Arrival of the Snow Queen: Anna Kate's Birth Story

Today is our sweet baby girl's 3 week birthday! And it looks like that's how long it has taken for me to feel somewhat normal and find enough time to get her story down on paper the blog-a-sphere!

So here goes: (No promises that this won't be long and possibly too detailed-- skim if you just want the basics:))

On Saturday and Sunday (January 25 &26th) Nate and I went to our birth class-- and I was a star student, of course... that's just background information that will be relevant later. 

On Tuesday night January 28th I received the last piece of Anna Kate's nursery in the mail (cushions to her rocking chair). So, naturally-- as any expecting mother would do, I forgot about fixing supper and instead finished putting the nursery together (some would call this nesting). I also took the oh-so-important weekly preggo pic-- 34 weeks! Then, I promptly posted the results on Facebook! Since the nursery was now complete my brother-in-law thought he would be cute and tell Anna Kate to go ahead and come so that she could play in the snow-- I think she was listening just a little too closely!

 Completed Nursery w/the chair cushions that had just arrived and my 34 week pic. 

Then, about 2 hours later the much anticipated, overly forecasted snow began to fall... and fall... and fall. Something in my gut did not like that snow falling, but I ignored the feeling and tried to appreciate the snow. This was about the same time that I started to not feel "right". I couldn't pinpoint anything. I really just felt full like I had eaten too much. I felt this way until about 10 p.m. when I went to the bathroom-- I then noticed the first sign of labor, but like a good mother in denial I ignored it or at least told myself I was ignoring it. I went to bed about 11, woke up at 2:45 a.m. when the signs of labor became even more clear. I stayed awake from then until 6:45. From 4:15-5:15 I timed contractions (which I had convinced myself were still "fake" contractions-- but still felt the need to time them).  I also texted my best friend who lives in Turkey because I knew she would be awake. Nothing like the reassurance from a friend in a different timezone to convince you that you probably aren't in labor;). 

When Nate woke up, (still believing he was going to go into work even with the roads a mess from the snow) I told him I thought things were not right, then I tried to go back to sleep. I woke back up when he was getting out of the shower and by this point we were both convinced I should call the doctor (about 7:00 a.m.). I had hoped that I could just go into the office at 8 to avoid a hospital visit.  I called the Dr. on call about 7:15 a.m. and she called back and said she believed I needed to come in to the hospital because the office was delayed opening until 10 because of the snow. Nate was still convinced he would be going to work after our little hospital visit, so he was getting all of his work things in order-- I was pretty patient until about 7:45 when he still hadn't cleaned the snow off of the car for us to go... 

We finally left the apartment around 8:00 and the only thing I did in terms of planning to stay at the hospital was to put a house key under the mat and stuff my "birth wishes" list (that I had typed up the day before!) into my purse. We arrived at 8:30 after slowly navigating the snow covered roads. This is the tweet Nate read from WRAL while we were waiting to be admitted... a bit foreshadowing I'd say. 

After we got checked in the nurse hooked me up to the monitors. My "fake" contractions were very real and I had been timing them correctly-- about 3-6 minutes between each contraction and some lasting up to 2.5 minutes! The baby's heartbeat was great. There was some talk of getting the contractions to stop and having me on my way home-- I liked this discussion. But then she checked me--- and I was 6-7cm dilated. Her eyes got big as saucers and she told me that I was going to have a baby.... then I cried. 

They very quickly moved me to my labor and delivery room. Nate very calmly called my Mama and his Mom. My Mama was iced in down in Mississippi and my in-laws thought they could slowly navigate the snow if they left right then (about 9:00-9:30). Hence Anna Kate earned her "Snow Queen" nickname. 

Meanwhile I refused medication as both the nurse and doctor had told me they felt her head and she was simply going to "fall out" as soon as my water broke. I started to have back labor about the time Nate's parents got to the room and Nate and his mom pushed on my back until I said, "I don't want it to hurt anymore". So, the Dr. broke my water at 12:55 p.m. As soon as she did this I pushed and as soon as I pushed the mood of the whole room changed. They called for every OB in the hospital to come to my room and the room filled up with people. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what. I just started praying out loud and asked Nate if he was praying. He said he was, but I yelled at him to pray out loud. As soon as our little prayer meeting had subsided the Dr. got my attention and told me I had to focus. I really thought I could not do it and that I had no more energy. Here is where the birth class became relevant. I just pictured myself back in that class when the teacher was telling us how to push. I just pictured her face and tried to breath and then hold that breath and push. At some point I figured out that Anna Kate was breech (that's what all the commotion was about). When I realized that, I knew it was up to me to get her out so that she could start breathing. So with absolutely no energy or breath remaining somehow God gave me the strength to push her out. And she was born at 1:13 p.m. She came out butt, feet, hands, head (in that order) and she was holding her big toe in her mouth with her hand and sucking on it. LOL! And she was perfect! The Drs put her in the warmer and made sure she was breathing on her own and I was allowed to hold her for about 15 mins. It was beautiful and amazing and heart-wrenching and unexplainable and so many other emotions. My heart could only praise God and understand a little bit more how Mary felt when the Bible says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." in Luke 2. 

