I'm grateful everyday for every minute I get with Jackson. He's beautiful.
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Monday, January 19, 2015
If Only We Could Freeze Time
Tonight, after three days of Jack not being home. (My parents asked for one sleepover and he wouldn't come home) I was laying on the floor with him, rolling around and watching him laugh. His laugh is contagious. It makes me feel a kind of happy I never thought possible. I wanted to jump up and grab my phone so I could record him and keep it forever, then I realized how quickly the moment would pass. Even more quickly if I moved. So I laid there, and watched him. I soaked it all up. I feel as though life is moving too quickly, things in our lives are pushing forward and I can't stop it.
I'm grateful everyday for every minute I get with Jackson. He's beautiful.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I'm grateful everyday for every minute I get with Jackson. He's beautiful.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Proud Mommy Moments
Understandably, like any mother I'm usually pretty impressed with one thing or another that Jack is doing. Not because I haven't seen other kids his age do most of the things he does, but because it's basically my job to oooo.... and awwww over every little thing he does.
Like when he started crawling, and in turn walking pretty quickly. In fact, I don't believe we have a single video of him "learning" to talk because he just stood up one day and took off.
Or when almost everyone told me 16 months was way to early to move him to a big boy bed, or deal with the headache of it. When that time came to lay him down the first night? He laid down, rolled over then just for good measure waived goodbye to let us know he was done for the day and ready to fall asleep.
My proudest moment, by far, happening today. He has been pretty curious about the potty lately. Which isn't anything new, he always wondered why we wouldn't let him play in it. Lately it's just been different. So this morning when I told him he needed to change and he ran to the bathroom door. I just let him in and set him on the toilet. Nothing happened. He just laughed, sat for a moment, then jumped off and flushed the toilet. Go him. Diaper back on and forgot about it. Then later when I told him it was time for another change, he told me no. So I gave him the choice, diaper change or potty. (We do choices around here.) He ran back to the bathroom door and knocked. So, I grabbed a diaper and followed him in. Sat him on the potty, he laughed again then actually went potty... IN THE BIG BOY POTTY!! At 19 months, and a boy, who I'm told shouldn't want anything to do with it. He went potty. Every time we have done a change he asks to sit on the potty first. What a little stud.. I love that little man!
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Like when he started crawling, and in turn walking pretty quickly. In fact, I don't believe we have a single video of him "learning" to talk because he just stood up one day and took off.
Or when almost everyone told me 16 months was way to early to move him to a big boy bed, or deal with the headache of it. When that time came to lay him down the first night? He laid down, rolled over then just for good measure waived goodbye to let us know he was done for the day and ready to fall asleep.
My proudest moment, by far, happening today. He has been pretty curious about the potty lately. Which isn't anything new, he always wondered why we wouldn't let him play in it. Lately it's just been different. So this morning when I told him he needed to change and he ran to the bathroom door. I just let him in and set him on the toilet. Nothing happened. He just laughed, sat for a moment, then jumped off and flushed the toilet. Go him. Diaper back on and forgot about it. Then later when I told him it was time for another change, he told me no. So I gave him the choice, diaper change or potty. (We do choices around here.) He ran back to the bathroom door and knocked. So, I grabbed a diaper and followed him in. Sat him on the potty, he laughed again then actually went potty... IN THE BIG BOY POTTY!! At 19 months, and a boy, who I'm told shouldn't want anything to do with it. He went potty. Every time we have done a change he asks to sit on the potty first. What a little stud.. I love that little man!
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Monday, July 14, 2014
Let's Give This Another Go
Without actually looking, I think my last post was around the time Jack was born. That actually makes me really sad. Thinking of everything that's been lost kind of actually sucks. Damn. I guess all you can do is start fresh and continue, right? While looking back, I know I have always used blogging as more of an outlet. Somewhere that I can put whatever I want and not care who reads it because its mine. Mine to laugh at, cry at, and find some crazy sense of strength with at times. I also found strength in reading others blogs. The real life, nitty gritty blogs that have emotion and show that life is a roller coaster. And thats okay. So, here goes. I'm going to get back into this.
