Climbing the Stairs

*I take no credit for the thoughts below. I'm pretty sure they came to me from a Priest, probably a Russian Orthodox monk, Father Herman of Alaska. But I am fudging just a little.

I love religious art. Icons often are able to tell a timeless story, and point to the truth, even to those who do not practice that particularly spirituality. Truth will not be confined and goes often, far beyond the boundaries of any particular religion, event or temporal story. This icon is one of my favorites. St. John of the Ladder, or St. John of Climacus, or St. John of Syria ascends the ladder into heaven. And, he's not looking back. Look at him! Merciless, blind to the plight of those behind him, his eyes are fixed on his Holy Destination and the One who aids him in his climb. He seems oblivious to everyone and anything behind him. Sometimes I look and think this is so unkind, so heartless, so self-serving. But because he rises, all those souls behind him are steady on the ladder. See those folks trying to grab onto the ladder, but not step onto it? They are stumbling, falling - I"m not sure those folks are going to make it. But St. John never looks back. He just proceeds.

You have to get on the ladder! You can't grab onto anyone else's coat tails. No one else can pull you up, either. The most anyone else can do for you, is point you to the ladder and show you how to step but you have to do the climbing. While you're climbing, all you can do for fellow climbers is to step sure and brave, and maybe not break the rungs on the way.

A friend of mine and I were discussing a particular codependent relationship in which I am entangled. It was a difficult discussion. You see, I'm so deeply embroiled in this relationship that I find myself afraid to break away because allowing my partner in crime to hit rock bottom, as they say, very likely means that I'm going to fall several step back on the ladder. I keep looking back, holding my breath and stretching out my arms and all the rope I have. I keep on hoping that my fellow climber is going to have an epiphany and realize that I'm going to fall too. When the epiphany comes, and eyes are opened maybe I'll at least be able to continue without drawing the "go to directly to jail" card. My friend said magic words, "You are only prolonging both your suffering and your fellow's suffering." She was saying something more about each individual having their own spiritual path, but I wasn't hearing much more - I was seeing St. John's Ladder.

The only way out is through - and no one else can go through for anyone but themselves. Those around might fall; I cannot control that. And, I might be singed, scorched even, by the flames created but you just keep climbing. That's the best you can do.

Not sure I'm back to blogging. I'm making no promises. But I remember a time ages ago when one of my children exclaimed, "But you didn't make my sister do this!" My quick, and without thought answer was, "Well, I made a mistake, do I have to keep making it?" So, I decided to blog my thought today despite my long absence. I hope I will be able to write more now.

Lent is rich with opportunity, I wish for you its fullness.

~Lee