to live. And dreams keep us on track! Wonderful thought!
FENDERBERGS Caution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They can rip your fender or hurt your suspension!! Esp when full as can get and HARD! Turning can crunch your wheels. Don’t kick off hard ones. Only think I could find quick on web is WD 40 oil in well before the snowing.
One of the worst things taking pictures is when you miss good things. My heart is still broken over missing the one morning of hore frost we had and more lately we had a silvery sheer fog at sunrise. These things never happen! I just don’t know they are happening. The weather reports much, but this? The hore frost was a victim of my Flu. It weakened my back and I just didn’t have the ongoing energy to keep checking. I just wish I had someone to call me, wake me up, I don’t care. I could have forced myself up if I knew it was going to happen. Photo aps for this? Warning calls.
:) WOW WHEEW, THANK YOU
Gun control. Something about the pace and standards, which we need, but some feel left out and can’t keep up or want to redo, and some of those will start to tear down things. This will ignite. But the general public, I don’t know. Television is great, but you do see things you can’t afford while listening and learning. Maybe you can get these things. No further can I go. I haven’t traveled?
I finally got the door to refrig cleaned. Now just top & freezer. This brightened my outlook after so many weeks. Swept and Bathroom cleaned. I’m back into photo cataloging. I just have 119 folders to go, not counting edited. But I think I am doing a good job. Especially explaining my keywords and keywording strategies behind the scene. I keep a Cat backup index for any new notations that have been done by that backup. I can explain going back and inserting garden flowers keyword to separate these from all flower pictures by that backup. Of course there are some random additions I put in along the way when I see a unique mistake or neglection once in a while and I just can’t take the time to record that. Meaning if I had to use a later backup, I would not know or remember these and these mistakes would again be included in the catalog. But not many. My outside lists work great with the program and my plugin works great!! Always reports my keywords and captions. I backup and backup. Searching really helps when you want to change certain parts of the Cat! I haven’t done this much, but It’s a dream when finding and keywording higher ISO. I keep forgetting that. Yesterday I finally hit snags. Why was file numbering off in one folder and why was there no folder added when I reported it in my backup list. So I tried adding it and it was a go…so I had not added it yet. And my numbering problem was already reported in my Mistakes document. (maybe when I made up the folder to begin with). So I got myself back on track. Wheew. Try and report older photos accurately as to where? Sometimes creation times – down to the minute, help. I watch for breaks. Love the comment catergory, ha, it’s not called that. I put anything in it when needed. I’m hoping my computer will hold up for some time. I try and go slow with it. So my program is WONDERFUL. And I mean it. Love the time I put in it! This is awesome!
As usual, been very busy. I got back in photo indexing after so long of drawing. I got my newest folders done. (More than 100 are still waiting.) And am making up new folders from my cards now. I don’t know if I will be able to start on any older with taking new photos in future though. I want to get caught up. I’m trying to make a carry all for my photo equipment. It gets so heavy carrying. I’d like to fit in editing buy probably won’t have time. Wish I had more time, but none to fit in here right now. Relatives have been emailing me on how I weathered the winter, was I still here! I’m here!
Wrung out but revving up. I hate dirty yard work, but the exercise is okay. I got a new drawing pad, but so far nothing great. Someday I hope to have more to put in here. I saw the flower Snowdrops for the first time this spring. Vincent used to pick them for his sister or Mother when he was young. I thought they were only in Europe. They come up so early they sometimes grow up under the snow. Sorry this is so dry. I’m out in the physical ring all the time. No drawings.
FOOD HANDELING
Gourmet Food, why is it not clean? I know, politics, trying to get it together! Well I don’t want to lose this type of food, even though I mostly eat plain plain and like that. I don’t want to give up spice! Where are you eating? Today you better know! Can’t there be both foods? Plain & gourmet. We surly want our medical standards maintained! We will depend on others to take care of us when we are older, with our standards. We, or the baby boom generation has worked for older generations. Maintaining food is one of them. With mixed dishes you should know your single ingredients are clean to begin with. TV is half the blame. They are still showing mixing and food handling with bare hands. My opinion, do this at home if you want to, but not for the general public. Of course politics comes into play, at least in a few I know. I hate that. Yeah it’s always been done with bare hands. In my opinion life and evolution is silently throwing you a curve ball. Older generations could handle food with bare hands and not transmit as many germs…We, no matter how much we wash our hands, [ and I am taking it for granted people wash their hands really good before they handle food for the public and after they use the restroom] will transmit many many germs. That can surly be true as a component of further evolution. It can be true. It doesn’t mean that future generations will continue this trend. But now WATCH OUT! We have germs on our hands and our parents had less. In my opinion life can do anything it wants in the evolution of a species or organism. My theory is the only thing life would want to do is keep the life organism going and regenerating healthy and stable throughout time. So if our hands/body at this time does not hold germs in as well, well that is a blow out for stronger regeneration for future of that organism. It doesn’t mean your hands are going to fall off. It means that a side is loosening for another part of the body to grow stronger in the next generation. It’s all a balance. Life keeps this balance going to equalize things and regenerate the next generation strong. It can’t keep making carbon copies thought time. Well TV shows mixing with bare hands. You should be using disposable gloves…that don’t lend plastic into the food. Change them when you start with different food, or wash them like you would your hands while they are still on your hands. And dry! Mix with bare hands, more germs in the mixed food. (Mixed food probably carries more bacteria than a single item.) Put leftovers in the Refrig and the germs grow! (Even if this food , that I again take for granted is covered with fresh clean plastic or the bowl’s cover, that has be washed beforehand.) Dishes and utensils that are used for food must be washed in a very sanitary way before being used. Never put a utensil you have already put in your mouth into the clean food of a serving container…instant germs for leftovers! Do not breathe on food as you are preparing it! Wash used dishes and utensils in a very clean and sanitary method, DON’T MAKE A PASS. Keep your refrigerator clean! Don’t let stuff set in there! When you clean the refrig, throw out old bottles etc…of unused things. Buy new. Use your freezer more. Germs grow slower still in the frozen state. Date your freezer things because different things have different times they can be frozen and stay good. Cook to temperatures to kill bacteria etc in meat etc. Go online and get a manual cooking times. Don’t buy dented can goods or sometimes off brands. Watch your expiration dates! Keep yourself clean. Keep kitchen counter tops sanitized! Keep the kitchen clean. Keep the kitchen floor clean – don’t dust it Scrub it! . Clean up your kitchen spills with a disinfectant. Keep pets out and off! What is inside your cupboards? Are they clean? Insects? Out! Disposable wipes and paper towels are always better than using a rag over and over. Keep trash emptied. Enjoy that food but you have to be strict handling food. It all can spoil fast. Sorry for my haunty attitude but unclean food makes me mad.
HOUSE CLEANING
That’s what I’ve been doing! Unless your rich, have others in the family, or really strong, you might want to use judgment. Even me – I’ve done cleaning right along every year or 2 years. So everything is not that dirty. But I have to use judgment. I can’t spend my whole summer on the inside and outside of the house. I want to look around, draw, take pictures, etc… So I must cut off some of the work. I just don’t go in the bedrooms which I can’t move stuff out of the do wall cleaning on MATT PAInting (WHICH I HATE – YOU CAN’T WASH IT). I don’t have the money to change the floors to be able to wash wood flooring. I get after bathroom and kitchen first…this year windows, blinds, curtains, then hope for the hallway and living room. But like I said – I hope to get the bathroom next. I don’t know about the living room, most is done, not walls. The roof, eves, garage, car, outside paint chipping must be done outside. Tree root exploration – it never stops. That is why I have to dish out the inside stuff when I have time. Already spring is popping with photo ops! And I’ve got to index photos. What I really need to do first is find out more basic things – can’t go into it. Oh hey, here is a tip. If you have a steamer, I know they say do not use the wall paper attachment unless you want to remove wall paper. Well don’t use any attachment on wall paper! I love the kitchen wall paper and don’t want to lose it.
Don’t have to be cold anymore. Cleaning some inside walls in the house and trying to keep up with outside work. My chimney is leaking again. I got some indexing done and drawing. The car needed two tires changed and that caused more problems. Placed flowers on my Mom & Dad and Grandparents graves. That involved some driving but got to see my cousins and Adrian. Sometimes I wish we wouldn’t have left. After two days on the road television gave me back what I had missed. I wonder if I need to learn to live country in the East or West Coast. I don’t know. Miss a high tension that I don’t get here, but who knows how much you want of anything. The cemeteries were beautiful and I got photos right along with everything else…not just in graveyard. All our parents are dead now and this town is filled with memories. Except I don’t like my Grandfather’s house. Mike is going to send me many more family photos. While I was gone I guess Alberto remnant came thru and there were a lot of branches down in the yard. I have seen, so far, no sign of the backyard bumble bees that were so busy last summer. Maybe they all died. (I was wondering how I was going to get to the hose this summer.) I still have bush trimming and tying to do. There are helicopter seeds and that marks the end of roof crap when I can start on the eves. Don’t have my carrier done for camera and I fear that my old sewing machine will not work for it’s cover. It was really great to get out away from Sturgis. I left at night when there was no sun, heat, or traffic. I have no back route for this destination and don’t want to press speed on my little car.
COMPARE HISTORIC DRAWINGS OR PAINTINGS.
Compare older examples against modern. Perhaps try portraits, landscapes etc. To me (in my opinion) the more modern the less receding in handling they appear. The older, the more relaxed in execution. To me this again affirms the idea of evolution happening generation to generation throughout time. (Not very much, but enough for parents today wonder why their kids and all their kids friends are not exactly carbon copies of themselves. (The same as the baby boomers and their parents felt years ago. ) So, as this has always [so far] been going on throughout time, older past generations are not exactly exactly the same container as everyone today… but this slight difference gets more the farther apart the generations are in time. This is my theory.
So if all the people on earth back in 1891 are a bit different than us, the execution of artists, of that generation, will be different too, and so goes for any point in time, back in history, while we were producing art…cave paintings, frescos, oil paintings and drawings. I’m not talking about the kind or style of art, I’m talking about calmness or point of reference inside the person while he was producing art. You can see this. I have always seen this like a slide ruler every time I checked. Art coming thru the person’s framework, which is internally there, inside of any way he is expressing it. The difference just grows a bit more the farther you go back in history from today. The artwork adds up the same in the end as most everyones (unless it’s abstraction), it’s through the execution that varies to get it to adding up in the same way. [And I am also aware that older work contained more symbolism and mine does not. Which is different with mine.]
So a slightly different container (the artist of a specific generation in time) will execute a picture through his expression, but that expression must shine through that artist’s own body, which is built within that generation’s point of time which evolution forms at birth. Hope you can see what I am talking about. It is just my idea of this. No one has to agree! Older works always seem more relaxed and reticent in execution and more recent works look more bold, tense, and have more velocity.
I, as many artists, have been encouraged to study the old master’s to help find my way in art. I have never been aware I was learning art or composition but I’m sure I was as I grew up. So the master’s have much to give you. More than not. But at times I have gotten hung up on why, as I tried and tried, and been at it a while, I couldn’t get mine to come off like theirs with my modern hand. I was frustrated not pulling pictures off like them! I can’t get it all in! Then you fall into the hole out there, ‘You have not practiced enough!’ Well that may not be the reason. This evolutionary thing may be the cause! You’re a horse trying to run in history’s horse race, but your not a horse, you’re a jet!
But think of it, don’t get jealous. (It’s hard not to when you see some older art!) This is all they had. Photography was really not around yet, and if it was, it was not used or valued as an art form that much. Painting was king. Most artist’s wanted to emotionally work through paint. We today have grown up with art and photography and can edit photos, or filter and edit into art. We can again combine that with our own hand art. We have abstraction. We can deal with far more compositions than they could even dream of with these things. We don’t have to work on just one picture or idea.
On the other hand, to contradict all I have just said, I have seen much art from some artists today that was relaxed and fits better with history. I guess they have gotten on to this or different people are interested in art also. Wonderful. I still have a problem with this calmness. My body can’t change? My ideas on this have been…you have not practiced enough to an idea of, try drawing and drinking. See if that will relax. Or living with it. I can’t drink every time I want to draw. But you know, I really can’t really foresee what advances or kind of advances I will make in drawing if I practice more. I only house a vague point that at some point practice might not get me any further. I don’t know if this will be true or not. Continued practice and doing of pictures will reaffirm the truth of this matter. Truth will grow and grow until your brain can’t miss it and you can confirm truth. Don’t dismiss symbolically hitting your head again and again against a wall. What ever gets you there.
So I am glad I have this theory. If ever I see I can’t go any further in art, or I see something I can’t fix about my body is going to stop me from going any further, I will have this theory and my realistic drawings. And where I am trying now is varied in more directions than one. Knowing in my body, not my head. Or the ability of the brain to direct my hand to preform all these at once. I see now that I need more of my health problem changed back to get any further. How to do all these pictures I pick out to practice with? I want a hit on every one!!!! It’s not that way. So do not dismiss practice, blind contour drawing or contour or gesture practice. And sometimes you can only get so close to the ancient way of doing things. Celebrate what you do best in this time also.
(My latest drawing ideas yesterday)
Well it had to happen sometime even if I'm supersonic careful... CAMERA DISASTERS CAN HAPPEN ON THE NICEST DAYS!
It was a normal and usual picture taking day. I carried and held my equipment and tripod like egg shells. Got ready for each shot, going over everything important. A non descript flower on top of a high weed growing slope or hill. Set up my tripod right in front of the flower looking directly down the slope. Set my camera in tripod clip – solid. Got the tripod legs arranged (legs tight from last shot I thought). I framed the shot and tightened all upper arms. I took my hand off the tripod for a brief time to see if it was standing solid. It was. It didn’t move. I then shifted to working on focus, ap etc gear mode. CAMERA AND TRIPOD STARTED FALLING OVER DOWN THE RAVINE!!!! (I had bumped nothing.) I HAD A SPLIT SECOND TO GRAB THE CAMERA & TRIPOD………it’s been raining a ton in MI, the ground is not solid. I couldn’t see or know the deepness of the ravine. I’m glad my body overrides my head sometimes…I watched my camera and tripod fall over. If I were to grab my tripod I would have had to step forward down the slope and I could have slipped fallen way over and impaled myself on some unseen thing, not to say even the tripod and/or camera. I could have blinded myself or died! (I wear boots, not tennis shoes for snakes) So I watched my camera and tripod (which is med heavy) fall over. I knew it was over. I guess the Nikon Mount was separated from the lens and I guess the aperture stick was sticking out of the lens. I feared the camera was gone also. Occasionally my tripod will tip because one of the legs is not splayed out enough, but I catch that right away and occasionally one of my lower leg segments does not hold, even though it is tightened and this makes the tripod move and list. (I wonder if this is what happened? I didn’t check the tripod afterwards I was so blown away.) The camera store said the lens might be repaired but not sure, they might turn it down, and my CAMERA WAS OKAY!! This happened about two weeks ago and I was waiting to report here until I got another lens. I'm still getting used to the new macro and using my depth of field preview a lot. Ofcourse I still can't pick out pictures until I get home in the dark and some even slip by then for the computer screen. A primary two weeks of perfect flowers lost to the accident. But the new lens is probably better than the last. In some ways it is, and some ways the older way of not showing all, I don't know. So just thought I'd write in. I'm okay and was out this morning before rain finding some pictures. But ofcourse the darker and slight wind, the higher the ISO and the grainy the pics, even if you have high ISO dialed in.
DRAWING NOW
JUST LATELY DRAWING IS GOING GOOD. I DRAW FASTER AND EMOTIONAL, NOT WORRIED AND I GET BETTER WARPING FOR FILLING IN SHADING AND THE LAST ONE I DID I FILLED IN WATERCOLOR IN THE SPACES I WANTED DARK ( I THEN COVER THE PAINTED PASSAGES WITH GRAPHITE. THE GRAPHITE PART GOES WAY FASTER THIS WAY.) (I ALWAYS TINT THE BLACK WATERCOLOR WITH BLUE). I GOT TOO MUCH BLUE IN THE FILL IN THIS TIME AND THE BLUE BLACK LIGHT MEDIUM PATCH LOOKED OKAY WITH THE COLOR IN IT! I GUESS THIS IS THE DOORWAY TO COLOR. IT SEEMS JUST LIKE A YEAR AGO I WAS WONDERING IF I WOULD EVER LEARN TO CARTOON AND DIDN’T THINK I WOULD GET MUCH FARTHER WITH IT. NOW MY “WARPED” DRAWINGS SEEM TO BE GOING ALONG. I DON’T KNOW WHERE AND WHAT TO MESS – THAT IS NOT TOGETHER. I CAN’T SAY ENOUGH ABOUT PRACTICING. IT GETS YOU FARTHER AND FARTHER. I AM IN A FIGURE DRAWING CLASS NOW (DID I SAY BEFORE?) I AM DOING MOSTLY BLIND CONTOUR WITH THE NUDE FIGURE. I HAVE BEEN OUT TIME AFTER TIME IN PARKING LOTS DOING BLIND CONTOUR OF ANYTHING I COULD SEE…MOSTLY CARS. IT ALL ADDS UP TO ANGLES AND SHORT CURVES. I’VE DONE AND DONE THIS. GOING WELL BUT I NOTICED A NEED FOR BIGGER LONGER CURVED LINES. SO I AM GETTING THIS AND IT IS HELPING. I STILL WATCH THE PAPER I AM USING AND ONLY TRY AND DO MORE INVOLVED STUFF WHEN I GET HOME. SO GOOD TO FINELY BE WITH FELLOW ARTISTS. I ALSO FIND THE EVER PRESENT CELL PHONE CAMERA A QUICK STUDY FOR PRACTICE. I DID SOME WORK IN A COFFEE SHOP AND IT WAS BETTER AFTER TAKING THE CLASS. AND ALSO YOU CAN DO PREVIOUS PICTURES ON THE CELL PHONE, NOT ONES YOU JUST TOOK. HERE ARE SOME MORE (BETTER) MACRO SHOTS I HAVE JUST TAKEN ON MY NEW MACRO LENS…REMEMBER THE LAST ONE BROKE IN AN ACCIDENT. I WILL HAVE THE PICTURES WHEN I HAVE MINUTE
I saw a fox for the first time I think and had a camera!!!!
Chorus Frog with X on back!
Soldier Beetle on Milkweed I'd like a job in this, I can't do much else. But I know many people would. I'm all for people who want and have done something to have the equipment and time for this. I'm not hogging this but I do love finding photos. My back is the killer. I wish I had someone else to advise at times and a carry all and better editing. I can only go so far, I know nothing more. Sometimes I feel there is better out there. Some pictures of normal stuff look so much more refined. This I would want for anyone else. The same goes for artwork etc. Anywhere. That's why I throw in my drawing experience and tips. Maybe someone somewhere is starting out in graphite and would benefit from another source.
Most of my insect pics are in enviornment. I'd like to start to take a few in a studio setup. Because I want some studio shots to go with my outside stuff. I think the studio shots really frame and isolate an insect picture the best. The problem is, unless the insect has been raised in an artificial enviornment, they tend to look anything but (catching a normal pose) (and that is also almost hard in the field with a 105mm! I mean what else am I doing!!!!!!!!!!! These shots are with my new lens. I've grown to love it... better, for the money it cost. I do love it. I missed that tragedy (broken old macro lens in tripod ledge accident).
ARTISTS ARE A BREED APART
Had a real hard time mowing yard last night among other things. Handle it nicely. Knowledge is power and can also be very very helpful along the way. It is essential and picking this up along your life is always business as usual. Give yourself a pat on the back your doing it. Some day you might use a bit of it and go flying through blocks that stop many others, or lead to lifelong heartache. You won’t have it. Like the time I didn’t ride my bike down the steep hill and was called a sissy…I didn’t break my back. The time I didn’t join in on campus mud sliding night. The time I very marginally did what others embrace and didn’t burst a kidney the next day in Emergency. If you’re an artist, be careful. Especially when your young and don’t know stuff. Your teeth, health, intake, output can be all different. Do you get pregnant? Do you father a family to be responsible for? Most everything you hear, see, is set up to do, or what people say to you, is mainline. Set up for average of everyone on earth. This may really not work for you, or hurt you. Or help you more in some cases. But a lot of artists are different. Some are not, but some are very thin skinned. You are just as much a part of mankind as everyone, but as for your frame, you are a breed apart. That’s my belief.
THROUGH THE SUMMER
I got eves almost. I wish I could blow off yard work. I wish I could blow off shopping. I hate balancing checkbook and I hate having to go out to pay my bills. I wish I could buy 4 months worth of food and dump it in a freezer, pre pay my bills for the year and have someone else mow the yard etc etc. I’ve been getting some shots. Lighting not great, but sometimes better. The deer are around in two places, but not in the other. I’m new to them now, unless they talk. But pickings seem to be narrower. Summers waning a bit. I wish I could move south or I don’t know. I hate winter. But there is time to work on stuff, if it’s warm enough. Your always closed in. Without a good laptop I can’t work outside in the summer. I could bring my desktop out there but really don’t like the idea. Maybe it would be okay, but with all the breeze, microbes, blowing junk. So I’m always inside and winter inside comes too fast. My photo sessions when I get out is a wonder time, but I have to watch my back for deer. And now hunting season is getting closer and this means one of my places is gone. Most people don’t bother with winter. It bugs me more and more and I hope I don’t get mad and cry and become depressed. Not enough challenge sometimes. Editing is something to do. I got new filters and some are pretty cool. My contracted job company changed and I still have a job. Thank God. There is another thing. I just found out there are figure drawing meet ups all over the world! I wish I could make friends with a few others about drawing. And these things are always there weekly!!!!!!!!!!! So I hope I can retake my figure drawing course that I just took. It’s not a class, it’s more like open drawing. I need more of it. But you can pick up tips other places. Maybe something online, if there are such places. And oh, as to photography. I mostly suffer a bit from not being able to see the picture I just took on a laptop screen in dark light. I run into this stuff (even though I bracket some on flowers etc. I run into shots that I couldn’t see that 1 stop smaller ap would get me just a bit more depth that would fit. I just changed my apertures into half steps…How frozen can I be! Anyway to get back to the tip. I was out looking for stuff and found some small sweat bees on grass seed. It looked good and different. I looked at my results in camera monitor and it looked good. It was different. After taking some I thought ‘I got my smattering, so move on.’ When I got home these pics were kind of good. Better than I thought! I wish I had taken more! That was the bees time…just then. We had rain and the next time I went out, day after, there were no more seeds. All it was, was a sea of mating solidier bugs. I just can’t manage carrying one more thing like a laptop. The day after I got caught in rain and had to bend over my camera in it’s bag to shield from the rain. All was okay. I left my raincoat in the car. Too hot and I have to carry. I’m trying to take a boxed stuffed new garbage tote on rollers to carry my stuff. Rolling it is better than carrying. I can put my tripod and camera case in that. Cover and have dust and rain protection. (It’s not white camo yet for lesser sun heat up. This idea kind of splits between ( better traversing to less better when steps between shots are only needed). I’ll end up having to carry the tripod anyway because putting it back and forth, in and out, of the tote is more work than carrying it. And there are these quick shots. Having the camera out can get it on tripod faster. I now have a macro lens with VB. Although VB seems to fall just short of my weak hand holding abilities sometimes. I still favor, for quick situations, bracing the camera on top or next to a leg and taking with a fast shutter. But the tote would probably get me all the way back without having to carry camera and tripod. That will save energy. I also have rigged a shoulder strap and release hook for my white sun umbrella. For shading photo items. It’s light and I just sling it over my shoulder. Also the tote could hold mosiquito repellent and sun stick which would free up pockets. I need a phone – the last time I tried there was no service! And there is the old work stab. Go to work in the morning and watch the unusual huge red sun come up with clouds where you know there is a perfect photo op. and you can’t take photos! Go to work and miss hoar frost…knowing when it is. I want to put more up here but I don’t know whether to watermark or not. I have a couple of drawings. I went through this wanting to know the best scanner for artwork and an online article said, ‘Don’t scan, take studio lighting pictures of the artwork!’ Much better! So now I will have to test that. Although I don’t really have studio lighting.
This drawing was a photo instead of a scan as I talked about above. The photos are a micron bit more quality (better glass?) than the scanned. I don't want to give all my specifics. I have a 2008 mid range good scanner and good software. I tried sharpening in and out of the software with it. Sharpened was sharp but a bit too rough and flat. The photos were better a bit. I had to go through all this set up just right to get them and have camera controls right. A lot of work because I don't have copy stand stuff. And I don't have diffusers and I didn't want to unpack my whole closet for the photo bulbs I have so I did tungsten with with white balance. I have a good camera. Not medium or large format which might make a difference!!! But the thing is the auto focus on graphite. Maybe my lens is off - it might be I've been having other situations with it. So the other thing is I can't use live view zoom focus because I can't see the exact edge of marks. So I did both and they were close but I felt I could not perform manual focus right on. So with my equipment there is not a mid to wide difference between a 800 dpi scan and my camera on it's full (no compression) raw file, low ISO, small apreture, leveling of camera and copy.
I feel my drawings are a bit better. I might be losing a bit of squareness, but it is becuase I'm loosening with practice only. This is not anything my mind can change. They are (I think) not lose enought yet? Art just takes you. You hope to be able to do things like you used to in case you get into trouble with the loosening. That is my trail. But drawings in here do not look way as good as they do in physical. This drawing trys to look okay in physical, but in here the right side needs to be pushed in...or maybe it's the screen lack of quality. In here I might as well just do little digital cartoons and lines! I got so tired of filling in dark passages taking hours of time being careful and careful that I have tried watercolor wash under and graphite over that. It really cuts the time of the darks. The trouble is, if then there is any erasing needed, you can't erase watercolor. I know there is a medium you can apply beforehand to the paper, or use yupo (I don't like the texture), but I haven't tried yet. Some papers will erase it some with work, but there is always a shadow and gallery hanging is probably out of the question. Unless there is something else. I've learned to center and diminish my watercolor. Haven't tried it over graphite yet!? Fixing a drawing gone digital is GREAT! SO EASY!
PRACTICE NUDE FIGURES FROM MY CLASS. Please, some of you, this is not X-rated stuff, not ment to be. Nude Figure studies have been used for practice and finished works throughout history. This subject matter is a valiad artwork in itself and is not ment to imply sex. I am not saying that with certain artists and others that this form does not slide into that side of things. And if that is right or wrong. Mine do not. But 15 years ago if you were able to look up "nude figure drawings" you probably would see many more nude studies of women, past and present! Just look up Modern Figure Drawing now. There are a few nudes for you to see. I'm afraid that by running these that I will get a message to remove the photo. I'll have to remove it and you will just have the web to look at. So I will be back checking if it is still there! Ha. These are practice. I need blind contour from bigger subject matter onto a bigger format newsprint pad. Usually I just do blind contour over and over with each pose without looking very much. But if I look down and it looks good I just flip the page. Some of the poses are longer so I fill in if need. I have done blind contour in the car a lot but everything is so little. You'd be surprised at just how many figure drawing sessions there are all over the world. You just have to dig on the web for one around or in bigger city. I can't afford a top of the line art projector that can get the image clear enough and big enough. I have a book of nude poses already, maybe I can learn to work from small to big because I can't run up my car driving to these things every week. I wished I lived there because I would like to practice every week like this. Poses still not velocity enough. And lines there which probably should have been erased. I'm not totally out of the medical slump yet. And that's the learning curve. What happens when I get the velocity, or will I?
STINKBUG HEAVEN
It’s getting hard to live life as I am doing. I had furnace problems yesterday, had to cancel my drawing class that night. I dodged a bullet for the time being. I just can’t seem to keep up with the house and yard. I’m not giving it up, but in a way I wish I could. To go on the road for a time. My computer versions are starting to give me trouble because they are so out of date and I am into a few things and updating that is not going to be easy. Sometimes eating is the only normal thing I do. I hope my life changes soon so I can do what I want to do and not have to do so much constant overwork to get this to come off. I’m starting to lose my grip and more job work is not going to help. I need advisement. Things could be worse and sometimes they are great, but if I do what is normal, I pay sorely with overwork. But when I’m up on the roof taking off the chimney cover and see all these stink bugs grouped under the folds I feel how lucky I am that I don’t have to end my life in cold, grasping for a bit of warmth that is left. :)
11/30/18 Listening to the Librarians talking makes me feel better. Haven’t been around much. I hate this time of year. It’s worse this year. Everyone is out to get you around the holidays. It’s really bad this year. At the church lunch one who helps also is leaving for the far reaches. I wish I was with them. I’d love to get away from all this. If it gets any worse I’d like to leave to somewhere this doesn’t occur. The fall hell came to a crashing halt with me almost falling downstairs trying to drag the power sprayer and hose and caddy downstairs. The chimney still leaks, I can’t apply the stuff until spring. Have to cover it. There will not be the right cover in the store so I will have to take time out to order it. You have to take time out for EVERYTHING! I look at something and it’s gone! I fixed my car and the noise is still there, but I did get something else fixed! Just yesterday two more things are threatening to go out. I can’t take much more of this. An aging service failed to give me any help with the leaves this fall. I just needed one time of relief while I did most of the leaves. My ladder is stuck. I can’t go out in the car for fear of a wreck. In spite of this, this week for a few days, I managed to have time to myself to relax and be myself and do naturally what I should be doing for a job. I could think! Don’t have to be constantly on guard someone is going to hit me or run me down etc… This is everywhere except at my job. I had no stress and was very happy alone and warm. Dig the commercials – too strident, a loop windup jewelry box! All these Christmas movies! Do you think one could be decent! I saw one commercial where some guy was in an horrible Xmas business suit, all decked out, poking fun at all this mindless accentuation and cheapness. That cracked me up. If I see one more Walmart blowup toy I will vomit. I got some art learning done and photo indexing too, on the good side. Lately, after a long stretch of not adding too many new keywords I ran into a couple that I must go through every picture I have indexed so far and I can’t use keywords to roundup just certain pictures I need to check. If I ever get to my edited it will be a miracle. I hope I can get through these next months. Happy pre Christmas because it’s starting. New Years is my favorite! The last of it. Tee Ha 😊
MERRY CHRISTMAS
QUIET AND SCARRY HOLIDAY, BUT WONDERFUL!
Two days after Christmas I got in real trouble with the house and I’m still in trouble. I don’t mean legal or anything. I might have to move. That’s is why nothing much in here.
LOVE SNOW STORMS! Cell phone can't get the pictures big. I had so much fun taking these because I was out in this silver cold blizzard. It's like surfing!!!!
:,( Trying to rake leaves, I’ve got too much, damp, dark end of day, I’m mad and got one more pile to drag. Something causes me to look down the street. Here was a cat laid out on the road, fresh kill, I didn’t know. Very fresh. So I dropped the rake and ran to the road before the next car. The cat had not been run over yet and just had a small amount of blood around the head or mouth. I touched him and nothing. I’ve head of horror stories of trying to help wounded animals off the road and had gotten nailed. He didn’t move. I thought he was dead, so I gently pulled him off the road to the grass. And I had to pull because he was a hefty cat. Sadly he was still warm and not breathing. Wish I had vet training. And that’s who I would owe if he had been alive and I had taken him out. I felt for heart and could not feel anything. Poor thing. Nothing I could do. I went back later and his back end and legs were getting cold. Our first cat ran straight into a hubcap of a passing truck and broke it’s back. Dragged itself off the road with two front paws. She had to be put to sleep. I think this is what happened to this one.
