placeholder post to show activity. I gotta save this stuff and move it to dreamwidth.

*pokes journal*

Hello darkness, my old friend.

“Next!” called the Ticket Warden. There was some jostling in the line before the girl stumbled forward towards the booth. The Ticket Warden’s face was like granite, clearly unimpressed.

“Please check off every applicable box,” the Warden stated, handing her a clipboard. The girl took it somewhat awkwardly, her hands already full with her copies of the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings (like she’d make the journey without them). She shoved them into her bag hastily but there was not much room left beside her journals, that earmarked copy of the Similarillion, and her extended edition dvd pack. Still, the warden was looking increasingly impatient and the line behind her continued to swell in numbers.
Unloosening the pen from the top of the clipboard, she began to read the form. At the top of the page were three headers, Kinks Prompted, Kinks Seconded, Fap Material. Under that were three columns of ticky boxes. To the far left was a listing of kinks written in what appeared to be an Anglicized Tengwar font. She skimmed the first few quickly.

BDSM
Bondage
Consensual sex
Daddy kink
Dubious Consensual sex
Durincest
-(Fili/Kili)
-(Thorin/Dis)
-Thorin /Fili or Kili
-Thorin/Fili/Kili
-other

The list was thorough, alphabetical, and long. She raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just have a ‘select all’ function?” she asked, genuinely confused. The kink meme participation line grew daily, if not hourly. “This seems like a lot of work,” she added, flipping the form to the second page. The top kink was Hurt/Comfort. She shook her head. Two pages barely covered half the alphabet!

The warden sighed in exasperation. “It’s my job to keep the records straight!” he said. “People need to get the journey that they’ve paid for, and if you check all the boxes, it’s a one way trip, no if, ands, or ‘but can we please stop here?’ Straight down! No ‘oooh, this tumblr looks so inviting, let’s stop here for tea!’ His voice took on a high pitched tone; he sounded like Merida’s father from Brave, to be honest. “Or,” he continued, “Any of that ‘maybe we can watch some Sherlock?’ that one’s the worst.” Here, the Warden was becoming more animated, his eyes glinting feverishly. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to properly file the kinks associated with Benedict Cumberbatch? I had to start a new catalogue after he crashed my old one, he’s crossed into so many fandoms. How one can crash a written card system, I have no idea -”

“Ah,” she interrupted, nodding sagely. “You’d be a lot happier if you just accept him as a One True Kink, especially for the Tumblr users.” Such individuals were easy to spot. The word ‘tumblr’ flashed occasionally across their eyes and they often expressed themselves through gifs. Like as not, it caused their fellow users to collapse under the weight of ‘feels’. To the uninitiated it could seem a lot like interpretive dance, but that was neither here nor there.

“Look,” she said. “There probably isn’t a kink on there that I didn’t cheer for, egg on, pray for, wish for, and fap to. Just put me down for all of them.”

The Warden pushed the glasses further up his nose and gave her a Look, but she was resolute. He sighed, rather dramatically but he pressed the buttons on the machine around his neck. He then turned a dial and it whirled and clanked like an old piece of clockwork.

“One way ticket to hell, full price, no stops, coming right up,” he said.

“Wait!” she cried, throwing up a hand, knocking her Return of the King to the ground (dammit). “What about getting a discount price?” she asked.

“That’s only applicable for groups larger than two who commented with noticeable eagerness on the same prompt,” he said rather pompously, she thought.

“Well, that’s easy then,” she said. She turned to the line and waved her hand. “Hey,” she called. “Anybody second a prompt? We can get discounted tickets!”

“Yes!” cried someone from the line. “The one with Richard and the facial, that one – ”

“Oh, seconded for sure” called another eagerly. “Positive I seconded all the RPF ones. Did you read the Graham/Richard drunk!rough!sex one?”
“Yes, though the Dwalin/Thorin/Balin one hit the kink I didn’t know I had – ” And just like that, any specific conversation was lost in the general din, though shouts of ‘yes!’ and ‘thirded, no, fourthed!’ could be heard.

“I said, only for groups of two or more, and on the same prompt!” the Warden hissed. She laughed and said, “I don’t really think that’s an issue here,” gesturing to the jubilant crowd.

