http://imgur.com/crbu2
http://imgur.com/Rj3Fq (hurf durf)

Body shots later if I feel like it/another human being is around.

Currently 195, btw. Some setbacks this month. Last week and this one I've been eating at a huge deficit and exercising a bit extra.

Music: London Elektricity - Just One Second (Apex Remix)

So last week I had a pretty major setback. I dunno if it was water weight or not, I know I made some mistakes in my diet, but I came up 203. Naturally, I was discouraged, but I quickly turned it into resolve. I was very strict in my calorie intake and exercise, eating at a deficit (but not starving myself) and cardio for an hour every day. I also didn't drink all week so that cut my calories even further.

It paid off. This week, I came up 196.2lbs. That's a big deal in two ways; one, I just lost seven pounds in one week. That's of course a pound a day, and I don't remember making that kinda progress in one week since I was still over 300lbs. The second way it's a big deal is that I've just passed another milestone. When I started this journey I was 347lbs, so now with me at 196 I've just passed the 150 mark, which I've had my eye on for some time.

I guess my body learned a lesson this week, and that's "Do not fuck with me. I'm doing this."

198. I guess it's kind of a big deal, 200 has been my goal since I started this journey all those years ago. Now that I'm here, I see there's so much more work to be done, but it feels good. I feel accomplished.

The last time I weighed this little, I didn't know any of you who could possibly read this. I may have not even been on the internet yet, come to think of it. The very latest it coulda been is maybe the turn of the century, but honestly I feel it's more like 1998-1999. I was 12-15. I'm 25 now. It's been a long time. I can barely remember.

Of course, I look big still, though significantly less so. There's the question of extra skin and what not, but I don't think I'll worry about that until I get down to around 170 or so. Then I'll look into options for that.

So it's the end of one road, the start of another. I gotta say it feels damn good to meet a goal, especially one set so long ago. I think tonight I'll go through all my clothes and try a buncha stuff on. And then get hammered, put on makeup and dance around to Q Lazzarus' "Goodbye Horses."

Because I'd fuck me.

I'd fuck me hard.

Finally saw Tron: Legacy. It was a lot of fun; I was pleasantly surprised by it all in all. There were bits that I thought wouldn't work and did, and I was only mildly disappointed with things I thought would work that didn't.


A couple spoiler free pros/cons, though I'm not gonna type all day so I'll only say a few. This isn't a goddamned movie blog.

Pro:

De-aged Jeff Bridges (Surprised me, I thought this would be too distracting to be effective. Was ecstatic to be wrong.)

Atmosphere. This film knew what it wanted to be, and accomplished it in spades, visually and aurally. And speaking of aurally...

Daft Punk's score. A lot of people hated on it and said it was mostly generic Zimmer-esque scoring but I disagree. They showed themselves to be masters of their craft with this work, even if it's more subtle than, say, Discovery. And let's face it, the people hating on the score had unrealistic expectations. This is Tron, not Interstella 5555. You're not going to get Discovery as a score, but I digress. This score is essential to the film.


Cons:

Lack of 3D. I hoped there'd be more, I'm not sure if it justified the premium price, but I did enjoy what there was.

Rinzler. Can't say more without spoiling.

Ending. Again, can't say more without spoiling but I'd hoped it wouldn't go that route even though I expected it to before ever sitting down at the theatre.

So I've missed my new years goal. I weighed in yesterday, and I'm 204 even.

But here's the thing... this is still a victory. Earlier this month I strained my achilles tendon through overuse. Naturally, all of my exercise literally stopped outright save for minimal walking, so really all I could do was just watch my eating.

I was 206 when I hurt my achilles. And somehow, in the last two and a half weeks, I've managed to lose two more pounds, without even getting to exercise. This alone would be impressive to me and worth celebrating but the fact Christmas was in that span of time makes this astounding. Christmas Day I literally ate every single piece of food I could find and generally was a huge, gluttonous fatass with my consumption, and it's a huge weight off my shoulders to know I didn't fuck everything up in my overindulgence.

So yeah, go me. Bring it on. 2011's the year this fight ends once and for all.

208lbs, 9:50 min mile. Not gonna make my goal of 200 by Jan. 1st I don't think, but whatever.

212.

That means I just need to lose 6lbs this month and six more next month to meet my goal of 200 by January 1st, 2011.

Still 215. A bit disappointing considering I exercised five times this week, (three times at the gym, two cardio outside.) Though, I also acknowledge a few mistakes I made with meals this week, too. Regardless, seeing it I realized it's probably best not to weigh myself every week. I thought it'd be a good idea to do so, so I could keep morale up and see that I'm continuously losing, but if I'm not actually gonna be continuously losing then it really only serves to break my morale, which isn't difficult to do in the first place.

I ran a mile in 10:50 today, which isn't much better than my previous time of 11:20ish, but is an improvement nonetheless. So I'll concentrate on the little victories instead of the little failures.

215. Great and all, but sad when I look back at a post in 2007 where I was 223. I shoulda been done with this shit a long time ago. Still, this is the farthest I've come thus far, so I should concentrate on the positive.

So I was watching an episode of Cosmos on youtube. An episode about human learning, how far we've come. The last section of the episode I watched, since they're all cut up into pieces, part five of six, was about libraries and how great it is how humans can share knowledge so easily, how far we've come in so little time. The piece ends, and so I go on to part 6 to finish the episode. But then I find the audio has been removed. "NOTICE This video contains an audio track that has not been authorized by WMG. The audio has been disabled." I'm watching a man teach about how beautiful it is for the species to pass on information freely and easily, and then, he's silenced. Shame on WMG, and honestly shame on the system that honors this kind of bullshit.

Sagan would be so angry at this. I am too.

Mood: aggravated