Fear

Fear has been ruining a better part of my last week and its time has come:

Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power.
-Oprah Winfrey

Its time to control our own part and take back the power from fear itself.
I am coming for you.

Perspective

Summer days more likely that you notice breezes
Winter days more likely that you notice heat
When I'm warm more likely that you notice me
In the dark it's more likely that you notice light
In the light more likely that you notice night
Hungry more appreciation for that meal
Dead broke more appreciation for that skrill
A bad day'll make you really notice ones that's good
And that'll make things a little better understood.

A Golden Day

September 26th started out just like any other day, until i woke up. A buffet style setup for breakfast of eggs bacon potatoes tortillas fruit and yogurt. Followed by loading up the cars for a Florida adventure stout style; deciding as we were leaving the front door where we were headed. Everglades in September experience something fierce of heat as the weather gets ready to turn and the coast is struck with a barrage of tropical storms and rain and lightning. Angie and AJ where able to join us for this fun Saturday and off we went in a three car train. In route we came across Panther crossing signs. Thought that was weird. But Florida can do what it wants really. So we get to the trail we had intended to hike only to find that for most of the year it is underwater and will dry up in a few months. Oops. So she told of a out of water trail we could take and we went to that one. Cool boardwalk trail next to everglade forests knee high in water. The trail went back into the forest and is usually a disaster of sworming mosquitoes that lucky for us where busy on this day. As we were walking out Angie heard a rustle in the water under the boardwalk and we looked down to see a three foot gator swim into the brush. Art has said that had he not had his baby on his chest he would have gone for its tail. The trail was also littered with some giant grasshoppers and signs explaning local wildlife. A bald eagle nest was pointed out along the trail and has been there for about twenty years. The trail dead ends into a pond of dark water riddled with activity sparking all kinds of curiousity as far as whats going on under the surface. Dark clouds rolled in and it started to rain and we even heard some gators growling in the distance. On one of the boardwalks we watched a mother turtle and baby turtle surface and swim away. As well as an alligator swam up to the side of the boardwalk and was no more than 3 feet away from us and the little kids we were with. So drenched we returned to Naples and started on Sierra's yummy chunky spagetti. Had some birthday cake and watched State of Play. One of the best made movies I have seen in a long time. A golden day.

I WIN!!!

Its official I win. I have the cutest nieces and nephews of all time. Sorry. You lose.

im a mutant

I have a friend that I asked to stop smoking and their reply was that it was a little joy a small accomplishment that satisfied the minds ability to gain control of life for a simple pleasure for a fleeting moment. I share a similar understanding with books. At one point in my life I read lots. I thrived on rare thoughts from science fiction novels and tales of good versus evil. I truly miss that and have recently started on a track to be a better reader. In the process I have recently taken simple pleasures in the classic Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Pearl, and lastly Mutant Message from Down Under. Jonathon has a resounding message of pushing ones self again and again and again and far beyond again and again. The pearl was a good read but left a discoloring taste in my mouth as the end winds up in a page or two. Mutant Message describes a aboriginal tribe in the Australian outback that reaches out to a doctor to retell their story as they have decided the world is moving to a place no longer capable of receiving their kind. A kind of people that spend fifteen minutes at days break giving thanks for the miracle of life and its gifts and lessons and celebrations. Followed by a request that the animal kingdom arrange for their food for the day if it be for the good of the people and the good of all. Living long healthy lives the Real People, as they call themselves, make a point of living every moment as a celebration of life and their connection with divine oneness. Celebrating each year of a persons life only at that persons request and only if that person has progressed and improved over the last year. They refer to those that are not apart of their beliefs as mutants because of the different way we look at life and the connections we share with the animal kingdom. Everything has its purpose. A story we relate to the kids from the book tells of the tribes interaction with bush flies. They come in clouds and cover your body, climb into your mouth, nose and ears. The doctor refers to them as being hell and so for her they are. The tribes people just relax and close their eyes when the flies come. And they leave in a matter of minutes. The tribal leader describes to the doctor how they are necessary for cleaning out their ears and nose to improve hearing and breathing in the harsh heat of the outback. Next time the bugs came she surrenders and imagined trained technicians with cotton balls cleaning out her ears and nose and every inch of her body. And before teaching her something new the tribe will ask if she understands how long forever is. After she has said she does, they say "good now you can learn something more." Its really good. But you dont have to take my word for it...

Grandpa's Poem

This is a poem my grandpa stout wrote. Its wonderful.

