Treasure Chest

I don't know if you remembered.
But, I was reminded time and again as I opened up my treasure box
and I found not one but many of those copied messages.
In those treasure box, it was really filled with priceless treasures.
Treasures that I've been keeping because they meant a lot to me
even though they were just words.
And, tonight I discovered that it's really an exception when it comes to you.

On X-mas Eve

It's already the eve of Christmas - the season of love and laughter. It might be a little over exaggerated to say so, but every time the word Christmas is said, it somehow makes my heart flutter with much joy and smiles. I still wonder why the word sends so much warmth to people around the world. It has to be the way the word sounds or maybe the way the word is being expressed in different tones.

The season of Christmas also signifies the coming of a brand new year and an end to the year 2008. I am beginning to think about next year ... What will there be in store for me to learn and experience? Or what will I do to take the chances bestowed to me to learn and experience more to life?

Sometimes, I think that although many things are fated along the way, we are the one controlling the wheels and maneuvering our own journey. Admittedly, I am not the one who always comes out with new year resolution because I never believe in following them religiously. But, lately I'm sensing that I am losing some sense of direction as to where I want to be when I graduate, for instance. Well, it's not like I've never felt lost before. Maybe it's just that as I grow older (or wiser), I want to be certain of a few important things in life. I want to have at least a figure in mind of what I am going to do next. Like a flow chart that will guide me to what's the next step, what's after this, etc. Another question, sometimes I wonder what's the point of having all the plan in hand when more times than not, god always turns our plan around. Is this the way god works his magic? Or is it the way things are supposed to be? Sometimes, how do we know if it's right or wrong? For many years, all I always do is to rely on my guts and instincts. And, I must say I am always thankful that they take me to where I belong.

Personally, this year has been a rather eventful year for me. It has been one of the most enduring endeavor in many aspects of my life - family, friends, love, college, etc. This year itself, I've learned what does it feels like to be working in a real PR environment, what does it feels like to realise that sometimes what we thought was significantly good enough is still never good enough, who are my real friends, what does it mean to follow my heart, what does it mean to take my chances, what does it mean to walk forward and never look backwards , what does it mean to live by each day as it, how to deal with different people, how to be more patient, how to give more and take less, how to love more and expect less, etc. Just way too many I think. Hmmm ....

I am tired of thinking, wondering and wishing. Maybe 2009 is a good year for me to start considering having a new year resolution. Perhaps I shud start with baby steps ... like a monthly resolution? It's seems more feasible.

I think these are so cute! =)

(Source: http://www.therepressedpastrychef.com)

I love Sushi

I am hungry. Looking at this makes me even more hungry. :(
I love sushi. Thanks. :)

Of being 21 (part II)

I know it's rather backdated. =)

A cookie jar

" With my chest throbbing quickly and my legs weakening at the knees,
a sudden thought of counting those moments came to mind.
I reckon that a cookie jar with each counting stars
to signify every of those moments
is just a way for me to look at how much things will grow.
I shall pin this thought to mind
At this moment, I am counting that there are already three stars in it."

Addicted to Food Blogs

I so need to stop looking any kind of food blogs at this odd hours. It's driving me insanely crazy and I can hear my stomach rumbling.

Can I just have a bite of chocolate? Or a scoop of ice-cream?

Thank god I don't have any of those in my fridge.. or else..... hmmmm.... =p

27/11

There are 4 seasons in a year.
Each of the seasons takes its own precedence
It colours its own emotions and feelings

Winter is all about blue and white
It's about the stillness and the warmth that tangled up between your feet
It's a season of laughter and smiles
It's a season filled with loved ones

Spring is all about orange and yellow
It's about the clear blue sky and bright yellow sun
It's a season where inspirations rise
It's a season where all the good begins

Autumn is all about green and yellow
It's about the earthy ground being filled with dried leaves
It's a season of sweet berries and crisp apples
It's season of sweetness in the mouth

Summer is all the colours that you can imagine
It's about exploring and livin' up to anything
It's a season of ice-creams, popsicle and sand castles
It's a season of summer love

*********************

Certain seasons in life comes so unexpectedly,
Even when you take a step back to consume it,
The season still seems so unbelievable,
It was sometime in the evening that the summer arrived earlier than expected.

Stayclose

I find this simply funny. Sometimes it's rather interesting to hear stupid yet silly and humorous explanations.

"Yeah, it's like making 2 into 1.
I just build a twin tower - A bridge connecting tower A and B."

Well, this might not be the exactly same words. At least they are along this line. AHAHHAHA

I am sorry. It's just too funny and it has been playing in my mind for very long. There's more actually but *hush* they are things that I promised to keep as a secret. I think.

