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Souma of the Food Odyssey 5

Souma is the most badass generic shounen protagonist of all time. His name really fits his stoned nature because souma sounds like soma sounds like somn- and that’s what somnifacient somnolent somnambulists do—sleep, drugs, and smoke weed every day.

seriously in every single frame he is stoned like in Brave New Soma. ten bucks says he doesn’t even know how to cook—he’s doing it all in his sleep. AND HE NEVER WOKE UP

This is how you make a protagonist. He’s not ordinary at all. Nobody can relate to his experiences. But his lower-class background appeals to everybody, and instead of being some untouchable moral model on a pedestal he’s arrogant as hell. WHICH MAKES HIM BADASS.

He’ll probably outgrow his hubris as he goes on ~an odyssey~ of food akin to Toriko’s adventures i-no

uwaan uwaaan ruuuu

P.S. his catchphrase translation makes it really lame. no scratch that the entire translation is really lame. but that only makes the story funnier—it wasn’t much!

Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion 16

The timeline is still really strange in Steins;Gate. How can Rintarou get the IBN5100 if he’s already met Suzuha? Think about it:

Iimeline 1:
1975: nothing happens
2010a: Rintarou doesn’t have the IBN5100
2010b: nothing happens
2012: SERN takes over world
2038: Suzuha goes to 2010b, creating Timeline 2
20XX: world at peace

Timeline 2:
1975: nothing happens
2010a: Rintarou doesn’t have the IBN5100
2010b: Suzuha goes to 1975, creating Timeline 3
2012: SERN takes over world
2038: Suzuha goes to 2010b, creating Timeline 4 (which is the same as Timeline 2)

Timeline 3:
1975: Suzuha gets the IBN5100
2010a: Rintarou has the IBN5100
2010b: nothing happens
2012: nothing happens
2038: nothing happens
20XX: world is free

The key point is that when Suzuha goes back to the past in 2010b and in 2038, her two travels make two different timelines. The line that would lead to their success is created when she travels back to 1975. There’s no reason why her travel back to 2010b takes her to the same timeline. Then again, a story about Timeline 3 would be as boring as watching paint grow on a grassy wall, so it’s forgiven.

mudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamuda

P.S. What is Reading Steiner? If anybody stuck their memories in the time machine, they would be able to retain their memories through world lines—because it’s not their bodies travelling through time, it’s the information. If, say, Mayuri used the time machine to implant Rintarou’s future memories into herself, she’d not only travel through time, but would inherit a different identity! That would’ve been an interesting device for, say, Kokoro Connect…

Souma of the Asian Halberd 4

Ah, competition. It’s funny because this school really isn’t about learning—just like universities. If people didn’t need degrees to get a good job, would any non-academics go to university? It’s all about the prestige of graduating—and the fewer people who graduate from your institute there are, the more prestigious their status becomes.

also it’s the only way to write a shounen manga so

-uma»

Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion 15

The greatest part of Steins;Gate was its climax, when Rintarou did all sorts of crazy shit and it all connected back to the beginning like some bizarre circular argument typical of time-bending tales.

The greatest part of Boukan no Rebellion is its climax, when Daru did all sorts of crazy shit and it all connected back to… things.

What I’m going at is, Boukan no Rebellion focuses on Suzuha and so her most emotional moment was finding her father. Mayuri’s train of logic was executed well and there was no dearth of cheesy/teary goodbyes, so I guess it was a good scene.

That is, IF THE ART WEREN’T SO *~QUALITY~*

HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU HASHIDA ITARU

Goblin Christmas

Goblin Christmas is the wonderful time of the year when a vile force of darkness arrives. All the good little dwarves stay underground while Goblin Claus leaves his treats in the trap-lined entrance to the fortress.

In the morning, when the all-clear is sounded, everyone rushes to the entryway, and gathers up the Goblinite for melting and the silk socks for decorating the magma fireplace.”

It would’ve been such a merry day…

…if I had raised the upper fortress bridge in time.

This nurse actually killed a goblin crossbowman when none of my regulars did, though...

Three words: too much eggnog»

12 Days of Anime – Day 12: C’était un Rendezvous de Mort

Natsuyuki Rendezvous Episode 11

Natsuyuki Rendezvous is, for me, the best show of the year. I’m fairly certain that I’m alone in this opinion, but I hope I’m not alone in thinking that the show was good. Natsuyuki explores the later stages of grieving by showing a woman, Rokka, through the eyes of both her departed husband and her new lover. It is a beautiful, well executed story. Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 11: Confession of the Year

You're the one I like...

