Diary of a Grocery Trip, Part 2

Steel yourself.

It's time.

The grocery store beckons, once again.

It's been at least six months since your last large (i.e., humongous) grocery store trip.

You read that right: Six months.

You've been primarily shopping at a wholesale club, and here is a big reason why:

How many child seats do you see?

TWO. Blessed two.

And with working seat belts.

When you have had to make a run to the local market, you have kept the list short--t0 the point--essentials only--running in and out--when the twins are at a friend's house--when the girls are at piano--when the girls are with you and can play peekaboo with the twins in the store--when (generally absent) husband is home with the kids.

It was so easy, those mini trips.

But now it is time. Your list has grown long and unwieldy as you have procrastinated the inevitable huge trip. And it's time to tackle the list, and the store, and all that comes with it.

You plan carefully, organizing the list by section of the store. Produce, baking aisle, meat, dairy. You equip the diaper bag with essentials, as always.

And then you deliberate over which store to use. A store with two-seater carts is an absolute must, and the options are slim.

Store #1: Carts for kids to push and a plethora of carts with two seats and steering wheels for the duo. But waayy too pricey.

Store #2: Carts for kids to push and two carts with two seats and steering wheels for the duo. But poor produce selection.

Store #3: No carts for kids to push, but a number of carts with two seats, and some even with the cab in front for four-year-old. Good selection, fair price.

Out the door the brood and you go to Store #3.

As you approach the store, your twins toddle along beside you, gripping your hands. Your four-year-old holds on to his Chex Mix and your diaper bag, which is hanging over your shoulder.

At the entrance of the store, you discover the total absence of two-seater carts, or carts with a cab in front. You ask a nearby employee, who tells you to "look in the parking lot."

Thanks.

Back out the door you go, twins still clutching your hands, as you spot a twin-friendly cart at the far end of the lot.

A few minutes later, after a hike across the lot, Madeline and Isaac are now loaded into their red double-seater cart, complete with steering wheels. They are delighted.

You note, however, the shredded absence of a working seat buckle.

With that, you realize that your humongous grocery trip will also become an exercise in speed-of-light shopping.

Within three minutes of entering the store, the twins are both standing up on top of the seat. Isaac reaches over and pulls an artichoke off the shelf and hands it to Madeline, who yanks off a single leaf and stares at it curiously. You quickly retrieve the artichoke and put it back on the shelf.

Next Madeline reaches for a zucchini, which she proudly hands to you.

You then move the cart to the center of the aisle, where the twins cannot reach a thing.

Soon after, while you are shucking ears of corn, Sweet Old Lady #1 asks the ages of the twins.

"Eighteen months," you reply.

She smiles and begins telling you about her great-grandson, age 5, who just started kindergarten.

You politely smile and comment while gradually easing over to the row of apples.

As you load a bag of apples into the cart, Isaac chucks his left sandal into the bin of Granny Smiths.

"No, Isaac," you say firmly, as you put his shoe back on.

He smiles his most charming smile and jabbers back at you.

Madeline, meanwhile, has spotted the sippy cup in your bag and is demanding it. Loudly.

Thirty seconds later, while you are staring at lettuce, Isaac throws his left sandal onto the floor.

"No, Isaac," you say firmly, as you put his shoe in your diaper bag.

Now Madeline stands up in the cart, turns around to face you, and--grinning broadly--throws her sippy cup across the floor. It rolls under the potato stand, where you have to crouch down head-to-floor to retrieve it.

Produce Employee grins widely as he watches the scene.

"No, Madeline," you say firmly, putting her sippy cup in the diaper bag.

Aisle after aisle, with the cart always in perfect center aisle where nothing can be reached, the twins stand up and sit down in the cart. Occasionally they climb over each other to trade places. Isaac pulls Madeline's hair. Madeline wails. Madeline steals Isaac's sippy cup and pulls on his shirt. Isaac wails.

"No Madeline. No Isaac." Over and over and over again.

Repeatedly, you tell them to sit down. Once in a while they actually do it.

As you are bending their little torsos to sit them down, Sweet Old Lady #2 walks by and kindly says, "Maybe you should buckle them." You show her the two short, frayed ends of a formerly-working seat buckle.

In the meat department at the back of the store, Nathan--who thus far has been perfectly behaved--announces, "I have to go poo poo."

Being the Rocket Mom that you are, you launch the cart, the children, and yourself toward the front of the store before an accident occurs.

On the way to the bathroom, Madeline throws five single Cheez-Its to the floor, leaving a trail in case we get lost. One Cheez-It lands in a bouquet of flowers.

The sign on the bathroom door reads, "No merchandise in the restroom," so the twins and the (highly loaded) cart remain in the hallway and Nathan goes into the restroom by himself. You stand in between the two, holding the restroom door open so you can 1) watch the twins and 2) hear Nathan if he needs anything.