         

            

Me in labor

Anna Kate moments old

Here she is!

Holding my baby!! 

 

 And this is how her legs stayed for a while b/c that's how they were in the womb! Crazy girl! This is the pic we will show her when she's a world famous gymnast. 

   

The rest of the story is well documented in pictures on Facebook, but suffice it to say that the 9 days that followed were a roller coaster of emotions that I never thought were possible. My heart is more full than I ever knew it could be! 

I think this will forever be my favorite picture of her. This was one of the first pictures we took when we finally got to see her again. 

We didn't get to see her until about 8 p.m. because the NICU got really busy and we couldn't go in. That was the longest and worst part of the whole ordeal. It had been 7 hours and I was SO ready to see her! When I finally held her I just cried and cried-- made our nurse tear up too. :)

  

Wearing her snow jammies home!

On our way home!

Daddy taking her in the house!

               

So, that's her story. I'm sure I'm forgetting parts, but you've got the high points. 

We had snow a few more times after her birth and so she lived up to her Snow Queen name. Her first movie, Frozen, has been pre-ordered by my brother-in-law/her Uncle (the same one who told her it was fine for her to go ahead and come!). 

Spring

"God Almighty first planted a garden. And indeed, it is the purest of human pleasures. ~ Francis Bacon

I have been wanting to blog for about a month now. Ever since the weather started warming up and the flowers started blooming my mind has been thinking about the goodness of God and how the Spring season seems to make even humanity "bloom".

In one of my ESL certificate classes we learned about Gardner's Multiple Intelligences and I discovered that I test really high in the Naturalist Intelligence. Honestly, I think this one may just be a category he invited to make the not-so-intelligent feel like they are still smart.:) However, it did make me realize that I love the natural world around me more than the average person. I think this was instilled in me by many members of my family. All the women in my family love flower beds and gardening and all the men (and some women) have taken me on walks in the woods telling me about the types of trees I'm looking at, etc. I've been catching bugs, lizards, frogs, fish and various other "critters" (as my aunt and I call them) since I was about 3, and you will never hear me squeal when a bug crawls/flies by. My childhood was essentially a lesson in the beauty of God's creation which was all around me.

With that being said, I have started to own the fact that I love nature. I absolutely love the trees and flowers! I have more potted plants than cat ladies have cats and I don't care!! They are beautiful and they make me happy when I walk in my little room at night.

So, I was originally going to blog about Spring and all those things that go with it, but something really exciting happened before I found time to do that. I got engaged!! And I didn't get engaged just anywhere, but in a garden! The quote above is written on this monument in Duke Gardens (see pic below) right in front of the bench where Nate proposed.

The flower bloom on the monument is a dogwood flower. Dogwoods are one of my very favorite trees, they are the state flower of NorthCarolina, and they are blooming right now! So, in my mind this spot was absolutely perfect.

Afterwards, Nate said he thought it was a good place to propose because humanity and marriage all began in a garden and so he thought it was fitting that our marriage plans started in a garden as well. I definitely agree.

The garden is also where humanity fell and sinned for the first time. Nate and I were also reminded of our sin on our beautiful day in the garden. I started a silly fight that turned into a battle of pride and I would not admit defeat. I also did all of this right after I had read an article that same morning that discussed "losing in marriage". A quote from the article summarizes it well, "It's (losing in marriage) finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you're right and they are wrong." Boy had I lived out the exact opposite of that! All of this before I had any idea that this was to be the day I would say, "yes" to my future husband.

The bad attitude and scowling face did not last long before I was crying and apologizing for how selfish and motived by pride I am. Nate of course comforted me and in the middle of my blubbering about how retched and selfish I am he simply said, "I love you". Something about hearing "I love you" in the moment that you know you are the biggest sinner makes you all the more thankful for the one who loves you. God did something so much more amazing by giving us His Son in that "while we were still sinners Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). But even before that, in the moment that Adam and Eve sinned, "The Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them."(Genesis 3:21) In the moment of their shame, in the moment that they knew they had done wrong and should be punished and should be ashamed, God covered them. He took away their shame and gave them garments of skins. God is good. He LOVES us. He shows us what love is.

And we were DEAD in our trespasses and sin. . . "BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great loved with which he loved us, . . . made us alive together with Christ."!!!! God did that!

