mific | Entries

Yeah, no, because I'm too lazy to make one, sorry about that.

Simplest thing is to check out my AO3, here. There's a mix of art and fic and podfic. The art is all tagged digital art (even when it's mostly traditional art) and the fic's tagged as fanfiction. The podfic's tagged podfic, surprisingly.

By the way, I'm happy for any of my works to be transformed in any way, as long as you link back to my original work - let me know so I can enjoy it, as well!

Current Mood: chipper

The things I do to avoid writing! *sigh* Note that this is supposed to be a comprehensive list, not recommendations. I love many of these fics to bits, but I haven't read them all, esp. some of the long series.

The criteria for this list are:

McShep fics (sometimes platonic or asexual but with McShep as the main focus rather than the boys being lost in a crowd of sentinel-guide pairs)
No WIPs
I've excluded most of the more complex multi-crossover fics or series (except for SGA crossovers with The Sentinel)

Rodney's the Sentinel and John's the Guide:

( List here... )

John's the Sentinel and Rodney's the Guide:

( List here... )

Let me know if you know of any more stories out there that meet these criteria!

Current Mood: busy

Heated Rivalry is a difficult fandom to write in, as there's an intimidating amount of incredible fic!

I finished this a week ago, then vacillated about posting it after reading other stories by far more skilled writers, but I just finished the final edit and hit post, on the principle of "MORE CAKE!"

It's my attempt at writing something a bit like sex pollen in HR. Weird tropes are a lot easier in Stargate, where they're either already in canon, or can be explained away by alien tech and alien plants!

when you have to go there - about 13,000 words, Ilya/Shane, Ilya's POV.

I can't...

spikedluv has died very suddenly on the same day as her last post here, Feb 2nd.

ride_4ever linked to her obituary here. I've known her as a fandom friend for years and always enjoyed her chatty posts and pics about day to day life. And oh hell, her poor family, with all they're going through at the moment.

Goddamnit.

So many WIPs - I never used to read the damn things, but HR has corrupted me! The advantage of having several WIPs on the go is that something updates every day, often more than one. The main downside is remembering which plot or AU storyline the WIP is about. I often reread the last chapter, esp. if it's a few days since the fic updated.

I know where to draw the line by magneticwave (wrote the great AU where Shane's a surgeon). It's a new WIP (10,000 word 1st chapter) and is really excellent, with a mature 26 y.o. Shane with a trick knee who's in the Metros with 22 y.o. hotshot Ilya. Lots of hockey detail, great writing & characterisations, a closeted oblivious Shane, and Ilya on the prowl.

My two other main fave WIPs are Basingstoke's Lovers, or English is a damn funny language which continues to be brilliant, and Glittercity's Never Been Bitten, the vampire AU with interesting power dynamics (rich obsessive club owner vampire Shane who's nervous of the ingenuity and aggression of humans and Ilya, the chaotic bartender who's trying to seduce him.)

I've also been charging through all CorvidCordelia's works.

I read Half Agony, Half Hope a while back - it's a longfic based on the premise that Ilya gets traded to Montreal about 3 years after Shane breaks it off after the tuna melts hookup, so they're now on the same team. A great mix of angst, drama, lust, and of course, the requisite happy ending!

Careful Fear and Dead Devotion is another longfic, a complete AU in which Shane and Ilya are young actors looking for a break who are cast as Finn and Dane in the TV series "Ember and Ice". It uses the Quinn audio-erotic story as the plot of the drama they're starring in, so if the mention of Ember and Ice as a "fandom" put you off, don't be - no knowledge is needed of E&I and the inherent ludicrousness of that work doesn't intrude. Scott and Kip are the showrunners! It's kind of analogous to Hudson and Connor in HR, without being in any way RPF. It's a great story, and I loved it.

And Walking Through Windows a fork in the road AU where Ilya fucks up the Tampa All Stars reconciliation (after Shane accepts he's gay), and they then only see each other on the ice when their teams play, for ten years. Which is inherently very sad, but the story starts then, when they're both recently retired and Ilya learns that Shane's about to marry a man. You can imagine what happens, and I was unsure if I'd like it as I dislike partner betrayal, but CorvidCordelia is a bloody good writer and absolutely sold it to me, with a wonderful story that I couldn't put down (gave myself eyestrain again, damn it!)

Remember how my boyfriend from when I was 17 turned up out of the blue? Well, he dropped in again after doing his NZ tourist trip, and left me a bunch of memorabilia so I could scan it then mail it back to him. The letters (mine) are... written by an over-dramatic teenager with poetic delusions, so I quickly noped out of reading them. The pics are kind of fun, though, despite my terrible hairdo.

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The usual sample of some of my seasonal cards. Hopefully they've all arrived by now, or will very soon. This year I decided to paint people freehand (which means they're all a bit wonky) and then name them after less well known minor deities - it's called the Small Gods series. I had fun, anyway - it's always good to get back into watercolours again (although I use them more like gouache), after mostly working in Procreate the rest of the year. Embellished with metallic paint in various colours, gold, and silver, for a festive touch. Hopefully you can see the sheen a little in the way I've photographed them.


God of Circuses	God of Ink	God of Extroverts

God of Dramatic Entrances	God of Jump Scares	God of Drizzle

God of Sweaters	God of Naps	God of Woad

God of Flirts	God of Sparrows	God of Nostalgia

Two extraordinary CGI sci-fi vids about the exploitation of a distant alien planet. Extraordinary visuals.

solstice-5 [00.10.37]

solstice-5 forgotten archives [00.11.12]

And a brilliant and hilarious short HR edit that turns the show into a thriller murder mystery.

HR thriller edit

It's run a bit differently to FTH. You donate in one of 3 tiers - $5, $10, or $20. For the lower tiers you don't get much, or any, choice, just an HR fanwork assigned to you as thanks for the donation. For the $20 tier you get a bit more choice and can specify the type of fanwork (art, fic, podfic, vid, etc.), and can give a brief prompt for the creator. But this isn't an auction - you can't put in bids for a specific creator's work. The mod assigns you, like a matchmaker.

Anyway, if you'd like to donate, here's the post: donations form here

To complete the form you'll need to have already donated. I did most of the form then jumped sideways to do the donation to one of their listed orgs, then I completed the form. Seemed to work okay.

