Good news and bad news.  I got my lab results from the vagina whisperer (My hubby doesn’t like that, but oh well. VAGINA WHISPERER VAGINA WHISPERER VAGINA WHISPERER).  Good news is that I am indeed female.  It took a visit from my OBGYN to confirm that.  Also, all is well with the hormone levels.  Bad news is that it seems that my insulin levels are high.  That doesn’t mean I’m a diabetic since my blood sugars are low to normal, it just means that I’m FAT.  Tell me something I don’t already know.  Ha ha!  I do have to get my butt into gear and get in shape though.  Better shape.  Well, isn’t round a shape?  So after I work all night I might be stopping by the gym and doing some working out.  At least I know that all is well with my hormones and I might not need Clomid to get pregnant.  Oh, and she did say that I had to have sex with my hubby more.  Makes Jeff happy I’m sure. 

No photo of the day, folks.  I don’t really think you want to see a picture of all my belly rolls.  I’ll leave that to your own imagination.

1. I can tie a cherry stem in my mouth.
2. I wet the bed my first grade year.
3. My hair is afrolicious.  I fear humidity.
4. I choked during a 6th grade singing competition.  I forgot the words to "Over the Rainbow" and the judges’ comments were filled with "You look nice tonight."
5. I love show tunes.
6. I love John Travolta almost as much as my husband.
7. My husband was my first.
8. I learned how to speak English in 4 months with Sesame Street.
9. I love Sarah McLachlan.  She saved me during college.
10. I got a reading award in 1st grade not knowing what I was reading.
11. I am a people pleaser.
12. I’ve never done any drugs or smoked a cigarette or marijuana.
13. I’m allergic to every alcohol but vodka.  Guess how I know this.
14. I have always excelled in school but have no common sense.
15. I knew all about sex before experiencing it myself.  The public library is a wealth of information on this subject.
16. Senior Ditch Day was spent playing cards with fellow nerds at a friend’s house.
17. I can carry a tune. Just ask my karaoke machine.
18. I love freshly cleaned sheets.
19. I hate touching food with my hands.  I once ate a Snickers bar with a knife and a fork.
20. I spent lots of time teaching new moms how to breastfeed as a graduate nurse without doing this myself.
21. I pray before I start the car.
22. I know all the words to the Grease soundtrack.
23. I was the tallest girl in my 5th grade class. Five foot zero. Same height as I am now.
24. I like my boobs.  So does my husband.
25. I’m a control freak.
26. I once let in a Jehovah Witness in my parents’ home and spent the afternoon with them.  He came back the next day, knowing everyone’s names.  My dad was furious.
27. I can scrapbook all day and not finish a page.
28. When people ask about my husband’s red hair, I always tell them that yes, the carpets do indeed match the drapes.
29. I am frugal when it comes to myself but can spend lots of money on others. 
30. It takes me 30 minutes to blowdry and straighten my hair.
31. My favorite food is sushi, the cooked kind.  Raw and slimy does not a happy girl make.
32. I almost sewed off my finger during home ec.
33. I once plastered my walls with Ricky Schroeder, Menudo, Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, and Duran Duran.
34. I cannot poop in public restrooms.  I will hold it for a week if I have to.
35. I prefer water over soda.
36. My heart skips a beat when I see my husband walk into a room.
37. My house is a mess but you can eat and drink off the toilets.  Really.  I’m serious.
38. My biggest pet peeve is not following through on your promises.
39. I used to stay up and watch Johnny Carson during elementary school.
40. I’m a Tetris freak.
41. My favorite subject in high school was calculus.
42. I failed my first calculus class in college.
43. My very first car cost $250 and was a Chevy Chevette. She was lovingly called "Rusty."
44. I met my husband in my church choir.  He was the drummer.  Swoon.
45. I’ve had many nursing students practice starting IV’s on my veins.
46. My first patient as a nursing student was a 70 year old man who constantly offered to show us his penile pump.
47. I threw up every morning on my way to school in the first grade.
