Was reading a fic and laughed out loud at it.

Am delighting myself writing Dollshops & Deathmages. I'm halfway done and happy with how it's shaping up.

Had an excellent peach kombucha to drink.

Have the house to myself for a glorious while, because my relatives are travelling.

Am enjoying a k-drama tremendously. Undercover Miss Hong. It's halfway aired, let's hope the rest of it is just as good. (You know those silly Hollywood action movies where there's a guy doing some kind of secret operation, and women who are in the narrative all have crushes on him, and he's too busy doing Important Stuff to notice? Imagine if it was the heroine doing stuff too Secret and Important to pay much mind to the men growing feelings for her, and you have Undercover Miss Hong. Trust k-drama to make something assuming *I* am watching the way other media industries make things assuming men are watching. And it features strong female friendships!)

Three out of the five things I have put down here are related to stories. 역시, whenever I'm happy, stories are usually at the heart of my happiness.

When did you last . . .

1. Scrounge for change (couch, ashtray, etc.) to make a purchase?

2. Visit a dentist?

3. Make a needed change to your life?

4. Decide on a complete menu well in advance of the evening meal?

5. Spend part of the day (other than daily hygiene) totally/mostly naked?

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!

We've had a very persistent winter here this year and this has happily meant that I've had lots of visitors at my bird feeders. Today I had the opportunity to photograph this adorable little Long-Tailed Tit (Aegithalos caudatus caudatus) while it was hunting for seeds on the bike-shed roof just outside my window.

Click to enlarge:


( one more photo... )

The first crocuses are blooming! I just had to take pictures when I spotted them this morning. Yesterday they were just buds.

( Walk with me ... )

I only went to one day of Katsucon, but omg it was fantastic this year!!!!! Alex was house/catsitting for her sister for the weekend, and since her sister lives near DC, it was closer than our place. Sooooo Liz and I headed there Friday night, grabbed a very late dinner at McDonald's with Alex, and then watched a bunch of enstars videos on youtube so Alex was ready to be excited for Absolute uwu

Also, she gifted me an adorable new friend, who goes absolutely perfectly with my CNstars cat nuis ;w; I also made them ice cream cones to match Madara's global exclusive card, and I think they came out really good ♥


if anything happens to my tutulong I'll just fucking die lmao
.....and then I stayed up waaaaaay too late because I'm fucking nocturnal D: Even though we had to wake up at 7 am to drive down early enough to get parking....I'm not smart :T

Liz and I didn't cosplay this year, cuz I didn't feel up to it, so I wore...a wig, a corset, and a floor length skirt XD wig is my Mayoi wig that I haven't styled yet - I pulled it out of the bag on Friday night and was delighted to discover that it's a lacefront - and the skirt is one I made for the Vampire Ball Liz and I went to in 2017. This did end up biting me in the ass because the corset ended up not sitting super well by the end of the night D: But we'll get to that later~

First thoughts on this year's katsu: holy shit I didn't realize how bad lobbyconning had gotten. I could actually move through the halls without be crushed by crowds????? Like, I was there on Saturday and I didn't feel cramped every second of the day. They did move registration to its own building, which freed up space to give Artist Alley a larger location, but still. It was really nice to be able to breathe during the con.

After getting our badges, we ran into some friends of Alex and Liz that they hadn't seen in over a decade, so everyone had a good time catching up. Which is, tbh, a classic Katsucon experience, since so damn many people go.

The first programming we went to was an absolutely delightful performance by Special for Princess!- or should I say Nice? XD Nice Arneb Thunder was MCing and they did a fucking incredible job. like. not to spoil it or anything, but this was such a highlight of my day, idk if anything topped it :0

Also, the esupuri group was just really sweet!!! They seemed so excited and a little surprised that so many people had come out to see them ;w; But seriously, they were quite good and did a good combination of songs and games. The trivia was great for me and Liz, since we actually keep current with the JP stories~ Liz won a tiara for answering some 4piece trivia correctly!