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Saturday, December 29, 2012
Jackson Troy
Now, while Jack is sleeping, seems as good a time as any to try and get his birth story put down.
My doctor got approval for me to be induced on the 21st instead of the 24th. We all knew if I went the 24th he wouldn't be there to deliver. I was so grateful when he said he wanted to ask because we all had been through a lot together, and he wanted to see this through.
We were both so excited, but I'll admit, knowing an exact date scared me a little. That Friday Jon and I finished up a few last minute things at home before heading out for a couple errands. We packed the Jeep knowing we wouldn't be back home that night. We stopped at the bank to get some cash for Jon to use while cooped up at the hospital. While there, we said hi to my mom which just made me more nervous. I know I was oddly quiet because Jon kept asking me if I was okay. After our errands Jon decided to take me for a drive since we had about an hour to kill. He knows I love drives, and usually go on them when stressed. After driving a while, I noticed we were close to my Grandma Reeder's grave. My eyes immediately filled with tears, but I didn't want to say anything about it to Jon. I was really surprised when he pulled into the cemetery and asked which one was hers. He thought it would be nice for me to stop and see her before going to delivery. I married an amazing man, who some how always knows just what I need. This is a pretty terrible picture because I was in complete sobs by the time I got to her headstone. But I love it.
After stopping to see Grandma Reeder, we took the long way back to the hospital. It was probably a good thing, since I needed a few minutes to get myself together.
I checked into L&D at 6PM. We, and when I say we I mean Jon, chose a room right across from the nurses station. I know he chose it be close to his work friends if waiting got boring, but I'm so grateful that was the room we were in. I was started on antibiotics and pitocin right away. Then we sat, talked, texted, watched TV, and sat some more... I progressed slowly at first. Almost no one knew we were even there, which now, I'm glad it was that way. Around 8 or so, I believe, my doctor came in and broke my water. Fluid was clear, and everything looked great to start really progressing. My Mom and sister-in-law, Valerie asked to stop by and got there around nine-thirty or so. We talked and joked, I was having contractions but nothing I couldn't focus through. Shortly after they got there my nurse came in and decided to check again. She thought my contractions should be much stronger that long after breaking my water. While checking she found another sack of water, after breaking that things started moving very fast. With in 30 minutes my contractions turned from something I could concentrate through, to something that took everything to focus through. That's when I looked at Jon and told him I needed the epidural now. The nurse told me I handled them very well, I sure didn't feel like I did. Jon was amazing, he knows me so well. He knows when I'm in pain I do one of two things, I laugh or go completely quiet. This was a completely quiet moment. He stood there and just held my hand.
After the epidural, my blood pleasure dropped. With the blood pressure drop, Jacks heart rate dropped. I can't tell you a whole lot of what happened, because I just felt like falling to sleep and everything went a little hazy. But here's what remember... Six people ran into the room including my doctor, the anesthesiologist, my nurse, and a few others. They threw oxygen on me, and I asked my nurse if Jack was okay. She replied by saying, "He's just a little mad at us right now, but we are going to fix that." Then I heard Jon tell me not to fall asleep. I know they flipped me on my side. And I remember answering questions by nodding my head and raising two fingers as much as I could. When all that was over, I was told Jack and I had a small reaction to the epidural. Since his heart rate dropped so low, they gave him some time to rest before starting the pitocin again. After his heart rate was stable, I was given more pitocin, and completely ready to get this going. I knew it would still be a while, and since I had the epidural, the nurse told me to try and get as much sleep as I could. I tried, and know I got a few naps in here and there because Jon teased about my snoring at one point. (Will not miss that about pregnancy by the way) but all through the night, nurse after nurse would come in because Jack still was having a few problems keeping his heart rate up. It randomly dropped to the 60's, 50's and at one point I looked over and saw it at 46. They started an amino infusion, which pumped fluid back up into the uterus to fake the feeling of water still being there for Jack. That helped him a lot, but we still had to change positions and start and stop pitocin for hours at a time to keep him happy. During the stress of everything, Jack started having bowel movements in the uterus. When the nurse saw that, she told me we wouldn't be able to have him go to my chest after delivery. And depending how things looked, Jon may not be able to cut the cord. We were both fine with this, we both would rather have him taken care of first. At around 8:30 or so it was finally time to push. I pushed for a couple hours, and my doctor said he wanted me to pushed through a couple more contractions then He may need to use a vacuum. I didn't know at the time, but Jack's heart rate was dropping lots at this point, that's when my doctor decided an episiotomy was the best choice for Jack, it would be best to get him here quick with out doing a c section.