Kids on the Slope, or Sakamichi no Apollon, was a very good show that missed its opportunity to be a truly great show. Muddling middle and odd ending aside, the show had some excellent moments. In particular, I was incredibly impressed with Kaoru’s confession in the third episode. For me, it stands out as the best of the year, even if – or perhaps, due to how – Ritsuko didn’t reciprocate. Here’s how I described it at the time:

Kaoru plays Someday My Prince Will Come by Bill Evans for Ritsuko. She thinks the song is for another girl, but he tells her it is for her; she is the one he likes. It’s immediately obvious that Ritsuko is unprepared for this and can’t return his feelings. The situation hangs between happiness and sadness. There is both unspoken grieving and relief on Kaoru’s part. The tension in the scene switches from intimacy to awkwardness. Then the scene ends.

So it was. This scene was handled deftly and with tact. Certainly one of the best moments of the year.

12 Days of Anime – Day 10: Dat Toothbrush

brushingteethinundies

Nisemonogatari skirts the line between enjoyment and revulsion. The show was incredibly sexual considering the most common interactions are between siblings, and the rest are mostly between minors. Of course, the defining moment of the series comes in Episode 8. Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 9: Hair Over Drool

Barbershop 2: Back in Business

Mysterious Girlfriend X was a very… interesting series. Sure, it was a little trashy. It had a great nostalgic feel to it, though. Some things it nailed, like the awkwardness of teenage romance. Other things were less successful, like the whole shtick about Urabe stripping naked at school only to have Tsubaki see her. The one thing the show constantly nailed was focusing on various fetishes as a means of fanservice. Episode 9 was about hair, and it was good.

12 Days of Anime – Day 8: NTR in the Summer

AnoNatsu Blocked-1

Kanna, from Ano Natsu de Matteru was a strong and loving childhood friend. Unfortunately, the heart she thought was hers for the taking is swooped away when a buxom alien moves in with her crush, Kaito. The scene pictured is about as close as Kanna ever comes to achieving her goal of a romantic relationship with Kaito. Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 7: The Chuunibyou Blues

I wish I could unsee Horizon.

Somewhere

between Heaven

and the Unseen Horizon,

is the sacred mathematics of Chance.

The calculated risk

And the wind, whipping ya in the eyes,

and the sharp, metallic taste

of life

and death.
Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 5: Rape Me, My Friend

Image

There’s been a lot of rape in anime this year, especially in the fall season. It seems, though I’m too lazy to verify, that half of the currently airing shows feature rape in some way. The most notorious of these is the casual rape threats and references in Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun. Other shows this season have run the gamut from insinuations to overt depictions of rape. If we can learn one thing from this, it’s that anime doesn’t know a lot about how to approach the topic of rape. Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 4: Rage

I don’t like piracy. I never have. That certainly applies more to games than anime, but even with anime, I never download to my hard drive. I feel if I limit my access to anime I haven’t paid for (and with my network, limit is very apt) then at least I won’t be too far off from the people viewing it across the ocean on TV. Since joining the blogosphere last year, though, I took this to the next step and actually started buying anime DVDs. The second one I bought was the complete set of what is probably my favorite anime of all time, Kino no Tabi. I was really excited to finally get DVD quality and own this work that had been so formative for me. That was when it happened. I saw unfolding before my eyes what may have been (and may still be) the worst licensing job known to anime.

Cold Rage Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 3: Symphogear Walking

derp derp derp

The quality of animation in this scene speaks for itself.

12 Days of Anime – Day 2: Mouretsu Pirates Episode 12

I picked this one for two reasons. The first is Troll of the Year. The second is favoring diplomacy even at the cost of entertainment value. I loved this episode because it demonstrates how Bodacious Space Pirates had the guts to do something few shows purposefully try: it was boring.

Image Read the rest of this page »

12 Days of Anime – Day 1: That First Yuru Yuri ♪♪

Hey kids! It’s that time of the year again! Time for the 12 Days of Christmas. This is a magical time of year where the aniblogosphere egotistically reflects back on itself  under the auspice of holiday cheer. Here at O-New we might post 12 times in 12 days, or maybe this is the beginning and the end. So spike your egg nog, sit back, and refresh the homepage every day!

I love Yuru Yuri. I hate Yuru Yuri. The show is so completely inconsistent. Sometimes it’s hilarious, other times boring. It can be heartwarming one moment, and patently offensive the next. Mostly, I like the characters in the show but consider the writing to be spotty. I love Akarin, though.

yuruyuri_s2_01_akarin_toot_toot Read the rest of this page »

Souma of the LEBEIAN Halberd 3

The fanservice is pretty creative, but Koizumi’s epic mahjong hands are more grandiose and less metaphorical. Really, all you get with Souma’s metaphors is the taster’s feelings, whereas Koizumi’s metaphors are anything he wants. Siberian bullet trains. American freedom bombings. WWII operation re-enactments. The pope, being tempted by a metaphor of ADOLF HITLER AS THE DEVIL INCARNATE.