I well remember then
When fiber strained
Against the winds of truth....
When sails were set
To storm capped seas
On unfamiliar routes....
Then, A chant was found
A course was set
Away from hidden shoals
Sail on to port
To anchor fast
And rest within my soul.
Now, My ship sails right
On compass point
True light ahead my goal....
Sail on to port
To hug at last
The king of my own soul.

Best of People

Long time gone hey, on that note i have something to say. I have recently noticed and wish to pay tribute to the many good people in my daily circles. In order to that I have to lay down some background info from the last few weeks. Work! I love my job. Ever since I have been back in the Outback I have experienced a rush of refresh as well as a measure of self therapy. But mostly a calming immersion back into the calming outback family. Similar feeling to entering a hot tub only spanning a few weeks. We rely on each other to get things done out in the field and often times things will just happen after you think about them. Through telepathy we have found it works best. Than the kids do not have to see us whispering and be bothered by our secret planning meetings. I mean really, its like an extended family. I have had the joy to work with the same group for the last two weeks of work in a row. With I might add the same amazing senior staff. Her name is Yoshi and she and I managed 7 disgruntled children through some amazing terrain. One such day included a 4 mile 2000 foot climb to summit a ridge for the fun of it. They loved it!! So not to make this all about me its just part of telling you the great people currently in my circles, i was just promoted to senior this last week. One of my personal worst weeks ever. I had my head in another place for the first couple days of the week, but my mind found my body and we finished strong and had a good time. Ever though there was a hail storm during the week, summer has definitely arrived as told by a night in only my sleeping bag liner. I tried wearing shoes out the field as well this last week. I got the field, felt weird and sent them back in with the new staff. So glad I did. I have been working on my chaco tan and have a well seen w when I put my feet together. A while back we climbed Mount Olympus with more good people and other hikers would stare at my chacos and mutter something about sandals. To which i would reply "They are chacos!" Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to chacos. You either know or you wear bulking hiking boots. ugh. Where was I.....More good people included my visit to Michigan and playing part in the completion of a home made canoe. I cant wait to try it out in Florida, as that is where the canoe will be living. Seeing my sisters and their families was the best part of this year by far. Joy had all around with parks and libraries and walks and Zingermans. Such a good time. Did I mention all my faithful readers. You are the best of people too. This feels really scatter brained. Its cause I am about to go float the provo river...

Outback

This lovely peak is called Indian. For the first time since i started working in the west desert was i able to climb said peak. With a high functioning boys group we were able to summit the Indian peak through a few snow flurries and some whisping clouds. Steep slopes surround the peak allowing the rest of the world to fade into the thick whirl of clouds bellow. After tricking the students to wait for the rest of the group i sprinted past them to summit the last remaining rock piles first. Like a dream opening up before you the wind would blow a cloud past and reveal the majesty and wonderment that makes the view from the top of a mountain the reason to climb it. Green pastures would spread out before you while the clouds loomed all around the scraggly pearch view from which we were amazed. A truely awe inspiring experience. One of many that accompanies the outback field.

Since I have returned back to the outback i have come across some amazing experiences and sights. One of the nicest canyons to explore is Judd canyon with its petroglyphs of different wonderment. I think one might have resembled pregnancy. These connecting spirals were one of many petroglyphs covering the rocks. I heard recently that a staff stumbled across an arrowhead in the field. Crazy to think that area has a long history. I also heard that all the obsidian is imported to that site, yet we come across so much of it out there. Crazy to imagine that many people occupying that land, a place we give up for baron and having little to no use, yet long ago it was home to many. A herd of wild horses still prances through the open fields.

Found this little beauty soon after the indian summit. Easter sunday called for a little egg hunting. Luckily as we rolled into our camp site for the evening we disturbed a raven out of its nest. Circling and squawking it begged us not to climb the tree and eat its children. Too bad it was easter. Four eggs, scrambled to yumminess and split between seven guys. We all got about a wooden spoonful, but boy were they delicious. It was all a part of climbing to great heights that week and seeing as the raven or crow does(we are still not sure as to which species of bird it was). The raven or crow is said to be one of the smartest birds in the world and after having eating one of its eggs i must say i am feeling a lot smarter than most birds.


This is how awesome you could look if you worked in the desert like me. After some minor modifications, a mere i heart new york shirt became a constant reminder to the kids of how many feelings i really do have. For some reason when i started work the girls seem to think that i made a better nigel than a Jed. So I went by that for a week. And again this last week my name was brushed aside by the girls to call me Paul Bunyan. With an awesome group of nine amazing girls we were able to summit another peak in the west desert known as red pine. After a quick rap to a drum to wake the girls around 3 in the morning we scaled the seemingly endless deceptive peaks that rose into view at the top of each knoll till finally we summited the last knoll and were able to sit down and watch the sun rise over timpanogos mountain. A memorable experience that is one of many that embodies the work going on in the west desert. I love it.

