Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] … Yes.
Dude #2: What’s wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don’t know.
Lake View Terrace, California
- Posted on
- California, Drinking & drunks, Friends, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Pee, Weirdness
Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone’s bisexual… except for Jenny.
Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut
- Posted on
- Compare and contrast, Connecticut, Girls, Restaurants, Sexuality, Tweens, Weirdness
Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?
Los Angeles, California
- Posted on
- California, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Sexuality, Teens, Wishes
Guy #1: John* really needs to get laid. He hasn’t hooked up for months.
Guy #2: Dude, didn’t you hear what happened to him?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: The last girl he brought home shat in his bed. He’s been kind of gun-shy since then.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can’t let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]Philosophy professor: It’s not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]
Luton
England
Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That’s nice.
Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: this is why I don’t shop at the gap
- Posted on
- California, Family ties, Girls, Glad the condom broke, Kids, Malls, Moms, Offspring, Stores, Weirdness
Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.
Glendale Heights, Illinois
Overheard by: rbmmom
- Posted on
- Animals, Compare and contrast, Dads, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Kids, Offers and requests, Pride, Sensory experiences
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I’m in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
- Posted on
- Bragging, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Etiquette, Pride, Teachers, Virginia, Women, Words
Professor: Cats aren’t capable of going into your home, judging what items are valuable, and dragging those items away.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Overheard by: sjshock
- Posted on
- Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Michigan, Teachers
