Midnight

 The little boys asked for their own pets this year for Christmas. Kyle wanted some fish, that was easy enough. Cache, staying true to his two year request, asked for a tarantula. He loves those creepy crawlys and what I was sure was a phase turned out to be a passion. 

This year we decided to turn that passion into a reality! Scott was less than excited. But, he let his love for his son overpower his fear of the spider. I am so proud of him! 

When Cache opened up the tank on Christmas he could hardly believe it. He was thrilled and couldn't wait for the day to be over so we could pick up the tarantula the following day. 

I found a tarantula breeder (who knew there was such a thing) in Idaho Falls. They had over 30 species of spiders and just happened to have a couple curly hairs for sale. When I took Cache over to pick one out, I didn't realize it would be such an interesting experience. We pulled up to the run down house and I was immediately questioning the situation. The people met us outside and I instantly knew they were kind and excited to share their hobby with my son. They sat down and talked to Cache about their different tarantulas and showed him their favorites. He was enthralled asking question after question and quizzing their knowledge. He peppered them with his quick wit and fast facts and dazzled them with his dimples. When it came time to pick his pet, he knew just which one he wanted. I started to pay and the man said, "Merry Christmas! No payment is needed. This young mans smile and knowing his dream is coming true is enough for me. I'm always happy to help a fellow enthusiast." I was blown away by his kindness. After trying multiple times to pay him, we agreed I would find my own situation to pay it forward. On top of the free spider, they gave him a shirt too. We walked out of the house in complete owe. They could have used the money more than us, but they found an opportunity to serve. It was touching. 

We're two days into this adventure and Cache is doing great. In all honesty, the tarantula, Midnight, isn't that bad. We've watched him dig a burrow, spin a web inside his log and drink from his water. Cache even got to hold him today! He was a bit nervous, but knew just what to do. He says multiple times a day, " I can't believe I have my own tarantula! Midnight is so cool!" Watching his experience his first pet has been the coolest! 

Oh, the lengths we go for our children. It never fails to surprise me. 

Christmas

 Christmas was great this year! It was my own personal miracle. You see, COVID threated to ruin Christmas like it has most everything else. One December 14th I started coming down with a head cold. Just as in times past, I powered through it. Scott was busy with work, kids had the last week of school before break and I had to tie the loose ends of Christmas preparations. There simply wasn't time to be out with a cold. So for a week I was medicated 24/7 with DayQuil and by Friday I was feeling like a new person. Not 100%, but better than I had been. Saturday morning came and my mom and sister stopped by. My mom helped me carry some gifts downstairs and commented on how good the candle smelled. I was shocked. I couldn't smell it at all. It was lit and I had no idea. I walked closer to the candle and still could not smell it. Inwardly, I started to panic since loss of smell is a classic covid symptom. I paid more attention to my lunch and realized I couldn't taste either. Both senses were completely gone. Classic covid. 

I spoke with Scott later that evening and told him my latest discovery. The next few days were a fury of talking to doctors, Scotts work and family about Christmas plans and monitoring everyone else in the family to make sure they stayed symptom free. Scotts work ultimately decided that he couldn't go back to work unless I took the test. I called Dan, my GP and cousins husband, and told him about the situation. He said based on the history of my symptoms and how I was feeling, he wouldn't be surprised if I had it earlier in the week, but tested negative. He had seen a lot of mild symptom cases that show a weaker virus marker and in turn the length of contagion is much shorter. Basically, I waited too long to take the test. And sure enough, he was right. My test came back negative! I was so relieved! Christmas was a go. 

I'm still having some side affects a week later. I still can't taste or smell. My nose is in constant pain. However, that may be due to the fact that we did an at home senses test and I smelled a myriad of spices. I'm quite sure I burned my nostrils. I have some residual fatigue and a pain in my chest that comes and goes. I will have to take the antibodies test to check my blood to see if I was actually infected, but the worst is behind me. And more importantly, we celebrated Christmas with our families. 

We spent Christmas Eve with the Packards. It was a great day! First we built gingerbread houses. The kids really enjoyed it and I loved watching them spend time together with their cousins and listen to their cute conversations. My favorite part was when Alaina was struggling with something and Beckett went over to her and started helping her. It was so sweet. 

