The kids are alright. We've done a great job with them. I think they both love having two houses. And they certainly benefit from not having parents they can play off of one another.
That's where it started to get really really hairy. The kids would pick up on unhealthy patterns between their two parents that differed, and they would 100% play us off each other. If mom and dad have very different modes of operation, who's to know what the rules are? If you can stoke a fight between mom and dad and completely get out of doing what you don't want? Why wouldn't you? Why not make the elevated voice ask to please help with the dishes about how mom is being mean? Why not complain to mom, exasperated, because dad only looks at his phone? Why not start a war between your parents when you are trying to figure out how human relationships work together and you see an easy trigger?
I don't blame them. And I don't blame us. We are actually both very decent parents on our own, but we weren't necessarily being the best parents when we were together. Our kids never knew where the rule boundaries settled, so it was a constant battle to pitch us against one another. Just start a fight between mom and dad (so, so easy to do) and sit back after and watch youtube for hours while the fight plays itself out. Boom.
( Read more...Collapse )Hi! We went on a real vacation! Kathy's collection of inlaws have a collection of houses in Folly Beach, SC - which is right outside of Charleston. Since Charleston history, food, and beaches are legendary - I figured we should check it out. I've been intending to visit for the last 2 years or so, actually, but this was the first time we were able. It was a vacation that was promised to me when Buster announced 5 seconds before Bikini Kill took the stage last May or so that we had to skip our LA vacation after my ALC ride because he was starting work right after I finished the ride.
So. Yeah! Charleston! We landed on Monday evening (the 28th), had some nice dinner. We drank some wine which was amazing - since I had been dry for most of the month. We went to sleep and slept in the next morning, which was glorious. We were three hours behind in the times, anyhow - and Buster desperately needed to catch up on some sleep.
Eventually we woke up and had a full-on beach day. It was awesome. I spent a ton of time in the water, which is my happy place. A warm ocean is my everything. I would do anything to swim in a warm ocean, every day. I got peachy tan and the kids got along like gang busters. I rode Patrick's surfboard very unsuccessfully, but very happily. It was just rad. It was what I wanted the whole vacation to be!
The next morning we slept in again before heading to the city for a carriage ride. The ride was lovely. I learned so much about the history and architecture of Charleston - which is truly a weird, beautiful, spooky place. I love it there. And then we came home, maybe napped? Ate some delicious food. Went to the beach for some night hangs. It was a nice day.
The day after, we woke a little early to go to the beach and get whatever kind of awesome we could get in before the rain came. The waves were like a washing machine so Kathy and I took boogie boards out there and had so many amazing rides! It was ridiculous fun! I've never gotten out there like that before. We laughed our faces off for a few hours while we watched the storm slowly progress towards the beach. When the torrential rains started, we laughed and laughed - driving the golf cart through every puddle, everyone soaked to the bone. We dropped the kids off at home and went grocery shopping for a day or so's worth of groceries - necessary because we knew that the rain wasn't going to stop for, what? 24 hours? NO PROBLEM. The grumpy woman at the surf mart wasn't impressed with our glee or our soaked money - so we laughed at her, too. Good times.
Annnnd it rained. And it rained. And it rained. And it rained. And BOY did it rain. Folly Beach Hugo survivors said it was the most rain any of them had ever seen! I said it was the most rain I had ever seen. Everyone basically agreed that it was the most rain that ever could have rained. The tree frogs came out and made a huge noise of it, talking about how it was the most rain ever. The yard became a swamp and we were warned to stay away from that swamp because all the snakes were displaced. And it continued to rain. People kayaked down the streets. Then it rained some more.
In the middle of the rain, Chris Finley and his family arrived from Florida in their Jeep like "ain't no thang" and spent the night hanging out on our porch (thank goodness for houses on stilts) while the kids sank toys that they will never see again in the yard.
And it continued to rain. Access to our island became restricted, but we had big trucks and not a care in the world. Then it rained some more. We went to delicious places to eat anyway. Then it rained some more. Papers said it was a thousand year flood! So it kept raining. Sometimes, we made it to the beach anyway. I always got into the water, no matter what. I mean, everything was wet, anyway!
