Show's over.

I started this blog three years ago. It began as a way to document family happenings, reconnect with old friends and share photos and stories with grandparents. I enjoyed reading what other people posted too, and at times when I struggled with normal mom issues I could escape by blog surfing and be reminded that I'm not the only one.

But my feelings have changed in the recent months. I noticed that I started feeling envious, covetous, overwhelmed and sometimes plain mad when I read blogs. I hate that I feel critical of my family "Why can't you do that nice thing that so-and-so's kid did?" and of myself "I'm such a loser 'cause I don't know how to sew." ungrateful for what I have "I wish I could afford to go to Hawaii, too!" and that I resent my girls when they interrupt me at the computer because it's become a borderline addiction. Blogging has gone from being an outlet to being a show and I'm tired of feeling like my performance is below average.

So, in order to clear up my head, simplify my life, be more content with all that I do have, and spend more time with my family, I've decided to stop reading blogs and to discontinue this one. Don't worry Grandparents and siblings, I'm creating a new private blog just for you guys where I will be sure to include unedited pictures of the girls that show my messy house in the background. It's time I break away from the computer and be the kind of person I want to be, without being influenced by a false reality made up by those who create an illusion of perfection in their blog posts.

Bye bye bloggers. It's better this way.

Close curtain.

Christmas Cuteness.

I think I'm becoming one of those moms who thinks everything their kid makes is fabulous and uses it as decor in their house. But this particular craft surprise that Jenna made at preschool is legitimately awesome.

The poem that came with it reads:

These aren't just any five snowmen

As anyone can see

I made them with my hand,

Which is a part of me.

Now when you trim the tree,

You will look back and recall

The Christmas of 2010

When my hand was just this small.

Can I get a collective "Awwwwwww."

She was pretty cute at the little Christmas program the class did.

When Santa came, she wasn't too interested in him, maybe because she already saw him at the church party?

The class wrote letters to him.

And yesterday when reading a book about shapes she added, "Oh! I've been wanting that Princess Diamond Octagon Shooter!" Guess I better start searching! We've only got TEN DAYS!

The weather outside is frightful...

but playtime is rather delightful.

The latest winter storm warning has brought some pretty chilly temps. But the girls and I have had some fun inside where it's nice and warm.

We shake our groove thang,

Notice the shorts & t-shirt? Can't take summertime out of the girl.

make impromptu crafts with all the felt scraps hanging around,and play in the kitchen.

Things will be even more fun when Grandma & Grandpa get here next week!

Santa Babies

Crafting competition.

I loved going to school at BYU-Idaho. My roommates and I had some crazy times that I will not write about here because my mom reads this blog. Just kidding. The worst thing I did was sneak out past curfew to get a milkshake at Dennys.

But after Jake and I got married, I started feeling claustrophobic in that small town. We lived in a new apartment building specifically designated for married students. We were all newlyweds with no kids, going to school at the same small university. "Competition" ensued. It seemed like everyone was trying to be the most spiritual, the smartest and the best in order to make themselves standout. One fast Sunday at the beginning of the semester, some of the bishopric were released from their callings. During the meeting, one guy got up to share his testimony and I overheard his wife say, "You go (name of the husband). You get that calling."

Noooooooooooooo.

Jake and I moved outta there shortly after that and I thought I had escaped the world of one-upping.

Not exactly.

I'm in it again.

The blog world is a virtual version of that apartment complex we lived in. The blogs I read are most often written by young moms with small children who are trying to find an outlet and something to do other than wipe noses and bums (me included). But now it seems like everyone and their mom has a blog dedicated to sewing/baking/photography or some other artsy craft. That's fine. I do like looking at pretty things people make and trying to recreate them. But it's getting to be overwhelming (especially now that's Christmas and there are a million Christmas crafts floating around). And it feels like in an attempt to be THE sewing/baking/photography/craft blog, bloggers go to great lengths to make their creations stand out. Case in point, I was browsing a craft blog showcasing Christmas party invitations. Instead of just taking a snapshot of the thing, the invite was staged next to two mugs on a cute (vintage, I'm sure) table and, of course, the lighting was perfect. The photo in and of itself was a work of art. I understand the need to make things look good, especially when you're trying to sell something. But for pete's sake, pretty soon people are going to start wearing headbands across their foreheads in the name of being unique.

Oh.

Wait.

People already do that.

I don't know who this girl is. I think I'm supposed say where I got this picture but maybe she doesn't want me to? It was on google images. That's fair game, right?