My epidural was perfect the whole time. I could wiggle my toes, but only feel pressure. I knew what was happening the whole time, and love that part of my delivery.
Jackson was finally here, and thankfully wasn't crying yet. My doctor told Jon he could cut the cord if he did it fast. I'm glad Jon got to do that, as for going to the chest, I would have liked it. But I don't wish he could have. I was so tired after all that time, and know he needed to be take care of by the NICU nurse and the respiratory therapist. After checking him, they stimulated him and he started crying.
Jackson Troy weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces was 21 1/2 inches long (Jon wont let you forget the half) and came at 11:52 AM after 18 hours of labor. He looks so big in this picture compared to the baby we brought home.
He was swollen and had a mushroom top head and is completely perfect in every way! He also had pretty perfect skin, not blotchy at all.
Because of the hard labor, the stress he was under, his heart rate dropping, and the bowl movements made during labor and all through delivery Jack had to go to the NICU. He was at risk of infection, and had to be there a minimum of 48 hours. I can't imagine my baby being there for weeks, or months at a time. It was the hardest thing for me to hand him over to the NICU nurse and know she wouldn't give him back to go to my room with me. Then to go through all that, and Jon and I go to a room and sit by ourselves.
One night when Jon and I went to visit him,there was a gift on his stand. Another NICU family had had their baby girl there a few weeks earlier and wanted the current NICU families to know people had been there and they were thinking of them. Even through Jack was only there for a short time, it meant a lot to us to have that little gift and note. I want to return the favor to NICU families in the coming weeks.
This is the NICU board, there is one in every baby's room. The plan lets the family know what is being worked on, or a goal for the day or week. We had to take a picture when we saw his plan had been changed to "Home for the Holidays!"
And here is my little man, ready to come home. We were so blessed that he was able to come home with us. I always felt calm that he would, but had that scared feeling in the back of mind. Now I've learned that scared feeling is just permanently there.... Maybe it will go away when he leaves for college... Probably not.
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My doctor got approval for me to be induced on the 21st instead of the 24th. We all knew if I went the 24th he wouldn't be there to deliver. I was so grateful when he said he wanted to ask because we all had been through a lot together, and he wanted to see this through.
We were both so excited, but I'll admit, knowing an exact date scared me a little. That Friday Jon and I finished up a few last minute things at home before heading out for a couple errands. We packed the Jeep knowing we wouldn't be back home that night. We stopped at the bank to get some cash for Jon to use while cooped up at the hospital. While there, we said hi to my mom which just made me more nervous. I know I was oddly quiet because Jon kept asking me if I was okay. After our errands Jon decided to take me for a drive since we had about an hour to kill. He knows I love drives, and usually go on them when stressed. After driving a while, I noticed we were close to my Grandma Reeder's grave. My eyes immediately filled with tears, but I didn't want to say anything about it to Jon. I was really surprised when he pulled into the cemetery and asked which one was hers. He thought it would be nice for me to stop and see her before going to delivery. I married an amazing man, who some how always knows just what I need. This is a pretty terrible picture because I was in complete sobs by the time I got to her headstone. But I love it.
After stopping to see Grandma Reeder, we took the long way back to the hospital. It was probably a good thing, since I needed a few minutes to get myself together.
