It always makes me chuckle inside when someone asks me how wedding planning is going and asks what the “theme” of our wedding is. Now, I’ve seen a few episodes of “Four Weddings,” so I get it. Some people have a “country” themed wedding or the wedding is on a ship so they have a nautical or “under the sea” themed wedding. I’ve also seen some more in-depth themed weddings as well.

Below, here is an example of a themed wedding. In this case… Disney characters?

And this one… not quite sure what the theme is but I think some sort of video game?

And I mean, I guess it’s fun for pictures and it helps to showcase the couple’s personalities and/or interests. But personally, when people do themed weddings, it just sort of makes a joke out of the whole thing. On my wedding day, I want to look like the most beautiful ME I could possibly look like, not Snow White, or Ariel, or a Cowgirl. Let’s save that stuff for October 31.

When people ask what the theme of our wedding is going to be, I always say, “Love,” “Adam and Shannon,” “Adam and Shannon’s start to marriage.”  People of course think I’m being a smartass (shocker!) but I’m really not. I’m just so excited to have a wedding that celebrates us and our love for one another. And everything about the wedding will be themed as “Shannon and Adam.” The centerpieces, place cards, decorations — that stuff will all revolve around things that Adam and I have shared in our relationship. So maybe that is a “theme”?

I just think it’s such a strange question for people to ask of an engaged couple — “what is the theme of your wedding?” — maybe what they really mean to ask is about the color scheme or venue or something else.

Anyway, just a thought that’s been circling my mind lately so I figured I’d write it down.

Later, haters. 🙂

Unless you’ve had to plan a wedding, you probably haven’t put too much thought into the topic of “plus ones,” but since we are in the midst of this wedding madness/bliss, I’ve realized it’s quite a big topic to tackle. One of the first things Adam and I did for the wedding after getting engaged and setting the date was making a rough draft of our guest list. We did this on our 10-hour drive home from Asheville, North Carolina, where one of my best friend’s destination weddings was held (we had a lot of time on our hands).

Although the guest list seemed like a fun thing to get started, it was actually a little stressful. My list consisted of my friends and their significant others, family and significant others, etc. Adam had a similar list for his side, but he had added a “plus one” or a guest for most of his friends. We got in an argument as I explained to him that everyone on our lists was not getting a “plus one” because that would severely increase our guest count. That isn’t even the main reason.

The main reason I don’t like the idea of “plus ones” is because people find someone to bring to the wedding. Could be a friend, a cousin, a brother/sister or could be someone they’re causally dating. But the main point is, this person is random. The “plus one” wasn’t on the guest list themselves because we don’t know them and/or they aren’t in our lives.

I’ve said from the very beginning of this process, that no one will be invited to the wedding that hasn’t met Adam AND me. Weddings, to me, shouldn’t be about introductions, “how long have you two been together,” and “how did you meet.” I want everyone there to know our story, know US, and be there to celebrate our love together.

These “plus ones” don’t know us, they don’t know our story, and they are just there for free food and alcohol. (most of the time.)

Now, of course I’m not saying our friends have to be married or engaged to get an additional person invited. If anyone has a significant other for maybe more than 6 months at the time of invitations mail-out, that probably qualifies. Also, special privileges would be given to those in the wedding party and our siblings.

I’ve been hurt by this before as well. One of my cousins got married a few years ago and invited me on a card with my family. At the time, Adam and I had been together for two and a half years so I was confused when his name wasn’t included. I asked her politely if he was invited to the wedding and she told me that unfortunately he was not because she was working with a budget and couldn’t have him. -_-

This hurt because 1.) we had been together for so long already and my family knew this wasn’t a flavor-of-the-week type thing. He was the real deal and we’d be together for the long haul. 2.) None of the other cousins had significant others at the time so it wasn’t like “Oh, well if we invite him, we’ll have to invite 12 more people too.” He was literally one person.

To this day, I’m sad he wasn’t there to celebrate the wedding with me and my family. That’s why this whole topic is such a “conundrum.” A lot of thought goes into every piece of a wedding and like I said, until you plan one, you probably have no idea.

