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[life] At least the fever broke
Dec. 6th, 2025 09:37 pmGot both my flu and Covid vaccine boosters on Friday, right after work. Like I always do, I got the shots in the same arm. Like I always do, I started feeling like crap shortly after, culminating in a night of poor sleep, a devastating headache that lasted all night and most of today, and a fever. The fever's finally broken, and the headache is fading. My arm is still sore and stiff, but I think I should be good tomorrow.
Downside is that I missed hotpot night with the Cabal because of it. I was too dizzy and in pain to be good company, and the noise, heat, and light would've made me too nauseous to eat. But having the worst of the symptoms fade about an hour after everyone wrapped up is still a bummer.
At least I treated myself to a (too) sweet treat right after the shot. Bought pastries from Tous le Jours for everyone after my shots, and I got a hazelnut chocolate spread filled chocolate muffin for myself. Delicious, but extremely tricky to eat while walking home on icy sidewalks in the dark. While one arm was getting sore. And carrying all of my work bags. Sigh. The ice has made me walk less, which means I have to be stricter about my diet since I can't stave off the glucose spikes as easily.
Downside is that I missed hotpot night with the Cabal because of it. I was too dizzy and in pain to be good company, and the noise, heat, and light would've made me too nauseous to eat. But having the worst of the symptoms fade about an hour after everyone wrapped up is still a bummer.
At least I treated myself to a (too) sweet treat right after the shot. Bought pastries from Tous le Jours for everyone after my shots, and I got a hazelnut chocolate spread filled chocolate muffin for myself. Delicious, but extremely tricky to eat while walking home on icy sidewalks in the dark. While one arm was getting sore. And carrying all of my work bags. Sigh. The ice has made me walk less, which means I have to be stricter about my diet since I can't stave off the glucose spikes as easily.
 |  sick |
[life] I need new snow boots
Dec. 2nd, 2025 11:30 amFirst big snow of the year, and this is how I find out my snow boots have finally kicked the bucket and are no longer waterproof. 🙃
My socks are soaked past the ankle. This day cannot end fast enough. 😩
EDIT: They were still wet when I left work. As were my socks. I threw them out. No more betrayal from thee, wretch.
My socks are soaked past the ankle. This day cannot end fast enough. 😩
EDIT: They were still wet when I left work. As were my socks. I threw them out. No more betrayal from thee, wretch.
 | cold |
I say I miss it when fandom was fun, but I wonder if it's actually less fun, or if I was simply more ignorant about the more negative parts of fandom.
And then I remember Twitter still exists and is still, somehow a major fandom hub and go, no. I'm not wrong. Fandom was more fun when technological limits prevented us from seeing everything from everyone all the damn time.
Anyway, I'm alive and I'm writing, of all things, Mydei/Phainon/Cyrene fic from Honkai Star Rail. Threesomes still are my weakness.
And then I remember Twitter still exists and is still, somehow a major fandom hub and go, no. I'm not wrong. Fandom was more fun when technological limits prevented us from seeing everything from everyone all the damn time.
Anyway, I'm alive and I'm writing, of all things, Mydei/Phainon/Cyrene fic from Honkai Star Rail. Threesomes still are my weakness.
[crit role] Blue Bardic Club
Dec. 12th, 2024 01:48 pmEver since Robbie said Dorian's top song would be Pink Pony Club, I haven't been able to get this out of my mind
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
 | tired |
[dnd] DND Beyond is hard to quit
Nov. 29th, 2024 08:27 pmAs the title says, D&D Beyond is hard to quit. I used it for two campaigns, it's a great resource, it's easy to use, and it makes character building and management a breeze.
But I'm not moving to the 2024 rules, I don't like Hasbro, and I don't want to support them anymore. But trying to find an alternative is so hard. I have physical books, but not all of them. I have various online resources, but I'm running an in person game where not all of the players have access to electronics during the game. And for some of my players, they don't want to use a tablet during their games for some things and paper for others.
I'm going to make a bunch of print outs for everyone after session 0, but man, going over how to build characters the "old fashioned way" takes so much longer than the D&D Beyond guided method. We're also having Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, the same night as session 0. Hopefully there will be enough time and energy for everything.
But I'm not moving to the 2024 rules, I don't like Hasbro, and I don't want to support them anymore. But trying to find an alternative is so hard. I have physical books, but not all of them. I have various online resources, but I'm running an in person game where not all of the players have access to electronics during the game. And for some of my players, they don't want to use a tablet during their games for some things and paper for others.
I'm going to make a bunch of print outs for everyone after session 0, but man, going over how to build characters the "old fashioned way" takes so much longer than the D&D Beyond guided method. We're also having Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, the same night as session 0. Hopefully there will be enough time and energy for everything.
 | thoughtful |
[fic] hhhhhhhh
Jan. 5th, 2020 02:53 pmPersona 5 Royal slammed me headfirst back into the Persona fandom. I'm writing fic, but unlike the first time I tangoed with the game, I'm actually posting the fic instead of hoarding it to myself. Which means I'm finishing it.