And, yeah...I am just going to pretend like it didn't happen. ;^)

I'm really sorry. Aahahahaa =p

When the time comes

"Maybe if it's later it will mean even more"

I think so too
I think it will be more ...
meaningful
sincere
sweet
significant
precious
valuable
memorable
loving
More than anything
=)

Trust me

The sun was shinning ever brightly when I was pacing my way on the red track. In a mere seconds, the clouds above my head was changing its bluish hues to a gradient of grayish tint. Silently, I realised that the rain was coming. As I came to my normal spot, I lifted my legs one at a time to establish a constant rhythm. It didn't take long till I could feel rain drops trickling down my forehead. Did I stop there? No, because I am not a quitter. More importantly, I do not care. Whether the rain decides to storm the weather, the moon decides to glow in the dark or the stars decide to dance to the moonlight, it doesn't matter at all. I really don't care. And, I really don't mind. Trust me. Believe me like I've always believe. Indeed, the sun came shinning right after that.

p/s: Running under the rain was fun :p

21st

... is thinking what does it feels like to be 21

... is thinking about what she has done, is doing, and should be doing

... is thinking about a lot of things

I think it's going to be a night to reflect upon things in life.

................................................................................................

"Doors slide open and shut along life's path.
Roads diverge right and left.
The only way to discover where they lead is to choose which one to take."

(Goldie Hawn, A lotus grows in the mud)

Filled with oddness

We eat at odd hours,
We shower at odd hours,
We sleep at odd hours,
We talk at odd hours.

They are a compilation of awesome oddness and I am enjoying every bit of it.

Growing

Piercing my eyes into the future, I feel like I have to do something significant. Well, like people always say, "Life is what I made out of it." I have no idea why do I feel so inspirational or motivational ..... maybe it will fade away in a few days. Perhaps, it will decide to stay longer. Or is it because I am catching up with age, or is it because age is catching up with me?

I have no idea. -_-

I just feel like I need to do something significant. Once.

I need something interesting to do. Something that is out of the ordinary. Something that can make me grow. Something that challenges me. =)

The epitome

I'm looking for the best words to write it. But, I can't seem to find those words. I can't even seem to figure out where and how should I begin it with or even how should I describe it. Plus, I want it to be like the most perfect story ever written. Alright, maybe not totally perfect, but at the very least fulfilling to the heart and mesmerising to the eyes. And, I want to have many chapters because only then the book is worth writing and reading. Yes, I am that greedy! And, not to forget stingy. So yea, I am having writer's block for this particular book. Unless ...

Maybe you can lend me a hand at writing it?

How do you know?

How do you know you really want it?
When you try to remember everything
And the thought of forgetting scares the hell out of you

How do you know you mind?
When nothing else matters at all
And, all you think about is that

Hold on to

Tomato cheese toast
Morning coffee
Ratatouille
Couch
Bed
Microwave salmon
and sausages
Bubble bath
Evening cycles
Lakeside bench
Sushi

Again?
- Miss it loads -

There are many things in life that we hold on to. When in times of doubt, we take a walk through the charted pages of the book. Blissful memories, whether they are long or short, big or small, it doesn't matter at all. What matters most is the person you had that memory with as they remind us that if it was possible 'then', it is possible 'now' as well.

I want to believe that one day when I open my book, I will read many chapters on Sundays. =)

Song of the night

These Days by Chantel Kreviazuk

What's this life anyway?
What's it to you and me?
What's it to anyone?
Who are we supposed to be?
Make me a storybook
Write me away from here
I need a different now

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow a smile
I'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After...

Once upon these days

There's four roads to anywhere
Four ways to everything
We were unbreakable
We spoke our destiny
Let's take a moment out
Go where we never go
Let's make a new world now

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow your smile
We'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After...

Once upon these days

Then one day we'll find
when we're looking back at this time
Wondering how we've come so far from this
When we close our eyes

What's this life anyway
What's it to you and me
What are we doing here
Who are we supposed to be
I'll take a better world
I'll take anything
I'll take our little world now

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow your smile
We'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After...

Once upon these days

*******
- Questions that seems to have their own ways to creep out at this hour -

For my sister (1st attempt)

My sister says that if I am going to blog about something simpler she will then leave a comment here. So, here I am blogging a separate post. It shouldn't be that hard to blog about simple things right?

.... after 1 minute

.....after another minute

Gosh, how come I can't think of anything simple to say?

Let's just resort to bullet answers. AHAHAHAHAA

...... after 5 minutes

Gosh, I really don't know what I should write.