Anyone have any advice and/or horror stories on this topic? I’d love to hear it all!

xoxo Bride-to-be,

Shannon

In January, an 81-year-old woman was sentenced to ‘no jail time’ after she killed a 13-year-old boy and fled the scene in her car.  Although her defense was that she was prescribed the wrong kind of medication (a muscle relaxer), I cannot get over the fact that this woman killed someone– left a family without their little boy– and she’s not serving time for it.  She did get her license suspended for life and 5 years of probation and house arrest, and also has to pay the boy’s family a large sum of money for restitution, but still this just doesn’t seem fair to me.  Why should she get off light because she’s older?  Yes, she’s adorable, but not only did she hit this boy with her car, but she did not stop to help, and went to get repairs done a few days later (so she obviously knew something had happened).

If you want to read the story for yourself, here it is: http://fox8.com/2013/01/14/woman-81-gets-probation-in-deadly-hit-and-run/

I think the reason this story struck such a nerve with me is because I’ve had something like this happen in my life not too long ago.

Just over a year ago, as we were all saying hello to 2012, my grandmother was walking to her car in a Giant Eagle parking lot when an 80-something year-old man backed up and hit her.  She fell down, of course, fractured her skull, and was in the hospital for MONTHS.  I didn’t know what to do.  I’d never been through an experience like that before.  My family has always been happy, healthy, and steered clear of the hospital.  But now, that had become our second home.  For the first week, Grandma was in ICU, completely unresponsive.  She was breathing, but besides that, we had no idea if she would be okay.  When she started to open her eyes, she couldn’t talk much, and it didn’t seem like she recognized anyone.

I know so many families experience their loved ones suffering for Alzheimer’s, but I thought, “God, no.  Please not Grandma.  She is the sweetest, most out-going, and caring older person that I know.  She loves shopping and being social with her friends.  This can’t be happening.”

A few weeks later, Grandma made it to another hospital where she went through therapy everyday.  Therapy to exercise both her physical and mental skills.  She still didn’t seem back to normal though.  She didn’t know where I went to college– and I had just graduated after being at Mount Union for three and half years, and she couldn’t remember the name of my boyfriend, who I had been dating for three years and she had met hundreds of times.  Two of the most important things in my life, and Grandma’s memory of them wasn’t there.

I told myself to push those things out of my mind, because really, all I wanted for her was a recovery- a fast one, in which she could finally get out of the hospital and go home to my Grandpa, who was devastated over the situation as well.

As I said, a few months later, she finally went home but things weren’t “back to normal.”  She had a physical therapist come to their house to work with her every few days and she had a ton of medications to take.  To this day, things aren’t the same.  There’s days she gets confused and she’s had so many random medical issues pop up since the accident.

How did this man that hit my grandma get punished?  He didn’t.  Or at least not to me- he was charged with some misdemeanor because she wasn’t killed.  And the witnesses who said they saw my grandma get hit were thrown out because the police said, “From where they claim they were standing, they couldn’t have seen the accident happen.”  WHAT?!?! Who would lie about that?  What benefit would they get out of lying???  Ugh, that made me so mad.

Anyway, the point of this long, rambling rant of a blog post, is that people should be charged equally for their crimes committed.  Period.  I don’t care how old you are.  I don’t care what you were on when it happened.  If you hit someone with your car, and a family was changed forever, you deserve the punishment.  Thank God we still have my Grandma.  I would have hunted down that old man and punished him myself had she not recovered.

Laws need to be changed.  The elderly NEED to be re-tested for driving tests.  Hell, we could all use a test every four years.  There’s 30-year-olds out there that can’t drive.  I propose that after your first license when you turn 16, a drivers test every other license.  That’s every eight years. And, when you turn 65 (and are considered a senior citizen), you should be re-tested every 4 years.  That wouldn’t be too much to ask, right?