And so, when the dormant trees start budding and blooming (and inevitably the pollen starts destroying our sinuses) and the new green leaves start bursting forth I am reminded that God has also given us NEW LIFE! Jesus has risen from the dead and He is alive; therefore, we too can have life in Christ!!! This is the good news and I think it is so perfect that Easter, the time which we celebrate Christ's death and resurrection, is also the time of year when all of God's creation is showing new life and is bursting forth with praise to our Heavenly Father and Creator. (I know the anology breaks down somewhere-- like dessert lands where there is never Spring, but just go with it!:)

Today, then, I would like to thank my Heavenly Father for forgiveness, eternal life, His faithfulness, the beauty of His creation, and for a wonderful fiance. I pray that I will honor God with my life and honor Nate as the one that God has blessed me with to walk through the rest of this earthly life. Together I pray that we will give God glory and seek to live lives that point others to the giver of True Life.

Returning to Quietness

For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel,"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." But you were unwilling, and you said,"No!" ~~ Isaiah 30: 15&16a

When you think of summer camp you do not usually think of quietness or rest. Instead you imagine screaming children, loud camp songs, sugar highs, and lots of whining about the heat and bugs. Although I've seen that side of camp this week, I've also gotten to see a different side of summer camp. I was invited to be "the missionary" (along with my friend and former mission partner, Autumn Croy) at Camp Pinnacle (A GA camp in Clayton, Georgia). Because we are the missionaries we do not have a whole lot of responsibility. We have had a time each day when we speak to the campers about our time serving as missionaries and then at night we have time with some of the counselors when they can ask us questions about missionary life. The rest of the time we are free to join in the activities or just relax on our own. So, needless to say I've been doing lots of relaxing and allowing God to remind me of His goodness and faithfulness throughout my life. Before coming here I went down to Alabama to see my Aunt and my mother and sister met us there. My aunt's house is an amazing Antebellum home that just takes you back to another era. It is the perfect place to rest and reflect. So, being there set me up for this relaxing week at camp.


I've been reading through Isaiah this summer and this week I have come to Isaiah 30. I came to verse 15 and have just read and reread that verse. --For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel,"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." -- These words have just spoken volumes to me this week. It's like I'm just drawn to read the verse over and over. In returning (another version says repentance) and rest you shall be saved. The story of my life is that I try to do everything on my own and I work really hard to do it. God has constantly and consistently reminded me to REST in Him and he will be my strength and through His power I will accomplish His purpose for me. So, I have had to return once again to God and his ways and his plan (which is so far above my own and NEVER the way I expect it to be) and repent of trying to do things on my own. And praise Him that he has given me this week of rest to just remember his love, faithfulness and mercy. And it is through keeping a quiet heart and trusting Him that He will provide strength for me to take the next steps of life. OR I can choose to be like Israel who said, "NO!"--But you were unwilling, and you said,"No!"(vs 16) -- and I can suffer the consequences of saying no to my Creator and doing things my own way. I've lived that way for far too long. So, I'm choosing to rest and trust in the One who knows me better than I know myself. However, I know I can't even do that on my own. As I was reading in Hebrews 4 today I was reminded of our great High Priest, Jesus who helps us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." -- So, that is exactly what I prayed today. Lord, because you say I can, I will boldly come before you and ask for your mercy and grace to help me during my time of need.

So, I'm thankful that I've had this week of rest. I pray that the things I'm learning this week will help me as I go back into a busy schedule and an important semester in which I'm making several life decisions.

He Clothes the Grass and Establishes Our Steps

"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? . . . But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:30 & 33

"As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him. . ." Psalm 103:15-17

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Lord, help me to seek your ways and trust in your steadfast love for my days on this earth knowing that you will complete what you began in me.

Identity Crisis

"This overarching story [the story of redemption throughout the Biblical narrative] reflects the fact that our problem as human beings is deeper than the individual sins we commit each day, creating the specific problems that complicate our lives. Our deepest problem is that we seek to find our identity outside the story of redemption. If the entire goal and direction of our lives are wrong, we need much more than practical advice on how to do the right thing in a particular situation. We need a message big enough to overcome our natural human instinct to live for our own glory, pursue our own happiness, and forget that our lives are much, much bigger than this little moment of life. Every day, in some way, we buy the lies of autonomy and self-sufficiency, worshiping the creation rather than its Creator. . . Lasting change begins when our identity, purpose, and sense of direction are defined by God's story. When we bring this perspective to our relationships, we will have a dramatically different agenda. " -- Paul David Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands.

I started reading this book this week because I had always heard about it, my roommate had it (and every other book you can imagine!), and it's summer and I finally have time to read what I want!