Two hot off the press HR recs, and an older GC one.

cut to the feeling - by Charlotte_Stant, one of my fave authors in HR and HR RPF. For magical realism reasons, 18 y.o. Shane wakes up in the body and life of himself at age 35, married to Ilya. It's brilliant, very funny and just the best "crack taken seriously" imaginable. Also hot as hell. So good.

Torture Me (With All I've Wanted) - by Toomuchplor, also an absolute fave author. 17 y.o. Shane and Ilya end up on a long bus ride together. Under a blanket. Yes, it's super hot but all the details are so lovely, the writing so good. I love it.

And so it's gonna be forever has already been reccd by people and is still a WIP damn it, but it's completely addictive. I just loooove fix-it fics, and in this, Ilya dies in the Centaurs' plane crash but is magically transported back to his teens again, reliving his life with all his future memories intact, determined to get it righter this time - and boy, does he make some changes. I could do without a few of the mystical bits but the majority of this fic is like pure crack to me.

A small catch-up with works I've posted to AO3 recently and not mentioned in other posts. There are three seasonal exchanges I take part in each year, so it's been a productive time for me. I also feel much less blocked in terms of writing fic, with Heated Rivalry getting me fannishly excited again, and my other fandoms have been benefiting.

Things I wrote, podficced, or arted in Procreate:

due South seekrit santa:
Roommates (Fraser/Ray Vecchio & Ray Kowalski, Dief)

Stargate Atlantis secret santa:
The Ancient Texts (Gen, Ronon & John)
Bribery (Jack O'Neill Gen, background John/Rodney - a mod treat)

SGA Discord Server annual fic exchange:
A Good Walk, Spoiled (Team, John/Rodney, Action/adventure)
and It Takes a Village (Gen, Radek & Biro)
and in the Leftover Treats category of the exchange:
A New Lease of Life (older John/Rodney, Explicit)
and The Way To a Man's Heart (Ronon/Rodney, Teen)

In podfic, just the one:
Christmas At Dukes Denver by Persiflager for ITPE (Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries. Harriet/Peter)

My fanart's still all Heated Rivalry - unsurprising, with such inspiring material!
Ya Tebya Lyublyu (I Love You) for the

drawesome romance prompt (Shane/Ilya)
Shane's Emotional Support Crotch (2 chapters/works so far, maybe planning more) (Shane/Ilya, NSFW)
Touch Yourself (Shane)

And of course I've enrolled for way too many Big Bangs etc, in HR. One is ICE OUT a tumblr-based HR fanworks auction to raise funds to support those combating ICE. Sign ups as a creator are almost closed, and the bidding starts in a couple of days.

Okay, so this vid is wonderful (courtesy of a rec by

dine). It's long, lushly romantic, and Jesus, why is the kissing montage in the middle so goddamn hot?

a thousand years by mybelovedismine

Thinking about why some vids work for me and others don't. First, I have to like the song. If I don't, no amount of clever editing will save it. Sometimes a really great song will carry me through average editing, but not vice versa. But a good song plus clever editing, so the vid's coherent and well-matched to the lyrics? That's the very best.

And here are some maybe controversial recs: not everyone likes RPF, so dl;dr. It's damn hard not to be delighted by Hudson and Connor, though, with their obviously close friendship and the way they cheerfully talk about loving each other at the drop of a hat.

I hate it when people read more into that and make shit up, causing drama in public spaces like social media - as Jacob said, Shane and Ilya are for the fans, Hudson and Connor are private. But creating RP fiction about them in a fanspace like AO3 doesn't bother me at all as long as no one brings it to their attention. Fanwriters have created RPF for years and although I've never been in any of the big RPF sports fandoms like hockey or baseball, I've enjoyed Joe/David RPF in Stargate Atlantis, in particular. Plus there's the whole Jared/Jensen pairing in Supernatural.

There's some incredibly good Hudcon RPF. There's also some very mediocre stuff, so here are a few of my specially selected recs. The writing is top tier in all of these, and they're all rated explicit.

Carterhaugh, Ontario by charlotte_stant. After filming, the boys go back to Connor's room to hang out, and end up fucking. Gorgeous banter, funny and nuanced, just great characterisation. Hudson's pov.

"Ya Blew It!" with Jay and Dan & Obvious - a 2-part series by falsescience (YankingAwry). This features complex relationships as the boys inveigle Jacob into a throuple – the first one's in Jacob's pov, with Hudson seducing him at the TSN SportsCentre set. Brilliant insights into actors & directing, funny, and super hot. The second part is Connor's pov - Hudson and Connor hanging out, fucking, and talking about what happened with Jacob, with Hudson setting Connor up for his own encounter. Amazing characterisation, and the Jacob aspect wasn't off-putting for me as the Hudson/Connor relationship is so resilient and lovely. (Also, have you seen JT's IMDB pic from younger years? He was hot!)

for the sake of auld lang syne by twnkwlf. This is Connor's pov, while he's staying with Hudson in Vancouver for New Years. It's mostly them hanging out lazily and talking, then fucking, and like the other recs here the characterisation is funny, subtle and feels bang on target. Excellent stuff.

that indescribable feeling by thermocline. Six encounters, real or imagined, in their developing, complex relationship. Beautifully written, balanced on an aching edge of ambiguity, and fundamentally hopeful. Alternating POVs.

OMG this HR vid by Nestra! I love it!

from the beginning

I get quite a few mailorder things delivered and the couriers know to just leave packages by my door if I'm not immediately available, but this morning I was right there, door open and all. So I was baffled, then annoyed, when the NZ Post courier van just sat in my driveway and tooted at me. What the fuck? I finally located my crocs and went outside and made a WTF gesture, and the driver reluctantly got out of his cab and thrust a package at me then quickly scrambled back in and took off.

I turned around and whoa, there was a stray dog behind me standing up looking over into my neighbour's patio which is edged by a short bit of picket fence. Then I heard it start yelping in distress and pain and realised its front legs had slid down between the pickets and gotten stuck with its paws being too wide to pull back horizontally through the gaps. It was a largish dog, what we call a huntaway here, and it was really worked up so I didn't feel safe approaching it from behind to try and lift up its legs, right next to its mouth - seemed like a good way to get bitten. But luckily while I was dithering and trying to figure out what to do it accidentally freed itself - it had been sagging down on its haunches which only trapped it worse, but it must have stood up again. I shooed it away and could see it had a white muzzle so quite an old dog. I hope it's ok, but I wasn't able to check its collar for owner details.