Banked yellow leaves curved a torn yellow tree Blond Lab, red semi, summers gone, Cold icy rain, Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
HOW I GOT GOING IN DRAWING
If your like me (and no one probably starts out as light and frozen solid as I did) be happy that you are not – you probably can get started much quicker! From the beginning you want to do pictures so you have work to keep and show – something that you have done! Do pictures you can keep. You can stop right there and just do pictures, not feel you need to progress. You probably don’t need or want to develop further. Some people are already set to go! But if you feel you might want to flow more naturally while you are drawing, I turned to many historic painter’s advice, ‘Don’t draw and paint so much what you see as what you feel as an emotion from your heart.’ I didn’t know how this would go with me. These painters I was getting this from were as old as a great grandfather or a great great grandfather! So much time has passed, and in my mind, my generation plus the newer are not exactly the same container. This was the place to start from, I felt, though. It was an adventure, I knew I might hit a wall and not be able to go further, but that was all right, I had my just by eye work already! But I really wanted to know where this sat with me. I wished it could flow more, but I didn’t know if it could. So I started out working and PRACTICING with “Gesture” and “Blind Contour Drawing.” You can find these term definitions in many books and on the internet. Gesture is trying to draw the whole thing faster in one unbroken gesture. Blind Contour is looking at the object you are drawing and draw it while not looking at your paper (you sometimes are allowed one or two peeks to align major parts. There is also just Contour Drawing I think. To get things looser you can…
just draw the negative spaces around the subject and let the subject take care of itself
draw with a pencil tied to a stick
do not draw any lines – just dots-dash marks
blacken the whole paper (rubbed graphite or graphite powder or charcoal) and draw with the eraser
doodle
tape two pencils together and draw with them like it was one pencil
blindfold yourself - feel the subject and draw it while you feel along it without looking at the paper…do a self portrait in this way
try a blind contour with the opposite hand from your writing hand
draw with your foot
draw with a single line a panoramic view around the room (you can look and look away with this one – tapped big newsprint paper or what ever)
So if you set out on this practice course everything you produce is an option - what you started with and more relaxed drawings along the way. And practice doesn’t have to be anything you keep. But practice and working at drawings with what new things and feelings I had along the way, got me looser in time. I did so much in time the impulse wanted me up on the surfboard more. But I didn’t forget how to draw tight. My subject matter determines how and what surface I am going to do the drawing. So there were tighter drawings along the way, but sometimes I would pick certain subject matter that I wanted looser. And try it looser. And nine times out of ten it was never loose enough. I tried and tried to draw a subject like a portrait with all the background design in it (if that was the solid design of the subject). Or try and draw two subjects together and I never could. If I had not cut out part of the background or cut out one subject from a two subject drawing the drawing would be way too much busy. I tried and tried to do this over the years and never had any luck until recently. (I really got looser!) Practice is the key. I got a self portrait of me with all the background in it! It is more a cartoon, but it is a good cartoon, I think. It sits as is.
When you practice don’t worry about the outcome drawing. And practice is what you need to be doing. Practice one drawing over the other – one blind contour over the other. Better to worry about the cost of the materials you are using. These can be cheapest you can get. If you have money you can do all this on more costly stuff incase you get a rare outcome you want to keep. But you should not worry anything about the outcome of practicing. This is ALL about the doing. Use newsprint or a smaller pad of something, pencil, pen etc. Your body has to get used to the doing of making marks, and curves, angles while drawing without looking. Eye hand coordination. And not looking or not looking very little while producing the lines. You will start slow, but after practice you might want to go faster with some passages. Making lines and not looking. You will feel this shoring up in you as you go, I did. Your mind will get accustomed to follow the lines and the hand will follow along easier. Relax don’t worry. When you start out this won’t follow thru so much. Practice. Blow yourself out. Then drop it, forget it, get lost in anything else and eat and go to bed. Let your body take care of the rest. It’s like learning to type, ski, skateboard, play piano, you just need to practice, your body takes care of all of it. I can’t tell you if you should use Gesture or Blind Contour or both, I guess what feels right to you. I used to go out in the car and find a place to park and practice on blind contour. Parking lots, malls, coffee shop, library, commute, freezing the TV screen or video, lunch break, if legal, cell phone photo or laptop, old photos, magazines. The legal advice I got for photographing is if you are on public property you can take photos. If you are on private property you have to ask. If you are on public property you can photo private property, but I wouldn’t telephoto inside too much through windows of people’s homes. Also photos outside through restaurant’s windows of people eating. People eating anywhere is not too cool to photo, use discretion.
As you practice over the months or year(s) you will get more fluid…you can take an occasional looks at the paper, if this is not practice. But if the drawing tightens up too much, you will have to decrease that. This is all about you and what you want your outcome to be. (Like I said, some people will not need to do this ever from the get go. Practice could hurt them.) I suggest not forgetting how to do tighter drawing because some aspects or subject matter may require some reversing back into it for drawings to come.
You have to relax and not care as you progress. If you then want to make drawings with this new skill, you will probably have to take risks. Drawing through feeling is faster and your not looking as much. You should flow more. The drawing must express through your execution as much as the likeness. You will make mistakes. You can erase a mid to light line. If you make a big mistake of a heavy dark passage it’s harder to impossible to get it all erased. (I suggested before to use kneadable eraser to get up as much graphite as you can before you try to erase.) You might ruin a perfect drawing by one mistake in a flawless execution! You have to be ready for this, you don’t have to like it. You have to put drawings on the line. I hate it but sometimes you have to. (I also suggested paper tone patches you can drop on the drawing to see if what you are thinking of doing is right…but that breaks the flow too.) Digital scanning and editing can get it clean again. But you have to take risks to get more flow. Usually the more drawings you have done and saved, the easier it is to take risks Ha! Try not to think about the risks and just go. I wouldn’t drop practicing though unless you feel that it is getting you nowhere or too loose. If you can go back and tighten, further practice should not hurt anything. After a long while of doing this (months/years) you just want to again only do drawings, not practice, or I do. I still need to practice. Sometimes when you are really tired from work or whatever, you can still practice if you feel unsecure to pull off a drawing. I mostly work in the mid size range. I never do many tiny line drawings as yet.
Throughout I have taught and critiqued myself. I really would have benefited from other opinions. Especially concerning overall knowledge of materials or computers. I’ve had help on boards but never someone who could really see where I wanted to go and cut to the chase. Would have saved me countless hours of work. You can either critique yourself or have another, you trust, do it. I have had an illness too to deal with over the years that stopped my from progressing in art and drawing after I was in college. That is why I am now slowly getting on to this now.
For months and/or years you can march in step like this. Doing & practicing. Hopefully at sometime your drawing will be easier and you will know where you are going better. You may end up following a common way of working or mix a new media together or you may drop drawing for another media, decide to go into another field like medical research or want to do art only part time. But many, and now is just the time, will have to whittle down and fine tune just how they will work at the end of all their practice. I talk about this because this is more only to do with you yourself and can’t really be taught by anyone. Your advisor may know or you can draw on all your knowledge and devise better ways of doing things that flatter only you. Maybe you will want to switch to mix media, watercolor, be only a cartoonist, make your cartoons into fine art, turn to working only digitally. In my mind part time art can be as serious as full time. Do you want to work inside, outside, on the go? My back is weak so I never went in for a drafting table. I just can’t sit up to do drawing. So I use a chair or a couch. I like to travel, though I have not done much. I have a habit of getting into any kind of situation and combining things, so all my materials and totes are waterproof and dust proof, shock proof and hopefully can be packed up tight. Where I can, I list out and organize. A sampler of surfaces can quickly help you choose what to put a particular drawing on rather than unpacking all your pads etc. Where you store drawings is important…temp and RH and display and the paper archival standard. There are no bounds to innovation!
If you feel in the end that something is still not 100% start looking for something to rectify the situation. No one can tell you what to do, even the art masters of history, if they were alive. It’s all about you and what turns you on in the end. It’s all good. Don’t worry so much. You have knowledge behind you to choose from. Your work will be wonderful. It will be fun! Yours is unique in all the world. I believe every generation is a new container for life, thus art! Have fun, love art! In the end it will start loving you back and not causing so many problems. Ha!
And I am talking like I am really through with all this. I am not. I’m still doing and practicing. Thinking up new things that might help and giving them a try. I got my first portrait with all the back in, a major milestone. You probably will find out new things to try all your life. Drawing is wonderful! You will have a friend for life.
First Eagle I’ve seen! High in snow dappled sky early one frosty morning! Relaxed, moving probably to a warmer roost. I studied it. They fly fluffier than a hawk with bits of white. No other bird has so much white on the front and back end! I had to turn and drove under him again. I wonder what my dad would have said. I heard they were around, but hadn’t seen one.
APPLE CRISP Deep baking dish. Grease dish, core and slice apples into dish. (two people – 6 apples) 4 – 8 apples. Put sugar and flour and cinnamon on apples…Mix (The amount is up to you, because you will have much the same in the topping.) In another bowl mix 1/3 C flour, ½ C sugar, 1/4lb softened butter. Take fork, potato masher, or blender and blend til crumbly and sprinkle on top of first apple mixture. In traditional oven at 350° F til done…1/2 – 1 hour or till you smell it or center is soft. Eat warm alone or with milk!
This is another of my mother’s recipes. You might find a better combo to your liking on the internet. But it is a basic farm fall- winter recipe without spending too much money. I well know that there is a ton of things like this ready to buy in the stores. But this is here for you to keep in all it’s bare bones. And there is a bit of goody taste to this even being home made! CRANBERRY DIP 1 12oz. pack fresh cranberries 1 C white sugar 1 C apricot jam 1 C chopped pecans 1oz. pack cream cheese Preheat oven 350° F 175° C Combine cranberries & sugar in 2qt baking dish with a lid. Stirring well to coat all berries. Bake in preheated oven, covered 30 Min – until cranberries pop and release liquid. Remove from oven and stir in apricot jam and pecans. Refrigerate over night to blend flavors. To serve allow cream cheese to come to room temp. and pour dip over block of cheese in a serving dish. Serve with buttery round crackers or small pretzels.
More involved, but real cheesy!
CAKE AND FRUIT Here is another! Make a box white cake and mix in a can of peaches! Yummm! This is another you can buy all over the place in one form or another! I’ll have to explain. I got this in college a long while back! So far back, that there was very little pre-processed cakes and deserts to buy! Everyone had to make this from scratch! This is why women did not have jobs and stayed home and cooked, cleaned, took care of kids! Families were getting cakes and cookies, but not from the store! Buy my college time there were standard cake mixes and frosting to buy. Nevertheless it was a cool recipe to dump fruit into a cake! (You can use apricots, or any fruit you like!) Something to get ready quick for company or keep on hand. Smells great baking!
CREAM POTATOES
Par potatoes then boil them. Cut up boiled potatoes. Add generous amount of milk over potatoes - about halfway up potatoes. Sprinkle Tablespoon flour - heaping - (depending on amount of potatoes). Stir around. Turn burner on high til bubble. When start to thicken up turn burner right down to low - add salt & pepper. (if thickens up add more milk)
This is our recipe for Cream Potatoes. I am sure that there are many versions of this. Better probably. Maybe they call for a particular kind of potato or seasoning, follow those! I put recipes in here because I think some are great or some are somehow being left behind with younger people. This is a recipe that sounds bland if you read the ingredients. When it comes together it is a good kind of bland! Another way to fix potatoes. Not hard except for paring potatoes Do you always want bity highly seasoned stuff EVERY night! This will get you across that! It’s a great winter dish and not expensive. If you want, can add butter in it or on after.
HOT GERMAN POTATO SALAD BOIL 6 MED POTATOES IN JACKETS. PEEL AND SLICE THINLY. FRY 6 SLICES OF BACON. SLOWLY IN SKILLET THEN DRAIN ON PAPER. SAUTÉ 3/4C CHOPPED ONION IN BACON FAT UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN. THEN BLEND IN 2T FLOUR, 1-2T SUGAR, 1½ t SALT, ½ t CELERY SEED AND PEPPER… COOK OVER LOW HEAT STIRRING UNTIL SMOOTH AND BUBBLY. REMOVE FROM HEAT, STIR IN 3/4 C WATER AND 1/3 C VINEGAR. BRING TO A BOIL, STIRRING CONSTANTLY. BOIL ONE MINUTE, THEN STIR IN CAREFULLY THE POTATOES AND THE CRUMBLED BITS OF BACON. REMOVE FROM HEAT, COVER AND LET STAND UNTIL READY TO SERVE. This is my mother's recipe. You could probably find more interesting versions on the Web. This, though, has probably only the celery seed, you might not have. It's a great fall winter thing. Maybe missing something…intuitive cooks! You will know what!
SOUR CREAM COOKIES
COOKIES:
1C shortening 2 C brown sugar, packed 2 eggs 1 C heavy sour cream 2 t salt 1 t soda ½ t nutmeg 1 t cinnamon 4 C flour ½ C nuts (optional)
ICING:
½ C butter 1 C brown sugar, packed ¼ C canned milk 1 ¾ to 2 C powdered sugar
COOKIES: Sift flour, salt, soda, cinnamon and nutmeg all together. Cream shortening, add brown sugar and cream together. Add eggs, sour cream and put nuts in the mix or on top. Add flour. Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour. Drop by teaspoon on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 375° F for 10 minutes.
ICING: Melt ½ C butter, add 1 C brown sugar packed. Boil over low heat for 2 minutes stirring constantly. Stir in ¼ C canned milk. Stir until it comes to a boil. Cool to lukewarm. Gradually add 1 ¾ to 2 C powdered sugar. Beat until spreading consistency. If icing becomes stiff add a little hot water. This icing is good for cakes too.
THIS WAS OFF THE NET
FOLLOWING IS MY MOTHER'S…
SOUR CREAM COOKIES
1 EGG 350 DEGREES F 12 MIN 1 1/2 CUP BROWN SUGAR 1/2 CUP SHORTNING 1/2 CUP SOUR CREAM 1t SODA 2 CUPS FLOUR 1/2 t VANILLA 1/2 t SALT + NUTMEG MIX ALL... OR CREAM WET INGREDIANTS (meaning beat with mixer together). AND SIFT DRY INGREDIANTS (Meaning run through a hand sifter. You can opt out on this, but the dry ingrediants may not be 100% uniform throughout the batter after mixing all together if you don’t do it.)
MIX ALL TOGETHER. SPOON DROP ON COOKIE SHEET. BAKE.
HOW TO SOUR MILK OR BUTTERMILK Fresh milk or evaporated milk soured by adding vinegar. 1T vinegar to each cup of fresh milk or diluted evaporated milk.
GRANDMA’S MIDNIGHT COOKIES (OLD GERMAN XMAS TREE ORNAMENTS?)
1 C Molasses 1 C White Sugar 1 C Shortening 1 t Vanilla 1 Egg 1 T Ginger 1 t Cinnamon 1 t Baking Powder 1 t Soda 1 t Salt 4 – (4 ½?) C Sifted Flour
My additional seasonings not in original recipe (I never use them, but will jazz it up a bit.) ½ t Ground Cloves ½ t Nutmeg 1 T Ginger (meaning 2 T Ginger in all)
Cream wet ingredients, sift dry, combine above with a mix master in big mixing bowl. If you do this by hand with a large spoon like my Great Grandmother you will be laboring for hours trying to get this mixed! ½ C cold water optional for stopped beaters! Cover with foil and plate. Refrigerate overnight. [ 4 cups flour in the recipe. I’ve never gone over 4 cups. This is critical. Too little flour and the dough will stick when rolled out. Too much flour and the cookies will not be soft when baked. I would not be surprised if these are an old Christmas tree ornament cookie because they go hard easy.] When you roll the dough out the next day [You will need an old style pastry cloth, rolling pin, and it’s cloth cover. Or up to date plastic pastry roll out , which takes the place of a pastry cloth, and a plastic rolling pin. I don’t think these stick as much. If you use the older pastry cloth and cloth cover for the rolling pin, you will have to sprinkle a marginal amount of flour on the pastry cloth and skirted rolling pin to get the surfaces lightly floured or the dough will stick when rolled out. And as you go you must clean oiled flour from the cloth and rolling pin cover and re-flour them. To clean, scrape with spatula. Also must cut edge of cookie cutter in flour before cutting out cookie in dough. The spatula might have to be dunked in flour (tap to remove excess flour) every now and then to transfer cut cookies to baking sheet, maybe, I can’t remember. Roll out dough to ¼ - ½ inch. (If not rolled out thick enough or baked too long, or if too much flour is in recipe the cookies will not be soft after baking.) Grease & flour the cookie sheet. (Grease it then sprinkle enough flour on to skim around the sheet by tilting the sheet back and forth. When all the sheet bottom has been thinly coated with flour in this way, drop out the excess flour from the sheet. Bake 350° F 12 minutes. I love these cookies and double or triple the recipe [then freeze] because this is hard to make and they are SO GOOD! For Christmas you can cut out Gingerbread men. We decorate the round cookies with little red cinnamon candies at Xmas. You can still buy these in the baking isle of grocery store. They look like little red dots. My Grandmother always made these at midnight and not just at Christmas. These were probably handed down from her mother, and they came from Germany (Or Prussia as it was known)! Some cookies may have been white also. (Sugar Cookies I presume.) I still have a representative set of the cookie cutters. As I said, I love the cookies, but some may think they are plain tasting ENJOY!
PORK CHOPS - BEER - SAUERKRAUT
1Qt. Sauerkraut (Vlasic) Drain & Wash...Put in Baking Dish. Pork Chops or Ribs in Pan with 1 Can of Stroh's Beer, Caraway Seed, & Big Slices of Onion. Bake Uncovered 300-325 degrees (till done... - 4hrs?
BEEF BRISKET IN BEER
3 to 4 lbs. beef brisket (meat market store? This is traditionally where we got this meat)/ 1 onion, sliced / 1/4 cup chili sauce / 2T brown sugar [1/2 cup Mother used] (brown sugar must be packed down hard to get the measure) / 1 clove garlic, minced / 1 12-ounce can (1 1/2 cups) beer [Stroh’s]/ 1 small can mushrooms Trim excess fat from brisket. Season with salt & pepper, place meat in 13X9X2 inch baking dish; cover with onion slices. In bowl, combine chili sauce, brown sugar, mushrooms, garlic and beer; pour over meat. Cover with foil or top of baking dish. Bake in 350 degree oven for 3 1/2 hours or until done. [Rest of Recipe...is as follows: Uncover and bake 30 minutes more, basting occasionally with juices. Remove meat to platter. Skim excess fat from drippings; measure liquid and add water to make 1 cup. Blend 2T all-purpose flour and 1/2 cup water; combine with drippings in sauce pan. Cook stirring constantly, over medium heat till thickened and bubbly. Pour mixture over meat and serve.
This comes from our neighbor when I was growing up. He was a cook in the war. But this recipe, I think, comes from LBJ our president from Texas. There is another version where you baste this outside and our neighbors made this all year round, even in the winter! These two recipes are really good, and the last goes well with baked potatoes.
*COOKING TIP FOR ANYTHING Try dark brown sugar instead of light!
HEATED ORANGE JUICE Heat that orange juice, it’s great winter drink!!!! Don’t heat pop – it’s puke!!!
SALMON OR TUNA LOAF 1 T LEMON JUICE 2 C FLAKED SALMON OR TUNA 1 C MED. WHITE SAUCE 1/2 C TOP MILK (1/2 CREAM 1/2 MILK) (OR JUST USE MILK ALONE) 1/2 t SALT 1 BEATEN EGG 1/2 C CHOPPED CELERY 1 C BREAD CRUMBS
ADD LEMON JUICE TO SALMON; ADD REMAINING INGREDIENTS; MEX WILL. BAKE IN GREASED BAKING DISH IN MODERATE OVEN (350 DEGREES F) UNTIL BROWN AND SET. ABOUT 30 MINUTES. SERVES 6. [NOT UP ON THE SAFETY OF SALMON TODAY, I GUESS OKAY.]
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING, BUT THERE IS A CERTAIN BEAN COMPANY OUT THERE THAT SEEMS TO HAVE BAD CHILI RECIPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ENJOY!
Yesterday when I got home I heard that you couldn’t get into the interior of Puerto Rico because roads were impassable and people were not getting water and food etc… Is this just a quick overall that doesn’t cover all. Some are getting through to help…new trails with four wheel drives? I don’t know. America has huge transport helecopters with the Army, Navy etc. Why can’t some of those be loaded up with supplies and flown in? Surly there are clear spaces to set down in! They could off load food and water, medical supplies etc and then take on people who need help etc. And how about all the other islands?
PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL THE LAS VEGAS VICTIMS Please think with help and pray for all the victims of the hurricanes, earthquake, floods, and the shooting of late. God Bless and guide everyone’s souls, everyone’s help, and everyone’s perseverance now and to come. And now there are really really bad fires in CA. If this is global warming, the next time around it could partial cover the earth. I don't know. It would grow. Where would be safe? I don't know. Then everyone will get mad. Where will be safe?
Sorry this background is not finished yet, I don’t have my lines and I’m changing the last picture, didn’t have time I wanted to draw. It’s almost done. The doing is more important than the thinking now with drawing. Sorry, for now I'm not changing it. I wanted to add another picture to this...and I wanted to add some blank fields for relief, but the image size here can only be so big and I guess that would degrade the picture if I jpeg it. I really know nothing of set up and HTML here. So I'm just going to add the other I wanted to tack on as a picture, if it works. Will look weird when I change the whole background to something else, if I do in the future. I added and it won't go full size. I'll see about adding it in and jpeg and see how it looks, but I really don't have too much time to keep playing with this. I'm working on drawing. The one thing I have to say on that is I really could use a better way to erase mistakes...like paper pulp to paint over. I feel like I don't have the right tool in my hand, just a cheap version, but my stuff is never as forthright as all I see. I hobble along trying to make due. I feel though that I am changing for a bit better. It all is how and when and how much to cartoon. I have no balance in that. Like being thrown into water and you never knew how to swim. I keep thinking of my lines. They work, they are not square or blocky. That's great, but I want to do pictures too. Certain subject matter comes off, but some fights me all the way and it wins and does not look as sophisticated as it should. I think I know that relaxing more would help, and that is just practice practice, as far as my body is set to do it in the end. I can not depend on this working out in the end for this particular subject matter. :) I still am going to do a test drawing while drinking to see how that comes out! Ha! My body's problem is still blocking finishing a bit. I also think that this same problem is getting in the way of choosing subject matter to draw. I didn't have any problem with that in college either!
I’m sorry, I just don’t have time to put last pic back in. I need to put it in big or edit it to be seen smaller and I really don’t have any time right now. Raking, blowing, roof, inside refrig, drawing, and I’m trying to buy something I need for work that needs to be cheap and right. I haven’t been able to breathe for weeks now. I’m not drawing enough and the paper I bought doesn’t do graphite quite well enough, toothpaste is making me sick. Nervous all the time. But my body sees to it that I slow and then have peroids of peace.
Night fireflys this summer and the first frost yesterday. Wonderful and all for now. Lets get an photo and art display group together!!
I’m working too hard, really. Onward with my folders. Draw! Do you think animals can think. I think they can, they just prefer not to. I’m talking about animals, not people!
Working way hard, too much. I tried working on a picture, spent a day and it didn't work out. I can't see which to pick! I'm down on that. My photo editing program works but so much has been made about it, and this works, but certain things I see in other places will refine and soften a photo more to look like fine art is not there. I have no knowlegde of that, this does not make me happy. I also think someone is holding filters back. I don't know how refined what I am seeing on my screen is. It may be better, clearer. I'm not happy I do not have larger format pictures or fast lenses. I have to display these pictures that I don't think look that good and should. Anyway I am beating my head indexing photos. I'm on my recent and these are way bigger folders. Instead of dealing with 40-60 pic I am dealing with 100-140. I get outside to shoot but inside to index. I wish so much I was doing what I am taking now. I hope to delete more too. As you get more and more pictures, some become the same, and I don't need further pictures. I would like to draw but trouble getting hard copies to draw from. I feel like I am in a funnel and that is because I am outside trying to find photos carrying all the stuff and it drains me. There have been car problems and I'm staring a new part time job. So I have been busy. We have had rain and it let me get to inside house work. It's time for church lunch. Love everyone, Bye!
Big Foot Ha Ha
Creatures are a big laugh. I wouldn’t just think so.Big Foot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Lock ness Monster, Spirits, ET!Everyone’s laughing, writing it off, giving evidence!well maybe.These may be long standing hoaxes.Does anyone really know for sure?Maybe.I have another thinking.How long have we been watching TV, reading books, telling ghost stories.Wondering about others experiences.Wanting to know more. A long time.How many love it whena new show comes, a new story or experience about ghosts!This isn’t just us, I imagine people all around the world are interested.And people all around the world have been wondering about this for a very long time.Maybe as long as humans could communicate anything!I imagine stories being told around fires long into pre-history.Not just to keep the kids in line but with deep interest, fear, wonder, unknown!We harp on it, search, story, delve, mesmerize. Fly! Anything into nothing! Dissolve! Dragons! Are extraterrestrials trying to communicate? Where is this?We feel this void! This is a void we keep talking about and not knowing anything. It has to be there! Is this now a long lost deep seated predatory sense, or something else?I don’t think we have outgrown our heads.Were the ones that have shot ourselves off the earth. So I think…
We are part of the universe. We happened.We have as solid a place as bacteria, we happened.So if we keep sniffing around about this, is our behavior alone not evidence that this unseen dimension does exist!We are the best evidence for this!It may truly exist!I’m not saying that Big Foot is real.I don’t know about any of that.But perhaps this dimension exists!Showing rarely.Maybe can’t. Maybe our dead relatives can give us dreams, or see into the future.Maybe none of these TV stories are true, but someday someone walking in a field will just disappear forever into that dimension, for real!It will really have happened. I kind of believe strange things can happen.It just doesn’t come around much - Physics.(And I don’t discount new technology that no one knows about either. ) So every time you want to watch or hear about Big Foot, ghost stories, monsters ect… don’t feel like you are a dunce.You may just want to become more aware of this dimension which is implied by the story.Your holding fort.It is an example. So go on loving monster stories, it could be real…or was!Lockness could be real, or not, but it is a symbol for something that is real and who knows when that could come around!You might be able to walk into another dimension! And Lock ness could appear! Just my opinionJ
Sad tonight. I wish I lived in another somewhere else. I had a pretty good week though (even got the kitchen floor done), straining my back – walking looking for pictures, being out, alone, not bothered. I did find some but close-ups are a fish bowl. I don’t see into it as much. But I see some, and as I go, I have, in the past, keep learning and remembering things. I’m so concerned now about aperture, ISO, depth that I forget that my photos are still set to jpeg for candids and not set to raw as they should be. My tripod is the most work. Lugging it around…the weight and using my back and walking …then setting it up again if I have to lower legs or give height. Lower legs, one is hard to pull out and I get my hands dirty and don’t want to touch the camera. My face is getting tan by being out so much, but thankfully not burned. Don’t forget your misquote repellent and a extra battery! But it’s like a day event. When you get home you are sopping and everything needs cleaning. There is very little time, the car needs a spray off, dishes, bills, mow yard etc… I thought I was going to kill myself after three days, but my back didn’t go out. I didn’t get foot cramps after the first night, their going into my leg and I was afraid how bad it would be, but I didn’t get any. I’ve been trying to put all these pics in folders. The real problem is deletion. I go over each picture and it takes time. I’m trying to delete more. Summers are getting harder because I’m trying to get pictures and tax my body. But it is natural to be out. Kind of all ties in. The deer don’t know me where I am now, so I am left alone from them. So I also wanted to draw. I finally got 3 or 4 in. Practice is whole pictures now. I lee one, then want to go back to realism for safety. I didn’t know where I was going, I never have with this cartooning. I have just been letting go and drawing loose with music and harmony, but sometimes they still look like they need more crash (warping). So after mother realism I go out again into the nether world with more warping. This feels right. I opened up my portfolio and (this has happened before) some of the really way out ones that I though were too leed out, looked GOOD!!!!!! Happy Happy!
The bad part. I’m getting scared to live around here. Everything I write in here is noted. Some of the people around here are very hateful. I’m scared to live around here. I want someone to guard the house. Some people are that forward that they are going to break into the house! I’ve already had an eve pulled out and tonight a branch pulled down. This was not any branch, it was one that helped make an alcove in the back. I know that sounds petty, but when you live alone and have no family and have no bass inside yourself, you want bass around you. It’s everything. Things are constantly being taken away from me, sometimes physical, all the time mental. I don’t have church on Sunday because I now work at that time. I miss breakfast. I know it’s because of photoing and art. (not that I’m working then, but the harassment). Christ they can get their own stuff and do it. They are scared to do that…or they really think I should not be doing it. Art for people is only a ticket to ride! It’s like I said I really don’t like it around here. It’s always something that I can’t go to the police about. I wish we would have stayed in Adrain and I could have driven to Detroit on the weekends. I sometimes feel I could have made friends, that, at least, had sympathy for art. I’m like completely alone in this here. There are people into art, probably people that would like to be, but there is none that I know of that do my type. I think we are few and far between. I can’t not do this, I’d get sick. And I’m not doing it everyday, all day! I wish my parents were still alive. They didn’t help with this, but talking was nice. I have no one to really talk to. So far this summer some of my goals have been met, not 100%. That’s probably like it is with most people. I don’t want summer to go, as most people. I’d like to be a snow bird. I’d like to get an assignment in the south!!! I hate being closed-in, in winter. I should re-learn portrait lighting. I just don’t have the time for anything extra. I’m trying to turn one of my car cam videos into a clip. I got it clipped but there was still a lot of space being used. I don’t have time to learn that. And this is one of the things that makes me mad, there is no one to fill in and tell me in a split second how that goes! Plah Hope I can get a drawing or a few pics in here. And they don’t like that! And they can do this too! And I’m suppose to get mad. They are helping me to get mad, that’s the excuse. I’ve done my time, I don’t want to get mad. I don’t feel now that I should have to get mad. I know people have died fighting. I’m about through with my life and in my opinion they should rely on technology more to fight war, less will die. They must have many many types of weapons no one knows about. I don’t want to stand out in art. I do want to be part of it, and not a secondary part. I wish there could be a part that was everyone equal.
I planned to do this yesterday, at least the drawing, but I wanted to put in more photos. Been done before, but I was trying for inflight bees. This was the best, with a little editing. The bottom dragon sat real nice. But I still had on auto focus for both. My equipment is not good enough for this. So the berry one I focused on the eye – my software told me this, and the berry got in focus! Maybe it looks for contrast in a bigger area than the little square. My equipment has, and is working at the best it can, I’m sure. I cropped both to look better at that view because not so much in focus. I was in high ISO too. Braced or hand held. I sometimes (if I can) do not hook into a tripod but brace on it with fast shutter. The berry one tried to distract me, so I swung over and got him? I guess it was the male. Ha I don’t know bug parts, it may be a male.
