tombolguid

• I'm worried it won't be as good as I remember it. That I won't fit there the way I remember fitting, that (irrationally) someone will look at me and tell me to get out, I obviously don't belong. (Which, I know I don't, I'm not planning on moving there, but my year abroad meant/means so much to me, to who I am.)


• All of the non-tour details were left up to me to book for my family, so I was in charge of finding/reserving places for us to stay. So I'm worried something will fall through and it'll be my fault, and my job to fix it.

• It's a country, not a bitchy prep school that judges your worth upon entry. It's also not a magical fairy kingdom full of rainbows and unicorns ready to bop you on the head and grant you the next stage of personal growth. It's earth and people and culture, and you'll fit because you're not the terrified 20 year old you were when you went the first time, or even the slightly more sure of herself 21 year old when you came back. You're 25, people entrust small children to you on a daily basis, your self worth is not measured by Scotland but what you learned there, and that's not something that can be taken away.


• It will not be your fault if something goes wrong. You've triple checked it, your mom checked it, and if something does go wrong there will be two other adults (and your useless brother) there to help handle it. Some things--and some days!--are bound to be less fun than others, but they can only spoil the trip if you let it. No thwart hoarding. Deep breaths and count the good things.

• Turns out that piece of tooth or bone I thought was poking out of my gums? Was popcorn husk, which had sliced so far into my gums that they actually closed over it, and it took a week to work itself out. It's also really good I went in because this (in just a week!) had made all of the gums around those back teeth go NOOOOOO and try to start a gingivitis party in my mouth. So $30 (thanks insurance!) got me two x-rays, covered the appointment in full, removed the popcorn husk, and bought me a bottle of prescription Listerine.


• I'm so, so happy that's all it was! Bone spurs are apparently a reoccurring thing and who wants to have a shard of wisdom tooth take eight years to work its way out? No thank you. Suck it anyway, satanic wisdom tooth dentist, I hope you're rotting in hell. :D

Can’t Believe I Never Noticed My Heart Before

author: queenklu
beta by: leupagus
word count: 19+k
rating: NC17
pairing: Tom Hardy/Joseph Gordon-Levitt
summary:
Tom’s heart isn’t on his sleeve. It’s on his wrist, right over the pulse point, blue veins threaded through beneath his skin.

A/n: written for kellifer_fic for last year’s AO3 auction *headdesks forever* Other than slow-build and oblivious boys she let me run where ever my heart desired, and my heart apparently desired nearly 20k of magic realism.

(Title from Noticed by Mutemath)

p.s. right now it is only on AO3, but I can put it on lj if people would like that, I'm just kind of panicked about it right now. SO. LET ME KNOW.

• Do a ghost tour of the prison in Stirling. (I tried once around Halloween and got lost with a friend and missed the tour, and this was doubly shitty because she'd been sick and almost hadn't come in the first place.)


• Go to that haunted bar in Stirling.


• There's a scone and tea place under the old tower and I only found it my last few weeks there--why couldn't I have lived there always?


• Check out Whistlebinkies, if it's still around. Drink cider in the Old Thistle pub next door and see if it still makes your face numb after two pints.


• Go to Doune castle, where they filmed Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I kept talking myself out of it last time because it involved catching a bus I'd never been on and i was terrified I'd be stranded in Doune.


• Walk up the million steps on the big wide close in Edinburgh. Dance on Prince street. Strut down the royal mile. Hope that all the street bagpipists take the time to tune.


• Mary King's close ghost walk was lame, find a better one. You've done the south bridges close tour twice now, miraculously with the same guide. Maybe a haunted pub crawl?


• (p.s. when in london take the jack the ripper tour that canceled on you last minute, the bastards.)


• IF SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING TO YOU, AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, ASK THEM TO SPEAK SLOWLY BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUMB AMERICAN. It's much better than that time you smiled and nodded and ran away from the cute boy who then wound up talking to your mom.


• Be brave. Who gives a fuck if you get lost? I mean, granted, you'll still be traveling with your parents and brother so there's a support system, but you're also a GROWN ASS ADULT, FAR MORE CONFIDENT AND CAPABLE THAN YOU WERE.