We moved on to bingo and then caroled at Grandma and Grandpa Greats house. It was different not celebrating with them, so this was a neat way to include them a little bit. I sure love them. 

Sharlee planned a fun shrink wrap ball game. You try to unwrap the plastic warp as quickly as you can, unearthing candy along the way. The person next to you rolls dice and as soon as they get doubles, your turn is over. It was loud and exciting and so fun. Again, my favorite moment was between Beckett and Alaina. She wanted a certain candy that Tayden had won. I caught wind she was upset so I went to talk to her. I told her I didn't want her to be sad on Christmas Eve, so I gave her the candy. I didn't realize that Beckett was behind me watching the interaction and as I walked out of the room I heard him say, "Are you happy now? Come here, give me a hug!" I looked back and he had her wrapped up in his arms and she was beaming. It was the best moment. 

Scott and I brought Left, Center, Right. The pot had about $65 worth on ones and Jeff won it all. It was a lot of fun too. 

We spent so much time on games and fun, that it was getting time for Jeff and Sharlee to leave and we had started gifts yet. So, we let everyone dig in at the same time. It was a madhouse frenzy free for all and I didn't even get one picture. The highlight was the fishing poles that Tayden and Beckett got from Grandma and Grandpa Packard. They were so excited. They spent a good majority of the next day practice casting in the back yard (with practice plugs). 

We came home and opened our traditional pajamas and played a few minutes of our new game. Then hurried the kids off to bed! Side note about Christmas Eve, we didn't make our usual sugar cookies. I knew we had a big day ahead of us and I didn't really think the kids would even notice. I was wrong. They asked why we were skipping them and were actually pretty bummed. I didn't think they cared about the tradition. It broke my heart a bit, but it also made me strangely proud of the holiday we had made and how much they enjoyed it and looked forward to certain things. I won't be skipping out on them next year. 

Christmas morning was amazing. We opened the morning with a prayer of gratitude for the birth of our savior and then opened gifts. The boys all took part in picking my gifts and it was fun for them to watch me open them. The best part of the morning was opening the painting that I had asked for. 

It's beautiful and it really speaks to my heart. When I saw it in person, tears came to my eyes. The boys gathered around me and asked why I was crying. I got to explain to them that those were my feelings in the form of a picture. I want for our home to be a refuge from the outside darkness of the world. I want our home to be a place of light and growth and safety. The picture shows the mom and dad holding up the walls, keeping out the storms. It takes intentional effort to make the home become that place and its my lifes goal. All I want is for my house to be home. 

We spent the afternoon at my parents house. It was super chill. My parents home has become a second home to my kids and they love being there. They spent the afternoon hanging out on the couch, watching football and playing with their toys and eating their food. JoDell (who just had a baby. More on that later) and Shane came for a quick minute to open gifts before heading up to see Brayden in the NICU. I loved watching my dad open his new shirt that says, "I study triggernomotry". After dinner we played the Candy Bar game and once again, Kyle dominated. Just like the years before.

We ended Christmas in a messy house that was full of love and laughter and contentment. I could not help but feel an amazing sense of gratitude. Gratitude that we made it through this year and still were able to provide Christmas gifts for our kids. Gratitude for our home that keeps us warm and our cars that get us to and from. Immense gratitude for the healthy boys that fill our home and our heart. And more gratitude than every for our Savior, Jesus Christ. The older I get the more I comprehend the direct affect he has on us. His birth is the beginning to everything. Our happiness, our salvation. It all started with the birth of the babe in a manager that night so long along. I am so grateful for that miracle and I'm grateful for my knowledge of it. 

Christmas Jar

Our Christmas Jar is easily turning into one of my favorite family traditions. All year we save our change to use it for good during Christmastime. This year, we decided to use our money to buy toys to donate to the Toys for Tots toy drive. The kids had a good time picking out toys and imaging how happy the receiving kids would be. 

The boys picked out a remote control car, Pokémon cards, a Barbie, remote control boat and a nerf gun. I’m so proud to be these boys mom. 

