春节。乙巳蛇年

 不知不觉，2025 了。

时间，已不像沙漏般慢慢流逝，而是像沙漠的风暴一般，狂卷而去。

在德国，是除夕，在家乡已是大年初一。

今年，是我的本命年，真的感觉到自己老大不小了。年长了，就会常怀念过去，尤其是无忧无虑的时期。

这是第一回，一个人在国外过年，真的感受到了欢乐是大家的，只有我是孤独的。

社交软件上全是朋友家人的聚会和团圆饭，原来远嫁到不同的国度，真的会有很大的反差。

明天没有公共假期，所以我拿了自己的年假。想着好好去走一走，吃一吃，买一买。

写着都有点热泪盈眶了。但大年初一，还是不好落泪。

祝愿新的一年，事事顺利，平安健康，财源滚滚来！

蛇年大吉！

修改版：

不知不觉，2025年悄然来临。

时光，不再如沙漏般悠悠流淌，而是如沙漠中的风暴，呼啸而过，掩去了岁月的痕迹。

在德国，今天是除夕，而在我的故乡，已悄然迎来了大年初一。

今年，是我的本命年。猛然间，才意识到自己早已不再年轻。岁月催人老，岁月也总让人怀念曾经，那段无忧无虑的时光，仿佛已是遥远的梦境。

这是我第一次在异国他乡独自度过春节，深切感受到，节日的欢乐仿佛是属于所有人的，唯独我，一个人，置身其中的孤单与寂寞。社交平台上，朋友和家人们的团圆饭和欢聚时刻如潮水般涌来，而我，远在他乡，才真正体会到“远嫁他国”的巨大反差。

明天，德国没有公共假期，因此我决定请一天年假，计划独自去走走，吃吃，买买，尽管这些看似简单的活动，却仿佛承载了我满心的期许与憧憬。写下这些，眼眶竟有些湿润，但大年初一，怎能让泪水溢出眼眶？

愿新的一年，所有的期望都能实现，愿平安、健康常伴左右，愿财富与好运如滚滚波涛般涌向我。

蛇年大吉，万事如意！

Ein neues Kapitel aufschlagen

Ich kann es kaum glauben, der letzte Blogpost war im Juli 2021.

Die Zeit vergeht so schnell.

Heute ist der 11. Oktober 2023. Auch mein Familienstand hat sich geändert.
Von ledig zu verheiratet.

Seit dem 1. Juli bin ich in Deutschland angekommen. Danach habe ich zwei Wochen Urlaub mit meiner jüngeren Schwester verbracht, natürlich mit meinem Mann, damals mein Freund, und ihrem Freund, jetzt Verlobter.

Es ist nicht einfach, von Malaysia nach Deutschland zu ziehen. Aber ich habe mich dafür entschieden, also muss ich mich damit abfinden. Zum Glück behalte ich meinen Job, so dass ich hier schon Geld verdienen kann.

Es war ein komisches Gefühl. Ich dachte, dass ich das Essen in Malaysia sehr vermissen würde, dass ich immer Heimweh haben würde, aber manchmal finde ich, dass es nicht so schwer ist, wie ich es mir vorgestellt habe.

Natürlich vermisse ich meine Mutter, meine Familie, meine Freunde und so weiter.

Andererseits genieße ich auch das Leben hier.

Es ist einfacher, entspannter und leichter.

Randomly

 It has been months since I last stepped in here, reading my own blogpost, reminiscing the sweet old days.

The situation not getting better after vaccines started rolling off. The cases are rising, from 3 figures to 4, and now 5. Hospital getting more patients, lack of ICU beds, lack of respiratory equipments.

Last year, the whole world was praising us for doing a good job, early of July with 0 case. Everything changed since the election in Sabah. Things gone out of control since then.

I'm lucky that I got a job back in January. Having a job at time like this make things different. My life and exploration didn't stop due to covid, instead the new job is nothing like before. Total new area to explore.

I was confident in my previous job. It's time for me to find more confident in my new field. 

Just a random crap of my update. Probably will write a proper post next round.

Lack of patience is my down part.

2020 。 2021

This year, everyone experienced chinese new year in different way than before. 

Not able to have reunion dinner with family due to the restriction.

Virtual gathering and virtual angpau because couldn't visit each other physically.

Restaurants provide take away and delivery services as dine in were forbidden.

All sort of gatherings are prohibited.

CNY atmosphere is hardly there.

Not to mention those who always travel oversea during chinese new year, this year has to stay home instead.

