macchiatos, the sun & other lies I've told

apropos all of the discussions regarding disability that i've been having, both on here and off of here, i've figured some things out regarding my own boundaries and how i relate to being disabled.

i am absolutely never, ever okay with someone including me/my name in a mi shebeirach or other prayer for healing.

this is a hard line boundary.

similarly, i do not tolerate being told, "get well soon", although i'm alright with people saying that they hope i feel better.

if someone does wish to include me in prayers, i prefer that the focus of the prayer is holding good space, praying for the best possible outcomes, for receiving compassionate and effective care. i do not mind what format those prayers are in, or Who someone prays to, as long as the intent follows the guidelines.

the main cause and root of my disabilities is a hereditary genetic condition that i've had all of my life.

it is not going to simply get better, go away, or stop existing because someone prays about it. and i've made my peace with that twenty years ago now at this point. i need other people to make theirs before they interact with me on the subject.

somewhat belatedly, i am very happy to announce that i had a poem, seventeen, published by brave voices magazine.

unfortunately their website is now defunct and you can't read it anymore.

when i first asked inoru_no_hoshi to marry me, it was half a joke, half a throw for the far future, some time when things were more stable or we had accomplished this or that or the other thing.

"if i'm very, very lucky, will you marry me some day?" some day.

the second time i asked them to marry me, i meant it. and it was complicated a few days, maybe a few weeks, as we navigated what our version of polyamory means for us and what would or wouldn't change if we actually got married. there was a bit of tension between myself and my metamour, as i reiterated to both him and to myself that asking them to be my fiancx and to marry me did not and does not in any way invalidate their relationship. on the contrary, being able to see their relationship brings me a great sense of compersion; being able to do things that validate it and enable them to have their own experiences even moreso. but marriage was still something that was for the future—

we wanted to go to las vegas (nevada), because it's a location that's easy enough for family members to be able to come and celebrate with us, yet far enough away that we felt like we would be able to make the experience stand out for us. plus, the cliché of it is funny to us.

then of course, the covid-19 pandemic happened, and where before they usually came out over-the-road with me for my job and rode along on the truck right up until the start of winter; and our world got smaller. i didn't want my fiancx to come on the road with me and be exposed to the virus at countless shippers and numerous truck stops while so many other truck drivers were behaving with what i saw as recklessness in light of the risks. with all of that went the chances of having the wedding we had envisioned, so instead we figured that we would have our wedding and get married, legally, after.

doing it after the pandemic would leave us plenty of time to plan. we envisioned at first that it would perhaps happen in the spring of next year. or maybe closer to summer. i'll be the first to admit that I tried very hard to cling to optimism about what was yet to come.

since then, i left the job i was at. we moved back to california, both to be closer to my parents and because where we were in new mexico was a little too rural perhaps even for us. we repainted the guest house that my parents had originally built for my maternal grandparents in preparation for moving in. santa ana winds knocked over the catalpa tree in my parents' back yard and knocked out the power and the internet.

and moreover, we also know that there won't be a clear end to the pandemic now.

although las vegas (nevada) is less than a five hour drive from where we now live, any reality in which we would get to take a vacation and go up there and get married feels impossibly far away.

the most recent time, and by recent i mean recent-recent i asked my fiancx to marry me was in our chat window over messenger. their response was, "lmao when?"

at which point, i responded with, "this weekend or next week?"

because when it comes down to it, i love them, and i don't want to keep waiting and pretending that at some point things will be normal again. (of course, things like benefits eligibility figures into the equation as well.)

so we booked an appointment at one of the same-day wedding parlours around here for this coming friday, at which point we will make official our legal entanglement with each other.

safely masked and socially distanced from the officiant, of course.

i jokingly in some various text messages referred to it as completing our legal entanglement and have kept doing so because it's funny. and while yes, there is meaning and such attached to it, we're having a small and simple civil ceremony for the primary purposes of said legal entanglement. i don't expect much else to change. i've loved them since we first met, when the same evening as i had picked them up to come over-the-road with me for the summer, we wandered through a store, giggling, hand in hand.

this? is just putting that on paper.

prompted by kabarett's posting of the prompts stuff, i figured that just because […] i might as well post the lost of prompts from my (interesting) exam tonight (unlike the one I skipped). three (for me four yay extended time) hours of essay writing, choose any two or three, write as much as you possibly can, et cetera.

anyway!

