... and the sugar turned bitter.

Alongside Noro Kayo, Ohori Megumi, and Sato Yukari, Kohara Haruka was one of the early AKB48 members moved over to SDN48 on 22nd September 2009, joining former SKE48 member, Ichihara Yuri in the two months before she up and quit, presumably over the move, and a host of other older members who later went on to become SDN's first generation.

Originally auditioning for AKB in 2007, she passed and quickly became a member of the kenkyuusei, appearing on their recording of Oogoe Diamond as well as appearing on the recording of Shonichi that appeared on Namida Surprise!, having been transferred into Team B in early 2009.



2009 must have been a tumultuous year for Haruchan. Originally promoted in Team B in January, she was then moved into Team K in August during the team shuffle event, however, before she could even debut with her new team, it was announced she was one of the members comprising SDN in September. I'm not often critical of decisions made during early AKB because I mostly have nostalgia goggles on, but this passing around of older members like they were a hot potato, and, indeed, the final fate of SDN remains a real sticking point for me.

Regardless of Haruchan's inability to rank during the first five senbatsu elections, two of which she did not participate in, when it came to the smaller circle of SDN members, she came in ninth place and, as a result is present in the lineups for all of the group's releases, from GAGAGA, to Ai, Chuseyo, to MIN・MIN・MIN, to Kudokinagara Azabu Juuban duet, a duet with presenter and television personality, Mino Monta, for which she appeared as Wcentre with Yukarin, and, at last, Makeoshimi Congratulation.

It feels frustrating even now that Haruchan and other members of SDN did not get more recognition. It's not as if she did anything wrong, in early AKB, she appeared during the second stage performances by Himawari-gumi, the multi-team lineups that included many of the Kami 7, she put in shifts in the AKB48 Café & Shop, and she took every transfer to every new team like it was a chance to really show what she was made. AKS let Kohara Haruka down, just as they let all of SDN48 down.

Following her graduation, Haruchan went on to work in gravure before joining a number of former SDN members—Kazue Akita, Okochi Misa, and formerly Kimoto Yuki, Fukuda Akane, and Fujikoso Yumi—as the idol group R, whose releases are really hard for me to find, but whose singles I would love to have copies of. Look at how awesome they all seem in their promo photos!

In 2021, Haruchan got married and gave birth to her first child. She's still a member of R, and whilst the group doesn't seem to be doing much as of 2022, I really, really hope we get to see more of them again any year now!

AKS may have let SDN48 down, but I'm going to continue to support these members no matter what!

Title: Courtney Tokusatsu Fan Club!
Universe: Kamen Rider Black RX, Yuugen Jikkou Sisters Shushutorian, B-Robo Kabutack, Kamen Rider Gotchard, 5 Nen 3 Kumi Mahogumi, Kamen Rider Gavv
Character(s): Matoba Kyoko, Yamabuki Yukiko, Okubo Reika, Kudo Rinne, Kohara Asako, Tashiro Mitsuko, Liselle Želdac
Rating: U
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Courtney Tokusatsu Fan Club (コートニー特撮ファンクラブ, Kotoni Tokusatsu Fan Kurabu), often stylized as CTFC for short, is a premium subscription service launched by Courtney, allowing registered members to stream her massive library of brainrot.
Length: 802, 703, & 959 words
Author's Notes: I wrote this nonsense entirely for my own amusement. It is the utmost definition of fanfiction. also: external links 1, 2, 3



( Heisei Girls Remix )

( Outsiders: Ladies Night )

( Showa Girls Remix in Hallowe’en Party )

Title: Fear Factory
Universe: VR Troopers, Big Bad Beetleborgs
Character(s): OCs
Rating: U
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Winter, 2003. Fresh snow, stale breath, starving men with their hands above their heads, star spangled metal.
Length: 2169 words
Author's Notes: This isn't very subtle, I'm afraid. also: external link.



( Fear Factory )

“I will not entertain the notion for even a moment.” He scoffed, crossing his legs, folding his arms. “Counterfeit cards being trafficked on the Tonakailiner. What dross.”

I started writing a new book before I had even shared the last one with you. I had the feeling even before Rei had completed the cover for that first book that I was now unable to let go of this minor character who had appeared in two episodes of a Kamen Rider show in late 2023, and that now whatever I have imagined I had seen in her character had condemned us both to spending an eternity together. Through the early months of 2025, I spent my time imagining this train journey, trying to build not only on who I felt Harima Shiori was, but also who I thought her partner in the Investigations Department, Kugimiya Licht might be. I became obsessed with the idea of these two as a kind of awful Mulder and Scully, and I became fascinated with the idea that, through circumstance and poor execution, the episodes they share and the one summer movie in which Kugimiya appears sets up this scenario where both of these characters who are working together are antagonists on behalf of differing causes. It felt like Hitler and the Devil going out for dinner and neither of them realising the other was a bad guy also; it was stupid, I felt like I had to take it seriously.