Having had a chance to look up what to do in that sort of situation in future, there really isn't anything*. It was too minor for the police and not a dangerous dog per se, and not an animal being mistreated so not the SPCA's area, although if it had stayed stuck I'd have called them for advice.

Another unexpected start of the day story!

*having calmed down and thought it through I should have got my broom and lifted its feet up that way, but I was in a panic-brain state at the time.

More pics from the garden - mostly flowers this time with everything in full bloom other than the roses, which are in between. These were taken a few days ago before solid rain set in, so what with a planned power cut 8am-6pm today for maintenance work, a quiet day today. Went for a moderate drive to get lunch out (excellent sushi) and charge my car battery, and now the power's back in time to download a bunch of fics to survive AO3 being down for way too long. I'm feeling virtuous as I made a rice cooker full of bean, veggie, chicken & chilli stew. Very tasty.

I'm still marinating in Heated Rivalry everything and it's helped with creating in other fandoms - an SGA and a due South secret Santa fic in late Dec and several SGA ones more recently for another exchange (will be unanoned soon). Gave myself for-real goddamn eyestrain from too much screen time reading and scrolling tumblr - inflamed, watering eyes, blurred vision, the whole nine yards. I'm being marginally more sensible about breaking up screen time with other activities now and that's resolved it, thank goodness. Too wet to garden, but. Anyway, garden pics follow, and here's hoping you're all doing okay! (Click through for large size)

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A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - a GoT prequel set some considerable time before GoT, and has a 9.2 rating on IMDB so far (which mostly seems based on fans having loved the book and feeling the show hasn't fucked it up so far in ep 1). Anyway, it was mostly fine, but nothing spectacular. Sir Dunc is a hedge knight's squire who's trying to pass himself off as a knight at a tournament. He's dirt poor so it's all very homespun and common folky so far. Presumably the show's world will get more complex and interesting as we go on.
My main gripe was the shitting scene, to which my reaction was you've gotta be shitting me! Dunc has a projectile shit from a standing position (slightly bent forward), like one of his horses but with way more rearward velocity. Was it supposed to be "gritty reality"? Because no one shits standing up like that ffs, and if they did it'd for sure go all over their legs. Presumably there's nothing wrong with his legs so why the fuck not squat like a normal, limber young person? Stupid nonsense, which I can only assume was supposed to be humorous. I was not amused.

The Pitt - I'm not liking it quite as much as season 1 so far but that's probably me finding anything not HR a bit lacklustre. Very happy Dana the charge nurse is back and in fighting form, and am enjoying all the usual suspects. One major plot point is that Dr Robbie's about to go on sabbatical and is being replaced by a new female consultant with whom there's a lot of friction as they do things very differently. She's a fan of generative AI for note-writing, for example. I can see they wanted the drama of the clash, but did they have to make her uptight, rulebound, female and with a Muslim name? Sigh. I really hope the drama's not going to play out in as stereotypical a way as it's currently threatening to, but the writing was good last time, so they get the benefit of the doubt.

Landman season 2 is on Prime, and is excellent as always. Superb writing, great acting and characters. It's about a Texas oil industry guy who is 2IC to the company CEO, and who does all the hands-on practical management and troubleshooting, including dealing with the local drug runners, wells blowing, and workers getting injured etc. His wife and daughter at first glance seem complete rich dumb blonde stereotypes, but underneath that facade both are interesting and funny, and cunning in the ways of their people (mostly at manipulating men). I enjoy it.

Click banner for more info

Collage of non-mcshep SGA characters. Text reads Romancing SGA.

the companion festival to Romancing McShep
and Romancing SG1

Okay, a few vids and edits. Sound absolutely on with them all!

First, two funny edits by hoechloin (tumblr - links now to gdrive as tumblr censored the posts) with soundtracks and embellishments that make me laugh out loud - Shane freaking out and being his dorky self:

edit 1

edit 2

Fanvids:

an angsty one to Casual by Chappell Roan by Leocities (play it with closed captions to get the most out of the great editing to the lyrics)

and a happier one to Long Time Running by The Tragically Hip by peakyboyos

An interesting essay on why Connor Storrie is much more likely to get an award than Hudson Williams (if either of them does). Clarifies a number of things I'd been vaguely thinking about.

And a hockey player from the USA leagues has just come out publicly and in detail, saying his statement was partly inspired by Heated Rivalry. It's not quite that dramatic - he was partly out already (to friends and family and had been playing in LGBTQ+ clubs since 2017) but it looks like this is his first major statement on social media. He never made the NHL but used to play in the USA leagues - the intricacies of all the NHL/AHL league levels baffle me. Anyway, it seems important, and was undoubtedly made a bit easier for him by the reception of Heated Rivalry.

You'll have picked up that there's a lot of sex in the show (and book) Heated Rivalry. And, unsurprisingly, there's a lot in the fanfic.

And one thing I'm having to deal with is a bunch of otherwise perfectly readable authors referring to "cum". It almost knocks me out of the mood, but not quite.

Having issues about spelling come as cum is doubtless linked with me being older than dirt and having learned English not just in school but from reading a hell of a lot of novels (before sinking without trace into fanfic). And I probably associate cum with porn dialogue, so that's partly an embarrassment thing, and partly me being a snob.

Anyway, I did some research on the interwebs and the most frequent viewpoint is:

cum is the noun
come is the verb

From etymonline.com, cum dates from 1973, initially used as a noun and mostly in porn, now used more widely and as both a noun and verb. Come is obviously a lot older, but as a synonym for ejaculating it seems to date from the 1500-1600s, and as semen, from the 1920s.

Which is all very well, but I just have a visceral dislike of the word cum. I'm going "ew, gross", like Shane when people use the term "lovers". It looks like a spelling mistake to me, and I doubt I'll ever use it in a fic except in a fake porn video title. So that leaves me stubbornly using come, or writing in a way that avoids the word altogether, because I am also not going to use "semen" or (worse) "ejaculate", except in very specific circumstances. Not to mention "reach completion" or "climax". Nope. Slang terms like jizz, spunk and spooge are sometimes okay in dialogue though, or in the pov of characters where it wouldn't be ooc.