I checked into L&D at 6PM. We, and when I say we I mean Jon, chose a room right across from the nurses station. I know he chose it be close to his work friends if waiting got boring, but I'm so grateful that was the room we were in. I was started on antibiotics and pitocin right away. Then we sat, talked, texted, watched TV, and sat some more... I progressed slowly at first. Almost no one knew we were even there, which now, I'm glad it was that way. Around 8 or so, I believe, my doctor came in and broke my water. Fluid was clear, and everything looked great to start really progressing. My Mom and sister-in-law, Valerie asked to stop by and got there around nine-thirty or so. We talked and joked, I was having contractions but nothing I couldn't focus through. Shortly after they got there my nurse came in and decided to check again. She thought my contractions should be much stronger that long after breaking my water. While checking she found another sack of water, after breaking that things started moving very fast. With in 30 minutes my contractions turned from something I could concentrate through, to something that took everything to focus through. That's when I looked at Jon and told him I needed the epidural now. The nurse told me I handled them very well, I sure didn't feel like I did. Jon was amazing, he knows me so well. He knows when I'm in pain I do one of two things, I laugh or go completely quiet. This was a completely quiet moment. He stood there and just held my hand.
After the epidural, my blood pleasure dropped. With the blood pressure drop, Jacks heart rate dropped. I can't tell you a whole lot of what happened, because I just felt like falling to sleep and everything went a little hazy. But here's what remember... Six people ran into the room including my doctor, the anesthesiologist, my nurse, and a few others. They threw oxygen on me, and I asked my nurse if Jack was okay. She replied by saying, "He's just a little mad at us right now, but we are going to fix that." Then I heard Jon tell me not to fall asleep. I know they flipped me on my side. And I remember answering questions by nodding my head and raising two fingers as much as I could. When all that was over, I was told Jack and I had a small reaction to the epidural. Since his heart rate dropped so low, they gave him some time to rest before starting the pitocin again. After his heart rate was stable, I was given more pitocin, and completely ready to get this going. I knew it would still be a while, and since I had the epidural, the nurse told me to try and get as much sleep as I could. I tried, and know I got a few naps in here and there because Jon teased about my snoring at one point. (Will not miss that about pregnancy by the way) but all through the night, nurse after nurse would come in because Jack still was having a few problems keeping his heart rate up. It randomly dropped to the 60's, 50's and at one point I looked over and saw it at 46. They started an amino infusion, which pumped fluid back up into the uterus to fake the feeling of water still being there for Jack. That helped him a lot, but we still had to change positions and start and stop pitocin for hours at a time to keep him happy. During the stress of everything, Jack started having bowel movements in the uterus. When the nurse saw that, she told me we wouldn't be able to have him go to my chest after delivery. And depending how things looked, Jon may not be able to cut the cord. We were both fine with this, we both would rather have him taken care of first. At around 8:30 or so it was finally time to push. I pushed for a couple hours, and my doctor said he wanted me to pushed through a couple more contractions then He may need to use a vacuum. I didn't know at the time, but Jack's heart rate was dropping lots at this point, that's when my doctor decided an episiotomy was the best choice for Jack, it would be best to get him here quick with out doing a c section.
My epidural was perfect the whole time. I could wiggle my toes, but only feel pressure. I knew what was happening the whole time, and love that part of my delivery.
Jackson was finally here, and thankfully wasn't crying yet. My doctor told Jon he could cut the cord if he did it fast. I'm glad Jon got to do that, as for going to the chest, I would have liked it. But I don't wish he could have. I was so tired after all that time, and know he needed to be take care of by the NICU nurse and the respiratory therapist. After checking him, they stimulated him and he started crying.
Jackson Troy weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces was 21 1/2 inches long (Jon wont let you forget the half) and came at 11:52 AM after 18 hours of labor. He looks so big in this picture compared to the baby we brought home.
He was swollen and had a mushroom top head and is completely perfect in every way! He also had pretty perfect skin, not blotchy at all.
Because of the hard labor, the stress he was under, his heart rate dropping, and the bowl movements made during labor and all through delivery Jack had to go to the NICU. He was at risk of infection, and had to be there a minimum of 48 hours. I can't imagine my baby being there for weeks, or months at a time. It was the hardest thing for me to hand him over to the NICU nurse and know she wouldn't give him back to go to my room with me. Then to go through all that, and Jon and I go to a room and sit by ourselves.
