I did a curious thing upon waking at noon or so today, and that thing was this: I read through all (okay, most) of my LiveJournal entries, from 2001 up until about 2008 (I think real daily posting had started dropping off a year or two before that).

I had forgotten how vital an organ LiveJournal was for me in the weird time in my life when I was leaving Connecticut, starting at Ohio State, and the adventures that arose through that. I was posting basically daily- and often many times in a day. And many, MANY of these posts are far beyond the character limit of a Facebook update- let alone a Tweet. LiveJournal was THE communication tool, in that enchanted summer before I left for Ohio State and was romping around New London, and Waterford, and New York City. We were the LiveJournal generation, and how many of us have left for Facebook, Twitter, or even more revolutionary technologies (like getting offline)?

Strange how many people come and go through our lives in such short time spans. I have to admit I saw names in comments of people I have to assume, from context, were close friends that, now, as a deleted handle or long-forgotten userpic, don't even trigger memories. Who were you? Who was I?

(insert here an almost 24-hour gap between starting this entry yesterday and finishing it this evening)

Ah...

What a strange day today was. I'm doing work in data entry now (again)- as I was when I started this journal- and as I sat there today, typing away mindlessly with some Steeleye Span blasting into my ears, I was feeling rather melancholy-nostalgic from taking in my own old words and rediscovering all these people and events that once were an integral part of my daily life. Mega-doses of myself, and all these memories that for the most part were tucked away very deep in the brain-basement or else jumbled into a very mythical chronology in my head. I spent a good part of my day today trying to piece together when and where and why certain people, places, and things happened/existed over the years, because what I read yesterday made a quick hash of how I remember lots of my personal history. And in its own way, it was fun, too.

There are certainly some scars buried in here, though. I sure laid m'self some memory-traps, strains and pains and losses best dulled by time now taken out and polished by reading the narrative I conceptualized it all in.

For all my Preachin' of the Good Word o' Happy back in the day, I sure posted as much woe as weal. And, really, of course I did- that's what having a LiveJournal and being a young 20-something is all the fuck ABOUT!

But they were the Good Ol' Days. We were young and crazy in love and we had nary a care and we went where we wanted when we wanted and we did what we wanted to do, which of course was mostly go to anime conventions and drink amounts of liquor that I could swear to you, if it were not recorded herein, I would never have been able to consume. (Go liver! Glad we got over that, huh!) That is not to preclude that these, too, will be Good Ol' Days, but its certainly not the same. It can't be- now it's Now (again).

I spent a lot of today "missing" those Good Ol' Days but that's ridiculous- straight-up nonsense. What a waste of the day! Granted, I had not much better to do than sit and ponder while I worked, and I was in a nostalgic frame of mind, so perhaps there was no avoiding it today. But what a way to waste the time you have Now- by thinking of the time you already had. Can't git it back, and those times made you who you are up to this point, so that "stuff" is all still there, anyways. So, buck up, dammit! (I'm looking at YOU, me.)

-><-

Still, it would be fun- for a few minutes- to invite EVERYONE I EVER KNEW to one big party.

-><-

Ah, but there's a piece of it, ain't it! Because always this journal was a place for me to have my Ideas, like throwing Huge Parties for Everyone and Celebration Devivals and Learnin' Instruments and Startin' Bands and Runnin' Off and Writin' and all those other things I'm still, eight or nine or ten years later, telling everyone I'm going to do, and everyone just says, "well, when?" Hmmmmm...

-><-

Don't forget the motto around here, folks, I Love You All!

I think the saddest thing about LiveJournal these days is I can leave my Friends Page up for 24 hours, refresh it, and only have two new posts to read. Really? Ah, for the days when we were all on fire. Now the very concept of LiveJournal is encompassed in that Sigil of the Times, TL;DR.

-><-

But maybe I'll try to stick around, see what we can get cookin' 'round here. Cuz I'm gettin' a little past the character limits in the communkayshun channels of the day...

(But then, maybe I'll see you all again in three years, or six, or nineteen, or never again. You never can tell.)

So I just did something, and it was this: I deleted all the re-tweets that were posted to my LJ for years. It was tedious, but it had to be done. I'm sorry I let that replace actual content on here for so long. Even no content is better than content you can easily find elsewhere if'n a body gets a notion to, eh?

I'm not going to do something silly like promise- or even suggest- that I'm making some Grand LiveJournal Return or anything. I need less internet in my life, not more, but I do miss all you dear people who are only on LiveJournal and have not yet moved on to the perfect glories of Facebook and Twitter. Oh well, I love you all, etc.

