hullabalooin'

 I've had this cool idea in my head that whenever i consume a new piece of media (or revisit something i haven't looked into in a while) that i will draw a related character or scene from said media. It's technically manageable cause I don't watch/read/play as many things as i used to BUT

My adhd brain cannot quite make the connection between "i want to do this" and "do this" hence this is just another fantasy about self improment 

It's tough but I think at some point I'm going to have to accept that my ambitions are not attainable, and to set the bar lower. A lot lower...

I've been thinking lately about how much blogging and internet presence has been a part of my life since I was very young and how nostalgic I am for it.

I think I've had my first ever online blog made when I was about 7/8 y.o.? It was about absolutely nothing, I'd post a sentence about having a cool day at school and then ask people for comments.

As I got a bit more e-savvy, I created many other blogs through multiple domains (most of which don't exist anymore!) and they usually had a theme going on - I'd join in on the trends of posting celebrity edits or those glittery gifs. Might've been a bit superficial but it was a really cool pasttime and I actually learnt a bit of photoshop magic through it. I think I made my first online friend then and that was the coolest thing, very exciting to talk to someone who is kinda like you but far away. 00s penpal equivalent, I guess!

I think I then moved on to creating blogs to post bad Naruto fanfiction - there were lots of other people honing their writing skills as well so it was easy to find like minded souls. It was all super immature though, we were using comments as currency and asking each other to comment on a post multiple times just to crunch those numbers. Funny stuff. 

Around the same time DeviantArt was getting pretty big and although it wasn't a blogging website, it was very easy to meet other people and socialise on it - plus the journal entries kinda filled the gap.

Then Tumblr was a thing and oh wow that was the shit, posting was so effortless with reblogs and everything, and boy I made some actual friends there! It was my lil corner on the web where i could hang out with people, look at pretty things and have a moan about whatever bothers me. I've been messing with Tumblr on and off for years but eventually decided to leave it as it was becoming quite toxic and depressing in many circles. Kind of killed off the whole escapism premise.

All those blogs, LiveJournals and so on feel so distant now and I am incredibly nostalgic about them. I guess partially cause I enjoyed being a part of communities but also liked having a little internet treehouse to do whatever in. 


I hope that despite lots of those websites being shut down or alienating the userbase, me and other people can still feel that way someday. :( Here's to chasing the feeling!