In Loving Memory Of Our Mom - Gae Terena Beckstrom

Gae Terena Morrow Beckstrom (56) loving wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, teacher, and friend, born July 22, 1955 passed away November 10, 2011 after a courageous fight with cancer. She is now reunited with her parents, David Lendrum Morrow III and Yvonne Easthope Morrow and brother Roy Morrow. She is survived by her husband, Blake D. Beckstrom (Taylorsville, UT); her children, Erin (Jonathan) Thomas (West Valley City, UT), Emily (David) Smith (Kearns, UT), Adam (Andrea) Beckstrom (Alexandria, VA), and Jamilyn (Nathan) Morris (Taylorsville, UT); sisters Dawn (Mark) Yarbro (Ft. Worth, TX), Rachel Morrow (Kearns, UT) and brother Darren (Becky) Morrow (Riverton, UT); and 7 grandchildren. Her family is her greatest love and she lived to serve them. Gae and Blake met at Kearns High School and were married in the Salt Lake Temple on June 24, 1977. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in Elementary Education with an Early Childhood Development specialty. She loved teaching children. Gae taught kindergarten at David Gourley Elementary for 5 years before retiring to raise her growing family. After a few years, she opened a home preschool (Early Bird) which she taught for 17 years. She returned to public school in 2002, teaching kindergarten at Lone Peak Elementary and then Monte Vista Elementary schools. She touched the lives of hundreds of young children who brought immense joy to her life in return. During her last two years, while teaching full-time and fighting cancer, she was driven to complete her Masters Degree in Elementary Education from SUU. She also had an undying love for animals of all kinds. She loved music, played the guitar, and instilled a love of music in her children. She taught her children and grandchildren to read and to love books. She filled many ward and stake church callings in Primary, Young Womens’, and Relief Society as a teacher and leader, and served in the Jordan River Temple as an ordinance worker. She also performed humanitarian service by helping orphans in Romania. She was loved, and will be deeply missed, by all who knew her. Funeral services will be held on Wednesday, November 16th at 11:00 AM at the Bennion 12th Wardhouse (6540 S. 2700 W., Taylorsville, UT). Friends may visit at a viewing beginning an hour before the funeral, or at McDougal Funeral Home (4330 S. Redwood Road, Taylorsville, UT) on Tuesday, November 15th from 6:00 to 8:00 PM. We love you mom, and we will miss you!

Carboblahblahblah...

I rested from the old chemotherapy until July 8th. Spa Huntsman was ready to let me pay for the privilege of having Carboplatin--my crazy insurance company still won't let us have it covered. Now, more than a week later, my red blood counts are low, low, low. I can sleep anywhere, for any duration. I'm a little nauseous and a little dizzy. It's been a hard decision whether or not to risk teaching this year. But I did sign my letter of intent, so I hope I did the right thing. Something about "reason to get up in the morning" feels right. The decisions we make now are difficult. But a happy day with my grandsons reminded me of one good reason to choose life, even if it is an altered life.

Things I Don't Like

Dr. N. began talking almost before he got the door open, as usual. He greeted me and asked how I was feeling, then said, "There are things on this report that I don't like!" He proceeded to explain the several tiny, new tumors and inflamations I have going on in my body. One under the bone in my right shoulder. One glittering lymph node in the central area of my right upper chest. A small tumor on a bone in my lower back. A large, inflammatory area in my left upper chest. Etc. etc. etc. "So, I want to do something new--I want to use Carboplatin (previously declined by my insurance) and, let's see, they shot us down last time, so I need to appeal and get that approved. We don't want to wait...what's your schedule like next week?" I'm still sick. Sicker. But, there are therapies to try that are worth appealing and enthusiasm for a better diagnosis next PET/CT. What's not to like?

PET/CT

Tomorrow I will hear the result of my latest PET/CT scan. I hope I have enough courage!

Miracle On File

I got a repeat performance of the Coughing Miracle on Friday at my PET/CT scan. I've been coughing for two weeks with allergies (or a cold?) The coughing continued as I rested in my recliner waiting the 45 minutes it takes for radioactive glucose to make it's path through my bloodstream. Once I got on the skinny board, arms above my head in my "special needs" pillowcase, warming blanket placed, I rode out the next 30 minutes with zero disturbance to the hum of the clostro-tube! Don't know how it works, but I'm grateful that I have a miracle on file. Dr. N will interpret the new results on Friday, June 24. Maybe I'll have chemo that day, maybe not. Back to the old Catch 22--if the chemo seems to be "working" I'll have more. If it isn't working, I'll have a new kind, if my blood work shows that my body can take it. If my body is too worn down for more chemo, we'll stop, and as problems arise, they'll keep me comfortable. What to want...what to want...

Disarmament

Yes, I am stuck in monotony here on the blog. I'm having a hard time getting enthused about the cancer report, when all there is to say is, "abscess still draining". An elephant could have grown a new trunk by now! But, tomorrow, cough withstanding, there will be a new PET/CT scan. That holds promise for some fresh material, don't you think? There IS my mysterious, low-grade fever, climbing and descending at will, despite Tylenol, making me feel like a damp rag. I suppose I could report about that. I'm not as brave about going to the PET/CT as I used to be. My arms don't go up that well right now. So. Time to play the glad game. 1.I have arms. 2.They still want to do a PET/CT. 3.I live close to a cancer center (gratitude is always dependable for dis"arm"ing (snicker)a pity party!) What makes YOU grateful?

Monotony

My life reads like a shampoo bottle: Use warm water. Apply 1 Tylenol 3. Select 1 of 3 meds for nausea and apply liberally. Rinse. Apply 300 mg Keflex. Rinse well. Apply heat and sleep 4-6 hours. Awake. Shake. Repeat as needed...