The Shirts

All through this pregnancy (well, more like since the day Clayton was born) I have been nervous about how quickly the birthing time would go. Clayton's birth was so fast--one hour start to finish--with no warning beforehand. In North Carolina we were 45 minutes from the birthing center and that kinda had me worried. Here in Washington we were just about 22 minutes from the birthing center, so that was a good thing. The birthing center is actually closer than any hospital that delivers babies. Still I was a little bit nervous, expecting things to go like they did with Clayton's birth.

At my weekly check-ups, I was progressing about the same as I had with Clayton, and was at a 4+ on Thursday at my 39 week visit. I chickened out of having her strip my membranes, and scheduled a visit for the next Tuesday. My visualization of him being born that Friday didn't happen. On Saturday there was a multi-stake Relief Society conference with Sheri Dew as the speaker. Mom and I went, but after and 1 1/2 hours, I was done sitting there...it still had 3 more hours to go. We went home and I took a nap. That evening Jack and I went on a date to buy new jeans for him...very romantic, I know :) We got ice cream too, so that made it more exciting. While we were driving around we discussed name ideas. We had been making lists and throwing out name ideas for months, but really we had no idea. I liked Tyler, but Jack didn't at all. Jack liked Taylor, and while I think it is a cute name, Taylor Shirts just seemed a bit cruel. We were tossing out different names, and then I thought to myself, "I kinda like Tanner Reed" and then a few seconds later Jack said to me, "What about Tanner Reed Shirts?" I said, "Ok." "Really?" "Yep." So that settled it. With two new pairs of jeans and a name for our baby, we returned home.

Sunday, March 10, the day before baby arrives

Sunday morning Jack went to meetings, came home, and then went to choir before our 1:00 church. I was feeling kind of crampy all morning, but didn't think too much of it. Mom was planning on staying home with the boys because they both had colds. I joined Jack at church and sat there, realizing that these crampy feelings were coming kind of frequently and regularly. I wrote a note to Jack telling him that I just realized that maybe things weren't going to go like they did for Clayton's birth and maybe we didn't have to wait around for my water to break. After Sacrament Meeting, Jack told the missionaries that he wouldn't be staying to teach Gospel Essentials, I gave my friend Casey a heads up that I'd be calling her to come over later that day, and we headed home.

Things were starting for sure, but I didn't feel any sense of urgency. We came home and Jack and I took a nap, anticipating a long night ahead of us. I timed the contractions for a while using an app on Jack's phone. We all ate dinner, and then around 6:00ish, Jack called the midwife to let them know we were going to be having a baby that night. The answering service picked up and they had the midwife call us back. The midwife who was on call that evening was the only one who I had not gotten a chance to meet yet. I was a little bummed about that, but she sounded nice over the phone. She said I could come on in whenever I wanted to, but I didn't want to go too soon. We agreed on meeting there at 9:00, and then I changed it to 10:00 because I just didn't feel any urgency to get there too soon. We packed up the last minute stuff, and I called Casey to have her come over at 9:30 so we could go. We put the boys to bed and then Casey got here just as Jack and I were getting in the van to go. Mom gave her some instructions for the boys and showed her around, and then she drove Jack's car and met us there.

I listened to the Birthing Day HypnoBabies track part of the way as we drove there, just trying to get into the whole HypnoBabies relaxation. We pulled up to The Birthing Inn at exactly 10:00, and the midwife, Kim Horvath, was there waiting for us. She was very warm and friendly, and I wasn't concerned about not having met her before that. I did have to tell her about my other birthing experiences because for some reason that page was not in my file that she had and they were in the middle of remodeling the office upstairs so she couldn't look around for it. I had talked to most of the other midwives about my past experiences (or at least about my concern about it being really fast) so they would have known already. Oh well, not a huge deal. Kim wanted to check me to see how dilated I was, so she did and I was just at a 5. I was kind of surprised by that, only because I was at a 4 at my last appointment so I hadn't "progressed" very much. Kim asked what I wanted to do as I labored: get in the tub, walk around, etc. I did want to try the tub but not yet, so I just kind of hung out. I rested while leaning on the birthing ball, rocked on the ball, walked around, and just kind of hung out.

Walking around to try to help things move along...This was a pause during a pressure wave when I was more in the "practice" HypnoBabies mode. It really wasn't intense at all at this point.

I was definitely having pressure waves the whole time, but it kinda seemed like no big deal. I did do the "finger drop" relaxation and turned off my light switch to do the self-hypnosis, but at that point (and for the majority of the whole birthing time) I really felt like it was just practice, not like I really even needed it to manage the wave. We visited with Kim for a while, and then she went out to the little waiting area. She'd check on me and was available to help with whatever I needed, but really I didn't need much. She kept telling me how calm and easy I was, and how she'd never had anyone as calm and relaxed as me. She said she had been carrying a gardening magazine around in her bag with her for months but had never even gotten a chance to open it. Now she had finished the entire thing and was looking for something else to do. It was kinda funny.