Certain things

Certain things
Just need some time to getting used to
For we have been accustomed to how things used to be
When change takes its course
We have to learn to take that route

Certain things
Just need some time to getting used to
For we cant expect two different things to somehow be the same or even similar
When they are not they way we wanted them to be
We have to learn to embrace those differences

Certain things
Just need some time to getting used to
For we can't possible foresee everything in the future
When they react paradoxically
We have to learn to accept them openly

Certain things
Just need some time to getting used to
For we can't have the same routine for the rest of our lives
When they bring us new perspectives
We have to be grateful that we are learning new things

Certain things
We just can't expect too much
For when they failed to soar above our expectations
It leaves a void in our heart and mind

Certain things
We just need to learn to forget
We just need to break away from the conventional
We just need to grow out of it

Untitled

*spank head* I totally forget to print my magazine style guide to be handed in. But, it's in the CD, so it should be alrite? Hmmm.. sigh =(

Currently, the only thing that I am looking forward to is the end of this semester. Even my mum officially said that my course assignments are taxing. I am supposed to edit my business assignment. Just want to get done editing and put it aside and wait for it to be handed in next week. Thank god it's a group assignment! Aside from that, there is also the video production assignment, CSS assignment, blah.. blah.. blah.... =p

What am I doing here when I am supposed to do my work? I guess sleeping from 6pm - 11pm is keeping my eyes wide open now. I promise I will do my work once I am done with this. So, what am I doing here? It just feels as though I have something to say but I just can't seem to find that piece of mind.

Being caught up with so much work can be a good thing at times (and I really mean sometimes ONLY) . I tend to think less about other aspects in life. Pretty much like I just get the day by with doing what I am ought to finish. I don't sit back and immersed myself with self-provoking thoughts that never fails to lead me from one event to another event, and then it gets too overwhelming at times.

Maybe later.....

What am I up to?

Hmm..nothing much actually. Aside from doing my never ending assignments, my life has been pretty much filled with mundane routine. Just in a blink of an eye, this year is almost coming to an end. It's so fast and it scares me!

Plus, I just realised that today is already October 8, which means that I'll be turning 21 really really soon. But, I am just not feeling it yet. I wonder why.......Oh.... I just picked out a really bad habit recently - watching videos on youtube. It's such a waste of time. Ahahhaa.. but I convince myself that it's just a form of getting a "break" from assignments!

Anyway, I find this video really sweet. =) i got it from youtube

Sigh! Back to assignment... back to reality! -_-

Tonight

Why does it feels so cold tonight?

I wish

On a rainy night
With closed eyes
A head lay upon a heart
A hand wrap around the waist
And these are the moments
You could not ask for more

12 random thoughts

1. Working can be a very daunting task. However, nothing beats working with close friends! =)

2. I love surprises!

3. I am not motivated for my degree at all. In a way, I feel cheated because sometimes it feels like I am learning what I've learned in my diploma. The course syllabuses are almost repetitive and the only difference is that the subjects have different names. How silly?! Not to mention, the assignments are absolutely crazy. At times, I do wonder why I am back at college when I can actually continue working. I guess one major setback for me if I were to continue working is the fact that I won't have a degree certificate with me. Yeah, that piece of paper matters that much for the future. On another hand, as much as I would like to graduate, I refuse to start working so fast. Oh god, I am so complicated! I think it's more of human nature to have an insatiable needs and wants in life. Why are we constantly craving for better things in life?

4. Esther, I am excited over our "business" plan! **Tee-hee-hee** It would be so great if one day it can be materialised. I think we'll make good partners. I hope! Ahahhaha =)

5. I think Leona Lewis has a voice of an angel. I think Colbie Caillat's songs are very straight forward.

6. My mum has been taking my "emo" story books to read. Is it good? I haven't been reading at all except for boring journals and articles. I think after all this, I am going to pamper myself with a "me" session at the bookstore. I miss sitting there with a cup of coffee and a great book at hand for hours. Sometimes ,I do "people watching" and try to read them. Ahahaha.. I love reading people! =)

7. My sisters are "blaming" me for their recent coffee addiction. =p

8. I hope that the toilet gets fixed as soon as possible. It's just crazy to wake up so early every morning because of the drilling.

9. The scale is not going down. It's time to get my butt back to yoga classes. Next month... next month I will start!

10. I miss Karen and Safira so much. Sigh! I wish i can fly to Australia and meet them. Stay for a week and just have fun with them. Then, I can also visit Apple and Bernice. Next year, I have better reason to go when Cyrus and Miranda go over to complete thier degree. I shall work during my coming holidays.

11. I want to watch a play at KLPAC. I guess I miss acting on stage alot. Plus, I like going to KLPAC at night. It somehow gives me an inexplicable aura. Maybe it's haunted! -_-

12. Sometimes, we have all the details in our head. As we try to arrange them orderly, we can't seem to figure out what should come first, what should be the last, what should be said to fill in the gaps. We have..we have it all thought out but not said out. It's just so hard to explain certain matters,especially matters at heart. At times, we do wonder whether we said too much, too little, just right, not right, so wrong or not too wrong. Consequently, we tend to subconsciously question how we will be seen and interpreted for what we say and do. Where do we draw the lines exactly? However, if we continue drawing lines in our lives, does not mean that we are drawing boundaries as to where we can and cannot go? I have to admit that I used to be very judgmental about people. I make my own conclusion about people through their conversation and behaviour. Nevertheless, over the years, I realised that it's just not fair or even right to decipher what kind of person he/she is that way. I would say that we can only start to know and learn to understand a person behind closed doors. When someone shares their anecdotes, it opens a leeway for us to engulf in their experience. And, it is experience that shape and mould who they are as well who we are.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

There is just something about running.
There is also something about lying on the sit up bench and staring blankly at the sky.

