Jesus H. almighty Christ on a Vespa was this evening ever ludicrous.

It is football season on OSU campus! This means that attempting to navigate my way home after work was like traveling against traffic on the pilgrimage to the fucking Mecca!

Which is exactly how they view it, mind you. It is a religious obsession. I was shouted at from a car window for not wearing scarlet and gray. I understand that it is their hobby and they get invested, but perhaps they would like to visit www.giveafuck.com and register their names to win a voucher for one free rat's ass, because I don't seem to have any on hand!

*deep breaths*

Okay, sorry. God. I need a sandwich, a beer, a shower, and a reason not to open my mouth under it and inhale until I mercifully drown.

So. I have an excellent idea for a book. I say "excellent" because A) the idea of writing it brings me great, personal happiness, and because B) frankly, I think it's a publishable idea, which is better than I've been able to say about most of my book ideas to date. This is largely because I am twenty, which is, in the grand scheme of things, still, essentially, childhood, and most of the ideas I've had before this point have been the ideas of a child. I admit readily that this idea may not be any better. But I feel a little better about this one, a little more progressive and forward-thinking and active, and, well...let me tell you a story.

When I was a kid, my parents signed me up for all kinds of activities.

When I was three, I was in a ballet class; I tried to walk home from it every day.

When I was five, I was in a summer camp; I tried to walk home from it every day.

When I was nine, I was in jazz dancing class (and what even is that); I complained every day that I wanted to quit.

When I was eleven, I was on a swim team; I complained every day about wanting to quit.

When I was thirteen, I took yoga, and never wanted to go.

When I was fifteen, I was on the chess team, and never wanted to go.

When I was seventeen, I was in an extracurricular art club, and never wanted to go.

And now, at twenty, I never want to go to work.

But from the time I was as young as I can even remember, I decided I wanted to "make stories". I told my mom that I wanted to "make stories" before I was old enough to even recall my actions. I was making up these stories from the time I was old enough to even know what stringing words together meant.

And it is the only thing I have always, always been happy with.

And you know what? God damn it, I am going to be a writer, because I might be just a kid, and I might fail at keeping up with things, but this is what I do, and no one is going to stop me.

One day, I am going to have books published, and people - even if only a very few people - are going to like them, and even if, even if they don't, I'll have spent my life doing the thing that makes me most happy, even if I have to work a life-long string of terrible, minimum-wage jobs to do it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a book to write.

So, in several places in the world, the government - usually by way of the church - is of the opinion that providing adequate, accessible birth control will bring about widespread sexual immorality.

Something must be pointed out:

People have sex. People will have sex regardless of available contraception, they will do it for fun, they will do it outside of marriage, outside of established relationships, they will do it with strangers, people whose names they do not know, people whose faces they can't see for the semidarkness and drunkenness, they will do it under the most inadvisable of circumstances, they will do it whenever they want, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the night, the will do it with whomever they want, male or female or whatever else, they will do it with any number of people, they will do it in public, they will get arrested for it and do it in prison, they will do it no matter what legislation is leveraged against it and regardless of what the church thinks, or what their parents think, or what their friends think, or what the media tells them, they will do it if it gets them killed or ostracized or beaten or deported. People have sex. They always will. The end.

And the fact that our governments are not providing us with the resources to do it safely?

Is sexual immorality.