48. My family never told me that we would be moving to the States to stay.  I thought it was just a big vacation.  They still have not told me when we are going back.
49. I was nearly deported when my Spanish class’s bus almost left without me during a trip to Mexico.  Do I look Latina to you?
50. I am afraid of scissors, steak knives, my Cutterbee.  I don’t like sharp objects.
51. I once embarassed myself in front of my future mother-in-law by loudly announcing I have a fear of big balls flying across my face.
52. I tell people that my father is good looking because I resemble him.
53. I am very Catholic.
54. I hate onions.
55. My most embarassing moment was when I walked out of the staff bathroom with toilet paper hanging out of my scrub pants.
56. I hate going to the vagina whisperer.
57. I pluck the one hair I have on my chin.
58. I used to use a can of Aqua Net hairspray a week in the 1980’s.
59. My favorite candy bar is Whatchamacallit.
60. I can only say dirty words in my native tongue.
61. My sisters and I are forbidden to go to church together because we laugh uncontrollably for no apparent reason.  We are constantly separated by my mother during Mass.
62. I can’t live without Mac Lipglass C-Thru.
63. Red is my favorite color.  Hooker red.
64. I took my mom to see the Thunder from Down Under when she was getting chemotherapy to make her happy.
65. I have more fun dancing at gay clubs since I never get hit on.
66. I am deathly afraid of heights.
67. I’ve never had braces but I need them.
68. I love the smell of warm baby breath.
69. I thought that I had to wipe my dog’s butt when they did their business outside.
70. I am superstitious.
71. I’m not a big fan of rap music.  I much prefer country.
72. I’ve gotten only one speeding ticket in my life.
73. I can eat rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
74. I was on TV once for a local parade in which I was a cheerleader.  Ha!
75. I’ve worn glasses bigger than my whole face.
76. I’ve sung "The Star Spangled Banner" in front of a crowd of 500 people.
77. My mantra as a graduate nurse was, "Lord, let me not kill anyone tonight."
78. I taught my mom how to drive a car right after I got my own license.
79. I never want to disappoint my parents.
80. If I could do my wedding day over again, I would elope.
81. I’ve seen every episode of the Brady Bunch.
82. I watch hockey only for the fights.
83. I’ve never seen "Wizard of Oz," "A Christmas Story," or "Frosty the Snowman."
84. I love to sleep.
85. I hate to cry but I love crying at chick flicks.  I’ve been told to shut up at a movie theater.
86. I only work 3 nights a week.
87. I’ve owned 3 Volkswagens- 2 Jettas and 1 Beetle.
88. I vow never to go back to the Philippines unless I stay in a hotel.  Flushing the toilet by pouring water down the toilet is not what I call fun.  See #37.
89. I am known as the scrap nazi at work.
90. I don’t like taking any medicine but I make my patients take it all the time.
91. I love to feel the pop when starting IVs.
92. I take photos of my friends’ kids so that I can scrapbook them.
93. My pantry is full of Spam and Vienna Sausages courtesy of my mother.
94. I’m a reality TV junkie.
95. I hate confrontation.
96. I’d rather be happy than right.
97. I am a godmother to 1.
98. I am a stepmom to 2.
99. I am a mom to 0.
100. I want to be a mother so badly, I can taste it.

1. It’s always a good idea to find out the location of the place before you show up to the wrong office.  They moved and didn’t tell me.
2. Always have their phone number on hand.  I prefer to add "vagina whisperer" to my contact list on my cell phone.  This way, I know who I’m calling.
3. Although my husband told me to "have fun,"  no amount of psyching myself up I could have done would have made it as such.
4. Always wear socks.
5. Don’t forget to shave.  Your legs.  Oops.
6. I got more action from my OB than I have with my husband the last few days. 
7. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get to know my OB any better.  I prefer to be wined and dined before said action.
8. It doesn’t matter how much I’ve dolled myself up, she won’t remember my hair, my face, or my nails.
9. They prefer that I not take any photos of the experience. 
10. I have graduated to regular sized clamps.  No more petite sized duck bills for me.  Yay, honeymoon.

Now how do I scrap this experience without photos?