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Marriage - Part I
> >
> >
> > Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after
> >
> > the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
> >
> >
> > "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want
> > and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner
> > to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
> > I'll
> > go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my
> > old
> > buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
> > rules.
> >
> > Any comments?"
> >
> >
> > His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand
> > that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .
> > whether you're here or not."
> >
> > (DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
> > ************************************
> >
> >
> > Marriage (Part II)
> >
> >
> > Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
> > wedding anniversary!
> >
> > The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
> > that reads:
> > "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
> >
> > "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
> > that reads:
> >
> > "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
> >
> >
> > (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
> > ******************************
> >
> >
> > Marriage (Part III)
> >
> > Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
> > breakfast table.
> > Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
> > either,"
> > and storms out of the house.
> >
> >
> > After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make
> > amends
> > and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings,and the
> >
> > irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the
> > phone?"
> > She says, "I was in bed."
> > "In bed this early, doing what?"
> >
> > "Getting a second opinion!"
> >
> > (YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
> > ******************************************
> >
> >
> > Marriage (Part IV)
> >
> > A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
> > He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
> > "Mother of
> > Six" in spite of her objections.
> >
> > One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to
> > go home
> >
> > and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
> > shouts at
> > the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
> > His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,shouts
> > right back,
> > "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
> >
> >
> > (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
> > **************************************
> >
> >
> > Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
> >
> > A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
> > giving each
> > other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
> > next day,
> > he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
> > morning business
> > flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
> > LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
> > "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would
> > find it.
> > The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00
> > AM
> > and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
> > see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
> > paper by
> > the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
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