Moments later, a holler from a stall: "MAH-om! I need you to wipe my bum and buckle my pants!"

You hear a few chuckles from other women in the bathroom.

You shove the cart to the door, using it to prop the door open. Then you, Rocket Mom, launch into the bathroom where, in short order, the task is completed, hands are washed, and you are moving on.

In the meantime, the twins have discovered that, with some bending on their part, they can now reach the contents of the basket.

Ten minutes later, you are in the freezer section. Nathan runs up and down the aisle, opening and closing the freezer doors.

"No, Nathan," you say firmly. Thankfully, he obeys.

Sweet Old Lady #3 walks by and, noting the twins' loud and exuberant jabbering, smiles broadly and asks "if your babies always talk this much?"

"This is nothing," you reply with a woeful grin.

In the bread aisle, Madeline is now chewing on a plastic bag (containing mozarella cheese), and Isaac is bending over the cart to retrieve a can of black beans.

Sweet Old Lady #4 approaches and asks if they are twins.

"Yes," you reply.

"They are adorable," she says, as Isaac--clutching the black beans--stands up in the seat again and as Madeline throws the bag of cheese onto the floor.

At the checkout stand, you begin to heave the contents of the (heavily loaded) cart onto the conveyor belt.

You quickly discover that the "center-of-the-aisle" technique doesn't work in the checkout line.

Isaac stands up on top of his seat and reaches out to nab three packs of Mentos.

Madeline, also standing on top of the seat, attempts to climb from the cart onto the conveyor belt.

You cram yourself between the cart and the candy display, pull Isaac down, and replace the Mentos.

You then reach over to Madeline, who is now wailing and stuck in a split-like stance, with one leg in the cart and the opposite foot perched on the conveyor belt.

You continue to heave the cart's contents speedily onto the belt. A little too speedily, perhaps. Your finger pierces the paper of a flour bag, and the contents spill out. Poof.

Meanwhile, Isaac finds more Mentos.

As you lift Isaac out of the cart to hold him, you continue to lob food from the cart onto the belt. You ask the checker if a manager is available, and he arrives in short order.

"Please. Fix. Shopping Cart Buckles," you breathlessly implore. You then pull Madeline out of another split-like stance; she is now straddling the cart and the credit card machine.

The manager takes in the scene, nods seriously and promises to do something immediately, and exits.

You ask the checker if anyone can help you to the car with the cartful of groceries.

No one is available, she replies.

Halfway to the car, you spot another mom pushing a two-seater cart, with one older child safely buckled inside, and a store employee walking alongside to help her empty her half-full cart.

You suppress a tight-lipped surge of frustration.

And then you realize joyfully that the next time you will do a grocery trip of this magnitude, it will be 2010.

And you will bring along straightjackets for the twins.

Utah Trip in Review

Below is a review of our month-long trip to Utah.

I apologize for the ridiculous number of pictures. As always, you don't need to endure them--unless you want to. They're posted for our own personal memories.

And I use the word "delightful" a lot. Sorry.

For the first week of the trip, Emma and Clara participated in a summer camp called "Little House in the Valley," based on the Little House in the Prairie series. They pulled handcarts, made ice cream and corn husk dolls, panned for gold, and had picnics by the river. They even milked a cow. Idyllic, isn't it? Next time I want to go.

The kids loved their triple-decker bunk beds, made--literally--by Grandma. She's amazing.

The twins had yummy breakfasts every morning.

They bonded with extended family.

Nathan loved playing with his cousins.

The cousins went to feed the ducks. There were lots of beheaded fish in the lake. Ick.

Nathan.
Isaac loved feeding the ducks. He jabbered about it the whole time.

Madeline liked to eat all of the duck's bread.

The kids played on the trampoline a whole lot, sometimes with sprinklers going underneath. Nathan is on the far left in his skivvies.

The cousins had a blast in the tub.

Grandma, Nathan, his cousin Andrew, and myself took a "hike" one afternoon.

Nathan proudly led the way up the trail.

He stopped to appreciate the amazing view.

Grandpa took Emma and Clara on a more adventurous and challenging five-mile hike. They were champions and went out for Chinese food afterwards. The girls are still talking about it.

We spent a lot of time with cousins at the park right next to Grandpa and Grandma's house.

Nathan and cousin Andrew.

Isaac.

My girls with cousin Emily.

Nathan.

Clara.

Nathan celebrated his birthday--again--along with Aunt Emarie, who turned 16.

The kids were always hungry--mostly for the treats Grandma had stashed in the pantry.

Did I mention that Nathan loved playing with his cousins?

The twins enjoyed their first official ice cream cones, and I enjoyed sitting on the lush Utah grass. (Easterners: Sprinklers really do amazing things.)

We went to Hogle Zoo. The twins were enamored with the giraffes.

So was Nathan.

At the zoo.

