bigjohn

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” .. Bette Davis

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 60 years of happy marriage.

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Archive for August 25th, 2006

Not exactly “Vorsprung durch Technik”.

Posted by Big John on August 25, 2006

It comes from Germany and is built like a ‘Panzer’. It speaks eight languages and you need to be a ‘Luftwaffe’ pilot to understand the controls.
What is it ?
It’s our new… ‘high tech’…’state of the art’… ‘environmentally friendly… ‘all singing and dancing’…  very expensive…

……..  Washing machine !
wash-miele.jpgOK, so we half read the instruction manual and decided on a ‘test run’.
Step One…. Switch on the machine… It ‘welcomes’ us… How nice.
Step Two… Press the ‘door open’ button… We hear a ‘click’.
Step Three… Pull the door open… Nothing !… It will not budge.
We pull at it…It will not move.
We return to step one and try again… Still nothing happens.
We repeat the procedure several times.
“We never had this problem with our old machine” I hear over my shoulder.
Old Machine ??…. Hinged on the left ! Pull on the right !
Could the new machine be the opposite ?….. I touch the left hand side of the door…..It gently swings open……

…….How bloody stupid can you get ? 

Posted in humour, rant | 5 Comments »

 
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