We went out for a fancy night in Charleston, which was super fun. We did Husk. We did McCrady's. We went to a super awesome cocktail bar. And it rained some more. Did I mention the rain? It rained. Did I mention, also, that it was still fun? Because it was. It was not what I expected, but it was still great.
I'll go back to Charleston someday. I hope I get more sun time at the beach. I won't mind if it rains a little, but doubt I'll ever see rain like that again, anywhere.
Now I am back in California, where rain never happens. It's also pretty great. I work, I bike, I go to yoga, and I hang out with my family and my best friend. My regular life is kind of vacationy, too. But there's no warm ocean. Maybe I need a wetsuit.
The end!
So. Yeah! Charleston! We landed on Monday evening (the 28th), had some nice dinner. We drank some wine which was amazing - since I had been dry for most of the month. We went to sleep and slept in the next morning, which was glorious. We were three hours behind in the times, anyhow - and Buster desperately needed to catch up on some sleep.
Eventually we woke up and had a full-on beach day. It was awesome. I spent a ton of time in the water, which is my happy place. A warm ocean is my everything. I would do anything to swim in a warm ocean, every day. I got peachy tan and the kids got along like gang busters. I rode Patrick's surfboard very unsuccessfully, but very happily. It was just rad. It was what I wanted the whole vacation to be!
The next morning we slept in again before heading to the city for a carriage ride. The ride was lovely. I learned so much about the history and architecture of Charleston - which is truly a weird, beautiful, spooky place. I love it there. And then we came home, maybe napped? Ate some delicious food. Went to the beach for some night hangs. It was a nice day.
The day after, we woke a little early to go to the beach and get whatever kind of awesome we could get in before the rain came. The waves were like a washing machine so Kathy and I took boogie boards out there and had so many amazing rides! It was ridiculous fun! I've never gotten out there like that before. We laughed our faces off for a few hours while we watched the storm slowly progress towards the beach. When the torrential rains started, we laughed and laughed - driving the golf cart through every puddle, everyone soaked to the bone. We dropped the kids off at home and went grocery shopping for a day or so's worth of groceries - necessary because we knew that the rain wasn't going to stop for, what? 24 hours? NO PROBLEM. The grumpy woman at the surf mart wasn't impressed with our glee or our soaked money - so we laughed at her, too. Good times.
Annnnd it rained. And it rained. And it rained. And it rained. And BOY did it rain. Folly Beach Hugo survivors said it was the most rain any of them had ever seen! I said it was the most rain I had ever seen. Everyone basically agreed that it was the most rain that ever could have rained. The tree frogs came out and made a huge noise of it, talking about how it was the most rain ever. The yard became a swamp and we were warned to stay away from that swamp because all the snakes were displaced. And it continued to rain. People kayaked down the streets. Then it rained some more.
In the middle of the rain, Chris Finley and his family arrived from Florida in their Jeep like "ain't no thang" and spent the night hanging out on our porch (thank goodness for houses on stilts) while the kids sank toys that they will never see again in the yard.
And it continued to rain. Access to our island became restricted, but we had big trucks and not a care in the world. Then it rained some more. We went to delicious places to eat anyway. Then it rained some more. Papers said it was a thousand year flood! So it kept raining. Sometimes, we made it to the beach anyway. I always got into the water, no matter what. I mean, everything was wet, anyway!
We went out for a fancy night in Charleston, which was super fun. We did Husk. We did McCrady's. We went to a super awesome cocktail bar. And it rained some more. Did I mention the rain? It rained. Did I mention, also, that it was still fun? Because it was. It was not what I expected, but it was still great.
I'll go back to Charleston someday. I hope I get more sun time at the beach. I won't mind if it rains a little, but doubt I'll ever see rain like that again, anywhere.
Now I am back in California, where rain never happens. It's also pretty great. I work, I bike, I go to yoga, and I hang out with my family and my best friend. My regular life is kind of vacationy, too. But there's no warm ocean. Maybe I need a wetsuit.
The end!
