journaling like it's 2005

I haven't written for a few days but I don't know that I have that much to talk about.
I got a new tattoo on Saturday. Well, we got it started, at least.
This is my first tattoo that's more complex than linework and maybe some simple shading so I was kind of unaware of just how long it would take. When I got there the artist asked what the longest I had sat for a tattoo was (about an hour and a half) and warned me that because of the color and shading, this one would take quite a bit longer, probably about 5-6 hours. Which I really should have guessed but hadn't really thought about.
So anyway, I got through about 2 and a half hours before feeling like I should go home because it was getting dark and I hate being out late in a city I don't know very well.
Here's a picture in its raw, unfinished state (sorry it looks like it was taken with a potato - it's hard to get a picture of the back of your calf and my mirror is filthy) -



I'm very excited about it! I always love getting new tattoos and I've been wanting to do something a little bigger and more complex for a while.
I'm already entertaining thoughts of what I'll get next...

Sunday we got our Christmas tree! Unfortunately I do not have photos for you, maybe tomorrow, it is quite cute.
I'm kind of sad we ended up getting an artificial tree this year; usually we go and cut down our tree but I feel like time just got away from us, plus so many tree farms are getting so expensive lately, we just couldn't do it. But the artificial tree is pretty cute and I will admit, it's really convenient not having to water it or worry about all the needles and the branches are able to hold more weight and we seem to own only the heaviest ornaments for some reason.

On an unrelated note, I have to show off some of my fantastic artwork!
At the library, we've been trying to incorporate more passive programming - so things that people can do that don't require our direct and constant involvement. It's been fairly successful which has been a lot of fun. One of our most recent activities is designing a gingerbread friend and they have all been so exciting to see. Usually it's kids that are participating so those are always interesting and funny but we do get some adults that join in, as well. The staff usually starts it off and then that sometimes helps the patrons kind of get some ideas and inspiration. So here's my lil gingerbread friend -


I know it seems very simple but I have virtually no artistic skill so I was (and still am) quite impressed with myself.

I swear, today feels like the longest day of my life. And it's only 4pm! I'm stuck at work for another 2 hours.
The weather is horrible, at least it isn't absolutely frigid like it was a few days ago, but it's still cold and it's been gloomy and rainy all day.
It's been pretty quiet at the library today. Everyone else is staying home, I guess. Can't say I blame them. I wish I could hibernate.
Every November I feel such a strong urge to hibernate. I fully believe that if I could take off work for a few months and had nowhere to be, I could just eat a shit-ton and sleep for a few weeks, at least.
I've been trying to read to pass the time but I can't even focus. I just need a nap.
_{z z z . . .}

How was everyone's weekend??

I went and saw the new A24 movie, Y2K. I wasn't really planning on it but I got a free ticket and I love going to the movies so I figured why not? The free ticket is kind of a story - I recently bought the X and Pearl movie novelizations and ended up buying the A24 membership just because it gave me a discount. And I was just gonna cancel before the renewal but I was tempted by some of the membership stuff - namely the zines they send out quarterly. But then I got an email that members will be able to go see all new A24 movies opening weekend and I thought to myself, this membership may just pay for itself!
So that's how I got a free movie ticket this weekend and also I guess I'm keeping this membership now!
And the movie was good!
...well maybe "good" isn't quite the right word. I thought it was a lot of fun, though! I'm personally a little obsessed with the y2k craze so it was right up my alley. And it had some good moments from creepy to sweet to shocking. It was a little corny, for sure, but I think it'll definitely have a certain audience.

Yesterday I went to Longwood Gardens which was lovely. I wrote more about it (and posted some pictures) in my last post.

Oh and I had my staff Christmas dinner last Friday. We went to a great sushi place nearby and it was nice to just hang out with everyone and talk and really get to know each other. Pretty much everyone is new so that was really needed, I think. I am so thankful that we have such a great team and I'm hopeful it can last as long as possible.

I can't believe Christmas is in just over two weeks. Where has the time gone? Is this what it is to get older? To constantly feel like time is flying by ever faster? I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

-my coworkers and I are all going out for dinner tonight, paid for by the friends of the library
-Calvin and I are going to Longwood Gardens with his grandmas. We've always wanted to go and this will be our first time. Apparently they have a whole holiday display so that should be nice!
-we're going to cut down our Christmas tree which we do every year
-we're going to our pregnancy loss support group which is probably an unusual thing to look forward to but it's comforting to be able to socialize with other people that understand where you're at
-I'm getting a new tattoo next week
-Calvin and I are getting a much-needed couple's massage
-I'm leading a silent book club at work which I always look forward to
-We're going to my parents' friends' Christmas party which is always crazy and a lot of fun
-I have a long weekend for Christmas and I'm excited to rest and see my family

