Mailroom worker: I can’t take him to the Christmas party — he oh beast!
Receptionist: He’s a beast? You mean he’s ugly?
Mailroom worker: No, he’s fat. Like really fat. He’s oh beast.
Floor 7, 9460 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California
- Posted on
- California, Diet & Weight, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Insults, Language barrier
Coworker: You know, they really need to make more Queen Latifah movies.
4501 East Virginia Avenue
Glendale, Colorado
50-ish woman #1: I had this fish for lunch, and it was sooo salty!
50-ish woman #2: Was it? Well, it is from the ocean, you know.
50-ish woman #1: No, it was seasoned with too much salt.
50-ish woman #2: It doesn’t even have to be seasoned! It’s from the ocean!
Elevator, 16th Street and JFK Boulevard
New York, New York
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, New York
Woman #1: I dropped a condom back there.
Woman #2: They never clean.
Woman #1: Well, there’s a rat back there, that’s why I dropped it.
2000 Florida Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: animal lover
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Gossip, Washington DC
Patron: Ummm, I’m looking for a book.
Librarian: Okay, well, do you know what it’s called?
Patron: No.
Librarian: Do you know who wrote it?
Patron: No.
Librarian: Are you just hoping that we have some sort of book?
Patron: Yeah.
Librarian: You know you’re in a fuckin’ library, right?
Austin Public Library
Austin, Texas
- Posted on
- Customer Service, General Idiocy, Texas
Blonde: So, have you taken any Lamaze or yoga classes to help with the birth?
Preggers: No, the thought of having to be around all those pregnant women made me sick.
Oakland, California
- Posted on
- California, Coworkers, Gossip, Insults
Little girl holding Bad Santa: Nana, can I get this Santa movie?
Grandmother: No, you can’t.
Little girl: But my mommy and daddy watched it.
Grandmother: That’s because your parents are bad people.
Wal-Mart
Raynham, Massachusetts
- Posted on
- Insults, Massachusetts, Students
Training manager: So, how’s everything going?
New admin: Fine. Just fine.
Training manager: Are you sure? Do you need anything? Something I can help you with?
New admin: I’m sure. No, really, everything’s fine. I’m fine… I’m just going to, uh, run out to my car for a second. To, uh, grab a bottle of water. I’ll be right back [gets her things and leaves the office, never returns].
Training manager: Wow. Was it something I said?
Assistant: No, I think it was the fact that you kept staring at her boobs.
Training manager: Oh. Right.
East Gude Drive
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, Maryland, Time Management
Employee: These file drawers are really getting overloaded.
Supervisor: Yeah, time for some perjury.
Westlake, Ohio
Overheard by: Giddy-up!
- Posted on
- Executives, Office Politics, Ohio
Suit: We need to start putting our meat in someone else’s box.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
- Posted on
- Advice, Connecticut, Suits