What about you: come or cum? Enquiring minds want to know! Don't feel limited to its use in Heated Rivalry - this applies in most fandoms, and in some profic, I bet.

I finally got around to watching the Empty Netters podcast on YT, their breakdowns of HR eps 1 & 2. It's such fun watching them get caught up in the show while still critiquing the hockey details (two of them are brothers and previously high-level hockey players, now in what they call "the beer leagues". And as they get more and more invested in the show they don't care as much about the minor mistakes and unrealistic hockey-world details. Also, the comments are great, very positive and with no trolling or bigotry at all that I've seen so far (maybe they curate that?).
My initial main takeaways from these first two eps are:

The team logos were analysed. Shane's is M for the Metros (a bottom), and Ilya's is a cannon for the Raiders! (obvious symbolism). That has to be deliberate, right? Also hilarious!

Then these two comments, that added details I hadn't known.

I won't do a full transcript but the first says Reid wrote a bonus chapter on her website (a remix of the Vegas penthouse chapter, end of S2 in the show) with a bit more about Ilya's thoughts and feelings, his conflicts about returning to Russia and why he treats Shane badly. Here's the link.

The second comment clarifies that Putin only cracked down on gay people just before the Sochi Olympics. Before 2013 Russia had apparently become reasonably progressive. So Ilya would have been especially paranoid and freaked out at Sochi and would definitely have cold-shouldered Shane, as in canon. Also a nice pick-up that although Carter Vaughan means well, assuming the ice skater is gay was a microaggression, worse for Shane as Carter blithely assumes he's straight (and for Scott, but the Empty Netters don't know about Scott yet!).

I'm going to watch all the Empty Netters vids, but not right now. Jesus, I have to do something other than wallow in HR stuff all the time!

Apologies to friends here at DW. I've been so obsessed with HR everything I'd gotten very behind in reading my flist here. I am now caught up! Will try to do better.

I remember this state from when I first fell into fandom in about 2008/2009, and the key word is salience. The object of your desire becomes virtually the only salient (important) thing. Everything else pales in comparison and seems less important and interesting. It's no accident that salience is a technical term in addiction medicine. It's for sure linked with dopamine receptors and my brain is now very trained to give me dopamine hits for things related to HR, especially, at this stage, fic.

I'm not complaining, but I realise that we loons (an in-joke name suggested for the HR fandom) must be tiresome for those not in the fandom. (There's a solution to that...)

Anyway, it's also midsummer here and very nice, too. The garden (will do a few pics soon) is getting blowsy and a bit beset by fungal annoyances as we've continued to have intermittent rain and high humidity, but most days have highs of 27^C which is lovely and not too hot. Perfect for lying around reading and rewatching! I finally finished and mailed my second tranche of seasonal cards for NZ friends and family, the earlier lot having been sent overseas. They're later than usual due to the aforementioned salience of other distractions.

The bloody ducks managed to force their way back into my water garden through the duck dome, so the dome is now a basket weave with weft as well as warp, and tied more firmly to the barrel. The waterlilies are slowly recovering for a second time. The giant Mexican sunflower (Tithonia) is once more as tall as the house, having regrown from a 2 foot stub after cutting back. I'm not sure there's anything in the earth under my flat except Tithonia roots, these days. My peppers aren't thriving - not enough direct sun, as my potted plants got away from me and I didn't have the peppers in the front row. Lesson learned. Scarlet runner beans are doing well, but a lot of veggies and annuals haven't been great, probably as the very hot early summer exhausted and confused them. I'll plant some things earlier, in winter next year (sweet peas, tomatoes, peppers.)

Okay, that's my update - hugs for everyone and hope you're all coping with 2026 so far!

(Downs periscope and prepares to dive back into excellent HR fic).

Ok, so I have committed my first HR fic! A short, fluffy, h/c fic about Ilya and the white fleece jacket from the Sochi Olympics. So Fluffy.

Also a larger artwork combining a photoshoot pic, Ember and Ice and Heated Rivalry. I had a better ref for Shane, and am especially happy with how he came out. It's rated mature, NSFW. Diplomatic Relations.

It's an interesting fandom to be posting works in. In my older, quieter fandoms there's much more community engagement and more comments, with everyone aware the fandom's relatively small, these days, so more loyalty. In HR there's this frenzy of creation (nearly 7000 works so far), and fans hungrily soak up what's created with almost instant hits in the thousands, masses of kudos and bookmarks, and very few comments. Both types of fandom have their pros and cons. I'm just happy to be energised into writing more, and that energy rubs off (heh) onto my other main fandoms as well. What a time to be alive! (I realize seriously shitty things continue to happen elsewhere, but honestly, HR saved 2005 for me and many others, so I'm going to enjoy it.)

Oh noes! Toomuchplor just posted a new HR fic but there's no fic! Must have taken it down after posting so as to fix something. *whimpers and waits impatiently*

The 3rd and final chapter of "Ember and Ice" dropped yesterday. Hilariously, fangirls on tumblr are getting stuck into the political situation in the story, which does leave a lot to be desired although the defeat of the Lunare by the Solari results in a slightly "captive fairy prince" situation which is always fun. I enjoyed this extra offering by the boys, but audio erotica as a medium does nothing for me, as opposed to the fanfic (and podfic) now being produced by the ton for Heated Rivalry, much of which is excellent and extremely hot. I find it more hilarious than hot to actually hear our heroes giving a blow job - all those wet sucking and smacking sounds - and I kept imagining the poor foley person having to slap their wet thigh, or something, when they were getting into serious fucking. Imagination works way better than surround-sound for me! Although, if "My Moon My Man" is the standout song of HR, "my moan my man" is definitely Hudson's theme song in Ember and Ice!

I've signed up for the Hollanov Big Bang as a writer, artist, and beta (not that I'm going overboard with this or anything). If you're interested, sign ups are here. Info and the schedule are here.

Excellent recs by lotstradamus, here. Almost all are explicit, with some great ideas and interesting writing.