But you know what I mean. And what happened to just taking a nice, simple family photo? No. We've got to include a vintage chair or beat up truck in the middle of a wheat field at sunset in an effort to stand out from everyone who does take nice, simple pictures. But now that everyone is starting to use the same props as everyone else, what will be next? Posing on elephants?

BTW, our friend took awesome pictures of us. They were perfectly simple and that made them so beautiful. Thanks, Shay.

A sampling of her great work:

Brandy from The Apprentice said it best when she explained why she isn't as vocal as other contestants in the boardroom. She lets her good work speak for itself. No need to oversell. I think that's a good point. If the invitation is cute enough, you don't need a mug to make it look better. If your photography skills are sharp enough, you don't need a rusty truck to make a nice picture. (Having cute kids helps though).

Maybe I'm just tired of the felt flowers, glitter glue, mod podge and embellished Ts. Or maybe I'm just realizing that I can't compete with those that are crafty. Maybe I need to simplify my own life by eliminating the pressure I put on myself when I look at what others make and feel I also have to be creative in order to fit into the world of stay-at-home-mom bloggers. I don't need crafts to feel validated as a wife/mom/woman. Do I sometimes enjoy them? Yes. I did just spend a couple evenings making a felt nativity board. I haven't posted about it because it's not as great as what others could probably make. That, and I couldn't get a good picture of it.

So here's to keeping it simple. Crafts, food, photos, life.

And headbands.

Because I'm a nerd.

Most know that I was the copy editor for BYU-Idaho's newspaper and that for some weird reason I take pleasure in finding obvious grammatical errors. But don't read this blog too closely because I know I make my own mistakes! Nevertheless, I enjoy discovering (and sometimes pointing out) misused words, punctuation errors, etc. Jake loves this, especially when I do it to him.

So, when Callie had an ear infection recently, I had to laugh at the label on the prescription bottle.

Feel free to laugh at the picture... and at me.

Mom versus

As Callie learns how to play more and more, Jenna seems to tattle more and more.

"Mom! She hit me with that book!"

"Mooooom! Callie is playing with my backpack!"

"MOM! That is mine!"

"Mommmmmmmmm. She is not playing right!"

You get the idea.

My response to this is, "Jenna. Play with your sister. Not against her."

The last week or so, I've been annoyed (ok, let's be real here. I've been annoyed for a lot longer than just the last week but the last week has been especially annoying).

It seemed like every time I showered, used the bathroom, sat down to eat, read, check e-mail, talk to Jake or breathe, I was interrupted. Every time I tried to help someone do something, I felt annoyed because they weren't doing it right, i.e. helping Jenna get dressed. "No, Jenna! Wrong foot!"

Then I realized this is how Jenna feels with Callie. I was whining just as much as Jenna.

So today, I took my own advice. I did not do dishes all day. I did not check my e-mail during lunchtime. I did not get upset when Callie only slept one hour and then woke up with a poop and wouldn't go back to sleep. I didn't try to clean up when the girls were awake. Instead, we walked to the mailbox around the corner and took our sweet time getting there. We raked some leaves into a huge pile and jumped in them. Jenna was cracking up and I'm pretty sure that's the best feeling in the world - getting your kids to really laugh because they're having fun playing with you. We made leaf sandwiches and cooked them in the "cooker." Jenna and I took our strollers for a walk and had a baby in each one. Callie in mine, a bear in hers. Today was the first day in more days than I care to admit that I did not once raise my voice.

Will every day be like today? Uh.... no. But it sure did feel good to play with my kids today. They're actually pretty nice girls and I think sometimes I forget that when I'm trying to control them so much and it's not going the way I want.

I have one regret today and that is that I thought I sent the camera with Jake so he could document "Ugly Sweater Day" at school. Turns out he forgot it, but I didn't know it so I have no pictures of our nice afternoon. But maybe it's not such a bad thing that I didn't have the camera to distract me?

And to further illustrate how cool my little preschooler is, here are some funnies from a few nights ago.

During bath:

Me: Jenna, your foot is all red! Why is it red?

Jenna: Oh! It's because I'm siiiiiiiiick.

Me: You are?

Jenna: Yeah. My cough just like went down to my feet!

After bath:

Jenna: I'm like a daddy.

Me: Oh yeah? Why's that?

Jenna: 'Cause I have a hair on my tummy.

And she did. But it was actually mine. Gross.