Vehicles plowing and killing people. A long while back I drove into Canada and on, to a Canadian city. It was hard enough driving in another country. It is, somehow for me. The edges of the road and spacing is different, not to mention the speed signs. I was at hyper attention the whole time. I’ve never driven in another country, I’ve never really driven in a city too much. Canada is the only country I have ever been to. So when I got in the city, things changed. Especially the packed places. I was scared stiff! The crowds were right up to the edge of the curb and had their backs turned to traffic, heavily unconcerned. There might as well be no road inches from them. They were in another world! I didn’t know what I was doing! Roads, drives, parking, coming and going, here and there, and at different angles. I’m trying to be aware of everything and not run into a curb or person! Bad situation! I thought of stopping, but I slowed down to a crawl. This was very different from the USA. Now I am not saying this is a bad thing. This was long time ago and many over there seem far more landed and better able to handle a car, and generally better at safely driving. They are more glued to the road, they are part of the road. Probably not needing to be a car all the time either. Many took it for granted that no one would ever breach the road, nothing is settled like that over there. It just kind of doesn’t exist. America is more fly around – all over. It’s different on the sidewalks in America (or my area of it). When anyone is on a city sidewalk they are always super aware of the road! It’s just normal that a car could run off the road and run you down or into another parked car that might hit you. I’m not talking about today’s terrorism, but always. People are so fly around here that the road is not as heavy of a thing. Things and ideas are always flying around, and there is, or is seems to me, a higher probability that a car could run off the road. People watch real good on the streets here, and always have because they are part of all this, and they know what is driving by them. Again I’m not saying one way is better. There is no right or wrong way. But today everyone could keep in mind they are inches from moving cars. In a dense crowd you can’t run and get yourself out of the way. If your walking, on a bench, at a outdoor café or restaurant, you might keep in mind avenues of fast escape. Every car could go off the road! And if you are on a mall with a blocked off road, nothing is going to keep a car out – it’s a road. Bridges that people can walk on with traffic are dangerous. It’s really tight. Like I said I haven’t been up there in a long while, it may all have changed. But just thought I’d toss that in. Because I remember it so well. Anyway I was very happy when I finally got the car parked and could explore on foot. Canada was wonderful.
THIS LOOKED MUCH BETTER IN PERSON. FINER, MORE DETAILED, SOFTER. I SPENT TWO DAYS LABORING OVER TWO PICTURES THAT REALLY DIDN’T DO SO GOOD, BUT PASSED. THIS TOOK, MAYBE 10 MINUTES! GO FIGURE. THE OTHER TWO WERE TESTS. AGAIN I HOPED I COULD PULL OFF COLOR WITH OUTLINING …JUST WASH, AND DIDN’T NAIL ANYTHING. ONE MORE TRY. I’M GOING TO REALLY DRAW LOOSE – TOO LOOSE TO MAKE A DRAWING AND SEE IF THAT IS CLOSER WITH COLOR. I THINK I SHOULD JUST GO WITH ONE COLOR IN THE FUTURE. HAVE A TEST ON THAT. I DID GET ONE PICTURE I CAN THINK WITH TWO COLORS IN IT, OF A TENT. THE ONLY ONE SO FAR. I JUST DON’T LIVE IN COLOR. BUT I CAN WORK WITH IT IN A PHOTO! THIS IS JUST A DRAWING…AS YOU KNOW!
THESE STORMS. I’M AFRAID WE WILL SEE AN EXODUS FROM CERTAIN COASTS IN THE FUTURE. THAT SCARES ME ABOUT THE ENVOIRNMENT AND WILDLIFE. SEEMS WE SHOULDN’T BUILD ON ANY NEW LAND FOR THIS SAKE. ARE THERE MANY STANDING OLD HOUSES IN TOWNS AND CITIES, WITH NO ONE LIVING IN THEM, THAT ARE REALLY UNFIT TO LIVE IN? WHY CAN’T WE BULLDOZE THOSE AND BUILD NEW HOUSING? BUT OF COURSE WHERE IS GLOBAL WARMING GOING? WILL MANY OTHERS BE UPROOTED IN THE FUTURE, ALSO, THAT DO NOT LIVE ON A COAST? JUST A THOUGHT. I KNOW LITTLE OF THE DETAIL ESSENTIAL TO REALLY TALK ABOUT THIS. JUST A FREE FO RM IDEA .
I am sorry it took me so long to get back and correct this. I have been working and then been taking pictures. When talking about the hurricane, I really didn’t mean only houses from the middle of cities, villages could be built there…but there is where usually the oldest and run down are. [To insert here also, when a brand new house is built around derelicts, you can’t believe how, still, it looks so nice. Many would look like a new subdivision!] But there might be able to be housing built in the outskirts of towns also, or further toward the outskirts. I just fear any more building out in nature. I have lived where I do now for a very long time. There used to be the town and then the countryside. The countryside had fields and woods. Now the whole county could be better termed an open air suburb. Little by little.
I sat there all afternoon Wed following the news. Horrible things all together! TX, Mexico, Puerto Rico and all the rest. Many people have lost everything! Many people! Many have died, many are hurt, many are waiting to be helped! And all the political news, that has to go on. The whole thing is horrible and very sad, ripps the heart and I can’t help. I’m weak, I can’t just go down there and volunteer my body (I could take pictures, but no one has contacted me.) and I got no money really to give. And this is going to go on and on for many many people. Day after day, month after month. And many want to go to war, I don’t think so. This is what happens! The news will change (as it has to) but they will still be homeless, hurt, or dead. It’s like no one cares, but I know everyone does. AND I’M SURE MY NEXT ENTRY WILL NOT HURT ANYONE. I’M HOPING THAT ALL PEOPLE AFFECTED WILL BE GETTING FOOD SHIPMENTS IN AND THESE WILL BE AS GOOD OR BETTER THAN MY MOTHER’S RECIPIES.
Working on this pic this afternoon. I was astounded how good things looked as the layer was a distance down the stack! I've seen all this before, kills me everytime I see what layers can do in PS. Not one or two, many! Esp. when displaying the pictures I want to put in my journal. Here is the picture:
Do you know how many variations there can be? IT IS ENDLESS! And it's all so very less stiff and formal looking. Really looks classy. I never can believe it! You can put pictures over writing, writing over pictures, little bits and pieces crop up everywhere and blend right in! Freaks me out how good!!!! I've tried to do this in my one background so no matter where your eye falls there is something there to not let you down. But This!!! It's endless eye love! Anyway you turn something cool crops up depending on where you place your layer in the background stack!! Everything is new and beautiful. Can there be a journal like Photoshop types? You may be able to insert layers to many layers in this journal, but I just don't understand how to do it. So it may not be this journal...but in PS you can do many things and other things besides!! Has or why is there not a more user friendly organization for these things? It was so beautiful and can never be done here with what I know unless I make it into one pic...that comes and goes in one block here. I wish I knew more about this site. I don't understand the in depth explaining. As for my art I deleted some clunky things. I'm still not up on it. Because of work I have not drawn in a long while. No worry. My body has to get straightened out. It's closer. Nothing new will happen until it does, then it will be automatic. I need to slurp more and relax. So there are more outakes of drawings.
This is where I'm at in drawing last summer. Better, but not lose enough. I wonder if I ever will be. I'm working, or have working a lot and when I do this I can't draw. Also my focus has been on the photo indexing program. I'm not going to get any better unless time passes and my body itself bit by bit rearranges itself to where it should have been when I reached adulthood. I think part of my backbone did not arrange it'self right, or was bulged out. I don't know if it was teeth straightening or I was just born with it. Ten years ago I did not think anymore or do any drawing. I couldn't. I still have a bit of a problem of seeing how to finish a drawing. So I wanted to get the program finished up. My drawing sits at this. I will not get any better until my medical problem gets fixed. I would have to rest and get my bloom back to see where I was now. This would get me a bit further, but not 100%. Practice is always good though. So disreguard these frowning face portraits. Subliminally I'm mad because I can't get it to flow out. Ha! You have to set yourself up...and you can fall or fail when drawing. I guess the doing is the most important. It's really funny they look mad! I choose women because that is a medium hard subject. Not easy, not hard for me. Teddy bears look better because they have the round plain look. But I'm trying to get to my inner flow and it's sad because part of it is missing yet. I may take these down. Their not the best. I just put them up here to have something up here. I have no time for anything and would like another photo up. The one with the glasses is my mother who has passed on. :) In all fairness she did not have that big a nose! But it came off as an okay drawing. I'm not fine enough yet. It's a hard problem for me. Others don't even have to think about it. But drawing is something I am interested in (Photos too) and never lets me down.
MORE PHOTOS:
I thought this was such a pretty and funny older painting! So funny!
This an area around where I live. It is a complete fiction. I took many houses & barns out in the left background. This is what it may have looked like! Actually a nice place to settle. But I like pictures with open spaces. And since I can't put 90% of what I take in here. (not X-rated but problems with putting this up) I have to rely on more work. And this was an afternoon and into the night worth of work...and in the end, to me, it is a pleasant landscape, but not ready for fine art. Spring is coming!
Can't resist teddy bears. My mother gave me one when I was little.
Sorry if the trunks in the first and this look too wide. They look just passable on my home screen, depending on your screen they may look too wide. Where do I place things?! I don't think I can post the size I want in here, I have a question in. I have a link above. It shows a bit too small and a bit too big to see all on my screen here. Like I said I bet I can't post bigger horizontal picture here.
My life has been hell the past few weeks and I don’t see this getting any better soon. I’ve never had such a junky early spring.Trees were cut in the back and yesterday a neighbors pine tree blew over on the house.I was aware of the wind, but I was inside and working on what I really feels best.I heard my power lines moving.March – Lion /Lamb! Lights fluxed.So yesterday when Watch Tower church helpers came to the door, I was made aware of the pine!!Nothing but upheaval!Everywhere.One Saturday I slept all day.I got some photo indexing work done.I couldn’t believe it!But there is a problem with that!I’m getting ready to never pay bills if this keeps up.Not a good scenario.My own structure that I set up, always serves me better than any other I encounter.So I finally fit in adding to my Folder Number File Start Number list..I never knew how much I use all my side lists and metadata sheets.They really help.Boo Goo, now I leave for the church lunch.I help with it.
WINTER TIP
SPINACH! SUPER BRIGHT LIGHT! YOU MAY NOT WANT THIS. TURN OFF FURNACE. OPEN THE DOORS AND LET FREEZING AIR IN. CLOSE DOORS. TURN ON FURNACE. YOU NOW HAVE WARM OXYGEN N IN THE AIR, NOT CARBON DIOXIDE.
GRAPHITE DRAWING TIPS
No one really likes graphite drawing that much that I know. I love it! But for the few out there:
When you have alterations (marks, erasure, tone changes, rubs) near or right next to a part you do not want to change, use a piece of print paper to cover the part you do not want changed and while holding it firmly down, make your changes by and over it. This works pretty good. I also use print paper to rest my hand on while working across the drawing. Wash your hands, they have always got oil on them.
Another tip is when you want to erase a mid to dark tone (and want it erased as close to the original tone of the paper [usually in my case white] make sure you pad the passage you want erased several times with a kneadable eraser first!! Every pad will lift excess graphite up. After every pad knead the eraser again so you start out with a clean surface to place down over the passage again. To pad: after the eraser is down, don’t move it, but you can press directly down as hard as you want. After several presses, this will get excess graphite on the surface out of the way so you won’t be rubbing it around while erasing with the normal eraser and end up with a shadow. After the excess graphite is out of the way with the kneadable you can erase with a normal eraser as you usually would. These steps will get as much graphite up and out, getting the paper back to it’s original tone, or almost, depending on how dark the original graphite patch was to begin with. If you go any further with more and more and more erasing or abrasives you could abrade the paper surface or risk putting a hole thru the paper. Some papers (watercolor)or boards are thicker and can stand fine sandpaper or razor blades. Paper will show abrasion and that will not match a untouched area, or you should check it. If it’s a small area, you could get away with it. I wish there was some way to make up paper pulp from the paper you are working from and paint over with it. But I don’t think it can be done, or I’ve never heard of it.
Kneadble Erasers are good for lighting areas too. They work good with charcoal and you can form them into any shape you want. They last longer than you think. I also have the flat silver erasing shield. It works on dots and really small stuff.
I rub mostly with an old toothy rag for big areas. The chamois gives an even smoother rub. I’ve never used the blending stumps/sticks/tortillons too much. I guess I have not got the knack or am not using soft enough graphite. My larger areas with sticks are never uniform enough. (But this could be a background technique!:) You can roll your own, but the paper should be acid free. To clean or sharpen the tip, use fine sand paper. i'M LOADING THE PROGRAM
Things have been going okay and I’ve been feeling bad. I slept the last two days. Did not feel good. Today I felt much better and got much photo cataloging done. I never know when I can. It seems to be going alright. I had two hangups on backing up the catalog. I thought I knew just was going to happen, but there were questions along the way. Thankfully I’ve got that worked out. It’s going. Of course I been through the photos I am working on now about 4 times before, and I still have new keywords to apply this time around! I have 129 of these folders and I think I will stop at 29 and start on my new photos. That way I can go back and/or have someone else, do the standing 100. It sounds bad, but as I go on, place names begin to be filled out and my total keywording fills as I go along, so I don’t have as much makeup to put in. I’ve started some pretty good lists on the side that I’m sure will help me. Like just what is in each catalog backup. This won’t matter with folders (because I can see which folders the backup covers) but will for global keyword changes. Also I have found it very helpful if I read down the program’s keyword list now and then to spy any typos or misspellings. Correcting keywords is as easy, just search for them! It has been easy, so far. I keep telling myself, this is how it should be, if things go wrong and I can’t put this together. This is how it should be! I don’t quite have the best of the best RAM, but it is okay. As the catalog grows (if I keep getting that far) if I need to search, I can search on smaller segments. If only I could do this outside! Tomorrow I’m going out. To yard work or pre work on photos. The program acts like this is second nature to deal with many photos. I have another part that can makeup lists from metadata fields. So far this is a diamond and is working like a jewel. KNOCK ON WOOD. KNOCK ON WOOD. KNOCK ON WOOD. This has been such an uphill climb over four years. I know enough of the program to operate it the way I want to set it up. I have that and I have notes on it. I can hang to that. If I can hang to versions, operating systems for awhile. I'll tell you, I would need someone to come in and overhaul everythng I have if I had to change something. That's a plee I have. Please, make it easier for people to work over older systems. They age so fast! Too fast! I never would have even begun to learn this without question help though. I hope these people are getting paid well. Think of it, they are answering everyone's quesions, what ever it is, in many a split second, over and over again! Day after day! Most of the questions I don't even understand! They are genius! Without these people I wouldn't be able to run the program. I can't thank them enough! The program is really great! I just had a time learning it.
I’m busy. Did I report that I am finally loading photos into my program.I’ve got a lot to load.I have bigger folders with my recent stuff and I’ve just about got 10 done.And 29 of my past work.I took pics today and there is more work cleaning up from it than doing it!I’ve got to go home and clean the floor, car outside (I just got it washed) and other stuff.I finally remember to squint so I can take grab photos that will stand up and look more fundamental in displaying the photograph. More like advertising or newspaper photos.Now if I can hold my horses and wait for a better comp like that.But I can’t do that forever, I would miss many many finer art compositions.This morning back to my usual.Nothing wrong with it but I hope my camera and lens is quality enough.I look for such fine values and compositions.I have always needed Medium Format or even Large Format.Could never find any used equipment so I hope my pictures are fine enough.Been studying some extended basic camera operations that I’ve been through before but always have to drag in the handbook.I hope I have them down better and with notes.I know nothing about if or how editors do what they do to a photo to run it.I get the feeling sometime that there is more out there than anyone knows.I’ll have to get off this now.I haven’t found the time to draw, yet.I’ve got the eves yet and the front bush trim.It is a wonderful spring day today and I’ve got to get on with my chores.
Balance blocks down. I thought I could finally have the Internet. Bought a very inexpensive laptop. The Internet slipped. Ongoing space. I'm good with little space, I just don't want it to erode. It seems that with all the auto updates on the Internet you can't control the space they eat up. The places I asked said you can't do anything about it. You can't recover the space it eats, you can't estimate the space that will be eaten, you can't buy and replace any space on the laptop. This only has 27.8GB. I refuse to have this less than a year because of ongoing updates that gobble up all that I can't control. Already 100MBs are missing. I innocently downloaded an AP for work and I don't have the right browser. I had to download another AP for the company to look at my hard drive. Then it was happening because of my operating system. I get home and call back to where I got it and gained a bit of space back, but not the 100MB I needed. This to me is a bunch of shit. I really don't have anyone to talk to that is the last word. Maybe who I have are right. Maybe a board. So I've been told this happens with all lower end Android devices also, so that is not a way out. I thought of buying refurbished, but that would be an older laptop. I don't know, that wouldn't work with the New Internet Sites! Again, no one to talk to. The problem around here is they just deal with slow computers, virus, etc. Most just have a newer laptop and maybe an older desktop. Really most now either have a tablet or phone! They just go on the Internet. I'm never like that, I want to extend way out and can't spend further money for what everyone has. I have the feeling there are people around here that might know. I've never had the Internet and it looks like I won't. I'm sick of going to the Library. I'm going to have to take back the laptop. Money is money. I'll never spend it on something that is not a good investment. The trouble is that people are not investing in me because I don't work in a factory. That is a fallacy with my back and temperament. Does anyone know about division of labor? I'm all for putting it on a horizontal instead of a vertical sometimes. So now I'm going on the Internet one last time here (maybe I can coax more time from my garage sale laptop) to see how much additional space this session takes up.
Back goes the computer. Last weekend was softer and harder. No pics but some looked good I had taken. Looked for clothes and found two on way sale. I need clothes, washing them is horrible!
I can run the laptop with it's space full! Can surf the Internet, save documents or run an ap off thumbdrive!:) Couldn't believe this! Had more trouble with extended protection plans. The laptop just can't accept anymore updates when it is full. On the way over I saw a horrible accident. It was like you would see in a movie. A car had crashed thru a fence and was standing straight up on its side. I hope no one was hurt. It was good to be out in a bigger place. All day it was sunny and I couldn't believe I got my laptop back! I take every chance I get to catch up on other things. Art supplies, shoe paint, other stores. Didn't want to leave. Didn't want to drive into town and take more pictures. Mid week is lighter. Going home it was dark. Seeing City's glow where I had been.
Does anyone have trouble with pre paying gas? I'm from a town of about 10,000 and I never have done it much. The second time about a month ago I paid and forgot to get the gas!!!! I'm just not used to that, when I leave the gas station, I have paid and am free to go! I had washed the car yesterday (salt) and it froze. I can't get the gasoline door open! I didn't know if I would make it to work but after inserting Mother's plastic fork handle in the seam many times I got it open. The sun was shinning. I should have left way earlier. There was frost against the sunrise...Beauty! And were the deer out! I saw two family groups and a couple on the drive over. I didn't get any frost shots. The sun was pretty up. A pony. A yard freeze. My usual place didn't look like much. It was blocked by a red truck on the way out. I continued and wished to quit this job and spend more weather time looking for photos. I wish I could get paid to do that. I met someone who does, but I think he has money on his own. I work so hard on photo organizing, sometimes it eclipses photo ops, or paying more attention. I mean I check the weather a lot, but frost is harder. Happy! The notes and documents side of my camera and photo organizing only now need a bare bones step outline of my work steps. Then I turn to more program things. So to continue with the trip. I passed all my photo op places that didn't look good in mid morning hard light except one. This is new territory for me (driving to a new place) so I try photos in any light that looks good. This guy stopped and asked what I was doing and I said taking pictures. He wanted to know why, and I said because I love art. He thought that was okay. Made me happy. Sometimes you don't get that reaction. Then I passed by everything else. There is one which needs special snow. And one I have not even gotten to yet. That needs a place to stop. Then to work. It starts out okay. But my back breaks down in two hours and I don't know how I get through the rest of the day. Today the store was flooded with food demos. I've never seen so many! The other day I was out looking for photos. It was the second day of my break. The first day (right after the night I got back from work) was perfect and I missed it sleeping. The second day looked like it would be good but didn't turn out. Everyone was on my tail. I finally got mad and got out my sign "Taking Photos." And that didn't help. I get off the road as much as I can, but in the winter with all the snow, you can't tell where the road stops and the ditch begins. One time I forgot that the new snow I was out photoing had covered ice and I slipped into the ditch trying to pull back out onto the road! I Try to place my car where cars can pass without blind hill and stuff. (The best places for photos.) I am always on edge. You have to worry about being out alone as much as thinking of how to take the picture. There is a good side and a rotten side to driving around looking for photos. You can get some quaint fresh pictures, but on the other hand if you can get tips where the best visions could be, or have something scheduled, that could be good too. I wish I had someone to go with...I need more than one! I need someone to drive and let me out to take pic, while they go on and come back. I need protection against deer REALLY HA - I can't scare them away. I wonder how these people photograph in Yellowstone! How do they keep the preditors at bay? Do you know how many things are out there! Packs of wolves, mountain lions, bear, bison.........deer!!!!!!!!!!! HA! How do they keep them at bay?? So I have spent a warm time reporting my job at Burger King and writing this. I hope to get a very cheap laptop for the internet soon. Can use that..
GOT TONS OF PICTURES AND NO TIME TO WORK UP ANYTHING – IT’S GOOD TO BE OUTSIDE RAKING IN THE COLD. NOW THEY ARE FROZEN LEAVES. I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD THANKSGIVING. FOOD IS SUCH FUN AT TIMES, AND IT IS A DINNER FULL OF FAMILY LOVE THAT LIVES ALL AROUND MANY. HOPE AND PRAY FOR THOSE THAT DON’T FEEL LIKE THIS. IT MAKES ME WISH I COULD WRAP UP MY FEELINGS AND GIVE IT TO THEM. HAPPY THANKSGIVING AFTER A WONDERFUL SUMMER OF LIGHT AND SOFT WINDS. LIFE IS ALL AROUND!Dinner was way good!
This one was too long, it would be better if I could set up at this site with editing program! These are practice pics. I don’t think I’m going to get as light and thin on the point as I should be for standard picture drawings. I do better at just lines for set up for this journal, but it takes two seconds!!!!! If I get rested, I want to draw until it’s out of my system. Wish I had more filters? This pic is so so, I don’t have time much, I’ll try and find something else, but, the subject matter for the pic disappears as soon as I run it. I can’t run ¾ of my picture’s subject matter in here. One grey barn and one white barn have been torn down. I hope I can take more pictures in the future, but I have many pics I took this summer and I have to index those too!! It’s harder to force edit something, anything, than to have it happen naturally! HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD CHRISTMAS AND WILL HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR. I’ve been way to much to do. The snow storm really took any free time away. I’ve missed important stuff! Really bad! I can’t get it together. I really have too many notes written in too many places to recover and I’m trying to do other things that are major needed. I don’t know when this will stop???? I’m ready to quit EVERYTHING!!! I went to my friends for Xmas. It was a really great time! Then I forgot to report my job – I just didn’t have ANY time to do anything. I was going back to use her internet (Library closed) and was early so I thought I’d scout a picture. I shouldn’t have. It was a boat loading dock and the way down looked slushy but plowed. So I went down. A winding trail down a bit. I got halfway back up and stuck. I don’t have 4X4 and a little compact car. Spin spin spin. I was there a good 2 hours trying to dig out. I don’t have a cell phone, but there were people around (or some, it was a deserted lake in winter). Warm out and melting and raining ice and rain. The birds took pity on me and started helping because I was about crying. It was my own fault. So I dug and dug and cracked and cracked for all that time. I do have a shovel in the trunk because I know I am prone to going places in the snow for a picture! I made bit by bit progress until I thought it was just one wheel, so I dug a long track for it ahead, cleared all the other wheels real good (the left sides were in partial dirt anyway) and tried again. I still was not visible from the road, too much brush. This time I changed and used LOW gear. Boy that worked better and I sloshed and slipped all the way up to the road. But I was too late to report my job. They were leaving. That is the second time I have gotten stuck on that trail and the second time I have got myself out. The last time it was deep snow in a part. What a mess out. I’ve gotten pretty much all cleaned up, except the trunk floor. I hope the new year brings some time off. I went to work and again all it was salt on the road. Fresh salt! I got a bit more photo indexing done. I need most to get on a computer now. Did you see...it's a bit lighter at night! The sun is coming back! Will I ever get anywhere on my indexing. I may stop it or quit my job to do it. Tempting. I’m having a hard time with the cold. There is too much other things to do. I’m considering dropping TV all together…just so I don’t have to set up something else and can do my indexing!!! January to go. I actually did not fall asleep this year and watched the New Year’s Eve ball drop in New York. In the past I have a party or get together…very recent. I remember my parents, they always went out to a dance club. My mother always wore black and silver. OH OH wonder my corner tree finally lost it’s leaves. I was out 2-3 days ago raking last leaves in 40F. I’ve got to go shopping and make calls tomorrow. I hope to get back on indexing tonight, but I probably will be too tired. How can I work on something as important as that with a light head. When I got home form my last jobs I slept one day away…New Years. I still feel sick.
I've been way to rushed and it's gone on too long and too much work. They are cutting and trimming trees at my place...and all over town I guess. I hate that. I sometimes wished I could live furrther out of town. So I could go out somewhere and read or work. I'm so thin skinned when ever a dog barks or a kid screams it gets on my nerves. I try to use a CD player on white noise, but that hurts my hearing. I got a strange charge on my one credit card. I try not to use it, but sometimes it really does come in handy. But not very much because I don't get out of town much. And don't have that much to spend. I hope that changes. I would love to go clothes shopping. I am out of town now, I drive to work a bit. A week ago or so I was I was driving home from work at night in the dark. It was one of those nights that was close to 0 degrees, snow all over. The back way I take has many miles of a tared road that is not used much. It is a diagonal direction to my town and it saves time and miles. I just got done thinking worrying that...What if your car broke down now? I don't have a cell - I'm trying to cut my phone back for money now. I mean I couldn't take the cold. I did have many many tons of clothes in the car if such a thing happened. Well I turned down the diagonal long road to nowhere and all of a sudden a loud grating and grinding noise that didn't stop! I thought the car would stop at any time! I couldn't believe it. I stopped and the noise stopped...while the car was still running. It didn't seem to be anything with the engine but I couldn't tell. I got out and looked under the car, but I saw nothing. Back in, I moved the car, the noise started. I decided to drive 10 miles an hour down the road hoping to make it to the next cross roads hamlet. I did and I did make it home and the car's engine did not seem to have anything wrong. I couldn't get out and chase the car as it moved so I never really knew where the noise was coming from. It did lessen and then it stopped before I got home. I took it to the auto shop and they could find nothing wrong. I was expecting an astounding bill after driving that distance with the noise. They said that something may have got caught in the wheel, but they found nothing in the wheels or the engine. Brother. I had a branch do that one night, but I could see it under the car. Couldn't get it out, drove slow, and then it fell away. I enjoy driving home at night. It's restful. Things. I mean right in the middle of the cold winter, a little mouse runs across the road thru the snow, a deer crosses. One time something crossed and I couldn't tell what it was. Just out of headlights. What has stripes on it's flank? What moves in a very feral way deep in the night. At the time I thought Tasmainian Tiger, but they are not here or alive at this time! So I've explored most of the stores in this town on my off time and I am going now to work on photo indexing notes. I'm setting up steps around importing photos at this time. Also I have to set up steps to follow or refer to when I index new pictures. I have all my referal notes mostly. This time is way more to get ready for than the past when I had my old camera. I just set up my own steps then. But this cataloging program is hard in that you must know or build a work flow that is safe and will grow into the future. You must know about pitfalls and choose between many options, and learn the program good. You must have a good backup plan. A big mistake can really mess you up down the road. So I have tried to be as careful as I could. I hope to side step many dangers and pitfalls. I worry though that 100 % will not be side steped. I hope what I don't do right (if I've made a mistake) doesn't hurt me too much.Today I tried as quick as I could, but a job that was listed for my town disappeared one day after I looked for it…I couldn’t find my resume. I don’t like working anyway, even so I’m always working at what I like, in the way it seems it should go. I got another big blockage out of the way with doing the yearly chore. It’s still too cold! You dredge and dredge and it never ends, you think your foolish and your wasting your life...but then it all happens! You can't believe what you have done! Now I have to work 3 jobs and I can't because of a back problem. I just don't have the breth to do it. I don't know what I am going to do. It's just this week though. I know my body, I can't work that much physically. I look like I can but I can't keep up the work day after day. I didn't work quite as much this year and all I remember is that I felt normal and healthy for a few short peroids.
THESE WERE A COLOR TRY, JUST COLOR, BUT IT STILL WILL NOT SIT UP SO I PENCILED OVER THEM. THERE ARE TINTS OF COLOR, I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED BETTER IN BLACK & WHITE ONLY. MY PROBLEM IS STILL HANGING AROUND. I came up with this. I liked it on my computer. There is a person on the internet that does mouths just like this. She really likes art too. I guess she played around with photo programs too. And just kept painting the mouth. I am sorry. You can use my lines if you want to. I tried a line for the mouth and it looked better this way. This is the only way to do it, for a digital picture!? I don’t feel like an artist when I have to copy, but I just made it smaller, then I recognized how I remember seeing these paintings. Don’t know what else to do or say.
Forgetting. I’m really prone to that. I’ve always been like that. I fly around and without thinking about anything, put down glasses, pens, papers etc…. Then I spend time trying to find these things. Like I said before I haven’t lost too many important photo things. A tripod clip which may or may not be in a river, or a long lost pocket. A cheap lens cover, at night on the ground. A lens cap. I lost another lens cap, but found that. Like I say I don’t think about what I am doing with the items because I am thinking about pictures. But the other day I lost a battery. I can’t figure out if it was lost in the change or after. But I just wouldn’t put a battery on the ground. Maybe while putting it in my pocket and not looking it didn’t get all the way in and fell soundlessly into damp dirt. I went back and really looked over all the ground I took pictures in and didn’t find it. Not in a pocket, not anywhere in the car. Unless someone picked it up before I got back to the site. But it is gone. Sometimes the problem is that I put stuff on my lap while driving and then stop and get out of the car. I think I’ve had that happen with art supplies. Or it gets wedged between the other door and falls out when you open that. I couldn’t believe it. One time I got to the site and didn’t have the camera!!!!!! Mother used to laugh about this. Back then I was always losing or misplacing my car keys. I do that less now because I put them on a strap around my neck. But other things. And things not really lost, but I am looking for. Satellite things, not much a part of day to day life but stored away - I can’t find them. I have to go through the whole house! But it struck again a couple of days ago. I locked the house door and didn’t have my keys or my purse. A neighbor helped and took off the outer kitchen window (thankfully the window was not latched inside) and I climbed in. Better than paying a locksmith. Now I know that. If after locking myself out of the house I happen to have screwdrivers handy.
Does anyone get tired of continually having the promise of finally “a good day of up” and it continually being dragged down? Sometimes I wish I had another life! I’m spinning. It’s getting to the point I have to do serious fighting to get time for art.I’m really not doing good in the anger department.Specific things I’m just not going to put up with anymore.It is bad, but frees me up.It’s wonderful not to be under the cloud.I won’t have it.I’d rather fight.Not really.So I don’t know, it’s not a big thing, but it is a thing. I’ve been drawing as much as I can. I’ve practiced.Going out in the car is a drain on losing drawing implements so I cut it to one pencil and a pad.The old blind contour drawing practice.It doesn’t matter what the outcome is on the pad, just don’t look, and try and feel the lines.After awhile, you can’t see your lines among all the others anyway.This does work.I can feel something changing.It’s like learning to play the piano or anything, give it a good slog and then quit, relax forget about it, it’s all in your bodies court.The body takes care of the whole thing then.Eat, sleep.Skip a day.Then go back draw a picture or practice again!That really has helped me to loosen up some (when I want to).I need loosening, some people may be already loose and need to see or concentrate on how to draw more.Or these people may take being on track too far in the other direction!And be careful when you go ahead and practice this that you don’t lose your original eye type drawing that you naturally started out with.So far with me most drawings are a mix of blind contour and looking up every now and then.And if the drawing get too lee and does fit together well anymore, I trace on glass (from life or a photo [which ever I am working from] and overlay a part on the outline on the glass over the drawing and look thru the glass and draw the lines on the glass on the drawing.You would be surprised at how you don’t have to be so exact with all this to get an okay outcome. (For me.)I’m also stretching some drawings up and thinner so the fill in looks more professional.I seem to know what to do with what so far.But round about loosening while your drawing comes from practice.But be careful you don’t loose the old way as the new fits into place.It’s easy because the new way is more comfortable and faster.