Today

Conversation that seems small yet deep
Rides that seem long yet serene
Meal that seems simple yet delicious
Walk that seems tiring yet meaningful
Rest that seems short yet peaceful

Suddenly I remembered

Suddenly I remembered
It was one of those quiescent nights
On that rough pavement
Where the dark sky was absolutely beautiful
Where soulful voices formed the uncharted melody

Blogging from class ....

1. Swee Ling is pissed!

2. Swee Ling finds learning dreamweaver kinda fun. But, wait till she has to get her assignments done.

3. Swee Ling is angry!

4. Swee Ling is angry!

5. Swee Ling is very very very very angry! RAWR!!!!

Before It's Too Late

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real till it's gone

Hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real till it's gone

- Goo Goo Dolls -

Always

If you can't go dancing under the rain
We'll just stand under the pouring shower head

If the world turn its back against you
Just look ahead and you'll find me

Tainted Image

living
breathing
surviving
under the tainted image radar

When we were young

When we were younger
We used to pretend
Pretend to be who we wanna be
Pretend to be where we wanna be
Pretend to be what we wanna be

As we grow older
Pretending seems to be a tiring affair
We just wanna be who we wanna be
We just wanna be where we wanna be
We just wanna be what we wanna be

We seem to distance ourselves from the fairytale
From that fantasy of how life would be
All we seek for is just a form of simplicity
If we do not know what the future holds
We just care about now
For as long as the mind is at ease
The heart is contented
We think we can stand firmly on the ground

:(

Currently going crazy just by reading the first three pages of Todd Oakley's article

conceptual blending theories?
conceptual integration?
linguistic meaning and textual hermeneutics?
simulations semantics?

Patience! I know I will get this. They usually make simple things complicated. Really! Just like the previous KVL's chapters......

-

Why?

The dictionary tells me that 'why' is used when people seeks for a reason, a purpose or an explanation.

A Picture

I am not too sure if it was just me or not. Initially, I thought that it would be an 'easy peasy' task to look for a picture to critique. Having spent days and hours looking through pictures after pictures, I realised that I was very wrong .

All along the way, I reckoned that the whole process of selecting a picture was unduly time consuming because I was looking for a picture that is artistically akin to me. Practically, I shouldn't be doing that because there are many other assignments waiting for me. So, if I can actually find a picture that consists of 3 elements and principles respectively, I should be jumping with joy and move on with the writing process. Me, being me, I somehow just refuse to do so. Anyway, I am very satisfied now that I've found the 'one'. The time and effort spent were all worthwhile.

They say that an 'artist' visual composition at a given point of time often reflects their current state of mind. I think it's absolutely true. In my opinion, for a picture to stand on its own without having to provide a descriptive account reflects that the picture has a universal appeal. Meaning that the picture brings a form of relationship to the 'viewer 'simply because once upon a time the viewer have felt maybe not exactly, but similar feelings as the 'artist'. Or it could be that the 'viewer' is currently enveloped in that particular moment. You know when that overwhelming euphoria comes rushing to your heart when you stare at picture that seems to reverberate your emotion?

Maybe like the picture below? Lolx =)

- Reaching for the sky -

Feel like I've been trampled

As I am typing away, the smell of the moist banana cake still lingers in my mouth. I am suppose to start on my assignment, but my mind is scattered recklessly all over an empty room. I do not know where should I begin. Everyday we unconsciously or consciously prepare a "to-do" list. At the end of the day, we will review the list to see what have we accomplished and what we have to catch up for the very next day. Lately, it feels as though my "to-do" list of the past can't seem to be completed as much as I would like to.

See... I can't even continue writing because I do not even know where should I start...

Maybe I do know where I should start, but I am just questioning myself whether do I really need to do this...

To tell

To explain

To share

Where are my rights as a human in this world that is so big that I can barely hug it with both my bare hands?

I am that tiny relatively compare to the size of this universe.

But, how come I feel like I am supposed to carry the entire world on my shoulder?

Lately, one lawfully lesson that I have learned is that I am not supposed to fall in love freely.

Yes, you read it right - a 'lawfully' lesson. Since when is there a law when it comes to love? I do not know. Don't ask me! I am told so. Hence, should I just digest that law and embed it into my life?

