Doing my part to chronicle my own life, as no biographer has of yet stepped up... :)

( Thanksgiving 2012Collapse )

... from our lovely and much-needed vacation.

I'm going to blog in detail about all of this, but our week included:
- two lovely days in New Orleans, eating our way through the French Quarter
- the rest of the week in the lovely South Carolina lowcountry, visiting my parents

You'll thrill to tales of escargot, hurricanes, bread pudding, outlet malls, fellowship with family and a surprising lack of bickering, angst and drama!

Now we're back. Immediately up - a buttload of laundry (me) and putting up the Christmas tree (him). Early for the Xmas tree, yes, but we're hosting a series of brunches and dinner parties starting next weekend, so there. Also coming up, birthdays for everyone in my nuclear family (except me) - they're all Sagitarii. And whatever horror is awaiting at work. And, of course, Christmas.

I didn't do a good job about writing every day this month, and I never really did get to delve that deep into actually writing something more than what's going on my head - but I'm currently reading John Scalzi's You're Not Fooling Anyone When You Take Your Laptop to a Coffee Shop, which BTW is available as part of his super bundle this month - and it's very inspirational. Perhaps I will spend the cold dark winter writing (as well as publishing music arrangements and exercising and developing my career and improving my mind and saving the world).

Quite a couple of weeks we've had here. A hurricane, a nor-easter, Halloween, a presidential election, work drama and so on. To the point that, when I signed off on Friday from my home office, I had to grab the calendars and figure out just what the hell was coming up in the next week or so. Nice stuff, actually, a rehearsal and a performance of Blue Hill's Grand Hotel (which opened last night).

The weather, combined with an odd work schedule this past week, has meant that I haven't actually been to town (Manhattan) in over two weeks, which is way weird. I'll actually be looking forward to going to the office on Monday.

It'll be another hopping week, but it ends with an exclamation point, as Mr. Man and I fly off to New Orleans for the weekend (and then to South Carolina for Thanksgiving with my parents). This Thanksgiving break is well-deserved for both of us. I'm just hoping we can go into it with openness and flexibility and minimize the 'these things have to happen LIKE THIS' attitude, which hasn't worked for us well on the last couple of trips. We've been to New Orleans twice before, two years in a row, pre-Katrina. The first time, the city was new to us - the second time felt like we were watching a rerun of a show we hadn't like that much the first time. There is much beauty in the city, and the food is amazing, but we're not the drink-like-college-students types, not jazz enthusiasts, and the city felt to me like Atlantic City also does - a lot of people really really struggling to make a living, but pushing a forced gaiety at you ALL THE TIME, because you don't have a good time, they may starve. It's heart-wrenching and somewhat creepy. We'd definitely come back too early. But it's been almost a decade since then and we're due for another visit, and I'll see if I can appreciate the good and not let the bad drag me down. And the food is amazing.

As for visiting my parents, there have been years there where I've felt we've gotten into a rut. We've now been there as a couple something like 17 times and we've pretty much seen what there is to see, tourist-wise. We always spend a day at the outlet malls, we always do a day trip to Savannah or Charleston (or both), we always go into downtown Beaufort. And the repetition is actually kind of lovely and comforting, and I am looking forward to it. But as my parents have aged and become less mobile and less interested, there can be a tension between what Mr. Man wants in a Thanksgiving (elaborate) and what my parents want (simple). I have, in the past, resented being put in the position to mediate between opposing parties on these (and other issues) - but I've seen it enough now to (a) be ready for it and (b) say to anyone who's trying to route complaints through me, 'go tell him/her yourself, you've been family for almost twenty years now'. I'd like to keep everyone happy, but I don't want to be the person putting in the effort to make everyone happy. We all need to chip in there.

There's a bit of guilt there too - we see them at Thanksgiving (there) and Christmas (here) and often do not see them again until the next round. And they're aging and I worry about them and that there's no one there to help them (although I know that's not true) and that I should be keeping more of an eye on them. But I think the plan is to assume that they can take care of themselves until they ask for help or it becomes obvious that they can't, then step up and do what's necessary. And know that that day is coming and get ready for it.

I am so not a caretaker, but I'm well-aware that when the time comes, I'll put on my big-boy panties and do what needs to be done, and will be happy to do it. djmrswhite has a great piece on taking care of his disabled mother, where he, with great humor, describes realizing, to help his mother, he had to deal with her naked unmentionables. And all the alarm bells that sets off, but you just get over yourself and you do it because you have to. But I hope that time won't come any time soon, and maybe we can avoid that part anyway...