I’ve tried a drawing on gray paper. The second try.There is only a limp white sky, but I consider it a success (when I can get more finishing expertise in my body – this one needs looking over for fine tuning).My drawing overall is coming.It’s great that I keep hitting my head and body against the wall of drawing. That’s what you need to do. My body has to put this together on it’s own. The more I hit and hit and hit, the more my body learns.Then my body can feed truisms to my brain for processing.My brains processing is all ready - to come to any conclusion.(All my study in human evolution really gets me around anything that might crop up.I also have the fact that I can do realistic drawing already to lean on.)It’s the body that has to determine truths.And that takes practice.And with these things to lean on, I can gamble on pictures and go ahead and make or break decisions on a drawing at some stage.This has become easier since I have some better drawings already done to back me up.It really hard with some drawings to work so hard and long and then do one thing that can’t be undone well and ruin the whole thing.Compter people will say, just scan it and do this on computer, and they are right.I also keep a pencil holder envelope full of different sizes of paper pieces with different grades of pencil shading on them .Sometimes you can lay in a dark or light patch over the area in question to kind of see the outcome of the drawing if your not sure.If you can hold the light so most of the shadow line is out from around the piece when it’s laying on the drawing.[You can also trace a more complicated area and shade it and cut it out and lay on the drawing to see how it looks!]This is a crutch of mine because I can’t see to finish 100% yet.Sometimes these shaded pieces look better on the drawing than your put down!Sometimes I don’t want my passion broken into and I just want to go ahead and follow my desires and not stop.But you can use these pieces. I never remember using this in college (just my hand block in front of the drawing ) when I knew how to finish 100%.It’s, like I said before, perfect finishing is coming back and is almost 100% again, but not all is back with me yet.So sometimes I preview with these pieces.My drawings vary so.Sometimes you want half not even done!You never know. So I’ve been whacking away. My question is how much freedom is freedom?Do I drop everything and just swipe emotional lines?I know this can’t be all the time because I want to represent some things.Or will my body learn to break into the swipe naturally and fill in, or will a feel a knowledge of root shape take hold (which I don’t have now).And I’m constantly wanting to put in slight backgrounds when the drawing looks great as it is!What to do?One drawing of a doll’s face with a full dark background, I swiped in the background first and didn’t worry as much about the face shape!I went ahead and then filled in the face and the drawing was a resounding success!I have problems with coarseness and dark patches.I don’t like these gravel tones with some dark areas.Rubbing does not always help.I don’t always want the grain out.So that’s it.But really, I have intellectual horizons with this!I have interest.And for those of you just starting out.Keep at it.It really is not too much a waste of time if you are drawn to art.Doing so much of it, you will get better, or art will reveal itself TO YOU and will lead you over to something else (maybe close) that IS RIGHT ON FOR YOU.If your trying to find your way thru college, it can lead you to that place, or help lead you, if, after awhile, you decide that art isn’t quite right.Best though to know all that art has to offer – 3D – COMPUTER ART – To continue my drawing tips… When using glass (I use Plexiglas, not glass that will break.) the distance of the glass (with the tracing on it [tracing can be from life or from a photo etc…]) can vary widely from picture to picture because your trying to overlay the tracing (on the glass) over the drawing your trying to produce. You have to try to get the tracing the size of the drawing. To do this the distance of the glass over the drawing varys. I mostly now hold the glass. But I used to use Kleenex boxes on top of one another on both sides of the drawing to lay the glass on. Then look at the glass lines and trace on the drawing from that. You don’t have to be so exact, this method gives too much of an exact result. Your head will move as you trace and move the glass lines off the drawing underneath. I try and find a key place on the drawing and keep lining that up again before doing more tracing on the drawing. You must really freeze when doing this. You don’t have to be exact, close is good. Maybe trace to the inside of the line.
Like I said, I only use this when my drawing falls off the beam or when drawing by hand and see a critical passage I know I can’t do well by hand, or exactly. I’m very light and not dense. I can’t grasp a feel for the pit of human form. I’ve been at this. I’ve done gesture, contour, blind contour, and practiced a bit and still I do not even feel a whisper of a feel of human form. I’ve seen others painting prep drawings and know others my age and younger have a more solid feel of form. It seems easy for them! So I go on with my practice. Not going to say I will never grasp this, but sometimes being so light, I wonder if I ever will. That is one of the reasons I keep practicing. I would love to establish that I hit a wall in form and will never get it because I am so light. But, I am alive, not too many problems, so it might come out of nowhere sometime. I really don’t know. I have also used glass tracing to narrow an object (move lines off the drawing) or squat it down. (Sometimes when you fill in a drawing with tone it does not look as sophisticated as it should so I narrow the width and make it slightly taller or the opposite of squashing down and making a little wider. Depends on the subject matter). I have also used this method to blow out a part (make bigger{move glass further out] or smaller, or screwed up some way). I have used it To find an area that is more exact for subject matter that has already been drawn (note the better area and erase the part on the drawing. Then put down the glass and draw the part in the new place you noted in the glass. Or do the opposite of what I just said, move an opject to a new , out of exact area. Erase, note the better area and put down the glass and draw the object in the new area.) And of course you can trace a picture fully with this method. It’s up to you. Some people may produce better art by tracing than others. Especially since this method is less exact than tracing paper, or printing out as outline from a digital image. But for some people, tracing an image always gives an exacting machine like stiffness. No life at all. Very student like quality to the finished image. It’s awful! But like I said, with some people – this just doesn’t happen. Looks wonderful. It’s all with the person doing it.
But if your aim is to draw by hand. You like this type of drawing. Stay away from tracing. I sometimes insert a bit this into drawings that I can’t get the part right. I don’t know if I should be doing even that now. ( I got this by studying Vincent Van Gogh. He cartoons and distorts the image, but then something somewhere is dead on exact.) The inset part doesn’t seem to stand out, you can’t tell, but the drawing becomes more photographic. I’m drawing all kinds of ways now. I started slow and all by eye. It took me time on the outline. Now I’m striving to feel the form from inside. No tracing. It’s much quicker. Fully by hand, fast, slow, gesture, blind contour, looking at the paper. I try to balance my self out. I practice, then do a picture, which can also be counted as practice, even if you keep it. Keep everything. Date everything. You passages could be a hit! I look at a picture and figure out how I should do it when I’m not practicing. Decide what paper. I do the same picture different ways! So I have a piece of Plexiglas around if needed. Like I said, I don’t know if I should be doing this. Because I’m not back yet health wise 100%. I picked up my drawing as I got better. I’ve been down for many many years, so I’m just learning MY way of drawing! Maybe when I get back to 100% health wise I will not like the drawings with the glass inserts!! And I can’t see it now! I ‘ve done drawings in the past that I thought were horrible (some I’ve cartooned) and I when I see them years later I love them and think, yes, they do work! And I have done plenty of dog drawings that remain bad today, in my opinion.
But the Plexiglas in the past has kind of helped me develop ideas about drawing, what I should do and what I should not do. I could draw subject matter with it I could not do otherwise. But I’m not using it as much now. All this stuff I’m doing now could just give way to just a type of free hand drawing in the future – just that – only that _ and I will leave all this behind! I don’t know. I’m just climbing the ladder too – I’m not a teacher. If you going to try inserting things with glass, don’t leave the glass on the floor, stand it up or you will step on it. Wash it. The lines get harder to wash off in time. I use a felt tip ink pen. Wash with dish detergent and rinse. Not in warm or hot water, that will warp the glass. Wash in cool water. I have different sizes of glass. But If you like free hand drawing. Practice and don’t use the Plexiglas when practicing. Don’t use it at all. I don’t know.
ect…Ask teachers!
Like I said in the future I don't know. My lines alone are a best fit in the art of today. My images are always a bit logy. I like doing images. In the future I may develop into just liking lines.
IReally sorry I’ve not been here. It’s impossible in today’s world to be everywhere at once. Today I got immersed in cleaning living room, a closet, bathroom, and parts of the kitchen. A real swab job. I got the book on art I was taking notes on. Among other. I don’t have enough time to take care of everything! The leaves are starting! I am fitting blind contour drawing practice in but I’ve got to get back to photo indexing. I never thought the last half of life would be a car crash. Sometimes it feels like nothing is being accomplished. But I know art practice is making headway because I sometime feel like my head is reading to receive input from my bodies learning curve. I can’t do both at once. There is too much going on in my life. I really wish I didn’t have to work to pay bills or my drawings or photos could do that. I wish I could get married or win the lottery. It’s like the whole of society is structured to keep you busy! It’s too structured. I really can’t take any more stuff I have to do. It’s a relief to eat. So simple and whole, nothing else is right now but house cleaning!! I wanted to make this background stand alone and I am working on another digital picture...Wooo Wooo!!!!And those pictures at the top are too wide. I've done others, but it's different looking at them for real, in the physical world and putting pictures up in here. I’VE GOTTEN THRU HALF OF LEAVES. YAHOO! I’VE GOT A FEW JOBS COMING UP. IT SEEMS THEY ALL GO AWAY IF I DAY TRIP, TAKE PICTURES, OR USE MY CREDIT CARD. (ISSN’T THAT MY OWN BUSINESS?) I HAVEN’T HAD JOBS FOR AWHILE. MAYBE IT IS COINCIDENCE, BUT THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. I DID TAKE SOME PICS WITH THE FALL. I MADE A 1ST MISTAKE BECAUSE I WAS SCARED AND IN A HURRY. I DELETED ALL THE PICS ON THE CARD. [I HAD LOCKED ALL THE NEW PICTURES FROM DELETION…BUT I FORGOT I DIDN’T LOCK THE LATEST. I LOST ABOUT THREE I CAN REMEMBER I DIDN’T WANT TO LOSE, AND MORE THAN THAT. BUT THE NEW PICTURES I TOOK WERE BETTER THAN THE LAST, BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO LOSE THE THREE. I’M BACK INTO PHOTO INDEXING. BUT I’M JUST SPINNING MY WHEELS, NOT REALLY GETTING ANY FURTHER IN IT BECAUSE ALL I AM WORKING ON IS GETTING MY LATEST YEAR PICTURES TOGETHER IN FOLDERS. THAT MAY NOT SOUND LIKE MUCH, BUT LOOKING OVER PICTURES FOR DELETION ON SCREEN IS SERIOUS THINKING. I TRY TO PROJECT WHAT MIGHT BE AVAILIBLE TO SAVE A PICTURE AND AGANOIZE OVER ONES I DON’T WANT. IN THE END I THINK I AM DOING A GOOD JOB AT IT. ALTHOUGH, I WISH THERE WAS A QUICK WAY TO STICK CHANGED ELEMENTS FROM ALMOST IDENTICAL SHOTS INTO ONE OR THE OTHER, THUS SAVING SPACE. I’M TRYING TO CUT DOWN. I DIDN’T GO TO THE FAIR, I DIDN’T GO TO THE PARADE, I DIDN’T DO FARM PICTURES. I GET SICK OF THE SAME THING. TODAY I’M OFF BECAUSE I WORKED LIKE HELL ON THE LEAVES FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS. YESTERDAY I WAS OUT TIL PAST DARK DOING UP THE FRONT AND BACK YARDS AGAIN!!!! BUT, NOW, IF I GET IN TROUBLE, THE YARDS MAY BE ABLE TO RIDE OUT THE LITTLE LEAVES WHILE I GET TO THE BIG. I HAVE ONE TREE THAT DOESN’T LOSE IT’S LEAVES TIL, USUALLY DEC!!!!! SO I CAN BE OUT THERE OR NOT TRYING TO RAKE FROZEN OR SNOW LEAVES! I’VE GOT TOO MANY THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW. BUT MY UNHAPPYINESS AT NOT BEING WITH FRENDS IS GROWING AND THAT PUTS ME AT PEACE. BECAUSE I’VE GOT TO FIX THAT.love val!
Been trying to draw. The second one, maybe should not be in. I need to loosen. Work through get me through more practice. I'm browing from others...long noses, line for lips. I can't just do it. I don't feel confident in what I do, but, materials, are not there. I'm sick of tan paper that should be white. I have done some better. Wish I was loos How loose can I get? You can borrow my lines too if you wanted to. I didn't have time to finish the last time I was here.
n I get? I’m still in my shade but it’s lifting. I’m now a hair from seeing how to finish an apple. I’m experimenting with looser and really feeling instead of by eye and filling in the result (because usually the result is off the scale, my body has yet to be able to really feel the pit of a shape. Because I’m so light and translucent and my back so weak I don’t know where this will evolve to. If it ever does. I’m next going to try and relax a shape with an extended pencil trick. Taping a pencil to a stick and holding it out and drawing. My paper is a problem. I have done drawings, but because they are just tests I don’t want to waste good paper. So my recent drawings look less than good. But I have the practice under my belt. ( But everything is gaged.) The color tan is lacking from clothing out here and just the surface I need for drawing is not provided. These are the things that will cause me to quit my job and refuse to pay bills. Help! Pens and painting is what is wanted, not graphite. I get so mad sometimes on being stopped at anything, and I mean anything I want to do. I don’t want to sit and watch TV! Watch others have the money, cameras, and tips of just where to go and take pictures. (They set up video not and the person is not even around I think.) I’m not choosing sometimes the right thing to draw. That is not clear yet either. I wonder where this is going. Something is going to roll up into a ball, will art be included, will photography? I’ve lost all my late summer insects because of that deer. And I wonder if that was set up. Or did it have hidden babies? I must remember something. A few years ago I was primarily worried about not being able to finish off a picture. Now I am stumbling through that better and I am worried that my latest drawing experiments are not gelling. Of course they wouldn’t yet! I really wish I had myself and my body back 100%. It’s coming but this takes years. It would naturally tell me everything, I would just need to practice! But 20-30 years ago if you drew a circle representing an apple, I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to fill it in. I could see nothing. In college I knew how to finish it off 100%, then everything slipped health wise and the doctors found nothing wrong with me. It’s been all my life, working for something, this, and now I’ve got so much turn around in my body back I can once again finish off drawings. I am still hanging around sometimes with masks (actual shaded paper pieces that I physically put on the drawing to see how that would look.) Please computer people. I do computer art, but I still feel compelled to do physical drawing on paper. But the turn around is not 100% yet. I’m even going to try painting (in color?) once again. Producing color in a drawing is still something I might be able to do if I was made different, but I’m so tense, my lines are so tense, it just runs color right off. It’s too much. I really haven’t got on to coloring yet either. I feel like you use blue and red, or hot & cold. Computer art is different. I can shift photos around and have no trouble in color with that. But now I will have to go back to work and working cancels any impulse to draw. Something has got to be done about that. My parents would not like that and I was not born to let drawing slip away the rest of my life. I’ve done a few good drawings recently, but that is not my intent now. I did plow back though and did a couple of more realistic. I don't want to lose realism. The cartoon drawings are fast and might look more contempory, maybe better art. But they are fast. I want to put something down and work more! So I will do more realistic. I also think it needs to be included. I don't know, who knows? The two above were done with the computer. The top was a drawing. The bottom was drawn on a computer. I don't have a tablet. Don't know much about them and don't know if I need one. I need drawing pictures and ink is expensive. I know that! My lines are really my art...and I want more :-&
See this...it's funny and horrible at the same time. Thankful she it okay! Wow! Listen to the bear!https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mY1HvWyJNdM This video is suppose not to be real. It's too much like me being so engrosed in framing pictures when I turn around here is a doe and two fawns watching. Enjoy anyway!
KEEPING UP ON YARD WORK. LOVE GETTING OUT BUT I’M FALLING TIRED. YESTERDAY I DRAGGED YARD ALL DAY, THEN NIGHT STARTED LIGHTNING AFTER I GOT ALL CLEANED UP. BOY IT WAS ELECTRIC ANGRY! BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN SEE IT. I WAS SCARED SO IT WAS SOME TIME TIL I WENT OUT. I DIDN’T GET MUCH. THE WEATHER SERVICE WAS REPORTING A SERIOUS STORM, HAIL, 100MPH WINDS. SO LONG AFTER THE FUN OF BEING IN A DOWNPOUR IN THE CAR I CAME BACK AND CLEANED UP FROM THAT (I WAS NOT OUTSIDE WITH MY CAMERA -HA) IT WAS 3AM AND I HAD TO EAT. REST FOR TWO HOURS OR SO AND TRIED TO PHOTO THINGS IN BACKYARD AT DAWN. NOT TOO MUCH. SO THEN BOTH MY BATTERYS WENT FLAT AND I WAS CHARGING THOSE AND TRYING TO WORK ON MY PHOTO INDEXING. I’M GETTING ALONG. TO SAY, I WOULD LIKE THE INTERNET SO I COULD WATCH THE PROGESS OF A STORM ON LAPTOP. MY BACK IS GOING TO BREAK.
This was a warp testing “Donkey Xing”, I worked and it turned into something. I picked a really hard warp test and didn’t expect to come up with anything This was done a month ago. Then there was the storm. I want to have a new background but not yet. Some flowers, even it they are fresh bloomed do not look good in pictures. I was looking over my stuff. I got some, learned a thing and deleted a lot, and I am glad I get rid of trash. So far so good. I started focusing differently and held my breath that it worked. It did. But you would be surprised at some that don’t show anything, I must check my that my tripod is really tight.
I need to warp more for this journal. It’s a quandary, if I see on a better screen, it looks finer, if not I need to warp – I guess. In my travels I’ve seen a dead deer with maggots, a poor dead catfish, either a winter kill or spring catch, and plenty of life. Esp. shoots. New beetles, a slug curled in a leaf. I had to drop the photo because I was picking my Mom’s Lily of the Valley for a picture – it couldn’t wait. When I got back he had moved. I tried the fly and chain pic but don’t have the right equipment. The eves are clean (what a job) but the screens are not and not up yet and I don’t know when the helicopters are coming (tree seeds). I changed the background to another older pic, but don’t see it yet. 6/6/16 I’ve been working on house. I had energy and the days were really nice to finally be outside with the wind blowing by me and nothing but A B C to put in place. I really did get roof parts cleaner. I really didn’t think it would work, but my little idea removed the spots where falling leaves collect in fall before they blow off or I get them off. I really can’t keep up with the rain, some do collect. The roof looks better, not shabby. I hope the shingles do not start loosing grit. I did this year get all the way across the front scrubs and got them trimmed and the other tied. I’m done early! Just painting and inside garage cleaning. My neighbor’s power washer that I got for next to nothing at a garage sale would not work. It has been balking for two years. I thought it was shot but went to the company and found out I was not connecting the hose tight enough…because I couldn’t get it off the first time!!! So this time my mind told me to try loosing the other end of the hose by the house first and letting out the pressure…this seemed to work – I then got the other end off that was attached to the washer! Now I have the washer back and I am happy. I can get the floor of the garage cleaner.. I work hard but the house does end up looking okay year by year. Taking pictures – it’s wearing me out. This background – I need a new one!
6/9/16 How much more spraying or cutting or rolling over or traffic can I stand. I need a place for myself and I don’t mean a hole in the wall with a TV. I don’t have a good income. I need more money by doing what I can do, not what I try to do and wrack my body up by doing it. I would be trying to work on a background today, but I have something coming up and I can’t commit…it would be into the hours of the morning and I would miss sleep. For photography advice I have, go out when it is favorable to be getting something. You never know. Most of the time you get your shots as you think you would, but sometimes you get the greatest shots when you are on your way out for the day. They just happen. I’ve stopped mostly trying to find a close-up shot with my eye and just look thru the lens at things. Also, remember to take food and drink and hand cleaner. I have lists made up. Don’t forget the little mosquitos, a hat, sun protection, and footwear. This looks better but I'm not that sad!
FIRST DRAFT BACKGROUND – SOMETHING DIFFERENT – MAYBE BETTER TO COME WHEN I GET THE CHANCE TO WORK ON IT. SURPRISED I GOT AS FAR AS I DID. I HAVE ALL THESE PICTURES IN LAYERS. THESE THINGS START OUT OKAY, BUT AS YOU TRY AND GET RID OF ALL THE STRAIGHT JACKET. ONE THING CANCELS ANOTHER, BUT I’M UP FOR IT! IT ALWAYS LOOKS BETTER ON MY COMPUTER AS I SAID, DIFFERENT MONITORS! I’M TAKING A LOT OF PICTURES AND IT BREAKS MY BACK. BEFORE I WENT TO WORK I GOT SOME OF THE CARPET AND RUGS CLEANED A BIT IN THE HOUSE. THAT WAS BOTHERING ME. I KNOW THESE BACKGROUNDS DISTRACT FROM THE PICTURES I PUT IN, AND YOU CAN'T READ TEXT UNLESS YOU HIGHLIGHT IT, BUT I LIKE AS I SHIFT AND SHAPE TO HAVE THE EYE ALWAYS FALL ON SOMETHING CUTE AND SOOTHING, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE. I KIND OF LIKE THAT, BUT IT DOES OVERTHROW THE PICTURES AT TIMES. PART OF WHAT I HAVE TO WORK ON? This is 2nd draft. I'm going to try and work on more. Very busy, hope I can mow the yard!
QUANDARY, BACKGROUND LOOKS C LOSE TO OKAY ON A WIDE SCREEN DESKTOP. (LEFT EDGE PORTION IS REPEATED ON THE RIGHT EDGE. THIS ADDS MORE TO IT.) ON THE SMALLER LIBRARY SCREENS AND A SMALLER DESKTOP WIDE SCREEN, THE LEFT EDGE IS NOT REPEATED ON THE RIGHT. IF YOU COULD CHANGE THE RESOLUTION ON THESE SMALLER SCREENS, I’M NOT UP WITH THAT, DON’T KNOW ENOUGH. SO ON THE SMALLER SCREEN VIEW I WOULD WANT TO EDIT AND ADD A BIT MORE, AND IF I DID, PEOPLE VIEWING WITH BIG WIDE SCREENS WOULD SEE A BACKGROUND THAT WAS TOO BUSY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I GUESS YOU CAN ALTER YOUR SCREEN ZOOM, BUT I THINK YOU WOULD NEED A "LANDSCAPE" OPTION TO PREVENT TILES. I DON'T KNOW.
IF YOU SEE THIS IN THE FULL WIDE SCREEN VIEW WITH THE RIGHT TACK- ON. YOU SEE A LOT OF VERTICAL DIVISIONS. (My health problem throughout after college to the present is getting better, but it’s not fully corrected yet. Meaning if I was all the way back, I might change my mind on this…) IF YOU WERE TO VIEW THIS BACKGROUND AS JUST A STAND ALONE IMAGE I THINK THESE VERTICAL LINES WOULD LOOK BETTER BLENDED OUT. I WAS SITTING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE. THIS IS A JOURNAL BACKGROUND AND THESE DIVISIONS IN THE BACKGROUND (TO ME) MAKE THE JOURNAL MORE TELETYPE. I HAVE NO OTHER LINKS OR INFO SCRIPT IN THIS BECAUSE I WANTED THE ART BACK. MAYBE THE LINES MAKE A MORE NEWSY BED AS YOU SCROLL DOWN. SO THAT IS WHY I LEFT IT THAT WAY. I MAY CHANGE MIND IN THE FUTURE. IF I HAVE THE TIME I THOUGHT I MIGHT TRY AND MAKE IT A STAND ALONE. SEE HOW THAT LOOKS. HOLDING YOUR HAND UP TO BLOCK A DIVISION IS NOT THE GREATEST TEST!I
HAVE BEEN BREAKING WITH PHOTOSHOP, WHO CAN NOT WITH OUTSIDE. I CAN BE THERE AND LEARN MORE PS. THE DEER FINALLY RAN ME OFF THE FIELD. I NEED A BODY GUARD AND A DOG. I’M SIDELINED NOW. ANIMALS ARE ATTACKING. LAST NIGHT AFTER DARK A POSSUM WAS STALKING ME! AREN’T THEY SUPPOSE TO BE TIMID? THE JUNE BUGS ARE NOW! WITH THE LIGHTNING BUGS. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE SUMMER FIELD SCENT AT NIGHT. I EVEN RENEWED WHEN A SKUNK CAME BY. I’M TRYING TO WORK ON PHOTO EDITING. BUT I HAD TO FAINT FINALLY GETTING MY COMPUTER WIRELESS CARD REPLACED. THAT WAS A BIG ONE. IT’S BACK AND EVERYTHING SEEMS OKAY AND NOW THE WIRELESS WORKS, OR MY KEYBOARD AND MOUSE. I DON’T HAVE THE INTERNET. SO THAT INTERVENED. I GOT SOMETHING ELSE TO DO. I CAN’T FILL OUT A FORM, I HAVE TO RESEARCH MONEY FLOW. SOMETIMES PICTURES JUST FALL TO YOU AND SOMETIMES YOU DON’T FIND AS MUCH. I DON’T GO OUT ALL THE TIME – I WORRY ABOUT THIS. I GO OUT IN FOG. BUT FOR CERTAIN THINGS YOU NEED GAS. I’VE USED UP THE AREA AROUND ME FOR LANDSCAPES AND BARNS. I FINALLY PHOTOED THE SKY AND LOOKED FOR SENSOR DUST SPOTS. I FOUND TWO ONLY. THIS IS INCREDIBLE TO ME.
Still not chance to draw. I got kind of caught up for another year. Another year of back change back means I can get further back to the way I was in college (No problem with finishing off a drawing to look normal). Better but not fixed. So my back and tish is not in line yet so these drawings may still not be 100% correct in their fininh, and I can not see it yet. The things I go thru to try and be normal. These are like ongoing practice to become more loose, but I'm tired and wrung out and I havent yet (I think) got on to a nip or twist as I go - it's not in me yet.
NEW PEOPLE IN ART IN “MEMORIES”, IN THIS JOURNAL, WHICH I HAVE DIVIDED INTO HEADINGS: RECIPES, PHOTOS, TOPICS ETC… YOU WOULD FIND (UNDER TOPICS) MY IDEAS ABOUT ART. AGAIN, MY FEELINGS ARE THAT TODAY IS A BIT NOT LIKE THE PAST, WHERE THERE WERE JUST ONE OR SEVERAL NAME ARTISTS THAT MADE IT TO “THE TOP.” [THAT WERE CONSIDERED HISTORIC. AND MAINLY THIS HAPPENED AFTER THE ARTISTS WERE ALL DEAD.] I JUST THINK THAT ONGOING EVOLUTION OF ALL PEOPLE HAS CHANGED THIS IN THE BABY BOOM GENERATION (MAYBE BEYOND, I DON’T KNOW ) AND IN THIS GENERATION (WORLD WIDE) THERE ARE MANY MORE PEOPLE THAT FEEL QUALIFIED TO BE PART OF THIS. I DON’T MEAN SECONDARY STANDING RIGHT UNDER THE TOP PEOPLE, I MEAN ALL STANDING EQUAL.(SOME PEOPLE MAY FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH A TOP TO BOTTOM HIERARCHY.THEY COULD HAVE THEIR OWN PART.)
(QUALIFIED (?)) YOU WOULD PROBABLY HAVE TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS, BUT IF YOU’RE AN ACCOUNTANT, BIKER, FACTORY WORKER, FARMER, UNABLE TO WORK, ETC YOU COULD CONTRIBUTE PICTURES OR A BODY OF WORK TO IT. NOT NECESSARILY WOULD YOU HAVE HAD TO DEVOTE EVERY WAKING MINUTE TO ART IN YOUR PAST LIFE. BUT SOMEHOW, YOU WOULD NEED TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT, HAVE STUDIED (ON YOUR OWN TIME OR IN COLLEGE OR COURSES) THE FINE ARTS. FELT THAT SOME OF WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN IN MAGAZINES, TELEVISION, MOVIE BACKDROPS, PAST ART HISTORY, MUSEUMS, AND THE INTERNET WAS IMPORTANT AND A PART OF ALL AND WAS A VALID HUMAN ENDEAVOR . THAT THE FINE EDGE ATTRACTED YOU, RELAXED YOU, CALLED YOU. YOU FELT ART/PHOTOGRAPHY WAS PART OF YOU, AND BENEFICIAL AND SIGNIFICANT TO THE WORLD, YOU WANTED TO TRY AND EXPRESS YOURSELF IN IT. (THIS COULD APPLY TO THE OTHER ARTS AS WELL.) BECAUSE YOU NEED A STRUCTURE OR GOVERNMENT SO ALL ARE SAFE AND FED. NOT ANYONE ON A JOY RIDE WHO WANTS TO TEAR DOWN EVERYTING WOULD BE GOOD TO GET IN. I DON’T WANT ANARCHY.
MANY PEOPLE SEE ART, WALK AWAY AND GO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. NATURE MAKES THE ART AND SHE WILL NEVER HAVE ANY EQUAL IN IT. (MAYBE WE SHOULD PLACE HER AS TOP ARTIST!) (GET AWAY FROM YOUR VILLAGE OR CITY INTO OR BY A NATURAL TYPE OF FIELD OR WOOD AND YOU ARE SUDDENLY SURROUNDED BY FINENESS! I’M THINKING OUR PRE-HISTORIC ANCESTORS SOMETIMES HAD TO BET THEIR LIVES ON MAKING DECISIONS ABOUT THIS FINENESS THAT ALWAYS SURROUNDED THEM. FINE ART IS A PART OF US.) SO DON’T FEEL SO ODD THAT YOU LIKE FINE ART. I DO NOT FEEL LIKE I AM BETTER THAN PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE ART OR THAT THEY NEVER SEE IT. THEY PROBABLY HAVE MORE OF IT INSIDE THEM. BUT I FEEL THAT I AM COMPELLED TO MAKE IT OR COPY IT. I DON’T WANT TO WALK AWAY AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. IN THE PAST ART SEEMED TO BE A POINTER TOWARDS A SAFER BETTER LIFE FOR ALL. TODAY MAYBE IT IS STILL A POINTER OR A KIND OF STATUS QUO. I DON’T KNOW. I FEEL MOST OF US LIKE IT BEING AROUND EVEN IF MOST DON’T SPEND A LOT OF TIME VIEWING IT.
