| Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 |
9:29 pm
[fayanora]
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Cheesy
"My brain is telling me 'Pick up the cheesy bread, dip it, eat it.' My stomach is saying, 'Do it and I'll kill you.' " ---My friend Brooke. |
| Friday, April 30th, 2010 |
8:50 pm
[emmalinell]
 |
Commercial for Cox: says something about a bundle of joy. My Dad: His Cox bundle of joy! Current Mood:  amused |
| Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 |
1:22 pm
[the_gabih]
 |
Why I love the FB friends feed:
(They were discussing this site, fyi) H: If I voted, I'd vote Tory. Not because I believe them, but because I think the British public deserve them; we have been complacent and pathetic, we deserve to suffer for it. T: so what you're saying is...david cameron is the hero gotha-britain deserves, but not the one it needs? david cameron is batman? |
| Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 |
2:44 pm
[jazzminarino]
 |
A year and a half in my apartment is amazing...
Some time ago, my friends and I decided to write in a quote book. A simple tablet of paper, jotting down things we had said that could potentially be incriminating later. I decided to post them here, using their pseudonyms from my journal. Most of them are not by who said them, but some are in order to figure out timelines... ... ENJOY! "10 cents for the pink kitty" ( Totally NSFW...Collapse ) Current Mood: amused |
| Friday, December 11th, 2009 |
1:05 pm
[kshandra]
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Let's hear it for avoiding a massive faux pas!
(But I hope you'll understand if my post is MQ-formatted.)  saoba and grillghod have been dealing with a burst pipe on their property, and the [REDACTED] tenants responsible for same. Me: He says he doesn't understand what happened. He even left the hose hooked up. Gah!
GG: Yeah, I heard that. I'm sorry you had such a crappy day. (pause) Sweetie? When did you eat last?
Me: Lunch. I was going to get a shower and eat before I left for dress and then-
GG: Yeah. Listen, you go take a shower and then we'll go get you something to eat, okay?
Me: (Gives him an enquiring look, having noticed he is using his 'someone here is a ticking bomb' voice)
GG: It's just as I was coming back in I saw the hammer and the bayonet in the laundry room.
Me: I had to pry things up and pull things open. It's a perfectly reasonable tool set for the situation I was facing.
GG: I'm not disagreeing, I'm just saying any day that involves needing a hammer and a bayonet is a day that should end in someone buying you dinner.Oh the context outside is frightful.... |
| Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 |
10:39 pm
[slasher_chick]
 |
...wow...
bextcoll: Her vagina's a Hufflepuff. It's a good finder. Current Mood:  crazy |
| Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 |
10:42 pm
[runic_binary]
 |
Roommates again
Alex: "I still want one of the guys from Muse to do something douchey to me personally just so I can make a blog post titled 'Supermassive Asshole'." Erin: "On the fourteenth day, God was still stoned. On the twenty-seventh day, God woke up, looked around, said 'Where the Hell am I?' and put his pants back on." Alex: "I forgot my beer! You can't drink beer without beer! ...That is easily within the top ten stupidest things I've said today." |
| Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 |
7:22 am
[runic_binary]
|
Things said by people I know
Erin: "I just wanna make sure it's not full of AIDS before I try it on." Erin: "Okay, that was a problem, but I solved it." Alex: "Now check out the hook while my DJ revolves it?" Me: "I still haven't seen Speed Racer." Alex: "Have you ever looked directly into a strobelight?" Me: "...Yes." Alex: "Then you've seen Speed Racer." |
| Thursday, October 15th, 2009 |
7:24 pm
[wordicuffs]
 |
Heard while in the backseat of a car
-driver is handed a quarter in change from the lady at the toll bridge booth- Girl 1: You know, strippers stack up quarters and pick them up with their vaginas. So that quarter could have been in a vagina at some point. driver: Um... -throws quarter into girl's lap- You can keep it. Girl 2: Where did you hear that? Google? Girl 1: No! I haven't been googleing 'vagina quarters'! It came to me in a dream. See, in my dream, I was a quarter, and the vagina was coming for me. But since I was a quarter and therefore had no legs, I couldn't move! I could only sit there and scream in terror as the vagina bore down on me... Girl 2: Were there other...quarter refugees in this dream? Girl 1: -sniffles sadly- No, no. I was all alone. |
| Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 |
4:12 pm
[youngwilliam]
 |
Angry Young Man
Neighbor's kid coming down the stairs from his porch, calling back over his shoulder. " You may take my cotton, but you'll never take.. [dramatic pause] ..my pride!" The last two words spoken in a theatrically dramatic voice with a touch of him trying not to laugh at said theatrical drama. |
| Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 |
8:38 pm
[camerachick2383]
 |
Overheard at Walmart
Little boy "Hey mom! I found it!!" Mom "could you beany louder?" Little boy "YES I CAN!!!" |
| Friday, March 27th, 2009 |
10:48 pm
[camerachick2383]
|
at the ARC thrift store!
"HEY! Suzie*! How are you? I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on!!" - One random woman to another *Suzie used to protect privacy and because I can't remember the name she actually used. |
| Monday, March 23rd, 2009 |
10:38 pm
[slasher_chick]
|
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| Monday, March 9th, 2009 |
2:38 pm
[slasher_chick]
|
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| Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 |
1:56 pm
[skysong6161]
 |
Mom: Well, I used to go to Catholic school. Had to wear the pleated skirts and everything. Me: Are nuns scary? Mom: As all hell. Everything you've heard about nuns is true. |
| Sunday, January 18th, 2009 |
9:59 pm
[huzzah_817]
 |
Alarm Systems
my uncle bought this crap box of a car from an old car dealership for $100, and my aunt was looking at it:: Aunt: It doesn't have an alarm system? Uncle: Well, it actually has one of the best ones around. Aunt: ...What? Uncle: *chuckles* ...nobody wants it. Current Mood: chipper |
| Tuesday, January 13th, 2009 |
12:34 am
[slasher_chick]
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| Monday, December 29th, 2008 |
1:59 am
[tw_love_oha]
 |
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| Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 |
4:46 pm
[youngwilliam]
|
Heartfelt Holidays
Scene: Man on cell phone Man: Yeah, I still have to get some lottery tickets, hair bands, just some more of that BS for her stocking |
procrastinating
nervous
tired