I wish I had stopped long enough to write something every day, but the whole experience was just overwhelming on every level. The schedule was insane. I woke up at 4 o'clock every morning to break down my camp, dress, repack my bags, and load them on the gear truck. Then I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, stood in breakfast line, generally took my breakfast to eat in line at the Butt Clinic (yes) OR did 15 minutes of yoga with this hilarious instructor that was all "Namaste, bitches!", geared up, and got on the road by 7. I generally returned in the evening, set up camp, signed my name up in Sports Medicine or Chiro, grabbed my dinner, returned my dinner to line where I ate while waiting, got an adjustment or whatever, showered, rolled out my muscles, and went to bed BY 10. The nights where I didn't need or didn't get to the line in time for an adjustment I spent in the food tents watching the "Nightly News" - which consisted of reports on accidents that had happened that day, a general run down of the route to be biked tomorrow, and very heartening stories of the people the AIDS foundations serve or families who are working/riding the ride and why.
( Here is the td:lr brain dump of my week...Collapse )
I have lots and lots of other thoughts that have come up as a result of this experience, but just wanted to get the details down. Hopefully I'll be able to write a much shorter, boiled down summary of my feels and what's come out of the meditation from doing a super positive, 545 mile charity bike ride. In the meantime, I'm just so impressed with my body. I worked really hard for this, for 6 months. Probably harder than I've ever worked on anything. The training was all-in. I don't think it will be quite as intense to do it all again. My body knows what it can do now, and I've built lots of muscle memory up in this process. Plus, I've already spent the money on biking gear (though, if I do it all again, I'm totally getting a different saddle so I can stay out of the butt clinic). In the meantime, I'll be signing up for lots of century rides and just really embracing being a cyclist. What began as a happy-go-lucky roll around Berkeley has become an all-encompassing community hobby and I am so much happier as a result of this development.
( Here is the td:lr brain dump of my week...Collapse )
I have lots and lots of other thoughts that have come up as a result of this experience, but just wanted to get the details down. Hopefully I'll be able to write a much shorter, boiled down summary of my feels and what's come out of the meditation from doing a super positive, 545 mile charity bike ride. In the meantime, I'm just so impressed with my body. I worked really hard for this, for 6 months. Probably harder than I've ever worked on anything. The training was all-in. I don't think it will be quite as intense to do it all again. My body knows what it can do now, and I've built lots of muscle memory up in this process. Plus, I've already spent the money on biking gear (though, if I do it all again, I'm totally getting a different saddle so I can stay out of the butt clinic). In the meantime, I'll be signing up for lots of century rides and just really embracing being a cyclist. What began as a happy-go-lucky roll around Berkeley has become an all-encompassing community hobby and I am so much happier as a result of this development.
You know what? I would be a weak, weak, sorry excuse for a human on a bicycle if I lived anywhere but Northern California. I needed to go on a training ride today, but it's cloudy, misty, and windy. It's 55. I forced myself on the ride anyway but only got through like 15 miles of it, complaining in my head the whole way. Then I had to ride to Niko's preschool to pick him up in the chariot. I gritted my teeth through the cold with all that extra dead weight and was convinced I would make it without breaking my will to be nice UNTIL I hit a huge screw - in the middle of a huge hill - and popped the tire.
I grumbled and moaned my way to the top of the hill to try and change the tire. I got half way through changing it when I'm like GODDAMNIT I don't have a bike pump! And Niko!!! Niko my precious son! Says very affably, "Aw, that fucking screw, right?" I look up, shocked, and he says, "What, mama?" I say, "Niko! That is a really impolite word. Don't let anyone hear you say it outside of our home." And then laugh, a little, before locking poor Handsome - with a half hanging off tire and tube - up to a post and walking the chariot the mile or so up hill to home. Niko was a huge help with that, which is a good sign. I might have a potty mouth that he's picked up but at least I know he's helpful when flat tires happen and you need to grit yourself to a task you don't wanna do. That's a good quality to have.
It was so, so cold, you guys. I am so grumpy about it. It was like 56 degrees.
Nope. I wouldn't be a cyclist if I didn't live in Northern California.