YES, AND,

I've been writing lately. A little here, a little there. Well, basically an hour or three every day, give or take a day or two or three. A man's gotta take a break and do nothing some days, right?

Okay. I really don't know how to write updates that are longer than 140 characters anymore. See? I'm TOO EVOLVED FOR LIVEJOURNAL.

Ho ho

• 11:44 A week ago I was waking up in Marina Del Rey. I am full of wist. #

Got at ya with LoudTwitter

If'n you got some time, I invite you to check out the first post on my new D&D blog, Editions & Dragons.

http://editionsndragons.blogspot.com/

Comments welcome- preferably over there, to make it look like I have some readers, but here works too. What!

For some reason, I never really appreciated seasons when I lived in Connecticut. They came and went, but none of them were so horrible as to alter my day-to-day functioning as a Matthew. Winter was cold, summer was humid, but never so much that I'd have to change my wardrobe.

Ohio is very, very different. It has taken me years to put my finger on it, but winter here just absolutely slays me. Every year. The piss of it, really, is that I really love winter. Even Ohio winter! I love how much snow there is (or the potential for it, at any rate). I even kind of love the fact that I can check the weather and find out it's -13 degrees with wind chill. But it's miserable in its own way, completely dead and deadening, like an amorphous lead blanket over the face.

I'm hoping that realizing that wicked winters just sort of make me a miserable bastard for three months will help alleviate said reaction, because every other season in Ohio is perfect. The locals bitch about humidity, but not me (usually). And spring and fall are just perfect.

I think maybe I had somewhere to go with all that, but perhaps I didn't. At any rate:

At the beginning of winter I found out I had not received a Stegner Fellowship at Stanford. This was kind of a bummer but I had never really psyched myself too far up about it. Then...

I spent a good portion of this winter unemployed. It was Not Fun, mostly when what can only jokingly be called my savings were depleted. Never before have I had hard luck finding employment, and after two weeks it stopped being Kind Of Funny How No One is Calling Back. After a few dead-end interviews I was feeling like I'd lost my entire stride, that what little motivation I had tricked myself into having employment at all (I am, fundamentally, a fatally lazy person) was drying up like jerky.

Then one of the best things ever happened, and I became employed at Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams, a little Columbus chain of organic, quirky, and absolutely awesome ice cream shops. I was always a fan of Jeni's ice creams, and working there has been a dream.

Around the time I was hired, I also discovered that I had won a little essay contest I had completely forgotten entering in the first place. I won second prize, $500, but I'm still waiting for the check, which was supposedly sent out last week. When (if?) it comes in, it'll do some good towards cleaning up some of the financial mess a month and an half of unemployment left behind.

And now, SPRING! Soon, summer. It's already been blessed to the highest degree. mazui, leechan, and I have been doing a lot of cooking out in our quaint little back yard, eating dinner outside. Our fence is high and the back alley is fairly quiet, and on the best evenings the birds' songs and good weather can let me forget- just for a second- that I'm in the middle of the city.

I really am a country boy at heart.

Speaking of country, I've already been suffering through a scaled-back festival season. With only one festival on the horizon (barring sudden and surprising financial success), I'm kind of bummed, but also looking forward to making the most out of what I'm going to get. And who knows, there's always the tail end of summer, which would make for great camping in its own way.

The brain has been buzzing a lot lately. There's some things in there, have been for a long time, that are beating on the inside of my skull to get out. There are horrible emotional stains on my personality that are causing a fit of it, though, and I basically just need to Get the Fuck Over Myself and just do what needs to be done.

So, let's hope and all that!

Okay, that's me. I may post again soon or I may never post again! But I still read LJ every day, though I only occasionally go on commenting sprees. I sometimes forget not everything is on Facebook, which I love a little more every time they update (yes, I'm one of the few).

(I thought this was going to be a Celebrationist rant about extradimensional entities and psychic warfare, but somehow it got all serious. Horrible, a mistake and a disgrace. Maybe I WILL have to post again soon. Something from the Home Office.)




Alright- and how are all y'all?

KILL YOUR TELEVISION.

(So you can have more time for IM, TXTing, Twittering, Faceboooking, MySpaceing, Googling, Wikipeding, MMORPGing, FARKing, and E-Mailing.)



















(Speaking of television, HOLY FUCK LOST!)

Ha!

I've just submitted my application for the Wallace Stegner Fellowship. Basically down to the wire, with only a few more hours before the deadline for the year.

Now I wait until April. And if I don't get in this year, all the more reason to try harder next year.

I'm already done applying. Why am I only now getting the shakes?

James Garner and Mel Gibson are the original Mavericks. End of debate!