Thank god for AO3's ability to post anonymously.
I really want to talk about Royal with someone, but I've got such bad online social anxiety in my old age. There's a lot of me just not wanting to talk to the people in the fandom, too; nothing against them, but they're all, well, so young and I feel a strong disconnect with them. Also, I am one of those rare people who prioritizes lore over character, and character seems to be all anyone wants to talk about...
weh
Thank god for AO3's ability to post anonymously.
I really want to talk about Royal with someone, but I've got such bad online social anxiety in my old age. There's a lot of me just not wanting to talk to the people in the fandom, too; nothing against them, but they're all, well, so young and I feel a strong disconnect with them. Also, I am one of those rare people who prioritizes lore over character, and character seems to be all anyone wants to talk about...
weh
 | lonely Nocturne OST |
[writing] Camp NaNo
Jun. 25th, 2019 06:12 pmCamp NaNoWriMo starts in five days, and I haven't decided if I'm going to participate yet or not, never mind what I'll write if I do.
I've been in a slump since the beginning of the month, going from writing every day to writing....nothing. at all. for many days.
My participation in fandom has taken a nosedive, too. Wheeee, brain juice tank going empty.
I've been in a slump since the beginning of the month, going from writing every day to writing....nothing. at all. for many days.
My participation in fandom has taken a nosedive, too. Wheeee, brain juice tank going empty.
 | exhausted |
Having one of those weeks where I'm just hating everything I write, hating how soulless my prose is, and absolutely despising how verbose I am.
Part of my problem with writing is that I trust neither the audience nor myself, which is a symptom of me not being able to get into a place where I'm vulnerable enough to just write without overthinking it. Ugh.
Part of my problem with writing is that I trust neither the audience nor myself, which is a symptom of me not being able to get into a place where I'm vulnerable enough to just write without overthinking it. Ugh.
reminder to myself
Apr. 7th, 2019 08:53 pmI want to live the kind of life that makes me unafraid of death. Because it is not so much death I am afraid of as it is regret and dissatisfaction.
I want to live the kind of life that makes me want to keep on living, but also the kind of life that allows me to accept death with as much grace and acceptance that I can. A life that I know I've lived to the fullest, taking advantages when I can and chasing my dreams without fear and doubt.
I'm a long way away from living that life. But maybe believing that is the main reason why I'm not living that life in the first place.
It's taken me so long to realize that I can just do things. If I have a problem, there's always something that can be done as the first step to fixing it. I can't control the rest of the world, but I can control myself more than anything else.
I want to be unafraid of living. Only then can I be unafraid of death.
I want to live the kind of life that makes me want to keep on living, but also the kind of life that allows me to accept death with as much grace and acceptance that I can. A life that I know I've lived to the fullest, taking advantages when I can and chasing my dreams without fear and doubt.
I'm a long way away from living that life. But maybe believing that is the main reason why I'm not living that life in the first place.
It's taken me so long to realize that I can just do things. If I have a problem, there's always something that can be done as the first step to fixing it. I can't control the rest of the world, but I can control myself more than anything else.
I want to be unafraid of living. Only then can I be unafraid of death.
I've written about 30K since March 12th. It was all fanfiction for Tales of Vesperia, but it's the most I've done in such a short span of time. I feel itchy if I don't write something these days because I've written so much so consistently since I beat the game. I've actually completed my first multi-chapter fic since ever for this fandom. I've completed two multi-chapter fics.
I don't know what about this game clicked with me, but I'm glad it has. Let's see how long I can keep going.
I don't know what about this game clicked with me, but I'm glad it has. Let's see how long I can keep going.
[???] Let's chat
Mar. 19th, 2019 07:24 pmMmm, haven't used this in a bit. First things first, did a friends cut — and isn't that term a blast from the past — of several people I haven't spoken to in a while, don't think I have much similar interest to, or just plain forgot who they were!
With that said, it's rather pointless to talk about the past, so I'm going to talk about the present. ( It's mostly going to be about Tales of Vesperia. )
What is perhaps most remarkable about Vesperia, however, is that it has me writing fanfiction again for the first time in a year. And this is where I get into ( my absence from my old social spaces online. )
Outside of that, work has been busy. My responsibilities have increased without a pay increase, and despite that I keep volunteering for things because I've never learned how to keep my mouth shut. I keep thinking about getting a new job, because one cannot barista forever without becoming that kind of barista, but with my tips and my previous raises, I'm making more than enough money to keep me comfortable outside of work. It's certainly more money being made than anything else I could be doing with my level of education and skill, but I've been in coffee for six or seven years. I'm kind of done.
2019 started off very well. January was extremely productive. February...was not. My SAD smacked me in the face with a bag of bricks, so the only thing I did was cook for the Cabal. March is somehow even worse so far, because I haven't even been cooking that much, but the days are getting longer and the temperature is increasing, so I'm hoping I can give my seasonal affective the boot and actually do things again. Like cook for the Cabal.