I grumbled and moaned my way to the top of the hill to try and change the tire. I got half way through changing it when I'm like GODDAMNIT I don't have a bike pump! And Niko!!! Niko my precious son! Says very affably, "Aw, that fucking screw, right?" I look up, shocked, and he says, "What, mama?" I say, "Niko! That is a really impolite word. Don't let anyone hear you say it outside of our home." And then laugh, a little, before locking poor Handsome - with a half hanging off tire and tube - up to a post and walking the chariot the mile or so up hill to home. Niko was a huge help with that, which is a good sign. I might have a potty mouth that he's picked up but at least I know he's helpful when flat tires happen and you need to grit yourself to a task you don't wanna do. That's a good quality to have.
It was so, so cold, you guys. I am so grumpy about it. It was like 56 degrees.
Nope. I wouldn't be a cyclist if I didn't live in Northern California.
I started training for the AidsLifecycle ride at the beginning of the month. It's a 545 mile ride to LA from SF that raises a heap of money for Aids foundations in San Francisco and Los Angeles.
I've been awash in all sorts of emotions about what this cause means to me since I signed up in December. We are the first generation who grew up with the threat of Aids. I remember the passionate arguments about it on Oprah. I remember arguments about it in school, which led to a massive movement towards education. I think of a whole generation of beautiful men who suffered as a result of the mystery and systemic shame that surrounded this horrible disease in the early days. Now? I think of all the folks who don't have any of the privilege necessary to deal with all the crazy red tape and paperwork it must take to even have access to medication if you are uninsured. I think of the people who feel as if they don't have access to testing, much less education.
It's a cause I believe in, and I hope my friends will help me in my goal.
If you'd like to help (in ANY way), the link to my page is here.
xoxoxoxoxooo
I've been awash in all sorts of emotions about what this cause means to me since I signed up in December. We are the first generation who grew up with the threat of Aids. I remember the passionate arguments about it on Oprah. I remember arguments about it in school, which led to a massive movement towards education. I think of a whole generation of beautiful men who suffered as a result of the mystery and systemic shame that surrounded this horrible disease in the early days. Now? I think of all the folks who don't have any of the privilege necessary to deal with all the crazy red tape and paperwork it must take to even have access to medication if you are uninsured. I think of the people who feel as if they don't have access to testing, much less education.
It's a cause I believe in, and I hope my friends will help me in my goal.
If you'd like to help (in ANY way), the link to my page is here.
xoxoxoxoxooo
Guys, I LOVE our new house! Fully and totally LOVE. I am so choc filled with plans. I am in no hurry to fully unpack because there is work to do on the walls and it doesn't matter because we are going to live here forever, which gives us lots and lots of time to do all the things. I can feel the love that the former owners had for the property, and that means so much to me. This house is so so solid! We are going to make so many memories here!
I've seen a 6 pointed deer walking down our street. I've had neighbors stop by left and right to welcome us to the neighborhood. I've gone to the awesome and massive local street fair. I've been invited to block parties. I've had a few meals out on Solano Ave (the closest business street to us, about 4 blocks away), and I haven't had a single meh meal. Which is good good good because it means that Buster and I can have hyper local dates and save $$ on babysitting, because lord knows we can't afford to go out like we did before... gotta get our Airbnb started and making $$$ first to help us with the mortgage.
Mostly I'm writing this here because, woah, it can feel overwhelming to live in boxes. My kitchen is a wreck - It's been challenging to tetrisize the space because it's a little bit less cabinet space than I had at the old house. I can't find the fucking silverware OR the pricy pro-biotics I bought the day of the move (maybe the cultures are dead now- $30 down the tubes). And the landlords at the old place are, bless their worried about nothing hearts, TOTALLY getting on my nerves. But none of it matters because I LOVE THIS HOUSE and, yep, dreams are coming true!
I've seen a 6 pointed deer walking down our street. I've had neighbors stop by left and right to welcome us to the neighborhood. I've gone to the awesome and massive local street fair. I've been invited to block parties. I've had a few meals out on Solano Ave (the closest business street to us, about 4 blocks away), and I haven't had a single meh meal. Which is good good good because it means that Buster and I can have hyper local dates and save $$ on babysitting, because lord knows we can't afford to go out like we did before... gotta get our Airbnb started and making $$$ first to help us with the mortgage.
