1562 – Pope Pius IV reopens the Council of Trent for its third and final session. Trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube from the Protestant Reformation

1778 – James Cook is the first known European to discover the Hawaiian Islands, which he names the “Sandwich Islands”. We know he was there because his birth announcement is in a Hawaiian newspaper..

1788 – The first elements of the First Fleet carrying 736 convicts from Great Britain to Australia arrive at Botany Bay. Another great nation forms using Britain’s rejects.

1871 – Wilhelm I of Germany is proclaimed the first German Emperor in the ‘Hall of Mirrors’ of the Palace of Versailles towards the end of the Franco-Prussian War. The empire was known as The Second Reich to the Germans. Paris is known as “Berlin West” and is a favorite for German Army R&R.

1911 – Eugene B. Ely lands on the deck of the USS Pennsylvania stationed in San Francisco harbor, marking the first time an aircraft landed on a ship.

1919 – World War I: The Paris Peace Conference opens in Versailles, France. Versailles? Isn’t that where Kaiser Wilhelm I was crowned? Germany says, “Don’t go getting used to this place…”

1943 – Warsaw Ghetto Uprising: The first uprising of Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto. Die fighting? Or die while being herded like cattle? This “Ghetto Uprising” wasn’t about stealing sneakers and big-screen TV’s.

1945 – Liberation of the Budapest ghetto and Krakow, Poland by the Red Army. That’s what wikipedia says. Occupation by the army of one murderous dictator is superseded by occupation by the army of an even MORE murderous dictator. We all know that the real liberation didn’t take place until 1990.

1974 – A Disengagement of Forces agreement is signed between the Israeli and Egyptian governments, ending conflict on the Egyptian front of the Yom Kippur War. Considering that when the shooting stopped Israel was in artillery distance of Damascus and practically had a red carpet into Cairo… (and MY factory-new M60A1 tank)

1990 – Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry was arrested for drug possession in an FBI sting. It’s what we expect for ‘leadership’ in any majority-dimmocrat city.

1993 – For the first time, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is officially observed in all 50 states. In a demonstration of institutional racism at work, it’s the ONLY national holiday dedicated to a single human being by name.

1998 – Lewinsky scandal: Matt Drudge breaks the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair story on his website The Drudge Report. “I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky” becomes the quote that best characterizes the Clinton presidency. Lesser known is the fact that when ol’ Bill was saying it, he was surreptitiously looking at Monica and pointing to Hillary.

2003 – A bushfire kills four people and destroys more than 500 homes in Canberra, Australia. Governor Newsome of Californika and Mayor Bass of L.A. say “hold my beer! We got this!”

2019 – An petroleum pipeline explosion near Tlahuelilpan, Hidalgo, Mexico, kills 137 people. Somebody punched the pipe to steal gasoline.

1362 – Saint Marcellus’ flood kills at least 25,000 people on the shores of the North Sea. Global warming!

1562 – France recognizes the Huguenots by the Edict of Saint-Germain. Ten years later the government would condone the Saint Bartholomew’s Day Massacre, where thousands of Huguenots were killed. When you believe that the benevolent ‘government’ grants you your rights, remember “The government giveth, and the government taketh away…” Second Amendment, anyone?

1773 – Captain James Cook leads the first expedition to sail south of the Antarctic Circle. It’s summer there.

1811 – Mexican War of Independence: In the Battle of Calderón Bridge, a heavily outnumbered Spanish force of 6,000 troops defeats nearly 100,000 Mexican revolutionaries.

1821 – Mexico permits Moses Austin & 300 US families to settle in Texas. You KNOW how this is gonna end…

1885 – A British force defeats a large Dervish army at the Battle of Abu Klea in the Sudan. Final tally: 74 dead Brits, 1100 dead whatevers.

1899 – The United States takes possession of Wake Island in the Pacific Ocean. Japan takes it in 1941. We get it back in 1945.

1917 – The United States pays Denmark $25 million for the Virgin Islands. “I visited the Canary Islands. Didn’t see a single canary. Visited the Virgin Islands. No canaries there either.

1944 – World War II: Allied forces launch the first of four assaults on Monte Cassino with the intention of breaking through the Winter Line and seizing Rome, an effort that would ultimately take four months and cost 105,000 Allied casualties. The Germans put up a bigger fight defending Italy than the Italians did.

1945 – World War II: Soviet forces capture the almost completely destroyed Polish city of Warsaw. Why was it destroyed? Because the Soviets held off on the attack until the German Army had pretty much wiped out the Polish freedom fighters. The Soviets let the Germans save them the trouble of having to kill all those pesky Poles themselves.

