How lucky are we??

Tonight we got to see a prescreening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2.... and it was AMAZING!!!   We took the boys and Ashty wanted to sleep through it, but stayed awake to enjoy it.  I can't wait until Britain gets to see it and then Cole and she can talk about it. :) Gotta love the perks of the military and a very mindful husband!! Thanks for picking up the tickets Jared; we had a great time!

Mother's Day

We all have our own thoughts and ideas about Mother's Day, but I can honestly say I don't love mother's day...  It's a combination of things, some very private pains and things that just feel burdensome.  I don't like to have to hand over complete control to Jared and the kids for the day- I am a control freek and they know it. I don't like to call people or say "Happy Mother's Day" or all that Jazz- again burdensome- as it is polite to do things like that.... So, here is my run down as a good mother's day- send me away to a warm, sunny beach with a cold drink in one hand.  Let me just lay there and close my eyes if I so choose.  Then have whatever sounds good to me  to eat ready asap.. a nice massage and pedicure also top my list of what I'd like.... But in reality, I just want my house clean, organized and quiet.  I want to be around my family (when they are all happy, angelic and obedient). And I don't want any stress or pressure or pretty much anything that would make me have to work or think about things.  Tonight, after everyone has long been asleep, here I sit, on line, doing laundry and watching happy days. Time to myself- something that is severly lacking in the daylight hours
Tonight, I will relish in the quiet and enjoy the rest of my Mother's Day- in peace.

Happy Mother's Day loved ones! I hope it has been wonderful and happy and filled with love!

Just joking around or getting real.

Knock Knock...

Whose there?

Bumblebee...

Bumblebee who....

Bumblebee cold if you don't wear your pants!!

This is one of those jokes I tell myself over and over when things get rough, when I'm down or just need a good laugh.  I remember when I was much younger when I broke my arm and was feeling awful- in pain and just down.  My dad came to me and told me this joke and I have never forgotten it.  I know I got a kick out of it then and still do.  It is quite simply true, your bum will be cold if you don't wear your pants. 

So, why did I share this?  Simply because I can... well and I had a short conversation with a friend of mine who is a new military spouse.  She shared with me the struggles of being alone- alone in a new ward, location, in a relationship, with out work and, well, left in her mind and on her own quite a bit.  She shared with me some of the sadness and burden she carries and sometimes wonder, as we all do at times, "Did I do the right thing?" 

Of course my answer was "Darn it all for following the Lord's plan" because really, isn't that why some of us make decisions? Based on promptings of what we should do and then we follow through showing our faithfulness?  I know I certainly have had my share of hints and nudges and slaps in the face telling me (of course, ever so gently) what I should do or reaffirming the decisions I have made thus far.

She carried on about how hard it was, how lonely it gets and it feels like I am alone. Trust me I know this one all too well.  The joys of a military spouse; whether they are home or abroad, we all feel it and we all cope in different ways.  Sometimes, I joke with friends that I have the glory of being single with out the benefits of being single. Well, what does that mean, you ask? Well simply this, I make the decisions (for the most part and if I really feel like consulting him). When Jared is gone I can shop, eat, sleep, go back to school, redecorate and go out when I want.  If I want a new car, I can buy it.  If I want to serve ice cream for dinner 3 nights in a row and frozen pizza for breakfast, I can. And and added bonus, I can watch whatever I want on TV and the DVR isn't full of shows that he likes (that I don't really care to view).  If I want to paint or craft all day or just sit and chat with friends instead of cleaning or doing yard work, I am certainly at liberty to do so.  I don't have to wonder when he will be home from work, who will take out the trash or if Jared's going to be around to help the kids with their homework.  I know all those responsibilities fall on me; and I can do a wonderful juggling act, making sure they all get accomplished on time. 

But, and this is a HUGE one.... I am alone. I am a married single raising our kids. And I am lonely.  I get our bed to myself, don't get the covers pulled off me at night or have to worry about staying on "my side of the bed". But I go to bed alone.  I don't get the benefits of being single; you know all the glamorous ones of staying out late partying with your other single friends and meeting some hot stallion.  I get to be the single who scrapbooks and thinks a spa party is right on the money for weekend activities.  (I know isn't it a blast right?)  Well, I guess for me, it is a blast.

When Jared is gone I learn to cope. Sometimes that is dieting, crafting, cooking, working, sobbing, venting and my favorite go to activity: returning to school.  I go back to school when Jared is gone.  I figure I can fill my newly found, husband free time with school work. And it works out for me. Sometimes.  I do get overwhelmed, but I do stuff because (to quote the movie 10 Things I hate about you) I am "underwhelmed"  (lonely, single, alone, bored, free).

My advice, as you are wondering is take care of yourself.  Get involved. Do good. Be better.  Have your pity party, but get over it- however you must, but do it and move on.  Find things to fill up your time (And keep you outta trouble).  Lean on your friends that "get it" and "don't get it".  They all try to empathise with you and some are even willing to send their husbands to rescue you when the car starts knocking, dryer breaks down, the kids are all sick and the wind has blown the shingles off the roof.  Just make sure you have a few friends that have super hero husbands so you have a whole Swiss army knife of man skills to choose from to fix the problem.  Network- but in woman terms, make friends and talk.  Figure out how you can be helped, who you can help and know who you can trust and rely on.  You will find more people who have things in common with you than not.

Trust your own decision.  This one is so hard for me; even more so when Jared is home.  I like to tell myself that I want to share my concerns and decisions with him (and not that I am indecisive) because he is home now and it matters... But really I do it cause I need his love and support- even when I have some off the wall decision or ideas.  A few weeks ago another friend shared a scripture in church that hit me, gave me strength and reminded me that I don't have to follow blindly.

It is:

2 Timothy 1:7

 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power,

 and of love, and of a sound mind.

So, what does this mean to me?  I was given abilities to help me discernment.  I was taught to choose because I have a clear mind.  What a blessing it is to know that I am doing things out of love and with a sound mind (even though I really feel that my mind is full and cluttered), but I truly know that Heavenly Father has given me the skills (although I don't feel like they are always adequate to accomplish the task-- here comes that faith) to make decisions (sometimes they are right and some times they are wrong. But how do we grow if they are always right?).  But I try and I keep trying and learning and hopefully improving. 

Why does this all matter? Who really cares?  Well, I do. I get to cope and prepare and become resilient and exercise faith.  I know that those single married times are just right around the corner, but could creep up at any time.  So, I cherish the small things, laugh at the funny things, take time for myself and love my family when I can.  I also do my best to annoy my husband and make sure he has had enough of my nonsense before he leaves because I know he is really going to miss me a few months down the road.  All of you that are in the thick of it- whether you are preparing to send off your loved ones, they are gone or coming home soon- and even those ones that never go anywhere- cherish what you have. Trust in what you know. Make yourself better. Live and love to the fullest and find joy in the little things.  And always remember to keep a joke in your head, something that you can fall back on when things get rough; one that will always make you smile and take your worries away another place. Don't feel bad about laughing about it- laugh long and hard and often.

P.S.  Always wear pants. ;)