Mostly I'm writing this here because, woah, it can feel overwhelming to live in boxes. My kitchen is a wreck - It's been challenging to tetrisize the space because it's a little bit less cabinet space than I had at the old house. I can't find the fucking silverware OR the pricy pro-biotics I bought the day of the move (maybe the cultures are dead now- $30 down the tubes). And the landlords at the old place are, bless their worried about nothing hearts, TOTALLY getting on my nerves. But none of it matters because I LOVE THIS HOUSE and, yep, dreams are coming true!
We are back in Berkeley after a lovely trip out east.
I was totally seduced by Richmond. That place gets me, every time. A front porch for everyone! Great friends! Great food! Proximity to my family (close, but not too close). Only 100 easy miles away from Katie! AND I could have what is essentially my dream house for somewhere in the 400k neighborhood.
But, friends, it is hot there. And while it would be a great career move for ME (I could essentially make the same amount of money there as I would here, while living on about 60% of the income), it would not be a career move in the least for my husband. Plus, everyone smokes actual cigarettes, which kills the air all around you.
But still, all the benefits are food for thought. I am submerged for at least 15 minutes a day in the swells of East Bay house porn. Here, my dream home costs about 850k, which firmly requires both of us to work as hard as possible so that we can afford the life we have and hopefully retire someday. But the food is delicious and super affordable. And the air smells like flowers, 90% of the year. And, of course, there are about a million other reasons to be in love with this place over a place like RVA. Walking Niko to his school this morning reminded me of all the lovliness... a beautiful day with zero humidity, like most every day here, year round.
Anyhow. House porn. I have a problem. I guess I just feel as if, when we buy a house, wherever it is (probably in the east bay), I'm pretty much not leaving. I want to build out a garden and work on it for years. I want to know a house's very bones. I want to know (and fix) every creaky floor board. I want to watch trees grow and grow. I want to know every neighbor's drama and dog. I want to set up house and never, ever leave. I want this moving around to just plain stop.
***
In sad news, I found out while we were away that Sopor has cancer, and that it's in her lymph system. I take her today to get her stitches out (I had a bunch of the cancer removed before I knew what it was). I'm excited to let her hang around outside again, for her last days. She seems to be feeling fine after what was a rough recovery. I've never taken a pet in for surgery before, and it was ugly. I'll be happy to throw the cone away and be done with it. I just want to enjoy her and make her happy for the time she has left. She's been the best cat for me, and I'm super sad to think that she won't be with us for much longer. In fact, I don't want to write about it any more.
***
In happier news, Niko's birthday is the day after tomorrow and I am starting to feel super excited about planning it. He has requested pancakes for breakfast, an extended school day (I guess he wants to bask in the glow of his friends knowing it's his birthday), and strawberry rhubarb crisp for dinner. We are buying him binoculars. And maybe a kid's bird watching book?
I don't know what I'm doing for the party yet. I need ideas. I'm so travel weary and just want to do something small, which I'm sure will feel large enough to him, anyhow. He has requested chocolate balls instead of cake, based on a gluten free mostly dates and nuts recipe that a friend made in RVA. Berkeley kid wants gluten free, vegan, chocolate balls instead of cake! And he told me this morning that we sure need to eat extra vegetables this week because we didn't eat that many while on vacation. Sure, kid, no problem. I love it!
I was totally seduced by Richmond. That place gets me, every time. A front porch for everyone! Great friends! Great food! Proximity to my family (close, but not too close). Only 100 easy miles away from Katie! AND I could have what is essentially my dream house for somewhere in the 400k neighborhood.
But, friends, it is hot there. And while it would be a great career move for ME (I could essentially make the same amount of money there as I would here, while living on about 60% of the income), it would not be a career move in the least for my husband. Plus, everyone smokes actual cigarettes, which kills the air all around you.
But still, all the benefits are food for thought. I am submerged for at least 15 minutes a day in the swells of East Bay house porn. Here, my dream home costs about 850k, which firmly requires both of us to work as hard as possible so that we can afford the life we have and hopefully retire someday. But the food is delicious and super affordable. And the air smells like flowers, 90% of the year. And, of course, there are about a million other reasons to be in love with this place over a place like RVA. Walking Niko to his school this morning reminded me of all the lovliness... a beautiful day with zero humidity, like most every day here, year round.