One night when Jon and I went to visit him,there was a gift on his stand. Another NICU family had had their baby girl there a few weeks earlier and wanted the current NICU families to know people had been there and they were thinking of them. Even through Jack was only there for a short time, it meant a lot to us to have that little gift and note. I want to return the favor to NICU families in the coming weeks.
This is the NICU board, there is one in every baby's room. The plan lets the family know what is being worked on, or a goal for the day or week. We had to take a picture when we saw his plan had been changed to "Home for the Holidays!"
And here is my little man, ready to come home. We were so blessed that he was able to come home with us. I always felt calm that he would, but had that scared feeling in the back of mind. Now I've learned that scared feeling is just permanently there.... Maybe it will go away when he leaves for college... Probably not.
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Wednesday, December 12, 2012
You've been served...
Jack has been served with a 3 day Pay or Vacate.. For those of you that don't know what this is: in an apartment home community if you don't pay your rent, there is a very good chance you will be asked to "Pack or Pay". If you live at my community, it is me who will ask you to do so. So it only seemed right to give Jackson the same treatment. After all, it is fair housing.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Waiting Game is my Least Favorite Game...
Have I ever told you I'm a VERY impatient person. Mostly because I just am. Christmas, Birthday.. I don't care if you tell me what I'm getting. I love surprises, but I HATE waiting... So I like to just know. Jon has done an amazing job with me, I actually get surprised for Christmas these days. I'm getting better and better every year. However, learning to be patient for a baby... Not as easy. Not really at all.
The advice is getting repetitive.. "Oh get sleep now, cause you won't when he's here." Do people not remember the end of their pregnancy's, If they slept at this stage, I applaud them! But I'm sure I'm getting no more now then I will get then. At least when he is here, my two hours of laying down between feedings will comfortable. "Eat spicy food, go walking, run stairs, are you really doing everything to get him here." No, I thought he may just come easier if I really relaxed and did the bed rest kind of thing. Yes, I'm trying all those dumb suggestions, and all I can chalk it down to is he just isn't ready. Like my Grandma told Jon when he first met me. "No one tells Chelsea what to do." Looks like this kid has picked that up.. mixed with the Dattage stubbornness, we are in for a treat.
My due date is 4 days away, and I have 2 days of work left. So if he wont come on his own, at the most I have 12 days left. Yes, your math is right. Christmas Eve. Better then than never I guess. As long as he gets here healthy and safe. UGh......
The advice is getting repetitive.. "Oh get sleep now, cause you won't when he's here." Do people not remember the end of their pregnancy's, If they slept at this stage, I applaud them! But I'm sure I'm getting no more now then I will get then. At least when he is here, my two hours of laying down between feedings will comfortable. "Eat spicy food, go walking, run stairs, are you really doing everything to get him here." No, I thought he may just come easier if I really relaxed and did the bed rest kind of thing. Yes, I'm trying all those dumb suggestions, and all I can chalk it down to is he just isn't ready. Like my Grandma told Jon when he first met me. "No one tells Chelsea what to do." Looks like this kid has picked that up.. mixed with the Dattage stubbornness, we are in for a treat.
My due date is 4 days away, and I have 2 days of work left. So if he wont come on his own, at the most I have 12 days left. Yes, your math is right. Christmas Eve. Better then than never I guess. As long as he gets here healthy and safe. UGh......
Friday, November 23, 2012
Giving Thanks...
Unless you were hiding under a rock, you know yesterday was Thanksgiving. For most, this has become a day of planning which stores to go to at what times. My family always spends the day going over the ads a few times to say the least, but they never really go out to do the dreaded shopping part. Once every few years someone will venture into the crowds. I, in fact went out for my first time this year.. Never again. Probably wasn't the smartest going nine months pregnant, but Jon thought it would be a great story if my water broke in the store. Thankfully (And I mean that) it didn't happen. We were home by 11:30, I felt that it had to be more like 3 AM, but Jon got his prize.