Midwife Kim (on couch) and the assistant just waiting around

She checked me again around midnight and I was at a 7. She asked if I wanted her to break my water, but I didn't at that point. We decided we'd reassess that in a while if things weren't moving along. I really felt kind of ridiculous. At the hospital, there are tons of nurses, doctors/midwives, and other staff there but they are there for many different patients, and they'd be there no matter what. Here at the birthing center, everyone was there for me. Jack, Mom, the midwife, and later the assistant. And Casey was at my house with Jackson and Clayton, waiting on Mom to get back so she could go home again. And who knows if the boys are actually sleeping and doing ok there while we're all gone.

Hey, it's hard work walking around the halls in the middle of the night...give him a break....

I felt kind of guilty, like I was keeping everyone awake in the middle of the night when they should all be asleep. I didn't want to do anything to speed things up. I wanted it to all just go on it's own, but I kind of felt pressured to do something. Kim didn't really say anything to pressure me or act overly impatient...I just felt bad. Ridiculous, I know. Hi, I'm having a baby. And I'm paying you to be here. Anyway, I walked the halls and walked up and down the 2 flights of stairs with Jack. Nothing really huge was happening. I got in the tub to relax for a while, but I really just felt bored. Jack, Mom, and I played cards (Kings in the Corner) while I was in the tub. The midwife got a kick out of that. I think the assistant, Karin, arrived while we were playing cards and thought that was pretty funny too. Hey, I was bored.

Concentrating hard on the card game.

Around 1:30 AM I got out of the pool and Kim checked me again and I was only at a 8. I debated back and forth for a little bit, and then had her break my water to get things going. I knew that when that happened, the pressure waves would get much more intense and that there was no turning back (not that there was any turning back anywhere in the whole process, but you know.) But, I'm bored and tired and I feel awkward with everyone waiting on me. So she did it, and sure enough, things picked up. I put on some depends (lovely) and walked up and down the stairs with Jack again. This time it really was doing something. I would pause at every landing and sometimes in between and lean on Jack as I had a pressure wave. Now it really was taking a little bit of concentration and I was actually having to use the HypnoBabies to relax through it. After 1 or 2 trips up and down the two flights, I was done with the stairs. We came back in and I got back in the tub. It wasn't quite as relaxing as I would have hoped, but the warm water still felt nice. I think the tub was too big for me so I kept slipping down. I wish I could have reached across the tub with my feet better so I could relax without sliding down.

Actually having to focus to relax through the birthing waves now.

After a while in the tub, I needed to use the bathroom so I got out. The midwife told me I didn't have to get out, that they had a little net...umm, no thanks. So I went in the bathroom and had Jack come with me. I was having intense pressure waves close together, and was hanging on him as I sat on the toilet hanging onto him. (Now that's love. Thanks, Jackie.) All of a sudden I felt a baby coming and told that to Jack. He hollered out the door to the midwife, who rushed in to the bathroom. I had mentioned that I might want to use the birthing stool, so she brought that in and set it in front of me, but I couldn't make myself move the two steps to get to it. (...this seems weird to share with the world, but I want to record it, so here it goes...) The toilet was kind of high, like a handicap one, not a regular low one, and the midwife needed to be able to catch the baby instead of baby falling into the toilet, so I was really standing a lot more than squatting. That made it a lot harder to push baby out because my pelvis was not nearly as open as it would be in a squatting position. I don't know how long I pushed...I'm sure it wasn't more than 5 minutes, but it really took some effort and my legs were so tired. 3:18 AM, I pushed baby out and Kim handed him to me. I sat back down and held him for a few minutes, but I was really shakey and weak feeling so I handed him back for then.

Kim asked if I wanted to move to the bed to deliver the placenta and I was going to, but as soon as I got up to move it started coming out, so I delivered the placenta on the toilet too. I should have gotten a discount for the easy clean-up job that they had! Also, Kim said in her 20 years of midwifery, this was the first baby she had delivered without gloves on. It was just sort of all of a sudden and there wasn't time for her to get them on. We all survived. Anyway, after the placenta was delivered, I did move back to the bed and they gave me my baby back and I enjoyed snuggling that new little person and smelling his sweet newbornness.

It was really nice that I just got to keep him and hold him as long as I wanted, and there wasn't anyone trying to take him to weight & measure, or bathe, or check him or anything. They did weigh and measure him when I was ready for them to.... 8 lbs, 8 oz! No wonder he was harder to push out than 7 lb Jackson or 6 lb 13 oz Clayton! Tanner was 21 inches long.

I held him and nursed while Kim stitched me up. We got settled in, and then we slept for a few hours. In the morning, we dressed this new little boy and headed home around 10:15.

It was very different to be going home so soon after his birth: about 6 or 7 hours later, rather than the 48 hours that was standard in the hospital in Utah for both Jackson and Clayton. Beforehand, I was a little nervous about that part, mostly because I knew I'd be going home to two other little boys who probably wouldn't want to let me rest too much. But when it came down to it, I was ready to get home anyway. I felt bored being there and I really didn't need to be there anymore. And there were two cute big brothers and home who were really excited to meet their new little brother! It was a lot of fun to introduce them to their new brother. We told them his name, and then Jackson kept forgetting it for the first day or two and would ask, "What is the baby's name again?" They were both kind of sick so we tried to have them keep their distance most of the time, but it didn't really work. They were excited to love this baby, and so was I :)

(*It has only taken me 2 years to finally get this all the way written...I'm glad I did get most of the details down long ago, because I certainly wouldn't remember it all now.)