We hit up the Artist Alley for a bit after that, got lost in conversation with a Nagisa cosplayer who usually cosplays Double Face Kohaku, and I was blown away by their gorgeous ita bag. They had so many can badges from the DF TRIP album *w*

....and then we remembered we woke up balls early and Liz & I hadn't eaten :T So after debating a few options, we made our way to our tried and true katsu food: Mezeh. They opened sometime between katsu 2017 and 2018, and we've gone basically every year since. It's affordable and actually filling, especially since they have fresh veggies. Sometimes you gotta get some greens in you- especially at a con!!!

not me sounding like an ad read for my favorite fast casual restaurant lmao

The dealers room is a bit of a blur to me because it's soooooo big and there's so much to see, but I remember it being.....fun? Busy? It was probably one of the more cramped places at the con, but that was partially because some people are just rude. Many people shoving their way through...I didn't come with much money cuz it was a last minute decision to even go, so I wasn't sure about buying anything besides maybe something small from the idol goods booth. But since the idol goods booth wasn't there this year (?????), I ended up getting a new ita bag~


I'd seen it around on insta and lusted over it, so now it is mine!! I'm planning something around Double Face's TRIP album for it OwO
And then we had to hustle to finish artist alley before it closed, cuz we weren't coming back on Sunday D: Liz and I weren't planning on spending any more money, but 1) Alex wanted to buy more stuff and 2) we still wanted to see all of it. And in the end we did buy more XD We got a few more Trigun charms from magpiesoddities, because we've been collecting their super chibi ones since Stampede came out~ They also gave us a free plantcest sticker for being men of culture (perverts).

uhhhhhh what did we do after that..............

OH RIGHT!!! Liz and I chilled on a bench sorta new the dealers room/artist alley area while Alex went to the MXTX photoshoot, and basically just took in the sights. I love people watching at cons :D We also got to help some youths (late teens/early 20s maybe?) learn the ways of Caramelldansen. They knew the dance and song, and it sounded like they'd heard people used to dance to it at cons? So they were trying to figure out how to bring it back. So while it was a conversation that made me feel very old, it was quite wholesome.

After debating back and forth a bunch, we ended up eating dinner at the grab and go place in the Gaylord. It wasn't necessarily "cheap" but like...nothing in National Harbor is, you know? And we didn't have to leave the building, which was a big plus. I'd never grabbed anything from there before, so now I know that it's not half bad.

We wanted to go to the video game room next, but my corset was fucking killing me and I needed to find a family bathroom so Liz could help me loosen it (since all the handicapped stalls in the Gaylord are barely wider than regular ones). So that was quite the fucking adventure. BUT WE EVENTUALLY DID IT. And I've learned I'm never wearing a floor length anything to Katsucon again.....idk how I forgot this lesson from 2017 lmao.

Next up: video game room! And..............it kinda fucking sucked??????? Lie, the games were brought from the same people who supply them for a video game bar I go to here in Baltimore, and usually it's a much better selection?? Like how did Anime USA, a significantly smaller con than Katsucon, have such a better video game room? idk man like......it was kinda disappointing. They didn't even have Chunithm ;w; And it closed at midnight, which is baffling. Katsu used to run sooooo late into the night, I swear it was originally a 24 hour con. Maybe I'm wrong? But I've been going for 17 years now, so I'm pretty sure I'm right :T

Whatever! Alex is gonna come down so we can go to the much better video game bar here~

After we watch cookie monster and godzilla have a cage match in the hall, we were all wiped and ready to head home. So lemme share all the pics I didn't include throughout the entry, cuz it would have ended up even longer :T

( welcome to the party (many katsu pics inside) )

Happy Valentines and goodnight from the boys!!!! I carried many nuis around all day but tbh it was such a rush that I barely took the time to sit, let alone take pics of them D: I will say that the cat kigu nuis with their ice cream cones were a hit with the many Double Face fans and cosplayers I ran into~
All in all, a successful day at the con!!!!! Hopefully finances will be better and I can go for the full weekend next year, but I can now say I've been going to katsu for 17 fucking years.....which is wild. Here's hoping the next 17 are even better!!!!!!

My anger was defined as a monster
The only reason it knew it wasn't human
Was because people told it so

My anger was classified as a monster
It had black eyes that could turn red
And a large mouth that could scream loud
And gobble you up (if that was allowed)

My anger should have worn a cape
It always showed up right when it was needed
But capes were reserved for humans and superhumans

I don't think my anger can be satiated
If it was allowed to gobble you up
It would still sit and scowl at your bones until they disintegrated

Maybe that's why they decided it was a monster
The monsters on TV rampage and devour entire populations
And my anger is capable of eating humanity itself

Yesterday I shared photos from the House Yard and South Lot plus Savanna and Prairie Garden. Today I did a bit of yardwork that revealed fun new things. :D

