The The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage by Brené Brown is an audio course draws from I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly. In it, Brown challenges the idea that vulnerability is a weakness to be hidden. Instead, she highlights how it is in fact the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and the human connection we all crave. By examining the armour we wear (perfectionism, numbing, and the foreboding fear that joy is too good to last) Brown invites us to trade our shields for the courage to show up and be seen, even when there are no guarantees.
Brown highlights a series of ‘guideposts’ to support the journey.
- Cultivating vulnerability and letting go of what people think
- Cultivating self-compassion and letting go of perfectionism
- Letting go of numbing and powerlessness
- Letting go of certainty
- Cultivating creativity and letting go of Comparison
- Cultivating play and rest
- Cultivating calm and stillness and letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle
- Cultivating meaningful work, letting go of self-doubt
- Cultivating laughter, song and dance – letting go of cool
These practices require us to dismantle the “shame gremlins” that whisper we are unworthy of love and belonging. By cultivating authenticity over “fitting in” and choosing self-compassion over the crushing weight of perfectionism, we begin to realise that our imperfections are not inadequacies, but rather what connect us to the rest of humanity. We learn that the opposite of play is not work, but depression, and that true belonging only happens when we present our authentic selves to the world. Ultimately, Brown’s research serves as a call to arms for the ‘spirit’.
Wholehearted people are spiritual people, that is, people who believe that we are connected to one another by something greater than us.
Source: The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown
What resonated with me about Brown’s work is how shame fits with the discussion around work-life balance, in particular I was taken by the importance of play and creativity when it comes to being more vulnerable. I was particular reminded of something Doug Belshaw once wrote:
All of the most awesome people I know have nothing like a work-life ‘balance’. Instead, they work hard, play hard, and tie that to a mission bigger than themselves.
Source: Work-life balance is actually a circle, according to Jeff Bezos by Doug Belshaw
Just as we may say, “I don’t do vulnerable”, it is so easy to say we do not have time for play, creativity and rest. But as Brown captures, this is not an option. As an example of such balance, I am reminded of John Spencer’s discussion of pursuing other interests:
Taking a different approach, John Spencer has his own solution to the personal problem. He and his wife give each other one night a week to pursue other interests. This means going somewhere else, whether it be Starbucks or a microbrewrey, and focusing on something unrelated to teaching.
Source: It Takes a Family – A Reflection on Support Networks that Make Leadership Possible
What challenged me is that non-choices such as numbing or perfectionism are choices in themselves.
You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.
Source: The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown
Also, vulnerability is not something that we can do ourselves, rather it is something that we need to do within a community.
My particular actions are to not say ‘yes’ to everything, I need to embrace Brown’s mantra, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” The question I have about this though is that people then figure out who the person is that does say yes, the weak point. I guess this is why you cannot do vulnerability alone. I also wonder if team-building activities could be made more meaningful if we actively invested in elements of play and creativity, something like Genius Hour, rather than going bowling or getting a coffee?