SO I FEEL MORE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE TO DO FINE ART TODAY AND THEY GET REALLY MAD WHEN THEY SEE OTHERS BEING SET UP NOW TO BE THE “HISTORIC ARTISTS” OF THEIR TIME. THINK ABOUT THIS. IS THERE ANYTHING RECORDED ABOUT THE NON PICKS OF VINCENT VAN GOGH’S TIME OR THE IMPRESSIONISTS? DID THEY GET MAD AND START A REVOLT OR DID THEY JUST GO BACK AND SMOKE A BUTT AND DECIDE THEY WERE NOT GOING TO DEGRADE THEMSELVES BY BEING PART OF SOMETHING SO STANDUP AND STUPID AND UNGROUNDED? THEY DIDN’T GET MAD ENOUGH TO START MARCHING. THEY DIDN’T COMMIT SUICIDE OR HAVE SERIOUS LIFE LONG DEPRESSION BECAUSE OF IT, THEY HAD THEIR LIFE ANYWAY. WILL YOU? WILL YOU NOT FEEL DEEPLY JILTED WHEN YOU SEE OTHERS PUT UP TO BE HISTORIC? OR WILL YOU FEEL THAT THEY ARE BETTER IN ART AND SHOULD BE THE ONLY ONES IN THAT SPOT. (TOP ARTISTS IN THE PAST HAD EVERYTHING TOGETHER IN THEM, I FEEL NOW THAT EACH PERSON IS GOOD AT AND CARRIES PARTS OF WHAT ONCE WAS A WHOLE.) THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME FEEL THAT THIS THING IS DIFFERENT NOW. YOU DO BELONG IN A GROUP OF PEOPLE REPRESENTING THIS. IT IS NOT ENVY. WE NATURALLY BELONG IN IT BECAUSE NATURALLY, ONGOING EVOLUTION HAS CHANGED MORE PEOPLE INTO THE FINE ARTS. WHAT REALLY WORRIES ME IS THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN THE ARTS ARE DOING VERY FINE THINGS INSIDE THEIR OWN VOCATION AND DO NOT FEEL THAT THEY, OR WHAT THEY ARE DOING WILL RECEIVE THE SAME IMPORTANCE AS THE ARTS. TO THAT I CAN SAY…WE DIDN’T GET OR STAY HERE BY ART ALONE. IN FACT MOST HUMAN ENDEAVOR IN THE PAST AND PRESENT IS NOT, OR EVER WAS IN THE ARTS. ART WAS DONE ONLY WHEN THERE WAS ENOUGH FOOD IN CERTAIN STOMACHS. SOME IMPORTANCE WAS PROBABLY ATTACHED TO DEFENSE, FOOD, MEDICINE THOUGH. (WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MILLIONS OF YEARS. RECORDED HISTORY IS JUST THE LAST MINUTE OR SO.) SO MAYBE THE PYRAMID WITH ART& MUSIC ETC …AT THE TOP SHOULD BE LOOKED AT DIFFERENTLY NOW. SO KEEP ON WITH YOUR ART ENDEAVORS OR START SOME. YOUR “HOBBY” COULD BECOME PART OF ART HISTORY. THERE IS ROOM NOW! THIS IS MY THEORY.
I’M NOT SAYING THIS IS THE WAY IT IS. ONLY MY IDEAS I’VE THOUGHT UP. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH OTHERS AND GET OTHER POINTS OF VIEW! IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES ARTISTS MAY NOT EVEN HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET OR SCANNING OR DIGITAL CAMERAS TO EVEN HAVE AN INTERNET SITE, NOT EVEN TO MENTION THEY DON’T EAT ENOUGH!!!! I DON’T KNOW. ALSO I HAVE PUT UP SOME ( MAYBE NOT) REALLY CHERRY SUBJECT MATTER ARTWORK IN THIS JOURNAL. I DON’T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO PUT,OR HOW, OR BELONG TO ANY GROUP. I DON’T KNOW WHERE. I COULD PUT UP MORE, OR EVEN RUN LATEST PHOTOS OR DRAWINGS, BUT I’VE KEPT IT DOWN. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. SO THOSE ARE MY FEELINGS.
Would like to share a digitally edited picture, too tired from working to work on it. Maybe….
Have you seen some latest shows on TV. Can you seen how well some camera or editing can project the images. I’m so hurt I can’t have that too. Have you seen? The quality and resolution of some shots! It’s not every shot, they even differentiate within the program! It’s not just the quality. The camera shots are toned. Some machinery is so equipped to phrase anything in a refined subtle beauty. Shooting anything…poop, dirt, garbage, will look beautiful with this treatment. It is so refined and wraps around any object, dresses it, completely a tuned and constructed to enhancing images . And their warping! They have some of the most sophisticated and really varied warping I have ever seen! And you only see this for a split second on screen. I mean drag back into your world knowledge…a tree in a field…you must know, if you think about it, how this must really look. And compare that with what you are seeing right in front of you. They warp and nothing is blurred over, it is as sharp as it was to begin with! And the warping must be so easy to set up the specific map for that composition. And I sit there for hours trying to get something warped and it is degraded after. There is my picture, flat, thick, square and studentish looking no matter what I do. You have to have this stuff they have, if you want to turn out refined digital fine art. Why can’t I know about it or why can’t I get it? They are not the only artists around. I realize a TV program must have certain characteristics inherent to flow the program for everyone, but why do fine artists get left behind. I have put so much work (and money) into learning digital art and photography and I still get left behind. Maybe some would say, well not yet do we have this, but everyone can read this into everyone’s work. Look beyond and see how good it would look. Maybe. I still get mad, they are parading this around and no one else can have it. You see it once on TV and then no one is interested in yours. I don’t know how they are doing it. Shooting it with normal professional cameras and in the editing equipment they change it around. I really don’t even know if even my camera could look way better than it does. I can’t afford 20,000 lens or a digital med format back. I don’t know if I even need it. Only once when I was in another town’s library and asked to get on the best computer for fine art photographs did I ever see my work looking better. There was no warping, but it was handled just by this specific screen much better. All of a sudden anything I looked at that I had done started singing. Really looked good. This actually was better looking than any Apple Retina Display that I have seen recent…but maybe I’m not seeing that as well as it can be seen. Some people are way better at looking into the whole situation and seeing beyond what is shown in front of you, knowing just what is possible. I am not. I want to do good work. I have pictures. But with all the money I’ve spent so far, I still feel I need way more and better equipment to work at as much and as varied as I want to. I really don’t want to keep doing the same thing over and over. I like my filters, I don’t have enough, and I bet anymore money I spend will get me more “consumer” fair. They are lacking in outlining. It is a pain to warp. Why can’t something be set up in advance you can adjust? Warping degrades the picture in my world. I got finer looking things by drawing myself sometimes. It’s all kept under wraps. Seems like when something of quality is available, it is all understood by some, just when and for how long the quality versions of this model will be available. How do I know even what model I need! And I should also know when I need to buy it and from where! This all makes me mad. I always end up on the tail end. I don’t like that. I keep trying to fix and work on something and it just won’t come through as I want. And then you see just what you want your editing to be on TV and can’t get it. I don’t think others have as much of a problem as I do sometimes. It’s getting me down. And I do love to draw, photograph and edit. It’s the only place I feel at home and can always have an intellectual challenge at.I don't want to make it seem I'm not grateful for what I have! The program I have does most everything, a massive amount. It does tons of things and I never have a problem. It has costed, but not thousands like I was talking about and I am really grateful for this program. Should count my blessings for what I have. It's horrible to be talking about things like this when some people around the world find it hard to get enough to eat. I myself can eat about 1/8 of what is in the grocery store. I either can't eat it or it is too expensive. So I am ashamed of that. Also the television programs I am getting this from are most of what I am watching. What I want to watch. I love them. I would not know what to do without it. I just don't like to see editing I can't get my hands on. To be sitting infont of the screen and know what could be and you can't do it. Maybe I ask too much from digital photo editing, but not according to TV.
I’M WORKING ALONE. IDON'T FEEL GOOD. I'M GETTING GOOD STUFF DONE. NOT SO BLINDFOLDED AS I WAS, BUT IT ONLY TAKES ONE OVERSIGHT TO SET ME BACK IN WORK. I HAVE TO BE REALISTIC ABOUT THIS PHOTO INDEX PLAN BUILDING, AND ME. SOMETHING MAY BE BOUND TO GO WRONG. I CAN'T SEE 100% TO ALL THE DETAILS. THE WAY I HAVE WORKED TO DO IT, IS SEEING ME TO MOST OF THEM THOUGH. I HOPE THE PROBLEM THAT I MIGHT MISS WILL NOT SET ME BACK MUCH. I STILL HAVE ONE LAST LARGE PASS AHEAD AND PLENTY OF "TO DO" BEFORE HAND. THAT ROOM IS GETTING TO ME. ALWAYS IN IT. THEN IF SOME DETAIL IS MISSING I GET SO BUMMED OUT. LIKE, I CAN'T FIND MY SPACE AMOUNT LIST, REAL FAST FOR MY PHOTO FOLDERS...WHY IS IT NOT AT MY FINGERTIPS? WHY CAN'T I THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE DONE? ... BECAUSE I'M SO TIRED AND WANT RELIEF. I SAVED REVISIONS TO A SET OF DOCUMENTS ON ONE THUMB AND THEN START MORE REVISIONS TO ANOTHER SAVE!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FISH OUT THOSE 1ST CHANGES TO PUT ON THE 2ND. THANK GOD THERE WAS NOT VERY MUCH. I GO WAY OUT INTO THE FAR REACHES WITH SOME ASPECTS OF THIS, BUT THEN SLUMP AND SO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MARCH! Sorry, I have no new background. I have makeup stuff, but I’m so into working on the photography catalog structure I have not any time. No blocks yet. But I’ve never worked on something that is so big and stately. You make progress, but it is at an average speed. Not slow, but not fast, and I’m used to hitting patches that are open and go faster. This, so far, has not had many of those. Happy warmer weather! If it gets cold, winter is still losing it’s grip!
very tired
APRIL 1, 2016 Sorry I wasn’t here for Easter.Tired, busy.I’m done with all my application notes!Whewwww!That was a big one.Now I’m on my To Dos.After I go thru papers…Before, During, After….I just got all the leaves to the street. I don’t have little piles.I was ripping off dead branches and fell over.Nothing was hurt.The big jobs are almost over. I didn’t make it here to put up the suggestion ofBeef & Noodles.Great recipie, maybe a little late.How about Chocolate Pie, or buy one!I had a piece over Easter!Yummmmmmmmmmmm!There is a site:www.cooksillustrated.com It’s pay, but you can see the listing names free and get ideas.These are more money per dish, but if your looking for something special sometime, they have good recipes.
MERRY CHRISTMAS WORKING HARD AT MY JOB, NO TIME. HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
DID EVERYONE HAVE A GOOD NEW YEAR, OR PASSING ONE? I HAD A PARTY TO GO TO, BUT I WORKED AND I COULDN'T MUSTER ANYMORE AND WORK THE NEXT DAY, BUT I HAVE ANOTHER GATHERING. I DON'T MIND WORKING OVER THE HOLIDAYS.HAS ANYONE BEEN WATCHING TWILIGHT ZONE??? EVERY EPISODE IN ORDER!! I HAVE SEEN MANY I JUST REMEMBER SEEING ONE TIME AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT CAME OUT. GREAT TO SLEEP TO ALSO. I HAVE TO WHIP MYSELF TO SET THE SLEEP TIMER. I DON'T FEEL GREAT, BUT HOPE REST WILL HELP. MY PHOTO ORGANIZING IS SHORING UP. STILL GOT STUFF. IT'S LIKE I HAVE WORK, BUT I DON'T 100% KNOW HOW MUCH. I'VE BREACHED PROBLEMS (SOME MYSELF) AND LUCKED OUT ON ANOTHER PROBLEM. THERE ARE (SO FAR) A FEW MORE. MY NOTES ARE NOW REALLY CONDENSED AND NOT I CAN PLACE THEM INTELLIGENTLY. I'M GLAD NOW I DID THIS THE LONG WAY. IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I HAVE BACKUP. SORRY NO PICS HERE YET. I'VE TAKEN SOME, BUT NOT ENOUGH TIME. RIGHT NOW I HAVE MY CAR INSURANCE PAID FOR.
KNITTED MITTENS
PATTERN MAKES PLAIN, WOMAN’S MEDIUM HAND SIZE MITTENS. 4OZ. 4 PLY YARN 1 PR #3 & #5 KNITTING NEEDLES KNITTING MARKERS & STITCH HOLDER (CAN SUBSTITUTE) GUAGE = 5 STS AND 8 ROWS = 1 INCH
BEGIN WITH SMALL NEEDLES CAST ON 38 STITCHES. [CHANGE TO LARGER NEEDLES WHEN DONE WITH THE K1, P1 RIBBING OF THE WRIST] (THE 1ST ROW OR TWO SHOULD BE AS TIGHT AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY KNIT AND STILL GET IT KNITTED). FORGET ABOUT THE SLIGHTLY SNUG GUAGE YOU SHOULD BE KNITTING WITH ALL THE TIME. THIS MITTEN EDGE AT THE START OF THE WRIST SHOULD NOT FLARE OUT, BUT IN. THAT IS WHY YOU KNIT TIGHT HERE. THEN AFTER KNITTING TIGHT THE FIRST OR SECOND ROW, START SHIFTING TOWARD GUAGE (SLIGHTLY SNUG). DON’T JUST BREAK AND LOOSEN YOUR GUAGE ALL AT ONCE THOUGH.
WRIST
TO BEGIN MITTEN, CAST ON 38 STITCHES. K 1 (KNIT ONE STITCH), P 1 (PURL ONE STITCH) REPEATING THIS ALL ACROSS 1ST ROW. REPEAT THIS 1ST ROW (DOING THE SAME TO THE NEXT ROW AND NEXT…) IN K1 P1 RIBBING UNTIL 1 ½ INCHES IS REACHED, OR DESIRED LENGTH FOR THE WRIST PORTION OF THE MITTEN.
HAND
WHEN 1 ½ INCHES HAS BEEN REACHED K 1 K 1 K 1 K 1…(KNIT ONE STITCH, KNIT NEXT STITCH, KNIT NEXT STITCH…ALL ACROSS THE NEXT ROW. KNIT EVERY STITCH. (THIS WILL START THE HAND PART. THIS WILL BE THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE MITTEN. [THE OUTSIDE OF THE MITTEN, THE SIDE YOU SEE WHEN THE MITTEN IS ON YOUR HAND.) 2ND ROW P 1 P 1 P 1 P 1…(PURL ONE STITCH, PURL NEXT STITCH, PURL NEXT STITCH…ALL ACROSS THIS 2ND ROW. PURL EVERY STITCH. (THIS WILL BE THE WRONG SIDE. [THE INSIDE SIDE OF THE MITTEN WHEN IT FINALLY IS STITCHED UP.]
WORK IN THIS PATTERN: K1 ROW AND THEN P1 ROW FOR 6 MORE ROWS, ENDING WITH A PURL ROW. (8 ROWS IN ALL.) (IF YOU CAN, IN THE 8TH PURL ROW, TIGHTEN A BIT, THE MIDDLE TWO STITCHES.
THUMB GUSSET AND MITTEN
NEXT ROW (ROW 1) (THIS IS THE RIGHT SIDE) KNIT ACROSS 18 STITCHES (MEANING KNIT EVERY STITCH FOR 18 STITCHES. THEN PLACE MARKER ON NEEDLE. (KNITTING MARKERS, THAT I KNOW OF, ARE SMALL PLASTIC RINGS IN DIFFERENT SIZES AND COLORS, JUST FOR THIS PURPOSE. I DON’T KNOW IF THEY STILL SELL THEM NOW. YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TWO SUBSTITUTE SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE DIFFERENT COLORED YARN TIED IN A SMALL RING THERE. DON’T LET IT BECOME LOST IN THE STITCHES. JUST SLIP THE RING OVER THE KNITTING NEEDLE AND THEN CONTINUE KNITTING. SO AS I SAID…KNIT ACROSS 18 STITCHES, SLIP ON A MARKER, AND THEN INCREASE TO KNIT IN THE NEXT TWO STITCHES, AND SLIP IN ANOTHER MARKER. [MEANING NOW THERE WILL BE 4 STITCHES BETWEEN THE MARKERS INSTEAD OF 2]. {YOU INCREASE TO KNIT ON THE FIRST ORIGINAL STITCH (MAKING TWO) AND INCREASE TO KNIT ON THE SECOND ORIGINAL STITCH (MAKING TWO), SO THEN THERE WOULD BE 4 STITCHES BETWEEN THE MARKERS. NOT 2.} (TIGHTEN THESE INCREASES A BIT)
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO INCREASE TO KNIT. MAYBE AN WEB VIDEO OR ASK SOMEONE WHO KNOWS, TO SHOW YOU. TO DO THESE MITTENS YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW TO KNIT AND PURL AND KNIT IN A SOMEWHAT STEADY GUAGE. GUAGE MEANS THE LOOSENESS OR TIGHTNESS OF HOW YOU KNIT. DECREASING IS EASIER IN THIS PATTERN. PRACTICE KNITTING AND PURLING FIRST FOR AWHILE IF YOU ARE NEW.
SO NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE 4 STITCHES BETWEEN THE MARKERS. THEN KNIT THE REST OF THE STITCHES IN THIS ROW. NEXT ROW (ROW 2) PURL ACROSS WHOLE ROW. ROW 3 KNIT 18 STITCHES, SLIP MARKER TO OTHER KNITTING NEEDLE – INCREASE 1 STITCH TO KNIT, KNIT THE NEXT 2 STITCHES AS USUAL, INCREASE THE NEXT STITCH TO KNIT, SLIP OTHER MARKER TO OTHER NEEDLE, THEN KNIT AS USUAL THE REMAINING 18 STITCHES. [6 STITCHES BETWEEN MARKERS] ROW 4 PURL ACROSS ROW
REPEAT ROWS 3 AND 4 UNTIL THERE ARE 18 STITCHES BETWEEN THE MARKERS,… ENDING WITH A KNIT ROW.
NEXT ROW PURL ACROSS THE FIRST 19 STITCHES, DROPPING THE FIRST MARKER RING (TAKE IT OFF NEEDLE AND PUT DOWN ON THE TABLE OR SOMETHING.) NOW REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE THIS RING WAS AMONG THE STITCHES!!! AND PLACE THE NEXT 16 STITCHES FROM WHERE THE RING WAS ON A STITCH HOLDER. [TAKE OFF THE STITCHES ONE BY ONE CAREFULLY FROM THE KNITTING NEEDLE AND PUT THEM ON SAFETY PIN [A STITCH HOLDER CAN JUST AS WELL BE A BIG SAFETY PIN.] BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO LOSE A STITCHI DON’T KNOW HOW TO CHASE AND RETRIEVE A STITCH THAT UNKNOTS DOWN THRU THE KNITTING. THERE PROBABLY IS A WAY. YOU DON’T WANT TO GO CHASING A SLIPPED STITCH. GET THE 16 STITCHES ON THE STITCH HOLDER (SAFETY PIN) AND CLOSE THE SAFETY PIN IN IT’S GUARD. WHEW! THEY ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NOW. THIS IS THE START OF THE THUMB.
THEN DROP THE LAST MARKER AND PURL ACROSS THE REMAINING 19 STITCHES. GET THE KNITTING TIGHT TO CROSS THIS GAP!!!!!!! 38 STITCHES ON NEEDLE (DON’T COUNT THE HOLDER STITCHES). KNIT NEXT ROW ACROSS PURL NEXT ROW ACROSS CONTINUE THIS PATTERN (KNIT ONE ROW, PURL THE NEXT)UNTIL MITTEN MEASURES 1 – 1/2 INCH LESS THAN DESIRED LENGTH (TOP OF FINGERS), ENDING WITH A PURL ROW. [TO MEASURE STICK THUMB THRU START OF THUMB AND MEASURE.]
NEXT ROW - KNIT 2 STITCHES TOGETHER [FOR A DECREASE] (JUST TREAT TWO STITCHES TOGETHER AS ONE {STICK NEEDLE THRU BOTH} AND KNIT THAT.) THEN KNIT 3 STITCHES AS USUAL. REPEAT THIS ALL THE WAY ACROSS THIS ROW ENDING WITH KNIT ONE STITCH. PURL ACROSS THE NEXT ROW. NEXT ROW KNIT TWO STITCHES TOGETHER AND THEN KNIT 2 STITCHES AS USUAL, AND REPEAT THAT, ENDING WITH KNIT 2 TOGETHER. PURL ACROSS THE NEXT ROW NEXT ROW K2 TOGETHER AND KNIT ONE STITCH AS USUAL, AND REPEAT THAT ACROSS ENDING WITH KNIT 2.
LEAVE A LONG LENGTH OF YARN (WHICH IS STILL ATTACHED TO YOUR KNITTING PIECE. CUT THE OTHER END (NEAREST TO SKEIN) AND THREAD THRU A LARGE YARN NEEDLE. (CAN BE A VERY LARGE CURVED SEWING NEEDLE OR SOMETHING – YARN MUST FIT THROUGH IT’S HOLE.) AND THREAD THIS THROUGH THE REMAINING STITCHES AT TOP – PULL TIGHT. CAN TAKE THESE TOP THREADED STITCHES OFF THE NEEDLE NOW OR BEFORE, BUT BE CAREFUL NOT TO LOSE STITCHES BEFORE YOU GET THE YARN THREADED THROUGH THEM.
PICKING UP THE REST OF THE THUMB
PICK UP THE 16 STITCHES FROM THE HOLDER. (MOVE THEM FROM HOLDER PIN TO KNITTING NEEDLE) ATTACH YARN (LEAVE LENGTH) AND WORK IN STOCKINETTE STITCH UNTIL THUMB MEASURES ¼ INCH LESS THAN DESIRED LENGTH OF THUMB, ENDING WITH A PURL ROW. (STOCKINETTE STITCH IS KNIT ONE ROW, PURL ONE ROW. I GUESS HERE YOU WOULD START WITH A KNIT ROW. CAN’T REMEMBER – IF IT DOESN’T MATCH UP WITH PREVIOUS KNITTING, PULL OUT ROW OR ROWS [HOW MANY YOU HAVE STARTED TO KNIT AFTER ATTACHING YARN] AND START WITH THE OTHER PURL ROW)
NEXT ROW K2 TOGETHER, K2 AS USUAL, REPEAT ACROSS NEXT ROW PURL ACROSS NEXT ROW K2 TOGETHER, K1 AS USUAL, REPEAT ACROSS
LEAVE A LENGTH OF YARN AS ABOVE AND DRAW STITCHES TOGETHER WITH KNITTING NEEDLE. REAL TIGHT (DON’T WANT A HOLE IN THE TOP OF THE THUMB! OR IN THE TOP OF THE MITTEN!)
NOW TURN MITTEN INSIDE OUT TO STITCH THE SIDES TOGETHER. THAT IS, HAVE THE WRONG SIDE [SIDE THAT IS USUALLY INSIDE AND TOUCHES YOUR HAND] ON THE OUTSIDE. AND USING MORE YARN STITCH THE FREE SIDES TOGETHER ON THE MITTEN AND ON THE THUMB. SEW THE SEAMS. [THE RIGHT SIDE LOOKS LIKE VERTICAL V ROWS AND THE WRONG SIDE LOOKS LIKE HORIZONTAL CHAINS.] THERE MAY BE A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS, AS TO THE SEWING – I DIDN’T GET THAT FAR. DON’T DO IT TOO LOOSE (SNUG) AND TRY TO NOT MAKE STITCHING SHOW AFTER YOU ARE FINISHED (TIE KNOTS AT BOTH ENDS TO HOLD AND FINALLY CUT YARN) THEN TURN FINISHED MITTEN INSIDE OUT AGAIN SO THE RIGHT SIDE IS ON THE OUTSIDE. WHEN YOU SEW THE SEAMS DON’T STITCH TOO DEEP IN. STITCH AS CLOSE TO THE EDGES AS YOU CAN SO THE FINISHED MITTEN IS NOT TOO NARROW FOR YOUR HAND WHEN YOU TURN IT INSIDE OUT. MAKE SURE THE TOP OF THE MITTEN AND TOP OF THUMB ARE SEWN SNUG TO TIGHT SO THEY DON’T DEVELOP HOLES. HOLES CAN ALSO DEVELOP WHERE THE START OF THE THUMB IS SEWN TOGETHER AND TO THE HAND.
INCREASE CAST ON STITCHES PROPORTIONALLY TO KNIT A BIGGER MITTEN, OR SEE ONLINE ADVICE. USING ONE SKEIN PER MITTEN PRODUCES A THINNER MITTEN. AGAIN, AS USUAL, BUY THE BEST YARN YOU CAN GET. I USE THESE AS CASUAL LIGHT MITTENS OR LINERS FOR OTHER MITTENS. IF YOU WANT A WARMER DENSER LOOKING MITTEN USE THE YARNS OF TWO SKEINS TOGETHER AS ONE STRAND WHILE KNITTING. DON’T NEED TO TWIST THE TWO TOGETHER. JUST PULL OUT THE TWO TOGETHER FROM THEIR SKEINS AT THE SAME TIME AND USE BOTH COMING TOGETHER AS ONE YARN. KNITTING TAKES A BIT OF TIME, YOU NEED TO KNIT TWO MITTENS! HA! SO PLAN AHEAD AND GET GOOD YARN IN THE BEST COLOR. YOU DON’T NEED TO KNIT ONLY WITH ONE COLOR IF USING TWO SKEINS OR YOU CAN CUT OFF ONE COLOR AND ATTACH A DIFFERENT COLOR TO MAKE BANDS AS YOU GO. NICE TO PASS DOWN THIS CRAFT. I’M REALLY NOT THE ONE TO DO IT! YOU CAN KNIT SOCKS, SWEATERS, HATS, SHAWLS, AND SCARFS ETC…SEE THE INTERNET FOR PATTERNS. NICE TO DO DURING THE DEAD OF WINTER IF YOU HAVE TIME. I HAD TIME IN COLLEGE! MY ROOMMATE TAUGHT ME THIS!
MAKING UP A BACKGROUND PICTURE IS ONE THING, BUT PLACING IT IN HERE PERFECTLY IS OUT OF MY REALM – I JUST DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO GO BACK AND EVERY MONITOR CAN BE DIFFERENT IN THE LIBRARY! THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE, I WISH IT WAS! I WENT TO A KNITTING GROUP LAST NIGHT AND NOW I REMEMBER HOW TO KNIT AND PURL AND INCREASE TO KNIT. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I DID ANYTHING. I’M LUCKY I FOUND THE PATTERN, THE ORIGINAL ONE THAT MY ROOMMATE WROTE DOWN! I DON’T HAVE TIME TO KNIT BECAUSE OF MY PHOTO ORGANIZING. I’M NOW ON MY LAST EVER DOCUMENTS MAKEUP. I HAVE TO GO THROUGH TOPICS ON WRITTEN DOWN PAPERS AND TYPE IT OUT AND/OR SHIFT PERTINENT INFORMATION TO OTHERS. WHEN THIS IS DONE AND I LOOK IT OVER…THEN I CAN BEGIN SOME TO DO’s AND THEN PUT MY PHOTOS IN THE PROGRAM! AND THERE WILL BE HANGUP PROBLEMS. I JUST DON’T HAVE ANYONE TO CALL QUICK. A PROBLEM IS MOSTLY A DAY OR HALF OF WORK TO GET IT ACROSS ANYWAY. GLAD, NOW THERE ARE NOT MANY OF THOSEJ HOPE THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS NOW THAT WILL STOP ME DEAD IN MY TRACKS, SHORT OF THE PROGRAM NOT WORKING! IT’S NICE NOW BECAUSE MUCH INFO AND QUESTIONS I HAVE FORGOTTEN ARE ALL LAID OUT ON PAPER. THINGS ARE MATCHING UP. BUT I’M STILL CAUTIOUS, I HAVE TO REIN MYSELF IN.
PINEAPPLE & COTTAGE CHEESE! B^) PUT ON A BRIGHT LIGHT!
drifting into fall. i've been drawing. blank / blank Will the baby boomers ever know about other intellegent life elsewhere? Maybe not. So, there is space for many many many of us to be recorded into history, why can't we write them letters? Kind of wacky, but finding life out there is more apt than intelligent, so why not? They have to be really intelligent, so fire away! My car battery went dead and i am just kind of waiting on leaves. Wow, i like getting outside and working for a day, but reporting it in here is funny! I'm ready for a friends night out somewhere far from here, and i mean different, city or wilderness.
10/11/15The Mammoth. I'm sure there are other animals that are dead we would like to see. Dinosaurs...some...they are/were so vital. But those Mammoth herds, so straight, depth and love, so sweet, kind, loving. I don't seet how we could have killed them (hunger). I miss them, and it was so close. Wish they were around.
10/16/15Think of all the people who strived and strived and did historic works, risked their lives, and built built, delved, endlessly studied, constantly went the extra mile to better everyone. (Yes they piged out.)They worked so hard, hoped people would remember them, remember what they did. Then their predecessor came along and went further, did more, made it grander!Everyone forgot about them and the past.The strange, stupid, littler, past.In my mind, my thinking, the people in the past had less than we have to begin with.What we are just born with! (I have ideas on human evolution.) So shouldn’t we look more at what people in the past and ancient past had to work with (or the lack of it) to determine what they achieved. Find everyone just as great in what they accomplished with what they had.You can’t say we are greater, since we are going to the Moon and Mars, than people in the past.What they did, with what they had , many times, could be greater than we have accomplished today!Give these people their due!Do not erase their names, glorify them! Remember them as your friends. (You might meet in heaven!)Now, I do believe in ongoing evolution of man and today it is my belief that many more people, all over the world, are like this.Even some that are working in factories.Our mindset is slightly different.It’s all just different.I mean, aren’t you the ones watching the History programs, just glued to every word ect...!This means something. Because I don't think the middle and lower classes of yesteryear gave too much of a dam. I didn’t say all people today are like this, but many more. If your getting pissed because you are supposed to act just like a factory worker all of the time, I don't know! Don't break the law, take up painting, ask why you can't actually see digs at Herculaneum, take classes...You may have much to contrubute, and I don't think it will be left behind.
I mean, what are we going to look like to ET when he gets here!How smart are we going to seem! [“Oh the past is valued at nothing, especially the ancient past!” They invented beer!Wow! Gone there, done that!]This way of thinking would not get high marks in philosophy!
And not the stinking lawn. Maybe in a few days:)
10/30/15 LEAVES LEAVES LEAVES! Thoughts on Paganism. Ancient religion, many gods, sacrificing animals…etc. The part I am concerned about is the worship of many Gods vs. One God. Generally speaking, most people today, who worshop God, worship one god. Generally speaking, in ancient times, people worshiped many gods. We today, have kind of been led to believe that religion really started with the worship of one god. That, somehow, Pagan beliefs were wrong and evil. In my mind, we have just recorded in ancient history the end of the Pagan religions, when they, maybe, were, corrupt, and about to go out. Yeah, worshiping multiple gods seems strange to us and sacrificing animals and our own kind seems like evil incarnate!
But when you look at how long people worshiped with Pagan religions it gets more interesting. Again, my whole idea about this is evolution. People in ancient times were Different from us. I mean everyone alive at the time…everyone. They really didn’t have what we are born with. They didn’t have as much advanced knowledge as we, and they (in my thinking) were not capable, as much yet, of having it. Their brains were formed as modern man, but not yet of processing at such a sophisticated run. Their thinking was more rooty. Their brain was more rooty. They only were this. They only were born like this. They only had past rooty history tales. Their root senses was the whole of them. Their body’s senses was all they had. So God flowered out! The wind was a God, the sun was a God, Summer was a God, jealousy was a God, etc… It was natural to worship Gods like this! God split himself into many! So what! The important thing was they worshiped God, in any form. I just think of Paganism as the parent of the One God of most today’s relgions. I don’t see it as separate. These ancient people did the best they could. I’m sure they could come up with finer things than we at this level. We can get ourselves to the Moon & Mars, they could not. How could they sacrifice their own most valued people? Their children! Pretty hard for us to take. We hate them for this. If you were living in this kind of world, with this kind of brain, with little history, and the sky and world were throwing things at you that no one understood, you would be scared that no one might live. Give something precious, to show your reverence, and maybe these entries that are controlling things will find favor with you. It’s the only way. They did the best they could. They led good lives, maybe shorter, but maybe sweeter. I don’t see paganism as the junk we came from, but a sweet (different) religion. God is looking at you with many faces
BLACK HOLES !Black Holes – Wow really eerie. I do believe there is some, or all fundamental cornerstone (or only stone) of the universe there…something connected also with the Big Bang! Who could see at the event hole before they were destroyed! You know, what is the universe? Maybe this is a bummer but every living thing seems to burn energy, like all the suns. Are we just containers to burn energy? This is very blank thinking. My Dad once said, “Maybe we are all just inside someone’s table leg.” Maybe we are all inside someone’s body? Gods? And my depressing thought…Why does there have to BE anything? Why is there matter, why does there have to be matter, or anything like space, galaxies? WHY IS ANYTHING THERE AT ALL, WHY DOES ANYTHING HAVE TO BE THERE. It is there (or our reality of it) so this leads me to believe there are rules of physics. Maybe so hard to know we will never understand all of it the farther we go, or towards the end. Maybe the reason is, when you get closer to the ending answer, knowledge is not part of the equation, the ending answer is the only thing from anything!!!!!! It is the only thing. We can never know it because it is the only thing. (Sounds like God). Time stops, everything stops but only this. And I have another depressing thought. Now I really don’t know what I am talking about but maybe when all the Black Holes that are everywhere have eaten as much as they can hold, another Big Bang happens! Just thoughts about the universe. We, then, would be in the same boat with any other intelligent life out there.
