Date:	2010-08-10 14:12
Subject:	Surgery
Security:	Public
Mood:	distressed

I know I've been quiet here of late...

Anyhu, for anyone who is curious, I'm having knee surgery tomorrow.

Well, I'm doing better.  It's taking some discipline and responsibility.  I've cut caffeine.  That helps.  I've also found that sugar/carbs make me twitchy.  So, I've been eating low(er) carb.  Nice side effect is that I've lost 20lbs since the first of the month.

So, at this point it looks pretty permanent, but I've got coping mechanisms.

I've opened up a new etsy site for my weavings.  You can see it at http://woventhreads.etsy.com .  At this point there's not a whole lot there (9 items) but I'm working on more.

I've been off the depakote for a while & weaning off of the klonopin.
Unfortunately, the klonopin can cause jerking, etc. while withdrawing, so it's hard to say what all is up. I will say I've been hitting myself a good bit of late.
I feel like the Ramones, with 24 hours to go.
Basically, at this point, I'm facing the realization that i'll probably have this for the rest of my life. If I get too stimulated and/or stressed, it basically sets my nerves off. It's almost like all the nerves are raw from being rubbed with sandpaper. Sometimes valerian helps, but not so much. Alcohol helps, but I don't want to be in the habit of drinking all the time.

Anyhu, that's where it's at.

I finally have a diagnosis.  I went to the OSU movement disorder clinic last week and had a very good visit.  Long short of it is that I have a movement disorder, tardive dyskinesia, caused by the depakote.  I've since researched depakote in more detail and found that a number of other things that have been going on over the past year are likely related to it.

So, I'm ramping down, slowly.  The doctor said it might take six months for the depakote to get out of my system and that I'll get worse before I get better.  There's also a chance of it being permanent.  I'm also ramping down on Clonapin -- while it can help with the dyskinesia, it's also habit forming and related to valium. 

I have found evidence that the following can help with the disorder:

• Vitamin E
• Fish Oil
• Vitamin B6

We close (finally) today at 3.

Supposed to close today at 4ish. still don't know how much $$$$ to bring. didn't sleep last night. stomach not happy. hopefully will be no more surprises. (there were last night).

Barring really weird things, we got the house. thanks to all who sent prayers/energies/good thoughts. Prolly close tues. Thoughts for a smooth closing are appreciated!

We may be cleared to close in the next day or so. Of course, it ain't over until I have keys in hand..... but progress is finally being made... and an end is in sight! This is good 'cause my lease ends on the 30th and if the house does not go then i gotta find someplace.....

The appraisal came back low. Seller appealed (unsuccessfully), eating up 2-3 weeks. Through the realtor, i've been told I need to do more docs for the underwriter. I have attempted to contact both broker and underwriter, to no avail. Meanwhile.... lease ends where i am on the 30th and I have to be out. Thea, on other hand is talking about the red house and wanting to go there/live there. So, it is iteresting in a Chinese sense.

She picked the outfit, saying the shirt was 'perfect'.

Still don't know anything definitive re house. it is at the underwriters. current contract/offer expires on monday. so, we'll see. at this point i just wanna know *something*. of course it would be nice to get it, but the lease ends @ end of month and i need to make decisions..... big part of this is that the appraisal came in low & the seller tried to appeal- tied it up for weeks... so soon we know. thea has been really excited. hopefully she won't be disappoited.

Seller made a counter-offer.  Not as much for closing as might like.

But it's still ongoing.  Inspection on Sat.

Meet w/ mortgage broker on friday.

Please keep fingers crossed....

Making an offer today.  The price is 10K less than I was pre-approved for, so, it looks like we may get 4.75%  30yr fixed rate.

Hopefully they accept the offer and nothing goes *wrong*.....

Thoughts, energy, etc., are appreciated greatly.

I was pre-approved for the loan. now I am working on seeing how much I can dump from 401k for downpayment/closing costs.... so it is a start!

I continue to be better than I was. Have first speech/phys/vocational therapy tomorrow.

There's the possibility of getting a house. it's gorgeous (so cute!!!) and *crossing fingers* any spare energy people might have is greatly appreciated..... More details as they enfold. I've gotta run....

Well, I seem to be doing a good bit better; had 2 really good days this week and a fairly good one today.

Not sure if it is a matter of med finally kicking in, cpap, or learning what I can & can't do, but I'm much, much better.

Actually was able to do some coding at work!

So, it seems as though there's progress.

eeg on friday kicked my butt.

thea and dana were sick over the weekend.

had eval for physical therapy & speech therapy.

at eval social worker seemed convinced i have conversion disorder. as soon as heard about not living w/ dana & thea and situation w/michele she seemed to shutdown and not be open. Meh. I'll research it. But to make a decision I think is pretty premature, since the neuro work isn't in yet.

anyhu, i'm really tired today -- just drained and exhausted. looks as though i'll be doing full days at cas again, unless something changes. *sigh* don't feel as though i'm ready yet, but I don't have a lot of choice.