“Fine,” the Warden bit out, cranking the machine once more. The racket this time was immense as it spat out a silver raffle ticket. It read:

Admit One –
Ticket to Hell via deviant acts, fandom related
Price: Full trip (discount)

Please enjoy the ride
(no flash photography)

She grinned and offered the Warden a deep bow. “Anonymous, at your service,” she said. The Warden only glowered at her in response. She grabbed her book from the floor as the next girl in line came forward, her hand already out to receive her discounted ticket.

Anonymous made her way through the gate. There stood the Train painted in red and black and green. The track dipped sharply into the floor, cutting an angle steeper than any rollercoaster ride. It spiraled in a tight circle into the darkness below where her eyes could follow it no longer.

She grinned once more and presented her ticket to the usher. This was going to be a hell of a ride.

Watching Naruto.

I am so ...childish.

No, that's not right. Boring? No. Nerdish? Not really.

What's a word for lame that has all the meaning but none of the connotations? That's not ableist, as they say.

Anyway, whatever that word is, I'm that. All over. Because, damn, Minato is *adorable*. He's all flashy and...well, really, it's just the flash. There are serious issues at play in regards to Naruto, but really, I just like cool fighting. /shallow. So yeah, I want to watch the Minato and Kushina and Kakashi show. With added Gai and Jiraiya. I'd take that over this any day. Seriously, I'm having DBZ flashbacks. 'Over 9000!' and all that.

Nope, still don't like Dean Winchester that much. I just...he's such a hypocrite. And overly emotional. And quick to jump to conclusions. Which isn't a bad thing, really, characters have to have flaws. But he only gets worse because no one accurately calls him on his behaviour. Which, gah. Anybody else find that annoying?

I also read the imdb page for the Hobbit. I am...bewildered. Happy in some respects, but I fear my canon-rage is going to be great. Oh well, it wouldn't be a LotR film without hours of complaints (and drinking games, wah-hey!).

Aaaaaand, Happy Canada Day!

I should be packing, but I have most of an ep of Sherlock to finish (as I got sidetracked by Andromeda, and maaaaan that show was so terrible it was good, until it was so terrible it was just plain terrible). Then packing. But home! Tomorrow! Yay! I get to see my cat! And my mom and my friends. :D They're important too. And then I start being part of the working world on Tuesday. Boring, soul-sucking job countdown, COMMENCE!

I'm hoping, really hoping, that I'll be able to get my shit together and do something ...fantastic. Something cool. Travel, or do exciting work, or go back to school. Something. There are so many places I want to go, so many things I want to do. I have to start doing them. They won't just fall into my lap.

I also need to stop buying so much David's Tea. And shoes. My major weaknessess. They'e just so compelling.

My god, I do love Top Gear.

And if I had the money, I would so buy an Ariel Atom. I've said that before, but it bears reiterating.


...so you know when you're reading something and it just...sort of spirals? Spins off in a direction that gets more and more...strange with each passing paragraph. Convoluted. Dark. Sort of ...twisted? And then it's like, 'how the fuck did this happen...wait, what? What?' and a sense that you didn't really sign up for that.

That's what I get for not reading warnings. I mean, backbuttons are great things. I just wasn't expecting this to be so ...serious. And like, fill-in-the-blank dark. All the words with little of the impact.

It honestly is sort of laugh out loud funny. In a very odd way. Like a very very slow non-fatal trainwreck. Or re-reading poetryfics from junior high.Transfixed, a bit horried, a bit amused and so very, very befuddled.

ETA: omg, it keeps getting better. Tormented serial killers. I just...can't. Seriously. The whole fandom is like, fluff squared, with a few were-cars thrown in and the occasional archeologist!au. This is so far left-field from what I thought was going to happen (because, like every fandom, there are zombie!apocalypse!stories, which are quite well done and that's what I thought I was getting into, but no).

Goddammit, Supernatural, you've ruined my ability to take over-the-top angst seriously.

And yet, I'm still transfixed. Oddly...compelled. *throws up hands and keeps reading* 

I don't think I realised how lonely moving would be. I mean, Hussian and I get along great. I feel more settled into the apartment each day. And she's so straightforward that I'll doubt we'll have like, roommate issues. Her cat still doesn't like me, but I'm slowly winning him over.

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I desperately need to to rec my bookmarks. I can't find anything.

Delicious would probably make more sense, as it can use filters.