Sixth Grade

 Tayden has been blessed with great friends in sixth grade. I love getting these pictures from Kelly Bradshaw, Landons mom and school secretary.

Landon Dance, Boston Morris, Landon Bradshaw, Tayden Packard, Shad Schnieder, Yaser Elabed, Kyler, Luke Frandsen and Mason Denning. 

Winning

The other day was rough. Super duper rough. It all started when I told the kids they had to pick up dog poop before the snow came. They were less than thrilled. Less than thrilled turned into arguments and fighting and eventually tears. I had been subbing all week and my to do list was stacking up. My frustration level was high and I had had it. So, I took away screens for the rest of the day and ordered a reset for everyone. The boys knew I was fed up, so they didn't dare cross me and doubt the consequence. What happened next was beautiful. Peace and calm. 

Tayden headed off to basketball practice and the other three stayed home. Kyle got to working on some Perler Beads, Cache drew and Beckett cooked french toast while I sorted laundry. I had to stop and appreciate that exact moment of calm and pat on myself of the back for handling a hard situation and coming up with a win. Being a mom is hard, but I love those times where it feels easy! 

Subbing

I've been missing in action the past week or so. That's because, I have been subbing for the school district. With COVID, the demand for teachers has been higher than ever. What started out as a casual Friday job, has turned into week after week work. Let me start from the beginning. 

A couple of months ago I mentioned to Scott about possibly substituting occasionally while Kyle was in school. He was super supportive and urged me to do it. I signed on with the school district with the idea that I would only sub on Fridays when Scott was home so he could watch Ky in the afternoons after kindergarten. 

Soon, I was subbing Fridays and picking up an occasional day during the week while friends helped with Kyle. My ultimate goal was to start subbing at Woodland Hills, the kids school, which is a invite only school. Meaning, you have to be invited to sub in the school instead of signing up for a job. 

The day came and I was called to sub at Woodland Hills. A two day assignment turned into two weeks and I've been filling in regularly since. It has been a complete dream. The school is so flexible with Kyle. He comes to my classroom (where ever I am) after his class is over and waits until lunch. At lunch, we come home and eat, let the dogs out and relax. Sometimes I drop him off at a friends and sometimes he comes back to the school with me. 

I love being with my boys. I see them regularly through out the day. I have subbed for 6th grade and had Tayden during a rotation. And currently, I am subbing for Cache's class. I have been there for the past week while his teacher is out with COVID. 

Subbing has been wonderful. I love it, so so much. I have wanted to be a teacher all my life, so being in the classroom fills my heart. I feel useful and part of something. I love being at Woodland Hills because I am a part of the community. I know the staff members and the neighborhood kids. My kids and their friends are there. I love walking down the hall and kids saying hi to me and giving me hugs. I like knowing what I am doing and where I am going. I love driving to school with the boys and riding home with them after. I just love it all. 

I've always respected working moms, but this has given me a whole new perspective on the difficulty of it. I'm gone all day, but laundry still needs to be done, house cleaned, chores and homework supervised, dinner cooked, dog walked, etc etc. I have always known it was hard. But doing it a different story. My working mom friend gave me the best. She told me to lower my standards. The house can be a bit out of order and sometimes dinner is cereal and that's okay. This has been such a great learning experience for me. And its been refreshing to have something of my own and a minute to follow my own dream. Life is busy, but so good. 

Thankful Thanksgiving

This thanksgiving was less than ideal. Covid has yet again disrupted our lives. I’m usually pretty positive about the changes that the world is under. We wear our masks to school, work, and stores. We keep our distance from people and keep our partying down to a minimum. However, this year when the kids got a cold that didn’t allow us our traditional Thanksgiving, I was furious. I knew without a doubt it was a cold, but we had no other option but to stay. Poor Scott took the brunt of my anger. Better yet, he got the whole of it. The tears, the yelling, the doubt, the anger. Luckily, after the decision was made there was a body combat at class at the gym and I punched out my emotions for a good hour and felt loads better after. 

After I was able to set my emotions aside, I accepted the situation and got down to planning our meal. It turned out great. In fact, Cache had a great time helping  with the pie and rolls and even Beckett jumped in and lent me a hand. I don’t relinquish control very well, but I was proud of myself for letting the boys help and proud of them for wanting to help. I love making memories with them. 