Anyhow. House porn. I have a problem. I guess I just feel as if, when we buy a house, wherever it is (probably in the east bay), I'm pretty much not leaving. I want to build out a garden and work on it for years. I want to know a house's very bones. I want to know (and fix) every creaky floor board. I want to watch trees grow and grow. I want to know every neighbor's drama and dog. I want to set up house and never, ever leave. I want this moving around to just plain stop.
***
In sad news, I found out while we were away that Sopor has cancer, and that it's in her lymph system. I take her today to get her stitches out (I had a bunch of the cancer removed before I knew what it was). I'm excited to let her hang around outside again, for her last days. She seems to be feeling fine after what was a rough recovery. I've never taken a pet in for surgery before, and it was ugly. I'll be happy to throw the cone away and be done with it. I just want to enjoy her and make her happy for the time she has left. She's been the best cat for me, and I'm super sad to think that she won't be with us for much longer. In fact, I don't want to write about it any more.
***
In happier news, Niko's birthday is the day after tomorrow and I am starting to feel super excited about planning it. He has requested pancakes for breakfast, an extended school day (I guess he wants to bask in the glow of his friends knowing it's his birthday), and strawberry rhubarb crisp for dinner. We are buying him binoculars. And maybe a kid's bird watching book?
I don't know what I'm doing for the party yet. I need ideas. I'm so travel weary and just want to do something small, which I'm sure will feel large enough to him, anyhow. He has requested chocolate balls instead of cake, based on a gluten free mostly dates and nuts recipe that a friend made in RVA. Berkeley kid wants gluten free, vegan, chocolate balls instead of cake! And he told me this morning that we sure need to eat extra vegetables this week because we didn't eat that many while on vacation. Sure, kid, no problem. I love it!
Of course I thought I did this survey every year, but absolutely can not find a copy of it since 2011. That’s crazy! It's gotta be in here somewhere but I've run out of digging time. I guess last year was pretty hectic because we were about to move and I was spending three weeks in Delaware, but still! I can’t believe that I might've forgotten two years in a row!
( Year in ReviewCollapse )
( Year in ReviewCollapse )
This kid, you guys. He's so deep, but so silly. The other day he pointed at my frown lines and asked why I had them. I told him that they were wrinkles from squinting a lot in the sun. He got suddenly upset and said, "DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T say they are wrinkles!" I asked him what was so wrong with wrinkles and he said - "Wrinkles mean that you are old, and when you are old you will die. Then we won't be together."
I shit you not. This is our kid. He told us just yesterday, "I am lonely in my life." Apparently he wants another kid in the yard, but does not want a brother or sister because then he would have to share his room and, besides, babies pull hair and he wouldn't want to share toys with someone who pulls hair because that is not nice. I told him that his friend Alycah (full name: Alycah Zam, which her parents thought was hilarious until the first loud playground reprimand of ALYCAHZAM!! made all the parents stare- so funny) lived close by, but he says she's too far. 3 blocks is apparently too far! In any case, they are our new family to loooove and we have been spending lots of quality time together. I am getting happier and happier here as I build my Berkeley community.
I felt like there was an outside chance I was pregnant this month, and was so bummed when I got my period. What does that mean? I don't know. I waffle on this second kid business like no one I know. But then, I waffle about everything. And thus the frown lines. Seriously. I want a second kid! But I'm so wary of actually doing it because, geez, the first kid almost killed me and I have such an unease about the indentured servitude of motherhood (yes, there, I said it). With Niko being 3.5, it's so much easier, and so fun. Do I really want to go down the rabbit hole again? The thing is that if I don't go down that rabbit hole, I feel like I'll have a lot of regrets at the end of my life. It's such an conundrum. And I know it'll be easier with the second because I'm not a beginner parent any more. I understand so much more now the impermanence of it all. But I know that it'll also have many moments I feel like I won't make it through. And I feel so very protective of my sleep. There is still one hormonal week a month that I don't get much sleep, and I'm not a great person on little sleep.
Anyhow, I've talked about all that boring stuff before.