If you're looking for another gay romance with a happy ending, try the movie "Bros". Where I live it can be rented from Apple+. It's more typical of gay culture than HR and the protagonists are a lot older (pushing forty), but it's very charming in its own way. Commitment-challenged bros to lovers in this case, not "enemies". I thoroughly enjoyed it.

OK, today is the day I'm going to talk about a topic other than Heated Rivalry, because something amazing just happened.

Back in high school when I was 17 and in the 6th form (as we called it then, same as junior year in the US), my first boyfriend was a US exchange student from Illinois called Dave, a farm boy from the vicinity of Springfield, south of Chicago.

This morning I was woken up by someone knocking on my door at about 9am. I'm a night owl so I'm not always up then. I staggered about calling out for them to wait, and after pulling on some clothes, opened the door to find an older guy asking if I knew [my name]. And it was Dave. Neither of us recognised the other at first sight, obviously.

So for the past 3 hours we've been talking, catching up and exchanging reminiscences, filling each other in on our lives. He was only in NZ for 3 months back in our high school days and I think it was a pretty intense experience for him, urban New Zealand (Christchurch, where I grew up) being very different from rural Illinois, and my family were more liberal than his so I was a bit wilder than the girls he was used to. We thought we were in love, of course, and he says he was heartbroken to have to leave me, and that he regretted never corresponding with me afterwards - I thought my heart was broken, too, and wrote to him a few times, then stopped when there were no replies.

We dated for several weeks and were both virgins when we finally had entirely unprotected sex, not long before he had to return to the states. We had sex several times after that, ostensibly "going to the movies" but actually to a quiet park near where I lived, putting a blanket on the ground in a copse of trees. Apparently, (I have zero recall of this), I wrote to him after he got back home and told him that I hadn't gotten pregnant, thank goodness! (I do remember anxiously waiting for that period to come). His mother read that letter for some reason, and gave him hell! So I think he was kind of traumatised by that and never replied to me. He regrets that, now, and one reason for seeing me again was to apologise.

It's not like either of us has been carrying a torch all these years, but I think he really liked New Zealand and had fond memories, and he and his wife came back here as tourists in their fifties. He has a son back in the states and a daughter in Sydney, so when he decided to take a trip downunder he hired a private detective to try to locate me (as he's not great with computers and searches etc.) I'm not easy to google under my own name as although it's an unusual one, there's an Australian poet with exactly the same name, so all the hits are for her.

Anyway, eventually, through torturous routes via my old employment as a doctor, Dave got an address for me, but the street number was slightly wrong. (He wrote to me but it'll have been returned to sender). Luckily, today when he went to the wrong address across the road from me, a neighbour helped him to figure out the right number and he ended up on my doorstep.

So I was a bit muzzy, just woken up and no tea or breakfast yet, and my flat is a complete tip right now. Fionna who cleans for me Mondays is on a 3 week Christmas break, and every day I keep meaning to do a big tidy-up and put away dirty dishes and paper grocery delivery bags that are all in a big heap, but I hadn't gotten around to it due to a) painting seasonal cards each day, and, b) being obsessed with Heated Rivalry rewatches, fanfic, and art! Anyway, Dave didn't turn a hair at the mess, and frankly I'm past caring about that sort of shit these days.

We had a nice long talk, comparing notes about our lives.

I'm happily single - he was married, not very happily, had an affair then got divorced, then his wife died from cancer. He has twins - a son and daughter, in their 40s.
I'm staunchly leftist - he voted for Trump for specious conservative reasons and now regrets a lot of the Trump administration's bullshit. He didn't seem full-on MAGA but I told him I was anti-Trump so we wouldn't talk about that. He seems otherwise a nice guy, not bigoted, sings in his local choir, Christian in a social sort of way, cares about his kids, friends, and local community.
I was a doctor (a psychiatrist, then ran the local psych registrar training programme) - he was a farmer, then elected to the state legislature, then worked for a passenger rail company. We're both retired.
He's a prepper! He told me a little about how he's set up his farmhouse with a two year food supply and various other survivalist gear. I'm into apocafic, so weirdly we have something in common there, and have exchanged book recs for favourite post-apocalyptic series!
He's intrepid enough to still be traveling the world. He flies small planes and is having a space-age plane built. It's called the Samson Switchblade - a 2-seater plane that on landing, folds itself up into a fucking 3-wheeler sports car/bike! He plans to travel more widely in the states, once it's finished and delivered. Obviously he's well-off, from selling the farm's land (most to the government as flood mitigation rewilding), and a good pension after the legislature work. I'm also comfortably off due to a sensible superannuation plan (same as what he calls a pension) plus as an only child I inherited my parents' house, and sold my own. But I stopped flying anywhere after Covid, and never plan to get into an aeroplane again.
He's fairly trim, with just a knee replacement (used to be a runner), but he has Parkinson's disease, with a noticeable hand tremor. I'm generally healthy but also fat and profoundly unfit, with limited exercise tolerance.
He's not at all tech-savvy in terms of phones or computers, whereas I'm comfortable with all that and a lot "younger" than him in my internet activities.

None of those differences mattered - it was just nice to catch up again. We've exchanged emails, and I plan to write to him and tell him what a blast it was, seeing him once more after so many, many years. He's off to other parts of NZ now, and Australia.

I'm still feeling a little stunned, but that may be low blood sugar as I still haven't had breakfast.

Dave, thanks so much for remembering me and tracking me down. I hope you have a blast with your amazing transformer plane before the Parkinson's gets too bad (and that you never need that two year food supply).

Man, what a way to start the day!

What I said in my last post? Today is not that day...

There's now a DW comm for Heated Rivalry and the Game Changers series.

gamechangerhr - the profile page has several resources and events listed, like a big bang organised via tumblr.

And I did locate a Hollanov discord - here's an invite.

I was going kind of crazy trying to figure this out. Not that I'm obsessed or anything...

obsessional timeline (let me know if you spot anything wonky)

Massive SPOILERS for season 1, ofc!

I promise to post about other things! Soon!

As you may know, soon after filming Heated Rivalry, Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie made an audio erotica recording for the company quinn (available on mobiles as an app). It's an originally written audio porn paid subscriber app with largely male performers, mostly M/F stories (and most of those second person listener-insert), but with a few M/M and F/F offerings.