I hate cooking for myself, but love cooking for other people. These days, though, I've just been eating out or making crap for myself. It sucks because I actively miss cooking, by my depression brain just doesn't have enough juice for me to do it. My poor instant pot and sous-vide circulator haven't been touched by me in weeks. Whoops.
With that said, it's rather pointless to talk about the past, so I'm going to talk about the present. ( It's mostly going to be about Tales of Vesperia. )
What is perhaps most remarkable about Vesperia, however, is that it has me writing fanfiction again for the first time in a year. And this is where I get into ( my absence from my old social spaces online. )
Outside of that, work has been busy. My responsibilities have increased without a pay increase, and despite that I keep volunteering for things because I've never learned how to keep my mouth shut. I keep thinking about getting a new job, because one cannot barista forever without becoming that kind of barista, but with my tips and my previous raises, I'm making more than enough money to keep me comfortable outside of work. It's certainly more money being made than anything else I could be doing with my level of education and skill, but I've been in coffee for six or seven years. I'm kind of done.
2019 started off very well. January was extremely productive. February...was not. My SAD smacked me in the face with a bag of bricks, so the only thing I did was cook for the Cabal. March is somehow even worse so far, because I haven't even been cooking that much, but the days are getting longer and the temperature is increasing, so I'm hoping I can give my seasonal affective the boot and actually do things again. Like cook for the Cabal.
I hate cooking for myself, but love cooking for other people. These days, though, I've just been eating out or making crap for myself. It sucks because I actively miss cooking, by my depression brain just doesn't have enough juice for me to do it. My poor instant pot and sous-vide circulator haven't been touched by me in weeks. Whoops.
 | mellow |
[life] it goes on
Mar. 14th, 2017 09:58 pmA lot of shit went down in the past few months. The most memorable bits weren't necessarily the pleasant ones (Boil water advisory in the city + working in a coffee shop that stayed open + boiling water manually and doing 260+ dollars an hour = FUCKING MADNESS), but overall life's been trending neutrally.
Made fathead pizza today and low-carb peanut butter ice cream. Almond meal is expensive, but for now, it's cheaper than buying a food processor.
Trying to be more mindful of that fact that I can't avoid myself forever. I've been micro-journaling in my planners for the past year and a half, and it's nice being able to go back and actually remember the things I've done and the people I spent my time with. It's nice to be able to go back and just remember things about my recent life. It's probably silly to be nostalgic for things that happened only a few months ago, but it's a new sensation for me, and that novelty has yet to wear off.
I'm still having problems doing it consistently, but I've kind of understood that I'll never be able to really keep my sense of time straight. Even when looking at a timeline of events, things that happened yesterday and things that happened three years ago feels the same distance away. It's not necessarily all right, but it's how my brain works. I just have to keep in mind that's not how anyone else's brain works.
Made fathead pizza today and low-carb peanut butter ice cream. Almond meal is expensive, but for now, it's cheaper than buying a food processor.
Trying to be more mindful of that fact that I can't avoid myself forever. I've been micro-journaling in my planners for the past year and a half, and it's nice being able to go back and actually remember the things I've done and the people I spent my time with. It's nice to be able to go back and just remember things about my recent life. It's probably silly to be nostalgic for things that happened only a few months ago, but it's a new sensation for me, and that novelty has yet to wear off.
I'm still having problems doing it consistently, but I've kind of understood that I'll never be able to really keep my sense of time straight. Even when looking at a timeline of events, things that happened yesterday and things that happened three years ago feels the same distance away. It's not necessarily all right, but it's how my brain works. I just have to keep in mind that's not how anyone else's brain works.
 | relaxed |
[life] what
Nov. 15th, 2016 04:09 pmIn other news, they decided to shut down the water on our street without warning so they could work on the pipes, which would be great if they, ya know, gave us warning for it.
But over 70% of the people who live here are black, and the upper half of the street is section 8, so whatever, right?
Seriously, I looked and the only warning I could find was on Pittsburgh's Water and Sewer Authority's Twitter page. And it was a warning for the street next to ours, which is predominantly white. And also the majority of the people who live their are homeowners.
People keep saying that minorities are looking too deeply into things, but when shit like this happens, it's really fucking hard not to.
UPDATE: I tweeted at them and they told me we'd be without water until midnight. I'm fucking done.
But over 70% of the people who live here are black, and the upper half of the street is section 8, so whatever, right?
Seriously, I looked and the only warning I could find was on Pittsburgh's Water and Sewer Authority's Twitter page. And it was a warning for the street next to ours, which is predominantly white. And also the majority of the people who live their are homeowners.
People keep saying that minorities are looking too deeply into things, but when shit like this happens, it's really fucking hard not to.
UPDATE: I tweeted at them and they told me we'd be without water until midnight. I'm fucking done.