Nevertheless, Souma’s food explanations are better, namely because Koizumi has dogs to do with food. Better than Toriko’s, though, cause the food is actually real. Reminds me of Addicted to Curry’s actual curry recipes; I guess the writer has to be an actual good chef. Maybe he went to chefing school or something to learn how to chef, or maybe he chefs a chief chefing consultant to chef that everychef’s alchef.

breaking news: scanlators fail grammar

I hope not everybody in the academy’s as spoiled as Nikaidou, though I also hope he reappears if only to randomly shout ‘LEBEIAN’ at important intersections. goddamn lebeians and their UNNATURAL behaviour. they should practice lebeiancy in private, not in the eyes and ears of innocent schoolechildrian. i don’t know what i’m saying but mitt romney opposes homo milk and I drink homo milk every single day

P.S. Erina is mean. tasukete erina

O Hero, Where Art Thou Now?: Odysseus in a Modern Context

[We read the Odyssey in English class, and had to write a variety of assignments (ok, fine, just two) on it. One of these assignments was a comparative essay, in which students could choose their thesis, yet on the criteria sheet, ‘all students must use the same thesis’. The thesis in question was that an old Coen Brothers’ comedy (O Brother, Where Art Thou?), loosely based on the Odyssey, represents Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.

I thought the Hero’s Journey was just some old man saying that all cultures’ hero stories had a beginning, a middle, and an end. He also claimed that these stories reflected humanity’s ‘collective unconscious’, and that people like to hear stories with beginnings, middles, and ends. Although it seems obvious to us, it is pretty coincidental and influential in studying comparative mythology and evolutionary psychology. Yet, I thought that the Hero’s Journey structure offered no insights into modern ‘heroes’ journeys’.

This jaded me immensely, and like the contrarian hipster I am, I decided to advocate for the Devil. The result is below; formatted, but unedited. If it seems to jump around in places, it’s because I condensed it to one page of 1000 words, ‘for the lulz’. I like it, but I still haven’t gotten my grade back, and I have the feeling that my English teacher won’t like people casting the Hero’s Journey aside…]

In the 1988 PBS documentary The Power of Myth, mythologist Joseph Campbell talks of his theory: a universally archetypal Hero’s Journey originating from the fundamental human psyche. The Hero’s Journey’s plot points, although useful for comparative mythology, are too generic. To differentiate Heroes’ Journeys from regular Journeys, Heroes’ Journeys must star a hero with heroic traits, deeds, and growth.

Ancient poet Homer’s Odyssey is about protagonist Odysseus’s voyage home from the Trojan War. Although contemporary Greeks heroized Odysseus, in a modern/Roman context, he possesses few heroic requirements. The Coen Brothers’ modern film O Brother, Where Art Thou?’s protagonist Ulysses represents Odysseus, and also lacks these requirements.

Neither O Brother, Where Art Thou?, nor its hypotext, the Odyssey, represent the Hero’s Journey.

Click on this hyper-text to read on»

The Second Coming

On December 21st, 2012, the 13th Mayan Long Count b’ak’tun will end, exactly 1,872,000 days after the creation of the world on August 11th, 3114 BCE. It is the end of an old cycle, and the start of a new. Five b’ak’tuns before, Jesus Christ ascended to heaven.

What does this mean? The end of the world is not the end: it is the beginning.

The eve before Southern solstice, the NASDAQ Stock Market and the New York, London, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Toronto, Bombay, and Taiwan Stock Exchanges will simultaneously collapse as over 50% of investors scramble to exit the market in time for armageddon. The day will pass; nothing will happen, but the world will plunge into economic chaos, creating a global, decades-long depression greater than the Great one.

Amidst this chaos, a son will be born. And his name shall be Wonderful Counsellor, because he will become the world’s most prominent stock broker by trade. However, a Chinese communist propaganda minister will cross paths with him and indoctrinate him with purifying baptization into the glorious mother country or something. I don’t care if baptization isn’t a word and that you can’t baptize someone into a glorious mother country shut up

A rich mafia gangster will bribe the young… guy (no, his name isn’t actually ‘Wonderful Counsellor’) with wealth beyond his imagination; however, he will resist temptation because he’s communist and what’s money?

Then he’ll go around places and make people communist because capitalism killed the world. However, the politicians won’t believe a word he’ll say, and will soon enough inflict calvary incarnate upon his poor commie body. Then he’ll be like ‘hey I’m actually jesus reincarnated’, but nobody will believe him because Matthew 24:36.

THEN THE SKY WILL RIP OPEN AND GOD WILL BE LIKE ‘hey yo guys that’s Jesus ok’ and some people will be communist and eventually take over the entire world. Unfortunately, five b’ak’tuns later, people stop caring about economic beliefs in the new era of SCIENCE and vow to separate state from school. or something this sounded better at the dinner table