Back in the, back in the SL of C

Good times had by all as recent events have led to a relocation to the SLC. The old peach house with the pirate flag and all the stuff I never moved out of the house, making it always feel like home even if it was for only a night during the long drive to California. But i am back home again here. Moved to an upstairs room and am stoked about that like someone who buys a house on the hill and feels good about themselves because they are able to look down on all the other houses. Yeah that is how I feel looking down on my other roommates because they live downstairs. And it plays well into news years resolutions to get more exercise by having to climb stairs every time i need something from my room. And reminds me of growing up in the stairiest house ever. A few note worthy activities have included:

-a day of Utah's great snow capped mountains strapped to a board of nar making joy practicing butter maneuvers and switch riding as well as adding a star to my snowboarding achievement list under the feet of air achieved off the ground bracket making a grand total of two stars in that bracket(im proud of myself). Good snowboard days are doubly delightful when shared in good company, making this recent day in Park city comparable to a dozen sticks of double mint gum. (double the fun)

-a joyous night of good provo eats, starting with Bombay house hotter than manageable coconut kurma and truly making a mess of myself while trying to impress the lady I was with my hot food in mouth managing ability. failed. and topping off that with a scrupulously delightful cold stone selection of fruits and frozen yumminess. and frozen yumminess tastes even more yummy when purchased on a cold stone card that has long been suspected to not have money on it but kept none the less for the hope that it might actually have something good on it.

-musical mayhem handstamps!!! Salt Lake is a great place for good music. So many people developing different aspects of music. A few nights have been spent listening to friends play a wide variety of ear titillating wonderment. Not only bands but individuals with true musical talent. I enjoyed a Fhe talent show with friends preforming on bagpipes pianos and violins. I feel inadequite as so many friends are gifted with the instruments and inspired to follow my dreams of furthering my panflute abilities. first step: find or start making my pan flute

More tasty treats to come as the meal of life dishes up greatness back to Salt Lake and the open arms of a single mans life with all its short comings and random bumps and insecurities. People to meet, places to see, and yumminess around each corner.

On the plate update:

Good bye Colorado. Ill miss your quirkiness for now. Someday I wish to return to be a part of the sun winter state that is you and remain here for a much longer extended stay. For now I am packing my bags cleaning the car and saying good byes. Zach and Kristy have been the best friends a single guy could have. Along with the nieces and nephews. When you are down they cheer you up and when you are hungry you eat their leftovers. I sure am going to miss the home cooked meals enjoyed here all to often. So its pavement pounding time wednesday morning as I make my way up to fort collins and pick up a few ride sharing people kind enough to help out with gas through to California. Should be interesting. So Salt Lake and Provo wednesday night. Thursday quick California trip, pay a visit to the home front. Tim and Wiatte's wedding. A glorious reunion of two people made perfectly for each other. Visiting with my father. Grab some belongings from home and then its back to Salt Lake. Where I will become a full time employee of Buck Wild Mechanical Bull services. Back to the single life only this time I planning on keeping a strict bed time. Sleeping is such a wonderful thing. The last couple days have been troubled with cold like symptoms due to lack of sleep brought on by long late night games of acquire and puerto rico. Well wish me luck as the long drives continue.

The village...whos with me

Turns out there are a few places on this planet that are completely deserted. Ghost towns if you want to call them and totally spook yourself out of a cool experience. So here is what we do: Leave behind today's fast food chains and high paced life to settle in for some good home style living. We might have to buy the town back from the state first, that should not be hard. Its not like they make any money having the place as a park, it so far out there. We are going to need a doctor, a few engineers, bunch of farmers. We bring the town back from the dead, grow crops, setup a couple hundred wind mills and live happy there. We could even make up some crazy story about pig faced monsters that live over the hills to keep everyone from moving away. Come on it would be fun.....right? RIGHT? So the town is named Bodie. Its in the hills behind Yosemite National Park. Great location right. There is a church already built. Gas station, ore mill. Whats not to like about it?

But you do not have to take my word for it.... www.bodie.com

NEW LAYOUT!!

So a friend of mine redesigned their own page and I thought, well if they could do it, why cant I? Right. And it was kinda fun. I am going to try and use this more as more and more of those I would rather keep in touch with are going this route. Writing i feel is a good release for me as well. So things are going to start getting a little deeper here as this site becomes a more personal reflection of thoughts and feelings and explorations of the process of life.