1. trace the changing conceptions of god from genesis through revelation—or from the hebrew testament through the greek.
   
2. discuss the use of the if/then rhetorical forms (retributive justice) through the biblical promises. how does this dualism fail in job?
   
3. respond to those who argue that the Bible contains no internal contradictions and who believe each passage is inerrant.
   
4. ediscuss the importance of authorship in the biblical texts, especially concerning the authorship of either the pentateuch or the pauline letters (paul and deutero-pauline).
   
5. contrast the jewish and christian literary interpretations of the servant songs in isaiah.
   
6. provide evidence that the holiness code was inserted into the pentateuch after the babylonian exile. why is the dating significant in understanding this section of the pentateuch?
   
7. cite textual evidence to demonstrate the oral tradition behind many books of the bible. why is an understanding of (or at least an awareness of) the conventions of oral tradition important for modern interpretations?
   
8. compare the popular concept of job with that of the poetry you read in the book of job this semester.
   
9. Some casual readers of the bible turn to the psalms for comfort and solace. discuss some possible difficulties of doing this randomly.
   
10. discuss the changing concept of sacrifices from the mosaic law through the wisdom literature and the prophets.
    
11. discuss the changing concept of sacrifices from the mosaic law through the new testament, especially in jesus' and paul's statements.
    
12. discuss the importance of not making graven images.
    
13. discuss the importance of allegory as a literary interpretation of hosea.
    
14. distinguish between the genres of prophecy and apocalypse. provide examples from your readings.
    
15. distinguish between the four gospels in terms of their intended audiences, their literary styles, and their points of emphasis.
    
16. discuss what some see as antisemitism in the new testament. based upon the intentions of the authors and their contemporary backgrounds, why might that have been present? demonstrate how a reading without an historical understanding of authorship may be distorted into a stronger and more universal antisemitism.
    
17. compare and contrast the birth narratives of jesus found in matthew and luke in terms of their intended audiences. what accounts for the differences?
    
18. cite evidence in support of the view that paul was less sexist than most men of his time.
    
19. discuss the apparent contradictions in various writers' treatment of women in the early christian church based upon your reading of the gospels, acts, and the letters. as a student of literature, how do you account for these? (note especially some differences between the actions described and the words written (the actual vs. the theoretical).)
    
20. martin luther wanted to remove the letter of james from the canon since he saw it in direct conflict with paul's concept of "justification by faith". defend or reject luther's position with evidence from james and paul.
    
21. discuss the reinterpretations of paul and the writer of hebrews make of the hebrew scriptures. would most modern scholars make similar reinterpretations? Defend your position.
    
22. discuss the differences between the terms letters and epistles. which term better defines the bulk of the greek testament writings? why?
    
23. Tthe acts of the apostles has been called a history of the emerging christian church. show evidence that it is a very selective history written for the purpose of the developing faith. what are some of the differences a modern, more objective historian would be likely to include?
    
24. discuss the richness of imagery in the revelation to john.
    
25. discuss some of the distinctions between the canon and the apocrypha.
    
26. discuss parallel passages of your choice from any texts of the bible. point out similarities and differences and comment on possible reasons for these.
    
27. why is some understanding of judaism and chrisianity useful to appreciate biblical literature? how might a particular tendentiaon prevent a reader from seeing alternative ways of understanding particular texts?
    
28. define "proof-texting". why is it harmful to literary studies?
    
29. demonstrate your understanding of the bible as a literary text (shaped by authors and redactors) as opposed to an objective history. provide evidence from your readings that the writers knew they were shaping the texts for their religious purposes.
    
30. why might one reach different conclusions in a bible as literature class and a bible study class through a synagogue or church? what are some inherent strengths and weaknesses in each approach?
    
31. discuss the importance of viewing comparative translations of the texts in attempting to reach an understanding of their meanings. provide examples to support your positions.
    
32. define bibliolatry and show how it hinders literary studies of the text.
    
33. Based upon what you have learned about the formation of the canon, why were the four gospels of matthew, mark, muke, and john most likely selected and the numerous others rejected?
    
34. based upon your readings this semester, what is the single most dominant motif you are taking away from your study of the bible as literature? defend your selection.
    
35. some people are frightened to study the bible as literature, thinking it too holy to question, too sacred to challenge. using textual evidence in your answer, respond to such students.