And of course that brings up the, oh god, what happens when we can't take care of ourselves. Mr. Man is already older than Mom and Dad were when they retired, and I'm not that far behind him. Tick tock tick tock. Well, fiddle dee dee, we'll think about that tomorrow.

Plus two theater reviews.

( Falalalala, lalalalaCollapse )

I think I need to just accept that the only time I'm going to do substantive blogs are Sunday mornings when the coffee kicks in and that's just fine.

An interesting week, and not too bad. Monday, Mr. Man and I flew home from the Lowcountry, mostly painless flight. It was a lovely week. Immediately did laundry and pulled the Xmas boxes out of storage to prep for the week ahead.

Wed was rainy and horrible, weatherwise, and dramatic too. A co-worker got fired, that sucked, although I took it to mean that all deadlines around the project I shared with him were now null and void. After work, I headed up to Broadway and spent money I don't have on tickets to Peewee Herman (for Sibling Sam's visit) and Women on the Verge... (for Mom and Dad's visit). Then off to vikkiwill's for a lovely dinner with our Australian director friend and then (to our surprise) Vikki's husband. Very fun evening. By then it had stopped raining, which is why I left my umbrella at Vik's house and didn't even notice until she sent me an email about it, heh.

Thursday and Friday nights I prepped the Xmas lights for Mr. Man's tree assembly, then yesterday was the big push to get the tree up. I think Mr. Man is grumpy with me today because I didn't help him "enough", but here's what I did yesterday: assembled the electric Xmas candles, helped him put the garlands on the tree, helped him reposition the tree, put all the boxes back in the storage closet, did the laundry, did the ironing, processed the dry cleaning (usually a nothing task, yesterday it was an armload of stuff to remove from the bags, fold up and so on). Changed the toilet seat in the guest bathroom. Put new batteries in the smoke detectors. So, yeah, maybe I didn't help him unpack the ornaments like he'd asked, but it's not like I was sitting around eating bon-bons. He always gets super-stressed around Xmas, and it's 99% self-inflicted.

I did, to keep me company, download an unabridged audiobook of "A Christmas Carol" to listen to instead of podcasts. Also found a collection of "99 best Christmas tunes" on Amazon for $1.99 - mostly no-name classical recordings. It's pretty good!

Last night was the band concert, which thank goodness I wasn't performing in - but certainly am expected to attend no matter how beat I am. Half the QUO orchestra was playing in this concert, too. It was great! Fun program, including Grainger's "Molly on the Shore", Corigliano's "Gazebo Dances", the Barber "Commando March" (which I'd done with them too), Holst's First Suite (ditto), the Mendelssohn Overture for Band, and some pop medleys. Corigliano was there (they gave him an award) and I got to meet him! Very exciting.

Today I will help Mr. Man in EVERYTHING HE WANTS, do my own projects too. And I am giving a vocal coaching this afternoon, that's new.

Nothing much to say, other than we're having a very pleasant and relaxing time down here in South Carolina at Mom and Dad's. Weather has been beautiful. We've had some nice meals out and Mr. Man made a traditional (and terrific) Thanksgiving feast yesterday.

I'm getting some Fledermaus stuff done - that project is finally about to take off, and I'm glad it waited until Wall Street and QUO were done with.

Today is outlet mall day. Apparently they've destroyed Outlet Mall #1, but the stores have moved from Bluffton to Hilton Head. We'll start out at Mall #2, have our traditional lunch at the restaurant there, and move on to Brooks Brothers and stuff. Tonight, Mom and Dad are having neighbors over for drinks, and we'll be back for that.

Christmas is going to be fun, but not easy - Sibling Sam and his partner will be up the weekend before Xmas (on his big-zero birthday, as a matter of fact) - then Mom and Dad will come up in time to overlap with them and to stay through Xmas. Luckily we have a nice household-setup for guests and we have the routine down. And the moths are gone... :)

So, yeah, what was a very busy and stressful fall has just come to a definitive period. We'll pick life up after Thanksgiving.

( So, how was your week?Collapse )

Yesterday, a lot of things hanging over my head solidified, and I have quite a schedule over the next few days. ( O RLY?Collapse )

Yet another scattershot poorly-planned blog post.

Bearforce 1 is breaking up. I am heartbroken.