The internet is fascinating, And scary. I love that you can shop without leaving your home (I did that last night) and I love that you can share things with people across the world in an instant. It’s awesome that people can even start and run businesses completely online without spending any money on advertisements.

The thing that scares me- and this is nothing new- is the relationships people create and continue online.  The fact that people meet online doesn’t scare me,  it’s the part where these people talk online for a one, two, or ten years before ever even meeting each other in person.

Yes, I’ve been watching the new show on MTV, Catfish. I haven’t seen the documentary, Catfish, that started this chain of shows, but the host of the tv show is also the main character in the documentary.  Basically, his story was that he met and really liked this girl he met online and when he finally decided to meet her, she turned out not to be blonde, skinny, and tan, like her profile picture on Facebook led him to believe, but rather she was brunette, overweight, and well, not what he expected.

With his lesson learned, he’s now traveling across the country to meet with other people going through similar situations and connect them with the other side of their “online relationships.”  I think I’ve caught most of the episodes so far, and I have yet to see an episode where the person on the other side really is who they say they are.

I watched two episodes tonight and the first one was similar to the host’s story.  This guy thought he was talking to this blonde barbie doll looking girl and the girl actually ending up being a dark-haired, glasses-wearing, overweight young woman with self-esteem issues.  She said she led him on to believe she was this other person for TWO years because she liked the feeling that guys actually were interested in her.  That makes me so sad to hear because ultimately, these guys that were “interested in her,” weren’t really interested in her… they liked the blonde, skinny girl in the photos.  Once the girl and the guy were connected, of course the guy was confused and a little upset, but they actually ended up being friends.

The next episode was about a black girl who had found this gorgeous, black modeling agent on Facebook and they’d been talking online for over two years.  Not on the phone, and never in person, although “he only lived 15 minutes away.”  Bizarre, right?  I think my problem with this is how naive these people are.  How can you think that’s okay to instant message someone for over two years and never see them?!  And it’s not even like these were just friendly conversations.  They got personal, told each other that they loved one another, and even changed their relationship statuses on Facebook to reflect that they were together.  At the end of this episode, we find out that the guy she had been talking to was another black girl, who had been pretending to be this guy for two years to GET REVENGE.  Well that definitely explaisns why they never met or talked on the phone.   This situation made me sad thinking about all the time they had both wasted.  The one girl thought she had really made a connection and was starting something long-term with this guy who didn’t exist, and the other one committed to spending how many hours a day to break someone’s heart.

I’m defintely a skeptic when it comes to most things in life, and that may be why this show blows my mind.  I just can’t wrap my mind around the time and passion these people put into relationships that they can’t even confirm is with a real person.  Adam and I started our relationship texting and moved onto talking on the phone about a month later.  However, I had found out about him through a friend and had seen many pictures online… I knew what I was getting myself into 🙂

Online dating may be a good thing, but I think the talking on the phone/video chatting needs to happen sooner.  Do it in stages if that’s easiest: talking online, text messaging, phone calls, video messaging and finally meeting in person.  That way you know you’re not going to meet up with your fantasy guy and have it be a 70-year-old grandfather with three teeth (unless of course that is your fantasy man :)).

Moral of the story?  Be who you are. Don’t bully people online because you think you’re tougher than you really are, and don’t try to get someone to like you by pretending you’re someone else.  In the end, you and the person on the other side, will probably just end up more hurt than you were to begin with.  If people don’t like you for who you are, they’re not meant to be in your life.

If you are one of my Twitter followers, you probably are already aware that I am experiencing the power outage that many in Northeast Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey are currently experiencing due to Hurricane Sandy and “Frankenstorm.”  Our power went out at 6 p.m. Monday night and has yet to return.  Although living in the so-called “dark ages” may sound awful, I’ve found both pros and cons to this unexpected situation.

Cons

• Can’t open the fridge or freezer to access our food and/or drinks.
• Max can’t have his canned food that’s in the fridge. 😦 poor nugget.
• Can’t do my laundry that is piling up in my hamper.
• Getting dressed/showering/doing makeup in the dark.
• Spending more money by dining out.
• No wifi in our home.
• Less time watching my reality TV shows.
• My ice cream is melting.