The truth that Tripp points out here is so hard to remember during our day to day activities. It's so hard to look beyond the moment and realize our purpose is to worship God and give Him glory --not to make ourselves happy. I am not Lane Brown the Mississippi girl with feathers in her hair, seminary student, and Nanny of 3 girls. I am Lane Brown daughter of the King placed here during this time to worship God and tell his story. That is true whether I am in Mississippi, North Carolina, Peru, Ecuador, or the Ends of the Earth.

Lord, please help me to learn this. Remind me daily. Teach me your ways.

My life verse: "Teach me your way, Oh Lord, that I may walk in your truth. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

La Casa de Fe and other ramblings

The thing I love about blogging is that you can write whatever you want and it's up to the reader to decide whether or not it is worth it to wade through all the laborious musings of the author. This may be one of those blogs that ya'll only make it a few paragraphs into. . . :)

I will begin with Ecuador and a few of the things that God showed me, taught me, and challenged me in.

I went with my home church, First Baptist Church Brookhaven, MS, to Shell, Ecuador to work at the orphanage Casa de Fe. Patti Sue Arnold started the orphanage about 10 years ago with 3 special needs children in her home and it has grown to 63 children in a nice multipurpose building that has been built only by God's grace and provision. She takes in abandoned and special needs children. She now has a school within the orphanage and classes are taught mostly by American volunteers although the Ecuadorian government has provided one teacher for the pre-k children.

God taught/is teaching me that without Him we are all orphans. We are all fatherless and have no way to be at peace with our heavenly Father without the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This truth and the numerous commands throughout Scripture that tell us to take care of orphans have really impacted me as of late. I do not know how God is going to use all of this in my life in the future (in terms of future career/ ministry), but I know for now that I want to be an advocate for the fatherless.









"Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary (lonely) in a home. . . " Psalm 68: 5 & 6a

Next I would just like to ramble a bit about something that God is teaching me at this stage in my life--His sovereignty and steadfastness. I had a wonderful mentor remind me of Proverbs 21:1, "The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will." It is so comforting to realize that we do not have to manipulate or create situations in our lives. God is the one who makes things happen. He has called us to share the gospel, love Him, and love others. When we devote our lives to this purpose (when we seek first His Kingdom and righteousness all else will be added to us) he will provide every single thing we need. If we have a concern then our first response should be to pray to the God who turns man's heart wherever he wills. This requires us to trust God. In our humanity we try to control things and make them happen the way we see fit, but God sees things from a higher and holy perspective. We should seek his wisdom and follow his guidance instead of expending needless energy on creating "what if" scenarios.

So, those are my thoughts for the evening. There is so much more between my time in Ecuador and the things that are on my heart and mind as graduation approaches in December, but I wanted to make this post short and get something on here before my Ecuador experience faded into the background.


p.s. In case you haven't noticed I like to post at least one flower picture and one verse on each entry since the blog title is "faith and flowers". ;)

School's out for the. . . SUMMER!!

Summer is my favorite time of year. There is so much about it that makes me happy: the constant sunshine, the long, carefree days, no assignments, pools, lakes, picnics... the list is endless really. So, these last few weeks of school I was frantically finishing my last assignments and doing everything in my power to force myself into the dark air-conditioned classrooms. I took little time to think about much besides "the light at the end of the tunnel".
And finally, I finished my last assignment of my next-to-last semester of seminary last Thursday at about 1:30 a.m. This was a strange semester because I didn't have any final exams. All of my professors had us do final projects/papers and so I didn't have that extra week of stress that my fellow students are going through right now. Today was the very last class I had to attend and as I went in I wasn't thinking about much besides the fact that I was finished and it was FINALLY summer. I was just there to sit through the last presentations and say a couple of goodbyes.
However, as things were wrapping up I began to quickly realize that I wasn't ready for the semester to end. I had not thought about the fact that I wouldn't see many of my classmates again. Some will be going to countries all over the world, others will be moving back to their home states, and others I just won't see due to differing lives and schedules. As everyone was packing up and saying their quick goodbyes I got a little sad. I wanted to make a way to see each one of them again before I leave Friday night for a two week trip to Ecuador. But this was obviously impossible, so I covered up my disappointment with a few quick hugs and waves with promises to stay in touch.
Life is like this sometimes. We get so swamped with just trying to keep our heads above the water due to multiple assignments and work stress that we forget there are people, really sweet important people, in our lives everyday that we are rubbing shoulders with. I could be learning from these people, enjoying them, embracing the little moments and instead I'm running out the door stressing about what I have to do tonight and tomorrow. And before I realize it the days are gone and so are the chances to enjoy those people.
I hope that this will serve as a reminder for me to cherish moments and friendships while I can. But I also must embrace the inevitable change that comes with this phase of life. God is my strength, fortress and rock. He is the one who never changes and it is with his strength that I have the energy to love those around me.
Those are my thoughts for the day.


For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:. . . a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1&2