I didn't thought that I will turn 21 in this way ...

Maybe, god is giving me a very memorable lesson before I turn 21.

You see, it's not easy to change a person behaviour, attitude, disposition, so on and so forth especially when one is hitting the era of being a 'young adult'. Hence, for one to be accused of not being the same person as she is anymore is rightfully and lawfully unfair to her because she belongs to herself! It feels like I've been ripped of my freedom and right as a normal human being in this world.

You know what will be a great fix for this feeling right now?

Hiding underneath the blanket with the rain beating rhythmically at the background or maybe a hot bubble bath with all the lights off so that I can just escape. Even if it's a temporarily escape, I will just seize it!

Part 3: The Choice

Comparing the yesterdays,
Today encapsulates the new,
A feeling that has a resonance in its own right,
Certainly unassuming for all the things she is.

'

Part 2: A Day After

I sit and stare
Wishing that the puzzle will unravel itself
As everything is still
Can you tell me?

Part 1: The Day You Took Off

Maybe then,
Maybe then,
Your silent gesture
Is an annotation of possibility

Silent Understanding

Do you know no one will ever understand?
Yea.
But it doesn't matter
At the end of the day
It's the silent understanding that matters the most ......

Solitary Judgement

edited:
I think no one understand 'us' better than ourselves.

No one has the right to judge 'our' actions but ourselves.

At the end of the day, we have to stand up and be accountable of the consequences of our own choices. People might tell me that I am making the biggest mistake. I beg to differ. I want to believe that my soul-stirring voice is leading me in an organic manner.

In life, no one has the autonomy to tell us that they understand what we are going through. There isn't one word that can aptly describe one's perspectives and judgment. Essentially, this intricate mind of ours encapsulates an individual approach to life which helps to distinguish 'us' from 'others' and 'me' from 'you'.

And, this is the many facets to this fascinating personality - you, me, he, she, etc.

Definitely. Certainly. Absolutely.
This three words speaks distinctively of the choices that I've made for the past few weeks.

- Which line will you walk ? -

Currently

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
cause I'm still trying to figure it out
don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
trying to see through the rain coming down
even though I'm not the only one
who feels the way I do.

I'm alone, On my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
and I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
feeling lucky today, got the sunshine.
could you tell me what more do I need
and tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
but that's ok

I'm alone, On my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
but I'm ready to fly..

I'm alone, On my own, and that's all I know
Oh I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
Oh I'm alone, On my own, and that's all I know
Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Oh I'm just a girl
Oh I’m just a girl
Oh I’m just a girl

by Taylor Swift, A Place In This World

Coming up next: A birthday post!

Songs that I love

Just came back from Singapore two days ago. To sum it all up, the trip was very tiring. Things are expensive there. I can't help myself from thinking about the exchange rate whenever I want to buy something. Even when it comes to food! ahahhahaa =) All in all, I want to go back to Bangkok so that I can shop freely without thinking so much about the price. And, I can test my negotiation skills again. The thrill of negotiating, I like that!

Will post up some pictures of Singapore soon..... And I have pictures and videos of penguins. They are oh-so-adorable!!!!!

Anyway, just to share a few songs that I like. For what? Hmm.. for the fun of sharing! =)

1. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
The lyrics is so straight forward. And the rhythm and beat of the song is like one of the songs you can listen to again and again while lying on the beach. Ahhh.. so blissful. I think the new album by Jason Mraz is a really good album. He even has a duet with Colbie. The song is "Lucky". TWO Thumbs up!!!

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours 

2. Dream Catch Me - Newton Faulkner
I like the title of the song! But, the song is even nicer!!!!! I like this part of the song....

There's a place I go when I'm alone

Do anything I want, be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I'm falling

That's where I'm going, where are you going
Hold it close, won't let this go
Dream catch me yeah
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won't come back at all

3. Broken - Lifehouse
This song reminds me of days when we have doubts about things in our life. It's too sappy. Don't ever hear this song on a happy day. It has the power to ruin your mood and remind you of all those emotional struggle you have. So, only hear it when you are really emo -_-

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, I'll be ok

Hmmm... what else ya?

4. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
Ahahahaha..... when I first heard this song on the radio I was literally laughing my lungs out! The lyrics is very catchy, quirky in a very teasing manner as well. Lolx. Take a look at the lyrics...

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Okie, I am lazy already. There are so many other songs that I like...... =) Oh... and I definitely love David Cook version of "Always Be My Baby". =) And and.. I also like Switchfoot - "This is home"... I also like Evan and Jaron - "Crazy for this girl" (I know this is cheesy, but I love Dawson Creek). One more before I go, I love Bon Jovi alot! I would love to go to their concert one day....


p/s: I am enjoying my holidays so much. I love bumming around doing nothing at all. =p

My tummy is growling

One of the setbacks of staying up late till this hour for no apparent reason is ........

