it's been two years since i started this miserable blog of mine. i even failed in documenting what i ate.

so why am i here? i'm here to pour out all the bad feeling that i have in my system today.

i feel betrayed. betrayed. BETRAYED.

i don't even know if it's the right word but it's the only thing that consumes my mind as of the moment.

and oh did i miss the chance of typing that i've been here in jersey for 6 months and i'm staying for 6 more?

life has been quite too fast for me. i learned a lot since the beginning of my unexplainable journey here in the states.

i've experienced 2 seasons, i hate winter and i can already tell that i'm going to hate summer. i just simply hate the extremes.

i like balance and it's somehow funny because i'm awful at balancing things, literally.

aghh know what? i'll write another post about my entire experience here one day. but for now, betrayal is what i want to discuss.

we can't fully know a person unless we stay/live with them for an exaggeratedly long period of time.

the result can be positive, but for this specific "friend" of mine, it's negative.

i just hate her so much my fingers curl and it's giving me a hard time to type.

and guess what? she's singing on the upper bunk of the bed where i'm typing noisily.

she's singing and somehow whispering. what is wrong with her? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????

she stole my friends. i read somewhere that "professionals stole, amateurs borrow." i guess she's a pro.

i'm so mad at her. but i can't make her feel it. too much is too much. i can't bear to have more burdens.

so the point is, i can't do anything, but type my feelings away, noisily.

and i believe that typing this far made me somehow better even if i didn't do any justice to this post.

i sowed seeds of different kinds of flowers yesterday and i can't wait for them to show their heads up in the soil and more when they begin to bloom. i need leaves, i want color, i want life. spring, come and engulf me with all your beauty. this dull weather is driving me insane.

this post makes no sense at all.


starting today,

i'm going to document what i eat.

every week.

i'm going to list those i remember.

so this week i had:

2 pieces chicken, rice, a river of gravy

6 pieces mcnuggets, bbq dip

hot cakes, butter, maple syrup

longganisa, garlic rice, egg

beef salpicao, garlic rice

banoffee pie, oreo-brownie cheesecake

creamy chicken pie, potato salad

jolly spaghetti, chicken joy

beef wonton noodles

pocky, chocolate belge, carrot cake

sichuan braised eggplant, tempura, biryani, curry

orange juice, iced tea, pineapple juice, nonfat caramel macchiato

WATER

idk the rest. lol. i fohgot :P


so it's saturday, one of my favorite days of the week.

and guess what? i made cupcakes! 3 dozen of cupppicakes!

it was not difficult and all but the thing is, i tend get too messy when i bake.

i was wondering if i'm going to make a caramel buttercream or just plain chocolate frosting.

since it's difficult to make buttercream, i did the frosting instead.

and it was pretty dang good! nomms ^_^

my mom liked it, though i thought she wouldn't because she never fancied awfully sweet stuff.

she said it wasn't too sweet at all. THUMBS UP!

i also whipped the entire carton of whipping cream because it'll spoil in 3 days.

so the whipped cream is now consuming the entire freezer -_-

well at least we have some ready to use whipped cream to put on our coffees and chocolate.

real and not from the can :>

i also watched julie and julia.

it is so wonderful!

i am now utterly inspired, encouraged and enthusiastic to cook my heart out!

..that didn't sound good. |:

hmmhm.. i'm going to make that boeuf bourguignon SOON!

ohhh i just love this day!

:D


do you know the feeling.

when you like someone.

and you want to give him a clue.

but you're afraid to get rejected .

i have that. now.

NO. i don't want this.

he flirts like a girl.

wtfsndksk does that mean??

he likes me too? OR NOT.

maybe he does the same to the other girls. like me.

boys stink.

.-.


first, i have so many accounts that i don't remember them all.

second, i fail at speling whoreds.

third, my grammar sucks.

fourth, i have a long way to go to reach my dream(s).

fifth, je ne comprends pas francais.

sixth, i want to remember all tekken combos.

seventh, i stay in this room too much.

eighth, i should be baking now.

ninth, i'm fixing my life.

tenth, watch this and you'll be saying nigga all over the place. i want the F-in freeze pops :3

last, this ain't a list so BYE.

xo.


i'm not lazy.

i just don't feel like going.

because,

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

the dentist is a monster.

and i eat monsters.

-.\\


it's always like this.

but i'm not used to everything. YET.

i love love love love (repeat infinitely) uhhhh.

i need to fohhhcuse.

and try not to look at that epic fail window.

okay. you can't understand?

so do i.

HMMMHMM..

39 sleeps before Christmas.

let's stay this way.