Pros

• More time to read.
• More time to clean (while there’s still daylight).
• More excuses to cuddle with both my cats and my man.  😉
• More excuses to burn candles that make the house smell wonderful.
• Less time watching my reality TV shows. (yes, I’m aware this one made both lists)
• Less snacking/eating ice cream.
• It’s a talking point with those who I encounter on a daily basis.
• More excuses to get out into the city to use our resources (library, coffee shops, any outlets that we can find while dining at a restaurant or having a drink at the bar)

In a way, this whole power outage thing is making me feel very calm.  A power outage is a perfect reality check to make you recognize the things that you have and use everyday that you make take for granted.  Things such as wifi, charging your phone, watching TV, flicking on a light as you walk into the room, showering with the light on, and frozen ice cream on demand.

On the flipside, it’s got my nerves going a thousand miles a minute because I am thinking about all the things I could be doing with the electricity on.

No one is quite sure when the power will come back.  Some are saying Saturday.  Let’s hope it’s sooner than that.  All I can say is, if this is what I have to deal with in this storm, I feel blessed.  So many people right now are missing family members, animals, and pieces of their homes.  Many have seen trees crash down on their cars and homes.  My heart goes out to all of those and I hope that everything gets back to normal very soon.

The job search is such a strange thing.  Really.  You design your resume, update it whenever something changes, search job sites on a daily basis, write cover letters for the jobs you see as a fit for you, send them out as soon as you can to make sure they don’t hire someone else first…. and then…. ??

That’s the thing that is so frustrating about the job search.. It seems to be a black hole sometimes. You never know if people on the other end get your resume…if they get it, do they read it?  If they read it, do they care?

And don’t tell me to follow up.  I do.  I follow up all the time to these companies that I have sent my resume to.  I never hear back… I try calling, and I get voicemail. Next step- knock on their office doors?

I have so much passion and am ready to get into this crazy, amazing world of working and making things happen.  Other people in the field may be tired, just going through the motions.  I’m ready to come into the company and hit the ground running.  I want to show everyone how much I can do.

A random twitter follower recently tweeted to me that it doesn’t matter what I did in college- that I have no experience if I’m just coming out of college. I’m sorry sir, but I strongly disagree.  I have had so many internships that have taught me more than some people 15+ years in the field know.  I made history at my university- I became the first student to ever win two Associated Press awards.

How many other students can say that?

I’m sorry if this is sounding like I’m conceited. It’s not intended to. I just really believe in myself and the things that I’ve done and can do.  And I don’t understand why companies can’t see that.

Any advice from those of you out in the field?  What can I do differently?   Start knocking on people’s doors?  And that’s the thing too- I’m not desperate for a JOB- I have a full-time job now waitressing.  What I’m looking for is a career.  I’m not like many other students I just graduated with who are jumping at the first “job” they get offered because they want to brag about a full-time gig.  This is for me. I want to be happy doing what I love and bring to a company the passion, experience and energy that I own.

To the big, crazy world out there… send me your advice, positive thoughts, and job leads. I’d love for someone to finally recognize me for who I am, what I’ve done and what I can do for their company.

The name of this blog was changed from ” The Rambling of a College Student” to “Kaleidoscope” in February 2012.  I was driving back home from my parents house and I discovered that that title would describe this blog as well as my life quite perfectly.

ka·lei·do·scope

I feel that throughout my life, I have evolved due to changing environments, various people I’ve come across, skills I have acquired, placed I have traveled to and things I have experienced.  None of these times, people or places were necessarily better than one another; just a change.  Beautiful colors mixing together and creating something amazing.

That is what this blog symbolizes. You won’t come here to read solely about my love for running, or for information about my personal life, or for my strong opinions on certain topics, or for my advice on things to and not to do in the real world.  However, you will come here to find it all.

My life has never been a bore.  And I intend to keep it that way.

Read on.