Disclaimer: I haven't been keeping up on Diaspora much at all, neither the state of the code nor what audience they're going for. It's probably better to read this as more of general ramblings on the topic of gender, identity, and how you code for the mess that results. And I can't claim any expertise on neither What Gender Is, nor The One True and Right Way To Do Things, so please keep that in mind – I'm not here to force my views on anyone. (as if I even could)
(What I can claim, though, is having a tendency to overthink things, and wanting to get things right.)
So, I saw that
emceeaich posted a link about a developer getting out of the Diaspora project over a gender input UI change.
This tickled my interest, I read the post and the comments, saw this post by the developer responsible for the change, and following the trail from there, this great post on the topic, by someone who has been thinking about this sort of thing for some time.
And I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. I closed the tabs, went for a walk, did some shopping, and couldn't get it out of my head. "Is a free-form text field really the best solution? How does that get stored? What about searching? What does Facebook do? What would I do?"
And so on. So I figured that since it's an interesting topic, I might as well latch on to it, rant a bit and stir up controversy so that I can get some page views and rake in the ad money. (Wait, I don't have ads here? Damn.) Okay, so just to get it out of my head then.
So, who is right here? My take: it's complicated.
This being Dreamwidth, I am guessing that many will agree that changing to a free-form text field for gender is a good thing. But I will disagree. (see also: stirring up controversy)
First of all, you have to know what it is that you are trying to accomplish when you ask for personal data like this. There are a bunch of potentially valid reasons to ask users for their data, such as targeting ads to those for whom they will be most relevant, enabling users to find people, restricting community memberships, or enabling site owners or users to communicate with some subset of people. And, of course, just letting people tell the world something about themselves.
There are likely many other reasons; those are only a few that came to mind. And not all apply at all times, of course.
Getting more specific, what is the reason for asking people about their gender when signing up? In this case, it's not for targeting ads – I can't see how that would be even remotely relevant or possible with something like Diaspora. That is in contrast with many other places on the web for which ad revenue is everything (and almost certainly the reason behind DeviantArt's recent dick move).
Restricting community membership? Maybe. But it's so easy to get around that it seems almost pointless. Searching on user data? That seems like a fairly reasonable thing to have though ("no, the Andrea I'm looking for is a guy!")[1]; and telling the world I'll take as a given in social networking software.
Being able to adress people with the correct term ("X posted a new entry to her journal", etc) is another neat thing you can do, but is IMHO less important and isn't something that can always be made consistent across translations either[2].
I basically see two options, given that "searching" and "telling" are the things I can realistically think of:
1: Drop-down, and a freeform description. Give a couple of default gender options; I'm thinking "Prefer not to tell", "Male", "Female" plus "It's complicated", giving people a small text entry field to give further details if they want to. Not a perfect solution by any means, but it might be good enough for helping search work better even when you're not 100% certain on how to spell a name[1, again] – as long as most people choose to stick to the pre-defined options.
2: Don't ask at all. If you expect significant variation on the answers people give, from enough users, the benefit to search starts to disappear; and translating answers becomes more difficult, if not outright impossible. So just get rid of it. For telling the world there is always the possibility of having a larger "about me" field, which comes with the added benefit of letting everyone that wouldn't have used a free-form gender field tell what they think is important to know.
So. Is it really necessary to have someone's gender set apart as a separate item on their profile? A lot of the time, just the name will give you all you need to know after all. And if it's not obvious from the name, won't actions speak louder than pronouns? What if they don't want to tell at all? Is it even right to assume that there is a short and simple answer in the first place?
Yeah, I don't know either. But I know that at least I got all those words out of my head, for now.
Note 1: With fuzzy matching on names, it can quickly get really hard to find people if you get the spelling wrong. What if the guy I was searching for above wasn't named "Andrea" but "Andreas"? I don't have perfect hearing, you know. And I'm still getting 20 pages of women instead of the guy I met at the party.
Note 2: And as a side note, something approximating "X posted an entry to their journal" would be the natural way to put it in my own first language (which is not English). "Her" would be wrong. Other languages will have their own ideosyncracies, and adding more things to keep in sync over multiple translations doesn't seem like a good idea unless you really have to.