Whilst writing the last book, I realised I had gone in a direction that presented the end results of a world in which evil is always the obvious outcome. In writing this one during the cold months of winter and the early spring, I realised I wanted to explore what steps you might need to take to reach that bad ending. In addition, I wanted to be a little defiant, I wanted you to know that I think Harima Shiori is the kind of character you can tell a broader array of stories about than her roughly fifteen minutes over two episodes give her credit for. I may have played my hand with this too early, having already shared two different stories in which I tried to push Kugimiya and Harima into their roles as awful Mulder and Scully, in which I tried to make the Investigations Department mean something more than their role as bad guys for two episodes before the franchise's traditional Christmas and New Year cliffhanger. Along the way, I was greatly inspired by not only Rei, but linky, luckyzukky, and likealighthouse also, all of whom I owe a great debt to that I can never repay. Likewise, Stewart, who is now possibly more experienced with shepherding me than he would like to be, really helped ensure this work made sense before finally being placed in your hands. When writing this, the Black Saturn community humoured me with more kindness and patience than I deserved as I spent a year posting allusions in one thread to every possible base instinct humanity is known to possess. As a companion piece, I also wrote the final story in our Kudo Mina cycle, this last part acting as a sort of epilogue to one specific thread found in this book.

I wanted to both show you that Shiori was more important than the two episodes she appeared in gave her room to prove, and I wanted to try and challenge myself to write a kind of story that was different from anything I had previously made. This book went through numerous titles before we settled on this. The final title is testament to my firm belief that everything you might possibly want to say sounds better when spoken in Spanish.

I wanted to write about the moments before the fall, the moments in which you are so convinced you are doing the right thing that you don't stop to think about what the outcome of those actions might be. I think that's at the heart of Shiori's character, I think that's what makes her so relatable. I want you to see her like I see her; I want you to listen to what she is telling you even though you know you can't trust her. Perhaps, in a way, I'm also asking you to extend this courtesy to me.


gif by likealighthouse

¡Locomoción! | cover and illustration by Rei | written by me | edited by Stewart Sheargold | published by Black Saturn.

Now please ask me if I have already started work on a further Shiori book. :p

On Saturday, I went into a print shop to buy a card and ended up with a handful of bookmarks and a lot of questions about a this picture by artist Tsuchiya Kōitsu, initially printed in 1934 and simply entitled Nezu Shrine. I am uneducated, friends, I don't really understand art or art history, and I recognise enough that anywhere that sells "prints" of "famous pictures" is mostly for people searching for souvenirs of time spent away from home or reminders of places they once knew, but I keep thinking about this picture: why is the lady standing alone in the snow? Who is it that is ahead of her? Are they together? Do they know each other? Are they lovers who cannot be seen together or are they simply strangers that arrived at the same time in the dark amidst the virgin snow? The lady is looking ahead but it almost seems to me that such forward focus comes only after a time of looking back, she seems like she has just turned her gaze to the path again, that she is reluctant to go ahead but she knows she must. I imagine it is New Year, maybe, that this is a hatsumode, if you like, that this lady has reached some crossroads, that she has made some resolution.

I'm reading a lot into this. It's 5:33am on a Monday morning. In my sleep, I kept waking and thinking of the snow at Nezu shrine.

I first really became conscious of Shimada Haruka whilst Oba Mina was in disgrace. A member of the ninth generation alongside her former classmate, Nakamura Mariko, Mori Anna, Yamauchi Suzuran, Yokoyama Yui, and, of course, Oba herself, Haruu was brought in as temporary captain of Team 4 during 2nd September 2011 through to 4th January 2012 when Oba finally made her triumphant return. This wasn't her only brush with leadership either, as in 2015, she was appointed as co-captain alongside Kitahara Rie as she was moved to Team K, a position she held for several years until it was done away with in 2017 and she announced her graduation. Haruu was always a smart girl, having no catchphrase, just a simple "I'm Team K's Shimada Haruka," and having some prior experience of shepherding wayward members in her school's tennis club. It's no surprise then that she went on to become the CEO of clerical and IT related company DCT.inc, based in Shibuya-ku... wait, looking at this, maybe I should try and get a job here?