Around one year ago, a type of virus appeared in our world. It was started quietly, before any precautions were set, the virus transmitted to every corner of the world, due to globalization. When human aware of the virus, they don't really take it serious, as no one believe it will last for long. It's from the family of SARS, although SARS spread as well and killed quite a number of human, but it ended in short time too, before become pandemic. However, the condition slowly ran out of hand. More and more people were infected and the death toll slowly increasing. Before we realized how serious it is, the virus turned into pandemic. Almost every country in this earth was infected. Economy everywhere affected. Healthcare system collapsed as they couldn't cope with the enormous number of patients anymore. 

And now, it's 2021. Vaccine were invented, though no one know how high is the reliability of them. Would the condition getting better soon? The contagious rate will reduced, or vice versa? Everyone's plan was affected, dragged, or delayed. 2020 is an unforgettable year. We spent most of our time staying at home, because that was the best way for us to fight the virus. We stocked up food at home, we cooked our own meals, we changed our working environment, we live a new lifestyle, new norm. These are something that never happened before, and who know whether it going to be gone forever, or will resurface one day. 

 

Anyway, I once heard a saying, 'It is useless to over worry  or over thinking. If what you worried didn't happen, you are wasting your time worry about it. For those it happened at last, then you can start to worry by the. Don't sacrifice your precious time immersed yourself in your worriness..

Der vorletzte Tag des Jahres

Heute ist der vorletzte Tag des Jahres. Ich kann meines Gefühl nicht richtig ausdrücken, auch es nicht erkennen. Alles sind wie ein Traum. 

Ich habe einen Plan. Ein Plan in Bezug auf meine Zukunft. Jetzt wird diesen Plan wegen der Pandemie leider nicht verwirklichen. Sollte ich darauf bereut? Oder macht es Sinn, wenn ich darüber bereut war? Man muss nie aufgeben. Das Leben ist häufig anspruchsvoll. Das kann man natürlich nicht vermeiden. Es ist ganz normal. Aber man kann sich selbst entscheiden, ob man die Schwierigkeiten überwinden will oder abwendet. 

Dieses Jahr habe ich selten gearbeitet. Ich glaube, es ist ungefähr nur 5 Monate. Meisten war ich bei Goethe, um meinen Deutschkurs zu erledigen. Deshalb habe ich mich total gefreut, wenn ich meine B2 Zertifikat bekommen. Obwohl ich nicht ab sofort nach Deutschland fliegen konnte, wird es unbedingt einfacher, wenn ich eine Beruferlaubnis beantragen möchte. 

Die Zeit vergeht so schnell wie ein Flugzeug, und ich konnte nur hier im ruhig bleiben. Ich fühle mich hilflos, wenn es so viele Probleme gibt, kann ich aber nichts tun. Nichts kann ich behalten. 

Meine Arbeit, Meine Familie, Meine Freunde, Meine Seele, Mein Körper und so weiter. Alles sind weggegangen. Am Ende stehe ich nur auf diesem gleichen Ort, um die Geschicte zu schauen. 

Die Sonne wird immer wieder scheinen. Mach keine Sorge!

2020 is not what I thought.

2020 is a self discovering year. I resigned from my secured, good paid government job, and went to Germany for 3 months. Eventhough I don't really think I learnt much knowledge in these three months, but the exposure to new culture, new lifestyle was there.

Since January, I came back from Germany, decided to carry out my on-the-list plan, out of the sudden a catastrophe landed the earth. Yes, the earth. As reported, it began in Wuhan province, China and slowly spreading to other countries, and ended up in almost every corner of the world.

The virus mutated into various strains up to date, and human still neither able to contain the virus, nor invented the vaccine for it. Some of the people even wondering, is it the end of the world screening at the moment?

The first time in such a long time, citizens in countries were instructed to stay home and keep distance from each other. Economy was basically stopped, barely cars on the road, it is like a pause button has been hit, and the world just enjoying the pause. The earth is healing through this slow moving life, fast moving time. Pollution reduced as factories forbid to operate, lesser car with lesser smokes produced, reduction in the beach activities minimized the sea pollution, even the flight trips are not as frequent as before. Things changed, world changed, lifestyle changed. People changed? Not so sure about that, as the criminal in related to scam, cheat, and rob increase tremendously.

2020 is a year, where I learn and try to stop over worrying, over thinking, trying to enjoy the free time I have now, to do what I can at the moment. If you asked do I regret to leave my job, I would probably say yes, due to the condition now. However, I do gain some invaluable memories and experience throughout the time.

Life is full of choices and decisions. Every single step lead us to absolute different route. There is no turning back. It's okay to regret and think, what if I take the other road. But remember to continue moving forward and seek for the opportunity, to direct yourself to the destination of your choice.

~ The thought of what we didn't pick, is the better choice, 

will keep haunting us, till we learn to live with our choice, 

and eventually enjoy the fruitful journey, 

heading to our dream destination. ~