I could tell you about Thanksgiving. It was amazing! I cooked with a mama friend of mine in preparation the day before and it really saved my ass, plus it was so joyful. The night before the holiday, I got a bit high and decked out the table. As a result of these solid preparations, I hosted the prettiest and best tasting Thanksgiving I've hosted yet (third time is the charm, I guess). It was honestly perfect and super fun. There were 6 adults and 3 kids, and another mom came by with her son for desert, which is really the perfect amount of people to have over. I had everyone come with their list of things to be thankful for (one for every year of life), and there was such a solid representation of goodwill and thanks in this house. I will always thank the Goldbergs for sharing that tradition with us last year. We will keep to it for every Thanksgiving meal! It was grand!
In the days that followed, we had a ton of visitors over. Katie was here for the 2 weekends after. And even between those weekends, it's just been this wonderful wash of spirt making in the house. So much wine. So much food. I was definitely burning the candle at both ends though, and ultimately getting pretty grumpy until I told Buster last weekend that we were NOT hosting and definitely relaxing. That was a solid idea. This weekend we will also take it easy and prepare for the crazy of Christmas.
And after Christmas? I'm getting foot surgery. Fucking terrifying, you guys.
I was expecting a client an hour ago and she never showed, so let's thank her for giving me time to write this entry! Now I have to go and puck a dude up from preschool, which is one of my favorite times of the day.
The twitter holiday party is tonight. Whatever will I wear? Oh geez. I usually have this stuff planned out far ahead of time. Oh well.
I shit you not. This is our kid. He told us just yesterday, "I am lonely in my life." Apparently he wants another kid in the yard, but does not want a brother or sister because then he would have to share his room and, besides, babies pull hair and he wouldn't want to share toys with someone who pulls hair because that is not nice. I told him that his friend Alycah (full name: Alycah Zam, which her parents thought was hilarious until the first loud playground reprimand of ALYCAHZAM!! made all the parents stare- so funny) lived close by, but he says she's too far. 3 blocks is apparently too far! In any case, they are our new family to loooove and we have been spending lots of quality time together. I am getting happier and happier here as I build my Berkeley community.
I felt like there was an outside chance I was pregnant this month, and was so bummed when I got my period. What does that mean? I don't know. I waffle on this second kid business like no one I know. But then, I waffle about everything. And thus the frown lines. Seriously. I want a second kid! But I'm so wary of actually doing it because, geez, the first kid almost killed me and I have such an unease about the indentured servitude of motherhood (yes, there, I said it). With Niko being 3.5, it's so much easier, and so fun. Do I really want to go down the rabbit hole again? The thing is that if I don't go down that rabbit hole, I feel like I'll have a lot of regrets at the end of my life. It's such an conundrum. And I know it'll be easier with the second because I'm not a beginner parent any more. I understand so much more now the impermanence of it all. But I know that it'll also have many moments I feel like I won't make it through. And I feel so very protective of my sleep. There is still one hormonal week a month that I don't get much sleep, and I'm not a great person on little sleep.
Anyhow, I've talked about all that boring stuff before.
I could tell you about Thanksgiving. It was amazing! I cooked with a mama friend of mine in preparation the day before and it really saved my ass, plus it was so joyful. The night before the holiday, I got a bit high and decked out the table. As a result of these solid preparations, I hosted the prettiest and best tasting Thanksgiving I've hosted yet (third time is the charm, I guess). It was honestly perfect and super fun. There were 6 adults and 3 kids, and another mom came by with her son for desert, which is really the perfect amount of people to have over. I had everyone come with their list of things to be thankful for (one for every year of life), and there was such a solid representation of goodwill and thanks in this house. I will always thank the Goldbergs for sharing that tradition with us last year. We will keep to it for every Thanksgiving meal! It was grand!
In the days that followed, we had a ton of visitors over. Katie was here for the 2 weekends after. And even between those weekends, it's just been this wonderful wash of spirt making in the house. So much wine. So much food. I was definitely burning the candle at both ends though, and ultimately getting pretty grumpy until I told Buster last weekend that we were NOT hosting and definitely relaxing. That was a solid idea. This weekend we will also take it easy and prepare for the crazy of Christmas.
And after Christmas? I'm getting foot surgery. Fucking terrifying, you guys.
I was expecting a client an hour ago and she never showed, so let's thank her for giving me time to write this entry! Now I have to go and puck a dude up from preschool, which is one of my favorite times of the day.