Are you a one book at a time kind of person or are you, like me, always in the middle of like 10 different books?
I work in a library so of course I always have too many books checked out.
My Storygraph says I'm currently reading 49 books (50 would be ridiculous, of course, but 49 is a totally normal amount!!) But lately I've been focused on just a handful.
My husband and I have been reading The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins together and it is buckwild! I'm a little over halfway into it and it's gone so off the rails I truly couldn't even begin to guess how it'll end. I'm really enjoying it...well maybe "enjoying it" isn't quite accurate since I feel like it's putting me through the emotional wringer but, it's quite good!
It's been really fun reading with him. I was complaining to him that I want to join a book club or make more friends with people that read because it's fun to talk about books but I feel like I don't really have any friends to talk to about what I'm reading. He's never been much of a reader but he just kinda volunteered to start a little book club, just the two of us. He's been listening to audiobooks and that's been helpful for him since he has a hard time focusing on regular books.
This is the second book we've started reading together, our last one was Foster Dade Explores the Cosmos by Nash Jenkins and my feelings on that are a little more complicated. I really wanted to like it, and at times I really did. But I came out of it just kind of drained and I just didn't really love it like I thought I was going to. I couldn't put my finger on what it was that wasn't working for me until I saw a review that talked about how the characters in the book - all rich, white teens at an elite New England boarding school - never really just had fun. They were all so tortured and like, yeah, I get that, but they're also teens and they never really had moments where they felt like they were just kids having fun.
(Foster Dade was my pick, Mount Char was his, so I think the lesson is that he may have better taste than me...)
I've also been a little obsessed with Monster High lately. Honestly the obsession kinda came out of nowhere. I was never really into them as a kid - I think they first came out when I was little too old for them and I wasn't really a doll kid anyway. (I was an only child and I just felt like I was talking to myself when I tried to play with dolls. Maybe I just don't have a very good imagination.)
But I have truly grown obsessed in the last like year or so! I just love the style and fashion and, even though I wasn't a fan as a kid, they still feel quite nostalgic to me as well.
So I've started reading the new comic series that's coming out and I realized that there's a book that happened before the canon of the comics so I just started that, too. There's also a book series that came out in like 2011 that I'm reading too and that one is sooo nostalgic. I mean, I literally graduated high school in 2011!
A few other things I would say I'm currently reading:
I'm reading Ink Blood Sister Scribe by Emma Torzs with my mom. I don't feel like I'm far enough into it to have a firm opinion, but it's pretty good so far. It took me a bit to get into it.
I'm almost done with Flesh & Blood by N. West Moss which is a memoir about the author's medically necessary hysterectomy and her reckoning with infertility, grief, and legacy. While it's not very similar to my own situation, I am finding a lot of relatable emotion and Moss' writing is just so lovely.
And I'm also almost halfway through The Lake of Dead Languages by Carol Goodman. This is my second book by her (my first was Arcadia Falls) and I think she'll become one of my favorite authors. I love the sort of gothic academia vibes that both have, as well as a slightly pulpy kind of vibe that reminds me of V.C. Andrews. It's all just right up my alley.
What is everyone else reading?

I really didn't feel like going to work today; I really had to remind myself that I don't hate my job. That I actually really enjoy it! But sometimes you're just not feeling it. I woke up early (probably because I fell asleep at 6pm last night) but I just didn't want to get out of bed.
Now that I'm actually up and moving I feel alright, though.
I had a bit of a rough weekend (I'm off work on Sundays and Mondays) but not for any real reason. I think the seasonal depression is just starting to sink in because I just felt off all weekend. I call it emotionally precarious. I wake up feeling okay but the smallest thing can easily throw me off and ruin my whole day.
I hate feeling like that, but I'm trying to get better at just letting go of my emotions. I always let them steamroll me and I'm trying to learn how to simply feel my emotions and let them pass.

I actually have a lot to look forward to. We're trying to adopt a dog and I absolutely love her! I really hope we get her!
My dog that I've had since I was 17 had to be put down in January of last year and that was really hard. We had a family dog before that, but she was the first dog that felt like mine. Like, she was truly my companion.
But I've really been wanting to get another dog for a while and I finally feel like I'm ready so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. She's so cute and she actually reminds me a lot of the first family dog we had. Here, I'll post some pictures.





And I'm getting a tattoo next Saturday! From an artist I've been eager to work with for a while.
They posted on their story a few pieces they wanted to do and one was a duck. Ducks have kind of become an icon for Linus so I knew I had to get it! I'm really looking forward to it.