Monday night, I had my first "Gondoliers" rehearsal. The heartening: a fairly large chorus, if we don't lose too many, who seem to be able to handle the music, and don't seem too contrary. The disheartening: the noise level of organization and communication is still not close enough to zero to suit MY needs. But I have confidence in sunshine, rain, that spring will come again, and that this is doable. Two more rehearsals this upcoming week, then nothing until January. (Except a bazillion emails and scheduling scheduling scheduling.)

Tonight - band concert! It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm playing possibly better than I ever have been - there are moments where I wish I had found a way to turn the playing into a career. But once I found my footing as a musician, I was always more intrigued by the music rather than the instrument and horn repertoire (lush romantic orchestral literature, a dearth of truly excellent solo repertoire) just isn't very interesting. If I had played oboe or cello or some instrument where I could have spent the rest of my life exploring any facet of the literature and never run out of material, I might have made it work. Anyway - the band itself remains a hugely important organization to its members, both as a means of making music and being part of something out, loud, and gay, and the members make it clear every time I return how happy they are to have me back. I suspect I might get a leetle teary tonight when I conduct my number - the first time I've conducted the band since I stepped down.

We leave for South Carolina for Thanksgiving week just a week from now. I've earned this week off, I think. We decided not to go to New Orleans because we're both really fat and don't need the extra calories. (This was Mr. Man's idea, but I agree.) A week with my parents will be fun, low-key, and involve shopping (!), putzing around Beaufort, Savannah and Charleston, and some lovely down time which I'll probably spend highlighting my Gondo score.

Oh, I got tickets to A Little Night Music for the day after Xmas, when my parents are up here. That will be fun. I adore the show, have been in it twice, and Mom and Dad have never seen it.

What else? Work was a nice level of busy, but not too, this week and I led my first training/coaching with a co-worker, leading her through the basics of what the lit support industry is all about. This is deliberately unstructured, and is designed not only to patch the holes in her understanding, but to identify the holes in mine, and to start building a structure that we can use to educate others as well. I do like teaching - a lot - the problem I have is it's grueling and teaching all day, every day, will knock you out cold. Still, I wouldn't mind getting back into an education-y job at some point.

I've decided to ask for a Wii for Xmas. Whee! Mostly for the Wii Fit, as I need to start doing SOMETHING again. But I'll probably get the Lego Harry Potter game for Wii. What else should I get?

Boy, I got a lot done yesterday. Laundry, haircut, errands, dry-cleaning*, brought ornament boxes up from storage closet, took ornaments off tree (w/ Mr. Man), experimented with digitizing from cassette by connecting new mini laptop to stereo. I still need to keep working on that last - sadly, the source tape I was using (old Peabody concerts) is stretched and now somewhat unusable.

Also figured out my schedule now that I know what show I'm doing, and discussed with Mr. Man. We were coming down to the wire as far as whether we'd be able to travel to Mom and Dad's this month - turns out that with his work schedule, it's just not gonna happen. (I need to call my parents today. Mom, if you're reading this here first, sorry. We're now talking maybe March or May, depending on your schedule.) Since, due to my company's financial flounderings, I have to take a week's worth of vacation this month, I'm now free to randomly sprinkle those five days around. I have to figure that out. Definitely I'll take Inauguration Day off. A day to empty my storage closet (the other one, offsite, that I pay money for). A few more days to not spend money but do important household projects like finally design and implement a good backup plan for my home computers, rewire the home entertainment system, and, oh I don't know, figure out what to DO with the fifteen or so boxes of books from the storage closet that I now need to find home space for.

We went to a Three Kings party last night that a local friend (from Mr. Man's old church choir) throws every year. He's not a dear friend, but he lives only a block away and often the party guests include other choir friends we haven't seen in forever. Last night, the guests who actually showed up (forecast of heavy snow, reality of light snow) were an interesting mix. Demographically, we looked like a Benneton ad, but otherwise it was all gay men and one perky straight woman, who filled her evening's role of fag hag with great gusto. We had a surprisingly good time, didn't get home until 11:30 and didn't go to sleep until 1:00.

Today I don't have much personal stuff to do. There's some ironing, but everything I needed ironed got done yesterday. I have a Sorcerer rehearsal at 5:00, but the men will be released at break, according to the schedule I've seen. I think I will be dissembling the tree and wrapping up the lights and stuff and (if ready), schlepping all that stuff to the basement. Bye bye, Xmas. I'm not sorry to see it go - it comes around so fast every year now, I'm enjoying it while it's there and not being obsessive about listening to every album and watching every video.

*Usually takes ten minutes tops, but we'd put in a ton of stuff last week that had to be unbagged and folded and put away.