I'm running at both ends, and yes I did have a problem about a week ago, but mostly doing so much. Deer babies are just at the age now they want to see what this "thing" is doing....geeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm working but I finally settled on paint for the house and I found cheap garden gloves. I did have two pairs, but missing a mate and the other have no fingers. You don't realize how long that took. Of course I had to look at other stuff - I need to. I have to see how far a snow rake goes up. The front is still taped and waiting for paint. I hope I can get the tape off. It's been there a month +
Why is it, when you think you have gotten a part of a computer program all thought out and you change one little thing in another program (when the two have to cross) the first doesn't work. I've spent hours retesting on something I know nothing about! It's comical. I use the little knowledge I do know trying to get major division questions answered for the people to ask. I'm proud of that, but I can know so little behind the scenes. I've re-tested and re-tested and finally I came up with this convoluted solution that makes you jump through about eight hoops. I works on two or three pictures. I still have to know about 40-50! It's like being in a battle. You make progress and then you get set back. The past two days have been ...your getting it...your getting it...your getting it...no that won't work! What I thought was going to take time, so far, is nothing, what I thought was worked out, is a dead end. I am getting the program rounded up a little. There will be more time, I may not do it. But if this program does not work as it should after I have done all this work, that's probably another story. It should. I'm telling you, I have been so careful and have taken so many notes. I still have to be careful and take some time before I act. It's almost like I welcome getting outside and working in the yard. I'm at a patch where I can't do computer work outside. If I had money, that would be different. I miss being out. Well the paint is ready. I have to wash thefront before.That will be a trick, close scrubs. I'm going to rest in the car before work. !! And why is the color different! Posting is a mystery!
summer don't go away
I'm so tired. I just can't get everything done. The house has been holding me down the last week too much. I got over much of it. I even cleaned the table off when I come in. This raised my spirits much. I'm trying to draw. But every time I come back to what I did. It still doesn't look as stretched as I thought it should. I don't know what to do. I can't see where I am. I'm thinking of finding work that is restful or just giving up any. It's not like I want to sit there and do drawing after drawing. But I can't ever do any!!!! I was so sure in college, and now it has dissolved into nothing. But the impulse comes. Do you think they could make WHITE paper???? Also I've been taking advantage of summer photos....flowers, etc. That has been going okay. But, as I thought, the road was mowed where I was photoing. I have another place, but I must skirt deer. You wouldn't think that would happen, but with me, my dimension, in some things, is inside out. My indexing photos is going good. I've been working on that (mostly) and I'm getting the first pass done on my past photos. There is a second. I'm not going to do it ? I'm getting it all set up! I could just start with my new photos, there is enough of those. But I'm getting hurdles jumped. Something may stop me, but my good notes, for import and for running information are mostly taking shape. And that was a lot of work. If I don't need to do that second pass, I can start right out. Why could not a lot of somebodies help me do the second pass? If I divided up the work, it would not take as long. My film work is still just sitting there. I'll never find the time. I do have a few slides that could be done. But things still slip in corners. I got these vegetables home and I ate all these. I got the container all washed out many times. But then one night I forgot one small container of it and the next morning I had to get them out real fast. I can never remember to take out the garbage to the street. The house painting is getting done. I only have 3 days this time, so I am not going to do any. I want some fun. There is little to be had here. People have fun, I just don't think it is. To tell the truth, I want to talk about Van Gogh and most act like it is not in my place. This is a real problem. I sometimes wish I was in Detroit. In Detroit, If you get mad, it doesn't phase anyone. They might come over and want to help. It seems sometimes here it is a sin to have anything else other than a great day. Everyone is happy doing the normal thing. I don't like to be normal in social settings. It's fun to talk into things! To question. To want to know. And art is not something that is talked about here, at least to me! I'm not a studio or wedding photographer, and other photography... Well I got to get mad or something. I wish this was over. I need a trip or something, gas just went up. Summer is wanning. I really don't want to go home and start comparing my drawings with other peoples on the internet. Ha! That's what I'm going to do. I don't have the internet, I have to transfer the drawings. And that is changing. Well, at least the grass is mowed. The house looks nice.
This next is my mother''s recipie. You could probably find more interesting versions on the Web. This, though, has probably only the celery seed, you might not have. It's a great fall winter thing.
HOT GERMAN POTATO SALAD
BOIL 6 MED POTATOES IN JACKETS. PEEL AND SLICE THINLY.
FRY 6 SLICES OF BACON. SLOWLY IN SKILLET THEN DRAIN ON PAPER.
SAUTÉ 3/4C CHOPPED ONION IN BACON FAT UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN. THEN BLEND IN 2T FLOUR, 1-2T SUGAR, 1½ t SALT, ½ t CELERY SEED AND PEPPER…
COOK OVER LOW HEAT STIRRING UNTIL SMOOTH AND BUBBLY. REMOVE FROM HEAT, STIR IN 3/4 C WATER AND 1/3 C VINEGAR. BRING TO A BOIL, STIRRING CONSTANTLY. BOIL ONE MINUTE, THEN STIR IN CAREFULLY THE POTATOES AND THE CRUMBLED BITS OF BACON. REMOVE FROM HEAT, COVER AND LET STAND UNTIL READY TO SERVE.
I've tried to draw, here are two.
I'm sorry that all my expressions are mad. I guess it's because I'm so tired, my body just does it that way. I'm sorry if half the picture, or a side should not be there. I'm still not seeing 100%. The apple that I am trying to shade/draw is getting better. I think it is not very far at all from being right. But I still have some problem. ( I talked about this before, collapsing in college and not getting better - doctors don't find anything wrong and it blew a lot of my life and it slowly slowly in increments gets better. It blew my ability to see how to finish my drawings.) so they not look right. I have to rest. (I don't rest, I just call working on something else rest!
more happy expression...
A site where everyone could put in their art equal....here!
I did put some Scotts on my lawn. My father always said, "Don't feed it and I will not need to mow so much." He was probably right, but it had not been fed in so long. I remember him running the seeder around all the time when I was young. I was scared, so I kept it thin. The lawn is really greening up! It is a darker green. So that has worked out! I think I now have other leaks in the roof at entrance points. I will see if I can plug them. The house is springing leaks all around, but nothing, so far, I can't figure out where and why it's leaking. My photo editing program. I wish I was with the pros. It does so much, but seems to lack (for all that it has) just the things I need. I may not know the right recipies. I don't know. Sometimes I just don't know about the structure it resides in and what happens to it when photos change. All I know is when I save a photo or edited photo and re-open it, it never looks just the same, like it is suppose to. And I am not saving JPEG. I'm saving Tiff without compression. The edited look okay, but when they come back, it's like they have been sharpened. And I don't like the sharpening. All I have ever heard about is how to sharpen. I don't like it. It looks casty. It always degrades. I am so into fine fine art and I get the impression that this program is for only the masses. Searching for that one critical fine point. I live in that area! and It just degrades anything I do and that is like saying it stops all of what I wanted to express in that degradation. It's not there! That is what I said about smaller pixels, so the whole thing looks finer. I sat there all day yesterday trying to work up more ponies. And they don't like horses! Ha, it's probably true. But what is wrong with a horse. They are just as much a part of life as anything else! So I will try and find a landscape next I guess. I had a bad toothache the last two weeks. (I gotten this the last two springs) So my organizing output has slowed. I think I am at 85 or something. It just kills me. When I was in school, art was atainable. You just picked up a pencil or paint or clay. But if you want to take fine art photos, you must spend all this extended money (It never ends!) and still when you get some stuff, it is still not good enough, and you don't get shots. And everybody is, or was, putting stuff up and traveling around showing off their smashing shots. This, some how, is not what is was like.
This photo was worked on. In this sceen, it seems too thick. I set it up and it looked to wide. I looked down at it, standing away from the monitor and it looked better. So then I tried transform. I did both sides. Didn't look right. Then I hit the books and learned to transform both sides at once equally. That looked better. But transforming degrades the pic! What interpolation do you use?...more tests! It what they say right, or is another method better. How does this look on a better screen? I get pissed sometimes. I burned a whole day up on these. I did about 6 photos, but when I put them all together only these look alright to run.
5/6/15 Banging at the typewriter, but the house has sprung a lot of leaks. The stool was the worst. I finally got shut off valve on this too, as the faucets above. Kitchen faucet was changed. Shut off valve for the whole house had to be tightened. (I’d like to do this myself but I don’t really know how and I don’t probably have the tools and sometimes the strength and pressure needed in the back and hands. One well aimed slip could injure a hand! ) An old house just doesn’t stay exactly the same over time. The overhead leak has been caulked. I’m watching that every time I go on the roof. I’ve got a front porch problem and another drain and faucet problem. So I thought I’d oil the garage door…like they say. Then it didn’t work! I just about threw in the towel. I finally called and was instructed on maybe I could fix this myself. This worked like a charm. The grass is green, but no birds are there. I had a start on spring. The back porch cement needed cleaning. But Dad’s fire bricks were tilting in to the house and pouring water into the foundation. So I had to reset those. I was dead by the time that was done. Dad’s old grill finally lost one of it’s back wheels. So now I’m aimin%g at cleaning the inside of the garage door and the car. I wonder what will break? But I need another picture folder done today too. . 5/26/15 I worked four days, then I worked outside, came in , didn’t feel good. Now …take pics, wash car, photo organize. Outside! When can I get this off my chest…when. 6/1/15 Sorry no pics-I’m just not orientated! I’m never going to get the organizing done. I’m about 105 with all the yard and job. I got mad and started out my new stuff! This is really a bottle neck. I’m tired of waiting. I’m practicing flowers. I don’t know about you, but flower photos are the hardest. To me you need the right kind of flower, you never really know the ap – or bracket many. Do you flash or not? Flash comp? It must be still. You’ve got to think of it just in it’s frame…where do you focus. Will the flash be diffused or not, do you bounce the flash? Flower photography is the most demanding shots I’ve encountered yet. I’d rather bring them into a studio. I’ve gotten flowers, but I don’t feel I have the right equipment or subjects, and there have been many mistakes behind me.:) I don’t have that many. I don’t feel that great today. I’ve been tired and tired and tired. Outside work is up to speed at this time. I wish I didn’t have to work at a job. 6/8/15
As usual, I can’t load a picture from the library.Is my journal too big?There is absolutely nothing.I’ve got some pics, but no time to devote to putting them up.I’ve never had a life like this where it seems like everyone is pulling my hair in all directions.I have to wash screens. I am seriously thinking of quitting the photo indexing for now.If I get all my sheets done, someone else can do the adding and importing. There is nothing in here!And my posts are worse!:-& My card is filling up.My flowers are better! (You get a good set-up, and the next shot has a pinpoint bug crawling over!)It’s like they want to be in the shot!I only have seen two deer yet.A skunk raccoon, a possum, hawks, chipmunks, …and a T-Rex autopsy last night!Where did they dream that up! It did look real.I braved to watch, but I went to sleep after they found out what was in his stomach.I hope they run it again…
Bad work week coming. I want the jobs, I just don't want to do them...ha. I've got most of my crossover notes done. I will have to go over my DAM...(digital asset management) things before. This leaves the rest of the data sheet add ons. I think I have some left to do. I'm so sick of it. I've been taking a few pictures and I have gotten a few. Go right back into the office hole. Yesterday it was such that I could go outside and do things. To get outside, and not work. Work. Can't find a way to trim trees that won't cost sky high. And do it yourself measures will be more work, or won't be able to be pulled off. I don't know yet. Already one girl size tool is not on offer anymore. (maybe somewhere else) Stretch and strain...I don't want to anymore. I don't know what will be the outcome of the trees or house insurance. Then I just have to paint. You know, sometimes I prefer animals, you get an even break with them. You get a rattle or a buzz. A warning, unless you are dinner. Somehow that is more forthright. You can tell, Ha, I am in a bad mood because I have to work 5 days starting tomorrow. I generally not that happy because I want this photo work done and it is not going to budge without another pass. I've got everything set up though. It's just too much work, when I need to be doing other things. I hope I can get it to the second pass. I didn't know indexing would in the end be so elusive.
NASA's Kepler mission has confirmed its first planet in the "habitable zone," the region where liquid water could exist on a planet's surface. Kepler also has discovered more than 1,000 new planet candidates, nearly doubling its previously known count. Ten of these candidates are near-Earth-size and orbit in the habitable zone of their host star. Candidates require follow-up observations to verify they are actual planets.
The newly confirmed planet, Kepler-22b, is the smallest yet found to orbit in the middle of the habitable zone of a star similar to our sun. The planet is about 2.4 times the radius of Earth. Scientists don't yet know if Kepler-22b has a predominantly rocky, gaseous or liquid composition, but its discovery is a step closer to finding Earth-like planets.
Previous research hinted at the existence of near-Earth-size planets in habitable zones, but clear confirmation proved elusive. Two other small planets orbiting stars smaller and cooler than our sun recently were confirmed on the very edges of the habitable zone, with orbits more closely resembling those of Venus and Mars.
"This is a major milestone on the road to finding Earth's twin," said Douglas Hudgins, Kepler program scientist at NASA Headquarters in Washington. "Kepler's results continue to demonstrate the importance of NASA's science missions, which aim to answer some of the biggest questions about our place in the universe."
I saw a program like this on television! They are finding Many planets where they are pointing. (Or candidates . How many other objects can masquerade as a planet!?) Many planets. Where they are pointing. The other parts of the sky!... other places almost certainly will follow suit! We are approaching knowledge so gigantic about the existence of life elsewhere! It's really mind blowing! You can say, Yes! this is common sense, implied by what we knew, it's almost certain. But this is Solid knowledge. This window is Solid. Planets are probably mostly common.” Planets falling into the earth like habitable zone will occur as a percentage of this "common." They have found a few now! Our planet has arisen life. This is not a fluke. If it happened here, it must be one of a number of normal routes when these conditions are met. Earth is part of everything! Earth is outer space! This is all becoming so normal! I wonder if there are not messages in bottles (symbol) that other alien life has left for us to find, or like, I have thought, they are watching us, even helping us, without our knowledge. We may really be at the doorway of alien culture. Baby steps! I'm also really thinking we will find some sort of basic microbial life elsewhere soon. When I think of all the research that has gone before. All the scientists that have worked so well for discoveries. Building to all the knowledge we posses today. Now we do the same. The Moon, Mars, the other probes. These further things. Wow! It's really unbelievable. (And other benefits can come as well thru this exploration!) I wish I was an astronomer. And all this still does not address life arising when these conditions are not met! And this too may be feasible!
I did not get the name of the television program, or channel, it could have been Science. Be on the lookout. It did a very good job in explaining just how they constructed the research and the thinking behind it. Is this not groundbreaking? Discovering many other planets! Lifeforms? This is getting us closer. Unreal! This is a very big deal, to know this.
Please excuse any slip ups in this post. I am so busy, I have little time to keep up on scientific discoveries. There may be mistakes in basic components of my reporting. Also, I think, sometimes minor components are left out of the discussion to get the show to glide more. So I wouldn't know about it. I watch TV programs to relax after all the work! I thought this one was a repeat. Was I wrong! Really, to the stars!
These are in a world of their own, sorry for the watermark.
It's Spring again! Want to post more photos. Again I want to say that I know a lot of people wished or want to take photos/movies, or are! I wish there was a site. Everyone could be on it equal. I just want to say that again. See my "Memories" here. I hope I'm not overdoing it with the warping. I hardly know how to do it yet because I've got a new program and I'm working on photos and working and, you know the story. Look at the top. Don't have the time. I was on this one whole day for these.
Kids work is the best! So fresh! So happy! This is so good. The color was in drab light, I changed to black and white.
My pictures always look so thick. Is it my equipment? The site (I don't think so)? Can you make pixels display smaller? Each one smaller, so the whole pic looks finer? This was on a mural. I have portraits, but I don't know about here. Feel like I would need a moral Model Release.
I took these last summer and thought I'd run some insect pics. As you can see, these are not looking face to face. I don't have the equipment to make it that large! But they are pretty anyway.
I thought this spider was sleeping. I've never seen this. Thought it was cute! Back to work.
I’m done with my backup notes and now I have to put new keywords on my sheets and photos. I have a lot to go thru. Don’t know if I’m going to do it. Kind of testing how long it will take. I split my documents and that helps with the looking back. I have 100 plus to go thru and I got thru 3 today, and that was a good day. As I go on I would have keyworded with most of my keywords, making it easier to get through 1 doc. I don’t know. I sit sit and I’m not out taking anything. And I have no social life. Still in range of my dream and I’ve got backup notes. But really…I don’t know. It’s been cold. Good time to work. I got out twice.
3/10/15 I'm now approaching 50. I have 129. But that is just the sheets. I have to go back and add the new stuff to all the photos after the sheets. I jumped over and looked at the photo addition process. I decided to star. There are too many "good picture" photos blanketed. No big problems yet. My old garage sale laptop could go at any time and cause one. 3/20/15 I'm now approaching 60. Was slower. I had some folders that I filled with smaller pics. I am trying my best but I am so dragged out. Now yard work starting. I got leaves off everything but the front. I don't think I am going to do eves this year. The inside needs attention. But I want to work on photography. I don't know if I want to keep doing this. Seems like there is always something and that is too much. It's warmer! I wish I could crawl in a hole and not come out. I wish I could buy groceries for a month! I was out about the first day it came out of the freeze and the birds were singing sad songs, not spring songs. They must sing about the cold they have had to endure and it makes them sad. Then they perk up. I've already seen many robins. That's about all. I crawl into my hole and work. And then I get to eat! I hope someone appreciates this. I'm about ready to not do it. I HAVE NEW PICS TO PROCESS! Well as you know I have been working on the program, or notes on how to use it. After today I can begin to get pics ready to go in. They are almost ready. Then it's to the program. I'm tired, cold, and hyper because I have laid myself out to get this done. Because I have not had many jobs. Strung out. I need rest from this office work! Every test on the progra m has worked out so far. I feel better now because from this point onward, everything I have to do is mapped out and I can stop and start easy. This note bashing and organizing is getting old. I'm glad it is done and in place.
Deviled Eggs
6 eggs = 12 Halves
Boil eggs in pan, water just to cover eggs. Boil 10 minutes...til eggs tops are dry. Drain pan, pour cold water on to cool eggs down. Peel eggs - carefully cut in half lengthwise. Carefully pop or scoop yellow yolks out and put together in dish. Line or circle unbroken white halves on plate or devil egg holder. Mash yolks slightly with masher, fork etc. Can consult cookbook for various ingredients to put in them.
6 eggs:
2T mayonnaise (3 if large eggs) (some like more, some less)
1/2t salt/dash pepper
1/2t dry mustard (I do more if large eggs)
(I put in 1/2t horse radish)
(may put in sliced olives)
Mix up and put back in the center of egg white halves. Fill all the holes. Cover all with wrap and refrigerate till use. Last 2-3 days in refrigerator. Good in summer picnics or anytime! Don't do plain mustard in a bottle...ho hum taste. This has more punch. Any else you might want to add. Some add thinnly sliced black or green olives. Great for Easter Eggs!
IT REALLY MAKES ME MAD I COULD BE AT BUFFALO FOR THE SNOW! I NEED TO BE BETTER PLACES TO COME UP WITH BETTER PICTURES. BUT THE ONE ON TOP IS GOOD! I WANT TO TRAVEL!
[12/10/14 Police Killings. I haven't said much. It's impossible when you were not there and no one talks to you! I can't see from TV just how it happened, no matter how much video I chance to see or how much I read of everyone's conflicting accounts. What were these men like? Veiled threats? I don't know. Police are probably on edge with the Middle East, I mean, somehow this is worldwide. I can't see people being held back Too much either. I wasn't there, I don't know. But I can't see a policeman not letting a downed suspect breathe either. It doesn't take long for some people to die from lack of air. These are things I have learned to walk by because I don't get enough real input to make any kind of decision. Sooner or later I will be able to know the truth and then I can make decisions about things. It's horrible. If I was a parrent, I would never stop talking about crime and police to my kid, especially now. It's not worth keeping their world perfectly sweet because they are young and growing if it costs their life. ]
What have I been doing. You can just pass the "I don't have a moment to spare!" ...it's true. Got some good pictures hacking it, driving it. Up every morning! Surfing with a broken back, well it's still surfing, unless a snow storm. I got the drawing bug. This time I got again feedback on warping my drawings before hand to look more sophisticated. I'm doing better. I got it too warped and see it as bitter. This is a steady point. So going over that really gives me confidence. If I could get my body full back I could dive in and finish right. They could look faster and maybe that would animate a bit more. So I'm really happy with that. I run into my drawings last June when I was letting it all hang out and I can firm (warp) from here. I don't want to warp everything. So I'm real happy about that.
I also want to zip it off and have an alter life. I have been hitting the work trail so much and I'm missing being outside. I go outside and work in a lawn chair, (I wish I could get TV & Computer out there)but somehow I am missing just adventure on the hoof, like backpacking. I've watched so much TV I feel I know every topographical surprise the world has to offer, so how can I fulfill this impulse! It was easy when I was a kid. You don't have to carry photo equipment, very free to balance. I'm not giving up photography (never) but want relief from the yolk you must wear from it all the time. I need to bolt and climb, feel the wind. I don't want summer to run out when I am still sitting inside!
My work is going well! I'm in the testing phase with the program. I've gotten thru about half. NOTHING HAS HUNG ME UP YET! Every test has worked out!!!!! (So far.) I make up tests, do them, and record the results...
Getting better pictures sometimes. It's risky but frisky. I can't remember but I looked up from a photo I was working on and tried to get a hummingbird. Off he was. Looked again and he was right there. I hadn't moved in an eon. I got one closer shot and it (Amazingly was not a bad stance) I had all my settings right and it was almost perfectly sharp! That is the first real shot of a Hummingbird I have ever gotten, and probably the last. I know how hard it is to set up a environment to photo them perfectly! They are so sweet, so fast. Saw some super big fish in a river (got photos too and amazingly the camera focused somewhat well on them thru water at a distance)! No big cat paw prints I saw. I'm looking always. Never got the lightning shot I wanted at the place I wanted it. I blew some gas money. That first spring morning was the only crown. I found again my yellow flowers I remembered in the same spot. I don't know what they are. I wanted to take more pics of them. One morning this huge noise! I looked up and here was a Ultralight (I don't know what the term is for the ones with a motor onboard) taking off! Deer cross the road and Bluebirds sing from the meadow. I even tried Butterflies by sitting by a flower. I don't want to give this up.
I have squeezed in house painting but not as much. I'm getting the peak of one side. That raccoon was starting to tear the screen off! Really glad I got him down that cold night, and happy I still saw tracks after. [Sorry, can't get bold off.] I'm going shopping now. Watching the events on TV. I'm pretty tired after working the church lunch. Maybe sometime I can get some pics in here!! Maybe I need to stop and find a guy! 9/18/14
I've had a wonderful two days. Am drawing, and I got that much closer. It seems like leeing is coming together. Only thing in the way is my figure, and it wonderfully dropped down this summer a bit more. I wish someone could figure out what this was, so maybe I could subtract bone and build more...would that help get this closer?
Because EVERY time I look at my last drawings a year ago, (that I had to stop on before I finished because I didn't know where to go with it), I now know where to go with it much more!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is something with my body. Like I said, did my dental braces do this when I got my teeth straightened as a kid? Or was this just in the works for me? All I know is in college I knew how to finish EVERYTHING. Ten years later I didn't even know how to shade an apple. And this continued for years, until now I'm coming back out of it and I'm getting closer to my college days in art. But this time I've worked other things into my stuff. So I am so happy with the results. Years ago it was a train wreck. But not now. I've put everything else off to draw. I need to paint...{the house}. It's so wonderful when something you have worked your whole life for really is going to come together. I didn't know? I theorized that I could draw already in some ways, so that would be it. But I was working towards other subject matter in other forms. This all came about when I read and heard things like...'You need to draw with your heart, not just your eye.' This hit me like a truck. I knew there was something to this and I needed to explore it. By then I also had the idea of human evolution. I was somewhat skeptical of this advice, coming as it did, from my great grandfathers in time. How would this set with me? 100%? I was ready for a block or two along the way. But with my beliefs in evolution, there was far less of a problem if drawing more loosely did not work out for me. You can't draw what you don't house. Knowing you really can't do something is a plus. I must know reality with me. It's freedom, you can plan your life around what you know! Well so far I am piecing together looser cartoonish form with some of my work. Depends on the subject matter. I still don't want all of them like this. I look for subject matter that I could do more realistic. Sometimes I thin it down a little. All depends on the form or composition. That part is being worked on. I can't teach my body what my mind thinks it knows. My body has to be hit and hit with bad tries and good victories. I mean how far do I take changing a form until it looks more sophisticated and fine. It's no wonder with all the variables, that this is taking some time. I used to draw just by eye, measuring every part. Now I combine everything, eye, contour, blind contour, tracing. I don't really trace but sometimes...like I could never draw a horse standing there with it's four legs. I'm too thin. I've never been able to get on to that. It doesn't look right when I try to draw it freehand. (Some things look right when they are not drawn right and some things don't.) I hyper studied Vincent Van Gogh's work and he is RIGHT ON in places! I don't know if this was by eye or by trace too, but parts of his work are right on, where the rest is cartooned etc... That's what got me to try this with compositions that I couldn't get right. Just spots, or a spot I would line up. Or close. It helped put it back on track. So there were many drawings I was testing on. I love my student papers! You know they are still good to display from too, if something gets good. So don't be afraid to botch drawings...just put them in the computer and finish it better!!!!! If you like art, it likes you, and it doesn't have to be a death sentence. Doing art will lead you more towards knowing yourself. It can uncover things for you. Do you want to teach? Do you want to do art entirely? Do you want to read X-Rays? Do you want to run a gallery? If you like art and are just starting out, art is your friend, no matter what happens between you and it. Jump in at it and it will help you find your way. Just don't let it sink you, if that is what it is going to do. But then you have to look up sometimes. This is kind of my ongoing experiences with it. Everyone always used to say, "You will always have that [art]." I guess, I hope I am going to for the future. Now the real trick is to balance drawing with Photography! I guess I try and make passes at photography! I get some!! 9/24/14 I finally got out. Getting adjusted to cooler weather. I have not stopped drawing for a peroid of time. No real hangups except I can't finish some. Going to try working over back wash again. I've almost got a side of the house painted! 4 boards to go...on the bottom, which is so much easier than the peak! I didn't mean when I was talking about tracing drawings, that to go ahead and trace!!! If you can, you should try and develop your drawing skills as far as you can go. Only use a bit of it if you hit a wall and can't go any further, and you know this! I worked it in to a few of mine, but I use a spot or line (mostly not right on) to do this. Just if it doesn't look right at all. I also use leeing or cartooning. These mostly make some of my pictures look better. But I have a really tight exact line and this makes some of my drawings from realistic outlines look too fat. Sometimes what I draw looks okay drawn realistically or close to it. The more simple it is, the more I can draw it completely free hand. Like an apple or Teddy Bear. I've been doing Teddy Bears and drawn most freehand. I got another yesterday and it is different. I had to trace parts. I finally got it better. 9/26/14 I got the house side painted!! Oh sooo glad that is done!! We have a repreve in our weather, it's warm again. I love it! I fin Drawing is like an ongoing adventure and skill you follow. I never got on to the skill like I see others do. But I have become more at home. Drawing for me is always now one step from disaster. I have to get over that. Yesterday I did another Teddy Bear drawing. I wanted one thing... to cover page with med to dark subject matter. You get on and suddenly you see a great drawing before you finish! That is the worst problem, you have to work over it and lose that version forever. I've even taken pictures of that step! But I clamped down and filled in the bottom. I did get where I wanted to be and I have a picture that way, I just can't finish the details yet. So now I am less tight when I want to be! Cover the page! And that is good. I just don't have a great way to apply dark passages quicker. I have got to experiment with wash and powder too. Paint? But the drawing went on. I have neglected my photo work for this because in the past my drawing impluse was gone and I didn't notice. I hope it stays. I was taking photos this morning. Some sweet cameos. 10/1/14 Sorry no pics. Working hard, nothing to show. 10/3/14 A super bad problem of living 2-3 hours away from major cities and having very little money. I really would LOVE to atend a lecture on human evolution coming up in Chicago. This hurts. I've looked into it and I just can't take photos and attend the lecture. It's too far away with no money. If I had friends in Chicago (that I knew about) or anything, I would go. No one here that I know about is interested in human evolution. It is very important to me and has helped me so many times and I have had so many interesting thoughts on it and it's ramifications for today. I don't want to miss that lecture. It's really a sin. I wish it was availble online or something. I try and not miss the few tv programs that come by on evolution. I'm so busy with photo and drawing and moving?, that I have not the time yet to read books. And the whole wonderful adventure did start with that first television program by Louis Leakey in Olduvai Gorge. I watched it over and over again, going down level by level. What a wonderful intelectual adventure, I think for many people. It seem so fresh and new! And I have tried to follow events throughout the years. This is so near and dear to me, I really hate to miss that lecutre. If only I had someone to go with to split the cost. When I hit a city I could stay for months. Along with the art institutions, who give drawing oportunities, I feel I could have met someone also really interested in art or photo if I could have attended or had a closer association with these institutions. I really can't lose more of my life to this. On the flip side, living in the country gives you easy access to, at least seeing countryside and nature. But, you know, our immediate ancestors could have the best of both worlds, because the city and the country were not so far apart. It's a problem, I need to be in a city too. So I am really down about so much I miss going on in the city. Just hurts, and because I'm not suppose to get mad, I do get mad about it. 10/9/14 More drawing. The more I do, sometimes I can see in. Taking a bath, TV, I can drift off and feel just what is going on as I draw, what I draw, how I draw and the outcome. I go back and do un cartooned and then do more stretched drawings. Don't have that down real yet. The uncartooned look fat, but maybe they won't when I get to 100% and can see again. But you do become more confident the more you do. Wether it be because you have drawings to fall back on that worked or you are just more confident. I'm not picking out what to draw 100% as I did before either. But who says you can't do a subject over and over! The livingroom has become a studio, but I put everything back after. Drawing is easier to clean up after than Photography. Well if I don't stop now, I will not have time to draw. If I could just get some pics here! 10/21/14 Love to run...RIGHT NOW...my new pics of frosted wildflowers...fits right now! I can't get anything up here like that out now. Just not in posistion. We are cooling down. It pains me to see the flowers still sitting there, I will miss them so. I really could use more warmth and sun. This area sits there until spring, clouded over. For awhile the muted grays and blue are a landscape for deep thinking and cozy up, but day after day after day there is no change. The same dull nothing to look out at. I remember this in highschool. Seems like it went on forever until a snow. Inside was the only humming thing. We do get a one day break every now and then with clear skys and sun, and I mean one day. The leaves are starting. I got my first dose in rain. I've been drawing and I've got to get back on my program. I was making headway in it and I hope I can hop right back in. I have made so many extra notes on just how I am setting this up I should be abe to. But all going for naught. I've got to get on track. 10/25/14 Nothing to write about. Just thought I'd check in.