1966 – A B-52 bomber collides with a KC-135 Stratotanker over Spain, dropping three 70-kiloton nuclear bombs near the town of Palomares and another one into the sea in the Palomares incident. Oops!

1969 – Black Panther Party members Bunchy Carter and John Huggins are killed by members of a competing black activist group during a meeting in Campbell Hall on the campus of UCLA. The founder of the offending group goes on to a brilliant career in racial politics and invents Kwanzaa.

1982 – As global warming grips the nation, “Cold Sunday” in the United States would see temperatures fall to their lowest levels in over 100 years in numerous cities. Al Gore takes note.

1998 – Lewinsky scandal: Matt Drudge breaks the story of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair on his website The Drudge Report. Da*ned internet! A politician can’t even get a little on the side without everybody making a big deal about it! How do you fix it? Bill’s famous “eatin’ ain’t cheatin’” defense. Try THAT one on YOUR spouse.

2002 – Mount Nyiragongo erupts in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, displacing an estimated 400,000 people. Other things that displace 400,000 people in Africa? Presidential ‘succession’, for one…

2016 – President Barack Obama announces the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, an agreement intended to limit Iran’s nuclear program. It’s just words on paper. President Trump quit talking and bombed their butts.

27 BC – Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus is granted the title Augustus by the Roman Senate, marking the beginning of the Roman Empire. It lasts until diversity overcomes.

1547 – Ivan IV of Russia a.k.a. Ivan the Terrible becomes Czar of Russia. If we did the same thing, we suffered under the administration of Barack the Pussy. Then we were under the leadership of Slow Joe the Idiot.

1492 – The first grammar of the Spanish language (Gramática de la lengua castellana) is presented to Queen Isabella I.
It’s amazing what can be done after they run the muslims out of the country.

1883 – The Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act, establishing the United States Civil Service, is passed. The “Spoils System” of filling federal jobs gives way to “civil service” and that’s how we end up with a vast unresponsive self-perpetuating bureaucracy. Previously, the incoming administration could replace the entire Federal government from Cabinet down to the Postmaster in Armpit, Alabama. This works MUCH better.

1919 – Temperance movement: The United States ratifies the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, authorizing Prohibition in the United States one year after ratification. Alcohol ceases to be a problem in America as the nation quietly accepts the prohibitions. Right?!? Works for drugs, too. And now the Left says we’ll try it with guns.

1920 – The League of Nations holds its first council meeting in Paris, France. That’s the equivalent of the first meeting of a chastity club taking place in a whorehouse.

1939 – Franklin D. Roosevelt asks for an extension of the Social Security Act to include more women and children. “Look at the edge of the tent! Is that a camel’s nose?” Now, a significant element of Social Security payouts is “crazy checks” to the parents of children diagnosed with “developmental disorders,” usually ADD (All Disappearing Daddies).

1945 – The U.S. First and Third armies link up at Houffalize, effectively ending the Battle of the Bulge. It’s all over for Germany now. They keep fighting, but it’s all over. On the same date, Adolf Hitler moves to his Fuhrerbunker in Berlin, where he stays until his suicide.

1956 – President Gamal Abdel Nasser of Egypt vows to reconquer Palestine. Yeah! Good luck with that! The Israelis might have other plans. And what is “palestine” now is a Fourth-World shithole held afloat by massive influxes of foreign money.

1957 – Three B-52s leave California for first non-stop round world flights. Mid-air refueling makes the trip possible. In 1986, Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager did the trick without refueling in Voyager, a Burt Rutan design.

1979 – The Shah of Iran flees Iran with his family and relocates to Egypt. Upon losing the heavy hand of a horrible dictatorial despot, Iran goes forth to be a beacon of freedom in the world. Right?

1986 – First meeting of the Internet Engineering Task Force. Al Gore oddly absent.

2001 – Congolese President Laurent-Désiré Kabila is assassinated by one of his own bodyguards. This is one common method of presidential succession in Africa. Another involves the outgoing president absconding with the contents of the national treasury.

2001 – US President Bill Clinton awards former President Theodore Roosevelt a posthumous Medal of Honor for his service in the Spanish–American War, because if there’s EVER a president who understands bravery in combat, it’s Bill Clinton. After all, his own loving wife, Hillary, dodged sniper fire in Bosnia.

2016 – Thirty-three out of 126 freed hostages are injured and 23 killed in terrorist attacks in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso on a hotel and a nearby restaurant. Wanna play “Guess the Religion”?

1541 – King Francis I of France gives Jean-François Roberval a commission to settle the province of New France (Canada) and provide for the spread of the “Holy Catholic faith”. “Hurry up before those heathen English get there!”