The Hudcon story is Ember and Ice, clearly intended as HR AU romantasy fanfic, where Finn (Hudson), and Dane (Connor) are rival fae princes, alternately fucking or at war with each other. Their HR personalities are maintained as Hudson is the dutiful, serious prince who only fucks Connor, and Connor is the promiscuous bisexual prince with daddy issues. It is, of course, a love story, just with a lot of explicit sex. The story's laughable overall, but no more poorly-written than a lot of fanfic, even if the worldbuilding leaves a lot to be desired. But that's not why we're here: we're here for Hudson and Connor delivering breathy porn dialogue with absolutely no fade to black. Overall, they both do the sex noises very well but I think Hudson is just a tad more uninhibited and realistic, especially nearing orgasm. Which fits with his persona from the press tour.

Hilariously, Ember and Ice has been so successful in the full frenzy of HR fandom that the quinn app crashed for a while yesterday with too many panting fans trying to sign on and sign in. Thus we now have wonderful tumblr posts like this.

Hudson and Connor also did a photoshoot for Ember & Ice, with tasteful dollar-shop gilt and silver wings to demonstrate their fae origins.

Two young men in jeans and singlets sitting entwined on an obviously fake mossy knoll with a small tree behind. Each has a small set of fake filigree wings on his back.

Two young men in jeans and singlets sitting entwined on an obviously fake mossy knoll with a small tree behind. Each has a small set of fake filigree wings on his back.

They must be having a ball! I love that they're undoubtedly giggling about all this and revelling in the nonsense, but their demeanour in the photoshoot and their voice acting in Ember & Ice is quality work, 100% professional (especially the sex noises).

And naturally, there's already a story in the Ember and Ice fandom on AO3, the fandom tag so new it hasn't been categorised yet. I predict many more!

ETA: more evidence! "I hope they get a really satiating love story", ha!

Agh, I just found the hollanov discord server.

And wrote my first 1800 words of HR fanfic.

Um... anyone up to alpha read it to give me feedback about whether it's worth continuing?

So season one is over, and we have to wait a year and a bit for season 2, because the script isn't written yet (whereas a year ago Jacob Tierney had the S1 script completed). I've already watched the existing eps at least twice, some three times, and have watched popular scenes many more times than that, in gifs.

Watching episode six was such a trip as by then I was fully immersed in the fandom. It dropped here at 7pm each time, and I made myself wait until after 9pm when it was dark before watching, as I like to be cocooned in a lighted bubble with the show. Then after the ep was finished I went to tumblr for the gifs, reactions, and meta, and today I rewatched it, picking up several small things others had noticed and blogged about. I'll rewatch the show again off and on - it's a comfort watch for me now - and while we wait for season 2 there'll be art, and fanfic.

( Read more... )

And in 2026 we'll get Connor in his first movie as a protagonist: April X. Dystopian sci-fi, already gathering kudos and in final production.

Hi guys - anyone able to beta a short (~2300) due South fic for me, for the Secret Santa? It's Fraser/Vecchio. Deadline for the go-live is the 24th Dec. TIA if you can!

I've always loved water in gardens, but for some years I only managed that through bird baths, which are also handy for emergency plant watering. Then I discovered my local big box store had cheap plastic half barrels, which I've used to repot a couple of small trees, but it occurred to me one would be perfect as a water garden. They came with no drainage holes, but I cut those with a hole saw in the two used as planters. So I got a couple of small water lilies and a black taro (they like sitting in water), and another marginal plant, planted them up in some old perforated peg baskets, and hey presto. Mosquitoes are easily managed by putting a chunk of mozzie dunk in the water (it releases bacillus thuringiensis that kills mozzie larvae, harmless to anything else).

Everything was lovely until two weeks later when I came out one morning to find the tub filled with mud and ripped up water lilies. Ducks. The bastards had gotten in and savaged the plants, rooted about in the planters, and bitten off all the water lily leaves. Not eaten the leaves, just ripped them off. That was when I remembered why I'd never tried to make a water garden here before.

But I had a water garden now, although it took a day to lift and redo the peg basket planters, replanting the sadly denuded lily roots in each one and running the water in the tub clear with a hose. I wasn't going to let the duck pack get the better of me!

One thing I enjoy with gardening is DIYing things. I've made tripods and more complex plant supports, mesh cubes to cover brassicas for my wheelibeds, and so forth. I lay awake in bed trying to figure out how to keep the damn ducks out, and finally had a plan. The duck dome. (shown lifted up off the water garden tub)

1. A circle of hose, joined by jamming a 4 inch bit of thick bamboo in to hold the ends together (a system I often use to make small hose circles to raise pots up for drainage).
2. Four 4-inch bits of hose attached to that circle with the bottom side slit open so as to fit over the lip of the plastic tub. Easier to take it on and off with just a few attachment points.
3. A number of long, thin privet branches slotted into holes drilled in the main hose circle, bent over to make the dome and tied where they cross. I wasted some time researching where to get willow slips for this, then realised I had what I needed already - several Chinese privets that are invasive but provide shade, and I keep them trimmed so they don't flower. They have long, straight branches which I've been using for a while as plant supports.

All that remained was to assemble the bits. It went pretty smoothly, although the privet branches weren't perfectly straight, but it adds to the rustic look. I'm happy with it, and it's been duckproof so far. The water lilies are both making a comeback, as well.

In other news, I posted pics of our local reservoir dam on common nature, here.

And I'm now completely obsessed with Heated Rivalry on TV. In between episodes I look at all the meta, gifs and despairing posts from other similarly obsessed fans on tumblr, have read the books, am now listening to the audiobooks (Connor Storrie does a vastly better Russian accent than the readers manage - I gather real Russians think he's actually Russian!), and am trying not to rewatch the eps too many times in the gaping voids between Fridays. It's bloody inconvenient, as I have less than a week to finish my due South and SGA Santa fics, but I'll get there. Here are three meta pieces about how THE SEX IS THE POINT, two collected by

machinistm, and one by Gav at the rec centre. Jacob Tierney is a fucking genius, and has taken Rachel Reid's (very readable) books to a new level, like Peter Jackson's loving LotR adaptations. Not to mention the explosive chemistry of Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie. Storrie is getting a little more attention as his performance of Ilya is spectacular, but I'm very fond of Hudson's Shane and when you see clips of Hudson being himself you realize how well and subtly he's performing the role. Plus Shane's such a sub; I just love him. God, four days to get through until Friday, but that's one ep a day, right? And then number five drops at 7pm. Not that I'm desperate, or anything...