Global Warming Do we have it or not???? If things get worse and it is or is not due to Global Warming I would hope that people did not start blaming each other for it. I hope Science does not get blamed for it. I hope the ruling class does not get blamed for it. Because I don't believe they are the reason for it. Some people (in any class) could have ignored the problem recently, but I don't think anyone is to blame for starting it. Again, evolution. Global Warming did not start in our generation really. You could say that global warming started from man when the first campsite fire was lit. When we gave up hunting and gathering and settled down into towns and cities, you could say global warming increased. Then when the industrial revolution got going and population really exploded around the world, you could say Global Warming really got started. So who is to blame. You can't blame people for trying to make things better for themselves (when they knew nothing about Global Warming). All throughout our history that is what we were doing. Saving people, not starving, not freezing. All along. I was born in the 1950's. I sure did not hear anything about Global Warming then. And four children was the perfect number to have. Not like two or one today. So you should not blame science or the ruling class for this. Global Warming has built up unseen throughout our history. In my opinion, no one is to blame for wanting to make things better for themselves. But now as a cruel joke on us, all our prosperity is going to come back to huant us. And what we do now to try and fix this problem (if indeed it exists) is the important thing. I just don't blame anyone.
The next thing I do will be less focused on a object! Looked more refined and intermingled in my Gateway. I have it as a desktop. Always looks like a lolly-pop when it goes somewhere else. Next time I will make a pic that I know will look better set up here or anywhere else. Still hard at work, now I have mechanical problems. Then the roof I put over the bathtub fell down this morning, BROTHER! Much warmer out. I got the mower working. There is still a pile of leaves in the backyard.
Yesterday morning (5/21/14) wonderful drive thru a raging lightning storm to take pictures. Way in the dark, then the lightning faned all across the sky against flawless spring twilight morning landscape, deer crossing unseen in the distance. Frogs on the road, I had to be careful driving. It was dark. I'm glad I choose my speed because I came close to hitting farm ducks that refused to move in their dark rainy world. Robins, woodchuck, babies. It was a wonderful adventure. And I got a few pictures. I hoped for a clearing cloudy sky and I got that. On the way back Lilac hedge. I heard an angry dog, it was big dog. It paused on property line. I got back to camera, I don't have time sometimes. I then felt this little nudge on my leg. It was the big dog. I'm glad I'm so lucky. He turned out to be nice. I wish I had more protection sometimes. I might not be so lucky next time. Glad to get some new pictures. I have been working so hard on things. If I had things around I could run the lilac picture. Maybe sometime. It was fun. Work was so hard today, but tomorrow it must be easier, I have ice cream!! :)
CHOP SUEY TIP
MOM USUALLY USED CUBED BEEF FOR THE MEAT PORTION . GOT AT MEAT STORE. SHE THEN GOT A TIP THAT THE MEAT AMOUNT SHOULD BE HALF CUBED BEEF AND HALF CUBED PORK! MAYBE THE MEAT STORE CAN ORDER THE CUBED PORK. I WILL TRY AND FIND HER RECIPE, BUT I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. IT WAS VERY MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. SHE USED THE PRE-CANNED VEGETABLES AND EVERYTHING ELSE. BUT THE ADDITION OF THE PORK IS AN EASY, VERY GOOD VARIATION!
Spring is alway so beautiful in the morning. Fresh sun over mass clover field, robins meeting the sun by tree trunks, I love feeling the insects fly around me, they had a pause too. Baby birds chime and parents whipping over the house. The smells, I need a battery laptop so I can sit in the backyard too! Been trying to work on photos and balance the outside and inside work. Got curtains washed and I got all the windows done, which I forgot last year. Yesterday was deep crap day. I had to devise ways to clean out dead ground squirrels and poop from a window well. Then I remembered one well had filled with dirt, that had to be dug out. I'm resting before the roof. Glad to be free.
7/12/14 Yesterday was World Population Day. I hope some people can think about this. It is best to try and decrease this. Have one or two kids, or think about it. If you have many kids in your family, when they grow up, they, in turn, want to have kids too! This is what is increasing population! I should not be promoting this, I have no kids. Some people want big families. I don't know what to say about this. Birth control must be accesible to all. I know you want natural sex...free, no stopping to do somthing! But just think how one of your baby's babies may have to die a horrible death in the future because there is no room left! Water, food, space, pollution...Global Warming? Population Growth is, and can become a much bigger problem in the future. This can be a bad danger to everyone...looming on the horizon!
I've been very busy taking pictures...bam bam bam, outside work and job. I tried to get bee pictures and found no bees!? Was this because of the extended cold winter we had? I looked farther north and found one or two bees (not honey) inside city limits, not many in the country either. I don't know what I'm doing trying to shoot them, but found the fastest shutter and high ISO was best. I really don't think I, somehow have the just right equipment for perfect shots. I love it though, you can find photo composition here too! I have been far outdone with pictures on the Internet of an insect head etc. etc. Really close macro. But I still like the bug against background variety. Then there was a try of lightning. I got a couple, not much. And flower and item freezes. There were some tries at city shots too. But this all requires in depth weather knowledge that I don't have. So I have been happy but jumping around with my sleep and waking times.
The roof was a MESS!!!! coons have been having a party up there and it looked like Humans had been going the bathroom! I had to clean it all up. I use double gloves plus plastic and plastic bags. I don't breathe either. I got that all cleaned up, wishing I had enough money for COON OFF and wondering if using that would discolor the shingles. Then the worry about cleaning the shingles, where the poop had been. Will cleaning the spots degrade the shingles and cause the granules to come off? This time there was more starting moss on one side of the chimney, and you know what problems I have had with the chimney! So now I'm back at the computer program. Taking too long. I would rather be south this winter. I don't want winter to come. Why am I thinking about it? Summer will still be here for awhile. I have no time for garage sales. It's been like that for years. Our downtown is starting to look up. A street has been re-bricked and an historical building has been moved. We have a yogurt store now. Haven't gotten to that. The 4th Fireworks were great. I didn't get pics. Slowly my camera knowledge is growing. I'm doing more with the camera now, then I did. I, though, must remember to go through all controls before I set off with taking more types of pictures. I don't want stills taken at high ISO etc.
7/23/14I've been taking a lot of photos. Not keeping many. Sunrise, Sunset, this that. This would be okay if it was the only thing I was doing!! My car is dirty, it got washed again! Runway cleaned again! Bushes, Roof, Mow, Church, Dishes, Food, Indexing. I need to find time to go outside. Last night I did, eyes stared out at me from behind the bush, heat lightning approached, no bolts, I just about lost it, but there were no bolts! I got to tell you, I got my program (the one I've been 4 years working on) to work a little last night. I ran the MOST critical test first on all kinds of files and it worked perfectly. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A LOT WORSE!!! I could NOT BELIEVE IT, IT WORKED!!!!! Years pent up tension GONE! I've got more, but this was what was going to determine if I was going to use the program. ( I also thankfully did get help with one file type on another computer along the way.) But still, this was big. And it worked and I can't believe my good luck. I don't know what I was going to do if it didn't. I'm glad it worked because I put SO MUCH work into this. And I hope the secondary tests keep going well...CROSS MY FINGERS, TOES, ANYTHING ELSE I CAN CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now this morning I get in trouble for forgetting where a screw was, or a notebook. It happens because all my detail brain bank is in this program. When I'm off I really want to relax. I'm about fainting! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!
2/6/14 I did just that. I put together a little picture document on Pilgrims because I have no pics of them. His homestead was, normally, somewhere jus outside the center of a New England town. Now I can't research land holdings at this time. So I don't know just where it was. Maybe the area. Built up here and there. I don't know if he was buried on his property (was there a cemetery at this time?) or not. So you have to be realistic. If not buried in a cemetery, his bones could have been dug up to dig someone's basement. Or he is under a road or parking lot. Or unmarked on someone's property. I'd like to know the area of the spot anyway. Sometimes they move or throw out old stones with cemeteries. How thoughtful. It's too bad, but inevitable, that the Indians and Settlers fought. They kept clearing land and the Indians kept being pushed farther out, probably toward other tribal boundaries they couldn't cross. My ancestor grew in land. Maybe he got too much land. Maybe what happened is par for the course. Now I am off to research beer, because the pilgrim kids drank it. I think this was what is known as Mead. I think it has less alcohol in it. I think it kept better like this without refrigeration. I'd like to get pictures back in here, but new ones are still on hold. I have to build one thing after the other without help. I plan to take time out to do one or some, but it's not going to be tomorrow. Mead comes from honey!! That sounds pretty good. I have gotten all my written note work done on the application as of today! Now I must know old notes.
.IT'S GETTING LIGHTER. THE SUN IS COMING! NOT TOO KEEN TO MAKE ONE OF THESE AGAIN. I HAD TO REDO TWO OF MY DOCS SO I CAN TRY AND UNDERSTAND THE APPLICATION. I HAVE NO JOBS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. So with Easter coming...Do You Have A Problem Living The Way God Wants Us To? I go to church most Sundays and when I do, along with worship, I review my week. Most times I am pleased with my actions. In an underlying way I try and help people and situations that I come across, and some would think I go more out of the way than I should. But it is not 100%. I couldn't let myself be attacked. I can't 100% turn the other cheek. When I leave church, it seems like I leave one world for another. It's like I have to pick up a shield to go out the door. I operate okay in this world, but this has always kind of bothered me. I can't come to terms with it. But I'm sure most people who are religous also sometimes have a problem with this.
MARCH 1 TODAY...FIXED COMPUTER!!!! FOUND IT IN LAST STACK BUSINESS CARDS! SUPER BAD COMPUTER MISTAKE WAS NOT MISTAKE!!! FOUND A ESSENTIAL EDIT RECIPE, FOUND DROPPED TOOL!!
MARCH 4 FRENCH SNOW, CLEAR DRIVE, MORE COLD, CRAZY, BLANK BLANK BLANK DETAIL!
I GAVE UP COFFEE FOR LENT...UGU I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR MY KIDNEYS. I TRIED TEA. FREAKS ME OUT. I'm in a bad way. No work. I'm one of those people who fall through the cracks. This isn't a joke, it happens. I'm still very hard at work on the application. I wish I could do art for a job. If you fall through the cracks, your mind and body will crack if you don't. It's like being a mule and dragging a level and it gets harder and harder to pull.
I didn't mean I wanted to sit there day after day and do art. I do need to get about some. I am way too confined like I am, no art friends.
Like I said, I just jumped from getting notes together in papers and started to get things together for the application. This first leg has gone faster than I thought, probably because I have not encountered any snags! Wish next two would go as fast, but I don't think so? I've really worked hard to lay out what I need to do so I can cross it off. This helps a lot when I have to do other things, then I come back and know right were I am. I've done this with my photo processing too. Nothing like it. A grocery list becomes an everything list very easy. I've never used a phone ( don't have a VERY low prepaid now), or a computer. Just a paper list. The only trouble is finding an older list which has past things I never did!
The coffeeshop is turning into an art gallery!!. It's like winter is showing itself. It seriously is not going away, the sun will temporarily touch us. Maybe next winter will be warm. In my opinion, our weather has not been normal for twenty years. It's warmer now, it's raining!!!! The sun shines down, robin pairs. I wish I was a wild animal, I can't believe how much they can take and spring back. I wish I had what they had in their blood. Been watching the lost flight, I don't think they will ever find that black box. Pilgrim thing. Non-Stop. Can't fit it in. I NEVER go to bed without mapping out the next day. I need a vacation.
4-5-14 All Nighter! Where does the night go? My body is second story! Two hours of warm rest!
4-7-14 Have you ever had a day that was ton planned and you just sat there and side track. Now I'm at coffee shop and didn't pick up nothing! The more you do, the more goes wrong. Now I have another question that could make or break a long held thought. It is so noisey (sp?) in here tonight! I've got to go thru notes again and make what I call simpler notes. I'm really sick of this. One thing leads to another. And you have people saying "IT'S ALL SO EASY!" I've been hearing this all my life, and when you get to the end it's stupid. You have spent all this time, and it doesn't go far enough in a spot that makes or breaks what you want to do. (So I have to learn everything.) I haven't recovered from my sleep. My body feels wrung out and spring is coming. I don't know why I am so upset, what else do I do but get leaves cleaned out (which I have nothing this year) and take pics. I've got so many notes, that they are getting mixed up. I hate it when I have to do bills, balance checkbook, shop, on top of church and job. I'm not getting enough time for this! Even all nighters don't help. It catches up with you. When I go home tonight, I will be doing good, just to fish out my next questions. And I wanted to get the simple notes done today. Blah Blah I don't even go out. Well back to try and pose questions.
Enrtry going but lost it. I missed leaves and sticks. Have next to nothing this year. Very warm yesterday. Spent day getting notes into better notes the day before yesterday. :-& 4-23-14
I finally got a picture!! My body would not continue to march, no matter how much I prod! I just slipped. As usual it looked perfect on my computer. And shifts occur that can make a picture look like the person didn't hit their mark. OH THIS GETs ME! I'll have to see. I have been so happy today, worry has been lifted. I need to shop and stomp leaves. Spring is here! It was so good to have another picture. This not a photograph, but an edited one. My last desktop was too colorful and it was making me sick, so I just tried to combine it with something else. I've got to be off because I have mainline work to do. But hope to spend a moment with birds. Frogs Singing!! :)
I AM CORN This had an image to go with it. It is still at my hosting site but refuses to show here. Maybe others are seeing it. Don't have time to fix yet. Here are some images that I thought looked clunky, which were in here before. I changed them. In the space of a year. So I'm still getting better! I've got a few new pics but I can't work on them yet. I wish I could. I'm chomping at the bit to do another collage.
Have been smashing and working. One day of supposed horror turned into a day of unbelievable disbelief because I got EVERYTHING DONE, and I didn't think I would get a third of it done!!! This fast never happens!! I now have a few new programs etc. How do I run them? Well, how do I get more social(?) I'm painting a side of the house. I've got the peak and a side of it done. I've got to go up there and risk all again one more time. I do tie down the laddar at all points, even the bottom, but still, I would love to have this over. This morning I woke up and heard something drop right by me...there was nothing...maybe it was the floor creaking. I've been hacking away all day on business. Don't know if I can make it up the ladder tonight.
It's a good thing I'm simple I am still working on a big project. When it's done I can get back on here. I AM STILL HERE, PLENTY BUSY.
When your trying to do something big, you can work for a long time, but other things just float in. I accomplished my big thing, but then I really didn't know where to turn. I had to go to work. Painted one side of the house. Started leaves. Had a drain backup. Then had a tub plug. Then I was embarrassed at the state of the house. I know the guy who fixed it and my parents knew him. I had not cleaned in a couple of years. So I went thru top to bottom again. I was embarrassed to have this guy come and fix the drain that my parents knew and have him see the inside of the house. But work really keeps me from cleaning. Surprised at how quick I can go thru it...curtains, rug, everything washed. It helps if you've cleaned before. Expends energy. This really whacks me out. I had to quit the project for a few weeks. I slept all Sunday and Monday. Just watched monster movies or other. Today I got my office straightened up.... I had to make a decision. My Mother's table. I had left it just as it was when she had last been there. You know, kind of medicine and things all around. Her funeral flowers, long dried, still there. I know she is probably here with me in spirit. And I surmise she choices to be younger than elderly. So I know she would not like the way that table looked like it was. So I cleaned off all the medicine and left the flowers. Also in the past I bought this large four candle candle and put it on our old stereo. For years it had been stuck there without anything under. I finally thought up, if I left a light to shine on the flip side long enough it would heat it up... and it came off just perfect! So I got just about a clean house now. The basement still needs. And a new tub drain pipe without a U joint that can be cleared out!!! I just need to start my project off and then I can separate from this because I need friends. Not this journal, but social scene. I have friends, but not art friends. 11/1/13 Halloween, it was rain and wind. I still don't know if trick or treat was yesterday or today. I arranged the curtains to look like pumpkin eyes with a red light. There was not a hint of Trick or Treat. We went out rain or shine! I don't have enough money to get a big pumpkin. I guess I'm a snob. I'm tired of not enough money so I don't do Trick or Treat without a big pumpkin and money to buy candy. I miss my big pumpkins. I really could never understand why my parents hated them! I watched old horror movies. There was a new redo of Halloween this year. Or I have never seen it before. Tonight there were solar destruction movies. I wanted to see, but I wanted to come here...coffee shop. I have to get questions made up for a topic I'm learning. I'd like coffee or pop, but I don't have enough money really. I'm dying of thirst. Today as weather dictates, no rain for two seasons, now rain, turned leaves out of order. The front has been easy. Now all of a sudden the back is taking off and I also have piles of them on the roof. My back was really bad. So bad this time it started feeling liquid...not good. I made it thru today. Yesterday was ton of details and I couldn't get it together. I had a PMS breakdown. Tomorrow I hope I'm not too washed out. I wished I had a way to record programs to view later. I know my space movies will be over when I get back. What I am trying to do is moving way too slow. I'm progressing, but what I wanted to do, why I started this project is still at the end. And I have gotten no drawing in. I wanted to do a little pumpkin line drawing for here!! AND NOW AS TIME FLYS...HAPPY THANKSGIVING
WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT CHRISTMAS? THE MUSIC! NEW TUNES THAT YOU KNOW! I didn't mean that was the only thing! I love friends and all the support they try to give me. I really wish I could get more artwork in here maybe sometime Sometimes you have got to study! I love God and his son's B-day! We had a Christmas night. Sleigh music, wonderful tunes, filled drive, not 10! Shovel in trunk. It has stayed cold and is not a chocolate mess. Does anyone want edible tree hangers?! Coffee? Right now I staring out a wall of glass. !
MERRY CHRISTMAS What a bad day. No guy, real job, friends in art. I have a house to take care of. Of course if I could have found a job long ago I would have been gone. I was in the Library 1 hour and I took off my vest because I was hot. My house is not the warmest. Some guy came into the Library and started a scene. This went on and on. I thought they were going to call the police. I left because you never know what could happen today...guns? Knives? Tasers? When I got to the grocery store I realized I hadn't remembered to put on my vest! I was gone 1/2 hour! And in that half hour someone took my vest! There were not that many people in the Library! From then on I couldn't put much together. I left my shop list, almost broke my bulbs. So I hope to have things better when I go home and start working on my photo organization. This is not the first time. Money dropped out of my purse right in a shopping line and I lost that! Even with surveillance. I wasn't even allowed to see the tape!!! Is there another country? My thinking is wrong. I haven't burned down the house yet. Only locked myself out once. I'm really not doing bad on my own! My Mother would have guessed that I would have locked myself out far more than once. But...I've got to get somewhere. This will end, but right now it seems like it will never. and.....................................................HAPPY NEW YEAR!
1/15/14 Still bashing my head on photo notes. It goes on and on. Last night I almost dropped it. I've got pictures in there I haven't done yet! I am not taking pictures! etc... Still on but how long? There is still so much work to implement this!! I'm only out 4 years of off and on study , I can go back to past operations. I'll leave this to the lower half. My lizard will stop me. My mind is always flying around, but my body can make overall decisions for me, when my mind can't find a way around it. I didn't think it would take this long, just trying to understand how to implement this! I've spent 2-3 hours today just trying to understand answers to questions and I have to go to work tomorrow. It's like I sould have an advisor to understand all I am trying to undertake and then pointing a way through it. This would have carved out 2 years!
1/22/14 How sick it is to be in the cold, in the dark, with a waste basket beside the couch. No one there. I think I had a touch of the flu. The food tastes off. I tried to keep doing my notes but I FORGOT MY LAPTOP - I took the book!! I got a Coke here, it tastes okay. It took one day and one night. Today I am back doing notes. There are so many prefs to this, I can't remember some, how can I find them in the book? I hope FIND helps on my notes. Like I said, I'm about ready to put this on hold. As you know it has been a cold winter. Not too much TV. There is so much on TV for the younger generation there is hardly anything for the older. ( Some younger people may want to watch something else too.) I don't need to pay for no TV. I'm paying more than I should now because I don't want to sign a two year contract. I want to get flat out when I need to. Doing the same thing over and over, like being stranded freezing on a Everest cliff and no one is coming. No one is brimming with happiness. I'm getting through my notes, but implementing this, I don't know, it's going to take too long. I thought I would start this on track, then leave the rest for when I can. [:l]
1/24/14 I just finished the book notes. I need to paste parts to ferret out most setting type dialog choices, because I think there is more than the Prefs... Maybe not. So that needs to be next. Then after I tidy up the Docs and Print them I'm pretty much ready for what comes. Please don't think of anything more that is right. I am still learning this! I've go questions too. I've got to find out the ones I should be finding out. It's still cold. I was hoping this would break after Saturday, but now we are going thru next week again! I've neglected my drive and there is a frozen hump at the end and I can just make it through. I'm really looking froward to clearing it tomorrow, we are suppose to get snow. I had meatloaf today at church lunch. I have not had that in years! It was really good. Off to check out some things online.
1/30/14
I'm sitting here, I don't feel good. I could have gotten some done today, I got that done. I just surfed. Suprise! I found out some tidbits about my founding father...I mean one of my first ancestors in this country. He was 18 on the boat. His brother died on the way over and was buried at sea. He made a go of it, even grew properious in land. He died along with two grandsons at the hands of Indians at 49 years old! He came from England, I even know the place he set sail from and where he was born. WOW! I'm sorry he had to die with his grandsons (they were only babies at the time). But there were others, namely his namesake, the boys father, who was not there at the time. I came along that line. They had a hard time clearing the land and always watching out for Indians. I always thought my ancestors in this country probably died in bed! We didn't cross too many wars. But not him. I had a run down to begin with, so I knew names. I often wondered about him, but thought I'd find nothing much else but perhaps a name in England's records. Wow ! you never know. I found out more than I thought I would! You always want pictures, but only outstanding people might have an image at that time. To be realistic about it, most people who came over here only planted crops, and apparently were on the watch for Indians. Too bad. My parents never knew.
So I'm sitting here getting sicker and sicker. I need to go home and eat, but I don't want to. It is so boring around here. I am so sick of winter. I sould have gone somewhere else today. I'm tired of smelling coffee and tired of watching bad TV because I don't feel good. I just don't feel good enough to drive anywhere...and then walk around. :-& 2/4/14 I can't get in to my image hoster, now that I have a bit of time. I dropped the photo program for the time, I just didn't feel well enough. I'll start up again, but I want to get a social life. Like after two jobs I had to widen the snow at the end of the drive. You can imagine the mountains of snow all down the drive, that I have flung up there by hand. This is at the edge of what my back can do. I was out the last night after I worked and (bless his soul) a guy stopped with a blade and said "I'll help you widen the end of the drive, no charge." He did God Bless His Heart. I needed it. He pushed the excess over to the other side of the street. (We have a parking lane over there...I mean the whole town is running out of places to put snow!) This was so nice of him to do this. My drive was getting narrower and narrower down at the end with snow plows going thru and drifting snow, then turning to ice. My neighbor helped me once with it. Thank God for caring people. Anyway one day or so ago I did some myself and it knocked me out (along with working) for a day. I was so in hopes of starting Monday with taxes and such, but I couldn't get myself to move Monday, I didn't feel good at all, all day. I layed on couch and watched TV relaxing. Just like clockwork this feeling lifted Tuesday, today. How many more storms are we going to get! They keep coming like bowling balls!! That racoon that I pushed off the dome into the snow is still alive. I'm glad of that. I see his tracks. You never know, sometimes depends on how old they are if they are going to make it through a winter like this. It kills me to turn an animal to it's death alone in the night. But I can't take a rabid raccoon in and pick up parasites or desease from it. It can't tear a hole into the attic vent grill. Well he is still alive. He faired better than the dove who took shelter in the garage. She died. I would like to, but I just can't pick up a wild animal and get pecked or bit with all their germs. TV is now talking about mice and rats coming in. I would never know, Jasper, my long dead cat, picked those up. It's amazing how many are around. We have never had any in the house though (except what Jasper brought in). It's not snowing yet. I've thought alot about my ancestor who got attacked by Indians. Going to research a little more today.
More drawings before I have to work. If you right away see something apparent that should have been changed. I can't see it at all until I get all the way better. Like this girl's hair. Should more have been rubbed?????? And I got these from a magazine. I guess this is okay in here. I'm not making money. But I wish I could supplement some with drawing. The girl on top is thinner. The girl on the bottom is raw in demensions.
5/30/13 Trying to draw. I should be happy. I really got a lot further with drawing something completely surrounded by dark and a double. I cartooned the hell out of it. It almost makes it. I'm not satisfied unless it seems 100%. I really can't tell now. Maybe I need to somehow relax parts of it. I don't know how to do this now. I still have figure problems that block me seeing how to finish. I've gotten way better in this. But of of many drawings I have been trying to do, I did a pear. I have gotten it, but I can't be sure how or where to accent the finish. So I still am going to have tempory tag on problems with this. One thing is good. With all this practice, it finds it's way through the figure mending too. All my gesture and contour practice sticks by me! I couldn't hardly draw now like I used to...just by eye. I could if I set my mind to it, but I don't want to. I want to go faster. Or as fast as I can. So I'm practicing this and breaking for another life. The weather is beautiful. It's so welcoming out. I really wish I could draw outside all day. So I could have the best of both worlds. It gets pretty dumb to be so closed in, in the spring! The girl above now looks a little wide.
6/6/13 What have I been doing, well I have been drawing. I was really filled with spirit one night and got a real good drawing. It was half not cartooned, not as wide. It still looks pretty good. I don't think this will get any better until my body, or my backbone re-organizes. I'm not as blind as I was to finish and I've done many drawings in May. All need a bit of finishing. Like, I can't go ahead with this quandary of to cartoon some, or not, or do it halfway until I get better. Sometimes it depends on the subject matter. But I am getting a lot of work or practice under the hood and this is cemented. If I change, it comes along for the ride as if I was twenty. This is good! And I'm getting pictures. Just way more I have to finish off. I can't get off graphite. I don't think I want to but I have the equipment for color, half color etc, and I haven't worked much in it. With my delve into cartooning embellishments I think I should. But color would require even more cartooning. I really don't want to cartoon every graphite drawing either. Another thing. Some of my pictures can finish themselves before I want them. I get these lined with a bit of fill and they look great, but I planed to fill it all in! Maddening! This time I kicked my ass and filled it in anyway. Things just don't gel as freely as when I was in college before the slump hit me. But I keep telling myself, that I am really much better. I'm running out of photo stock! I thought I had a lot! I haven't gotten my film photos, or any photos cataloged yet. But there is a old old dusty, moldy box of Nat Geo downstairs. That might help. I'm on my way to draw right now. I'm doing the same picture twice. No more in here yet. I'm being, as usual pulled in all directions...yard, job, other, other, housekeeping, drawing, no friends...NO BOYFRIEND...who has time to join a website! Would I find anyone? The E-Harmony makeup monster is my type!!! I can't afford the Internet...my land line is on the table...I'd like that money! It's nice out and the tree seed helicopters are over or nearing over meaning I have to eve work outside. I don't want to, I want to draw! I need a slave, or someone I could help to find their star. Sometimes I wish I had a donkey or something to pull heavy loads. My back get so tired sometimes. I looked for pics the other day and my back dissolved. :)
6/21/13 No time to get another pic in here. I lugged the roof. Gee I hate that. I forced a ton of work done. The eve screens are clean and stacked in the garage. Why? Because with the screens cleaned it looks better. I made myself sick, the job makes me sick if I go too much. I got a few art supplies. That was and was not a hassel. Got the car washed inside and out too. I racked myself up. Mowed the lawn. Surveyed a tree I need to cut because it is so close to the house the root may grow into the foundation. It's a mulberry tree, they are so dirty. The birds love the berries. You should see the roof. I've been cutting overhanging branches. I'm wrung out. I did get to some drawings yesterday and today. Did three. I picked a portrait that was hard because I wanted more of the clothes and a hat in it. I've done this before about three times. This time I cartooned it in a drawing, lined sketched the face, and did a more relaxed hand drawing. All three were not too bad. I had to erase the top of the hat on the last version. These pictures are coming but I could care less about the expressions on the faces because I'm fighting this fight or keeping my whole attention to expressing the drawing. Try to get another up sometime. At least I am pushing the envelope with my drawing, breaking or trying to break new ground. Years ago I was hung with some historic artist's advice to a newbie. Not with your eye, your heart! Well this was before or during when I went into the slump. I thought that this made sense. But the outcome was for me, maybe not what many others would experience. But I was committed to pushing it as far as it would go. I started out drawing just by eye. But this part took time and practice, and no real assurance anything would come of this. But I knew that when I hit against a wall and could go no further I would have a solid knowledge of myself in art and drawing. So I'm still going at it. Practice really opens you up. I'm glad though, that I seem to know not to fly off the handle. Like I said, color is something I don't think I will get far in and I havent pursued it at all recently. I did try a landscape. I again did passingly with color choices, but in the end my tense line just kicked color out. I'm going to back up and try one color or pen. :) Here is another I tried to squeeze or cartoon. Not relaxed enough but I can't relax anymore til I get better. This is not finished, so if you see anything that should be taken out, in the future, I too will probably see it. Maybe the left side should be dark too. I just don't have time to fool with this. Cartooning really makes drawings look better. After I do way more of these my body will probably tell me what I think of cartooning. Do some more realistic or not? Right now I am cartooning, even a little bit, most pictures. I think they look more professional. Even this one was also changed on computer a bit, before I put it in here. Like I said, HA! forget the facial expressions. Maybe the hand should be lenghtened. But I wanted to put up another cartooned face in here. Thought it would look better. Excuse me, I'm not being sarcastic, but I am being sarcastic...Can there be WHITE paper? Does EVERYTHING have to be Ivory???? Everyone can put artwork up! Try cartooning a realistic picture...Blow you away! But I don't think people with a more relaxed hand have to cartoon as much. I have to work again a lot the end of this week. I don't feel well now. I don't thing the house is going to get any more done as of yet. Well, juggling your life is normal. I need to juggle a guy in. How about a fellow artist? Or someone who likes art?
7/8/13 I'm still here. That mast of a house is over the hump. Meaning I got the eves flushed, etc and screens washed - up among other things. Sidewalk clean and the hedge refuses to become any shorter. It springs up after I wash the sidewalk! Hope I have a tale to tell. Wonderful weather. I love insects and birds and the air. It's like floating. It doesn't even fase me when I hear distant watercraft on one of our lakes, being on the roof is a wonderful flight.... I should have taken a pic.
7/18/13 I'm so busy and I can't yet tell why. This will get over somewhat.
I've tried to get some drawing done. I can't force it. I'm losing my life because I have to work all the time and can't draw or photo. I don't want to do it all the time, but there is never any time to do it. I have time off but I have to rest, and when I'm rested I have to work again. I dont' know what I am going to do. It's making me mad. Is there some other way to make the small amount of money I am making some other way. Can't I house sit? Can't I draw? Anyway I'm trying to draw and I'm not there and some things are half fininsed and my scanner doesn't scan small hatched stuff as well as the larger things.
