Swear Words

I'd love to gather some thoughts about swear words. How do you teach them to your children? Or, perhaps I should ask the question in a different way. Do you explicitly present a list of swear words and say "Thou shalt not say this word. Ever"? Perhaps you focus more on what kind of words your family do say.

Sometimes a little swear word here and there is kind of funny, especially if it comes unexpectedly. I guess this post is a "there"

My third grader wrote this story - isn't she sweet?

 but honestly I have tried to be explicit with my children. When they've asked me about a specific word, I will repeat the word and tell them it is a swear word. I don't usually say something like "the s word" because that is confusing. There are many "s" words.

Long ago, I established some "strong" words in my family that I'd prefer my children not use. For right now, these strong words are brought up far more often than actual swear words (hate, stupid, shut-up). When I say "brought up" I don't mean that my children go around the house saying strong words thus earning punishment of some sort. I just mean that they will ask me about strong words.

My children do hear the Lord's name taken in vain very often and this is something that I struggle with as far as teaching them to be a good example, yet allowing others to be themselves, especially when "others" are not just peers but often adults. A few weeks ago, while at a school science fair, I heard one of my kindergartener's peer (Gus) correct his friend. The conversation went something like this: (after the friend took the Lord's name in vain) Gus: you just swore. Friend: no I didn't. Gus: yes you did. I don't think Gus thought this at the time, but I sure thought, "Wow, that took some guts."

I hope my children will feel comfortable coming to me or another trusted adult with questions about words they hear (or any language, questionable stories -- this week my children learned what "vulgar" means). And, I hope when they do come to me, I can respond calmly and with clarity explain why we have the standard in our house to use clean language (and what clean language is) but just because that is our standard, doesn't mean others have the same standard. Our Heavenly Father loves all people.

Baddest Witch in the World

In true Beverly Cleary style, I narrate this post using one of her clever chapter titles. That chapter comes from the classic "Ramona the Pest".

Ramona is quite the precocious young lady, kindergartner in fact. She has waited years and years to participate in the school Halloween parade. When, at last, she gets to be participant instead of spectator, she asks her mother to find the scariest, most gruesome witch mask EVER.

With mask on, Ramona heads gleefully off to school the morning of the parade only to discover, (there must have been some kind of great sale at the local K-Mart), a dozen other kids with the same horrifying mask running around. Ramona was mischievous to the boy she liked, pulled Susan's boing-y curls, and even messed with the beloved Miss Binney (teacher).

But, being a little naughty wasn't any fun because NO ONE knew who she was. Ramona began to wonder if even her own mother would know which witch was the baddest witch. To quote Cleary,

 

 "The feeling was the scariest one Ramona had ever experienced. She felt lost inside her costume....What if everyone in the whole world forgot her?"

This was the point in the story where Ramona ripped off her mask and felt incredibly relieved to hear Miss Binney call out her name to join the parade.  Ramona ended up with her class, but not without running back inside to quickly label her witch's hat with her name (in masking tape).

This chapter illustrates an important lesson. There are so many masks in life and the more we disguise ourselves, the more comfortable we become in some kind of foreign world. Anonymity is too easy to claim. 



http://www.ldsprintables.com/2012/04/be-loyal-to-royal-within-you.html

My final thought is to quote Harold B. Lee from his book, "Ye are the Light of the World":

 "To be what God intended you to be as a woman depends on the way you think,

believe, dress, and conduct yourselves as true examples of Latter-day Saint womanhood,

 examples of that for which you were created and made. "

Loafer Mom

The other day I wrote a funny post here that my daughter said referring to her thoughts while reading descriptions of my sister's life when she (my sister) made the humongous transition from being a professional teacher to being a mother.

When my daughter asked if Aunt Janie was a loafer, it struck me as very funny (and still does) but it also makes me wonder what kind of perception my children or any child has of motherhood. I don't think it would hurt for me to give a little extra focus to describing the joy I have in being a mother. Believe me, there may only be a few (like less than five, some days) purely joyful moments in the day, but they are there and especially when I make an effort to look for and appreciate them.

Yesterday, I watched my youngest running and jumping at a playground and felt such sincere appreciation for her good health. Today I observed how quickly my older daughter obeyed me and got herself dressed and ready for church. I also watched my son seek my approval during primary at church after he made a comment. I am so thankful to be a part of their lives.

Back to the topic of loafer-ism :-) I am going to strive to speak out loud about some of the things I manage in the home. I want the children to understand the value I place on fulfilling my duties here. I heard a sincere prayer once, that I've never forgotten. I was at a group activity where quite a few friends were making a freezer meal that we could take home and eat with our family. The person who prayed asked that we might appreciate serving our families and find joy in this service.

Immeasurable blessings await me, in the morning :-). Good Night.

Valiant

This year, I get to teach a different age group in my church primary group: the eight and nine-year old boys and girls. The great thing is that I get to have the same kids I had last year.

Last year, most of my class members were baptized and became official members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). We spent much of the year talking about our own personal "CTR" shields in life (CTR means Choose the Right) and specific attributes we can develop to help us choose the right.


 http://www.layoutsparks.com/pictures/choose-right-0
 

 This year I am excited to focus on being valiant. Isn't that a great word? It speaks of nobility and courage, just what we all need every day.

The first day of our class for the year, I took an idea from a "lesson helps" link off of the LDS Living site: http://ldsliving.com/story/74674-old-testament-lesson-1-this-is-my-work-and-my-glory. I brought in a box of random items: legos and toys. I dumped the items on the table and told the kids they had two minutes.

I wrote down their bewildered responses. These kids aren't super dramatic, but very sweet kids. This is what they said (interspersed with my comments):

"Do What?"

"For What?"

"What do we do?"

 

They had obediently gone right to work handling all of the toys and making attempts to create something with the toys. I told them they had about one more minute.

"What the . . ."

 

I asked if they were about done because time was up.

"I don't know what I'm done with."

 

After this activity, I proceeded to explain that in life, we aren't thrown into earth in a jumbled heap and just expected to "do something" but that we each have a specific plan and have had a plan since before we were born. I showed the kids the scriptures and explained how these are our best instructions.