Aaaand, another piece of art for my current obsession!

On AO3 and tumblr

It's Friday tomorrow, yay!

Another piece of art for my current obsession.

On AO3 and tumblr

Also I've realised what the TV series reminds me of. The Canadian govt-supported film company is called Crave, but it could easily be Gay Porn For Girls. Not because the series is actually porn, but because it's made by a team that understands how to film sex scenes.

Ok, I'm in. Extremely hot pretty boys, what's not to like? I did art of them, here on AO3. It's also on tumblr.

Shane in a dull blue hoodie at left, with Ilya leaning in to kiss him, in the stairwell of Shane's building.

So glad I don't use public transport these days, because as hillerska-official says

tumblr post by hillerska-official - Very hard to scroll tumblr on the bus in the current fandom climate (the hockey players are sucking each others dicks every other post)

tumblr post by hillerska-official - Very hard to scroll tumblr on the bus in the current fandom climate (the hockey players are sucking each others dicks every other post)

The show's on Neon in nz. Have been forced (forced!) to watch the initial two eps twice so far, and am working my way through the books by Rachel Reid.

It's that time of year again! Mine are more like New Year cards as I'm slow to start making them.

If you're on my card list but your mailing address has changed, let me know - replies to this post are screened.

And if you're not on my seasonal cards list and would like to be, also drop me a reply below, with your preferred postal name and address. I send them all over the world, so no worries about that.

I was up early yesterday and it was lovely, so I decided to take some pics. It's all very lush as we've had a fair bit of rain, mixed with sunny days as hot as midsummer. I think it's going to be a hot one, this year. I tried to include slightly more panoramic shots this time to give you some idea of my small garden which is almost all in pots and wheelibeds, as my rented unit has largely concrete and asphalt around it. Click on each pic for full size.

( pics under here )

Ok, so, I have a few basic games/apps I use on my iPad while listening to audiobooks or podfics, if I'm not doing art. This is partly as usually I seem to need another activity while listening, and partly as a way to keep my aging brain ticking over in various ways. Note that most have annoying ads which I either manage to avoid eg. by leaving the app smartly when I've solved the puzzle, or I get rid of by them paying the annual fee. These are:

Row of iPad icons, same as the apps described below.

Real Jigsaw - for spatial skills, pattern recognition, and as I upload art and photos I like (with a suitable level of intricacy) as the jigsaws.
Happy Colour - just basic colouring-in but there's a certain degree of attention and concentration needed to find all the damn little pale green bits numbered 115, etc. I like the mandalas and use a few as icons, also the silhouettes which are complex and have no lines marking colour patches, so are more of a surprise to complete.
Mah Jong - which bears no reaction to actual Mah Jong (I used to play that with friends and have a nice old set in a wooden box). Again, for pattern recognition.
Solitaire and FreeCell - I don't play them competitively or to beat prior scores, just to relax. I guess they use a number of cognitive skills.
Crosswords - I do one a day, for fun and to maintain and sometimes extend my vocabulary and word-finding. I make this manageable (hello, nominal dysphasia!) by using another app Wordplays that suggests answers to clues, plus internet searches for definitions, Rhymezone.com for synonyms, and gMaps for place names.

One thing with the crossword app (these are basic crosswords, not cryptics which I've never been able to do) is that you get used to the crossword maker's habits and favourite words. They like short 3-letter ones to fill in gaps, and one I've had to learn is "ani", for the clue "cuckoo".

And today, on tumblr, there she is! Ani from my crosswords!

Stocky black bird with a heavy bill, perched in a leafy tree.

What are your favourite things like this, to relax and pass the time? I should mention that I don't play any of the major games out there. I got into a Civilisation-like worldbuilding one for a while back in my thirties and became obsessed with it until it consumed a lot of my time. I've been kind of nervous about trying any since, even though I'm sure I'd love a lot of the visuals. Plus I have no interest in adding more layers of tech complexity to my life, like a high-powered gaming computer.

The latest xkcd made me cry (in a good way). For some reason it was the Northern lights pic that did it.

For those of you who like my garden photos, I did a post to

common_nature featuring self-seeded plants in my garden that I enjoy. It's here.

Since I last posted, my new phone sat there accusingly while I tried to ignore it. Then a friend said they'd have no idea and would need to take it to a shop to get it done, and I remembered I could get tech support!

Today a guy from GeeksOnWheels came by and struggled to get my wifi sorted so Apple would stop putting up warnings about "weak security". It took him four hours, and across much of that time I had no wifi to one or more of my devices (I'd planned ahead and downloaded fanfic). Eventually he decided my router was faulty, so I bought a new one from him and then it was resolved quickly (not a rip-off, he was very genuine). The call-out & router cost me almost as much as the new phone but it's done now and the phone (and my other devices) are working. Painless transfer of my data and apps, too. I'll need to update my iPad as well at some later point, but that should be manageable now the tricky stuff is sorted. So much for "user friendly" technology!

Got myself a Thai curry and gadogado via DoorDash as consolation for an angsty day, and now for an audiobook and arting session. Onwards!

Oh god I had to get a new iPhone as my old one was a stegosaurus and apps were starting to give me the finger. But now I have to set the new one up and I hates it, I hates it!

So far it won't even talk to my old dino-phone, or to my iPad which is barely more advanced, and it won't download everything from iCloud as my wifi is apparently using an old, insecure system, wpa2. So I have to upgrade that first and then will my iPad wifi and laptop wifi still work?? *grinds teeth*.

But in 20 minutes we go into a planned power cut so the local lines company can fix some urgent thingy, the second such in 3 days, which means I can postpone all this shit to another day.

Writing this to the sound of fireworks going off as Wednesday was Guy Fawkes night and with it now the weekend, lots of people saved their fireworks and we've had them exploding the last three days. You can set them off here anytime, but you can only buy them in the lead-up to Guy Fawkes once a year, in NZ law.