Haruu joined AKB in 2009 as a kenkyuusei member and several months later debuted in the theatre during a revival of Team B's fourth stage, Idol no Yoake, during which she performed Itoshiki Natasha, a song that also featured on Sashihara Rino's debut single, Soredemo Suki da yo. As with Kato Rena, the only A side she appeared on was Manatsu no Sounds good!, yet that didn't stop Haruu from fast becoming popular with fans even if she wasn't able to rank in the successive general elections that followed. In 2010, however, she was moved to Team Unknown, and from that moment, the irrepressible Team 4 was born.

In 2012, having returned captaincy of her team back to Oba, she was moved to Yokoyama Team K during the fateful Tokyo Dome Team Shuffle, and from here she built her career as a Team K stalwart, appearing frequently on B sides during the years before she announced her graduation during a 2017 SHOWROOM stream. Having taken a break from the entertainment industry, Haruu has gone from strength to strength, with the establishment of DCT.inc, her marriage in 2023, and the birth of her first child in May 2024.

Since last year, I thought briefly of maybe staying in Atami for a longer period of time than just a daytrip. When I discovered that Haruu was the owner of a guesthouse in Atami, I thought very briefly about what it would be like to stay there, but I really don't have the courage for guesthouses, let alone guesthouses run by former Team 4 captains, I'd absolutely make a fool of myself.

Yet still, maybe one day...

Kato Rena, alongside Abe Maria, Iriyama Anna, Izuta Rina, Nakamata Shiori, Fujita Nana, and several others, were announced as AKB48's tenth generation in March 2010. Together they passed the selection exam several months later, and although they made their debut, this new generation of kenkyuusei flew mostly under the radar until the 2012 Saitama Super Arena concert in 2012 and Rena joined Maria, Shiori, Anna, and our fresh lemon, Ichikawa Miori, all of whom had been promoted a year earlier to the ranks of Oba Mina's Team 4.



Manatsu no Sounds good! came out in May 2012. The original MV is still unavailable on youtube as it was kind of bleak, something that surprised me for a summer single. At the time, I was really enthusiastic as we'd just got the very heartfelt GIVE ME FIVE! in the same year, but I was a little embarrassed by this single being a summer bikini single. The video doesn't shy away from its focus, and I find it uncomfortable seeing the members on the beach in white bikinis before the dancing starts. At the same time, this discomfort is what I really like about AKB. It's easy to dismiss AKB as the mainstream, certainly they were absolutely the mainstream in 2012, but this sense of antagonism and subversion runs through the images for these releases, and Manatsu no Sounds good! is no exception in either of its forms. Although Renacchi was one of the last of her generation to be promoted into Team 4, someone in management clearly had an eye on her as she was immediately drafted for the media senbatsu amongst the big names and alongside Iriyama Anna, whilst other members of Team 4 were left to make up the numbers. It feels wild to talk about being in the senbatsu in such a way but that's where we were in 2012.

During her eleven years, almost twelve years in AKB, Renacchi had a good run in the senbatsu, appearing on fourteen singles, some of which—Labrador Retriever, Kibouteki Refrain—were really big songs for the group, some of which—Tsubasa wa Iranai, 11gatsu no Anklet—she was also in the media senbatsu for. On the B sides of these singles, Renacchi also appeared frequently, and whilst she never had a solo centre position, she did appear on Kaisoku to Doutai Shiryoku with Suda Akari as part of a Wcentre and had no less than three joint centres with Kizaki Yuria.

In late 2012, she was moved to Team B, but returned to Team 4 in 2014, now brought back under the captainship of Minegishi Minami, and then between 2017 and her graduation in 2022, went back to Team B, then to Team A, then to Team B again. Last year, several years after leaving, she announced her marriage.

Renacchi was always one of the hardest workers in AKB during her years in the group, continually going back and forth between the senbatsu and the Undergirls, she was one of those girls who was popular enough to be recognisable in the lineup of each single, but was also someone you could meet properly as the Kami 7 became ever more distant and then eventually began to graduate. Coming off the 20th anniversary celebrations, it is easy to be blinded by nostalgia for what we remember AKB to have been, but it was members like Renacchi who got us through to where we are now, we helped us reach a place where we can comfortably celebrate that anniversary.

Kato Rena made her mark in AKB48. The ninth and tenth generations gave us Team 4, and though we did not appreciate it at the time, they very much bridged the Homeric golden age of AKB antiquity with the modern day. Renacchi might not be the first name you think of when you recall AKB48 in 2012, but I have no doubt that it is her you will remember when you think back on those PVs and see past the Kami 7, and for this, for working so hard for the group, we owe her a debt of thanks.

I dimly remember THE COINLOCKERS but I had no idea that their membership rotated so significantly during the three years they were active. That surely should have been a sign considering the higher bar of entry, the need for all prospective members to not only play but be fairly proficient with their instruments, but, whatever the case, hot off the heels of WWTHYWC!'s band theme, this Akimoto Yasushi idol-group-band weathered a fairly tumultuous storm, even if only for a few years.



