rinalin

Arashi hasn't played a large role in my life for a good two years. I've struggled to balance being a full time student, working full time, and struggling to maintain a relationship that was mostly about financial security on the part of my ex.

M and I wrote hours and hours and hours of Arashi fic that we never shared with anyone. It was my driving interest in Arashi when I didn't have time to download and watch their shows. I always found time to write a few lines and send them back to her in an email.

Then she got married and vanished. And so did a lot of my interest. 

When I poke my head back into fandom again now and then-- Much more frequently now that I'm only holding down one job and no fiancee. And by that I mean once every 4 months to once every 4 weeks. 

And today was that 4 weeks.

I feel a sense of shock. Of pain. Of pride. Of inevitability. Of a whole chapter of my life that spanned the past 10 years is closing. 

I want to go to another concert.

I want to walk away and say good riddance. 

I want to write off my time in fandom as a waste. 

I want to dive right back into fanfic.

I want to cry.

I want to binge watch all the things I've missed over the past few years.

I want to act like I'm 36 and not 13 about this.

Most of all, I want the network of Arashi fans that used to be.

So we could work through the grief together.

 

 What. Am. I. Watching?

I thought I downloaded the subbed concert. And it opens with Arashi having a love fest over food.

I am all for this. They should all eat more. And they're adorable little chipmunks. 

Then they're ready to sit down and watch the concert, and I think, this is a weird way to start, but points for creativity.

Okay, here we go!

Only, then the screen splits 9 ways and there are cameras fucking everywhere. There are no cameramen, managers, sound people, nothing. Just them, facing a weird two-way mirror with a bunch of cameras pointed at them.

I have questions.

     1. What the fuck is going on with that wall? Is it a two way mirror? Is it a TV? Is it a hologram?

         What. Is. Happening?!

     2. A running Arashi commentary of their own concert while they gnash on food they picked out themselves with no annoying guests to get in the way of Arashi being Arashi? Yes, please. 

         That wasn't a question technically.

    3. So... is there a subbed version of the full concert somewhere?

    4. Should I pause this and watch the full concert and then come back?

    5. Would I be spoiling the concert for myself by watching this commentary? Or would I enjoy the concert more because I watched the commentary?
  
    6. Is it now too late to sit and watch a 2.5 hour not-quite-a-concert before a super long day, followed by a work Christmas dinner where I've only been employed 3 weeks?

  
 

 

Hello. I'm Rin. I love Arashi. No shame.

I departed the fandom out of necessity when I returned to school full time and got engaged. 

Things happened and now I'm single, graduated and fully employed as a jr software developer. And I have this thing called 'free time' that I don't know what to do with.

I went back to my old Arashi haunts and everyone is gone! All the things are gone! I can't find people or fanfic or subs.

Except Aeslis. <---- and I am so out of practice I can't even remember how to tag you properly.

My lifelong writing partner went and got married and dropped off the face of the earth. And I mean like... we wrote together through four different fandoms over more than 12 years. It's sad and I'm totally not still bitter. At all. That would be silly.

So. Um... *waves*

I'm a lot friendlier than I sound. I swear.

Talk to me about the Arashi things. What was the last news you heard? Funny thing? Good fic? Anything. 

This bit from a while back is solid gold:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x67l8cg




Highly re-watchable. 

I need arashi things. I have been out of the fandom for far too long.

Adulting happened. Unhappened. Happened some more. Still waiting to happen.

I think I'm going to drop some fic bit thingies here and there in here. Just those bits I need to get out of my head and onto paper.

I got Are You Happy? for Xmas this year and it's been on repeat in the car ever since then.

Am I the only one who writes imaginary lyrics to Miles Away where it's all about Arashi's mutual love for Nino. And they all just keep assuring him they're not afraid anymore? And then there's a big vocal orgy at the end?

No one?

Must just be me.

Okay, so I'm lame and refuse to watch Kagi until it's subbed by Stormy. Because they're awesome and I hate only half understanding what's happening.

That said.

I just finished Episode 7. And I have to say that the father's breakdown at the end may be the most moving display of Japanese acting that I've ever seen. I typically find that most J actors sort of overdo it and there's a sense of force behind such scenes because, culturally, displays of intense emotion don't come naturally (correct me if I'm wrong here).

But this guy? I don't even know who he is, but that scene... it really just blew me away.

If I have learned nothing else about myself in my 11 years in one fandom or another, it's that I need constant validation for my writing.

Constant. As in every 10 minutes.

Blech.

Of a side note, I have a brilliant, brilliant idea for a novel. How does one write one of those things and then get it published and then made into an awesome movie starring Summer Glau that makes millions?

Perfect Answer my sweet ass!

How on earth did I get to January 2012 completely BLINDSIDED by the ending of Gantz? Huh?

This seems an impossibility given how much I scrutinize everything Nino related.

Maybe I should congratulate fandom as a whole for being careful about spoilers.

...yeah, no. I think I'd be happier if I'd been prepared.

*sniffles*

Get a new journal, gotta have a new layout!

This, courtesy of nicefinalbeam!!

Isn't it gorgeous?!!!