So I'm sitting here stumped by futuristic tech while being serenaded by a five centuries old celebration of averted English domestic terrorism.

Time for a nice cup of tea.

And the final Drawtober prompts for

drawesome - again combining more than one in each artwork. These ones turned out to have cosmological or geographical themes. All were made in Procreate - click on each for the full-sized pic. The individual posts, some with more detailed notes, are here.

Celestial Rhythms - prompts: "rhythm" & "celestial". Based on various animations of the spiralling motion
of our solar system planets as they charge along at over 200 kms per second. I snuck Pluto in there as well.

Forgotten Treasure - prompts: "undersea", "forgotten things", and "map"

The Big Bang - prompts: "noise" & "fire". Made with several different Procreate brushes

Dancing on the Bridge of Stars - prompts: "bridge of stars", "bell", "mask", & "balls".
The planets include Pluto and Ceres, because.

I am the Hurt and the Comfort

I am the evil tyrant, the abusive parent.
My charges are cruelly abandoned, tormented, neglected.
Trapped in small prisons their limbs strain, distorted,
They grow starved and pale, yellowed with hunger,
Allowed barely enough water to survive, brittle with thirst.

Then I am the saviour, making all things right.
I free them from their prisons, tuck them into lush new homes.
To the starved and the thirsty I give food and drink.
I bathe them in gentle water, straightening their abused limbs,
Debriding what cannot be saved so the whole may thrive.

This is about gardening.

God, how I love repotting.

More prompt-combo art from the

drawesome Drawtober challenge. The pics are all made in Procreate - you can click on each one for the full-sized art.

Captain Haddock's Favourite Recipe - prompts "captain's favourite" & "recipe" (fandom: Tintin)
Soup is the captain's favourite recipe... usually.

Ice Dragons Against a Wispy Sky - prompts: "dragons", "ice" & "wisp" (original work)

Four Ways To Eat an Egg - prompts: "propped up", "glitter", "flat" & "squashed" (original work)

Stranded - prompts: "desert ruin", "flutter" & "daydream" (Stargate Atlantis)

They huddled in the shelter of the ruins, the Stargate dead behind them, useless with its broken DHD.
John held Rodney close to him, feeling Rodney's rapid pulse flutter under his hand, and dreamed of rescue.

You can sign up for these until Oct 26th - HERE!.

Only a week to go before these close! The sign-up post is HERE.

I've been messing about in the garden, repotting and planting various things, and weeding what beds I have. We're in the midst of spring now so there are more flowers out, and my kōwhai tree is in full bloom. The weather's been living up to the Auckland tradition of "four seasons in one day", and there's been enough rain that I haven't had to do much watering, just in the rain shadow under the eaves. I'm enjoying getting back into gardening now it's warm enough, and the exercise is good. Here are some pics - the stars are the clivias I rescued from my old house before I moved. They're in two big containers and after two years here, are now happily rootbound and flowering. Cabbage species are also putting on a show.

( pics here )

First, thanks so much for making me a gift! I'll love whatever you want to make, but here are a few general guidelines about things I prefer and those I'd rather not receive.

Things I like: Competence, snark, partners/buddies/teamwork, plot, drama, and adventures, humor, traditional fandom tropes given a new breath of life or subverted/inverted. I love worldbuilding, be it an alien world, or fantasy, or the past or far future.

I'm happy with any rating, will enjoy any kink if it's done well, and like gen just as much as explicit. In fics, I prefer high-rated aspects to serve the story and not just be PWP or gratuitous, and am just as happy with slow-burn and UST, or a romantic outcome rather than a sex scene. Kissing is always good but in fic, please no mouths clashing together - it makes me wince and worry about chipped teeth!

Things I don't like: (none of these are triggers, as I don't really have any, but I'd prefer not to get them). Extreme angst or whump, or hurt-comfort with very little comfort at the end, partner betrayal, animal harm, major character death and sad or tragic endings. Some angst and tension is fine, but I'd rather it didn't overwhelm the work and would prefer a hopeful ending.

What I mentioned in my sign-up: My main OTP is Fraser/Kowalski, but I'm just as happy for gen friendship between Fraser and either or both Rays, polyamory with both Rays, or the Rays getting together. I'm also very fond of Diefenbaker.

Seriously, whatever takes your fancy will be great - just have fun and I'll appreciate whatever you make. :)

Our annual October art challenge is underway over at

drawesome. I've been combining some of the prompts where possible as it adds an extra twist. The pics are all made in Procreate - you can click on each one for the full-sized art. The individual posts are here.

"through a window" & "molten"

"friendship" & "pool"

"mushroom procession"

"ignite" (mushroom procession at night)

"fluffy" and "under the bed"

There's not a lot flowering yet, at the end of (for Auckland) an especially cold, wet, windy winter. I haven't felt much like gardening until the past couple of weeks and am just getting back into it now, refurbishing pots of bulbs and lilies, trying to plant snap peas (if enough of them ever sprout!)

Of course, there are other reasons why I've felt like huddling indoors, and I've been dealing with more anxiety - as I imagine, most of us have. It's sometimes hard to figure out which reality is "real" - is the cheerful busyness I feel on good days accurate, or is it denial? Is the trepidation of bad days realistic, or "through a glass darkly"? I've also considered whether my previous bout of thyroid overactivity might be coming back - I've been off the medication for it for ten months now. It can cause jitteriness, but there's more than enough cause for that without looking for medical culprits. I'll get a test when my GP arranges the form, anyway. I'm also temporarily carless - it threw up a load of warning lights and balked at starting so is at the mechanics. That might be making me feel unsettled as well.

Good things to focus on are the enjoyment of getting my hands into dirt again, watching the local sparrows mobbing the bird feeder when I fill it with seeds, a big rice-cooker of bean, veggie, kumara & chilli stew which has taken care of several days of meals, and some excellent books I've been reading and will review soon.

Have a few garden pics, meanwhile.


Return of the giant Mexican sunflower! (by my Dalek compost bin)	White primula in the agapanthus leaves

Fairy crassula in a hanging basket	Tub of succulents

Impatiens at the base of a leafless Japanese maple	Ipheion (Starflower)

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