( Walk with me ... )

Even though I orphaned my last fic, I have been monitoring feedback, and likely will continue to do so for a few more days, simply because it helps me gauge reader reaction. So far, the fic has received two comments, both of which came from readers who apparently enjoyed it, and this has led me to a realization: my opinion on my own work is not an accurate reflection of its general quality. I have always held myself and my work to a higher standard than I demand of others, and I think part of that has to do with my own ego. While I know I'll never create a Masterpiece, I can't accept creating anything that falls short of that -- if you guessed that this mindset means I'm dissatisfied with a lot of my output, you'd be correct. But readers, myself included, are not looking for masterpieces; we just want coherent, enjoyable stories to read, and I can deliver that, at least.

So no, I don't regret orphaning this particular fic, but I am encouraged by the reaction to it. I don't have to always bring my A-game, so to speak, to make something other people can enjoy. Knowing this, perhaps I have been putting way too much pressure on myself, especially in regard to original fic. Maybe it's time to dust those little story ideas off and give them a fair chance.

I'm participating in a cozy fantasy anthology with several other cozy fantasy authors from the FaRo discord. It's kept me writing throughout the whole rigmarole with Amazon and Wise, and since the deadline is approaching, I'm prioritising it over drafting the rest of Project Fang/Bloodhunt Academy. My contribution to the anthology is titled Dollshops & Deathmages. If it sounds spooky-cute, it sounds about right!

My colleagues at the FaRo discord are also helping me figure out how to get Amazon to behave. They say going wide is a separate matter. That I shouldn't have to have a distributor like D2D take a cut from my Amazon royalties if I can help it, since I'm already facing Amazon's retailer cut and Wise's conversion+payment processing cut. Most wide authors go direct to the big retailers like Amazon and Kobo because the bulk of their income is made there and you don't want more cuts on that income than you can help. They use D2D to distribute to Smashwords, libraries and smaller retailers, when uploading directly to another platform is more trouble than it's worth.

I do think this experience has put me off KU. I initially decided on KU after I was laid off, and that decision made me feel less insecure at the time. Not anymore, though. Now I feel more insecure putting my eggs in one basket because the basket has flaws. Guess I'm going wide, although I've yet to plan exactly what that will look like.

In other news, I tried out Fika as an alternative to Substack for my author newsletter. So far it's promising but lacking in some features I can't do without. I have less than a 100 subscribers now, but once the cozy fantasy anthology launches, it's going to be used as a newsletter magnet and I'll have to keep signups more organised. Fika doesn't show you which of your subscribers do and don't open your emails, nor does it show you how many opens a specific newsletter you sent out got (only your overall open rate). That won't help me trim inactive subcribers, and it's kind of important to do that so email services know I'm not spam. The technical term is sender's reputation. Substack shows me individual subscriber opens and clicks, plus stats per post, which will become necessary once I have a load of signups from people who wanted the anthology but don't necessarily want to stick around for news of what I'm writing next.

Last time, I asked for email service recommendations and switched to Tuta. It's great, and has made checking my email feel less anxious because no ads or clutter. Thanks to everyone who recommended it, yarnofariadne and octahedrite off the top of my head.

This time I would love your recommendations for newsletter services or Substack alternatives. Ease of use and economy are the main things, because I can't pay for a newsletter service. Perhaps it makes it easier that I don't need advanced features like list segmentation and so on. Mostly, I just need a welcome email that is sent to all incoming subscribers, individual subsciber stats, and good deliverability (don't want to end up in spam). Ideally would let me have a subscriber count of 1000 or so without having to pay a monthly fee, because I foresee quite a jump in subscribers once the anthology is out. (And ideally wouldn't be expensive in case I crossed the free range. Saw Ghost.org's pricing and balked.)

I'm okay with continuing with Substack in the absence of anything else that fits. I'm not going to monetise it, so it isn't going to benefit the shady guys at the top. But it's not ideal, given the shady guys at the top. And there are readers who don't want to touch Substack with a ten-foot pole.

Hence, I'm asking for recommendations! I think there might be something out there that I just haven't heard of.

These are the rest of the pictures I took today, from the savanna and prairie garden. (See the House Yard and South Lot.)

( Walk with me ... )

This post is a day late because I spent the 15th hung over! I'm off work today but I work the rest of this week AND 38 hours next week, so let's get this post over with while it's still morning...

