Erasing the past.....

5 years ago I abandoned this blog and made a new one for the new life I had.  Well that life turned out to be not only false but painful and very damaging.  When I saw something the other day that mentioned a blog,  I remembered mine. I have since deleted the new life blog along with any posts on this one that led up to that one.  I am not one for regretting or erasing your past but the three years from April of 2010 to June of 2013, I would erase in a heartbeat.  I have removed every sign of that time possible and am basically down to fixing the tattoo on my arm and a few accounts that have been a pain in the button getting my name changed on.

When I read back through some of the posts on here,  I found it kind of funny how many times I swore I was finally ok,  I finally healed,  I was finally over the most tragic thing in my life.  I'm not quite sure you can ever completly get over something that shattered your world.  I've had that happen twice,  once with my first divorce and again in June of 2013. I know in the last 7 years I have come closer to finding myself than I ever have in my life,  but I have also come just as close to losing myself.

I know my struggle is not over,  I know I still have a lifetime of struggle ahead of me.  The only thing I know for sure, is I will make it.  I may feel like I'm losing it,  I may cry til I can't cry anymore,  but I will pull through it and I will make it.

I miss writing this,  I miss putting the memories I want the kids to know about into words.

I hate thinking of titles lol

I know its been awhile, things have been crazy hectic lately. Kids are all doing great! I am having a blast with them this summer. Its going to be so hard when Starla & Anakin leave at the end of summer, i may have to stuff them in a closet and act like i dont know where they are so I can keep them lol. Theres really not much more than that to say, we have just played lol.

I applied for the LPN classes that start Sept 1st, I got into the group interview so I am VERY excited! The interview is next Monday at 7:30! I am nervous but am hoping for the best! I want this SO bad!

We Are Nashville

By

Patten Fuqua

Published: May 4, 2010

Allow me a moment to step away from the usual voice of this website.

What I am about to write has absolutely nothing to do with hockey.

If you live outside of Nashville, you may not be aware, but our city was hit by a 500-year flood over the last few days. The national news coverage gave us 15 minutes, but went back to focusing on a failed car bomb and an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. While both are clearly important stories, was that any reason to ignore our story? It may not be as terror-sexy as a failed car bomb or as eco-sexy as an oil spill, but that’s no reason to be ignored.

The Cumberland River crested at its highest level in over 80 years. Nashville had its highest rainfall totals since records began. People drowned. Billions of dollars in damage occurred. It is the single largest disaster to hit Middle Tennessee since the Civil War. And yet…no one knows about it.

Does it really matter? Eventually, it will…as I mentioned, there are billions of dollars in damage. It seems bizarre that no one seems to be aware that we just experienced what is quite possibly the costliest non-hurricane disaster in American history. The funds to rebuild will have to come from somewhere, which is why people need to know. It’s hard to believe that we will receive much relief if there isn’t a perception that we need it.

But let’s look at the other side of the coin for a moment. A large part of the reason that we are being ignored is because of who we are. Think about that for just a second. Did you hear about looting? Did you hear about crime sprees? No…you didn’t. You heard about people pulling their neighbors off of rooftops. You saw a group of people trying to move two horses to higher ground. No…we didn’t loot. Our biggest warning was, “Don’t play in the floodwater.” When you think about it…that speaks a lot for our city. A large portion of why we were being ignored was that we weren’t doing anything to draw attention to ourselves. We were handling it on our own.

Some will be quick to find fault in the way rescue operations were handled, but the fact of the matter is that the catastrophe could not have been prevented and it is simply ignorant beyond all reason to suggest otherwise. It is a flood. It was caused by rain. You can try to find a face to stick this tragedy to, but you’ll be wrong.

Parts of Nashville that could never even conceivably be underwater were underwater. Some of them still are. Opry Mills and the Opryland Hotel are, for all intents and purposes, destroyed. People died sitting in standstill traffic on the Interstate. We saw boats going down West End. And, of course, we all saw the surreal image of the portable building from Lighthouse Christian floating into traffic and being destroyed when cars were knocked into it. I’m still having trouble comprehending all of it.

And yet…life will go on. We’ll go back to work, to school, to our lives…and we’ll carry on. In a little over a month, I’ll be on this website talking about the draft. In October, we’ll be discussing the new Predators’ season with nary a thought of these past few days. But in a way, they changed everyone in this town. We now know that that it can happen to us…but also know that we can handle it.

Because we are Nashville.

http://www.section303.com/we-are-nashville-4366

Floods, Kids, & Crawfish

Last weekend middle TN got hit by such a bad storm that Nashville and surrounding cities flooded. The damage that has been cause and the lives affected just makes me so heartsick! The waters have finally started receding but id say its going to be a long time before these cities are repaired and back to where they were. Some cities are so small they may not ever fully recover, it is really sad. As bad as the economy is now this flood is really going to hurt. With the pictures I have seen of Nashville and Carthage it just breaks my heart! I grew up in both places, we lived all around Nashville until I was almost 13 and then moved to Smith County. I went to high school there & friends I graduated with have lost so much! It has truly made me realize how lucky I am for what I have in my life, my babies, my family and friends and even the roof over my head!

Jade, Piper and Evan have had so much energy built up from being stuck in side all weekend that its just unreal! lol They were out of school Monday and Tuesday due to the flooding. They went back today, the house was strangely quiet! lol I was kinda lost this morning! lol Starla and Anakin went back to school today too. I get to have them all this weekend for mothers day! SO excited! We had to switch weekends around to make it work but instead of switching two weekends in a row, we just split the kids up and i took Starla and Anakin and Stephen took Jade and Piper. We didn't get to do much cause of the storms tho.

We have been having some strange holes in ground and had no idea what they were. We were told they are crawfish burrows, so I google searched it and the pictures I found online look exactly like whats in our yard! weird huh? lol

weekend news & more

So I had almost a half of page of updates and left the pc unattended while I was on the phone and my lovely nephew erased it all! lol ok apparently he POSTED it!!! I wasnt ready for that!! I removed it now!

Things are going really good! I have been so happy lately! My babies are all doing good
I got to have Starla and Anakin for a whole week on their spring break! I had a blast with them! and I am thrilled I get to have them Monday through Friday all summer!! They are excited too! Jade and Piper got report cards, they both did really well. Jade had 2 grades that dropped by a few points but I know she really tried, so she will be getting her phone back this week! She is excited! lol She also now has a facebook to be able to talk to her friends on, she has family on there now but they are pretty much a trial basis, she knows this and is ok with it. She was thrilled she got to talk to Aunt Pat on there! Piper is just as silly as ever! lol They went to their dads last weekend and came home in pretty good moods which I love! It means they had a good time there! They talked non-stop ALL the way home! lol
We had our family pictures done, I invited Stephen and OKed it with the photographer, the kids LOVED that he came and got to have pictures with them. We also did a couple of the 6 of us together for the kids, we have really tried to reaffirm that we are still a family even though Stephen and I are not together anymore.

I had a phone call hearing this morning because my unemployment is being disputed, ill know in 7-10 days if I am going to lose it.

umm....I cant think of anything else and I need to move away from the pc so i guess i better post this now before Evan does! lol