The twitter holiday party is tonight. Whatever will I wear? Oh geez. I usually have this stuff planned out far ahead of time. Oh well.
I wondered several times over the past couple of weeks if I was pushing Niko too hard with this bike riding thing. We had a rough 4 mile ride a few days back, when I put it upon us both to ride up to the bike shop to have my bike looked at. We fought for an hour going there there because it's ever so slightly uphill. The ride home was fun, of course, with it being ever so slightly downhill. We both remembered the ride as being "really hard", though, when recounting our days at dinner. I had to be his best cheerleader (yay), coach (you got this!), and employer (if you do not finish these last two blocks you won't be able to ride to the bike shop again until you are faster and on two wheels) the whole way there.
We have a newish family tradition. We talk about the favorite parts of our day during dinner. It's a lovely practice; it makes me think of favorite parts even when remembering the day fondly is difficult. It also teaches Niko a bit more about how days work, because he has been convinced through most of his life that there are two days within one day- he has Day Nap and Night Nap (they often do feel like two days, I guess). Anyhow, in our conversation the dinner night of the big ride, we didn't remember those two slightly uphill miles fondly at all.
He has also been having nightmares a lot at night, with one night having me run into his room at least 4 times. So I knew that something big was happening in his brain. He has nightmares before all his big brain breakthroughs, which is common. I was wondering what kind of craziness he was going to come up with after the bad nights.
He woke up Sunday (yesterday) morning very chipper and asked at breakfast if we could take the training wheels off of his bike. We told him that we were going to raise them more, make them a bit more crooked. He insisted we take them off completely. B and I were doubting and giving giving each other knowing looks, but who were we to tell him he couldn't try? We took them off and Buster took him outside.
Within 15 minutes he's shakily riding on two wheels. By the end of a few hours, he can start pedaling himself from a dead stop. I am seriously amazed. Now we can't get him off the bike. It's so ridiculously adorable, I don't even know what more to say. I am humbled by his awesomeness. I was worried I was riding him too hard, but now I think he's leaping past my best biking expectations.
It's funny to raise this kid while I have foot problems. We spend most of our time together, and most of our recreation time involves bikes. I've stopped walking because of all my foot issues. Berkeley is spread out enough that I would have a mile's walk to the grocery store, and that's just too much for me to handle daily right now (there and back). I was worried that, since Niko isn't really a runner, he wasn't going to be a biker. Turns out, he's just imitating my own habits. I'm not at all a runner, either.
We have a newish family tradition. We talk about the favorite parts of our day during dinner. It's a lovely practice; it makes me think of favorite parts even when remembering the day fondly is difficult. It also teaches Niko a bit more about how days work, because he has been convinced through most of his life that there are two days within one day- he has Day Nap and Night Nap (they often do feel like two days, I guess). Anyhow, in our conversation the dinner night of the big ride, we didn't remember those two slightly uphill miles fondly at all.
He has also been having nightmares a lot at night, with one night having me run into his room at least 4 times. So I knew that something big was happening in his brain. He has nightmares before all his big brain breakthroughs, which is common. I was wondering what kind of craziness he was going to come up with after the bad nights.
He woke up Sunday (yesterday) morning very chipper and asked at breakfast if we could take the training wheels off of his bike. We told him that we were going to raise them more, make them a bit more crooked. He insisted we take them off completely. B and I were doubting and giving giving each other knowing looks, but who were we to tell him he couldn't try? We took them off and Buster took him outside.
Within 15 minutes he's shakily riding on two wheels. By the end of a few hours, he can start pedaling himself from a dead stop. I am seriously amazed. Now we can't get him off the bike. It's so ridiculously adorable, I don't even know what more to say. I am humbled by his awesomeness. I was worried I was riding him too hard, but now I think he's leaping past my best biking expectations.
It's funny to raise this kid while I have foot problems. We spend most of our time together, and most of our recreation time involves bikes. I've stopped walking because of all my foot issues. Berkeley is spread out enough that I would have a mile's walk to the grocery store, and that's just too much for me to handle daily right now (there and back). I was worried that, since Niko isn't really a runner, he wasn't going to be a biker. Turns out, he's just imitating my own habits. I'm not at all a runner, either.
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