I WILL HAVE CRAVINGS FOR FOOD. YOU NAME IT. I WANT IT!

This is bad I better go to bed now and dream of ........................

**********
p/s: You won't like me when I am hungry

I want my sushi tomorrow.
Oh wait, I mean later when I'm awake! =)
Japanese food is so good. Yum Yum!

I am still looking for what I love

I think my biological clock is somewhat screwed! It's close to 5 a.m now but I refuse to sleep. Yeah, I "refuse". My friends who are trying their best to finish their assignments are yearning to sleep while I refuse to sleep when I actually can. I think something must be wrong with me. Plus, I should actually sleep more because I reckon that once I am back at college, I will be deprived of sleep.

So, it has been confirmed that I will be going back to Taylor's to obtain my degree. As much as I would like to go somewhere else, I think I should just learn to count my blessings to be given a scholarship to study. In a way, at least my decision to work for about 5 months before going back to college was worth it. Actually, even if I did not get a scholarship, I would still think that what I have gained for the past months is priceless. For all that I have gone through; I think they are worthwhile.

You know, it's really so hard for me to determine what I love to do. I am very certain that I have not discover my true love. I don't think (or at least I hope I wont' be) I am one who is willing to compromise my enjoyment and contentment for money. Money is indeed an important survival commodity in today's world. And, by saying this, most of you will think that I am crazy. But, honestly, after working in a real public relations environment, I am not sure whether my heart belongs there. As much as I think I can be good and better at what I do, I always, always question myself whether working in the public relations line is where I want to go. Hence, I ended up asking myself countless times about my degree. At the very beginning, I was like, as long as I get a scholarship to pursue my degree, then everything will be alright. However, when I managed to get a scholarship, I then went on to doubt about my choice for degree.

I will be going back to Taylor's come this 31^st July. I really hope that along the way, I will discover and rediscover more of myself – interest, belief, goals, and dreams. Maybe some of you might think that people like me, who intends to seek for happiness are the ones at the losing end as compared to the ones seeking for power and money. Well, maybe I am. But, as long as I am happy and contented, I think I will live a memorable life at the very least. I know I am not realistic. Regardless of what, I want to prove that it's possible to attain things in life without neglecting my stands in terms of love, relationship, family and friends.

A communication degree should be one of the most flexible degrees around. Thus, I am pretty sure I will one day (hopefully soon) discover where I wanna be, what I wanna do, how am I going to do it....... =)

Written today for yesterday

I feel like ideas and thoughts always come in a very unpredictable manner as well as on a very unassuming time. Just this evening as I was sitting on a swing, many things came gushing through my brains. As I try to recollect them now, I feel like I have lost track of the momentum of the whole atmosphere.

It's weird. I mean, me. Ahahhaa..

I think I share some surreptitious conversations with God every now and then. Although, I am not a religious girl, I somehow know that whenever I speak, there is someone out there listening to me. So, I was just merely asking God a few questions and I told him to give me the answers through the songs that I was listening while jogging. Surprisingly, for every question that I asked, God gave me an utterly honest answer. Truth to be told, they were answers that I knew about but afraid to embrace them.

Told you I am weird! Do you people share these sort of conversations with god? Does God gives you answer in return? How do we read the answers that God gave us?


I should so go to bed now....

Oh, I was watching 'Kung Fu Panda' just now. Just a quote from that movie to end this short post.

"Yesterday is history,
Today is a gift
Tomorrow is a mystery"

unsettled

As I try to gain my composure on the many unsettling matters, I realised that this is never going to be easy. Nevertheless, I am thankful and grateful for what I have gained, but somehow, deep inside my heart, I know the existence of a tinge of uncertainty that is clouding my mind.

Maybe.. maybe tomorrow i will tell you more.

Perhaps tomorrow I will be ready to unravel what is intoxicating my mind and heart.

Losing all the "omphhhh"

It's my last week of work, hence I reckon that I should be feeling enthusiastic to give my all. But, somehow I am just not feeling it at all......

Anyway, there isn't much to do. Of course, there are still writings to be done, but the amount is still comprehensible.

Elsy invited me to lunch as it's my last week here at Eric Pringle. However, I am actually feeling intimidated by that gesture. I wonder why. Ahahahaha =) I guess eating with my superior makes me feel so 'small'

Things that made my day

In no particular order.....

1. David Cook is the winner for this year American Idol. Yay! It's the cook that rules the kitchen.

2. "You have a lot for a 21-year-old." - anonymous

3. Catching up with friends at Chee Liang's 21st birthday.

4. Making new friends.

5. An amazing adventure for this weekend. What makes it even more special.. is because I am doing it with my close friends. It's gonna be fun! =)

6. Staying over at Est's place.

7. Because today is Friday.

8. I wanna go here: http://www.pangkorlautresort.com/index.htm
You know, they have an infinity pool. That is so cool... but, it's freaking expensive. (jaw drop!)

