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June 28th, 2007
01:38 pm
The police make you pay for the postage on the US citation envelope! How bogus is that?
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June 26th, 2007
01:31 pm - an ode to dean
coming to a head on this the rainy 25th
i experience the entropy for lifelong inertia
human resolve crushed beneath the statistic
how long would it last, this resolve?
failure whitewashed with a million-dollar plan
puss-in-boots, his back will break-
for lack of practice and custom i break;
now washed, i too break back to custom of my own
return uninspired to the back of the class
i adopt blank stares in grave succession
(paint me glazed comatose each morning
a shower that does not rinse but buffets
a calm invisible barrier against responsibility).
"you were my gem, the greatest underachiever"
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June 13th, 2007
11:54 pm
so,
got a call from imperfectionist last night. haven't talked to her in over a year. otherwise, yesterday's wisdom teeth extraction has gone without pains. six flags was that much more enjoyable without swelling and painkillers.
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March 13th, 2007
03:38 pm
jesus christ.
now i know why people get married. its someone to come home to, and someone to love you. i cant stand the thought of living alone after college- can hardly more stand the thought of the people i love living alone after college. after my sister graduates from high school, there will be no one for my mother to live with except my miserable, terrible grandparents. its so depressing. i just cried for an hour. my mom poured me a glass of scotch.
i hate my dad. he's such a bastard. of all possible flaws, why cowardice? why did he have to fall to the same failings as my grandfather and leave us? ten years ago, i thought he was making a sacrifice. now i know that he's just running away. why would you run away from your family? i dont get it. doesnt he ever miss us? ill never do what he did. i need people too much. i dont care what my career ends up being- as long as i can support myself and the people i love, and take time to travel and see the world with them, ill be happy, and i hope they will be too. no galavanting around the globe for years on end, with no end in sight for me. happiness is love, and friends, and its simple, but its certainly not making a million dollars.
i tried pot over the weekend at umass. i like it...bought two grams. just got a pipe today. its kind of weird- it changes the way your brain works. i still see the world through these same two eyes, but its not me looking out of them. i cant explain it. its scary, but its escape.
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February 25th, 2007
06:06 am
oi.
that concert was insane.
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February 10th, 2007
12:58 am - hegemony or humilty
dear uncle sam,
i am tired. i tried writing this letter a few times, so ill be concise- dont write that iran is iraq's largest nuclear weapons supplier in the headlines of the new york times. its bad enough that youve bought the media. its worse that your argument is bad, too. riddle me this: when did iraq have nuclear weapons to begin with? i thought you went in there looking for them and never found them. additionally, why, if youre trying to reestablish some semblance of community among the worlds nations, especially when you badly need to curry favor with china and india, why, uncle sam, use this accusation to go to war with iran and further establish your economic hegemony over the middle east? shouldnt you be trying to better your relations with the iranians? a humble suggestion- end the eighty years conflict, listen to usama bin laden, and remove all western troops and personnel from the arabian peninsula. theres not a whole lot of landmass! why dont you try fixing your own country first, and let the arabian peninsula work out its own problems? if you pulled out, youd be in danger of attack, sure, because theyd want revenge for the multitudinous ways youve fucked them over throughout the years. so try to diplomatically repair relations among your nations.
economic imperialism looks is bad p.r., sir- and i dont want it on my country.
ronawon
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February 9th, 2007
10:04 pm - summer camp two thousand and two
are you fifteen birth control fucker?
such a strange impression on this boy
camped irresponsible in group unimaginable
ill got responsibility married internship
one day i will be like you and understand
tell me meantimes twelve year old penises
and birth control, cigrettes, vaginas
bring me into that field of grass and children
your trusted maturity speaks ironically
of destruction, of pain, of fear
tie me to a tree, burn me out later
and know that it is the defining moment in my life.
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February 8th, 2007
09:10 pm - july two thousand four after death
listen to your voice, is what i really thought
weighing tired heavily on maine impartial wet rock
diffused with the nature of the universe, now
imbued with a spellbinding aura of relgiosity
it is six o clock in the morning, and you
and me sharing this moment of justice eternal
and youve spoilt it ironic with paeans of humility
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November 16th, 2005
02:27 pm
( dayCollapse )
and its not like this is the first time this has ever happened
thousandth variation on a common theme.
ill just be playing piano, studying, reading, and playing video games today, i suppose- things im always glad to do. today was just unfortunate.
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November 14th, 2005
05:41 pm
so,
maybe a month ago or so andy and i decided that we were to go see lulu at phillips-exeter academy on the weekend of nov. 11-12. and that's just what we did.
i had no idea that armistice day would merit a school holiday, but it let me the time to begin preparing for my journey as early as 7.00am. by 9.30, i had left the house, planning to make a 9.48 train- missing it, i drove to boston's north station, and took the downeaster to exeter for but 11 dollars. its a nice train, much nicer than any of the city's rails. think of...an airline cabin, gripping the ground as it flies backwards. that's what it was like.
arriving in exeter, nh., i entered the closest store to be directed to the academy. let me tell you- it's big. really big. and it costs 2k more/year than BU. lulu wasnt out of classes for an hour after my arrival, and so i began to familiarize myself with the environs by means of the admissions office. a map helped...i suppose.
once lulu and i met in the library, things sort of picked up. we toured that great library for an hour or so. she took me to the art galleries and classrooms, the phelps science center, the music center, and the chapel. i was even graced with a private music session. we returned to her dorm afterwards so that she could finish the math homework she needed for the class, which was not so long off. after she dropped me off at the dining hall, i was met by andy and espo. andy knocked my salad onto the ground.
that night we went to a pep rally for the big exeter-andover game the next day. it was fun- an experience not unlike what ive felt at teen camp or boy scout camp; that camraderie one gets from beign allowed to experience the same priveleges as a kind of nation. after listening to a comedian for an hour, we left for a best western inn and fell asleep after an hour or two of watching cartoons.
we met lulu for breakfast at 9.30 or so the next day, concluding at 10.30. by 11.30 we had finished watching the exeter-andover soccer game, and by 12.30 i had left on my own to find a computer terminal by which i could check the departure times of my train. the last hour was spent making our way to the exeter-andover football game- and we all left from there.
my train home ended up being nearly 1.5 hours late, and coupled with the difficulty i always experience in returning home from boston, i didnt make it back until 8.30.
www.exeter.edu www.thedowneaster.com
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