[ South slumps back in her chair, arms folded across her chest. ]
This is fucking ridiculous. Like, you know that, right? Tell me you know that. [ She receives a quick shock for her troubles and hisses, rolling her shoulders. ] Fucking hell, alright, alright. Ask your stupid questions.
[”If you could get rid of any one of the US states, which one would you get rid of and why?”
South blinks, then squints narrowly at the interviewer.]
Is that a joke? Like, seriously? Is that a joke question?
[The interviewer assures her it’s not and pushes, none-too-subtly, for her to answer.]
Ridiculous. I told you. Fucking— [ Another quick shock and South grumbles, but stops her complaining promptly. She takes a moment to think, but then a smirk flashes across her face. ] I’d get rid of Florida, the creepy motherfucker. Wait, no—Texas. Everything would be easier if Texas didn’t exist.
[ “And what is your reason for wanting to get rid of Texas?” ]
I just told you. Everything would be easier if Texas just didn’t exist. All Texas does it fuck shit up for the rest of us by sticking its nose in where it doesn’t belong and stabbing everyone else in the back.
[ Rich, coming from her, she knows, but South’s never pretended not to be a hypocrite sometimes. She leaves her answer at that, despite the crinkled brow of the interviewer, and they eventually move on.
”What are the qualities you like least and most in your parents?”
South pulls a face. From nonsense about states to some stupid psychological question about her parents? Really? She rolls her eyes, but answer quickly enough that she doesn’t get a shock for her trouble, this time:]
The most? They worked hard, I guess; did what they could so we could get by. Couldn’t fault them much there, even if they were never around ‘cause of it. The least? They used to dress me and my brother— [ She swallows a lump in her throat. ] —like fucking clones. For years. Drove me mad. The fuck is it with people and twins that makes them think we want to be the other twin? Fucking bullshit.
[ She shifts in her seat. ]
Guess that’s not really a quality. Whatever. Let’s say I didn’t like how distant they were.
[”What was a time when you had to work as part of a team?”
South deadpans.]
You mean my entire military career? Is this you checking if I play well with others? Yeah, I can work with a team. [ The machine indicates the resulting reading is inconclusive. ] Fucking— okay, I don’t always like it, but I’m capable. Christ.