9. Today's train ride was not boring because I have someone to talk to. She told me that shopping at Indonesia is freaking cheap. ahahhahaha..... that reminds me of Bangkok. I miss that place so much. I wanna go back there again.

Hopefully, there are more to come....

Demotivated

I am freaking angry. There is no amount of words that can describe what I am feeling right now. I personally think that people should not take advantage of others. Tak tanya pun whether I have alot of work to do also, just dump it to me. Dah-lah, I have alot to do right now. Dumping miscellanous work to me proves that (O----<) is just so lazy! Simply making use of people.

ARgggggghhhhh.. i just can't freaking tolerate with people like this. Should I stand up for myself? I have no idea why am I asking myself this question as I've just ranted about how I feel.

(Swee Ling, you are such a coward!)

A Quick Bite

1. Two more weeks, or less, and I am out-of-here. I don't exactly hate being there. Nevertheless, I think it's time.

2. I hope that I can get my butt to office tomorrow earlier than usual to finish one of the post event releases that I've been avoiding to write. Reason being, I just can't seem to figure out how am I going to angle the story. Till now I have no freaking idea also. I am just praying (really hard) I will think of something tomorrow morning.

3. I want to attend a PC before I leave. ahahaha.. =) Maybe I'll ask my boss tomorrow whether I can go with her to the PC tomorrow. Just to "ke-po" and see how they conduct a PC. So "ulu" of me. I know.

4. I can't wait for June 26 to come. I'll be flying off to Singapore.

5. One good news is better than none I guess

5. I want to have an ice-cream that doesn't melt!

6. I can't seem to find time to exercise. My yoga mat is collecting dust. I think I am taking work as an excuse not to attend class. Well, can't blame me also... coz these days going to Klang town is like travelling to Subang (last time). The jam here is just unbearable anymore. 30 minutes just to get to yoga class. Perhaps I should change my class to their new venue at Bukit Tinggi. I do exercise actually. But, it's not enough for me. I gained weight easily. Yeah, gotta admit I have body issues, weight issues with myself for as long as I can remember! *sob*sob*

7. My car is not back yet. Sigh! =(

8. Hearing Eva makes me think that my job is not as bad as hers. Nothing comes easy in life! *hugz eva tightly*

9. Esther is 21 oledi! ahahahhaa.. Aunty ET =p

10. I want to look for a part time job for next month. Those promoter kinda jobs where they pay like 100-120 a day. Well, I think if it's Klang, I don't mind getting paid 80 a day. I am so desperate. ahahahhaa... I want to save for my tripS


(wake up early tomorrow swee ling.... )

Sensitive - nya me

Sometimes I wonder why am I so sensitive. It doesn't bring any good to me at all. Period.

The Choice

I just realised that I cannot read "emo" book. Reading 'The Choice' by Nicholas Sparks somehow makes me think too much about my life. The emotion is just unbearable that I am not too sure how am I suppose to swallow it down my throat. This overwhelming thought has been clouding my mind for too long, and it's not doing any good to me as I can't seem to concentrate on my work, on the things that I am supposed to do, on almost everything.

How far would you go in the name of love? It's such a subjective question. Beyond that, there are so many issues questioned by Sparks that seem to speak to me since I finished the book.

Even as I was reading it, I feel so sad and confused with my own predicament. Why? Why at this point of time? Is god trying to give me some hints about my life? Urrrghhh.. i just hate it when I am in a state of confusion.

This morning, I decided to read another book so that I can forget about the former. But, I still can't seem to get this feeling out of me. And, it's just too much to bear at this point. At the same time, I am afraid to read another book - I am feeling extremely apprehensive that it will bring me more questions. I don't think I am able to face more questionable things.

Anyway, reading The Choice ...... makes me feel like it's worth taking chances, following your heart, knowing someone for a short period doesn't mean that there isn't any love or future. It's like, your heart always speaks the truth, your mind always tells you otherwise. I find that our heart is such a powerful annotation of what lies beneath our true feelings and emotions. Beyond anything else, our heart sometimes tell us of things that we wish that we do not know. When in times like this, we realised that our heart exerts a certain prerogative power beyond what what we can imagine; and, we as human are afraid to accept it (well, maybe it's only me).

I've always tell my friends that: It's easier to advise people on the next best step to take, on the best solution to a problem and all, but when it comes to our life, we are just as weak as they are. Why is that so? So often, we encourage people to step up, to follow what they think it's right, to do what they think they should, to gain what they think they deserve, but when we are placed on the same spot as them, we are just like them - weak and vulnerable. We are unable to make the next wise step, or even have the courage to follow what our heart and mind dictate us to do.