EVERYTHING IS AMAZING, no one is happy

The age we live in, come on people paaalease. We have so much, and it is as though the world owes it to us. The other day I drove to Utah from Colorado (a trip that would take months of planning and preparation to start, and a month or two to complete) and I managed it in 8 hours. During the trip, on a clear night after a storm rolled through, the temperatures in Wyoming dropped who knows how low and the temperature gauge in the car drops below the line. I guess the term would be over cooling. I might be the first to experience it and will thus name it heater not working, teeth shivering, spine contorting cold effect, HNW for short. So HNW kicks in and i have no idea what to do. I pull over and call the one man I know that can fix all problems, my dad. He remembers a time when he was in college and he experienced the same problem and to solve it blocked the air flowing into the engine compartment to keep the engine running warmer. So I pulled the floor carpets out of the back seat and put them between the radiator and the grill and continued my journey at 65 miles an hour without the heater until i arrived. Worried, not at all, I had a nice sleeping bag on board and would have easily pulled over and slept through the night to wait for warmer daylight to travel. I was a little prepared. But I started thinking about how relatively easy and unproblematic that travel was compared to what some people have to go through. People ask me how i can do that sort of travel (as i make it a point to make as many random trips as possible) and not get totally bothered by it. It does bother me. But it helps to mentally think of people doing that sort of thing all over the united states all the time. I watched a show about a Bolivian family recently that hikes for three days in the highest parts of the world, sometimes losing their sandals, while wrestling llamas strapped with bricks of salt, with negative degree nights, only to ship salt to a few small villages way out of the way and exchange it for some fruits and vegetables for their own village. Is that not crazy? Why do we let ourselves get so upset over the stupidest things, oh my phone is taking forever! "Its going to space, give it a second". Below i will post a link to a video that embodies my point if my rambling does not make any sense. Its late. Awesome trip to Utah, fun as well as productive as we have a warehouse there and I was able to see our shipment and get excited about that. Also nice to run into Utah friends and enjoy the thrills of Salt Lake. Sawadee, Thai food, succulent shrimp and those noodles that are so easy to lose, in your mouth.

So the link is not working, but he talks about how rotary phones where crazy and not too old, but we would get bugged by people with two zeros in their number cause that meant you had to go all the way around. Or how phones have hiccups when we do not realize that the signal is going to space! And yet we get so upset. Or how traveling is always followed with a day of recovery like it was the worst thing to have ever happened to you. When traveling from New York to California used to take thirty years and some one would die or someone would have a baby and you would end up being a completely different group when you got there. Now you watch a movie, take a crap and your there. Or flight, the miracle that is sitting on a chair in the sky, people should be freaking out every time, OHHH WERE FLYING!!!, but it does not go back that far. Or even on the plane they have just come out with high speed Internet on the plane and it stops working for a second and the guy next to him, gets all bent out of shape because of it, like the world instantly owes him something. Anyway its Louis CK interview with one of the late night funny guys. Its good and I know i cant do it justice.

Oh another point that I speculate about is our interaction with each other. When was the last time you got a letter from someone. How much cooler is a letter than an email right? Its a living contact. Effort was put into it. How much of today's society is based on nonliving contact with other people. I am man enough now to admit that at one point in my life I watched a few episodes of stargate sg1 and in one of those it shows the human race unable to communicate with other humans face to face, they all relied on computer interface. Anyway, how dead of a way is that to be a part of others lives. Or that sometimes we think to call someone and then hesitate because we might bother them. Chances are they would love to hear from you two, and are thinking the same thing. Or maybe the fact that we are overwhelmed with keeping in touch with two many people. Where do we focus our human interaction? How do we make more living connections with people? Anyone, please... love to hear it.

Chacos

So i decided it was time, after countless miles in desert sand and mountain snow (or even mountain sand and desert snow), to send my Chacos in for repairs. They are Chaco flops and i have a hard time saying this but i like them more than rainbow sandals. Rainbows definitely win personality, the way they would curl up after getting them wet and leaving them to dry outside in the sun. During wilderness work I was convinced to buy some Chaco flops as we wilderness type received a crazy half off discount or something crazy like that discount. Pro deal they called it. They have been with me through so much.....



.....new year and a new me, i had a long stare at the old sandals and with the same smug of a lifelong dog owner finally admitting his rambunctious best friend should do no more harm procreating the world with more rambunctious offspring and said "Well lets get you fixed." It all happened so fast and then they were gone. Packaged and sent to Chaco town Colorado. Working in the basement all day i hardly noticed they were gone. And they sent me a new pair. How is that for awesome. Thanks you Chaco's for making me proud to buy US manufactured products and then backing it up a hundred fold.