1782 – Superintendent of Finance Robert Morris goes before the U.S. Congress to recommend establishment of a national mint and decimal coinage. Otherwise we’d have had to deal with all that “bob” and “quid” and such. Quaint and all that but tough for math…

1870 – A political cartoon for the first time symbolizes the United States Democratic Party with a donkey (“A Live Jackass Kicking a Dead Lion” by Thomas Nast for Harper’s Weekly).

1889 – The Coca-Cola Company, then known as the Pemberton Medicine Company, is originally incorporated in Atlanta, Georgia. A fortune is to be made selling fizzy flavored water.

1907 – The 3-element vacuum tube patented by Dr Lee De Forest. That’s the “triode”. It can amplify signals among other functions and was the basis for modern electronics before the transistor. The youngsters called this “hollow state” as opposed to solid-state electronics. And there was enough heat coming off the finals of a tube amplifier to keep your coffee mug warm…

1919 – Boston Molasses Disaster: A large molasses tank (2 million gallons) in Boston, bursts and a wave of molasses rushes through the streets, killing 21 people and injuring 150 others.

1936 – The first building to be completely covered in glass, built for the Owens-Illinois Glass Company, is completed in Toledo, Ohio. They don’t work well when faced with a Category 4 hurricane. This is our example after Hurricane Laura in 2020::

1943 – The world’s largest office building, The Pentagon, is dedicated in Arlington, Virginia. “Four walls plus a spare”

1966 – The First Nigerian Republic, led by Abubakar Tafawa Balewa is overthrown in a military coup d’état. That’s less painless than a lot of African politics. And lest you get snarky, Nigeria’s only on to the Fourth Republic. France is on its #5.

1967 – The first Super Bowl is played in Los Angeles, California. Green Bay Packers defeat Kansas City Chiefs 35-10

1970 – Muammar Gaddafi is proclaimed premier of Libya. He survived until his personal check written to the Clinton Foundation bounced.

2009 – US Airways Flight 1549 makes an emergency landing into the Hudson River shortly after takeoff from LaGuardia Airport in New York City. “We’re gonna be in the Hudson”. Captain “Sully” Sullenberger and crew do what they are trained to do, and all passengers and crew members survive.

1607 – The Bank of Genoa fails after announcement of national bankruptcy in Spain. What?!?! No bailout????

1793 – Nicolas Jean Hugon de Bassville, representative of Revolutionary France, is lynched by a mob in Rome. He took his woke shit that was all the rage in France, and the Italians protested actively.

1830 – The Great Fire of New Orleans, Louisiana begins. FEMA slow to respond. Bush widely blamed. Today, that fire would be an improvment.

1842 – Dr. William Brydon, a surgeon in the British Army during the First Anglo-Afghan War, becomes famous for being the sole survivor of an army of 16,500 when he reaches the safety of a garrison in Jalalabad. Britain clearly needed an exit strategy.

1846 – President James Polk dispatches General Zachary Taylor and 4,000 troops to the Texas border as war with Mexico looms.

1906 – First radio set advertised (Telimco for $7.50 ($250 in today’s monopoly money) in Scientific American) claimed to receive signals up to one mile.

1920 – NY Times editorial (falsely) reports rockets can never fly. Continuing on a long tradition of truth and fact…

1935 – A plebiscite in Saarland shows that 90.3% of those voting wish to join Nazi Germany. When it comes to vote-rigging though, the Nazis are slackers. Some precincts in the US went over 100% of their voting age population in support of Hillary.

1939 – The Black Friday bushfires burn 20,000 square kilometers of land in Australia, claiming the lives of 71 people. Clearly a result of global warming.

1942 – Henry Ford patents a soybean car, which is 30% lighter than a regular car. Now we’ve got soybois, which are 95% lighter in the loafers than regular men.

1942 – World War II: First use of an aircraft ejection seat by a German test pilot in a Heinkel He 280 jet fighter.

1953 – An article appears in Pravda accusing some of the most prestigious and prominent doctors, mostly Jews, in the Soviet Union of Speaking against CDC COVID guidelines taking part in a vast plot to poison members of the top Soviet political and military leadership.

1957 – Wham-O Company produces the first Frisbee.

1966 – Robert C. Weaver becomes the first African American Cabinet member by being appointed United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, becoming the first in a long line of incompetent racial tokens appointed by dimmocrat presidents to pander to the black vote, and if you want to look at urban ‘development, just look at any major city’s ‘vibrant diversity’ areas. You’ll feel like you were in Mogadishu.

1972 – Prime Minister Kofi Abrefa Busia and President Edward Akufo-Addo of Ghana are ousted in a bloodless military coup by Colonel Ignatius Kutu Acheampong. Africa being Africa.