My brain is all over the place so I need to just compile notes. I'm trying to be in order of events, but this is also going on a tangent.

• FAMOUSLY, Harmonycon 2026 is probably going to go down as the convention Chris Chan was kicked out of. This info was completely sprung on me, I was standing in line for over an hour to get Tabitha St. Germain's autograph. Someone next to us showed us footage of him getting escorted out of the building... And another video circulated of the con owner trying to take the phones of people recording the incident, holy shit.
• I got mixed signals from this con in general. One of the first things I saw was a small Anonfilly plush suspended by balloons. It's very difficult to separate G4 from it's 4chan roots but this con was a smidge chuddier than I expected at certain moments. On Saturday there was an anon meetup. Literally. A bunch of men were wearing green masks and congregated in the lobby outside the game room, and they were chanting shit like "MARES! MARES! MARES!" and "BRING BACK CHRISTINE!" after the incident on Friday. Very surreal to see. There's photos, including one I took, but I wish I recorded the latter chant.
• I also suspect that uh, one of these anons drew the SS runes in the communal sketchbook. I ripped it out before I left.... for fuck's sake......
• I grabbed a lot of stickers and business cards as usual. I um, found a very cursed button from Mare Fair that I feel like I'll be put on a watchlist for having. And a highlight on Friday was a card for therapy and marriage counselling for bronies. Very cool!
• Mare Fair came up often... I'm honestly not sure what to think about it, because the shit I've seen online differs from the anecdotal things I've been told. But there was a small pocket of /mlp/ users here among the 1600+ attendees. I'm morbidly curious about it despite the rancid things I've read, but I can't leave DFW anytime soon even for a weekend. On top of the extremely cursed button I found, I have an Anonfilly magnet on the fridge now and... Some Mare Fair 2025 bottled scent from Snowpity? It actually smells decent...
• My autograph from Tabitha St. Germain was worth it, but I can't take a photo because she used a silver sharpie for it :( So a scan will come one day. I literally missed 2 panels waiting in line for it!
• The Hyatt is, as usual, very hideously expensive for vending. I use my credit card for food but most of the money I spent was using my credit card. My lunch and dinner on Friday were decent, as were the martinis I got at the bar, but holy shit. I got very tired before 9PM on Friday and couldn't make it to the 18+ panels that night, so I drank more caffeine the next day. The cost for sodas and energy drinks are complete robbery. $6.50 for a fucking Celsius when $6 can get you 3 cans. The only decently priced deal was my dinner on Saturday, which was $15 for a grilled chicken sandwich, small bag of chips that's normally $4, a soda, and a free tumbler with Dallas on it. The prices made me so mad that I grabbed another Celsius for my soda...
• One of the first panels I went to was about making friends at conventions... I am still struggling with this. So many interactions kind of end when we leave, and these spaces have up to a thousand or several hundred people at the minimum!!! On the other hand, I haven't been to a multi-day con since August, so I forgot that people aren't going to post on social media until after they go home and the con ends. I'm slowly scouting people on social media, but unlocking my Twitter makes me want to kill myself... :( :(
• Running a panel must be fun if you're extremely autistic. On Friday I was at 80% of a panel that was basically "G5 Is Good, Actually" and you know what? I might try to give it a second chance... I knew it was unfinished, but not that executive meddling is why it's so awkward to watch :( The movie is insane, I didn't like the Netflix show, I could see the Youtube show and comics...
• Saw a preview of episode 2 of the Fallout Equestria animated adaption. I was very tired so I don't have much to say about it.
• Kind of fucked up but I saw a dead body on the way home on Friday night... There was traffic on the highway which is weird because going home is usually pretty fast, but people were rubbernecking an accident. It was so bad there were 2 ambulances and then I saw a body being covered by a blanket. And I told the Uber driver this is so fucking disrespectful to rubberneck someone dying. It made me hyperaware of my mortality for a moment and really sad
• It was raining so hard on Valentine's day. I flipped my shit for not going in earlier, but it was fine when I came in around 12-1PM. One of the first things I did was grab an espresso cocktail and barely got drunk off it. The bar was playing "I Turn My Camera On" by Spoon which was sadly fitting... Unintentionally framed the rest of the day.
• I forgot to mention I had stickers printed of my art and a carrd as a test run. People seem to like it, but I don't know how many followed the link. I have less than 20 stickers left, I have 100 of a different design on the way though...
• I am not familiar with ANY of the musicians, so I couldn't go to the concerts that were the same time as other panels. I did attend Koa's music panel and it was actually really cool, I already knew about how music parodies or samples other songs but I heard a preview of the upcoming album and it's SOOOOO GOOD.
• I missed the Transformers panel :(
• Um... The big thing is I attended my first room party! I skipped the ones I saw advertised at TFF/TFS because I thought they were just fucking, but when I was charging my phone an older dude said it was just drinking and talking...
• I never heard of Neighcon until now and I realized that this party was full of 4channers. And I found a 4chan post saying the party had the cops called on them Friday night, so I HAD to see this. It wasn't bad and I don't regret it, but it was a very very surreal experience to eat tendies, drink, and watch stupid videos (and later terrible) with /mlp/ people. I kind of realized that maybe room parties are where the magic happens.
• I went to the party a bit after 8PM, then I left around 9PM for the Trade Ya! panel. Since after I went to TFF last year I found out how much I love these events to give away and trade merchandise. Good news: I offloaded nearly everything I brought, which is good because I had no hotel room and was carrying a bag for 8 hours. However when the panel was ending I got really desperate and just announced that KIDS GET SOMETHING FREE. I gave a little girl one bait-quality G1, then I had another lament being 18, and two others were like "I'm 15, does that count?" Yes. Please take this shit away from me. I got Star Catcher, a G1 I forgot the name of, and some official Rarity merch. And a weird official figure of a strangely feminine Big Mac I want to mod, but the hair sucks...
• After the Trade Ya! panel, I went back to the party and that's when it got cursed lol. But someone promised to bring G2 Ivy for me next year, I just need to assemble some good merch to trade for her...

