Since I'm now a mom (and have been for nearly 6 weeks, I might add), I figure it's time that I grace the parenting world with my vast knowledge. Because I, as a mom, *love* getting unsolicited parenting advice because it is so seldom helpful enlightening.
In the past 6 weeks, I have discovered the key to motherhood and parenthood. And it has changed my life. In just 72 hours, my patented state-of-the-art parenting skills can be yours, too, for just 12 monthly installments of $79.95 plus $16.50 for shipping and handling.
Just kidding -- I'll share my parenting skills for free. [I do, however, accept donations via PayPal, check, or money order. Or in the form of chocolate-dipped gummy bears. Find them at
Winco (now in Utah!)]
But, on to the matter at hand. The key to surviving the first 6 weeks is ... (drumroll please) ... (are you ready for this?)...
patience!
That's right. You heard it here first. Parenting (the successful kind, where the children survive mostly scar- and trauma-free to adulthood) = P + A + T + I + E + N + C + E.
Allow me to illustrate.
Parasite! This description, given by my dear sister (mother of 4) to describe children under 2 months of age could not be truer.
par-a-site (per uh sit) -- noun -- an organism that lives on or in an organism of another species, known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.
You doubt? You think, "How can she say that about such an adorable specimen?" I present a single act as evidence: breastfeeding. I rest my case.
My cute little parasite, fresh from his first bath.
Awesome help = necessity. Let's face it. Especially if you're like me and like doing things on your own, in your own way, on your own time, having people around to "help" isn't what you dream of. But it's so nice. Thanks for all your help --
Grandma and Grandpa Waddoups,
Grandma Shelly,
Grandpa Paul,
Auntie Leslee,
Aunt Dug,
and (listed last but certainly not least!) Aunt Sarah.
Try that unsolicited advice. As unwanted and unnecessary as it may be, some of that advice is worth it. (Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.)
Snippets I've chosen to ignore:
- Don't put shoes on your baby because it will ruin his feet. He'll never walk properly.
- Pacifiers ruin breastfeeding and cause "nipple confusion."
- Eat healthy foods. (Hey, I didn't say you had to make my same decisions.)
One snippet I will swear by until the day I die: Sleep when the baby sleeps. (As I type this at 1:12 am when my baby has been asleep for 2 hours...) This is why so often little Paul and I have started out our day like this:
(Thanks to my darling husband for this glamour shot.)
I am only one parent. I can only do what I can do, and I need to ch-ill and let daddy shine in his daddy-ness. As the mommy, I sometimes forget that daddy is so good at doing daddy things, like changing diapers (which Mark is remarkable at and does all the time, but never once have I thought to myself at that time, "Hey, Kodak moment!"),
snuggling a baby boy who loves to be snuggled,
giving baths,
and just being a dad who is proud of his son.
Eventually, I'll have my body back. I just have to keep telling myself that so I can believe it. :) In the meantime,
this cute little face will remind me that the extra mass is worth it. <3
Nothing lasts forever (other the families and that other, you know, eternal stuff). I often think this to myself while my dear son is purply screaming from a gas bubble. If only he knew (and I was better at remembering) that
this
can so quickly transform right back to this.
Children begin by loving their parents. (Get the rest of the quote, which completely disproves what I'm going for here and thus has been omitted.) I figure, they come to us perfect so we don't have to make them perfect -- we just have to keep from messing them up beyond repair.
Enjoy!! I love my baby boy. More "real" stuff about our "lives" soon. :)