On the train at the zoo. It was extremely hot.

We went camping one night at Bear Lake. Yes, that's right. I took the twins camping. My in-laws were with me, too, and were very helpful--but it's not an experience I'd like to repeat anytime soon.

The kids, however, had a grand time. In fact, when asked, Emma will tell you that her favorite activity of our month in Utah was the camping trip at Bear Lake. We found a quiet little lagoon for the kids to play in. There was no sand, however. Just mud. Lots of it.

Madeline and her diaper from far away.

Madeline and her diaper close up. Note to self: this is why swim diapers were invented. I think it weighed about six pounds when I removed it.

Nathan.

Clara, Emma, and cousin Hannah had an absolute ball. They stayed up until 3 a.m., giggling and talking in their tent.

The "sand," which was simply mud, was nature's greatest toy for their creative minds.

Here are the twins, tucked into their pack-n-plays, inside the tent, ready to go to sleep. It would turn out to be one of the most memorable nights I've had since becoming a mommy of twins. Just Isaac, Madeline, Nathan, and me in the large tent, all by ourselves. I really should do a blog post about it. (Yes, I did take two pack-n-plays camping for one night. I wasn't brave enough to go without them yet--and I'm sure glad I didn't.)

We went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House. It was a great experience for my kids to see the inside of a temple before dedication.

Here, Grandpa pacifies an impatient Isaac with a little stroll.

Nathan and cousin Cecily touch the temple walls.

Outside the temple.

We went to Thanksgiving Point to see the biggest dinosaur museum in the world.

Clara bonded with Aunt Jill.

Isaac liked the shark and tried to climb over the barrier to get a closer look.

I went to a delightful reunion of friends from our Hershey (medical school) years.

And I went to another delightful reunion of friends from our residency years.

I absolutely love the people in the above two pictures. We have history. They each hold a chunk of my heart, and they are lifelong friends.

I had a fun visit with my old neighbor, Dori.

The kids did a second round of swimming lessons. Emma was in the highest level!

Nathan has come a long way with swimming. (No pictures of Clara in her lessons because I couldn't get close enough to her class.)

We went to Lagoon. Emma and Clara and cousin Hannah went with Aunt Emarie to ride some of the older-kid rides. The twins loved the kiddie rides. Here they are driving their little car.

Nathan loved it, too.

The twins continued to love Lagoon...

...until they decided it was too much. Then they didn't love it so much.

In the parking lot at the end of the day.

Three weeks into the trip, with one week left to go, Brian joined us for some vacation time. We were sure thrilled to see him, beard and all, and our welcome present to him was that he got sick with shigella.

Moving on.

Isaac had some golf lessons from Grandpa.

He perfected his swing.

Madeline was his caddy.

Lovely Emma.

Need. More. Ice Cream.

After Isaac polished off his cone, he decided he wanted mine. He was too cute to resist.

We went ice blocking for FHE. Another first for me. It was fun going down, but the climb back up the hill was h-a-r-d!

The twins chased everyone as they slid down the hill.

I chilled with my sister-in-law.

We went to Bear Lake again, this time with the whole extended family (and no camping!), except for Brian and Nathan, who were home sick with shigella.

Emma and Clara loved riding on the water weanie.

Isaac was proud of his life vest.

Madeline, oblivious to her life vest, devoured a significant number of Cheetos that day.

She also chilled in the sand in her tube.

And played in the puddles.

We all enjoyed some time on the jet skis. (Below is Brian's brother's family and Emma.)

Clara was content in the sand.

We had some girl time, floating out on the tubes.

The twins chilled with me.

Madeline and Isaac found a new favorite Bear Lake activity.

They also tried to help themselves to water, but they couldn't quite get it without help. (These little people are just too cute!)

Madeline developed a second skin: SAND.

Isaac was in his element, pouring and scooping water all day long. Occasionally he tried to drink the stuff. (Seriously, water play with cups/buckets is his favorite activity, and he will get water from any source in order to "play.")

My one regret with the pictures of our trip is that I didn't get any of the twins on the boat with Grandma. They took a ride in the boat while I rode the water weanie with some others. And they were absolutely adorable--waving endlessly, smiling, and eventually falling asleep on the boat. But, alas, no pictures were taken--just delightful memories.

At the tail end of our trip, Grandpa took the girls on one more hike.

The men--and Grandma--helped The Bearded Man prepare some delectable chicken for grilling.

Sun-kissed Clara.

Grandma read endlessly to her tow-headed grandchildren. (Those blonde genes are mighty strong.)

The ladies went out to lunch.

The ladies included Emma and Clara, and Clara was delighted by her dessert.

Did I mention that Nathan loved playing with his cousins?

It was a fabulous trip, in spite of the illness we encountered, and it was a much-needed respite for me personally from the challenges of the previous months. The kids had a grand time, and we loved--as always--being with our family.