As I sat in line with the cute older gal in front of me and the uber drunk, loud, obnoxious chick behind me; I couldn't help but think about something my Grandma had said this year during dinner. She started by asking me what I was thankful for. Which was easy... I have had three years to think about this, and every Thanksgiving I go back to this very thought. I'm Thankful I still get to spend time with my whole family. Some at the table didn't understand that. They saw a smaller crowd this year, and to them my "whole family" wasn't there. How quickly some forget what our family went through just a few years ago. Or maybe they just don't understand how much of a blessing it still is to my immediate family to have my Dad still with us. I am so grateful that my Son will meet my Dad and the man he is named after. There is a reason we chose that name, I hope as Jack grows he will see every single one of those reasons. I may put my Father on a high horse, But I believe Jack is very lucky to carry the name Troy. And I hope he lives up to everything Jon and I love in that name.
Then my Grandma went to Jon, after he shared a thought she shared her feelings. I think this is the first time I had seen my Grandma do this. I LOVED IT. She shared how thankful she is that we all still want to spend time with each other. She shared how amazing it was to her that ALL her children and grandchildren are temple worthy. This got me thinking, because she was right. How many families have that? How many families have every member stay active and worthy for the blessing the temple offers. I don't believe there are many. Yes we have our differences, but we are all in this for the long haul. Our feelings won't suddenly change when we pass. We are still us. And we will all be together. It's amazing.
My Grandma also pointed out her children, and how grateful she was for them, that they were able to keep their families active. I believe my Grandmother has had a huge role in this. She always has her doors open and wants us to feel as though we can come and go as we please. We all know she will always be there. She makes every single person in the family feel important in a different way. With me, she was always more laid back, (which I'm sure she is with others as well) I grew up calling her G-ma (which cracks me up, cause I now have another cousin who also calls her that. Both on our own accord, both for different reasons I'm sure) or "My Sexy Grandma" This lady can dress, she has amazing style. Another thing I love about her, she is not afraid to tell any of us we are out of line. Although I believe there are times she would like to say something and doesn't. Keeping family around is more important to her at times. With out her I wonder where our family would be. Would we still get together for Holidays? Probably not. She is our glue.. I love her so much. I am so grateful for her.
As I sat in line with the cute older gal in front of me and the uber drunk, loud, obnoxious chick behind me; I couldn't help but think about something my Grandma had said this year during dinner. She started by asking me what I was thankful for. Which was easy... I have had three years to think about this, and every Thanksgiving I go back to this very thought. I'm Thankful I still get to spend time with my whole family. Some at the table didn't understand that. They saw a smaller crowd this year, and to them my "whole family" wasn't there. How quickly some forget what our family went through just a few years ago. Or maybe they just don't understand how much of a blessing it still is to my immediate family to have my Dad still with us. I am so grateful that my Son will meet my Dad and the man he is named after. There is a reason we chose that name, I hope as Jack grows he will see every single one of those reasons. I may put my Father on a high horse, But I believe Jack is very lucky to carry the name Troy. And I hope he lives up to everything Jon and I love in that name.
Then my Grandma went to Jon, after he shared a thought she shared her feelings. I think this is the first time I had seen my Grandma do this. I LOVED IT. She shared how thankful she is that we all still want to spend time with each other. She shared how amazing it was to her that ALL her children and grandchildren are temple worthy. This got me thinking, because she was right. How many families have that? How many families have every member stay active and worthy for the blessing the temple offers. I don't believe there are many. Yes we have our differences, but we are all in this for the long haul. Our feelings won't suddenly change when we pass. We are still us. And we will all be together. It's amazing.
My Grandma also pointed out her children, and how grateful she was for them, that they were able to keep their families active. I believe my Grandmother has had a huge role in this. She always has her doors open and wants us to feel as though we can come and go as we please. We all know she will always be there. She makes every single person in the family feel important in a different way. With me, she was always more laid back, (which I'm sure she is with others as well) I grew up calling her G-ma (which cracks me up, cause I now have another cousin who also calls her that. Both on our own accord, both for different reasons I'm sure) or "My Sexy Grandma" This lady can dress, she has amazing style. Another thing I love about her, she is not afraid to tell any of us we are out of line. Although I believe there are times she would like to say something and doesn't. Keeping family around is more important to her at times. With out her I wonder where our family would be. Would we still get together for Holidays? Probably not. She is our glue.. I love her so much. I am so grateful for her.
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