1990 – A seven-day pogrom breaks out against the Armenian civilian population of Baku, Azerbaijan during which Armenians were beaten, tortured, murdered, and expelled from the city. They learned well from the Turks.

1993 – The Chemical Weapons Convention (CWC) is signed. High school chemistry, anyone?

2012 – The passenger cruise ship Costa Concordia sinks off the coast of Italy. There are 32 deaths (and a few people still missing) amongst the 4232 passengers and crew. Its Italian captain sets a new standard for selflessness and sacrifice by beating most of the passengers into a lifeboat.

1812 – First cargo arrives in New Orleans by steamboat, from Natchez, Mississippi.

1915 – The United States House of Representatives rejects proposal to give women the right to vote.

1945 – World War II: The Red Army begins the Vistula–Oder Offensive. For Hitler, it’s all over but the shouting and a single bullet. The sad fact is that we’d already cut a deal to let the USSR take Berlin, subjecting half of Germany to four decades of commie rule.

1966 – Lyndon B. “Lyin’ Ba*tard” Johnson states that the United States should stay in South Vietnam until Communist aggression there is ended. He’s as right about this war as he is the “War on Poverty”. There’s nothing like dimmocrat president “fixing things”.

1976 – The United Nations Security Council votes 11–1 to allow the Palestine Liberation Organization to participate in a Security Council debate (without voting rights). The UN should have been tossed out of the US twenty years earlier.

1981 – As global warming takes hold, Chester, Massachusetts records state record low temperature of -35 degrees F (-37 C).

2006 – The foreign ministers of the United Kingdom, France, and Germany declare that negotiations with Iran over its nuclear program have reached a dead end and recommend that Iran be referred to the United Nations Security Council. An official UN Sternly Worded Letter™ soon follows.

2006 – The French warship Clemenceau reaches Egypt and is barred access to the Suez Canal. Greenpeace activists board the ship. France is lucky they didn’t have to surrender to make up for that Rainbow Warrior thing.

2006 – A stampede during the Stoning of the Devil ritual on the last day at the Hajj in Mina, Saudi Arabia, kills at least 362 Muslim pilgrims, a not-unexpected outcome as a seventh-century cult contends with 21st Century crowds.

2010 – An earthquake in Haiti occurs, killing over 100,000 people and destroying much of the capital Port-au-Prince. The Clinton (yes, THOSE Clintons) Foundation raises millions for relief, of which Haiti gets a few thousand while the Clintons get mightily relieved.

2016 – Thirteen people are killed and 15 wounded in a bombing near the Blue Mosque in Istanbul. Twelve were German, One was Peruvian – tourists. Just because YOU don’t think that Islamic extremism is a problem doesn’t mean they’d mind NOT killing you.

532 AD – Nika riots in Constantinople: A quarrel between supporters of different chariot teams—the Blues and the Greens—in the Hippodrome escalates into violence. Same thing happens today after the NBA Finals, and just like then, the solution is to hand out a little government money to quiet things down.

1879 – The British-Zulu War begins. British troops — under Lieutenant General Frederic Augustus — invade Zululand from the southern African republic of Natal. Two names come up: Isandlwana and Rorke’s Drift…

1923 – Troops from France and Belgium occupy the Ruhr area to force Germany to make its reparation payments. Seventeen years later Germany says “Repair THIS!” while marching over the supine carcass of Belgium into Paris.

1941 – Adolf Hitler orders forces to be prepared to enter North Africa to assist the Italian effort, marking the establishment of the Afrika Korps. Italy bites off more than it can chew. Japan does the same thing in the Pacific several months later as does Hitler in invading his erstwhile ally, the USSR.

1946 – Enver Hoxha declares the People’s Republic of Albania with himself as dictator. If it says “People’s Republic”, it ain’t a republic and the only thing the “people” will get is screwed. Just in case you wondered. Under Hoxha’s caring administration, Albania looked more like the Third World than Europe.

1949 – First recorded case of snowfall in Los Angeles, California. It’s that global warming, for sure…

1964 – United States Surgeon General Dr. Luther Leonidas Terry, M.D., publishes a report saying that smoking may be hazardous to health. It is the first such statement ever made by the U.S. government. Bloody Hell! Parents and coaches were telling kids that cigarettes would stunt your growth and kill your wind for decades before this.

1980 – Honda announces it will build the first Japanese-owned passenger-car assembly plant in the United States–in Ohio. Japan says it can make money in the Big Three’s back yard.

2003 – Illinois Governor George Ryan commutes the death sentences of 167 prisoners on Illinois’s death row based on the Jon Burge scandal because the state has plenty of money to provide room and board for this puddle of scum.