Concerning the Ariel Castro kidnapping. I feel for the victims. They were kidnapped for a long time. A very long time. I pray that somehow at sometime in the future they can relax and again feel love and live life as it should have been for them. They need ongoing help and support, maybe for years to come. Unless they are very strong and can snap out of this sooner. I pray you girls are safe. And I really would like to plug THIS...
CHILDREN, DON'T GET IN CARS WITH STRANGERS!!!!!!!!!! NO MATTER HOW NICE THEY ARE. DON'T DO THIS. Also, even when you get older! I think another time for danger is when you are in high school/college, or are just out of school. There is a lot of social party going on. Whether it be coffee houses, bars, parities, in class, meeting friends through friends. There is a lot of meeting going on... many are looking for love. There is a lot of meeting going on and fun. Drinking maybe, fast flowing fun. It mostly is safe and fun and free. But this is also a time when you can be suddenly and very easily, be alone with someone you don't know at all. Girl or Guy. Especially if your a girl. Anything could happen. Don't ever go home with someone you don't know at all, even if he seems nice. It's not just kids walking home alone from school. Just be careful. I think this kidnapping is proof enough of this.
I have one more I forgot to put on CD. When you have a bunch, they seem to take center stage. Pictures like this don't look as good in here as they do just alone. I need a better scanner. I don't know if certain scanners can scan drawings better. I can't afford it probably. I have more pictures I have done, but I don't know how to finish them yet. I'm getting gooshier though, which is good. When I get better I can finish all of the pictures I have started back drawing over the last years! If I can. These aren't the best but I don't have time to draw and that is becoming an issue. Everything always looks too square! I wish I could make up in here! On the spot. You can't do half the things I can do in Elements. Like put script over or under pictures! I can make up things at home that really look okay! The girl looks okay. You can imagine that the snowmen look okay. Try and get the other snowman in. My little line cartoons almost look the best. I did a daisy. I looks best under script.
I've been busy. Spring is at the point where it's just sitting there ready. Some flowers up. Not yet here. I'm glad. I did get the leaves out. I have sticks and more leaves and I don't want to do it. I'm going to probably push that back. Trying my best. I have tried my best. I have jury duty again. Coming up. I just learned how to eat chocolate in a better way. It seems that every time I find something I like, the next time I buy it it is not as good. The pop has been horrible! I wish I had a dishwasher machine because I've been throwing more together. I did think of something I could do tonight. Because I have a hole and the way I've been going there should not be Any Holes!!!!!!! Tasted great wine. I want to taste the $50-$100 a bottle kind. I think I am going home and have a beer. Buy the time I get home it won't sound good. Of course I could say I wish this was over, but I'm always thinking things like that. What I'm doing is wonderful. :) I want to get on to the other wonderful thing.
Has anyone been watching the Vikings? Some of that...speech, boat freezes, interiors, customs, seems to ring true. How would I know? How do I know that? Also, as always sometimes, putting modern people to represent the actions of long ago historic peoples does more harm than good. Because in my thinking historic peoples were a shade different than us. Actually different. Some things we find raw were not raw for them, not wrong for them...killing a young child to keep watch over a buried hoard of gold? Gods were watching their every movement and where was the food to come from? Not from emergency shipments from overseas. What was ever known about anything, everything...never ever much on the up side. Never to catch on to much Always like that. Never any different. Not be able to know. The sky and much was beyond Everything. There was no inborn circuits to light up. Of course THE GODS could do anything to them. SHOW RESPECT TO LIVE. But on the other hand older people probably knew more about other things we barely scratch the surface on. I'm sure some of the younger generation can blend with touches of this show more than the baby boom generation.
But I think it's a great show. And that reminds me. Read up on the Vikings!
VERY SAD ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE KILLED AND HURT IN BOSTON AND TX. I HOPE THEY FIND LOVE AGAIN. I PRAYED FOR THEM.
Can't find my white one yet. Had a wonderful Thanksgiving:) Finished outside as snow started. Time just seems to float by. The inside needs work. I have else to do. I'm glad my parents can not see the inside of the house. I am a lifeboat with, with helpful things in storage! I can't change until something changes with me! If I had money for everytime someone said I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing (mainly art and photo) I'd be rich!!! And half of those are probably just trying to move me somewhere else! It's really hard to live like this. Hope to find a topic and drawing to put in here!
11/26/12 Happened to catch two Thanksgiving parades. The young high school kids on TV blew me away. They were so professional!!!! If the Rat Pack was watching, they would get an invite to Vegas! All across the board!!!...so professional. Times change. Makes me feel secure :) 11/27/2012 Just about got a really cute talking Christmas E- card set up and you have to Pay For IT...what the hell, they used to be free!:-& 12/5/12 Busy Busy Busy on my time off. Go back to work tomorrow. Isn't this interesting. I was out driving and the moon was coming up yellow, just like a cat's eye!
12/10/12 I don't really have anything to write about, I always remember something when I get home. I'm doing way too much now. I have connected with some solutions. So I'm happy with that, but things are too complicated. I was dragged in my other job and I looked up to see a sea of teens in Santa costumes. That was a smash hit! Sorry I can't put anything more in here. I've decided my photos don't look as good as my background and I'm trying to research that among other things. Things are really blank and way too crammed. I can't keep up. Maybe I can find something, anything to put up in here. Love VAl Wow 12/12/12...Wow Head's spinning. Walking on ice. Do you dare? Will it crack? Why do I see myself in other places and I can't get. Some of this is so put together! It's so great!!!! I'm making progress, I know because I'm starting to skim thru things I know before I hit snags. I only had one breakdown this time with the book. Still too many questions I need answers for and everything is set up for one. I'm getting amazed and piss I don't have enough money. If I had more money I could work this out a lot easier. Why not? It's getting to the point I am resting on my other job...my body is not! I hate being cut off and cut out. How can you reach inside yourself and get out. I saw some amazing pictures the other day.
12/17/12 I'm doing way too much. I hope I can hold on. I need a guy. I just don't know how all this is going to gel out. I really don't have enough time. So horrible about the killings. Life is hell.
You know I go home at night and I have no one. And there is no one here, that I have ever known, that is even close. I can come up with tons to fill up my time but when it comes to guys, I can't find a portal. I'm walking on, but the ice cracks all around. I'll go home tonight and read my studio notes. I need to get on here again and I don't think I will. I did get some questions answered, when I thought I would not. I got some sudy done. This softwear book I am reading, I am reading more now. Not staring at every phrase, trying to understand what is being said. How did I get on to that? My brain is remembering? It should, I have already taken big notes three seperate times on this. I learn taking notes. And your only really trying to find a trail through the program for you. But in doing so you need to know so much about many many things so you can make the best educated decisions about how you are going to use the program. I swear, this is the last program I will learn. Or try to learn.
12/31/1
I'm sorry I have not been around! I didn't wish anyone Merry Christmas...well Happy New Year. I really don't have time. I haven't changed the background or anything...well you will have to rough it. I did get some time off and I'm telling you I am beginning to feel like I used to feel. I need rest...a certain type. I have been home and not going to work and I'm me again. Every time I reach for something it is there. I rearranged my studio office and that did wonders for my well being!! It didn't take so long because I have everything already labeled. So important when you have many things stuffed away. You put the most used forward and tell what is in every package. I can't believe it, I can SEE the top of my second desk!!!!!!!! I've also been trying to learn a program. For me that is like saying I'm learning computer too. The best part of all this is that I am actually learning it and remembering.
In algebra, I would be learning to take a test! My worst thing is math. I try. Some of my history in it has been funny, some I still have questions. I'm not good in math. I know I'm not good. If I have to do it, like balance checkbook, I do it by hand and use a calculator and check the results. I used to take some of my math to my father while I was in school and he helped me with it. Not too much, because I muddled through most. But when I took base 7 to him he went in orbit! "Those kids can't even learn normal math and they are trying to teach them this!!!!!!!!!!!" I finally got on to base 7 without my father. The whole thing was funny! Looking back base 7 and 12 were just the thinking that got us computers!!!!!! And I don't see anything wrong with that!!!!!!!! And most of the kids around me back then, were doing way better than I with normal math. But I sure don't put my father down. If is wasn't for him sitting me down for two weeks straight I would not understand the subject/verb concept of diagramming sentences. I went on from there and didn't have any problems! Algebra was harder. (I didn't have help from my father.) My teacher couldn't explain the hardest part and I was too young to even know about tutors. Geometry was easier. I always wondered about Trig. I wish I could have gotten through that. Senior Math is something I don't want to be a part of. So now you know how dumb I am in math. I have Cliff Notes though:)
1/3/13 Too pressed for time. 1/10/13 I have rested while getting thru some learning. My back has really had it for three years. I can feel the poor thing growing more and more like it was. But I won't have time enough. I'm sorry I'm not in here. I haven't even changed the picture. It's okay. The night before last was a dream of rest.
1/21/1
Again I'm not anywhere. I'm sitting there, In weeks I could not relax, I'm buried in safety and study and rest and the doorbell rings. "A water main broke down the street, do you have water in your basement?" I couldn't believe it...I hadn't heard anything. (You don't if water rises, unless something falls!!!) I expected everything to be dry as I walked down the stairs, but wow, there was water...approaching the first step!!!The water main broke and flooded a sewer outlet. Everyone's basement backed up with filth. Not the best of interludes. I've just been on to that and working. So this again is blank. It's cold here, for a time, I'm afraid. Not the normal winter. I'm afraid we are in global warming. We have not had much rain last summer and we are not getting much snow this winder. My poor old tree dropped one of it's dead limb parts directly at the end of the drive. You think it is trying to tell me something? Probably not. I'm beginning, I feel, becoming involved in things too far advanced or not commonly accepted yet, with my photo filing. I just can't find info on the dangers out there, if any. I don't know what to do. Or who to ask. 2/11/13
Sorry I've been hard at work and not feeling well. Sometime I really feel I have bitten off more than I can chew. I've never felt this before. It all gets so complicated. Then when I step back I see that I have made progress. But this time it is different because I am dealing with so much I don't understand how it works and I need it to work to progress. I am trying and have tried to fish out problems that would stop me dead in this, making this endeavor null. But happily I have not found any yet. My Father would think I was nuts. I sometimes do wonder if I should be getting into this as far as I am. I've built up such a good system over the years, I wanted to make it work. But as with math. This is it. I'm not going any further. I am learning a lot. It's hard to learn because I don't quite know what they are talking about in the first place. I have to keep going back over and back over and pick up every little detail when I don't understand. Sometimes this finally gives me a understanding. Sometimes I have to ask questions. And the lists I must make, add to, and keep up to a tee. I can't just sit when I think of something, it must be written down. I must study any info I get...and I'm tired and the TV is sometimes on and I just want to lay down and sleep or rest. The bag I am carrying around now is huge. Today, I mean it, I almost did not make it in here with all the weight. I was going to use the luggage carrier but I thought there would still be water and salt around (it is metal) but no. There is more to go. I'm so glad that I worked out a world view like I did, saying that today everyone sometimes has the finest art in them and sometimes mostly everyone is an artist. I believe this. Maybe it is helping. I pray that there are no more breaks like the water main. Sorry, no new background or activity yet. This is going to be a blank area for awhile!
Here are alternates of pictures that were in entries 1/20/12 Cow, 2/15/12 Pony, 4/26/12 Guy in Suit. I don't think I have the right progam to change these. I'm better but I'm still not sure how much they should be changed or where. As of yet I can't get them out this far while I am drawing them. Maybe this will be the last step on a computer! Like I said. This morning I looked in the mirror and my middle was way slimmer. It might be, but my legs are not filled out yet. But my mind changes back with every body change. So these still might be over worked or not worked enough... I just can't stand seeing those luggy drawings here without alternates! The more realistic drawings look better in person than here. I just got this done yesterday. I came back from downtown thinking it was Wed (it was Thur) and the library was not open til 8PM so I couldn't put them on then. When I got back I faced a ton of leaves in the back yard which had to clear. I just got the yards done a few days ago! The leaves are coming down all at once! Coming over here I obeyed my deer code and ran on brights. I passed one standing right by the road!. The day before yesterday I got out looking for pictures. It was fun and I found a few. Not far from home. I haven't had a chance to draw yet. The back of house is painted...one coat. These pictures may not look great, but with the background picture, maybe fit better? Can't decide. I worked and worked all afternoon on the Xmas Mall picture...the gold one at night with all the cars and Xmas lights! The tree to the left I thought I could pinch just a little. I tried everything and everytime I tried something (and I tried everything) it would cancel out something else and the picture would not look as good! So I couldn't fix that. Other people just have the touch for this. I am thinking my drawings are better in a gallery setting. If I could do something different with my life I would have more to write about in here. B^)
Break time. Had a great difference. This was the first time I planned to go somewhere and photo and did not reach the destination! I hop scotched all the way out taking photos. The last hopscotch was so good I stayed. I had not been there in thirty years! Last time I did take photos but no camera. It was cold and spitting rain, heavy clouds, but that did not dampen the people around me. Finally challenges of a different kind!:) Streets and shops. Windows and doors. Little sparrow at my feet. Squirrels unfazed by people breaking the sidewalk. They would hide along parked cars and maybe now and then a few bits. One Setter proudly carried "his" big toy bone! There was wine tasting and groups of friends gathered. Saw a cute guy. Saw a bull terrier! I didn't know how I could manage my tripod with the people, but I did pretty good putting it to the side. The sky was dark, great for Halloween masks! It's so good to get to new. Pant Pant
I then went to the last city to try and cop photos. You should have seen the candy store! A bride waving from stretch limo. Then it was time to go, work next day. Only one buck ran out in front of me in the dark. My speed was decreased the whole way because of deer. It's fall! Now I have a unknown schedule. Hope to finish painting the back of house. I have a forth to go. This sounds hefty...but I only manage one coat. The house is white. Very forgiving. Try to get something in here!
I went to a bike show. It was so very very hot. I hit the street and I couldn't breathe. I was afraid I was going to have heat stroke or heart problems. There were AC shops all around to duck into though. I got halfway down the street and realized that my body was going to throw it off! I was happy! I did get a coke in AC and stop to talk to a biker artist in AC but I held up! Not old yet!
Now come the Christmas ads! Better get your money ready for Xmas! You are probably about to see a lot of really great closeup insect or spider photos on television or the internet. You might see some of my type of Photoshop edited collage photos. Maybe not. With the insect photos, I took some 2-4 years ago and can't be the star. I didn't even have equipment or the right isolated enviornment to photo them for uplift. They just blended into a natural background or setting. They looked okay. Can't have that, probably. It makes me mad that I couldn't find a used Medium Format kit years and years ago. I just wanted to know that I took these pictures (can't show all) before you see the media ones. I'm tired of others stealing the show. To me, because I have said this. My photos are abreast or equal. I am equal. I didn't say I was better or over. I said I was equal. Can't show all of them here now. Maybe sometime. I'm tired of hearing background innuendos about how I am going to lose my job or my house will be broken into. I'm not too mad or anything but I'm not going to be a victim of this stealing of the show anymore. I've been a victim all my life. That's why I love this journal I can put my work up. We can all put our work up. I wish there was a sight I knew about. Grass Spider Black& Yellow Argiope I got so used to taking insect photos. It was hard. It was all stalking and carrying things and setting them down. I even got to use extra eyesight through the viewfinder for manual focus with my parent's old glasses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could see perfect through them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember once I pulled into this boat loading zone. There was this police car there. I thought he was just having fun, but the more I thought about it, he was patroling the lake! This was back a few years ago. What could alert a policeman more than what I was doing by his car!!!!!!!! Here I was frozen, a tripod and camera in a seamless stalk up to another spider web. I was in the open and it took FOREVER. I'm like frozen, not even edging toward the parks border in this posistion I never changed, it took 10 minutes.... Thank God, Away from his car. But he was sitting out there watching this! What was this idoit doing??????? I finally did get the picture. And he came back. And I went up to him and explained what I was doing. I said that he should try it. There was plenty of hunting and with no killing! Then he probably though it was okay! It was I took plenty of pictures, not just spiders. I had this area I asked to go in. Deer were the biggest porblem. I saw a fox once, maybe wild turkeys. It was an area that I had walked my dog in when I was a girl. So of it had really changed. I did so much work for the pictures I got, I just don't want the slate wiped clean. There are many insect pics out on the internet that are situated better. Up and isolated. I wish I had gotten some of those. 7/14/12 Hot Hot Hot Hot I can't really go on about anything. I got some lists made up in Photography. To do this without AC I stripped naked with a small fan and cold cloth. I am working on a hard copy of some pictures I edited. I got all this back work done but no where to put it and I don't understand how to put it up if I did. I am now finding photos from searching documents I have already made up. I went to a mini one night Photoshop class. I learn more all the time, but not as much as other people. I just take for granted that other people will be processing my photos. I just want to get my stuff into a cataloging program and it's probably going to take more than me and that will take time. No one cares about or understands cataloging programs around here. It's all Photoshop. Photoshop is great but there are other programs!! A town of 10,000 or less not around a bigger city is a death trap for an artist. Esp. one who is suppose to get mad. I'm tired of getting mad. Just eating and eating after working and working. Everything is too jammed now. Always too jammed. I've wanted to get away for so long and with the heat I just can't go. The little info booklet I got with the PS class was the only freedom (unless it was eating). Nothing is on TV and the house remains not looked after inside. The outside work has stopped in it's tracks because of heat. 7/23/12 Too much work. I've been taking notes in Photoshop. Another book and more notes. These are very helpful. Just don't want to take more notes. I always think I could put it down as a formula, but there are too many things to learn. After comes the formula. Too much time spent on notes. The more time you spend on notes, the quicker and spot on they become. What should I do the inside of house or outside. I thought about it. The inside. So long for now. 7/24/12 Blew off steam last night and I feel better today. But not that much. I've got to get away like everything. I put this new back in and it was too small or something. I fixed that right here...How do I know what monitor to load them for???? There was another sun face and That is on white and it's not supposed to be. YA YA I pray we are not in global warming. (( )):** That pony and cow are too fat?I'm trying to understand my photo cataloging program for the third time. I'm getting better. The questions. How many questions can you write down within vague tons of notes. Sometimes I can't read my own writing! But I stayed on it today and covered, as I remembered, a hard part. Next I will try to find the other hard part.
8/15/12 Blue too dark, don't have time to change. In about a week I'm taking notes on two books. I'm lazy editing this portrait and it needs softening. I remember long ago I have a recipie. Where was it? Then my brain just popped , "It's in the blue class folder, you copied that!" How can I forget what I wanted to do in the next room and remember that! I recovered it and the portrait magically bloomed right in front of me. I don't how it did it. Fun. Also have been again looking into searching right on my computer. Got further on that but not as far as I could because now I am stuck for space. Not mowing yard very short. I'm worried about our trees. We have had very little rain in so very long. The insects are alive but the underground is so dry that when you go to pick up a piece of bark you find ants have carried their larva up under the bark where it is more moist. We have had some scant rain recently.
8/22/12 I took a trip. I couldn't go Memorial Day. Laid flower at my parent's and Grandmother's graves. The old homes are looking great!!!!!!!!!! I got back and thought I had time, but I go back to work for three days tomorrow. I wanted to change this background but no time yet. I've also been trying to come up with a way to process a document from my photos metadata. I've been looking all around. I found one small program and I was up all night installing and testing it. I couldn't believe I got it installed all by myself! I have questions. I have another program to install that is like Excel but it's not. If that works I will be able to knock half the work of filing my photos! I don't hold out hope. These things always trip you up by some small detail. But so far it is working... there are a few hitches. I'm going now to ask questions. Couldn't believe I got that far last night all by myself! I thought my computer would blow up!!!!!!!!!!!!
8/27/12
Still working with and investigating the two little free programs for my photo filing and also working at job. There is one block that I'm trying to find a way around.. It seemed harmless but I don't know..
8/28/12 Don't want to give up that picture with the white! It looks closer to maybe these little programs will work but I've been in a boxing ring all night. I still don't get the second and how it serves up the info will determine wether I can do this. I do learn more from this. The trouble is by the time I get it learned the programing people have moved on to the next thing! ! I did learn something else along the way! I can mass fill out a folder with pertinent info!! So I go back to my programing genius to ask more operating questions. Cracks me up. I think he was helping me along with saying something might work while pointing me in the right direction! Any way you can get it. I'll fill you in later if I can get 1/3 of my filing work cut out. I got the background changed! I had another insect pic but the opening motorcycle shot looks too good!! Ga Ga
9/5/12 I've got the programs to working. I could run with this but I don't know the outlay 100%. Really didn't think I would get this far. I put a whole picture folder through. I started painting trim in the back. Can't finish, go back to work.
9/12/12
Have you ever had an accident and made a huge mess? Not had any time to clean it up so you made one pass that got maybe a third done? That is the way I have felt with the yard and house work this summer. Then it got so hot I really couldn't go out. It was dry though and not much buckling of paint happened on the house. I tried to finish the car. It has to be done all at once, wash and wax. Well I still have the bottom strip and wheels. I wish I could say it was DONE!!! There is always some tack on more work!
I now have one finished Meta Data Sheet of photos the NEW WAY...AUTO!
The font is smaller, I can fix that. But I did it bold and it is very readable. It's done, I got it done, recorded, the whole bit. I'm really happy, I got it done, I'm free!!!!!:) I'm excited to do another and get some better idea of how much time this will save. Every time I go in there and start that computer I wonder if it will give out today. It seems like you just spin your wheels on computer sometimes. Lately the people who are there to help on line are not as helpful as they were! I have all these questions and they just say..."Uh-huh." A few days ago I again faced a pile of papers from the new Auto Meta Data Sheet dry runs. I had to sift through papers in there, the kitchen etc... I just can't move sometimes. It's a good thing I can remember these little scribbles of notes so I can move the notes or throw out. I spend more time re-placing my notes! That really helps though!
I'm sorry I haven't been able to thin down those wide drawings. Now I can't get rid of this font highlight!!! Sorry I can't get to this yet-the yard is calling my name. I got the spread sheet to work! I love handing out Birthday Cake! I got some Fair photos. Not many, I always want to draw the animals. I was hand holding IN THE BARNS and I put it as fast as it would go. I should experiment with that grain look! I hope I can get a dinner tonight because after coming in and taking a bath I'm wasted. Any more work and I will be on hands and knees to get to the bathroom! Tweet! Losing bird voices because it's Fall. So lonely.
I've been trying night shots! I don't have the equipment or spot but.....photo editing helps!! See the fireflies!!! I wanted to try and get the fireflies and stars! I got other firefly shots. Look at them! Our area is evolving a new species of firefly, can you spot it? Check out Scorpius constellation in the upper left of sky! These nights were more dangerous, I was scared. Deer all over. First I heard stamping off the meadow.........several times......I knew what it was.....then it got closer! I jumped in the car and started it. I think that did the trick, then there were raccoon chirping, then growling. This was in stone dark at 11-12PM. There was a cat. People were driving by and riding bikes by. It's a wonder I got any time exposures at all. It was hard. I didn't know what to do. I finally recorded firefly bursts, so then I could figure out the ground v.s. the night sky stars. I was scared, occupied, tied up with equipment and ALONE!!!!!!! After two or three nights I finally got some pics I can work up. It was fun. You can't believe the alter universe that goes on in summer fields while the fireflies are out. It really is a beautiful electric night show. And.......I thank my lucky stars I got out of it without being attacked.
A College Pub I hope not too bitter
I think cutting these pics in half would set up better in here!
HAPPY 4TH!
THE WOW SIGNAL
(HIGHLIGHT TO READ)
Reading this remember I'm not that informed in background astronomy knowledge because I need extra time and remembering for art & photography. This knowledge can make or break some of my theories.
THE WOW SIGNAL, well, the first thing I formally think is, it is not real. It was just set up to entertain and get people to think. AND EVERYONE KNOWS THIS BUT ME! Second thought--it is not real but hardly anyone knows it, including the people who legitimately picked it up! A few rogue, (or not) scientists, or people, secretly sent this signal out (masking it's earthly orgins) to be recognized here on earth as a signal sent from aliens. No one knows how they did it. They then would be the entertainers, pranksters, teachers. Third--this is an innocent signal from a normal source here on earth that no one has figured out yet.
Now for the Alien part.If this signal was truly from aliens and not from somehow, an outer space source, that does not have any aliens attached to it! If this is from aliens.........The very first thing that hits me is ..............hummmmm............one signal once.......no more?[There could have been more, no one knows] One signal. You know what that maybe says to me......."SHUT UP! We love you, we want to talk to you but there is deadly danger afoot that we or you can not stop. And if you don't shut up you will give away your position! They will destroy you. That's what they do." (Isn't this sometimes always the way of things. There is always danger present.)
Maybe then as a favor to us, they would block our signal and our television signals already floating off into space. So we would not be found out and killed. So sad that something as television, so innocently thought up and which has given so much joy and information to so many people in our age could be a death toll. We are like the little fireflies this summer, beaming our existance and posistion to everyone out there - good and bad. Maybe there are so many firefly signals out there, they will overlook us. Maybe the distance is so great they can not get to us. On the other hand, by sending communication signals out into space for aliens, we may unknowingly debut into a grand intergalactic government. Far more sophisticated, refined, far reaching, and intellectual, plus serious than we can ever imagine. But isn't that always the way kids, hard at play, suddenly rolling through adulthoods door. Not even aware, and amazed at this new thing! We on earth don't know nothin now. We are so hard trying to find other life. To know. Maybe they are telling us to lay off for awhile?! In a friendly sort of way.
The next thing I think is that one signal was all that was needed for just a communication. Like in the movies, it has within it layers upon layers of information. And we did not uncover this info. We do not yet have the tecnology to read this.
Maybe it is a "I recieved your message...we will answer it......or we are coming to kill you! Thank You! Or they would like us to send out another signal, just one more time, so they can pinpoint our location...to answer/or kill us!
Maybe this signal we got is part of a whole program - aimed everywhere by a civilization interested in growing intelligence to worlds in their infancy. There being so much life in the galaxy that this alien civilization sends out mass signals everwhere to baby civilizations...and we picked up one of these signals aimed at our sector! This signal is being sent to keep any growing and young civilization interested, curious, and primed to keep growing intellectually. So to one day be on a intellectual par with them, or by that time, any other reigning intelligence that has taken their place. The reason being... not to lose all this mass knowledge and to pass it along as well. One day we would be the one's growing intelligence. Sending out mass signals all over the galaxy.
(This is a little far flung thinking because being intelligent is no more important than being unintelligent. Life is life.) But, say, that this super intelligence form could, and would be evolved by us in the future, then this extra intelligence would be a helping hand, friend, and richness of life for us or any other civilizations that got to this point of being able to understand it. And pass it on if need be.
Now for everyone that gets hurt by the (I know, and none of this was ever true, thinking). The Wow Signal has been staged...Area 51...all a put on! Lockness Monster, Big Foot, never true. Maybe they all have been staged. Ghosts? I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if many "sightings" over the years have been staged. I think more people are ready to believe in the discovery of extraterrestrial life than monsters. Although both could stem from the same physical property which is not yet been discovered by us. There could be openings for these. Even if the Wow Signal is a hoax, this could very well happen. Are you sure you don't believe in ghosts?
We as a species have spent a lot of time throughout history sitting around telling stories. Supernatural events, spirit events, hauntings, things we can not understand, horror stories, Gods and their stories, monsters, space people. Fearing the unknown. Maybe not everyone fears the unknown, many many people always have, I believe. We want to learn all we can. To know and be safe. We are at a disadvantage with the unknown. We are and have always been afraid of things we don't know. The earth's physical properties?..........Outer Space's physical properties? The night sky? Seems like there are holes. Animals heightened senses that we are blind to....... Are there holes? Holes that can invade our safety armor? Unleashed free form energy that can effortlessly invade our defenses. A wolfs howl, a cat fight, hurricanes, all point or speak around this. The power of it all. The immense vast distances. We are not 100% safe. We talk and talk. Tell stories, compare notes, try and build up a knowledge base. About something that can easily get around us. We feel something can get around us. We spend a lot of time thinking abourt this. Trying to stay safe. Horror stories on TV, ghost stories of old, spirits and demons before that. And before that there must have been special emotions of fear not understood. Animals sometimes house this direction. You can hear it. You can see it! Egyptians say that cats are the guardians of the underworld. Another bit of info given by a television program but these things are heavy heavy heavy weight realities and fears. Maybe today just as much as then. So we have spent a lot of time and energy talking about these things we don't understand and fear for a long long time. What could be out there? Or what could be among us?......I think all our dwelling on these things that we don't understand for so long is in of itself one of the strongest indicators that this dimension DOES EXIST! Ghosts, Aliens, Monsters... made up? Projections? Maybe Bigfoot is a hoax...maybe not. Maybe the Wow Signal is a hoax...but the Dimension may really truly exist and generate occurrences from time to time. Maybe these examples occur so little and across so much time that you never see them. Maybe not. Nature of the dimension itself. It's too abstract, too far out, never to be understood. We could never understand it. This dimension has always been part of things everywhere, outer and inner space never giving away it's presence. Maybe ghosts, monsters, aliens, are the physical label we have dreamed up to describe it. Maybe they are a real evidence.
So don't stop telling ghost stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ET probably does!!!!!!!!!!!! This Star Ship could have always been sitting here among us. Don't disbelieve, or I don't. Be ready some day for an ET communication! Be ready for a person just walking in a field to disappear right in front of you, never to be heard from again. Beware of Monsters! Ghosts! Prepare to again be together with your loved ones in heaven! Maybe you will meet aliens in heaven!!!!!!!!! Prepare to be loved by God in heaven! Maybe heaven is so much better than life you would never leave it again if you could. I could never say no to this.
THE WOW SIGNAL MAY OR MAY NOT BE REAL!IT COULD EXIST. I know one thing: SIGNALING DOES EXIST! WE ARE THE UNIVERSE TOO! SIGNALING EXISTS! AND WONDERING ABOUT EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE IS VERY MUCH A PART OF US AND IS VERY VERY VERY VERY WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did get to look at some drawing books. I had a brand new drawing conclusion. I'm starting to cast off any other painterly way of drawing and only take it from my starting point, if then I want to deviate. This is NEW! This is a brand new thought I have never had ever. This new thought is good because it tells me, in the time I have been working, my body has changed, I have changed. I never had this thought this before. It's an emotional preference, not added up intellectually. ( I hope I am not thinking this because I am so tired.) I want to change some thoughts because it means, my body is changing back to thin and my personalty destiny is coming into focus. I want to be me, what I was supposed to be, not have it always blocked by a fat gut and thin legs. This fat is coming off me and my legs are getting stronger and it has nothing what so ever to do with dieting or aging. I'm thinner like in high school, not fat, in college, after I got sick. Something in my backbone. And as it does my thinking falls into place. What ever that thinking it is is alright with me. I want to get to where I should be. I think my teeth braces blocked this or caused this when I was young and I never got to myself! I was in braces way before I was full grown. They brought this on some how. So I hope I will continue to start my drawing point from just where I like and not try these things that I just can't do. Because it means I am changing, because I never never thought this before. At least, I hope, by working I am not wasting time, not drawing. And that is what I have been thinking. Next time I draw I will probably jump another gap and start afresh. Because that last portrait was not cartooned or abstract enough in a part, I still think. It was fast and most by hand, but too boxy. My body has to learn to do this!
I have not be taking photos. I have a few ideas. I also saw a really cool photo. Really inventive composition!
rejuvenated
sad
scared
I saw a fox for the first time I think and had a camera!!!!
happy
Maybe I need to stop and find a guy! 9/18/14 
ditzy