The day wasn’t the beautiful fight free family day that I was envisioning, but it was good. We enjoyed our time together and ate a lovely a meal. We spent time drawing and Tayden drew an awesome Donald Duck. We remembered our blessings and thought of the pilgrims. All and all, it was a good day. Although, I can’t wait to get back to tradition. 

One great part of this thanksgiving was his counsel from our dear prophet to flood social media with posts of gratitude to help combat the unrest that the world is feeling and promote hope and peace. Scott and I took the challenge. Here are our posts. 

From Scott:  

*I am so grateful for these boys who call me dad. Being a dad is hard, and extremely challenging. Luckily Stacey and I have been blessed with four sons who bring us so much joy and happiness! #givethanks

*Where would I be without my parents! These two have taught me so much in life, and I love them dearly. They have always been my biggest support and have wanted nothing more than success for me and my family in life! Beyond grateful! #givethanks

* It’s these moments at the end of a day that help me to remember a loving Father in Heaven. And for HIM, I am grateful. It’s these moments that everyday help me feel HIS presence. This allows me to know I am important. Not just important, but special enough for this world to be created for me to grow, and everyone around me. #givethanks

*Today I am grateful for modern medicine. Two years ago I began to feel a little off. My legs would get tired easily, and I would often become short of breath. No big deal right? I thought for sure it was just me out of shape and getting older (35). I took several test- 11 EKG’s, a stress test (I could hardly do that) tons of blood work and my results all came back inconclusive. There was no reason why It should be linked to my heart many stated. Luckily I was blessed with a cardiologist that knew something wasn’t right and scheduled an angiogram to be certain. One hour later I was the new recipient of a stint place in my Left Main Coronary Artery. The cardiologist estimated it was between 90-95% blocked. He called it the Widow Maker and stated that I was incredibly lucky. I was lucky alright, but I know more than anything I was truly blessed. Blessed with finding the right doctors at the right time, and listening to a loving wife. Because of modern medicine I am alive. I am able to play with my family and enjoy the things I love. And more than anything, I am here to watch them grow to be men. For that I am grateful! #givethanks

*Life is so much easier with this beauty at my side. Stacey is absolutely my better half, and I surely would be lost without her. She’s the one that ALWAYS laughs at my goofy jokes, and continues to keep me grounded. In addition to babysitting me... She is an amazing mother to our four boys. She’s patient, loving, and most importantly has an absolute selfless devotion to her family. How I  was SO blessed to find her will forever be a mystery to me. For this,I am grateful! #givethanks

From Stacey: 

* I’m so grateful for our Superintendent and school district for keeping the schools open for our kids and the teachers for showing up each day. They have worked endlessly to find solutions to the challenges we are facing. The masks, hand sanitizer, temperature checks, social distancing, quarantines  and many other protocols have allowed my boys to go to school. I’m grateful to see them among friends, learning in person and thriving each day. #givethanks

* Happy birthday, Scott Packard! God knew I needed you before I was even aware something was missing. You filled my void. You found me. You make me whole. Today, I #givethanks for you.

*Today I #givethanks for a healthy dog. A couple of weeks ago, Luna gave us a scare and we learned she has an autoimmune disorder that causes her blood to attack the platelets (ITP). We started meds and she is responding wonderfully. In fact, we found out today all her blood work is normal! There’s a long road ahead to remission, but today we are celebrating. She is so very very loved.

* I LOVE being in Young Women's. I adore my girls. I feel at my best when I'm with them. As a leader our goal is to help the girls nourish the body, nourish the soul and connect with Christ. I couldn't be more grateful to be part of this great work. Its such a blessing. #givethanks

* I’m grateful for our thankful tree and the opportunity it provides my children to #givethanks. They have blown me away with their gratitude from socks to soldiers and everything in between.

Christmas Miracle

It’s not even Thanksgiving, but we’ve already witnessed a Christmas miracle. Scott put up Christmas lights!! All it took was a sweet little five year old to look at his daddy and ask please.