I don't think I have the same courage as Gabby. Even if I somehow feel like I can, should or need, I wonder whether one day I will.

Coming to an end

It's really amazing thinking about the first day when I started working. Everything seems to be out of placed as I try to push myself to comprehend the amount of work I have every single day. March was absolutely crazy, April was so-so, May is back to square one.

I think I have seem to live up with it, and the thought of my work coming to an end makes me feel sad a little. Nevertheless, I think I am ready to leave. I guess one point that is making me feeling down is the fact that I won't be getting any pay from next month onwards. Cash?! ahahahhaa.. =(

But, I am barely 21. Hence, I think I should not be working my a** off. With the unceasingly staring at the computer and late nights at work, I think I am going to look older than 21.

However, sometimes I question myself whether this is running away from fact of life? Trying to shut the reality out of my system is what I am attempting to do right now. I wish I have the capacity and ability to just buy myself a damn good SLR camera, pack lightly, book tickets, and embark on an adventure of a lifetime.

My boss doesn't mind to take me in as a permenant staff. It's tempting thinking about it because I am thinking and calculating that, if i work 2-3 more years and be a senior account executive, I will be earning about RM2600 - 2800. And, by the time I have 6-7 years more of experience, I can demand a pay of about RM5k - 6k ( I hope). Well, I think with 7 years experience, one can be an account manager and if you are really good, I think one can be an account director. Isn't that pretty good? I mean at that time I'll be like about 28 - 30 years old only. Earning Rm5k - Rm6k seems to be decent. Then and again, that is my own assumption. But, if there's a will, there's a way right, I believe.

Anyway, I am just procrastinating. I have work to do. But, as usual, I am bored of writing things about one client only. It's killing me. I would love to do writings for other clients as well.

Sigh!


Sigh!


Sigh!


I think I am more mature and independent now. However, life has been really hard lately. Maybe it has always been hard, but I managed to suck up and put on a brave face to embrace all that is around me. But, please understand me. I am just like any other people; sometimes, that is as much as I can take and digest!


p/s: Thank you Esther, Cyrus and Miranda for coming over to KLCC to have lunch with me. I am so touched and blessed for having friends like you. I miss all of you so much. Though I know that we do not meet that often anymore, and I can feel like there is a gap between us, I hope we can still be friends like how we used to be. I am being such a kid right now! *hugz tightly* You know, I wanted to hug you all before I leave, but I told myself better not. Because huging you all makes me feel sad. Saying bye is so hard even if it's temporary goodbye. I am so emo right now! -_- *sob*sob*


Back to work!!! =(

I need….

A bowl of magee makes my tummy feel so warm in the inside. Kekeke =)

I hope some inspirations will come…. Time is running out!!!

RECIPE: 4 ESSAYS QUESTIONS

1 tbsp of inspiration
1 tsp of day dreaming
3 pinch of motivation
1 stalk of determination
4 tbsp of energy
1 cup of coffee


Will that be sufficient?

i think it isn't working

as only 1 question is answered

which means that there are 3 more to go...

This makes it an incomplete recipe!

It has been two hours…..

My eyes are still wide-open even though I have to get my butt to the office in the morning…

The clock is not moving any slower and with the rate that my brain is accelerating, I dare not say what time I will be able to get to my bed. Oh, wait! I don't think it's even accelerating, it's more like crawling. I think I shall say 'bye-bye' to my beauty sleep and welcome the morning sunshine with panda eyes … as usual..

I am supposed to write an advertorial, but I only have one sentence on my page as for now. Well, if you actually consider the title of the advertorial as a sentence .. ahahha =)

Thank god someone invented coffee!

Hey there,

I know I have been missing in action for quite some time. And, guess what I was trying to login my old blog but to no avail because I can't remember my login id. The thing is I only have a list of login ids that I constantly recycled, but I've tried everything that I can think of and nothing seems to fit. Weird?!

So, I decided to sms Esther one night to complain about it. Quoted Esther,

"Haha wow see? Ur blog merajuk edi. Haha =)"

And then she continued by saying,

"Maybe god thinks some tots are too private to be shared..? Haha is it a private topic? Tot provoking topic? Ahh mayb it is. Cuz god knows if u blog tot provoking topics u'll make esther cannot sleep"

So, I've decided to start a new blog to keep Esther awake for as long as I can. =)

No, I've decided to start a new blog as a new chapter, a new beginning, a new story.... ahaha this sounds too typical.

Anyway, there are a lot of things/memories/moments that I would like to capture as a remembrance; hence, I've decided to start a new blog as a continuation of my old one.

Sorry, Esther! I know that the old blog was created by you specifically for me so that I can speak my complicated mind out. Sorry that I can't remember my login id anymore. I've tried countless times. I swear! See I retained refined passion as my blog title. kekeke =)

So, cheers! Here's a continuation to my ol' blog.