Before the debut of the group, however, bass player Hayasaka Tsumugi debuted in the original line-up of Team 8 in 2014 alongside, deep breath, Abe Mei, Okabe Rin, Okubora Chinatsu, Oguri Yui, Oda Erina, Nagano Serika, Fujimura Natsuki, Onishi Momoka, Kuranoo Narumi, Shitao Miu, Cho Kurena, Hamamatsu Riona, Fukuchi Rena, Honda Hitomi, Yokomichi Yuri, the other Yokoyama Yui, and Yoshino Miyu. Like her colleagues, she was there for the first performances of Team 8's revival of PARTY ga Hajumaru yo, appearing on stage at the SKE48 theatre in early August of that year. In September, when the team moved on to performing Aitakatta, Tsumugi was there also, the youngest member of a very young team, a girl who loved omurice and whose oshi was Goto Moe. Like Yoshino Miyu, she was also present on the on the B sides of every AKB release from Kokoro no Placard through to High Tension, as well as outlasting her by one single with the dubious honour of appearing on a B side for Teacher Teacher, Romantic Junbichuu.

When Tsumugi announced her graduation in 2018, there must have been some knowledge of what was coming next, of Akimoto's plans to launch THE COINLOCKERS as an independent idol-group-band. Debuting in December of that year with a significant rotation of members in the three short years in which they were active, THE COINLOCKERS felt like they were trying to capture some of that feeling that bands such as Whiteberry evoked in the late '90s as well as conjuring up that nostalgic feeling of school festival bands. I have no sources to confirm this, but I feel the roots of the project and Akimoto's creative motivation lay with GIVE ME FIVE!, and, even further back than that, with the Team K song, Tomo yo. What is disappointing in terms of Tsumugi's tenure with the group was so short. Before the year was out, Tsumugi had gone on hiatus in order to focus on school, and by the time the band's contract was renewed for 2019, she came back for the big end of year concert at Zepp Tokyo, along with all but thirteen members, she graduated as the record company "restructured" the band in light of sales for the concert not having reached some arbitrary target.

If this sounds gross to you, it's because it is. Already, THE COINLOCKERS were set up not in terms of a "real band" but much more in spirit like Team 8, a large cast of members who could fill in for different parts on different dates. Whilst Tsumugi was on hiatus, there were still Kagami Nozomi, Nakajima Sumire, Yamagishi Uta, Terada Momo, Yoshida Momo, and YURI who played bass in the band, and concerts were far more like idol concerts, consisting of a number of subunits rather than being like a regular band. You can see the impact of Team 8's popularity in this approach, you don't need me to point it out to you. Whatever happened after that 23rd December concert, however, Tsumugi was not a part of it.

It's a sad note to end it on. Tsumugi, who sold herself as being expressionless and tomboyish, made a jump following Team 8's success and it feels like she was both let down by record companies and management as well as maybe overestimating how much she could commit to in light of schoolwork. That really makes me sad, friends. I hope that whatever she is doing now, she is happy doing it. I hope that, from time to time, she still picks up her bass.

We ushered in the New Year quietly and without event. Unlike the girls of Lillian Girls' Academy, I will sadly not be doing this rounds at temples or staying over with friends to-day, but the moment in which we ushered in 2026 was no less meaningful for me, and I got to watch the triumphant return of AKB48 to NHK's Kouhaku Utagassen so I have no real complaints. If I have any resolutions this year, it's that I'm going to really double-down on deconstructing and treating seriously anime tropes in a medium for which they were not intended. This statement was brought to you by my resisting the urge to take apart the notion of harem anime shows.

Ah! Friends, I can't make Christmas last any longer (disclaimer: I can. Technically Christmas doesn't finish until Candlemas in early February, or on 6th January if you're less generous) but I did spend a moment yester-day going through my journal and mastodon to answer the question: "what did you actually like Courtney?" The criteria is simply that to make this list, it had to be released, even if only in translation, during 2025, so without further ado:

( comics )

( anime )

( games )

( pop )

"... and thanks to you, the player!" is how games used to conclude, and by this, I mean thanks to you for putting up with me ramble about nonsense for another year. I'm going to do my best to make this year better than last but I know that the last year would have been 200% harder without you, my friends, to get me through, so I just want to say thank you to all of you for that. I'm starting off the new year making some big changes about how I do things creatively so if at any time you see me resting on my laurels, please feel free to give me a kick.

Happy New Year, friends! 💖🎊🍰🎉🎂🎍