I'm considering giving access to people and making a locked post about the room party, this was simultaneously crazy and mundane.

When I finished my last post the tadpoles were 3 weeks old and about to go from their nursery tub into the pond. It's actually more of a water feature than a pod - it's a fairly small 2 level fibreglass set up with fake rock texture, a pump and 2 potted water plants that could only vaguely be said to thrive. It also has a predator occasionally drop by.


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Final tally for The Story That Refused to Be (But Eventually Was) - 7,842 words

Only around 4.2k of that actually became the story. The rest came from drafts and false starts, but hey, words are words, and that's a little more than 10% of my GYWO goal right there! \o/

In the end, I decided to orphan the fic because I didn't care for it, but I am heartened to see that my recipient did, in fact, like it. :)

SO. I can't write my con post right now because i'm hung over from harmonycon. That will happen when it happens. I requested 4 days off from work so i can attend all 3 days, but i didn't come home until 2am because my sister rescued me. But 4 days will help since i am running on 3 hours of sleep, alternating between laying in bed and vomiting twice.

The room party wasn't even crazy, there was just free alcohol that i shouldn't have taken advantage of. No more than 3 shots next time. I can't even measure how much i drank, i just drank until i got drunk and i get drunk easy. This ain't it, chief.

The internet feels quieter right now, maybe because the con is still going. Most bluesky posts are by me. It's kind of sad. I still struggle with keeping contacts after the moment ends but i will hunt down some names online when this hangover passes.

Happy Valentine's Day!♥ I planned to post these earlier but I wasn't able to finish them until today. It's taking me longer because of eyestrain. Sorry I didn't get them out earlier, but at least these are the type of icon you can use any day of the year! Enjoy. :)

1-5
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Never mind, I had a decent sleep and a snack and now the story doesn't look so bad. #writerlife

Candy Hearts reveals tomorrow, and I fought for that story so hard! It was like pulling teeth. I started over twice, and have been editing up until now. And I'm still not happy with it. It really needed about 10k more words to develop the themes I introduced and to make the progression of the relationship more realistic, but with time and energy constraints, I did what I could. I ended up with a little over 4k words, and you can bet I'm going to be counting the 3.5k words of the other attempts, as well!

I'll give it one more editing pass tomorrow after work, but at this point, it is what it is.

I know my brain doesn't work the same as it did a few years ago, but this was ridiculous.

Hopefully, it at least makes narrative sense, even if it isn't satisfying. I know I can do better, and that's what's really killing me right now! (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

Spotted something last week with a sunset, it looked like a beam of light was coming up from the ground. Tried to zoom in on it to make it a little clearer but I think it was more noticeable in person.

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